Name of my autobiography, do you like it?

I don't, it's a fucking terrible title >:J

But yes, my tablet is fucking up something fierce. Since it was an Xmas gift, I don't have the warranty or the receipt to contact the company directly, so unfortunately I'm waiting for the person who gifted it to me to get me that info. Grateful for the gift, but this kinda sucks since it directly impedes my ability to get the shit I need to keep streaming and working on digital pieces. However, I do still have lots of traditional work to do in the meantime. Iron artist is still on, and I'm going to switch back to my belated pokedexxy pieces! I've got about 20 of those left, just waiting to be inked and marker'd.

Long story short, streams are regrettably called off until further notice. I hope that a tablet replacement will come within a week or two if the gifter gets their shit together, and if there's nothing that can be done then I'm going to look into having it repaired. If both of those options fail, I'll be buying a new one from a different, more reliable manufacturer.

Other than that, I just worked an 8-shift week and I'm totally out of steam. Work is shitty again, and I would honestly like to cut down on my shifts and spend more time working on art at home, making up for lost earnings through commissions. But unfortunately, I just can't seem to bring myself to have that conversation with my boss... It's difficult, and I'm something of a coward when it comes to things like this: I'd sooner work myself into the dirt before admit that there's too much on my plate and ask for help.

However, once my tablet situation is resolved, I would like to do what I've been threatening to for awhile now and reopen commissions, and set up the stream sketch program for people to buy into. Art is my passion, and I would love to take steps towards making it my career! I think it's about time I nut up and start working towards that goal again. Hopefully I can work out my schedule and figure out the logistics of that!

In other news, the cats are doing great. I forget if I mentioned Stewie, but I'm pretty sure I did! Our other little blind kitty is doing great, and he's getting pretty big. If I had more drive and time (honestly between work and art I barely have time to be a pet owner) I'd share some pictures of him, but I don't have any! Take my word for it, he loves his adoptive big brother Sans, and Gaster and Braille are closer than ever. We all still miss Papyrus, but we also still love him dearly. <: > We'll never forget about that special little boy <3

Hope you're all doing well, though! Take care

gonna try n stream tomorrow around noon est!

since fa is under maintenance tomorrow (will prolly be done by noon, but you never know) I thought I'd announce that tonight! hope to see you at noon!! (or w/e time it will be for you)

Sup, my favorite fuckers

Nux just pitched this idea to me, and I'd really like to do it if people are interested!

Basically, the idea is to make a series of bathing suit pinups of various characters of mine, in line with something like Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue! (In fact I'll probably be looking to those specifically for reference quite a bit) There would also be a donation pool before the pack goes on sale, in which the amount of total money donated determines how many alts--differing or skimpier suits, nude versions, maybe even lewd versions--that I'll make. After that, the pack would be available for purchase and people who donated would either get a discount, or get the pack for free depending on how much they contributed! Something like that

I will probably also consider offering cheaper "male only" and "female only" bundles, so that people who aren't really in to one or the other can get what they want without anything that they don't! (maybe even a "futa only" package, but probably not since I really don't have that many futa characters and it'd be largely pointless)

The "default" versions of each picture will be free for everyone to view (assuming the donation pool succeeds and alts get made), but the other swimsuits and the nude/lewd versions will not be posted! Buying the pack is the only way to get to see all those juicy alts, mhm

I will probably run a poll or take suggestions for who to include: any character of mine could be a candidate! From Percival, Adelaide, Vasha, Doreen, Emile, Rosamund, Maxwell, Artemecion, Nora, Alonzo, Rory, Mary and friends; to Tako, Cal, Rika, Ambrose, Talulla, Lima, Tyson, Cedar and company; even to Dusty, Rocky, and other assorted characters whom you may have forgotten about! Heck, maybe if we get enough donations, you might even get me to draw Suskull in a swimsuit... ......... Maybe! Would that be weird? Probably

In addition, I would probably offer a few special commission slots that also fit the theme, with the possibility of alts! That way people who want their own characters in on it can have that option as well!

