Hey out there,
I right came back from Eurofurence 18. I got a lot of fun and still i feel as seven days just passed away like a single day, may two. Somehow I got the feeling I missed a lot, it maybe infact of my most friends are in the staff or secutrity and I couldn't follow 'em the whole time. So I really missed to see some friends of mine.
However. I met a lot of new friends and got some new connections. I was jumping around and done several stuff. Beside annoying people, I jumped around and ate with many diffrent friends, I got spend some cocktails, repaired a fursuit (gosh I'm so proud of it!), checked in some furrys (hah I'm a genius!) and done other DT normal like stuff.
I was only on friday really drunk. So good that Cheetah took care of me *giggles* Somehow I'm glad about it but also sad. However - thanks cheetah :P
But I also want to thank a lot the spanish furs I met. I don't remember every single name and I'm very sorry for it. But I wanna thanks Saberhagen to introduce me to them and I wanna thank Maho, Mantu and Blaze for the small cute gift. I was so glad. it made me so happy and I really love it. It's a small bandanna flag of Spain with some love greetings of the three. I'm also thankful for the nice talks with J'adoube and his mates but also the other two ones who didn't really seemed to speak english. They were still very gentle and I enjoyed the spainish talk between you guys.
I also met Kinase, Kiantis and alpha0 (or was it alphao?), some italian furrys. A nice group too even if I didn't talked as much to 'em like to the spains. We met on sunday o there wasn't much time left. However. I really like them and has a lot of fun.
From those european countrys over to scottland, netherlands and denmark I met a lot of other ones. I feel like I'm going slowly international :D But mostly I was hanging around with the german ones and kept annoying 'em and try to stay in touch especially those who I don' see so often. I missed you so much guys. specially ballo and tybalt. I really wanna try to visit you guys in ireland.

Well... Mostly I miss my boyfriend and I'm hoping so much, that we all see us again. I'm sad that I have to wait a long time to see a lot of people again but I will continue going to EF as long as possible. Mainly because of all those international stuff. roar ~

So far from me now.
I love ya all,

DT <3

From sunny days it's goind back to darkned days.
But not only the weather changes.. also stuff in my live.
I feel a bit down the last time.. And noe even one of my rabbits got ill :/

I hope it's not that worse... Will see it after I visited the doc. I'm mad from worring about him.

So far...

DT

Where are you staying?
Well, I'll stay at the Maritim Hotel. Seems I'm going with early arrival

What day are you getting there?
Tuesday

Who will you be with?
With my sister Pegasus.

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Oh.. I don' know. I asked beside my ol' friends a lot of unknown peoples and I'm looking forward. Actually Im a person whos running unstoppable around but I guess I may will hide behind others.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
Erm.. I guess not?

Are you attending any stage or public performances?
No?

Will you be suiting?
No. My Fur got lost so my partsuit didnt got ready :( I'm rly sad about it.

Which suit(s) will you be bringing?
Like I told: None, 'cause it's not finnished

Do you do free art?
Not at the Con. I want to make a break from all.

What is your gender?
I'm a female

How young are you?
22

How tiny are you?
1,76m

Are you taken? Are you looking for a 'mate'?
As long as I know I'm not taken.

Can I talk to you?
Well If you won't hug me first without asking I guess I'll be able to talk with you ;) I'm sorry if my english will be very worse

Can I touch you?
Well, pretends on the person and if I like you or not.

How can I find you?
Im unsure. It's my first Eurofurence.

Can I visit your room?
Why do you want to?

Can I buy you drinks?
Sure, if you like to. But don#t take it wrong if I may be too proud at first.

Can I give you stuff?
Stuff? What do you mean?

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
As I told befor: if I like you. Normal touching like a short toucha t an arm is okay. but hugs and snuggles are other thigns and pretends on person an liking :)

Are you nice?
I'm not sure. Actually I get mostly called 'annoying DT' so I'm unsure if I'll be nice in your opinion. I'm sometimes loud - well mostly.. that's how you could find me - hyperactive and in a good mood. But without cacao in the morning I'm a bit in a bad mood and sometimes I just have the bad mood. You'll see it on my face.

