Bored so bored, and since I had time I looked up 15 dating questions to answer for lols. please note I am not looking for another mate. after..well that's not important. so here is the Dragon you all don't know. this isn't funny this is Honesty. I know you won't like what you read so don't read on if you don't want to know my pain...

1. Who has been the biggest influence in your life?
Mother, and David. they broke me. they killed the happy child. they made me what I am. and now no one can look at me because I am a broken mess. I can't see myself in a good light. anything I do I know i will fail at.

2. What kinds of things really make you laugh?
Laughter can't save me. it doesn't touch me anymore.

3. What’s your favorite place in the entire world?
The dark spaces hidden from the world. where I can cry as loud as I want and not hurt another living being.

4. Who is your best friend? What do you like about him/her?
I have Several, and I'm not saying why I like them or who they are. they know who they are.

5. Favorite movie of all time? Why so?
Dragonheart, It summarizes my life perfectly. just waiting to go the the stars myself. though I probably won't.

6. What’s your biggest goal in life right now?
To sleep and never wake up. all other goals and dreams died a long time ago.

7. What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday?
Curled up in a corner pretending to be happy while gaming with my friends. while all the while hiding inside myself crying as I know that they can't tell what a mess I am and while it hurts it means alow to me to see them happy so I say nothing.

8. Do you have any pet peeves?
Liars.

9. What was your family like growing up?
Broken, My father wasn't around much. my mother ignored me, my stepfather abused me, my brother had everything he ever wanted, and my sister escaped and left me behind.

10. What were you like as a kid?
That person died a long time ago.

11. What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?
Nothing, I'm not important. Only others are important.

12. Did you—or do you—have a nickname? What’s the story behind it?
I have Several Nicknames, all of which are just shortened version sof the many names I have.

13. Who was your favorite schoolteacher or college professor? Why?
Ms. Moore, She taught me the basics of Art and how to express myself without giving anything away.

14. Have you figured out your calling in life? What is it?
To be Everyone's Punching bag. To make others happy but never be happy myself.

15. What do you hate most about the dating process?
False Hope.

I've been asked before why I don't have one. here is why. I don't feel that my art is worth the exclusive postings for Patreon. I had thought of maybe once I hammer out the lore behind Shade's world and how things work I would make a patreon that would allow interactions between other characters. but I don't think it would be worth anything.

"what makes a man a man?" is it his appearance? his biology? no it is his instinct and his mind and the power source that runs it all. but what of those that have the same biology but has something more to them? what of those who can recall things that no living being should? what about those who are so old in spirit that they are wise from a young age? here is the truth that so many scientists want to deny.

Your biology doesn't make you what you are. it doesn't determine your mind, your needs, your gender or orientation. it doesn't even decide your species. while a body may be considered "Human" there are other forces that determine what you really are.

through out the ages many stories have been told some of which span the globe in ways that don't add up. stories of dragons, gods that came from the heavens. serpents that gifted man with knowledge or as Christianity calls it "the original sin" even stories of great beasts that scorch the earth with their breath. but ask yourselves this.

Who wrote these stories? Men. Women. Humans. the world the exists now exists to serve man because they built the world into a thing that favors them. those beasts? they still exist. but they don't act the same as in the tales. because it is a humans world. humans poison the lands we live on. taint the water we drink. contaminate the air we breath.

But we survive. why? because we are older then they are. we know how to adapt to climates much worse then what we are experiencing now. humans won't kills us off. they will kill themselves. We exist under the radar because Humans with their limited understanding of the world choose to believe that we can't possibly exist.

Children of night, Flame, Water, Earth, and the sun. along with others exist in this world. we choose to masquerade our identities by acting human but we aren't. it is a crime to have to hide ourselves for fear of being called crazy. For knowing what we truly are. It is a crime that if we talk to what humans call "Professional Healers" or "Doctors" they would mark us down as delusional. so why hide behind the mask of humanity.

We aren't much different. we want similar things out of life. Love, Comfort, Peace. but because of you humans we are forced to hide. no what makes use different is our power source. what you humans call a "Soul."

Souls don't die they are pure energy, and while science is correct in saying energy never dies. it doesn't always change form either. a human soul can revert to a lesser stage. or progress to a greater stage. but that is a human soul. not all souls are human.

I am of course speaking of the otherkin. those born with a human biology but possess something greater then a human soul. the soul of on of the other citizens of this world. sadly as I have said most would rather believe that this is a delusion. that we can't possibly be something other then human because of Biology,

we look human sound human but not all of us act human. in fact some of us are smarter. then other. some of us have "true sight" the ability to see the truth of the world. I was born with "True Sight" and while some have picked up on it they mistake it as something else. I have hidden it away from everyone because talk of such things lead to me being hurt by many people.

we aren't delusional we are just different. we aren't human but are born so. just like a man can be born a women. or a women can love another women. so too can a dragon or wolf be born human. we exist. stop pushing us into the shadows. stop disregarding us as "myth" stop calling us insane. because all we want is acceptance.

But then I am sure many who read this will disregard my words as someone who has lost touch with "Reality" but the fact is. I'm the one who is really living in reality. your the ones who have lost touch with it. wake up dreamers. see the truth. for before long your dream will become a nightmare. and even us otherkin can't help you when the nightmare begins.