So, what do you think? Would you be down for that particular brand of sickness? Let me know what you think! And let me know what characters you'd like to see take part!

tomorrow, we dinestream in HELL

Probably around 11am EST, give or take an hour! I hope to see you then, friends

5 or so pieces behind on iron artist, one more "team math n shit signature movie idk whatever" piece to finish, an adoptable for the week to make, ref sheets to work on....... busytimes! Will probably do the refs, the maths, and then the adoptable, hopefully wrapping those up in time for V-Day

Oh also some porn

Yeah I've got that too

-sniff-

But anyway, just a friendly reminder that streams will now be moved to Thursdays! I'll also be hopefully planning for a secondary stream on saturdays when people are more free, but that'll vary week by week...

Hope you're well!

stroomin

prolly around 2pm est

but honestly I haven't slept yet and am bad at waking up XD

seeya whenever I'm conscious!

http://www.furaffinity.net/gallery/.....1005/For-Sale/

Prices on all of my adopts have dropped by $5! Any of them are now available between $3 and $15!

Please take a look :>

Yee, long overdue for this kind of journal I guess... Oh well! Deep breaths, deep breaths...

So, things have been sorta ridiculous lately. Trying to get moved out and finally independent, but it's involving a lot of physical labor (preparing the house for construction/getting rid of garbage from 5-6 years of neglect and bad cleaning habits) and mental gymnastics (trying to get a mortgage/buy the house off of Nux's uncle, figure out what sort of renovations we can afford and payment plans we can manage) that I'm simply not adult enough to handle. Or at least, I wasn't. Now, I don't think I have a choice anymore. I'm too stressed living like this, and we need to get kierou moved here as well.

I suppose simply put, I'm struggling to grow up and handle the gravity of moving out and becoming truly independent. Leaving my parents homes was hard enough, but now all this... Gah. Life's a lot of things, but simple is not one of them.

My work schedule is also going to change next week, and as such, stream days will too. I'll no longer be off on fridays, so I'll probably be doing my streams on thursday. Tuesday will be an optional streamday, but I'll be trying to spend that day off on housestuff and general free time with friends. It's unfortunate--I really liked my fridays--but it can't really be helped.

Ah, well... This year, I'd like to try to make some large-scale changes to my life. Driver's license... Art school... moved out... Moved in with Nux and Kierou... That's what I'm working with. Doing my best.


I am going to continue making adopts to ease myself back into commissions, but commissions will be opening properly sometime around the 22nd! I will also be doing stream sketch requests again, but they will now cost money. There'll be a single stream pass, a month's pass, and a year's pass... If you're not able to attend a given stream, then you may place an "order" for a single sketch if you've paid... Or something like that! Working on the deets, still. Prices will be formally announced when we're closer to the date, but paying this fee will allow you to get requests! I'll probably make a journal talking more about that at another time, though

I'm going to try to stream around noon EST tomorrow, with no particular goal in mind other than catching up on my iron artist backlog! I'll be working on at least one adoptable, and one gift, possibly one art trade with  pawn, and the rest is a mystery! We'll just see what ends up happening

I will also be trying to plan another stream for sunday, for those of you who are busy on fridays! We'll just have to see where the chips fall though, I guess

toodle-oo, my friends! Hope to see you tomorrow (but if not that's ok too)

$5 discount on basic reference sheets for the pokemon adoptables I made!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22360482/

I am also extending this offer to sexual reference sheets! $25 for a pretty comprehensive reference sheet of naughty stuff!
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13093162/

DEAL IS FINITO ON THESE GUYS

If you purchase an adoptable and note me with your inquiry before Feb 3rd, then you'll pay $15 for a normally $20 4 face reference sheet!

Can be nude (as pictured originally) clothed to your specifications, or have an outfit of my choosing! Whatever you'd like, just note me before friday and the offer applies! We'll work it out via notes!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/22427811/

WOW, WHATTADEAL!!


Also, check out this year old adoptable that still hasn't sold! A tall, sporty chimecho, who comes with an outfit too! $6, and she's all yours!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/19345674/




I can't be a salesman anymore, I need to go the fuck to sleep

My coworkers shit needs to calm down right the fuck down
now life's kinda funny innit? just calm your tits, I swear
I'll tell you how tomorrow's stream is delayed and it's a little not fair

Actually it's totally fine and not a big deal, I just wanted to bust some copyrighted rhymes

Yeah I'm covering a shift tomorrow morning, and probably won't start streaming til sometime in the afternoon, after I've decontaminated and had some time to eat lunch. Around noon or 1pm EST seems likely as a start time! BUT I GUARANTEE NOTHING

Subject matter... finishing the raffle prize from last time, some shenanigans, and MORE COLORING OF ADOPTABLES, WOWSA

Weather permitting, unrelated sketch party with random stuff

I might do crowd suggestions, but these will be far less guaranteed and more casual than the requests you know of.

