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Last day of freedom
Posted 8 years agoAll of this years work has finally culminated in the outcome I had hoped for, hell maybe even better than I had hoped, potentially!
Tomorrow I start at a local Honda dealership, the same one I did my work experience at, which is one hell of a surprise! When I was there I knew there was like 0% chance I was gonna get in, they were fully staffed with long term guys. But I guess someone moved on to a different place or something cause a spot did open up. This is actually pretty awesome cause for the last month I was feeling jealous of classmates who snagged a job straight outta their work exp/ co-op placements and meanwhile I didn't.
I actually was kind of stressed cause I had to chose between Honda and another small shop, both had their pros and cons, but the one con that Honda had we actually worked out so I am very happy about that. When I went to call the other shop to let them know I wasn't gonna take them up on their offer, and essentially apologize for not letting them know sooner, by the time I was just breaking the news the dude goes "So you are bailing on me" and hangs up on me as I was talking. So I feel like I made the right choice now if he was that snippy when someone was trying to do the right thing and not leave someone hanging.
Now what does this all mean for me aside a job? Well I can start repaying my small student loan faster and sooner. I don't have to drive far at all for work, so that should mean I got a lill more evening free time in which I still am gonna do art (as thats my main furry passion) so it should be business as usual, but with a decent job and money!
Tomorrow I start at a local Honda dealership, the same one I did my work experience at, which is one hell of a surprise! When I was there I knew there was like 0% chance I was gonna get in, they were fully staffed with long term guys. But I guess someone moved on to a different place or something cause a spot did open up. This is actually pretty awesome cause for the last month I was feeling jealous of classmates who snagged a job straight outta their work exp/ co-op placements and meanwhile I didn't.
I actually was kind of stressed cause I had to chose between Honda and another small shop, both had their pros and cons, but the one con that Honda had we actually worked out so I am very happy about that. When I went to call the other shop to let them know I wasn't gonna take them up on their offer, and essentially apologize for not letting them know sooner, by the time I was just breaking the news the dude goes "So you are bailing on me" and hangs up on me as I was talking. So I feel like I made the right choice now if he was that snippy when someone was trying to do the right thing and not leave someone hanging.
Now what does this all mean for me aside a job? Well I can start repaying my small student loan faster and sooner. I don't have to drive far at all for work, so that should mean I got a lill more evening free time in which I still am gonna do art (as thats my main furry passion) so it should be business as usual, but with a decent job and money!
It is done! School that is
Posted 8 years agoAfter 10 lengthy months I am finally done my automotive course! When I first got into it I wasn't sure how I was gonna do since it had been literally 10 years since graduating high-school and many "wise people" of my past loved to insist that if you hadn't figured your life out by the time you graduated high-school that you were fucked for life.
I guess they never understood the concept that you never stop learning in life, cause I fucking annihilated that course! Starting off the mentality was "just pass it, get your certificate" but I quickly started to realize that I was getting into the swing and workload of the course quite easily and before I knew it I was in the top 3 people of my class and sometimes even getting the highest scores on some of the tests. Flash forward to the last week here and I had just finished my ITA exam (the one to actually get you officially certified) and I managed to get 90% on it. A test that in our school had an average 85% pass rate, but provincially had more like a 40-50% pass rate. So woooh for kicking the shit outta not just the average, but also the passing mark!
But tooting my own horn aside, I enjoyed most of my time there. The classmates I had were for the most part pretty awesome and were what I needed in a time where my involvement with furries felt more like a social chore that just wasn't enjoyable, I would go into more detail but all I can say is, there were just none of that socially manipulative/ toxic shit going on. People were genuinely helpful, worked together and had a good sense of humor, man that was a refreshing change of pace! I think I am gonna miss that, maybe even a lot.
But hey, now that I am sitting here on the other side of the finish line, the only lill quest left for me is finding a job, and in the mean time enjoy the summer I worked so hard towards ^.=.^
I guess they never understood the concept that you never stop learning in life, cause I fucking annihilated that course! Starting off the mentality was "just pass it, get your certificate" but I quickly started to realize that I was getting into the swing and workload of the course quite easily and before I knew it I was in the top 3 people of my class and sometimes even getting the highest scores on some of the tests. Flash forward to the last week here and I had just finished my ITA exam (the one to actually get you officially certified) and I managed to get 90% on it. A test that in our school had an average 85% pass rate, but provincially had more like a 40-50% pass rate. So woooh for kicking the shit outta not just the average, but also the passing mark!
But tooting my own horn aside, I enjoyed most of my time there. The classmates I had were for the most part pretty awesome and were what I needed in a time where my involvement with furries felt more like a social chore that just wasn't enjoyable, I would go into more detail but all I can say is, there were just none of that socially manipulative/ toxic shit going on. People were genuinely helpful, worked together and had a good sense of humor, man that was a refreshing change of pace! I think I am gonna miss that, maybe even a lot.
But hey, now that I am sitting here on the other side of the finish line, the only lill quest left for me is finding a job, and in the mean time enjoy the summer I worked so hard towards ^.=.^
29yr old dragon, a look at things.
Posted 8 years agoLike that, another year around the sun and another year older. Its kind of a weird one cause this is the last year of being in my 20s and I sure as shit have been feeling it more than I would like to!
This year shall prove to be a big one if all works out as planned, school has gone incredibly well, had you told me I was gonna not only be in school but holding some of the highest marks of everyone in that course this time last year, I would have told ya to find something a lill more funny to joke about. But here I am and the facts speak for themselves.
I aint 100% sure what this all will mean in the end aside the potential to land a decent job and make respectable money. I swore to myself I would not turn into one of those boring, lets talk about our jobs over some coffee, type furries... But so far I have really dug the stuff I do, using my claws to fix things instead of just playing Mr Install Wizzard for old women is a nice change of pace. But I feel that life pressure none the less.
The downside here is my passion for the fandom has taken a lotta hits over the years and I find myself enjoying it less and less because what its become socially. Those who know me well know this entire topic already but, as of the last few years it feels like all that really drives me is the fact I got a rooted identity in my draconity and my art and a little bit in my sexuality. All of which have allowed me to express myself and were the biggest things I reveled in. But what I have come to realize is I expected too much out of the fandom for what it really was. As I get older this only seems to get worse because it was like I was expecting the fandom to grow with me, but the fandom is ageless its always been teenager and early 20s paradise. I just fell outta the bracket through the course of time. My old-ways otherkin and furry identifiers are not something that's widely shared anymore and the people I do find who I really relate to and enjoy the most are usually not in the fray of the mainstream fandom. I often feel like I know the cheat codes to being popular in this era of the fandom, but I am far too stubborn to use them to my advantage because it feels like a gross betrayal of myself and what I actually am inside. So that being said, I think I might just do what I do, ART! So lovers of all things draconic and adult do not despair!
Jesus shit, that was a big load of brain dumping for a birthday update journal
This year shall prove to be a big one if all works out as planned, school has gone incredibly well, had you told me I was gonna not only be in school but holding some of the highest marks of everyone in that course this time last year, I would have told ya to find something a lill more funny to joke about. But here I am and the facts speak for themselves.
I aint 100% sure what this all will mean in the end aside the potential to land a decent job and make respectable money. I swore to myself I would not turn into one of those boring, lets talk about our jobs over some coffee, type furries... But so far I have really dug the stuff I do, using my claws to fix things instead of just playing Mr Install Wizzard for old women is a nice change of pace. But I feel that life pressure none the less.
The downside here is my passion for the fandom has taken a lotta hits over the years and I find myself enjoying it less and less because what its become socially. Those who know me well know this entire topic already but, as of the last few years it feels like all that really drives me is the fact I got a rooted identity in my draconity and my art and a little bit in my sexuality. All of which have allowed me to express myself and were the biggest things I reveled in. But what I have come to realize is I expected too much out of the fandom for what it really was. As I get older this only seems to get worse because it was like I was expecting the fandom to grow with me, but the fandom is ageless its always been teenager and early 20s paradise. I just fell outta the bracket through the course of time. My old-ways otherkin and furry identifiers are not something that's widely shared anymore and the people I do find who I really relate to and enjoy the most are usually not in the fray of the mainstream fandom. I often feel like I know the cheat codes to being popular in this era of the fandom, but I am far too stubborn to use them to my advantage because it feels like a gross betrayal of myself and what I actually am inside. So that being said, I think I might just do what I do, ART! So lovers of all things draconic and adult do not despair!
Jesus shit, that was a big load of brain dumping for a birthday update journal
Furry kink survey, doooo it!
Posted 9 years agoGo check it out! I always dig these kinda thing, anything that helps broaden the understanding of how the furry fandom operates and what its people are like are good in my books!
^.=.^
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1.....Q/formResponse
^.=.^
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1.....Q/formResponse
My thoughts on 2017
Posted 9 years agoAs we say goodbye to 2016, its not uncommon to hear "fuck this year" or "worse, year, ever!" followed up by some fluffy dreams of how 2017 is gonna be the year that set everything right in the world. Ahh yes!
But wait.. doesn't 2017 has the same cast of 7billion humans has 2016 did? Same for 2015..and 14.... oh fuck, its even got more pre-staged insanity!
Before ya'll run off for the hills or *gag* safe spaces, listen up! Yes there are some things out of our control in this world, Trump being President, a shitty Canadian dollar, the ever socially regressive march of the "feelings before facts" groups/ SJW furries *dies inside*. But you know what you can control? Your own slice of the world.
Yes, you got the ability to go out, meet new people, try new things, improve upon your various skills and hobbies. Hey you can even go around and have all the crazy, furry sex you like! Or if you are not as outgoing and like to sit in your cave most of the day as I do, maybe make a new years promise to spend less time in online areas that only stress you out and piss you off... aaand jerk off a bit more creatively. The point is that 2017 will only ever be as great as you try and make it and the less you try, the more of a "2016 part 2" you may have and from what I can tell about the world today no one wants more of that, I think?
Wingfire out!
But wait.. doesn't 2017 has the same cast of 7billion humans has 2016 did? Same for 2015..and 14.... oh fuck, its even got more pre-staged insanity!
Before ya'll run off for the hills or *gag* safe spaces, listen up! Yes there are some things out of our control in this world, Trump being President, a shitty Canadian dollar, the ever socially regressive march of the "feelings before facts" groups/ SJW furries *dies inside*. But you know what you can control? Your own slice of the world.
Yes, you got the ability to go out, meet new people, try new things, improve upon your various skills and hobbies. Hey you can even go around and have all the crazy, furry sex you like! Or if you are not as outgoing and like to sit in your cave most of the day as I do, maybe make a new years promise to spend less time in online areas that only stress you out and piss you off... aaand jerk off a bit more creatively. The point is that 2017 will only ever be as great as you try and make it and the less you try, the more of a "2016 part 2" you may have and from what I can tell about the world today no one wants more of that, I think?
Wingfire out!
Gallery nuke and dumpers
Posted 9 years agoI am just gonna make it a point to un-watch people who feel the need to nuke and re-upload their entire galleries on FA. Their desperation to milk for some extra faves and comments gets to be just annoying spam after the 20th picture. It sorta sucks cause they usually make or in most cases, commission lots of nice art.. but that's often spoiled for me by the fact they are that need to be noticed so badly that they will nuke an entire gallery and re-upload it over a single day. Its just needy as fuck and really off-putting.