How long are you going?
Well actually I wanted from Wednesday to Sunday but it seems 'cause of my driving-team I'll be there from Tuesday to Monday @,@

Do you have an artist table?
No. I never asked and I never want to. I hope so oO

Do you have prints/CDs?
No. I'm not the person who likes to sell prints on mass. And of what should I make a CD? xD

Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
Yes. :) I'm glad that I got some place to hang it up. Mostly in the general section but i got a quarterpanel at the adult section. Some will be able to buy.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
You have to be fast to catch me and just say: Hey there, I'm xy

Where will you be most of the time during the day's?
Dunno ._. Where should I be at best? :/

What/where will you be eating?
Not at the Maritim <.< I do not have money like hell.

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc..?
Sure, if I know you or if whe're in a crowd of funny an' cool people :) I like to have fun and get known to others.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
Well.. I can't remember that I have a sketchbook where only I scribble in.

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Yes, I got a sketchbook for thing slike this :D If I do not forget it, you can.

Will you accept Commissions?
Over the Con? Nope.
Afterwards? Actually not. I got a long list I have to work down. But afterwards of course :)

Can I take your picture?
Oh please.. Only in a mass or when I do not see it <.< I actually dislike it but get along if I can't remember me - even if it looks funny or bad afterwards


Your DT

Or stuff like that x3

I finished some pics for MMc but I never took a foto of the other ones to show 'em up here or didn't loaded 'em up.
I do not take the time for it and also not for my study-work.
Semester is going to end and I still ahve to write a homework till June and another till July.
From Thursday to next week sunday I'll move back home and get my whole attention on the first homework. So some Commissions still will lay back and wait for me.
I still got the questions and asks. Made also some sketches for one but I'm not fine with 'em. I'll ask the commissioner if he may like one of 'em or not.

However. For some other pics you still have to wait. My studys has first priority as far as I can do that. Got strange learning methods and behaviours.
Hopefully I'll get it under a hat with my jobs later.. And also with my offered help to a friend that he will make the highest german schoolgraduation: Abitur (ABI).

So far,

DT

Sieben Monate.. Und jetzt vielen die Würfel.
Er mag mich, er mag mich sehr. Aber es reicht nicht für eine feste Partnerschaft. Er will weitehrin ein guter Freund sein. Er nennt mich immernoch Maus.. Die erste Kühle davor war danach weg. Warm und freundlich.
Denkt er ich bin dumm?
Ich habe vorbereitungen getroffen.. ich hatte es bemerkt.. Ich habe mich schon abgeschottet und wieder eine Mauer gezogen.. Sie wächst wieder... Ob ich sie nochmal einreiße? Wie lange wird sie dann brauchen um zu schrumpfen, wie klein kann sei dann werden?
Er ist ein idiot... Weil er mich maus nennt.. Ich verneine die Liebe die ich noch habe, um zu leben. Ich lache ihn an und gehe locker mit ihm um.
Meine Mimik ist aber erstarrt... abgekapselt und hart, damit es nicht durchkommt... Wieso nennt er mich jetzt noch maus?
Es tut weh ihn so reden zu hören... Es tut weh so an meine Zuneigung zu ihm erinnert zu werden.
Er soll es nicht sagen... Und dennoch, wenn er aufhört, dann würde ich es arg vermissen, diese spezielle Bindung...

Ich brauche Zeit, brauche Abstand.
Ich will nicht reden. Nur die kurze info reicht für jeden: "Es ist vorbei, ich hab den Kampf verloren."
Ich will kein Mitleid, keine guten Zusprüche, keine Diskussionen...
Ich will mich nur distanzieren.
Ich will mich davon abkapseln um den Weg wieder zu finden. Abkapseln, um mich nicht zu verlieren.
Ich will doch nur, dass es nicht so weh tut. Dass ich nicht daran kaputt gehe.. Wie oft habe ich gekämpft? Wie oft geweint.. Wie oft habe ich immer wieder den Satz wiederholt: "Wir sind nur gute Freunde?"

