Ugh

Hi lovelies!

I'm trying to catch up with my backlog of submissions here, which means you may have experienced a bit of an image dump.

I'm not doing any more today, and future submissions will be done in smaller batches.

Nonetheless, I hope you like seeing some of my art again finally!

Are any of my followers still active here?

I really need to try harder.

Immigration stuff for my husband has run into more issues and uhhh

I don't want to get into it too much but even in the best case scenario we are going to be out of a lot of money


a lot

If you want to commission me, please consider doing so now.

It is... pretty much needed.

Commission info: http://drawitout.deviantart.com/art.....OPEN-610232245

I really appreciate FA doing so much to protect us all. It delayed this journal a bit but that's ok!

I have big news for you guys! I finally am able to reopen commissions for digital art!
Please do look at my newest submission for more info!

Thank you! <3

So financially things are kind of the worst they have been, due to many, many vet bills (with another to come tomorrow) due to my special little pupple, aaand all the dental stuff my poor husband needs which of course isn't covered.

I... I now have a "Buy me a Coffee" link to add to my page (which is actually for grocery money - not coffee. I assure you.), but I should also let you all know in advance that in the middle of this month or so I'm going to be opening digital commissions.

I've been practicing drawing lying down every day and I do believe that I've gotten proficient/reliable enough to offer them again.

This message is going to be cutting off here because I am in terrible pain today for no clear reason lmfao.

Hope you're all doing okay.

Things aren't getting better.
Shit just keeps being added to the pile.

I'm tired, and my depression and anxiety are getting bad.

I'm...

idk.

Don't expect me to be around here, ok?
It's stupid to keep updating when everything just keeps getting worse.

[9:06:12 PM] Kai(al): OH MY GOD I JUST LEARNED ANOTHER OF MY GRANDMAS HAS ALS
[9:06:16 PM] Kai(al): WHY WHY WHY
[9:06:18 PM] Kai(al): WHY

i don't understand
how everything is going wrong

And to just add to the shit soup

My dear wonderful husband needs surgery.

He's American and our Visa shit is taking forever so he has no healthcare.

When will this all just stop?
My poor bun...

My doctor wasn’t in so there was a sub I’d never seen before… which means she went over my history and then sped me through the rest because appointments are timed due to doctors here being in high demand and always overbooked.

I have blood tests again. For the same things I always do.

The answers will be negative for thyroid issues, slight anemia (which is always being treated and I really doubt is the issue), no nutritional deficits otherwise, like always I do presume.

I did get a referral for an ultrasound which is new.

She couldn’t do prescriptions for me though.

Ended up on the concrete several times on the way home and collapsed on the stairs once I actually made it there lol…
I’m so tired.



On a different note I'm very aware that like, almost all of my journals have been decidedly negative.
That's uh, unfortunately just how my life has been. Honestly at times I'm looking for advice or even support given that everyone in my life is suffering alongside me for most of these things and thus... nobody's very strong right now.

Nonetheless, if my journals are only depressing, please just tell me and I'll stop posting them.

I just found out one of my favourite people in the world, my grandmother Heather, has had a very sudden and rapid decline into Alzheimer’s.

She no longer remembers who I am.
I am so incredibly sad

She means the world to me, she's the sweetest woman
she isn't related by blood, she was actually my "aunt" when I was little because she was so close to my mom
but then my uncle married her daughter and so she became my family on paper
When I was in the hospital for like a month she would always visit me
My heart's breaking right now honestly

I just was trying to draw a bit to distract myself... only to look back and realize I was drawing a fairy.

Reminded me of the aforementioned hospital. I drew a lot when I was in there. Once when she came in I'd been drawing some kind of alien woman.
She said it looked like a fairy and I kind of laughed, then told her I'd draw her a real fairy.

I did and gave it to her, only to learn later she not only kept the drawing but had it framed and displayed it in her house.

I can't help but wonder what she thinks now when she looks at it.

Remember my kitty who had severe lung problems, and who I was desperately trying to raise money to help pay vet bills for last year?

He had his checkup today and... he's in exquisite health now. His medication has been working and the only thing he has to show for his condition is a barely detectable rattle in his right lung.

Aside from that his weight is perfect, he's well hydrated, and just the picture of health overall.

Molly, who we had a health scare with around Valentine's Day, is also responding well to her medication and the difference is just amazing so far - I'm excited to see how much more she'll improve.

I'm really grateful to everyone who's helped me out whether through commissions or signal boosting, and I do mean that.

Thank you so much!

Life is still... not the best. Been very askew mentally and not up to much.

I'm getting stress ulcers now so... that's... new.


I dearly hope you are all doing okay.

www.gofundme.com/asq4hw6k

My friend is having a very rough time, and if you could spread the above link around or even donate you could make a huge difference.

(Please note, this gofundme was made by another friend - not me. If you have any questions for me please ask them here or via note.)

So many people ask me in jest if I've been cursed when I talk about what's going on in my life

Somehow things just keep getting worse and worse, you know?