Guess that's just another symptom of furry web-sights that have stats indicators, people become a bit too concerned with their numbers. I'll admit I feel a bit giddy when I see a picture of mine has done really well, but once that pic is posted, its done, there is no "now back for the 3rd time in two years for your enjoyment once more!" as if, just in-case you were too stupid to realize FA has a gallery feature that allows you to see all the art one has on their account.
Guess that's just another symptom of furry web-sights that have stats indicators, people become a bit too concerned with their numbers. I'll admit I feel a bit giddy when I see a picture of mine has done really well, but once that pic is posted, its done, there is no "now back for the 3rd time in two years for your enjoyment once more!" as if, just in-case you were too stupid to realize FA has a gallery feature that allows you to see all the art one has on their account.
The last month (school mostly)
Posted 9 years agoI sure seem to do a good few of these "hey guuuys life update here" type journals.... This one is no different! :D
So I started school at the start of September, not really knowing what to expect aside a few friends giving me snippets of their general experiences. My last post-secondary experience having been slightly traumatic due to being young and also thrown into a rather intensive course.
So far though... I am blazing it, we are a month in, my grades are consistently in the high 80s to even 100% on a few assignments and tests so far. Suffice to say I am feeling a lot more confident in things and this massive change of direction in life. 9 more months and one exam later and I will be about half way into my first level of apprenticeship, and more than a few steps into a far more stable and money-having life (not that I really had a saving problem to begin with haha).
Its a huge change from the IT work I did, but I am really glad I got out of that field.. Trying hard not to rub anyone the wrong way saying this but, man I was feeling like IT was the stereotypical furry and even dragonkin kinda job to get into since I know so many people who did it or are currently doing it. That gave me a lot of insight into how competitive that sort of job market would be, and also a glimpse up the ladder to see that most people who made decent money also got stuck with a lotta desk-job work, the one thing I really hate in any line of work. I might be a bit nerdy as all people in the fandom are, but I found myself losing interest fast because so many things just killed that type of work for me.
I don't need to get into talk about my old job though cause it can be summed up as: Cunts, micromanaging, low wages, overworked.
So far I am actually enjoying the course I am in, lotta hands on work, the actual study end is mostly practical, workplace math, measurements, tool types, metal properties, that kind of stuff! The guys I work with are all pretty decent, even the ones I started off thinking were a tad wanker-ish still turned out to be serious about the course and respectful of peoples stuff and space, and they still got a great sense of humor. (doesn't bode well for my already low opinions on general "real" society being full of thought lacking, low-function, useless people).
So for now, that is all, Wingfire out!
So I started school at the start of September, not really knowing what to expect aside a few friends giving me snippets of their general experiences. My last post-secondary experience having been slightly traumatic due to being young and also thrown into a rather intensive course.
So far though... I am blazing it, we are a month in, my grades are consistently in the high 80s to even 100% on a few assignments and tests so far. Suffice to say I am feeling a lot more confident in things and this massive change of direction in life. 9 more months and one exam later and I will be about half way into my first level of apprenticeship, and more than a few steps into a far more stable and money-having life (not that I really had a saving problem to begin with haha).
Its a huge change from the IT work I did, but I am really glad I got out of that field.. Trying hard not to rub anyone the wrong way saying this but, man I was feeling like IT was the stereotypical furry and even dragonkin kinda job to get into since I know so many people who did it or are currently doing it. That gave me a lot of insight into how competitive that sort of job market would be, and also a glimpse up the ladder to see that most people who made decent money also got stuck with a lotta desk-job work, the one thing I really hate in any line of work. I might be a bit nerdy as all people in the fandom are, but I found myself losing interest fast because so many things just killed that type of work for me.
I don't need to get into talk about my old job though cause it can be summed up as: Cunts, micromanaging, low wages, overworked.
So far I am actually enjoying the course I am in, lotta hands on work, the actual study end is mostly practical, workplace math, measurements, tool types, metal properties, that kind of stuff! The guys I work with are all pretty decent, even the ones I started off thinking were a tad wanker-ish still turned out to be serious about the course and respectful of peoples stuff and space, and they still got a great sense of humor. (doesn't bode well for my already low opinions on general "real" society being full of thought lacking, low-function, useless people).
So for now, that is all, Wingfire out!
Damnit FA, why you do that
Posted 9 years agoLast journal accidentally had comments disabled on it... *face paw* was wondering why it was so quiet.
The super life update! (important news)
Posted 9 years agoA major life update for this dragon.. Also a little wordy!
Going back to school! I know its a pretty common thing that many people say around this time of year since everyone needs to try and pursue a decent life and a living.
Its been a long road since my last time being in school, I graduated highschool in 2006 and around 2007 I tried some post-secondary education and quickly had a series of small panic attacks and bad anxiety. Even speaking right now I am excited and slightly unsettled, but after the last 10 years I realized I have been running in circles and doing myself a real poor turn.. A quick run down could be explained like this.
First job: Bakery, just a nobody kid who made next to nothing.
Second job: Call center. didn't last long cause dealing with irate people isn't my best suit.
Third job: Bakery again, making meh wage and being lorded over by a fem manager who had a chip on her shoulder and told male staff they didn't have the same right to talk as female staff. :P
Fourth job: My first IT job, the biggest fuck up for me since I assumed working full time and being dedicated meant you could have that job for ever and not be fired for nothing. I got layed off and it destroyed me cause I sacrificed a lot in life to try and be "professional" and a good employee only to find out you can get fucked for any reason at any time. That changed my outlook on work ever since.
Fifth job: Walmart, yeah that was a lame job and I didn't give many fucks cause as usual... low level management with power tripping issues thinking they can intimidate people, its the same game I already saw multiple times before and I wasn't buying any of it.
Sixth job: Car dealership, didn't mind the work, but staff there all had this "we are old, you are young, you cater to all of us" mentality that pissed me off and stressed me out, also yay for the emergence of my OCD stress ticks I get still.
Seventh job: My second and most recent job, working IT yet again, small company with a boss who didn't like conflict and let two older women run everything and they were both like these 2.5th wave feminist types who talked a lot about being important and congratulated themselves a lot while being rude and shit to anything with a penis because reverse sexism isn't a thing when you live with blinders on. All in all it was a okay job with shitty management and now the business is going under, I guess they can ride the pride train right off the cliff while still blaming everyone else. I wont miss being the backbone of a place that didn't understand the basics of human decency.
So now that that's all explained... Since I got the layoff from that last place and they are going down the shitter... it gave me a whole summer to think about things, namely my direction in life and also get very irritated with what I have been allowing to happen to myself. Namely doing shit tons of work and even specialized skill work for people and places who pay shit and treat people like shit. So to that life I say a mighty big "Fuck yourself!" cause I just won't be playing along.
This is the first and biggest step to working for a better life, hopefully when I reach this time next year I will be a month into an apprenticeship in auto mechanics and on my way to making decent money and having a more stable life! This also means the next year for me is gonna be an interesting one. Gonna be living with a relative up island, the schooling itself is full time, 4 days a week all the way till mid June... So I might be missing out on some conventions depending on how intensive it is. Art is gonna sadly slow down a lot for me, and thats probably the biggest thing I regret about this change of life. I love doing art even if I am not the fastest or super great at it!
More updates to come though!
Going back to school! I know its a pretty common thing that many people say around this time of year since everyone needs to try and pursue a decent life and a living.
Its been a long road since my last time being in school, I graduated highschool in 2006 and around 2007 I tried some post-secondary education and quickly had a series of small panic attacks and bad anxiety. Even speaking right now I am excited and slightly unsettled, but after the last 10 years I realized I have been running in circles and doing myself a real poor turn.. A quick run down could be explained like this.
First job: Bakery, just a nobody kid who made next to nothing.
Second job: Call center. didn't last long cause dealing with irate people isn't my best suit.
Third job: Bakery again, making meh wage and being lorded over by a fem manager who had a chip on her shoulder and told male staff they didn't have the same right to talk as female staff. :P
Fourth job: My first IT job, the biggest fuck up for me since I assumed working full time and being dedicated meant you could have that job for ever and not be fired for nothing. I got layed off and it destroyed me cause I sacrificed a lot in life to try and be "professional" and a good employee only to find out you can get fucked for any reason at any time. That changed my outlook on work ever since.
Fifth job: Walmart, yeah that was a lame job and I didn't give many fucks cause as usual... low level management with power tripping issues thinking they can intimidate people, its the same game I already saw multiple times before and I wasn't buying any of it.
Sixth job: Car dealership, didn't mind the work, but staff there all had this "we are old, you are young, you cater to all of us" mentality that pissed me off and stressed me out, also yay for the emergence of my OCD stress ticks I get still.
Seventh job: My second and most recent job, working IT yet again, small company with a boss who didn't like conflict and let two older women run everything and they were both like these 2.5th wave feminist types who talked a lot about being important and congratulated themselves a lot while being rude and shit to anything with a penis because reverse sexism isn't a thing when you live with blinders on. All in all it was a okay job with shitty management and now the business is going under, I guess they can ride the pride train right off the cliff while still blaming everyone else. I wont miss being the backbone of a place that didn't understand the basics of human decency.
So now that that's all explained... Since I got the layoff from that last place and they are going down the shitter... it gave me a whole summer to think about things, namely my direction in life and also get very irritated with what I have been allowing to happen to myself. Namely doing shit tons of work and even specialized skill work for people and places who pay shit and treat people like shit. So to that life I say a mighty big "Fuck yourself!" cause I just won't be playing along.
This is the first and biggest step to working for a better life, hopefully when I reach this time next year I will be a month into an apprenticeship in auto mechanics and on my way to making decent money and having a more stable life! This also means the next year for me is gonna be an interesting one. Gonna be living with a relative up island, the schooling itself is full time, 4 days a week all the way till mid June... So I might be missing out on some conventions depending on how intensive it is. Art is gonna sadly slow down a lot for me, and thats probably the biggest thing I regret about this change of life. I love doing art even if I am not the fastest or super great at it!
More updates to come though!
Powerlevel 20,0000!
Posted 9 years agoWoot, finally hit another land mark number. 20k Normally I am all against going on about faves, watches and page views because it seems egotistical but I will let myself have this one just cause its a one time thing, and it also marks 10 years on this sight. o.=.o!!
Big thank you to all my watchers and friends who follow me here on FA, I appreciate every comment and fave you guys have given me. Here is to the future! ^.=.^
Big thank you to all my watchers and friends who follow me here on FA, I appreciate every comment and fave you guys have given me. Here is to the future! ^.=.^
Furry Network account for the dragon!
Posted 9 years agoThis dragon has made a FN account, don't worry, I aint jumping ship just yet. I will continue to post here on FA for the foreseeable future but I would rather be safe than sorry. Expect to see both galleries updated regularly! ^.=.^
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/drake_wingfire/
https://beta.furrynetwork.com/drake_wingfire/
Thought on my place in the fandom
Posted 9 years agoI don't mean to make so many serious journals, I enjoy light and fluffy as much as anyone else but.
A thought has been occurring to me lately, my frustrations and depression about the status of things. My annoyance that so many events I go to have such a ridiculous level of drug frat-bro culture and less and less furry culture. I have been feeling more and more of an outsider in a fandom I have been a part of for nearly 15 years now and thats been chewing at me, because I want to really love this fandom, its a massive part of my life, hell I have passed the threshold in which I have been a dragon for more time than I have not been a dragon. O.=.o
It got me thinking on what I truly define myself by, like what am I passionate about in this fandom?