Ich bin kein guter Freund...
Ich sage nicht immer die Wahrheit wie er. So wie er es sagt, dass er es tut.
Nein.. Ich bin diesbezüglich kein guter Freund.
"Hi wie gehts dir?"
"Danke gut und dir? ... Du hast ein problem? Dannn erzähl.."
Und meien probleme?
Ungehört, indirekt.. abgestoßen.
Ich kann nicht reden, ich will wieder nicht reden.
Dummkopf... Nur wer von uns beiden? ich glaube ich.
Ja ich...
Es tut mir leid, ich werde dir in Zukunft kummer bereiten.
Ich muss dich blocken um nicht einzugehen anhand der Interessen der anderen..
Ich muss dich blocken, um nicht zu sterben, sollten wir uns körperlich wieder so nahe stehen wie sonst.
Ich muss dich blocken, um nochmal halbwegs... 'normal'.. mit dir umzugehen.
Ich muss dich blocken, um einen Weg zu finden nicht innerlich zu zerschellen, wie jeder es immer wieder tut... und gleichzeitig für dich da zu sein und mit dir spaß zu haben.

Ja.. Ich bin der Dummkopf,
weil ich dich einfach so sehr mag und Zeit brauche es nicht zu tun.
Ich bin der Dummkopf in vielerleih hinsicht.
Doch du bist ein kleiner Idiot, da du mich jetzt noch Maus nennst...
Es ist Paradox.. ich will das du es tust, mich so nennst.. ich will aber auch dass du damit aufhörst.

Es ist Paradox wie ich Lebe...
Am widersprüchlichsten ist mein Wille zur Sozialen Arbeit. Als mein Beruf...
Es lebe die paradoxe Welt!

It's some time ago since I posted here last.
I guess it's about 2 month, 'may less or more.
I started to study with March and live now in Bochum. A nice city between Dortmund and Essen. I really enjoy it to live without my family, have my friends who surround me. Doing some activitys with 'em and not being alone all the day again.
I eat less choclate.. Still at the same habits like always, Sometimes at university, sometimes when I work on a picture or so. But less in other time. That's pretty good for me.

I get along with the work. Sometimes I do less then I amy should, but how to get along with it? Working on pictures, meeting friends, working for the University. It's my first semestre and I decided to keep doing how I do untill I got my feedback from the marks. Then I can better say what has to change and what not.
Even if it's going on all pretty I got the feeling something else does not.
Beside some Problems with my feelings I slowly feel as I do wrong turns in my friendships with others. I got the feeling that I may talk wrong, like I would talk chinese.. May I'm still too childish or hurt someone without knowing. Replys from some friends are rude or harsh - I think so.. They act sometimes strange - I think..
It makes me unsure if I'm going a right way or may should try something else. How to change yourself? On one hand it is easy on other it's still not.
If I got failours then it is the following ones:
1. Talking without knowing what I said until it left my mouth.. - Yes, sometimes I say things befor I though about anything. It just left me.
2. Left power of observation. Things passes by and I do not register. I don't see if smth is wrong or not. If I did smth wrong or someone else. I do not realize my environment.. sometimes.. or even often.
3. Bein childish and hyperactive.. Say call me "DT is a pain". Slowly I'm unsure if it's still a joke or if they want to say me friendly that I do so. That I should get more calmed down. My parents told me so often, that someone wants to say smth when he or she re-echo it the whole time that I slowly think so.

Maybe the speech: "You're like an elephant in a porcelainshop" fits to me.
I do realise it today a bit more, may 'cause I study social work. It's my dream to get a social worker and help.. But if the three points are the case, am I still able to practice as social worker?
I do not find so many atitudes I shall have - and onc eupon a time I though I would have 'em..
It stucks me sometimes back when I think about it. Unknowing if I'm doing the right things or not. If my way is okay.
Is this allright or do I have still to change me in some things? And if I have to.. Can anybody tell me how?
It's hard to try to think more about what ya talking... I still fall in old habitutes.

