Hello everyone, I need to ask for some help with some hospital funds that is coming in November. I managed to get enough for psychotherapy over on Twitter so I thought to pour over to FA to see if I can muster up any more help. I know I keep doing this but I still am suffering from a paycut due to COVID and hopefully to get paid fully by next month so I can cover my medical expenses. If you'd like to help, here's a link to my Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/sgbearista

Thanks for the help if you have contributed and please do spread the word if you can.

EDIT: Goal reached. Thank you to everyone who donated and spread the word. I appreciate it a lot now that I can afford the upcoming treatment!

I need help to afford my chronic illness medication. I still got a pay cut from my job as long as COVID-19 is still around so it's been troubling me. These medication are important as I need them to survive. It'll be a great help if anyone can chip in or spread the word about it. The link is: https://ko-fi.com/sgbearista

Thank you if you have spread the word or have donated any amount into helping me able to afford my medication.

EDIT: Thank you guys for donating. I am able to afford medication now!~

I have come to a point that I wrestle with my inner self every day. I have a voice in my head which now I dub as 'Lil Whiny Lazy Ass Bitch' who always wants me to sleep the whole day and not go to work and not draw and just not do all the things. Sometimes, they would want me to sleep in so I can Uber to work and what not and I have always been wrestling with it to shut up about all of it.

I want to be better. I want to go to work and I want to make a difference but sometimes, the voice is just too loud and tries to win over. It's annoying and I usually manage to win over the voice but it gets tiring listening to it every single day. I just wish there was some way to quieten down the voice because I don't need too much breaks, I need to draw and work as best I can.

*sigh*

I wish things would get easier from here honestly.

It's time to... identify what's been slogging me down.
Art. Art has been slogging me down.

Not art in particular but the looming tower of backlog has been breaking me. I have been holding this feeling in and it has triggered my depression countless of times. Telling myself that I cannot draw for the life of me because people would judge me for the art I owe. I am trying to catch up but now I am swimming in a pool of quicksand that's drowning me continuously. I feel like I get constantly judged all the time and it makes me feel scared to post art and to draw. I don't know what to do but to apologize countless and countless of times.

I don't know what to do at all because feeling this way has sometimes stopped me from drawing at all. It becomes not fun anymore to draw. It becomes more of a chore than anything else. I feel scared...

I am so sorry to have not drawn much. I am so sorry that I cannot be a well enough artist to chuck out artwork. I am so sorry that I keep falling down in the pit of despair because of it.

It's final. I don't think COVID's going to go away any time soon and that means my paycheck will continue to be cut until it's over. I don't think it's fair to be asking for donations constantly to fund up my healthcare bills and I have come to a resolution and a conclusion. I'll have throw in one more ball to juggle and that is to get a part time job alongside my studies and full time job.

It's going to be very tiring but I have to do it. I really have to if I am going to survive this virus financially. It's going to be tough and rough but I just have to do it no matter how tired I am or the consequences. I'd like to know what's everyone view on this personally and maybe somehow be able to share some feedback on some other ways you think I can deal with this.

I just hope I don't burn myself out to a crisp.

Hello everyone, I apologize for having to do this again but this is crucial for my mental health. Due to another paycut happening in July, I cannot afford psychotherapy fully tomorrow. I need some help with some psychotherapy funds to see a therapist tomorrow. Every little bit helps, you can help by making a donation and visiting my Ko-Fi link: https://ko-fi.com/sgbearista

I am tackling this problem by trying to get into another job that pays more and hopefully be able to understand my situation far better than my current employment. I thank you very much for the help, I really appreciate any little bit.

EDIT: Thank you everyone who donated. I appreciate all the help.

Living alone. I have lived alone for 2 years now in a room by myself with a landlord.

It's been interesting but I feel like I have yet to fully embrace living alone yet. I feel like there's more to learn and I always need some form of communication or people to talk to me. I feel like I need to properly enjoy solitude and not rely on talking to people too much. I mean due to time zones, I barely get the time to chat with many people online. I would be asleep by the time most of my friends are awake. Others might be busy and I can't always rely 100% on the help of others, I need to find a way to be by myself.

That's pretty much it, I just need to learn to embrace living alone and enjoy solitude. However, I am open to people wanting to chat if they want to. If you want my Discord or Telegram, you can note me.