I consider myself rather "old-guard" furry (I don't bother with grey-muzzle cause I am not really that old, just a long time fur), someone from the day when everyone was trying to be an artist because art was the #1 way of furry expression, when fursuits were something rare and to be admired, not for the fact it said "Look, I got money" but "I feel this connected to my fursona". When the average furry was more nerdy and really passionate about their hobbies rather than how hard they partied and what drugs they took. Maybe I am just longing for a furry fandom that, to me, felt more in-touch with things that were furry.
As time goes on, I have slowly realized, I actually have very very few friends who are really that "generation" of furry (meaning long time furries, not older people who happen to be furries) locally I really only personally know like 3-4 artists, and a small handful that really are passionate about their fursona choice (spiritual or not) and treat it as a deeper part of them. These are two things I have always been wildly passionate about, are is about as furry-centric as anything else.
The dragon aspect for me has been there since day one, its the very core of who I am, but the downside is that I want to see out others who are like that, other dragons is awesome, but I am happy to meet furs who share that same sense of self. After all, if it wasn't for my dragon side, I would not be here and I probably wouldn't have the same self-exploring and introspective sense of self that I do today. For me there just is no magic button for fursona change or picking something that others would like more, because this is me.
Art, well hell that one is easy, in this fandom what better way to convey who and what you are than through art? Artistic types pour a lotta heart and passion into what they do, adult art and clean alike. We are a community founded upon original creators and thus I tend to hold that up on a pedestal and am always a little excited when I meet someone locally who does art or is even just trying to do art. Being an art consumer just hasn't held the same impact with me as being a art creator does.
SO! What am I really getting at here? In short, I want to find more furs who are artists and creators and are passionate about that side of the fandom.
A thought has been occurring to me lately, my frustrations and depression about the status of things. My annoyance that so many events I go to have such a ridiculous level of drug frat-bro culture and less and less furry culture. I have been feeling more and more of an outsider in a fandom I have been a part of for nearly 15 years now and thats been chewing at me, because I want to really love this fandom, its a massive part of my life, hell I have passed the threshold in which I have been a dragon for more time than I have not been a dragon. O.=.o
It got me thinking on what I truly define myself by, like what am I passionate about in this fandom?
I consider myself rather "old-guard" furry (I don't bother with grey-muzzle cause I am not really that old, just a long time fur), someone from the day when everyone was trying to be an artist because art was the #1 way of furry expression, when fursuits were something rare and to be admired, not for the fact it said "Look, I got money" but "I feel this connected to my fursona". When the average furry was more nerdy and really passionate about their hobbies rather than how hard they partied and what drugs they took. Maybe I am just longing for a furry fandom that, to me, felt more in-touch with things that were furry.
As time goes on, I have slowly realized, I actually have very very few friends who are really that "generation" of furry (meaning long time furries, not older people who happen to be furries) locally I really only personally know like 3-4 artists, and a small handful that really are passionate about their fursona choice (spiritual or not) and treat it as a deeper part of them. These are two things I have always been wildly passionate about, are is about as furry-centric as anything else.
The dragon aspect for me has been there since day one, its the very core of who I am, but the downside is that I want to see out others who are like that, other dragons is awesome, but I am happy to meet furs who share that same sense of self. After all, if it wasn't for my dragon side, I would not be here and I probably wouldn't have the same self-exploring and introspective sense of self that I do today. For me there just is no magic button for fursona change or picking something that others would like more, because this is me.
Art, well hell that one is easy, in this fandom what better way to convey who and what you are than through art? Artistic types pour a lotta heart and passion into what they do, adult art and clean alike. We are a community founded upon original creators and thus I tend to hold that up on a pedestal and am always a little excited when I meet someone locally who does art or is even just trying to do art. Being an art consumer just hasn't held the same impact with me as being a art creator does.
SO! What am I really getting at here? In short, I want to find more furs who are artists and creators and are passionate about that side of the fandom.
A little torn of the mind
Posted 9 years agoEvery time I hear of or see talk of new forums emerging or new chat groups, a small wave of dread washes over me..
My first thought is "oh hey, a big chance to start new and make a better impression upon people, maybe connect with some diamonds in the rough of these communities!". That thought is usually followed by a small feeling of anxiety over the same thing oddly enough due to how often that just doesn't happen.
A recent one came to my knowledge, a particular flavor of kin board, again my first thought was of how I could have a fresh start, meet new folk, different perspectives, etc etc. But without fail, every time I check these places out, its the same small handful of people just hovering from one place to the next, giving the same "I have been around for ever, validate me" introduction. I am not really ranting much here, more like just being the guy who is like "sooo I get to chose from either group A or.... group A again, the same group, sure there isn't like a group B?". I don't know how many more old-boys type clubs we really need. Especially cause its the old-boys that have often kept particular dogmas circulating in a much more modern and changing era that's lead to many ghost town forums and social groups for a great many reasons.
Just a thought from a dragon who has the "old fruit" badge but not the mentality.
My first thought is "oh hey, a big chance to start new and make a better impression upon people, maybe connect with some diamonds in the rough of these communities!". That thought is usually followed by a small feeling of anxiety over the same thing oddly enough due to how often that just doesn't happen.
A recent one came to my knowledge, a particular flavor of kin board, again my first thought was of how I could have a fresh start, meet new folk, different perspectives, etc etc. But without fail, every time I check these places out, its the same small handful of people just hovering from one place to the next, giving the same "I have been around for ever, validate me" introduction. I am not really ranting much here, more like just being the guy who is like "sooo I get to chose from either group A or.... group A again, the same group, sure there isn't like a group B?". I don't know how many more old-boys type clubs we really need. Especially cause its the old-boys that have often kept particular dogmas circulating in a much more modern and changing era that's lead to many ghost town forums and social groups for a great many reasons.
Just a thought from a dragon who has the "old fruit" badge but not the mentality.
Doing what a dragon has to do
Posted 9 years agoA bit of a odd title, yes, but I figured I would give a small life update here and an explanation to my reasoning.
I was going to give a long winded and erudite explanation to things here, but I will keep it short and to the point. I was trying a little too hard to try and be a more social-media relevant dragon and I feel like its only serving to distract me from more important things, as well as another way for me to feel a little too alone and ignored on a regular basis, I don't really like that I got lurkers, even more so when they are local folk, which surprise, feels more than a little weird for reasons. I would rather not keep continuing down that path where I let that get to me.
So rather than do the typical thing and give into posting pictures of food, name dropping friends and popufurs or waving around my fursuit to make me look like a big deal, I decided I would force myself into a bit of a hiatus. Spend a bit more time focusing on my art and making more time for old friends and those who I have been letting slip through the cracks in all this chaos. I feel that's a failure on my part to live up to my own code and ethics.
I could get into another long winded rant about how social media is just another "do it for the numbers" popularity contest, that I already have a FA page to look at when I want to stoke my dick and believe I am super important. But I will save that for non-public talks.
Rest assured I wont be stopping with my art, if anything this might give me more drive to do it. As well as those of you who have tried to talk to me, or who I have let slip through the cracks trying to talk to, I will try and be a bit better on making time for you all
I was going to give a long winded and erudite explanation to things here, but I will keep it short and to the point. I was trying a little too hard to try and be a more social-media relevant dragon and I feel like its only serving to distract me from more important things, as well as another way for me to feel a little too alone and ignored on a regular basis, I don't really like that I got lurkers, even more so when they are local folk, which surprise, feels more than a little weird for reasons. I would rather not keep continuing down that path where I let that get to me.
So rather than do the typical thing and give into posting pictures of food, name dropping friends and popufurs or waving around my fursuit to make me look like a big deal, I decided I would force myself into a bit of a hiatus. Spend a bit more time focusing on my art and making more time for old friends and those who I have been letting slip through the cracks in all this chaos. I feel that's a failure on my part to live up to my own code and ethics.
I could get into another long winded rant about how social media is just another "do it for the numbers" popularity contest, that I already have a FA page to look at when I want to stoke my dick and believe I am super important. But I will save that for non-public talks.
Rest assured I wont be stopping with my art, if anything this might give me more drive to do it. As well as those of you who have tried to talk to me, or who I have let slip through the cracks trying to talk to, I will try and be a bit better on making time for you all
Post RF report and life update (long post)
Posted 10 years agoIts been a while since I really updated on anything, seeing as I am home from RF and am winding down, may as well take a moment to do such.
RF I feel was part of what I needed as of late, a big furry nut house party full of energy and art and suits and porn and such. That being said, this year was still a bit more low-key for me, I spent much of my time seeking out only a small handful of furry and scaly friends and tried to get to know them better and really mingle rather than be Mr Party Dragon. Pretty much in line with how I have been for the last year. I really enjoyed myself in that regard, sitting with some chill friends talking and joking the night away aided by gin and whisky, perhaps a cuddle to two. Just that alone was what really made the con for me cause I have been dying for that kinda socializing and chillness.
I also got out and suited quite a bit, trying out some new wings I got which was more or less a trial run of their design. Picked up a few cool things at the dealers den but was kinda let down at the assortment of artists and vendors this year, seemed less than it usually is so I didn't actually buy a lot like I was expecting.
There were also some less than stellar happenings at the con, which honestly did leave me face palming at a particular demographic of furries and their supporters. I could say a LOT here, but I will simply say this.. Careful how hard you swing in a fight... you might just miss and in doing so damage the very thing you were trying to protect.
Now for my general life~~~~
As far as the furry scene goes, I have kinda scaled back on local-ish involvements. I had too many frustrations/disappointments that were getting the better of me and I kept feeling as if I had to constantly hide who I was. i was aware that the deeper dragon stuff would just never really be 100% accepted or understood (really rough since thats a nigh inseparable part of myself that I will not throw away for 15 mins of popularity), but by the time it started reaching the level that even the watered down Furry-Drake was becoming too extreme of a person to be.. I had to bail for the sake of my sanity.
This time has also been taken as a moment to try and re-invent myself and figure out where I progress from here in this massive social melting pot of furries, otherkin, fans, party bros, and weekenders. The over sexual reputation isn't serving me like it use to and while I do what I do and like what I like. I take no pleasure in being the scapegoat or strawman of prudish types who need someone to take shots at. I kind of see this as a mistake on my part, being too open around the wrong kind of people and leaving myself too open because I wanted to try and be likable. Not saying I am gonna embrace "furry-death" (being who I am I am gonna take a leap here and say that is impossible) but its gonna be a while to find my new balance and if that balance keeps me in this same social boat, of if I simply start retracing my roots and spend more time focusing on the things that are deeply important to me. Things that are not cheap and fleeting.
Health wise I have been on and off some workout routines and trying various supplements.. Frankly this IT job is kicking my ass in terms of any physical activity and even trying to be conscience of what I eat at work hasn't helped much cause my home life is kinda scattered. Combine that with some knee injuries and you got one dragon who is having a difficult time trying to keep decently active. I gotta try and commit to something diet and exercise wise. Been thinking about breakfast shakes, daily walks and weight lifting routines, but I am one of those guys who tends to need encouragement to do said things. >.=.>
As for the rest like art, games, spirituality, work etc. They have all been going honestly fairly steads, work is so-so, will see where that goes in the next year honestly, and if I wanna be IT for the long haul. Art, now that ones been a bit more interesting since my style change! Its seemed to get a bit more notice than usual which kinda helps with not feeling totally ignored on it. Plus! My art actually made it into a scalies panel at RF, I was super stoked over that! ^.=.^ . Regarding spirituality, well my time alone has been more spent in meditation and really journaling a lotta things, thoughts and feelings I have had regarding more personal things. Kinda like making my own road map of where I am been, what I am doing and where I want to be. I have been seeking out the better of the dragons I know in this regard to kinda keep me on track, hold me to my words, and lend an ear and a voice on such deeper and more personal matters. I can't say I am where I want to be right now, but I feel I am progressing towards being more of the real me, and the support and understanding of those close to me means a lot over these last years. You know who you are and I thank you for all our talks and our hangouts and even just having a couple drinks and a good ol time! ^.=.^
Wingfire out!