So far,
DT

German

Mit dem Mittwoch und Donnerstag dieser Woche haben sich bevorstehende Veränderungen gefestigt und rollen stark an.
Es gibt eine lange To-Do-List die ich am liebstne sofort fertig gearbeitet habe.
Nun muss es aber step-by-step laufen - Teilweise korrekt und bürokratisch, teilweise so chaotisch dass ich kirre werden könnte. Vielleicht bin ich ja ein Kontrollfreak?
Ich habe am Mittwoch die Zusage zu einem Studienplatz erhalten und am Donnerstag es meiern Chefin erzählt.
Seitdem steht fest, dass ich studieren werde.
Kündigung geschrieben, Zusage erteilt, am Wohnungen rausfischen..
Noch gemacht werden ist:
- Telefonate wegen Besichtigung führen
- Di kommende Woche besichtigung machen
- Krankenkasse wegen Umstellung informieren
- am 22. mich einschreiben
- Wahrscheinlich das komplette Zimmer einpacken
- Vom Arzt untersucht werden
- Überweisungen für EF
- Überweisung fürs Studium
- viel zeit für das erste WE im März gewinnen :D

Ich denke es wird ne lange, anstrengende Zeit.
Aber wenn es geschafft ist beginnt ein neuer Lebensabschnitt.
Er ist sehr wichtig und wird was neues, vielleicht auch altes. Vielleicht langweilig oder neu.
Drückt mir die Daumen, dass ich meine Traumwohnung finde und mein Daddy sie mir zahlt <3

Schöne grüße,
eure DT


English
With the last Wednesday and Thursday in january I got some changings which are moving fastly.
I have a long To-Do-List which I should work out. or just done already, 'cause I post it a bit late here.
I got a letter from an University in Bochum and cried kinda 5 minutes of luck, sadness and some strange chaotic reasons.
Now I've to get ready some stuff like:
- Phoning around to see some Appartements 'cause I has to live there
- Tell some people that I won't work anymore and make soem studys
- write me in on the 22th this month
- Perhaps I've to get ready my whole room to get it with me
- Going to the doc
- Transfer some money to the University
- getting time for myself, the stuff and the March 'cause I got to do a lot there.

I got over the half but a lot has to be done.
It's very stressfull and sometimes I want to freak out but all in all it's working good.
So all in all I try to keep going and not to loose controll. Soon this stress will be over and a new part in my life will start.
Wish me the best for this lifepart.

Yours DT

The year just started, but I got a long list I want to do or ahve to do.
I fighted already last year in school for my dream. I got better and finnished the highest grade in germany with a good achievement - well it's a good one for me.
But still that allw asn't enough to go and study.
So I tried my best to get a place for a free social year and it worked.
Now I'm giving my best at work and fight for a place to study this year, around october. I rly fight for some things and important experiences and I hope it will work.
Beside that I decided to move to some conventions.
Actually I was only seen at MephitMiniCon (MMC) but this year I decided also to go on the RuhrCon and EuroFurence.
May some of you will meet me there, may not. Actually I'm very active and jump from one point to the other, but I fear a bit the mass of EF so I hope that I still get along.
Also I want to do some artwork.
I still got two open Commissions to do, but I need some stuff to get it ready.
For MMC I'll try to draw at least 5 pictures and put them in the ArtShow for sell. Three are on appers and have to be modified, so two are leaving, may I can make some more.
I also entered Project Naturama from Mutabi and offer there a commission. The money will be spended for animals. I'm quiet unsure if I will spend it for wolves or tigers. I just like both, may that's my problem.

So, that's what I'm working on and for this year.
Even if my year didn't started so good and I wish I could have overslepted the last three days. At work it got better and I'm quiet happy to have it. Ther eI can forget some of my problems and it gives me the feeling that I'll get the most of my dreams and wishes come true.
Please wish me the best for it. I want to move forward and not back anymore.
I'm afraid that I won't be able to study....