I want to make a happy journal but I can't



I guess uh...

I'm near 100k pageviews on dA so if someone here manages to grab it you can get a request. Here's the bare-bones link:
http://drawitout.deviantart.com/jou.....100K-589557221
That's some good news at least, right?

I've wanted Fantasy Life for 3ds since it was released.
Buut I'm poor, so I never went for it.

It was on 15 bucks off via digital download, so last night I splurged at got it for 31 bucks or whatever. Played it a lot of last night, played a bit this morning...

And the circle pad cracked.
It's impossible to use it.

This new game relies entirely on the circle pad to move (arrow keys are used for gestures, not walking) and has live combat and so on. I can't play it, or most other 3ds games.

To have it properly repaired is over $100.

We literally don't have that money.

/falls on side


AND I WAS ALREADY FEELING GUILTY ENOUGH I SPENT 30 BUCKS ON A GAME GDI


I still don’t even have a phone that can make phonecalls

I haven’t had one since the middle of fucking December

why is everything breaking jesus fucking christ what’s going to be next

I do indeed have some weird infection

I have a worrying mark on my stomach they want to check for cancer (not really a huge deal - had this happen before)


I have somehow lost weight and am 116-117lbs at 5'7"

k

My computer screen was getting really bad again. The flicker was back with a vengeance and it was getting to the point that I couldn't read text.

But my wonderful husband reached over and PUNCHED IT WITH ALL HIS MIGHT

And he fixed it.
With one punch.


Must resist urge to make OPM joke.

Whatever you celebrate, lovely people, I hope your next few weeks are wonderful.

Things here are... okay? Some not too fun stuff has been happening atop of what I've already mentioned, but we'll manage. We always do.

I will likely not be submitting anything in the coming weeks, so please don't expect Christmas presents from me or anything.
I just can't, I'm sorry.

Look after yourselves, okay? <3

Things that have either broken or drastically diminished in capability yesterday:

-My favourite pair of glasses

-My 3ds

-My phone

I'm still working on the last of the commissions whenever I can.
Aside from some rather crappy 1 minute doodles on MS Paint that's it in regard to art.

Laaame, maaaan.


But how are you lovely people doing? What's new in your lives?

Bad News in the Family
Journal Entry: Fri Nov 13, 2015, 2:53 PM



I don't want to get too into it, but to put it simply someone I love dearly is very very sick

Not doing too well right now, lots of crying and being very scared for the future

Don't expect much from me for a while


I'm considering offering refunds on the emergency commissions I took on.
Commissions that do not currently at least have a sketch made have been refunded.
This is taking too long and skyrocketing my anxiety, etc.
And with how things have gotten I don't think I can be reliable until spring 2016.

Today is Thanksgiving in Canada, and what a perfect chance it is to say;

Thank you so much to everyone who helped me in this recent tough spot, be it sending money, signal boosting me, or whatever else.

It honestly has made a huge difference for me and my little family.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much.

Soo as many of you know I am saving up money for my cat's X rays/possible operation.

I uh.

I got a letter from the government today that has informed me they are charging me almost $200 for their mistake. I need to pay immediately or blahblahblah probably people showing up at my house.

I also have been billed three times by my dentist to pay for an appointment I paid for BEFORE I EVEN LEFT THE APPOINTMENT

I don't have money for this

I'm so stressed I can barely breathe

TL/DR I'm being forced to pay about $250 that I don't have, for things that are in no way valid or even my fault.
This is alongside $300 dollars tomorrow for my cat and between $300(+100 per month or so)-$3000 dollars for his treatments beyond that.

I really don't have that at all and I just want to curl up and scream until I pass out at the moment

god help me

Aaa


Commissions are still open to those who have the means. I have an injured arm but I also rather... need them...



Edit


Ranger had his X rays today and I'm incredibly thrilled to report that he does not need surgery!

I've bought him medication for his newly-diagnosed asthma and am just waiting on the specialty spacer he needs (you have to like, put most of the cat's head in it. It's weird but I mean it needs a seal, y'know?)

The medication isn't cheap but is of course much more manageable than surgery that costs thousands of dollars.

/relieved exhalation

Mind this doesn't really change the aforementioned government crap or the fact I needed to uhh loan someone some money today ahah but it's a HUGE relief and I'm so incredibly happy my cat will be okay.

I hadn't realized just how much stress I'd been carrying around worrying about him until the doctor told me he didn't have a partially collapsed lung as they'd feared.

Ohh man

My cat needs X rays and possibly also lung surgery, and I NEED MONEY!

FULL COLOUR, FULLBODY COUPLES COMMISSIONS FOR $30!

This special will run from today until October 15th!


Your choice of traditional or digital!

Slots are UNLIMITED BECAUSE AAA I NEED MONEY FOR MY ANIMAL CHILDREN!

1: Zenelle on FR, "Druan with wing over Ares, snuggled/sleeping, no smoke on Druan, no apparel, downy fox rat snoozing nearby" (don't forget scars)
2: Asoldius
3:
4:
5:
(etc)