RF I feel was part of what I needed as of late, a big furry nut house party full of energy and art and suits and porn and such. That being said, this year was still a bit more low-key for me, I spent much of my time seeking out only a small handful of furry and scaly friends and tried to get to know them better and really mingle rather than be Mr Party Dragon. Pretty much in line with how I have been for the last year. I really enjoyed myself in that regard, sitting with some chill friends talking and joking the night away aided by gin and whisky, perhaps a cuddle to two. Just that alone was what really made the con for me cause I have been dying for that kinda socializing and chillness.
I also got out and suited quite a bit, trying out some new wings I got which was more or less a trial run of their design. Picked up a few cool things at the dealers den but was kinda let down at the assortment of artists and vendors this year, seemed less than it usually is so I didn't actually buy a lot like I was expecting.
There were also some less than stellar happenings at the con, which honestly did leave me face palming at a particular demographic of furries and their supporters. I could say a LOT here, but I will simply say this.. Careful how hard you swing in a fight... you might just miss and in doing so damage the very thing you were trying to protect.
Now for my general life~~~~
As far as the furry scene goes, I have kinda scaled back on local-ish involvements. I had too many frustrations/disappointments that were getting the better of me and I kept feeling as if I had to constantly hide who I was. i was aware that the deeper dragon stuff would just never really be 100% accepted or understood (really rough since thats a nigh inseparable part of myself that I will not throw away for 15 mins of popularity), but by the time it started reaching the level that even the watered down Furry-Drake was becoming too extreme of a person to be.. I had to bail for the sake of my sanity.
This time has also been taken as a moment to try and re-invent myself and figure out where I progress from here in this massive social melting pot of furries, otherkin, fans, party bros, and weekenders. The over sexual reputation isn't serving me like it use to and while I do what I do and like what I like. I take no pleasure in being the scapegoat or strawman of prudish types who need someone to take shots at. I kind of see this as a mistake on my part, being too open around the wrong kind of people and leaving myself too open because I wanted to try and be likable. Not saying I am gonna embrace "furry-death" (being who I am I am gonna take a leap here and say that is impossible) but its gonna be a while to find my new balance and if that balance keeps me in this same social boat, of if I simply start retracing my roots and spend more time focusing on the things that are deeply important to me. Things that are not cheap and fleeting.
Health wise I have been on and off some workout routines and trying various supplements.. Frankly this IT job is kicking my ass in terms of any physical activity and even trying to be conscience of what I eat at work hasn't helped much cause my home life is kinda scattered. Combine that with some knee injuries and you got one dragon who is having a difficult time trying to keep decently active. I gotta try and commit to something diet and exercise wise. Been thinking about breakfast shakes, daily walks and weight lifting routines, but I am one of those guys who tends to need encouragement to do said things. >.=.>
As for the rest like art, games, spirituality, work etc. They have all been going honestly fairly steads, work is so-so, will see where that goes in the next year honestly, and if I wanna be IT for the long haul. Art, now that ones been a bit more interesting since my style change! Its seemed to get a bit more notice than usual which kinda helps with not feeling totally ignored on it. Plus! My art actually made it into a scalies panel at RF, I was super stoked over that! ^.=.^ . Regarding spirituality, well my time alone has been more spent in meditation and really journaling a lotta things, thoughts and feelings I have had regarding more personal things. Kinda like making my own road map of where I am been, what I am doing and where I want to be. I have been seeking out the better of the dragons I know in this regard to kinda keep me on track, hold me to my words, and lend an ear and a voice on such deeper and more personal matters. I can't say I am where I want to be right now, but I feel I am progressing towards being more of the real me, and the support and understanding of those close to me means a lot over these last years. You know who you are and I thank you for all our talks and our hangouts and even just having a couple drinks and a good ol time! ^.=.^
Wingfire out!
The adult art landscape (kinda rant?)
Posted 10 years agoThose of you watching me have seen my gallery, its not hard to tell a couple of thing about me from that. I am a bit crazy for dragons, I am a rather spiritual individual, I am gay and I more or less have few compunctions over drawing adult things. Todays topic is gonna be about art specifically.
I have taken my share of flak over the years for the stuff I draw, had my credibility questioned, people have tried to shame me in passive ways, hell I was even outright told I am not an artist some years ago. All based around the things I draw and the fact I appear to have missed out on that life class about hating who I am sexually and putting that on other people so they can be that way too. But enough about me, lets get on with the show!
I am speaking more of the hypocrisy I keep encountering with some individuals. People who will spout off their "morale outrage" one second about furries drawing smut, how its not real art, how the people drawing it have little skill and rely on cheap popufur tactics. People pretty much being nice ripe cunts about the whole thing and making others feel rather unwelcome. BUT! Eventually they start drawing porn/adult/mature/what-ever-you-need-to-call-it content themselves and making into this massive fanfare of "Can you believe it guys? ME! Me, mr/mrs twatwaffle finally wetting my toes in THAT side of the fandom, I am so naughty, look, I drew a nipple and a sheath!". The whole time apparently not even being the least bit aware of all the crap they have pulled on others. Not saying that anyone who bridges over to adult content is that way, just the ones who gotta make a huge deal out of it and let it be known they are still a real artist first and that this is just a thing, so they are still better than other who draw adult art and can keep their nose held high.
I get it, your morality wasn't socially paying off and now you gotta suckle from the teat of the fandoms "bad" side so you can still feel relevant and garner more popularity, all the while still hating yourself for it out of some oddly placed self-limiting guilt. Its fine to admit that and to try and grow past that as an artist and a person, I freaking welcome it, just... come outta the closet here and put down the stones you are still set on throwing at others who have drawn adult content for ages, and especially those newer furs who are just starting to even try and draw. Because trust me, life already gives us all plenty of piss and lemons, we don't need more. This way the fandom can become a nicer place, dragons wont have to rant and roll their eyes, and we wont have an influx of anthropomorphic vagina'd waffles goose stepping about.
I have taken my share of flak over the years for the stuff I draw, had my credibility questioned, people have tried to shame me in passive ways, hell I was even outright told I am not an artist some years ago. All based around the things I draw and the fact I appear to have missed out on that life class about hating who I am sexually and putting that on other people so they can be that way too. But enough about me, lets get on with the show!
I am speaking more of the hypocrisy I keep encountering with some individuals. People who will spout off their "morale outrage" one second about furries drawing smut, how its not real art, how the people drawing it have little skill and rely on cheap popufur tactics. People pretty much being nice ripe cunts about the whole thing and making others feel rather unwelcome. BUT! Eventually they start drawing porn/adult/mature/what-ever-you-need-to-call-it content themselves and making into this massive fanfare of "Can you believe it guys? ME! Me, mr/mrs twatwaffle finally wetting my toes in THAT side of the fandom, I am so naughty, look, I drew a nipple and a sheath!". The whole time apparently not even being the least bit aware of all the crap they have pulled on others. Not saying that anyone who bridges over to adult content is that way, just the ones who gotta make a huge deal out of it and let it be known they are still a real artist first and that this is just a thing, so they are still better than other who draw adult art and can keep their nose held high.
I get it, your morality wasn't socially paying off and now you gotta suckle from the teat of the fandoms "bad" side so you can still feel relevant and garner more popularity, all the while still hating yourself for it out of some oddly placed self-limiting guilt. Its fine to admit that and to try and grow past that as an artist and a person, I freaking welcome it, just... come outta the closet here and put down the stones you are still set on throwing at others who have drawn adult content for ages, and especially those newer furs who are just starting to even try and draw. Because trust me, life already gives us all plenty of piss and lemons, we don't need more. This way the fandom can become a nicer place, dragons wont have to rant and roll their eyes, and we wont have an influx of anthropomorphic vagina'd waffles goose stepping about.
Hilarity ensues... XD
Posted 10 years agoSo those of you who read my last journal about how Facebook fucked my account over (thank you for all the replies and advices!).... you are gonna get a laugh here.
In a last ditch effort of what can be summed up as "fuck you im a dragon" I submitted my three documents to facebook. The documents were as follows.
1: A picture of me in suit.
2: A picture of a few badges and commissions I got from a convention.
3: A picture of me in a newspaper article that was covering a local convention a few years ago.
I was totally expecting this to be rejected as bullshit proof of identity, and I was ready to just ditch the account all together but...
Today I get home to discover that I had been contacted and my account re-opened with the name left the same and a note saying that the case is closed. I am left to assume that either they got a very simple automated system... or who ever read my particular case was like "uuuuh... so this guy is a performer?" or they got such a laugh outta my provided "documents" that they opened it back up cause it was funny. XD
In a last ditch effort of what can be summed up as "fuck you im a dragon" I submitted my three documents to facebook. The documents were as follows.
1: A picture of me in suit.
2: A picture of a few badges and commissions I got from a convention.
3: A picture of me in a newspaper article that was covering a local convention a few years ago.
I was totally expecting this to be rejected as bullshit proof of identity, and I was ready to just ditch the account all together but...
Today I get home to discover that I had been contacted and my account re-opened with the name left the same and a note saying that the case is closed. I am left to assume that either they got a very simple automated system... or who ever read my particular case was like "uuuuh... so this guy is a performer?" or they got such a laugh outta my provided "documents" that they opened it back up cause it was funny. XD
Facebook fucks yet another..
Posted 10 years agoSo.. pleasant surprise today... I get home, log onto my laptop and go to open my Facebook page... my draconic face book page.... my "you are fucking nutters if you think I am gonna use my IRL name you dirt digging shits" facebook page. Because hey, I have thoughts and events that happen both in the furry fandom and also happenings that revolve around spiritual and more draconic matters. But today I get the pleasure of discovering my account is now added to the one of many essentially scrapped FB pages because "you need to use a real name" and I will argue that that particular account was more, real me than my boring human one that I only have to keep up appearances.
On the one hand I am a fair bit disappointed, this was my means of really getting some things out there and into the air, thoughts, ideas, feelings.... Thinking of it now.. perhaps Facebook was the wrong avenue for any thoughts or subjects deeper than "haaay look at my selfie" or "omg I made PIE!". But still I cant help but feel a little blargh that I cannot use that account for the foreseeable future. Perhaps it was all for the best as that was a pretty quiet and nearly dead social avenue for someone like me, and I did start getting a bit bothered or down at times realizing that because I am a pretty social guy... but I cant do boring small talk or post what I would see as meaningless "look at meeeee!" posts.
Some of you might be thinking I should just swallow my pride and use the ol human name and just get it over with. But to do that already makes that account utterly pointless as for me to start throwing that dynamic into the mix means just dumbing down every single thing I say, making it ultra safe so snooping co-workers or family members don't see anything. If there is one thing that I have been growing more tired of as the years go on, its playing everything super safe, super PC and incredibly watered/ dumbed down.
This all being said, I would still like to try and reach out and be social.. But I think my era was truly with the forums and instant messengers, I just don't feel a draw to many of these social networks because of mindsets they promote.