Yours DT

I got safely home.
The last four days I was off on a trip to a friend.
I really enjoyed it and got in time to him and back - the most trains are late or even get out of use because of the snow and the coldness.
The firt day was quiete good, but I guess he somehow feared that I could bored - or he just wanted to see as many friends as possible in his short holidays. So it came that we were visiting a friend of us in the first night and watched some films.
The next day we just drove back and enjoyed the rest of the day - as long as you can call it enjoy 'cause your parents gets on your nerves ^^
On the other day we visited another friend and watched again two films. My resulution of it is: Megamind sucks.
The last two days we were again with friends of him. He kinda looked strange while the four of us played Durak. He was right, that Tenny, Kiba and me will understand eachother perfectly, but I guess it was a bit too much when we said:
>You have to get on me!<
>Okay, now it's your turn<
And we just talked over cards o.ô On the other hand I guess he didn't really understood it ^^ - I mean the game.
I loved the chinese resturant we were going to and the Munchkin games afterwards were good.
I got a lot of fun the first time we played. The second I was kinda... Well, I was in some other dimensions ;) You'll see soon why.
And the three rounds after it were quiet fine but I guess I sounded really bored. I'm sorry for it. It just got slowly much and I got tired. I also asked: Why the heck should I show emotions when I'm on the way to win? It's like a suicide to grin like hell. better to look and sound bored - more effect when you can turn things around only by lying x3
I just won 4 of 5 turns and then quited.

All in all the Trip was good. I really enjoyed the time, even if it didn't looked always like it - I really did. I got far away from work, could do some personal things, manage some importants and got more comfortabled with all. I'm glad about the time. I'm happy that I made what I made and that I got the time to do it.
Thanks to everyone who helped me to enjoy the short time, who talked with me and just was with me.
Thank you guys, you are awesome.
And thanks a lot to the friend where I stayed. *hugs 'em*

DT

A well, may I'm a day too early for the msot of you. But in Germany we still celebrate Christmas today.
Since some days I got holidays and the time seems to run forward. There was a time when days passed by slowly and a great experience was christmas. Christmas still is somethign special for me, but this year I wait for a visit 2 days later. So the days who won't pass by will be the 25th and the 26th.
The last nights when I went to bed I always though about this little special trip. I lay in my bed and say always: Get going sleep, DT. You got time, don't make yourself crazy. Just go and sleep already!
There were times I still could say it hours over hours. And still they're even now, this times.
On the one hand I want to enjoy Christmas with my family. On the other hand I want to get all this over as fast as possible. Even the second christmasday.

However, out of my lil' timeproblems I wish you a merry christmas and take your time for your friends and family. Don't rush and give your best. Don't fight along, try to be calmed and enjoy this.
I wish you the best, hopefully I get the best back when I'll travel. I heard, that the trains don't work to 100 percent.

DT

Since I started my job at a factory for people with disabilitys.
I changed in the first 2 weeks the workplace and from my first fears I recovered shortly and got like always: Loud, tempered, funny, excited.
I really like my boss - I mean my direct one, who leads our little group of 8 workers. She's a good person and gives her best to make it as good as possible for her workers under these terrible conditions.
She really fights hard and gets mostly pushed back. But still she didn't gave up, even when she just decided to begin witht eh fight next year again. She taught me a lot and also we talked a lot. I could understand things better and got known to the other groupleaders. The most of them are really nice, and the ones who ar eclose to her, are like guys who stands behind me and will protect and lead me. This let me feel really good and I get the energy and fun to keep cooperate with the people and give my best.
Somehow it's a work. My boss told me: "If you see it as a work, then you're at the wrong place." But I dunno how I should name it else. On the one side it IS my work. On the other side that ARE people who I really like - just like coworkers sometimes even a bit like a friend. So I say always work.. But that isn't negative, this word. For me it's mostly positive. Maybe the reason why I like to call it work, 'cause it is a hard work for me which I really love. I always wanted to be helpfull and make something social and now I just DO IT. I really DO it.

