12 hours shift. 9 days and 2 nights straight with no holidays in between. ( THEY GIVE ME NIGHT SHIFTS TOO! )

I stood all day today. No sitting around, ( well, accept sitting in the restroom, you know what I mean. )
I'm not tired, I can still go on, by my heels hurt so bad that I want to start walking on all four....

and I get only 4 days after all that before university starts the next semester.

( One of the four days is already scheduled with something important. )



Heh, so much with art.

Don't worry, I'll HAVE to finish at least these in the list.

 triggur coloring.
 drawolftiger a gift art is planned.

Forget personal art. :I damnit. I can't even have lunch breaks properly.


I'm absolutely not accepting new orders.

 triggur coloring.
 drawolftiger a gift art is planned.
 drawolftiger I want to draw a personal art....


I'm not accepting new orders.

 triggur inked! coloring.
 drawolftiger a gift art is planned.
 drawolftiger I want to draw a personal art....

I SURVIVED! I survive not sleeping enough for WEEKS!

It. Was. Not. Fun.

Anyway, I'll start drawing again.

I'm not accepting new orders yet, I'm sorry, but I'm not quite "free" after exam. There will still be internship in a vet hospital.

Would you like to see the photos?

 triggur sketched, paused.
 drawolftiger a gift art is planned. but will not start doing it, yet.

Final exam is next week, and will last for 2 weeks.... I'm at a critical situation of not-enough self-studying. I'm forced to pause all artworking.


I'll be back on Oct 7th.

I do not accept new orders at the moment.

 triggur inking
 drawolftiger I'm planning to draw a gift art for someone... but I'm not doing it yet.

The gift art could be yours! who knows! >8D I'll keep it a surprise!

I do not accept new orders at the moment.

 triggur inking
 drawolftiger I'm planning to draw a gift art for someone... but I'm not doing it yet.

The gift art could be yours! who knows! >8D I'll keep it a surprise!

I do not accept new orders at the moment.

I participated in a gift exchanging project called "buddy" in a Thai furry forum. The theme this time is "Buddy in Game".

( if you remember, my submission is a robot dragon in Ace Attorney game. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5581725/ )

and I finally got mine!

Look!

http://i1199.photobucket.com/albums.....uddyingame.jpg

It's the most awesome buddy gift I've ever get since I play in this project!

It's done by "Puretails", he drew me as the Assassin in Assassin's Creed game. The background is my faculty, the faculty of Veterinary science.

And I look SO ready to slice someone....someone's something. ... something that you know what.

Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee




Oh,  hooves's commission is inked, now coloring.

 drawolftiger Personal art is done.
 hooves Starting sketch.

My commission status will remain open, but please note that I can only do one artwork at a time. So if you'd like to commission me when I'm doing other's art you'll just have to wait. Either wait until I'm finished before ordering, or just order me right then, and I'll put you in the waiting list. ( but there will be no progress at all until it's your turn. )

...because  lafeel's commission is finished!

open close open close open close.........
Mood swing Tiger is having mood swing.

hang with me plz.

 lafeel sketching


Also, art block is back. Again.

And school work starts to come back earlier than I expected it to. Now I'm back to struggling with studies. Again.

*sigh*


...Again... I will have to close the commission status sooner than I promised I would. I'm sorry.
I will finish  lafeel's work of course, but I don't want it to look rushed and fucked up by my art block. This is going to take longer than it should be, longer than I think it would.

I'm so sorry for all of this.

I have finished those midterm exam. It was very tiring. but it's worth the hard work. :)
Now that I got some free time. I'm glad to announce that...



I'M ACCEPTING NEW COMMISSION ORDERS! Only in this Month! ( To 1 September. )



For those who have been waiting for this.... BE FAST AND GRAB ONE!

That was....a masterpiece of art, not just some stupid game.

and I cried, and cried, and cried at the ending.

( yup, I slack off my studies. now I have to catch up for the lost time. )

 hidan Finished! :D

If you'd like to commission me next, please keep in mind this information;

All commission works will now be postponed to next month. I'm having an epic midterm exam at the end of this month, so. My commission status is temporary closed.

I was out to get some laundry, I saw a little feathered sparrow chick trashing around on the ground. I tried to look for the nest but I couldn't find it. I pick it up. Walked into my house, fetch some water and a straw.....

the bird died.

What...did...I....do....wrong!?


commission status
 hidan Inking!

I'm currently accepting one commission at a time. :)
If you're interested, please wait for me to finish this one first.

 hidan payment received.

Class have started for a month. and I think I'm settled and I would be comfortable to accept commissions again.

However, with limited time I have, the commissions will be finished slower and the price is going to be pushed up a little to make this activity worth my time and effort.

What do you think of my new prices? Please see below and comment. ( Is it too expensive ? )

For so many times, in my path of study to my dream job... I feel conflicted.

I have killed so many.
I have hurt so many.
All for the name of Education. I vowed to pay them back when I become a real vet. I'll save so many animals in my life time.

I've done it so many times that I sometimes... feel nothing. ( and later feel bad for not feeling anything. )


ok, enough with the intro. Here's the real story that make me feel down.