On the one hand I am a fair bit disappointed, this was my means of really getting some things out there and into the air, thoughts, ideas, feelings.... Thinking of it now.. perhaps Facebook was the wrong avenue for any thoughts or subjects deeper than "haaay look at my selfie" or "omg I made PIE!". But still I cant help but feel a little blargh that I cannot use that account for the foreseeable future. Perhaps it was all for the best as that was a pretty quiet and nearly dead social avenue for someone like me, and I did start getting a bit bothered or down at times realizing that because I am a pretty social guy... but I cant do boring small talk or post what I would see as meaningless "look at meeeee!" posts.
Some of you might be thinking I should just swallow my pride and use the ol human name and just get it over with. But to do that already makes that account utterly pointless as for me to start throwing that dynamic into the mix means just dumbing down every single thing I say, making it ultra safe so snooping co-workers or family members don't see anything. If there is one thing that I have been growing more tired of as the years go on, its playing everything super safe, super PC and incredibly watered/ dumbed down.
This all being said, I would still like to try and reach out and be social.. But I think my era was truly with the forums and instant messengers, I just don't feel a draw to many of these social networks because of mindsets they promote.
Coment journal meme!
Posted 11 years agoBecause I feel like doing something! :O
Comment on this journal and I will...
1) Tell you something I learned about you by looking at your FA page for 10 seconds.
2) Tell you a color you remind me of.
3) Tell you my first memory of you.
4) Ask you a question.
5) Tell you something I like about you.
6) Tell you the object that is in front of me.
7) Dare you to do this yourself in your own journal.
Comment on this journal and I will...
1) Tell you something I learned about you by looking at your FA page for 10 seconds.
2) Tell you a color you remind me of.
3) Tell you my first memory of you.
4) Ask you a question.
5) Tell you something I like about you.
6) Tell you the object that is in front of me.
7) Dare you to do this yourself in your own journal.
Update in the life of a dragon
Posted 11 years agoToo long since I last posted anything since my "hey guuuise im going to a con" journal, so I figured I would throw a couple of lill life updates out there to show that. 1: Im not dead, and 2: I do actually have a slightly active life.
Now that summer is right around the corner, this dragons energy levels have been on the rise! Mood is finally picking up and I have just been trying to go with the flow and not really rush myself with things, just as a general I have been feeling a lot more spiritual minded, been more drawn to try and meditate more, go for longer walks day or night and essentially wrack my brain with a slew of questions revolving around my identity. The quiet time has been pretty good to me, feeling quite dragony as of late because of it and its just a good feeling. ^.=.^
On the more normal life side of things but still actually of relevance to actual interesting things for me! I finally snagged myself a good new-ish (new enough lol) car. Got me a 2007 Honda FIT LX 5-speed. Got it for a decent price cause it wasn't in perfect shape. (paint scratches, small things missing mainly) Mechanically she is solid and aside me having to get use to how different it is from my old civic (god rest his D16). Its one hell of a ride and spacious as all hell, may not be as fast as my old Civic but it sure beats the every loving fuck out of the Cavalier I was driving for those few in-between months!
Aside these things it looks like summer is shaping up to be quite nice, gonna be going to a sizable furry camp-out with all my fuzzbutt friends, I have been looking forward to it for some time now cause I do love to try and go camping at least ONCE every summer if possible. Im also gonna try and devote more time on the nicer days to more personal dragon business because I am feeling very drawn to it and want to take more time with that part of my life. But last and not least if I am not doing that then I will probably be working on my car and RV or doing some art because you can never have enough art! ^.=.^
-Drake Wingfire
Now that summer is right around the corner, this dragons energy levels have been on the rise! Mood is finally picking up and I have just been trying to go with the flow and not really rush myself with things, just as a general I have been feeling a lot more spiritual minded, been more drawn to try and meditate more, go for longer walks day or night and essentially wrack my brain with a slew of questions revolving around my identity. The quiet time has been pretty good to me, feeling quite dragony as of late because of it and its just a good feeling. ^.=.^
On the more normal life side of things but still actually of relevance to actual interesting things for me! I finally snagged myself a good new-ish (new enough lol) car. Got me a 2007 Honda FIT LX 5-speed. Got it for a decent price cause it wasn't in perfect shape. (paint scratches, small things missing mainly) Mechanically she is solid and aside me having to get use to how different it is from my old civic (god rest his D16). Its one hell of a ride and spacious as all hell, may not be as fast as my old Civic but it sure beats the every loving fuck out of the Cavalier I was driving for those few in-between months!
Aside these things it looks like summer is shaping up to be quite nice, gonna be going to a sizable furry camp-out with all my fuzzbutt friends, I have been looking forward to it for some time now cause I do love to try and go camping at least ONCE every summer if possible. Im also gonna try and devote more time on the nicer days to more personal dragon business because I am feeling very drawn to it and want to take more time with that part of my life. But last and not least if I am not doing that then I will probably be working on my car and RV or doing some art because you can never have enough art! ^.=.^
-Drake Wingfire
Vancoufur Meme (Because obligastory con journal)
Posted 11 years agoWhere are you staying?
Main hotel, jacuzzi room suckaaas!!
What day are you getting there?
Thursday (first day of event)
Who will you be rooming with?
My mate Morrogh Drachen and my good friend Kyroo! ^.=.^
Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Out and about, if I am not suiting then I will be sniffing out interesting panels or people.
How best to find you?
Look for the big red, white and yellow dragon since the human kinda blends in too easily to his surroundings.
Who will you be with?
Expect to see me with a bunch of my island bros and some of my mainland friends, dragon or not!
Do you do free art?
No not really, only for friends sometimes.
Do you do trades?
Very rarely but also only with friends.
Do you do badges?
Thought about it, need more skill in species other than scalies ^.=.^;;
What is your gender?
Cloaca.... I mean rather-ambiguous-male (at least dragon wise)
How old are you?
25, im officially ready for collectors plates, vintage 88 Dragon right here!
Do you have a fursuit?
Yiss, expect to see me strutting about either setting an example for the species or pushing them further into the closet.
Can I touch you?
Im generally okay with most things as long as ones hands are clean :P
Can I talk to you?
Feel free to! I like to try and get to know more people but am not too great with it admittedly.
Can I hug and/or snuggle you?
Hugs for sure, snuggles, dunno probably no :P
Are you nice?
If you are friendly to me, I am friendly to you. I don't snub people unless they are really acting like a dick.
Can we hang out?
I don't see why not, always nice to meet people.
Are you cliquey?
I have my groups but I try and avoid being too cliquey about them, a tricky thing to get over when you are a dragon. lol
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just say my name, yell Drake or Wingfire, you'll get me X3
Can I look in your sketchbook?
Wont have mine with me most likely.
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
see previous answer.
Can I buy you a drink?
Sure, no roofies please, they always seem to make my ass sore the next day.. allergies maybe?
Can I take your picture?
Sure, if I am in suit even more so, I love to pose for the cameras and show off dem red scales! <3
Do you attend parties?
Totally, though I do like smaller ones that are not a total bro beer chugging fest cause those put me off.
Main hotel, jacuzzi room suckaaas!!
What day are you getting there?
Thursday (first day of event)
Who will you be rooming with?
My mate Morrogh Drachen and my good friend Kyroo! ^.=.^
Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Out and about, if I am not suiting then I will be sniffing out interesting panels or people.
How best to find you?
Look for the big red, white and yellow dragon since the human kinda blends in too easily to his surroundings.
Who will you be with?
Expect to see me with a bunch of my island bros and some of my mainland friends, dragon or not!
Do you do free art?
No not really, only for friends sometimes.
Do you do trades?
Very rarely but also only with friends.
Do you do badges?
Thought about it, need more skill in species other than scalies ^.=.^;;
What is your gender?
Cloaca.... I mean rather-ambiguous-male (at least dragon wise)
How old are you?
25, im officially ready for collectors plates, vintage 88 Dragon right here!
Do you have a fursuit?
Yiss, expect to see me strutting about either setting an example for the species or pushing them further into the closet.
Can I touch you?
Im generally okay with most things as long as ones hands are clean :P
Can I talk to you?
Feel free to! I like to try and get to know more people but am not too great with it admittedly.
Can I hug and/or snuggle you?
Hugs for sure, snuggles, dunno probably no :P
Are you nice?
If you are friendly to me, I am friendly to you. I don't snub people unless they are really acting like a dick.
Can we hang out?
I don't see why not, always nice to meet people.
Are you cliquey?
I have my groups but I try and avoid being too cliquey about them, a tricky thing to get over when you are a dragon. lol
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Just say my name, yell Drake or Wingfire, you'll get me X3
Can I look in your sketchbook?
Wont have mine with me most likely.
Can I draw in your sketchbook?
see previous answer.
Can I buy you a drink?
Sure, no roofies please, they always seem to make my ass sore the next day.. allergies maybe?
Can I take your picture?
Sure, if I am in suit even more so, I love to pose for the cameras and show off dem red scales! <3
Do you attend parties?
Totally, though I do like smaller ones that are not a total bro beer chugging fest cause those put me off.
Fursona Meme
Posted 12 years agoWhat made you choose the species of your main fursona?
Back in the early 2000's I had what some would call an awakening, something of an inner feeling like the world and people just didn't seem like something I really was. I could play the part and fit in but I always felt kinda like I was just putting on an act. This coupled with me entering a time in my life where dragons seemed to play a huge role in my daily thoughts and musings lead me to discovering groups of people out there who identified as Otherkin, meaning they viewed themselves as beings other than human. With the affinity I had towards dragons, often viewing them as "my perfect world" which I often dreamed about. It started to feel like I had found a place where I belonged in spirit, a sort of home for the heart. Years prior to this I had always drawn a group of dragons who all represented different feelings or traits that I admired or had. One who was a wise tactician, a typical "old ways" kinda dragon, another who was a typical comic relief kinda guy, in all there were six I drew regularly. But the one dragon of this group I drew the most was a particular red, white and yellow dragon who was often acting out on my own personal fantasies and the kind of things I wish I had the guts to be at the time (an extroverted and pretty self confident, do-what-I-want kind of joker who was also a little bit of a sexual deviant). When I finally made the connection between all these little elements the dragon known as Drake Wingfire was born, the dragon I spiritually identify as and the perceived self that helped me become who I am today.
Is your fursona just like you, or how you want to be?
We are one in the same, all that really separates us are faces. Originally this wasn't the case and Drake represented what I wished I could be mentality wise, over the years I kinda remoulded into that sort of dragon, a far leap from the introverted and timid person I once was.
Does your fursona have the same personality you have?
Dead on, seeing as there is really no seperational difference between how I am IRL and who I view myself as a dragon. Like in my previous statement we are one.
Does your fursona have the same dislikes and likes as you do?
Well yes and no, yes cause we are one in and same, but no cause its hard for a dragon to hate something that he in his own life would probably never see. Though I bet you he would get nightmares over the stories told of weird hive like buildings filled to the brim with over sized and over breeding creatures called humans. I know I feel that way and I actually live here. XD (Oh yeah, don't tell him about human social structure and behaviors, might make him need therapy)
Does your fursona look like you at all?
Seeing as I don't subscribe the the accessorizing nature that some people do, we look nothing alike save for us both having blue eyes.
Is your fursona the same gender as you, if not why?
Keeping it simple, yes he does. No weather I was straight in past life is another story. Maybe I just got bored with dragoness vagina a long time ago and decided I will try dick flavor in this life. (though I think dragon dick would have been more preferable.... Pssst thank you Bad Dragon!)