The last weeks were very pity and noisy. Even when I learned a lot, I still have to learn much more. I realise it everyday. Mostly when I talk with my boss. She shows me her view of points and I'm quiet fascinated. She got so much understanding for so many sides and I mostl have to agree in what she says. If I didn't saw it in this point of view befor, I understand it after she talks with me about it. It's realy helpfull, but still I got problems with materialising the theory in praxis.
I get it hardly shown when the situation escalates.
I'm energetic, ambitious, get mostly fast the understanding of how things works and give my best. That are good attributes.. But not if it really got one lil' problem.. Then I turn crazy.
I get stressed, tempered, sometimes harsh in givind advices and fast in repair.
Actually the last point isn't bad, but we got a group who has to work slow, for their own health, so it is bad.
And the weeks were full of stress and problems. In work and also in social themes. I already lost my nerves completly and so I looked forward for every weekend and now for our freetime between Christmas and new Year.
I'm glad about the time out and free time. I really need it. I told already my boss, and she told me kinda same.
So I'm glad that I'm not alone with it but I know also, that this will return one day. I'll see forward and give my best. I really hope that I get more calmed down in stress situations. I really think, that this work can help me to get more calmed and see easier other points of view.
I got told that I got the something for social work... But I still know, that I have to trian and spezialise it. It's still not good enough, but I think I have the time to get along and keep learning. I'm just at the start of the work I dreamed of.
I'm glad that the stress is over - for now.
Soon is Christmaseve and my Birthday. Wish me the best, I got soem things to do and want to see some people I really like and love. I'm really glad and happy at the moment. I do like my live right now. I love the people arround me, even with my family I get better along. Yes.. Im happy with my life, I wish you can have this moment too.
My wish for Christmas?
That this part of my life, won't get too fastly forgotten and that my heart will keep the warm breath of it.
My wish? I'm kinda wishless.. Somehow. I just wish me the best for the others. I hope you'll have the best at the moment.

Yours DT

Well, after a long time I though I make my first Journal entry. And I also though that I should say a few things about me.

At first I'm glad that I finally could register here. I tried it some years ago but at that time I was a bit.. silly - to silly to do it right ;) So I just ended up here right now.
I'm 21 and finnished my school this year. Actually I wanted to went to the college but I didn't got a place this year and I'm looking right now for a social year. I like to work with humans and it got a real dream for that I'm fighting hardly. I got a lot of discussions and desputes with my parents, specially with my father because of that but I won't give my dream up.
I draw since I'm 15 - I guess it was around this age. A known artist - called Silber - told me that I got potential. it made me so proud that I kept drawing and gave my best to get better in it. It was my way to talk about my feelings, my doings and how I define myself. With the time I also wanted to touch people and sometimes i still make it. With the Art Requests and Commissions I've done till now I got always the people to smile and that was the best payment I always got.
My furrybeeing developed witht he time.. I entered the internet when I was 12, closely 13 and with 13 and a half I entered the furry fandom. In the time between 12 and the entering it got out how much I like to be and feel like what I am: a wolfcat.
Back there I was one of the youngest Furry, like a lil' puppy. But everyone took care of me and where friendly. So I developed well and got good friends there. I visited my first Con when I was 16 and since then I didn't missed one MMC. I was traveling around in germany since I'm 15 - got used to it and to love it. I got far away from home and was able to get some peace back in my mind. The most pocketmoney I got got spended for Meetings or Events but I still think it was good how I did it.
So, I just ended up here right now :3
I'm one of the few female gendered - but we got more with the time and one day we'll take over the world *hrhr*. I get mostly called DT in the fandom. Only some old friends keep calling me Tigga. But if you shoudl visit a german con you'll also hear DT nervt. Cause I'm really getting on the nerves of my friends. Still I'm glad that they accepted my charakter and being.

I guess that's it. If you got any questions feel free to ask them.