I've also put a little more thought into opening up requests for monthly/yearly fees, but life is a little bullshit and busy as I try to work on moving out and fixing up our (hopefully) soon-to-be house. Hopefully we can get the commissions/paid requests ball rolling sometime in March or April! But, we'll just have to see what things are like then

Thanks for sticking with me guys, I hope you like the new stuff I've been working on!

Tomorrow, I'll either be streaming or working on traditional art offline... We'll see which when I wake up! (leaning more towards traditional)

Either way, I owe you all last stream's sketchwall... And I have some traditional sketches to post too! Seeya on friday for a stream for sure tho... We'll be makin' bacon

Too sleepy to upload the adoptables for the week

That's ok, they'll be up tomorrow! Check em out then

I sit here at the crossroads, trying to work out a puzzle or two. It's not easy, but I have to keep going eventually, don't I?

Today, I'd like to work on some traditional sketches. I'm brewing up a few ideas for short comics, but I'm not quite sure which would be best... I'll have to draw up some drafts, maybe go back to an older rough draft... Who knows! Baby steps, right?

Tomorrow, I'd like to stream! We'll be working on an art trade, possibly two. We also might test out this picarto raffle feature, and do a quick thing. More details tomorrow when I announce the stream! prolly about 11am est

...is to stream myself drawing and playing video games tomorrow. Work is stressing the fuck out of me, so I'm just gonna unwind and be as much of a faglord as I wanna be <3

come join me, maybe there'll be cake and icecream. or just loads of drawing fuck, we'll see

probably starting at about 11 am est, but no guarantee! Just whenever i wake up

Going to try to re-instate regular streams! I'm thinking fridays, but we'll see how that works out.

Tomorrow, I plan to start at about 1pm EST, possibly a bit early depending on how it all goes. Will probably work on sketching (porn) mostly, but expect some pieces to be finished! I'd like to post some adoptables, so keep an eye out for those at some point.

Wow hey I came back

Sorry about that guys, I sort of lost control of my life for awhile there. Lots of chocolate pudding at 4 in the morning, shit'll fuck you right up
(But in all seriousness sorry about that. I just needed to shut down for awhile and take a break, and take care of myself IRL... Plus the lack of a tablet was sort of throwing me off. I have a shiny new one now though, so yay! Not to mention some traditional sketches to finish and share)

So, how about some resolutions to kick of 2017? From what I've heard and what I feel myself, 2016 was garbage and I'm glad to see it go in all honesty, hahaha. Let's hope this year is not as shit! Here's my resolutions from 2016, let's see how I did...

My goals were...

"To Improve on painting digitally and traditionally, I really want to work harder at this! It's something I enjoy, I should be doing it more and getting even better! Watercolor, acrylic, maybe even oil!" ☑ I feel like I made some good steps in this direction: I'm a bit more confident in the medium! I didn't do as much traditional painting as I wanted, but with my current living situation it sadly has not been an option. I don't have a proper workspace, but I hope that will change this year!

"Also to Show more variance in character designs. I feel like I've been stagnating, I want to impose more variety in the builds of (especially) male characters! I wanna see more pudge, more muscle, less pudge, less muscle, and other more interesting attributes! As an optional bonus: draw more than 2 kind of penis shape, damnit" ☑ You know, I think this is a goal I've started putting in motion! I didn't do quite as much as I would have liked in this regard, but I sure did like the results from my brief and sporadic practices! I hope to work more on this in the future though.

"Further, to Become better at working with semi-realistic animals! This is something I still struggle with. I want to draw better ferals, more believably bestial critters." ☐ I didn't do much at all in this department... I think I actually accomplished more in 2015 when this wasn't even a goal I had! Ah well...