Do you have more then one main fursona?
No, I don't play as anything other than who I am. Its kind of a part of my old stubborn side where I feel the only thing I should be is me.
Do you have a back story for your fursona, if so does it have anything to do with your own history?
Back story, no, I simply don't believe in inventing a history about something I believe spiritually because I no longer seek to try and impress people with overblown glorified tales of being something like a dragon king or a soldier or something else that just is made to sound impressive to people. I will leave myself open to what actually becomes revealed to me and not what I think would sound cool.
Is your fursona mated, if so is it to your real life significant other?
Yes I am mated and to another dragon *snickers* he does live with me IRL as well, thought we use to be long distance.
If not are they looking for a mate, or are they a swinger so to speak?
We tend to be partially open to friends only, but its not something we just let random people in on if they approach us for it. So chances are no. :P
Is there something special about your fursona that you think sets them apart from others?
I am aware I am a very typical western dragon for the most part so physically no. One thing I think that does tend to set me apart from others revolves around the mentality I have as a dragon. I don't believe in having pride just because one is of a particular species, I find it incredibly foolish and a catalyst for what I call "Cardboard Cutout Syndrome" I am proud to be who I am, but I don't let it bloat my head and give me a false sense of superiority simply cause I am a dragon. So in that sense I tend to strongly dislike much of the typical dragon personality traits that seem so popular amongst people.
Do you have much art of your main fursona/s?
Oh god yes, some days to the point I wonder if I am just a little too preoccupied with myself. I find it tends to stem from me really trying to hammer down and convey who I am, bringing who I am inside to life on paper. IE: awww shit, I cant fly IRL... so I should draw a few pictures of how great flying would be if I was physically a dragon!
Would you ever consider parting with your main fursona, if so why?
I don't even think it is possible. I would have to be horribly depressed and hate everything about myself to try and cast off the dragon. Its so integrated into who I am that I do honestly view it as who I really am where as the daily life me is just me doing what I gotta do to succeed in life. If I had more furry origins I still would have a hard time seeing myself just throwing away something I love so much.
If you suit, do you have a suit of your main fursona?
I do and I love it! Its funny cause I have gotten such mixed reactions from people over it. Some simply will compliment and say that they would love a suit some day. But I have gotten a few that give me a "isnt it weird to be dressing up as who you are inside?" to which I say, why should it be kept on the inside? I wanna be a dragon on the outside too! The dragon may have deep spiritual meaning to me, but in the end it is me, and its kind of impossible to offend myself trying to be more like myself.
Have you ever roleplayed with your main fursona, or do you prefer not to?
I use to a lot, but these days not so much. I just don't find many people I really care to play with in that way anymore.
Do you consider your main fursona to be a part of you in any way?
Well Drake Wingfire IS me sooo... Yes! The dragon is the embodiment of who I feel I am on the inside so simply put, who I am IRL and who I am as a dragon are pretty much the exact same being.
Back in the early 2000's I had what some would call an awakening, something of an inner feeling like the world and people just didn't seem like something I really was. I could play the part and fit in but I always felt kinda like I was just putting on an act. This coupled with me entering a time in my life where dragons seemed to play a huge role in my daily thoughts and musings lead me to discovering groups of people out there who identified as Otherkin, meaning they viewed themselves as beings other than human. With the affinity I had towards dragons, often viewing them as "my perfect world" which I often dreamed about. It started to feel like I had found a place where I belonged in spirit, a sort of home for the heart. Years prior to this I had always drawn a group of dragons who all represented different feelings or traits that I admired or had. One who was a wise tactician, a typical "old ways" kinda dragon, another who was a typical comic relief kinda guy, in all there were six I drew regularly. But the one dragon of this group I drew the most was a particular red, white and yellow dragon who was often acting out on my own personal fantasies and the kind of things I wish I had the guts to be at the time (an extroverted and pretty self confident, do-what-I-want kind of joker who was also a little bit of a sexual deviant). When I finally made the connection between all these little elements the dragon known as Drake Wingfire was born, the dragon I spiritually identify as and the perceived self that helped me become who I am today.
Is your fursona just like you, or how you want to be?
We are one in the same, all that really separates us are faces. Originally this wasn't the case and Drake represented what I wished I could be mentality wise, over the years I kinda remoulded into that sort of dragon, a far leap from the introverted and timid person I once was.
Does your fursona have the same personality you have?
Dead on, seeing as there is really no seperational difference between how I am IRL and who I view myself as a dragon. Like in my previous statement we are one.
Does your fursona have the same dislikes and likes as you do?
Well yes and no, yes cause we are one in and same, but no cause its hard for a dragon to hate something that he in his own life would probably never see. Though I bet you he would get nightmares over the stories told of weird hive like buildings filled to the brim with over sized and over breeding creatures called humans. I know I feel that way and I actually live here. XD (Oh yeah, don't tell him about human social structure and behaviors, might make him need therapy)
Does your fursona look like you at all?
Seeing as I don't subscribe the the accessorizing nature that some people do, we look nothing alike save for us both having blue eyes.
Is your fursona the same gender as you, if not why?
Keeping it simple, yes he does. No weather I was straight in past life is another story. Maybe I just got bored with dragoness vagina a long time ago and decided I will try dick flavor in this life. (though I think dragon dick would have been more preferable.... Pssst thank you Bad Dragon!)
Do you have more then one main fursona?
No, I don't play as anything other than who I am. Its kind of a part of my old stubborn side where I feel the only thing I should be is me.
Do you have a back story for your fursona, if so does it have anything to do with your own history?
Back story, no, I simply don't believe in inventing a history about something I believe spiritually because I no longer seek to try and impress people with overblown glorified tales of being something like a dragon king or a soldier or something else that just is made to sound impressive to people. I will leave myself open to what actually becomes revealed to me and not what I think would sound cool.
Is your fursona mated, if so is it to your real life significant other?
Yes I am mated and to another dragon *snickers* he does live with me IRL as well, thought we use to be long distance.
If not are they looking for a mate, or are they a swinger so to speak?
We tend to be partially open to friends only, but its not something we just let random people in on if they approach us for it. So chances are no. :P
Is there something special about your fursona that you think sets them apart from others?
I am aware I am a very typical western dragon for the most part so physically no. One thing I think that does tend to set me apart from others revolves around the mentality I have as a dragon. I don't believe in having pride just because one is of a particular species, I find it incredibly foolish and a catalyst for what I call "Cardboard Cutout Syndrome" I am proud to be who I am, but I don't let it bloat my head and give me a false sense of superiority simply cause I am a dragon. So in that sense I tend to strongly dislike much of the typical dragon personality traits that seem so popular amongst people.
Do you have much art of your main fursona/s?
Oh god yes, some days to the point I wonder if I am just a little too preoccupied with myself. I find it tends to stem from me really trying to hammer down and convey who I am, bringing who I am inside to life on paper. IE: awww shit, I cant fly IRL... so I should draw a few pictures of how great flying would be if I was physically a dragon!
Would you ever consider parting with your main fursona, if so why?
I don't even think it is possible. I would have to be horribly depressed and hate everything about myself to try and cast off the dragon. Its so integrated into who I am that I do honestly view it as who I really am where as the daily life me is just me doing what I gotta do to succeed in life. If I had more furry origins I still would have a hard time seeing myself just throwing away something I love so much.
If you suit, do you have a suit of your main fursona?
I do and I love it! Its funny cause I have gotten such mixed reactions from people over it. Some simply will compliment and say that they would love a suit some day. But I have gotten a few that give me a "isnt it weird to be dressing up as who you are inside?" to which I say, why should it be kept on the inside? I wanna be a dragon on the outside too! The dragon may have deep spiritual meaning to me, but in the end it is me, and its kind of impossible to offend myself trying to be more like myself.
Have you ever roleplayed with your main fursona, or do you prefer not to?
I use to a lot, but these days not so much. I just don't find many people I really care to play with in that way anymore.
Do you consider your main fursona to be a part of you in any way?
Well Drake Wingfire IS me sooo... Yes! The dragon is the embodiment of who I feel I am on the inside so simply put, who I am IRL and who I am as a dragon are pretty much the exact same being.
Wingfire's 2013 flashback
Posted 12 years agoFirst off, Happy new year to all my friends and watchers! To me it feels as if time is progressing ridiculously fast @.=.@
But this last year has been a fairly eventful one for this draggie, so I figured I would re-cap its highlights and shitlights in no particular order.
Jobs:
One of the biggest changes for me that year was getting my ass out of a terrible, and honestly very soul and personality sucking job. I use to work for a small used car sales company as a Lot-Guy, washing, cleaning, detailing and delivering vehicles. It started out great until some particular co-workers felt it was their place to start treating me like shit, and when they didn't get their way, started exaggerating things and level lie about me to the quasi-management. In turn this would go to the actual managers in the form of some bullshit like I was just sitting around all day doing nothing or wasting time on pointless tasks, pointless tasks mind you that I got reprimanded for NOT doing before, and then got shit for doing them. It was clear they were just trying to harass me into quitting or "breaking" and becoming one of them (Since I did air my honest opinions on some of the sleazy ethics the business has). I talked with some good friends after a few face-to-face harassment I received and sent e-mails to head management about the harassment, solved it for a short while. But if anyone knows cars salesmen, this was the tip of the iceberg, so they started to make up shit about me, trying to make me sign off on bullshit letters saying I was leaving work 15 mins early every day and not doing my job despite my leaving work damn exhausted daily from trying to keep up with everything. So I decided after enough of playing hard ball with them and even trying to go to labor boards, only to be told I am SOL cause they are a apparently just a farce organization who directed me to another organization who said that they don't deal with problems like this. I quietly gave my 2 weeks to the ONE nice manager there who wasn't a back stabbing shark like the rest and went on my own way.
The upside to all this was I landed an IT job mere weeks after leaving that crap-lot job and have been working there pretty happily ever since then. I had done IT work in the past buy got layed off cause things slowed down and I was their lest valuable guy seniority wise. So to get a fresh shot like this was almost a dream come true. The place is a mere 2 minutes drive from the old neighborhood I use to live at as a kid and that I still like to visit now and then for some peace and quiet. The shop I work in is small and has a very small staff, but the work seems to come in pretty solid and its clear I am helping the place run a lot smoother with the added man-power.
Cars:
Well 2013 was a year full of accidents, first a racoon that damaged my bumper, then rear ending someone in the rain that busted apart my bumper (as well as a $800 insurance pay out so my premiums would not rise) ( also the bumper which I pieced back together on my car) and then finally, driving home one night from my IT job, I hit a deer while going down the highway which pretty must bent in the front frame of my car, destroyed the bumper, hood, fender and a couple lights. It was amazing I didn't lose control or even have the car drive all fucked up. Mechanically the car still was fine aside a power steering leak which just made steering jittery after the fluid bled out over a few days. I knew this was the end of old Crimson, I had many close calls in that car over the years and made it through some hairy situations and even when it took a hit, it just kept going... even though I could have driven her still, I didn't wanna sink thousands into a pretty old car that was starting to run into issues. So one trip to the insurance company later I was offered a $1600 payout for the car, which I took. What followed up was a few nicer parts swaps to my mates car since I spent good money on a few things, as well as my best friend giving me $200 for the winter tires/ rims that were on the car.