Thank you for reading this if you did

So, it's been some time after my last post and I am very thankful for the help from those who donated to help out with my medicine. I am able to afford them comfortably.

However, I have received more bad news from my boss that the paycuts are going to continue as long as COVID-19 is around. It's highly unfair for me and most of the workers as well but there is nothing anyone can do. A lot of project sites have closed or are currently waiting for approval due to new COVID-19 measures which means we get lesser sales on that front. It's tough and it gives me a lot of anxiety if I can't earn enough money for the month or get retrenched in the end.

All this worrying is not doing good for my mental health because I am unable to do anything to change the situation and I feel responsible for it. I just wish there is something I can do ton help soften the blow at least from all these impending paycuts happening. The best thing I am planning to try is maybe skeedaddle out of the company before it happens. Maybe find a company that is able to support me better because 3 months with a massive paycut isn't going to cut it for me, what more that the paycuts are going to continue.

Right now, I am at a loss of what to do and end up just crying myself to sleep every night. I just feel lost of I need to do to make this situation better...
I don't know what to do...
I just feel like giving up...

Something's definitely wrong with me. Ever since the mental illness hit me, I felt like I have suffered some form of figurative brain death. My art skills has gone down. My ability to learn is slightly impaired, I have trouble memorizing ideas and creating them. I wish I can draw well most of the time but it feels like I need to re-learn how to draw again; especially with doing some posing and what not.

I am doing my best bit by bit to draw and just uploading as much as I can. However, July will be busy and school is going to swamp me with reports. I am sorry if I am slow with everything but I am trying my best.

Additionally, I need help to afford my chronic disease and schizophrenia medication. I have been hit with the recent paycut and am down several hundred dollars to afford the medication. I am out of government subsidies to use from due to how sick I got and after getting a CT scan earlier this year. I hope some of you are able to pitch in or at least spread the word. I need to raise about 350SGD to be able to afford it.

If you wish to donate; you can proceed to my Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/sgbearista

Thank you if you have donated. Every little bit counts.

As of 2nd June 2020, Singapore has exited their lockdown phase and workers are able to return to work provided we follow a set of safe manegement measures. This took a massive hit in the construction industry; the industry I am in because of the recent rampant infections coming from foreign workers living in dormitories in Singapore. Thus, there will be a lot of preparation for safe management measures I need to adhere to before we can proceed with any construction work that can happen in the coming weeks. Gosh, I am so overwhelmed with the oncoming regulations because I was appointed as a Safety Management Office for COVID-19 in my company; and I have no idea if I still receive a pay-cut.

Everything is worrying me right now. The state of the world. The state of my health. Trying to earn a living with the rampant paycuts due to the virus. I just feel like I am done with life and just want to drop it all at times. Whenever there is a time and need for me to talk to someone, I usually end up being by myself with no one talk to because of the damned time zones. At the same time, I feel like people are bothered with my problems so I usually shut myself up out of politeness. There's nothing I can do to shake off the feeling of anxiety and worry while hearing my voices constantly yell at me for noticing the most intricate stuff happening throughout my life.

I think my art sucks.
I suck at games.
I suck at my job.
I suck at everything.

Maybe I shouldn't just... exist anymore at times.
I just feel terribly worthless about everything.
I just don't know what to do and who to turn to...

Hello everyone!

I hope everyone has been staying safe during the lock-down. I, myself, have been doing my best to stay as safe as possible, only going out when the bear is hungry while being cooped up inside his cave for hours on end. However, I just want to voice out something that has been on my mind lately the past month and I just don't have the proper outlet but here to do so.

Last month was mentally exhausting. We're talking about, crying to sleep all night, random bursts of tears for no reason while being lost and alone with no one to talk to. It's been difficult and the medicine has not been helping me out at all, it's made me more emotionally numb than ever. It's made me stop drawing or even play games, I felt very stone-like during the whole time, void of any emotion. At the moment, I have changed my medicine and have been trying to get back into drawing again but it's going to take time.

It's like a rusty engine being started up and it requires continuous but slow revving to get to the point where I can work well again. I am slowly drawing out some commission work and Patreon work as much as I can. The worst thing that has happened to me is a massive pay cut in my job that only made me afford rental and phone bills. Nothing else. I wish I can get some help for that as well if anyone wants to do so but that will require a whole another journal to help around with.