"I should also Start set designing and working on layouts for homes, towns, etc! This will be important for my next goal, which is to..." ☐ I didn't do any of this at all ;~;

"Get cracking on sequential art. I'd like to do one-shots, vignettes, and other simple comics in the upcoming year, maybe even finish the ones I was previously working on!" ☐ I made a few short pages and made SOME progress, but I can't honestly say I feel like I accomplished much at all. I like what I did do, but it simply wasn't enough.

So... 2/5. Ulp... Not too good. But that's alright, I'll just have to try to do better! In the spirit of that, here's some new art goals for the new year:

Do another Iron Artist! 100 pieces from January 1st to April 10th. I better get to work!

Make more adoptables! My goal is to release new adoptables every friday this year! I'm excited to work on this, because I think it'll be good for my creativity and give me an opportunity to let loose and design character concepts that I wouldn't normally. Here's hoping they find buyers!

Produce AT LEAST ONE finished comic one-shot. I'd like it to be at least 10 pages! Knowing me, it could very well be more though... If all goes well, I'd really like to start making them on a regular basis!

Work on my CharaDex some more! I'd really like to make entries for some of my more prominent characters: Cosette, Adelaide, Emile, Vasha, Rosamund, Aysel, Castellia, Luka, Alban, and of course, Percival. If possible, I'd like to also include characters like Arsenio, Credence, Tomas, Himeri, Jin-Dok, Lewin, Anathema, Maladie, Fairebank, Masao, Morningstar... You know, all those people you barely see me draw!

and finally...

Solidify some of my world building. For awhile, I've been wanting to make some documents/illustrations detailing certain aspects of the world my characters inhabit for my own use as well as to help others better understand. I have a few loosely scattered notes, a lot of even more loosely scattered ideas, but I think it's about time to stop brainstorming and put the pedal to the metal. I hope that'll be interesting!

So, there we have it! Let's hope this isn't too ambitious, and I can start the new year feeling confident. Do you have any resolutions? Feel free to share them, if you like!


:OTHER NEWS:

So now that I have my tablet again, I'm thinking that I'll start streaming again, starting on monday! I'll be joining torgmous sometime around 8pm EST, for those who would like to stop by. No plans for a concrete schedule yet, so we'll just have to see how it goes!

In regards to requests... I will most definitely not be doing them on monday. I'm thinking about opening subscriptions on my picarto page and only allowing subscribers to participate in requests. Of course with actual money on the table, I would guarantee at least one lengthy request stream per month, probably several if all goes well. This idea is not set in stone--I'm also considering just having a yearly fee (paid directly via paypal) between 10 and 30 dollars for participation--but I think that a small charge would be a much better way to run requests. As much as I enjoy doing them, I also have to acknowledge that it's simply not good for my stress or self esteem to do so many requests at no cost, and it would be a big help to have some extra money. I will say that if I get enough people interested in these requests, I'd likely use the funds for upgrading my picarto to premium... And in that case, I'd like to make custom emotes for the first few subscribers... Something little like that to say thank you!

But! I'd be interested to hear what you guys think. Does 5 bucks a month, cancel anytime sound good? Would a yearly fee be more your speed? Do you think it'd be best to offer both? I'd like to know your opinion!

Don't know when I'll be back again
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actually it's my mom's SUV, not a jet plane

actually I'll be back on sunday

actually I don't like John Denver's music very much (RIP)

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Happy thanksgivin', tho! I'll be trying to draw and write and play Pokemon Sun some more, give my body and brain the rest and turkey that they need

Hey has anybody been reading  torgmous's comics? they're fun, go do that for me, wouldja?

And so we bid farewell to another fine lump of plastic. Thanks for all the good times, old friend ;.;

I'll probably ask for a new one for christmas, or buy a new one with christmas money. Until then, back to paper! Also back to writing at some point, possibly. Gughuhdfuhds. -wallows in failure-

Taking more art time off to write something for NaNo! Not furry or erotic this time (damn), but still something I'm enjoying working on.