The upside here was that while at my old car-lot job, I snagged a great running 1996 Cavalier coupe (fully loaded too!) for a mere $400 and it had just been sitting at our place, getting leaves and crap all over it since we only insured it for the summer. Sure its far from my ideal car and compared to the Civic I had, this thing eats WAY more gas even for a 4 banger. But I was happy to be able to just hop over to it and keep on going instead of being car-less up shit creek. Since then I have put a little work and money into it, but otherwise I she is doing great.... Now I just need a name for her!
Spirituality:
2013 proved to have some turbulence here, with the great start I felt I had in 2011 and 2012, it seemed 2013 was the year of "lets see how well you hold up your chipper mindset when things are trying to bring you down" and for sure I had my slips, I had some bad ones. The job was trying to strip me of who I was... yet oddly enough I kept finding crystals and stones in some of the trade in vehicles, which are now cleansed and a part of my personal collection that I do use time to time! ^.=.^ Though aside that job which I did recover from mostly, there was also the aforementioned car deal, those that know me know I was horribly attached to that car and they knew of how upset I got in the past over lesser damages. So when they saw the thing was destroyed, many were surprised I wasn't either crying like a wreck or pissed off enough to buy a gun and kill every deer I saw from that point on lol. The truth of the matter is that its the mentality change I had over these previous years that got me through a big part of it all, I had to realize that a car doesn't make me who I am, that its a stupid thing to place ones identity as a individual in. So while losing that car was like losing a old party friend, it wasn't me losing a part of myself.
Now those were just day to day life things, how about something deeper, a little more closer to heart to take a hit since anyone can learn to be detached from a car or especially a job. How about ones Draconity.
The biggest blunder I think I made in 2013 spirituality wise is summed up in my previous journal "Beating dead horses again" where I went into detail that my return to some otherkin places didn't go as swimmingly as I thought, that the people who I pictured would have the MOST in common with me and really get me were actually a huge disappointment. In part I do fault myself for a portion of this, in my mind I had glorified it and placed it on a pedestal where it just didn't belong and reality showed me otherwise. I grew disappointed, even downright angered from what I saw of some of these dragonkin, asking myself "Is this really what the community has become in my 10 years of absence? Is spirituality now just some passe fad and I haven't realized the new trend of picking apart others like some sort of angry atheist?" I didn't like seeing the superiority complexes as well as people just arguing over "facts" about every subject. It all struck me as a community with a very big lack of harmony and true friendship, I wasn't gonna sit around and waste my time trying to "prove my worth" to a group just looking to tear others down and tell others who was real or not. so I just looked at myself and admitted that mistakes happen, I was caught up in nostalgia over something that never really existed (at least in the main stream of kin) and moved on. Its not to say I didn't meet some honest and outgoing dragons, oh no, I met a good few who I do consider friends. I just realized that looking in places that are very species-centric as well has hive-minded for outgoing, social and worldly individuals who have personal spirituality is akin to looking for a gay man in a southern church, you wont find many, if any. In the end I feel strongly that the otherkin community could use to be a LOT more humble and realize calling furries and other forms of spiritually weird and messed up is a huge form of hypocrisy. It would do the rest of us who are trying to show that not all dragons are movie stereotypes wonders.
Despite all these hits, especially the blow that was the return to kin one, I still feel strongly about who I am spiritually. I have been and always will be my own dragon, even if I have the kin label on me. I will continue down my own path pursuing what feels right for who I am, and who I want to be. (you know, NOT a cardboard cutout dragon stereotype hahaha) I didn't go through those last couple of years just to be put off by a bunch of teenage "special snowflakes" roaming the community these days with false superiority complexes.
Furry:
Now this is one of the real highlights, as opposed me to just finding silver linings or clawing my way back out of a shitty place. This last year in the fandom has been INSANE! HOLY DRAGON DONGS WHERE DO I BEGIN?! To start 2013 off with a bang I got my fursuit, something I had dreamed of for YEARS but always figured "I will never be a rich fur... I cant afford one". Yet here I am! Its been a total blast being able to actually roam around as the dragon I am, its a liberating feeling in its own right just because others get to see you on the outside and you can really enjoy yourself by playing things up for fun ^.=.^. Then there was the continuation of the awesome local community that I am proud to be a part of, I have met many great furs over the years and the local scene seems to be only getting stronger in terms of meets and events. The crowning moments being the convention trips to Howl, Vancoufur and even Rainfurrest as well as a somewhat new event popping up right on the island here called Surfur, my years are now loaded with awesome furry fun as opposed to the more quiet and lonely ones I had in 2008-2011, it seems as if every couple of months there is some crazy trip somewhere full of memorable times with great friends. All this in hindsight actually makes me glad the shitty events that took place 10 years ago pushed me in the direction of finding the furry fandom otherwise I would honestly have seen myself becoming a too-serious, antisocial dragon stereotype and not the type of dragon I am today. A kinda worrying thought.
So in summary, 2013 was full of spills and nostalgic ball slaps. But its shown me that its good friends and personal strength that make all the difference in how ones life goes. Things tried to pull me down, I confess they even did for a while and made me rather angry, but I still came through eventually. In the end a mere car doesn't define me, other dragons don't dictate what kind of dragon I am, especially when I hardly know them. But my friends, they have changed a lot in me, and being able to go out and have more of a social life as well as a more spiritual one has still made 2013 overall a good year for this Dragon.
But this last year has been a fairly eventful one for this draggie, so I figured I would re-cap its highlights and shitlights in no particular order.
Jobs:
One of the biggest changes for me that year was getting my ass out of a terrible, and honestly very soul and personality sucking job. I use to work for a small used car sales company as a Lot-Guy, washing, cleaning, detailing and delivering vehicles. It started out great until some particular co-workers felt it was their place to start treating me like shit, and when they didn't get their way, started exaggerating things and level lie about me to the quasi-management. In turn this would go to the actual managers in the form of some bullshit like I was just sitting around all day doing nothing or wasting time on pointless tasks, pointless tasks mind you that I got reprimanded for NOT doing before, and then got shit for doing them. It was clear they were just trying to harass me into quitting or "breaking" and becoming one of them (Since I did air my honest opinions on some of the sleazy ethics the business has). I talked with some good friends after a few face-to-face harassment I received and sent e-mails to head management about the harassment, solved it for a short while. But if anyone knows cars salesmen, this was the tip of the iceberg, so they started to make up shit about me, trying to make me sign off on bullshit letters saying I was leaving work 15 mins early every day and not doing my job despite my leaving work damn exhausted daily from trying to keep up with everything. So I decided after enough of playing hard ball with them and even trying to go to labor boards, only to be told I am SOL cause they are a apparently just a farce organization who directed me to another organization who said that they don't deal with problems like this. I quietly gave my 2 weeks to the ONE nice manager there who wasn't a back stabbing shark like the rest and went on my own way.
The upside to all this was I landed an IT job mere weeks after leaving that crap-lot job and have been working there pretty happily ever since then. I had done IT work in the past buy got layed off cause things slowed down and I was their lest valuable guy seniority wise. So to get a fresh shot like this was almost a dream come true. The place is a mere 2 minutes drive from the old neighborhood I use to live at as a kid and that I still like to visit now and then for some peace and quiet. The shop I work in is small and has a very small staff, but the work seems to come in pretty solid and its clear I am helping the place run a lot smoother with the added man-power.
Cars:
Well 2013 was a year full of accidents, first a racoon that damaged my bumper, then rear ending someone in the rain that busted apart my bumper (as well as a $800 insurance pay out so my premiums would not rise) ( also the bumper which I pieced back together on my car) and then finally, driving home one night from my IT job, I hit a deer while going down the highway which pretty must bent in the front frame of my car, destroyed the bumper, hood, fender and a couple lights. It was amazing I didn't lose control or even have the car drive all fucked up. Mechanically the car still was fine aside a power steering leak which just made steering jittery after the fluid bled out over a few days. I knew this was the end of old Crimson, I had many close calls in that car over the years and made it through some hairy situations and even when it took a hit, it just kept going... even though I could have driven her still, I didn't wanna sink thousands into a pretty old car that was starting to run into issues. So one trip to the insurance company later I was offered a $1600 payout for the car, which I took. What followed up was a few nicer parts swaps to my mates car since I spent good money on a few things, as well as my best friend giving me $200 for the winter tires/ rims that were on the car.
The upside here was that while at my old car-lot job, I snagged a great running 1996 Cavalier coupe (fully loaded too!) for a mere $400 and it had just been sitting at our place, getting leaves and crap all over it since we only insured it for the summer. Sure its far from my ideal car and compared to the Civic I had, this thing eats WAY more gas even for a 4 banger. But I was happy to be able to just hop over to it and keep on going instead of being car-less up shit creek. Since then I have put a little work and money into it, but otherwise I she is doing great.... Now I just need a name for her!
Spirituality:
2013 proved to have some turbulence here, with the great start I felt I had in 2011 and 2012, it seemed 2013 was the year of "lets see how well you hold up your chipper mindset when things are trying to bring you down" and for sure I had my slips, I had some bad ones. The job was trying to strip me of who I was... yet oddly enough I kept finding crystals and stones in some of the trade in vehicles, which are now cleansed and a part of my personal collection that I do use time to time! ^.=.^ Though aside that job which I did recover from mostly, there was also the aforementioned car deal, those that know me know I was horribly attached to that car and they knew of how upset I got in the past over lesser damages. So when they saw the thing was destroyed, many were surprised I wasn't either crying like a wreck or pissed off enough to buy a gun and kill every deer I saw from that point on lol. The truth of the matter is that its the mentality change I had over these previous years that got me through a big part of it all, I had to realize that a car doesn't make me who I am, that its a stupid thing to place ones identity as a individual in. So while losing that car was like losing a old party friend, it wasn't me losing a part of myself.
Now those were just day to day life things, how about something deeper, a little more closer to heart to take a hit since anyone can learn to be detached from a car or especially a job. How about ones Draconity.
The biggest blunder I think I made in 2013 spirituality wise is summed up in my previous journal "Beating dead horses again" where I went into detail that my return to some otherkin places didn't go as swimmingly as I thought, that the people who I pictured would have the MOST in common with me and really get me were actually a huge disappointment. In part I do fault myself for a portion of this, in my mind I had glorified it and placed it on a pedestal where it just didn't belong and reality showed me otherwise. I grew disappointed, even downright angered from what I saw of some of these dragonkin, asking myself "Is this really what the community has become in my 10 years of absence? Is spirituality now just some passe fad and I haven't realized the new trend of picking apart others like some sort of angry atheist?" I didn't like seeing the superiority complexes as well as people just arguing over "facts" about every subject. It all struck me as a community with a very big lack of harmony and true friendship, I wasn't gonna sit around and waste my time trying to "prove my worth" to a group just looking to tear others down and tell others who was real or not. so I just looked at myself and admitted that mistakes happen, I was caught up in nostalgia over something that never really existed (at least in the main stream of kin) and moved on. Its not to say I didn't meet some honest and outgoing dragons, oh no, I met a good few who I do consider friends. I just realized that looking in places that are very species-centric as well has hive-minded for outgoing, social and worldly individuals who have personal spirituality is akin to looking for a gay man in a southern church, you wont find many, if any. In the end I feel strongly that the otherkin community could use to be a LOT more humble and realize calling furries and other forms of spiritually weird and messed up is a huge form of hypocrisy. It would do the rest of us who are trying to show that not all dragons are movie stereotypes wonders.