Other than that, I just want to apologize if everything has been stagnant with me. I am doing my best to cope emotionally and mentally and I hope I have people I can talk to about it. Please take care of yourself and stay safe during this difficult times!

Thank you for reading through this if you did. It helps to know that people do read up and care~ :)

I'd like to thank everyone for the birthday wishes yesterday! Really appreciate all of it!

It's a special day for I have revolved around the sun 28 times~
Time flies so fast~

I'd like to share my experience with Schizophrenia. I have been diagnosed with Schizophrenia at the age of 8. I believed I had superpowers and I was psychic, that I could read other people's minds and people could read mine as well. I had this imaginary friend which began to stick longer than expected until now and their names are Abigale, Dorothy and Azalea.

===================================

What's it like living with Schizophrenia?

It feels like you're in your own world, separate from everyone else. As everything happens around me, it's like another set of events is happening inside of my mind. Every single day, my brain would be cluttered and I would have trouble speaking with people in terms of making sentences while focusing on a single train of thought. It's always like you're reaching out in a crowd where no one listens to you but everywhere, it's just noisy and no one is really listening.

I usually have to take my medicine every day and night to calm my mind and nullify the voices day to day and it's not a surefire 100% thing to get it treated, it only helps lessen the blow if a drawback happens. There are voices around me that I hear, auditory hallucinations. They are not the inner demons that everyone seems to visualize in comics but truly something I hear at any point of time. They usually talk to me about my day, ask me how I am or make passing comments on anything they seem to see. Other times, they usually criticize on my actions at random points and make negative comments on the things I do and it doesn't really help much with it.

At times, I will feel emotionless and null of any feelings. I have a creeping feeling of paranoia that people are out to get me, and at some point of time, I believed that there is a Discord group out there that is just there to belittle me or blacken my name. I have a legitimate fear that people are spying on me or using my friends to find out about the things I do, like people, everyone is out to get me. This makes trusting people difficult, this makes me difficult to have an open conversation difficult with a number of people because I feel like every new person that comes to me, seems to be hired as a messenger for the hate group. It's difficult to NOT believe that it isn't there, it's just... something I cannot... unthink about.

Every time I fail to do something, I usually think that I have lost my chance to get something I want, the voices will condemn me every single hour about the goal I failed and they would talk about how I would never get any more chances back in life. There will always be someone better doing my job and living is just not worth it anymore and that I have failed in life. It's why I tend to get very... suicidal and it's not the first time I tried to end my life several months back. It just makes me feel that life is not worth living anymore should I fail at any task.

===================================

How do you feel when you are first diagnosed?

It's difficult to take it in because schizophrenic people are portrayed as crazy people or murderers. I was ever being forcefully barred from using sharp objects when working at a Starbucks as they find out that I have schizophrenia and I was ostracized badly for it. I was even called crazy and lost to Satan by my family members once before because I was diagnosed with such an illness. I was reprimanded for not being religious and I was cursed. It didn't feel good and took me a great deal of time for me to open up and tell people that I was schizophrenic.

I feel broken every day as if my mind isn't working right. I keep thinking about how nice it is to not being schizophrenic; to live with a clear mind and to be able to enjoy things as they are. It's difficult for me to do so with all this unfocused thoughts inside my brain and the fear that always creep around me.

I try my best to live my life and spent the last 7 years looking for a psychiatrist that is willing to help me proper and provide me with a solution that can last long throughout it all. I am currently seeing a psychologist and a psychiatrist to help with the depressive thoughts and schizophrenic tendencies. I say that I have improved slightly from the past decade ever since I got to see them and I have begun to be more open with others about my illness.

I just hope that I am not seen as some murderous crazy person when I tell people that I am schizophrenic. I hope that everyone is able to understand.

===================================

What do you wish for people to know about you when living with Schizophrenia?

I want to be seen as a normal person that's doing their best to survive in life. I wish for people to understand about it more and why I tend to act certain ways. Sometimes, all I need is trust and support from people like knowing that I won't be betrayed. It's best to know that someone is there for me when there are difficult times to go through. Especially with the current lock-down happening, I am living a lot with my own thoughts and am unable to meet friends outside with respect to social distancing measures.