Just a heads up, letting you know I'm still here and that I'm ok

Some spooky feelings were abound during my shift tonight, so I figure I'll take the opportunity for a few creepy work-related anecdotes! Not too many and not too spooky... But tis the season, I spose! No better time to share them, after all... And I do love a good scary story! Hope you enjoy them too, if only a little

So, (as many of you already know) I work at a no-kill animal shelter. We have an on-site clinic and full time veterinary staff, and we work with a lot of sick, unwanted, stray, neglected, and sometimes even abused cats and dogs. We're located in a bad part of town, so things can get weird after dark in the neighborhood: parked cars lingering in empty lots and alleys with their lights on, shady dudes hanging around the convenience store, icecream trucks going by at 9 o clock at night with the music on... You get the idea. The building is a converted warehouse: somewhat old, and more than a little shabby, too. There's a fair share of maintenance issues and things that go "bump" and "thump" even when the lights are on... Not to mention the tens of dogs and hundreds of cats that are caged up and restless when all the people go home. But there's a little something more too, a little extra creepiness when you're there all alone at night... Others I've talked to have agreed with me that it's hella spooky to be there by yourself. It might just be the bad neighborhood, the old building, the animals shifting around in the dark... But who knows? Maybe it's something else, too. All the high emotions and all the animals who have come and gone... I suppose it only makes sense that it could be haunted. I love the paranormal despite not being entirely sure of its genuine existence, so perhaps it's my overactive imagination spinning wild tales. But, I'll let you draw your own conclusions! On with the stories:

I've only been working there for about 2 or 3 years now, and I've found myself alone there at night a couple of times. I most often work giving out medicine to the cats, which is a one-person shift that you have to finish, no matter what time it is. I used to be so slow and cautious that I'd take forever, and I'd be the last one out of the building every night I worked, even when I started early. (don't worry, I got better at it!) I've also been there late at night bringing in cats from local trappers, and doing extra cleaning to help prepare for big public events. I think out of all of our current staff (excluding the founder and director), I've been there alone the most.

Technically nobody is supposed to be left there alone, but we're so understaffed and overworked, I can never bring myself to ask anyone to stay late on my behalf. Usually I'll call Nux to come wait with me, though I've still had times where I have to wait alone while he makes the trip. When that happens, the air seems heavier, the cats seem to jump around more restlessly, and the dogs will bark at nothing at all... It's easy to see things in the dark, or to hear weird noises. But sometimes the noises make no sense, even when I factor in loneliness and paranoia: doors opening, human feet (with shoes) shuffling, banging sounds from other rooms, and things like that. I never notice any doors left open that corroborate the sound, the shuffling tends to happen when I'm still, and I never see things that have fallen over when I go to look. I'm always on high alert when I'm alone, but I hardly ever see anything that confirms the noises I hear. Maybe just my imagination? Who knows. But there've been two incidents beyond this that I can't find any explanation for.

The first happened recently. There's a blind corner in our laundry room area, right by a mop sink and a wide utility sink where we wash cat litter scoops. A narrow hall with a sharp right turn, if you're heading to the back where we keep cleaning supplies and animal food; I walk this way a lot. Once, I thought there was a reflection in my glasses--the kind you get sometimes when there's something behind you--only there was absolutely no way what I saw could be behind me, or even in front. A large, brindle-colored, quadrupedal something... About the size of a golden retriever, or other medium-large dog. I had only the barest impression of it, and it was gone, before I even fully processed it; I didn't even stop walking until about 3 seconds after it registered in my brain. There was nobody else around at the time, no dogs loose, no people. It looked faint enough to be a reflection, but there was no trace of anything behind or in front of me. I have no explanation for it... I don't think we even had any dogs that looked like that at the time.

The second happened last year, it still makes me uneasy when I think about it. (Probably because it was during the daytime, when things are too busy to be spooky) We had a feral cat escape in our overflow room, he had gotten himself wedged in the tightest corner possible, inside a hole in the wall underneath some cages. Two of my coworkers were trying to net him, but he was just way too hard to reach, and they had to wiggle under the cage and pull him out with thick leather gloves. Naturally, I was working on the corner cage right where they were wiggling, so I figured I'd come back later when they were done.