Despite all these hits, especially the blow that was the return to kin one, I still feel strongly about who I am spiritually. I have been and always will be my own dragon, even if I have the kin label on me. I will continue down my own path pursuing what feels right for who I am, and who I want to be. (you know, NOT a cardboard cutout dragon stereotype hahaha) I didn't go through those last couple of years just to be put off by a bunch of teenage "special snowflakes" roaming the community these days with false superiority complexes.
Furry:
Now this is one of the real highlights, as opposed me to just finding silver linings or clawing my way back out of a shitty place. This last year in the fandom has been INSANE! HOLY DRAGON DONGS WHERE DO I BEGIN?! To start 2013 off with a bang I got my fursuit, something I had dreamed of for YEARS but always figured "I will never be a rich fur... I cant afford one". Yet here I am! Its been a total blast being able to actually roam around as the dragon I am, its a liberating feeling in its own right just because others get to see you on the outside and you can really enjoy yourself by playing things up for fun ^.=.^. Then there was the continuation of the awesome local community that I am proud to be a part of, I have met many great furs over the years and the local scene seems to be only getting stronger in terms of meets and events. The crowning moments being the convention trips to Howl, Vancoufur and even Rainfurrest as well as a somewhat new event popping up right on the island here called Surfur, my years are now loaded with awesome furry fun as opposed to the more quiet and lonely ones I had in 2008-2011, it seems as if every couple of months there is some crazy trip somewhere full of memorable times with great friends. All this in hindsight actually makes me glad the shitty events that took place 10 years ago pushed me in the direction of finding the furry fandom otherwise I would honestly have seen myself becoming a too-serious, antisocial dragon stereotype and not the type of dragon I am today. A kinda worrying thought.
So in summary, 2013 was full of spills and nostalgic ball slaps. But its shown me that its good friends and personal strength that make all the difference in how ones life goes. Things tried to pull me down, I confess they even did for a while and made me rather angry, but I still came through eventually. In the end a mere car doesn't define me, other dragons don't dictate what kind of dragon I am, especially when I hardly know them. But my friends, they have changed a lot in me, and being able to go out and have more of a social life as well as a more spiritual one has still made 2013 overall a good year for this Dragon.
Beating dead horses again
Posted 12 years agoThis may not suprise some of you, others this may come off as kinda odd from me.
The past while I made some more efforts to try and reach out and meet some other dragons, joined up on a particular kin forum for a short time to see if anything has changed over the years.... The only two words I can possibly use to describe these experiences is Massively Disappointing. Maybe its my luck, or maybe its a sign that I have grown beyond the need for such places and am seeing the huge flaws in them, but I can't help but coment on how badly of an example some people make for their community.
Many of my closest friends know who I see myself as spiritually, Infact I have yet to get any bad flack for it. it makes me very grateful to know such individuals, its given me a kind of pride I once doubted I could have. but these past months I cannot help but feel I have layed out an impression, an example of otherkin that just isn't the truth that I deeply wish it was. those who know me know that while I can be deeply spiritual, I always have time for friends, humor and fun. never do I let who I am hinder me in my actions or my social life. my layed back, usuall easy going mindset ended up setting an example of what an otherkin is when really I am the exception, not the standard, I am the dragon who isn't afraid to socialize outside my own and I have found no further self discovery in hanging around dragon-only chats and forums.
The honest truth is I am just starting to see myelf as something of New generation of kin (sarcastically ) because despite what some think, you can have spirituality and a active social life with a diverse group of people, knowing people who are not the exact same as you do not water down or devalue who you are. If you believe that then you are only selling yourself short on your own personal and mental strength. the only thing that can make you less of a dragon is your own fear and the mindset that you are only as strong as other dragons opinions of you allow.
The past while I made some more efforts to try and reach out and meet some other dragons, joined up on a particular kin forum for a short time to see if anything has changed over the years.... The only two words I can possibly use to describe these experiences is Massively Disappointing. Maybe its my luck, or maybe its a sign that I have grown beyond the need for such places and am seeing the huge flaws in them, but I can't help but coment on how badly of an example some people make for their community.
Many of my closest friends know who I see myself as spiritually, Infact I have yet to get any bad flack for it. it makes me very grateful to know such individuals, its given me a kind of pride I once doubted I could have. but these past months I cannot help but feel I have layed out an impression, an example of otherkin that just isn't the truth that I deeply wish it was. those who know me know that while I can be deeply spiritual, I always have time for friends, humor and fun. never do I let who I am hinder me in my actions or my social life. my layed back, usuall easy going mindset ended up setting an example of what an otherkin is when really I am the exception, not the standard, I am the dragon who isn't afraid to socialize outside my own and I have found no further self discovery in hanging around dragon-only chats and forums.
The honest truth is I am just starting to see myelf as something of New generation of kin (sarcastically ) because despite what some think, you can have spirituality and a active social life with a diverse group of people, knowing people who are not the exact same as you do not water down or devalue who you are. If you believe that then you are only selling yourself short on your own personal and mental strength. the only thing that can make you less of a dragon is your own fear and the mindset that you are only as strong as other dragons opinions of you allow.
Sex meme (Straight from the dragons mouth)
Posted 12 years ago1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
There are a few, though off the top of my head, not sure lol
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
I like mornings and evenings, mid day just feels too pressure-ey
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Left side, I actually use to be paranoid of having bad dreams if I slept on the wrong side.
4. Do you masturbate?
If I didn't I think you would have to classify me as dead!
5. How often? Lately?
Once every few days, my sex drive has been in a slight bit of a slump.
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
You mean I can make money AND be naked?!
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Showers for practicality, but I wish I could have a nice relaxing bath.
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or bath?
A few times in the shower ~.=.^
9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Watch, read, buy, indulge, you know it!
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I prefer aggressive as I like to be taken for a ride. *blush*
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Well my mate is on my friends list XD
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Oh hell no, though a few I wish I knew better.
13. Would you choose love or money?
Seeing what people do for money and what they become once they got a lot of it... I will take love any day.
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Stockings/toys, biting and slight roughhousing, forced submission.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Mmm yeah a few times, but its mostly online stuff, some people be grade A rapey.
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
A beach front cabin <3
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
My RV I suppose, hahaha, friends don't call it the WingyBango for nothing ya know!
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
I have been walked in on a few times at cons *cough*
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Nah, no interest seeing as I am more of a Dracophile than anything else. lol
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Bars just aint my scene, too... cliche?
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope, probably only cause I have never been to a club or a bar hahaha!
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Noooooope
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Are you kidding, I have ONLY ever fucked someone of the same sex, I am about as close to getting the V as Richard Simmons is haha!
24. What's your sexuality?
Gay as fuck!
25. Have you ever had sex in a movie theater?
No, but thanks for the idea!
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
No, unless the shower of a bathroom counts?
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
No, but I have fapped multiple times at old jobs ^.=.^;;
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
I go in them enough that I should have been hired as staff at a few of them.
29. Have you ever bought something from an adult store?
I have blown faaaaar too much money at sex shops. ^.=.^
30. Do you own any sex toys?
I own enough to open up my own sex shop lmao!
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
Small BD Chance
Small BD Ridgeback
Small BD Virgil
Large BC Winston
Medium BD Elden
BD Janine
Silicone Egg
Glass Buttplug
Rubber Buttplug
Thick 6" bullet bibe
7" Plastic vibrator
Aneros Progasm
Silicone Vibrating Cockring
Small Gel Vibrating Buttplug
Small Plastic Vibrator
Girthy Silicone Plug
So at least 16 toys accounted for, not counting ones that broke and got thrown out.
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
My mate and quite a few friends have seen not only pics, but lengthy "to the finish" videos of me. ^.///.^
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Not that I am aware of >.=.>
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yes, if Skype-Sex counts, it was back when I was 18 lol.
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
More times than I can count, with more people than I can count, but arnt we all E-sluts?
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
Yes, a hole is a hole isnt it? XD
37. What's your favorite sexual position?
I enjoy riding reverse-cowboy style(or is it cowgirl?), pinned to a wall, slammed into a mattress.... haha pretty much any position involving me with a cock up my ass... ^.///.^;;
38. What's your favorite sex act?
Anal by far, to the point I almost wonder if my dick gets lonely lolol
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Quite a few three-ways, all very enjoyable. I hope to have more in the future. *grins*
40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Most likely my mate, maaaaaybe a friend or two.
There are a few, though off the top of my head, not sure lol
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
I like mornings and evenings, mid day just feels too pressure-ey
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
Left side, I actually use to be paranoid of having bad dreams if I slept on the wrong side.
4. Do you masturbate?
If I didn't I think you would have to classify me as dead!
5. How often? Lately?
Once every few days, my sex drive has been in a slight bit of a slump.
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
You mean I can make money AND be naked?!
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Showers for practicality, but I wish I could have a nice relaxing bath.
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or bath?
A few times in the shower ~.=.^
9. Do you watch/read pornography?
Watch, read, buy, indulge, you know it!
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I prefer aggressive as I like to be taken for a ride. *blush*
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
Well my mate is on my friends list XD
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
Oh hell no, though a few I wish I knew better.
13. Would you choose love or money?
Seeing what people do for money and what they become once they got a lot of it... I will take love any day.
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Stockings/toys, biting and slight roughhousing, forced submission.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
Mmm yeah a few times, but its mostly online stuff, some people be grade A rapey.
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
A beach front cabin <3
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
My RV I suppose, hahaha, friends don't call it the WingyBango for nothing ya know!
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
I have been walked in on a few times at cons *cough*
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Nah, no interest seeing as I am more of a Dracophile than anything else. lol
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
Bars just aint my scene, too... cliche?
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
Nope, probably only cause I have never been to a club or a bar hahaha!
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
Noooooope
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
Are you kidding, I have ONLY ever fucked someone of the same sex, I am about as close to getting the V as Richard Simmons is haha!
24. What's your sexuality?
Gay as fuck!
25. Have you ever had sex in a movie theater?
No, but thanks for the idea!
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
No, unless the shower of a bathroom counts?
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
No, but I have fapped multiple times at old jobs ^.=.^;;
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
I go in them enough that I should have been hired as staff at a few of them.
29. Have you ever bought something from an adult store?
I have blown faaaaar too much money at sex shops. ^.=.^
30. Do you own any sex toys?
I own enough to open up my own sex shop lmao!
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
Small BD Chance
Small BD Ridgeback
Small BD Virgil
Large BC Winston
Medium BD Elden
BD Janine
Silicone Egg
Glass Buttplug
Rubber Buttplug
Thick 6" bullet bibe
7" Plastic vibrator
Aneros Progasm
Silicone Vibrating Cockring
Small Gel Vibrating Buttplug
Small Plastic Vibrator
Girthy Silicone Plug
So at least 16 toys accounted for, not counting ones that broke and got thrown out.
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
My mate and quite a few friends have seen not only pics, but lengthy "to the finish" videos of me. ^.///.^
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Not that I am aware of >.=.>
34. Have you ever had phone sex?
Yes, if Skype-Sex counts, it was back when I was 18 lol.
35. Have you ever had cyber sex?
More times than I can count, with more people than I can count, but arnt we all E-sluts?
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
Yes, a hole is a hole isnt it? XD
37. What's your favorite sexual position?
I enjoy riding reverse-cowboy style(or is it cowgirl?), pinned to a wall, slammed into a mattress.... haha pretty much any position involving me with a cock up my ass... ^.///.^;;
38. What's your favorite sex act?
Anal by far, to the point I almost wonder if my dick gets lonely lolol
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
Quite a few three-ways, all very enjoyable. I hope to have more in the future. *grins*
40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
Most likely my mate, maaaaaybe a friend or two.