I just want people to be there for me as best as they can. Any form of support is appreciated, be it monetary, commissions, emotional; as long as there is support that you can offer. If you have read through this far, thank you for taking your time to understand more about me and my thoughts, and illness.

===================================

If you wish to know more about how it feels, please feel free to comment below and I'll try my best in answering them. As long as there are proper understanding about my illness, it gives me some peace of mind about it.

Once again, thank you for reading.

Hello everyone,

I am overwhelmed by how many replies and responses I got to the previous journal. I honestly didn't expect anyone to bat an eye at all when it comes to journals on FA because from my experience; barely anyone reads them. Especially with how slow I have been with art and how much I have owed, I expected people to lash out at me or not even care. I really appreciate and am grateful to everyone who read through the whole thing and are able to give me an opportunity to voice out and be listened to. Thank you everyone that responded and replied to the journal, I'll try my best to respond on my end as work and my day tends to get busy with the current projects we're having.

I went for my psychiatry check up yesterday; for those who don't know, they are vastly different. I go to psychiatry to get my medicine and get a technical check up on my mental illness whilst a psychologist would be more for therapy-based sessions. So, my anti-psychotic doses were increased to help with the hallucinations and delusions, which I hope should help me more. That's the good news of the trip, the bad news is that they have informed that my medical coverage for all my check ups from this point onwards has dried up. It means all my checkups will have to be paid at a full amount, thus, increasing my overhead even more. I might have trouble this month because it is unforeseen, so I have set up a new Ko-Fi to help stem the tide of the medical bills.

If you can help or chip in, you may do so here: https://ko-fi.com/sgbearista

I have an upcoming heart checkup this Friday and soon another checkup later in the month which have to be paid in full, so, I am worried that I may not be able to pay the medical bills fully. If anyone can help, that would definitely make it easy for me to go through my medical checkups.

Once again, thanks everyone for your support via IMs, Twitter, Facebook and FA Comments, I appreciate them very much~

Hello everyone,

I know that FurAffinity isn't a good place to vent out my emotions but at this point, it is difficult to keep the lid shut especially when it is boiling over rapidly from all that has been happening only in the first two months of 2020. The past two months and extended year, I have been pulled so far apart mentally; having to deal with schizophrenic episodes and dysthymia hovering throughout my thoughts. The best way I can describe it is being alone; but being alone in a crowd. You know people are there but whenever you try to cry out for help, you're unheard, set aside and you end up asking yourself if you're invisible to most other people or if you're seen from another alter ego instead.

I have been going through psychotherapy for about a year now and it has somewhat been helping in many ways but aggravated my mental health in others. I am constantly being told to learn to be alone by my psychologist, making it as if that maybe being alone is the ONLY way out of this mess. Learning how to deal with problems myself and not be with anyone else; as if being with others might pull me down even further.

Other aspects to why I tend to feel bad after discussing with a friends is that I tend to never ever learn how to take a break sincerely. The best example is what happened last week whre I was in and out of the hospital due to heart complications and a CT Heart Scan. I was given a set period of time to rest but I never did could honestly, like sincerely. I keep waking up in my sleep getting reminded that I have art to do or emails from clients to reply to, and it just bothers me a lot that the rest break I needed never got fulfilled. I never had any peace of mind and I just ended up crying in my sleep several times. It just feels that everyone is out to get me if I don't be productive. Everyone is just disappointed me and just laughing at how much of a failure I am in art and at my job. I just feel insignificant and pathetic really...

...and that feeling never went anywhere.

I don't know if I have the will to continue. I tried to commit suicide early January but only ended up in the mental hospital still alive. I don't like going to the psychward, it feels like a prison to me. I am scared of the psychward but I don't know if I have the will to keep on living anymore. It feels like I am suffering a lot mentally and I don't know where else I can turn to. If I need to get a psychotherapy done urgently, they would want me to be admitted into the psychward and that's not something I am willing to put myself through. I don't feel like I have any genuine support to where I want to be. I feel like I am always walking this path alone. I know I am whiny but right now, I really don't have any other place to vent out this emotion or frustration really.

I don't know what else I can do...

Hey everyone! I have been drawing but it's been quite slow. I do apologize if nothing's been posted because I just have way too many things to juggle about. I have been doing mostly sketches and inks as much as I can. I hope everyone understands about what I am going through.