Today, my teacher told me stories about his personal experiences. He's teaching about "patience" and "proper manner of communication" to clients.
Many stories are funny, like short-tempered clients who swear at everyone in their sight (and how to handle that situation) , or clueless clients who are not the pet's owner and know nothing about the patient (and how to get enough information to diagnose), or bad examples of vet's manners (and their consequences).

Then there was this story;

There was a white woman with a cat. She wanted the vet to spay the cat.
He examined her pet, and found that the cat was pregnant.

According to Veterinary ethics, we will not spay pregnant animals. Because by cutting off her uterus, all the unborn kittens will be killed.
So he refused.
She demanded that the vet spay her cat, or else she would drown her.

If you were the vet, what would you do?
...



...
The vet had to follow the ethics and stood his ground. He refused to spay the cat.

The woman stormed out of the clinic. and came back later without the cat. Asking the vet if he was satisfied that the cat was then drowned along with the kittens in her womb.


My teacher then stated that, according to the laws, pets are belongings. You have nothing to do with what the clients do with their pets. In this story, what the woman do was not the vet's responsibility. The vet did the right thing and there was nothing he could do except curse the woman in his mind, and in the mind only. You must never speak it out in front of the client. You must always keep emotions away from such situation.

Whatever her religion was, may the god, or the gods, or the karma punish her.
If she's not religious at all, then may the cat's ghost haunt her for eternity.

That's all the vet can do.


And after I hear this story. I can't help but feel conflicted. What would I do in that situation? Would I kill the kittens to save the mother?
Or would I just push it out of my responsibility and let the mother suffocate to death?

Will I be strong enough to stand my ground?
Will I be strong enough to hold my emotions?

...Will I be strong enough to not personally beat the crap out of that client?

Will I be strong enough...to be a good vet?

.......what is "a good vet" mean?

I don't know anymore.

I studied Anesthetics today.
I was anesthetized. lol. .....can't....stay....awake...........

My commission status will not be re-opened any time soon. I almost feel like I'm being force fed with information at the university. I just don't have the energy left to draw anything.


I still can't believe that there are this many people who has the same fetish as I do. I always thought I was alone until I found Charn. :) I now have more than 100 watchers. Thank you everyone!

Also, some people might notice that there are many negative comments on many artworks in my gallery. I'd like my watchers to not be rude to them. :) All of them are polite so far, I want to be polite to them also. We need to be mature and we don't need to start a drama because the majority of people aren't into the same fetish as we do. ( Which is nothing surprising considering that our fetish is very bizarre. )

Just in case someone started to be rude to me in the future. I'd like my watchers to simply ignore him. Do not argue with the person. I will be the one to talk myself. I'll tell you then if I need help.


Thanks everyone!

Why are people like to commission me when I'm running out of time?
And no one wanted to commission me when I had plenty of time?

Commission status :

 theultafox money received, sketching, random fox on table

3 2 1 Done!

There, those who have not sent me the interest notes will not get a free sketch anymore!

Thank you guys! :D


Commission status :

 paradim FINISHED! Waiting for free sketch idea. :)
 cheetahlover Sketching.
 itoril Discussing. I am sorry to say that you haven't ordered me in time. you will not get a free sketch. ( he just said he's interested, but didn't tell me anything else.... he disappeared. )

Also, after serving me for 4 years, my tablet is about to die. New orders will have to be denied or postponed. I cannot accept anymore. :) sorry!

Buddhist teachings can apply to all worlds. I have just realized.

"บัวสี่เหล่า" or "The 4 types of lotus" is what I have in mind. I didn't think of the possibility about how true it is also on the internet world.

Once upon a time, I forgot when. The Buddha was upset because he felt that he failed to teach some of the people to become better people.
And then he saw the lotuses. He then understand a fact of life.


There are 4 types of people, They can be compared to these lotuses.

1. The lotus that sprouted over the water surface - This type of lotus will bloom after receiving just 1 light. Just like some people who would easily learn a lesson after just teaching once.

2. The lotus that sprouted right at the water surface - This type need a few lights to grow and bloom. Just like some people who need to be taught a few times before they can learn something.

3. The lotus that is still under the water surface - This type need several lights to grow and bloom. Just like some people who are harder to teach, but still possible to be taught. They just need more work and must struggle more than others.

4. The lotus that is buried under the mud - This type will never grow, They are only to be fish food. Just like some people who are impossible to teach. They will never touch the light no matter how hard you try. They are destined to rot as an ignorant.

With that, he let go of the matter and not upset anymore.


I have never imagined what the forth type would be like. Now, I have met them. Thanks to the internet.

I will do like the Buddha, I'll let go of the matter and not upset anymore. Although it's easier said than done. I'm just a normal person, not a monk. but I'll try to calm my mind. Some meditation will do.

I can't believe I've been fighting for 3 days. Wasting time completely over nothing. When some people are too close-minded to see my point.
When some people are disrespectful, rude, close-minded, insensitive, dull, apathetic, heartless, and also expect other people to be like them.
When to some people, "respect" is not a common sense.
When "hurting others is wrong" is not a common sense.
When it's the victim's fault for feeling offended. Not the culprit's fault for offending others. "Because hurting other people is normal."
When supportive commenting is called "asspatting".
When supportive people are called "white knights".
When they threatened people to "grow a thicker skin or leave the internet" when a people stated that they are offended by what they do.