It was dark. the dim lights above not giving much to see by. he walks down a long hall following the banging sounds he had been called in about. the night watch had been too creeped out to investigate themselves after discovering that the cameras in the area weren't work. he opens the double doors and frowns. the assembly line was running. odd as it had been shut down years ago and hasn't run since. he walks over to the controls and see's that they are damaged and connot be use to turn it off. long claw marks dug into the metal.
the hairs on his neck stand up as he gets the age old feeling of being watched and he remembers why this line had been decommissioned. the death of that poor kid who had been crushed by the hammers that are used to flatten scrap metal. scanning the dark room he feels his heart stop. there behind one of the metal cabinets that had housed the workers coveralls was a single unblinking staring eye illuminated from behind. the shadows cast the rest of the figure into shadow. gripped by terror he makes a run for it running for the doors. behind him he hears a loud screech of metal against metal.
He looks back to see that the eyes were following him in the darkness. the lights behind him going out one after another as the figure approaches slowly. terror the likes of which he had never known fills his heart as he realizes that he had run past the exit and to the doors of the old storage room. the storage room which had no alternative exit. he faces the thing once more the screeching getting louder and louder sparks flying from the walls as it approaches slowly.
The thing is so close now that he can make out a figure it's glowing eyes seem to be dripping in a red substance. finally he can see it clearly. a large metallic figure in the shape of a red dragon. it's mouth stuck in a crazed grin it's fake skin peeling and heavily damaged. it's teeth not the flat rubber ones used for the other animatronics built in the facility but sharp serrated metal. the source of the scratching becomes clear as well as he see's it's hands which hold blades at the tips of the metal fingers. the metal rusted and coated in the same red fluid that runs from it's eyes. it reaches for him as he slides up against the wall his eyes wide in terror.
He was never found. the only clue to his disappearance being the red stains left behind by his attacker. the stains that turned out to be blood. the creepy part about the blood was there was two types of blood. One belonging to the missing day guard. the other of the child that had been killed years earlier. Belikr Darkscale.

((meh did this for fun I know it's bad and really short don't judge.))

to many people have faved my streaming icon so I would like to remind everyone. STREAM icons get taken down after the stream. that is all

I had a really bad dream so I'm just gonna write it out.

I was talking to my aunt and playing WoW. we decided to go get some tea (which is weird since i don't normally drink tea) and while we were there a Clock tower started chiming and the next thing I remember she is asking me is it gonna fall? and the whole clock tower falls to the ground still chiming. which wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't for some reason ontop of her house. we rush back to the house in time to see everyone is ok but the power from the top floor is fucked. we try to retrieve our laptops and shit. (Smart right?) but there is a loud zapping noise coming from her room so i go tot he basement to turn the power off get a small zap when i try to turn the power off so I pick up a rubber boot and pound on the switch until it goes to the position labeled back for some reason. the power stays on but it is safe now. I go upstairs and she is bringing down the laptops and I pile them on the cotch while she retrieves everything else. then I try to go to the room I was staying in to get my stuff but the debris from the clock tower was everywhere. the roof torn open where it had fallen. cut to some time later I think. and we are in a different building. and there is like ornate bars on the window. but when it get close to them they fall apart. and I almost fall out of the window. I walk up to my aunt and start making comments about how the place needs repairs. then i hear it. a disembodied voice that still gives me chills. "We are always here to listen to you, we are always here to listen to you, we are here fro you, your always hurting because your mother wants it so." I woke up with a start after that. I'm still waiting to be sure it was just a dream. because if I'm hearing voices like that it can't be good...

It was dark, and tight, something was wrong. Belikr tries to move but all movement meets a strong resistance and when tension was release his limbs snapped back into place. in the dark her hears a soothing voice. "don't fight your not going anywhere. not like that." the voice calls the weird substance clogging Bel's ears muffling it only a bit. suddenly he can feel a hand on his chest and a stinging pain. "relax this is for your own good after all you almost died fighting those bandits dear. sorry for the blindfold but it is best you don't see me for now." the voice says once more as bel feel the substance holding him retreat from his chest and he feels the hands applying something to the pain which numbs it. "but soon enough you will see me. but not this time. now go back to sleep." Belikr feels a haziness cloud his mind and before long he is asleep. when he next awakes he is laying on the floor covered in a red silk sheet his head resting on a pillow but the owner of the voice was nowhere to be seen...

been really freaking out for the last few days. I'm not alone....there is something following me. I have yet to see it face to face but I catch glimpses of it. I can't tell what it is but it's not human.

got a build up of images I want to do once I get home so on the off chance the list I made goes missing on my trip home I will be posting it here. large groups will be posted by project name.

1. Sergal Toy Image/TF For  Kirisha //started//
2. Snuff Tech Project //Started//
3. Shade Project //Hiatus//
4. Steel Pony //Restarted, Again//
5. Springtrapper //Colors//
6. Fnaf Afterdark //half done//
7.Changeling Hive //Hiatus//
8. Koopa Corp. //Hiatus//

This will be completed depending on my inspiration at the time. the biggest priority I have right now is the Sergal toy image as I have been working on that for a long time now. I have some personal images I'm doing to but I will leave that off this list as details have not been completely ironed out.

so looks like I will be heading home tomorrow instead. I got all the way to halifax just to find out that the shuttle I was suppose to be taking today went to truro without me. so now I need to book it for tomorrow and find a way to get back to halifax

gonna be doing some Dead By Daylight stuffs in the next couple days o.=.o mostly my own variation of the Trapper. just a heads up for those who might find it gruesome.