If you want to see doodles and sketches, you can follow my Twitter: https://twitter.com/dralffeine

I will still be posting here but mostly I'd like finished works to be on here.

For several years, I have been fighting through many mental battles especially when it comes with dealing with how to manage finances and my horrible behavior.

As of recent, I have trouble waking up early resulting me in taking a hired driver to work and that has caused a lot of deficit in my spending funds. I cannot really sleep well for some reason; staying awake for hours on end before I can soothe myself proper.

I have been thinking about several stuff lately that I have pulled out of my life which I thought was unimportant. These are usually either leisurely things that I have either kicked the habit or find it too expensive to sustain.

============================================================================

1) Social Circles

I have not been mingling much with the guild as of late because I thought that it would be expensive to keep up with them due to needing to have at least a subscription game to tag along. We're currently playing through Final Fantasy XIV together and it has been quite a fun game to breeze through together.

Ever since I stopped hanging around with my guild, I usually come home to nothing and no one. It really depends honestly because sometimes I have someone I can talk to online while at other times, I am just kept on the wayside while everyone has their own groups to be around with. One of the goals I need to do is either to be with my guild or find a social group to mingle around with.

2) New Habits?

Remeber meditation? Remember me mentioning that I need to meditate? It's been an on-and-off thing for me and I really need to force in the habit somehow. I either just get so tired after a long day of work, I tend to forget or slide to the bed almost instantly. 

Same goes with keeping a diary or a planner. I just feel horrible that I am not able to accomplish such simple tasks that anyone can seemingly do and this has put a damper on my mood and self-confidence. I need to be more disciplined like I was before, more conscious of what I do and ensure that whatever I do, I follow through.

3) Where's the Art?

I just wish I have the support and motivation to continue doing what I love as well. Art's been a pain for me. I feel uninspired. I feel unmotivated. I don't feel like an artist anymore. I don't think people like me or my art at all at this point. I don't know how else I can explain it. Maybe it's because I didn't draw for myself. I just need to find some way to enjoy drawing again.... 

I wish someone can show me how...

============================================================================

I hope everyone is able to understand what I have been going through lately in 2019. It's something I want to fight for and something I want to obtain in the end. I hope things change for 2020. For the better at least.

Hello everyone!

It's been the end of the year and it looks like things are finally coming to a close to 2019. This year has been quite a very difficult year emotionally and mentally; I find that the meaning for it is that it is a time where I find some mental peace. I did because I found a psychologist finally after seems what 15 years. However, that's not the point of the journal.

In 2020, there are going to be some changes. Massive changes. I will be:-

- Downsizing Patreon
- Only opening Commission Specials like Inktober/Hoseptember
- Only opening theme-based commissions
- Only focusing on Patreon as a key side income
- Putting high focus on backlogs and continuing with them.

Reasons why I am doing such is because it's been rough to concentrate on art while having to focus on my construction projects. Rooms are getting bigger, buildings are getting bigger. Interior design for Jewel Airport, F1 Grandstands and various condominium apartments require more of my attention. I will also be focusing more on my education next year mostly upgrading myself in construction management and also, maybe driving licence. I understand if people are disappointed but honestly, having to go to work and come back home for art and school is extremely tiring. I have yet to get some proper rest without thinking about the backlogs I owe and the commissions I have to do.

So, from either next month or 2020 onwards, I will be making the changes and I hope everyone understands why. Don't worry, backlogs will have focus on this especially since it's what you've all paid and what I have already owed. It just means that now my time to complete them is more solidified and it will get done. Nothing new will come to replace it.

I hope everyone has a had good 2019 so far.

Diets have been a very unremarkable and annoying way for most people to maintain their weight and a healthy lifestyle. However, two forms of a diet helped me lose weight and approach life in a different perspective, they are keto diet and intermittent fasting. I was on that diet for 3 - 4 good months and was very happy about it.

The only reason it failed is due to the lack of support I receive from both my General Practitioners (GP) and friends. The GPs would usually say that my weight loss and healthy habits is due to the chronic medicine they give me and not what I did to change my lifestyle. As for my friends, it's due to being in a society that sees weight loss as a negative ideal is what pulls me back from wanting to lose weight. They have good intentions but it influenced me to not look at weight loss as something good.