There is nothing you can do in this kind of messed up world. I have just realized that I have been yelling at deaf people, writing at blind people. They will not listen to any reason.

If you are a parent, please remember this and teach your kids to not be like this.
If you are a kid, please remember this and NOT be like this.


The previous ***** Journal of mine have been deleted after receiving more than 100 comments. I have to thank you to both the agreeing and respectful disagreeing comments. ( Yes, there are respectful disagreeing comments. I really thank you for that. We had some good discussion with no swear words in it. Thank you for making me feel like I could ask you for suggestions. )


I have been struggling because I couldn't understand why people are so... like this.
In Thai, there is a word "เกรงใจ" Which means "to care for other people's feelings". I can't seem to find the fitting word in English.

Right, there is no such word. So much culture shock. I don't think I can live anywhere outside of Thailand.

Last week, I lost my wallet.

I looked everywhere but couldn't find it. I asked random strangers and most of them helped me. Some even helped me dig the trashcans including ones in restrooms.
They didn't even have to. I have nothing to give them in return. So why do it?

...because they "care". They know what it feels like for someone to lose a wallet.

Then, a person found my wallet.
I can't believe that the finder would even bother to go through so much trouble just to find me, so he can return it. Why? because he "care".
He couldn't find me, but he found my faculty that he read from my ID card and student card.
I wasn't there, I was out canceling ATM's card for security. so he left my wallet in my senior's "care".
My senior went through the trouble to find me, She didn't find me but found my classmates instead.
My classmates went through the trouble to find my numbers and call me to get my thing.

I rushed back to receive what I thought I have lost forever, after just 4 hours of missing.
I found everything was still intact. After this wallet of mine have passed through so many stranger's hands, Not even one Baht went missing.

None of them had to do what they did. They could have just took the money and throw the wallet away. However, none of them did so. Even though they didn't get anything in return except for my eternal appreciations and thankfulness.

So why do it? Why help a stranger like me? Why dig trashcans in restrooms for someone they haven't ever met before?

Because Thai people have so much generosity, so much "เกรงใจ", so much "care". We have it so much that it is very normal. We always put others' hearts into ours. We treat others like how we wanted to be treated. Whoever lack "เกรงใจ" will be damned for eternity from the society.

With this one word that only exist here, the world that I live in is a very wonderful place.
I may seem to be living in an ideal world. But this is real. This is the world that I've grown up in.




I have been rudely awaken up, the rest of the world is different. So much culture shock. I am shocked. I've had many culture shocks before. But never before that I am this shocked.



What have the world become?


On a little note just for FA.
I'm beginning to love FA more than DA. People I have met so far are so open-minded.
None of you ever say bad things even though I draw something that is totally freaky.
To most people on FA, the phrase "don't like it, don't look at it" is still a common sense here.


COMMISSION STATUS

 paradim sketching. I'm sorry for so much delay. I can't spend a minute without being tornado'd by hordes of trolls.

http://kidatecalf.deviantart.com/ar.....ltie-209912469
http://drawolftiger.deviantart.com/.....rnal/40816031/


What have DA become? a dramatic place?

I have never seen people who have absolutely no common sense about living in this world.

They don't even recognize "hurting people is wrong" as a common sense.
And the keep claiming that "This is the internet, I can say whatever I want, I can do whatever I want. I don't care if I hurt people, If that person gets butthurt then get the *** out of the internet."

Since when drawing such insulting thing is an okay thing to do. Just because "other people are doing it: doesn't mean anyone should do it too. People are killing people everyday, Does that mean killing people is okay? NO!

Sigh... I'm so tired of fighting with this.

http://comments.deviantart.com/5/40.....031/2011170064

"respect" is something everyone should have. Yet, they don't.
When someone got mad, they reply with "grow a thick skin." or "grow a pair" or "Can't take it? leave the internet."
When someone supports the victim, they call that person "asspatting"

http://comments.deviantart.com/5/40.....031/2013295530




What has the world become?

 paradim sketching.

 paradim sketching.

My vacation time is ending on June 6th. or 2 weeks from now. And this is probably my last long vacation I'll ever get in my entire life. ( "No school break next year", my vet teacher said. )

I have no idea if I'll still be able to keep offering commissions then. I'll become super busy like I always was, not to mention less private time to draw adult rated commissions.

SO I'm offering to any person who contact me for commission within 1 week from now!


From May 22th to 29th, NEW COMMISSIONERS WILL GET 1 FREE SKETCH FOR EACH COMMISSION ORDER!


That offer only includes 1 character in it and no bg. If you'd like a sketch of more than 1 character or if you'd like me to add a bg, please kindly add $2 in the payment for each extra character and bg. (I sound stinky, but this is to prevent me from having to draw a dozen of characters for free. )

If you order 2 commissions, you get 2 free sketches ( or 1 sketch of 2 characters, your choice. )


COME QUICK! :D ( and please spread the news )


Commission status :
 charn DONE!