When I came back the cat had been caught and all seemed well, until I noticed the blood. On the floor right where they had been, there was a broken cat toy: one of those cheap plastic jingling balls. It was crushed--like someone had stepped on it or squeezed it hard in their fist--and it was sitting cleanly in a small pool of very fresh, very red blood. (Trust me, I know blood when I see it at this point) It was probably only a few mililiters--a puddle no bigger than a dollar bill--but that's a lot for a cat. So of course, I was worried that the cat had gotten hurt somehow and I looked him over immediately: totally clean. Maybe a bit dusty and ruffled from his experience, but no blood from his mouth, and no open wounds. There wasn't even any blood in his cage, or anywhere else on the floor: the blood was pooled so neatly, there were no smears or drag marks that there would have been if it had come while they were pulling him out. My coworkers didn't have any bites on their hands or arms, and there was enough blood there that I don't think they'd lie about being bitten, and they're not the kind of people to pull any practical jokes. None of the other cats in the room showed any signs of being the mysterious bleeder either, and we looked over all of them very thoroughly. Nobody I've told this story to so far has any explanation, and I sure can't think of one either... I don't know if I WANT to know, either!

So there you have it! Probably a bit lame as far as scary halloween stories go... But, it's what I got! Do you have any personal scary stories, work related or otherwise? Hit me with em, I love gettin spooked

Hope you're well, and thanks for readin B:

I do love fall, it's been nice to enjoy the weather and the atmosphere! However, I've just come down sick after working 3 doubles in a row, bahhhhh. Shit sucks, bruh

artblock artblock artblock, you've heard the story from me before. Blah blah depressed, blah blah, creatively bankrupt, blah blah, boohoo. It jut happens sometimes. I've been working on a few things here and there, trying to mentally recover. Hope I can get more art for ya soon, friends

But, hearing about the new features on picarto has made me interested in trying to stream again... And the fact that I still CAN draw even though I don't really know WHAT I WANT to draw is at least promising. But, my internet connection is total ass lately, so that wouldn't really work until we fix whatever the problem is :< But hey, maybe I'll open up some donations to fund a membership and start multistreaming again when the bullshit stops, who knows

Are you excited for the pokemon news in a few hours? I know I sure am! oboyoboy

Just a brief expression of emotions, to get it off my chest.

this week I took home a kitten from my job for a short fostering. She had a serious brain/spinal cord injury that left her ataxic (unable to control her movements) and unable to take care of herself. She had been in foster care with someone else, and due to circumstances I don't entirely understand, her other fosters neglected to inform us of her accident until 3 weeks after the fact. They mentioned it casually, like it was no big deal she couldn't walk anymore. "Oh, she nearly died and suffered severe brain damage." Just, a passing thing to mention when they brought her and her siblings in for deworming treatment.

she had been losing weight, and was not able to roam freely without risk of hurting herself. She spent most of her time in a large carrier with lots of soft bedding and a toy, being cared for by our staff. Despite that, she was a very happy and cheerful kitten, and she won many of our hearts at the animal shelter. Due to my experience with Papyrus, I volunteered to try to work with her, and to give her a comfortable last few days before she would be euthanized. I did my part. I had a lot of help, but I did my best and made sure she was as happy and comfortable as possible.

Naturally, I'm sad. I was hoping we could save her, but I knew it was unlikely. She went very peacefully, and had a day and a half of incessant cuddling, petting, playing, and all the food she could eat. I took her outside to see the grass and the sky, I helped her play with my cats and other foster kitten, and I cared for her as best I knew how.

Carolyn, knowing you was a treat. I'm sorry that people didn't know how to treat you.

I'm going to be working a lot this week... Like a lot a lot. We're talking 11 shifts, alot (one day off, thanks to a day with 3 shifts crammed in) and a work environment that gets more stressful every day. Even though the shifts are often short (between 2 and 7 hours), they're pretty taxing, at least for me. There's a reason I can get done in 2 hours, and it's because I never take breaks and I do my best to be efficient!

so, please don't be worried if I don't talk much or haven't replied to messages and comments

I'm just really busy and a bit stressed, and I apologize for my distance... just trying to soothe my stress with art and relaxation when I'm home

Just trying to do all I can to avoid stressful situations for now, hoping that things at work calm down soon so I can get back to normal

or something like it

https://gyazo.com/86832defb28eb678dedbbfdb23794dcb

I have no life

Maybe I should do a 15000 pageview kiriban or something...

Do people even do kiribans anymore?