The keto diet including the intermittent fasting has helped me feel better and healthy. I was less sick during the time period whilst also, having lost a good amount of weight along the way. I had more energy for exercise when I was slimmer. I just wish that I still have the support from others about weight loss as it made me happier with myself instead of feeling sluggish every single day I go to work.

Diets may in general not work for anyone but it worked for me and I wish to properly resume the diet I had in the past and lose back all the weight I have gained from falling off the trend. I believe in not the one true diet for everyone but how everyone is tweaked with their own set of diets like how a warrior uses axes and a wizard uses staves. Keto and intermittent fasting are what makes my life better. If it doesn't kill off diabetes but still make it prevalent, I am fine because the point of the diet is to change my lifestyle. I feel happier with myself when I do so and that is the most important thing.

I hope everyone is able to support my choice to diet once more and to live a healthy lifestyle for me as I am the sole breadwinner and down with chronic illnesses that affect my body greatly.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me so far. I do cherish it and I hope you will still continue to support me nonetheless.
— SGBearista/Dralffeine

Hi everyone! I understand if everyone's concerned about the state of Inktober. The reason I have fallen behind is due to being down with one of the worst fevers I have gotten this year. Right now, I will be doing my best to do multiple ones at once till I catch up to the date itself. Please bear with me while I make the plans and I will definitely do everything right on time :)

I will be opening a mini-Iron Artist for Inktober 2019.
Each slot will be 35USD each and you can buy as many slots if you want.
The turnover will be on the date of the Inktober itself. If you pick Day 16, it will be done on October 16th 2019.

1. Ring - ZRTFAT
2. Mindless - TYPHY~
3. Freeze - SOBAN
4. Chicken - HIPPOCAKE
5. Bait - NEMO
6. Husky - KIERON_59
7. Enchanted - JELE
8. Hungry - ZANDENEL
9. Swing - INFERNOFOX
10. Exhausted - ETHANDEGUISE
11. Snow - FISHINABARRREL
12. Dragon - COSMICDEVASTATION
13. Whale - EGK22
14. Dozen - firefang9212
15, Legend - NEMO
16. Wild - TEKSOMA
17. Swollen - NIDOFUR
18. Juicy - SLEEPDRIFTER
19. Drooling - ETHANDEGUISE
20. Overgrown - NICHARA
21. Treasure - NEMO
22. Ghost - ZANDENEL
23. Dizzy - SHINDENWOLF
24. Ancient - COSMICDEVASTATION
25. Chocolate - firefang9212
26. Cloud - TIGERINASCARF
27. Squeak - PSYCHOFLOATZEL
28. Stretch - TYPHY~
29. Thunder - FISHINABARRREL
30. Catch - INFERNOFOX
31. Ripe - SLEEPDRIFTER

Comment below on the day/slot you'd like to BUY and I will note you further on the details! First come first serve for each slot!~
If there is no sale on the slot, I will skip it and the day itself will not be drawn.

I am sick and tired of trying. I am just done trying. If this is what everyone wants then sure, so be it. I won't open commissions anymore even when I truly need the money to eat and pay for my medical bills. I don't earn enough from my job and I am already trying my bst to find a new one that either pays me better or gives me more time to work backlog and commissions but to no avail, still sending out resumes. I know people hate me and think that I am not trying my best or darnest to do everything. With school, commissions, work and family obligatons, I am stretched extremely thin and barely have even enough time for myself to rest or relax.

Just really let me wilt and wither. I don't think there's any support anymore or left within my spirits. I am sorry I failed everyone.

I deserve the hate.

I need help with medical bills for the hospital admission on 20th - 22nd August for psychotherapy.
I don't wish to open more commissions and owe more work to others. Do chip in if you can or spread the word.
At the moment, as of today, we're at 31% of the goal~

https://ko-fi.com/sgbearista

Thank you very much if you are able to help!

EDIT (27/08): It's now at 45%! Thanks everyone who has donated so far!

Hello everyone! Officially back from the hospital and will be in recovery up till 30th August! I managed to talk through several doctors and psychologists to hold some healing sessions and psychotherapy for the coming weeks. This means that I will have a psychotherapy sessions every 3 Wednesdays starting on September 4th,

Thank you everyone for your well wishes while I was away. As much as I have already returned, I need some time for myself to relax as even during the stay in the asylum. It was unsettling and it definitely made me learn new things about myself.

Once again, thanks everyone who were there for me all the way through.