Now, it is fully understandable and justifiable for every artist to want to protect their products from those heartless AI companies just gobbling up as much training data as physically possible. Especially artists who make a lot of money drawing but need to constantly work their asses off for it!

However
With a large chunk of artists going about this by applying image filters that either make their work look like it had oil thrown on it or like severe compression artifacts, I can't help but think this is a poor choice. Again, I understand the need and motivation, but this overall reduces the quality of their product. It adds distracting noise which also increases the image file size (that stuff adds up if you are aiming to archive lots of art!).
Many would say just live with it, and sure. But this reminds of another issue in another media industry.. DRM impacting the direct function of products, most notably games, for the sake of preventing theft. Reducing the enjoyment for their end consumer in order to have protection. For users that pirate, they not only get the product for free, they get it without DRM and thus it functions better too!
I see this happening with AI as well. It still makes plenty of regular mistakes but it has already gotten much better alarmingly fast. So now, instead of someone commissioning art that will have an ugly filter on it, they can have an AI make it for free and get it without the filter.

Is it worth giving your users a worse experience so an AI potentially can't use it, risking those users being more motivated to leave or even use AI to get cleaner results?

Pretty far into Act 2 and I think I've hit my limit, it really is just brick wall after brick wall of bosses or gauntlets I can't handle. I enjoy it when I just get to explore but eventually that ends with another frustrating encounter that I have to slog through. It is so much less welcoming than hollow knight, the combat is too fast for me to adapt, I think that's it. Guess I'll just be sad and watch someone else play it, wishing it were possible for me to be good enough to enjoy it like them >v<

I'm not exactly a fan of the large sum of people looking down upon those who can't get through the game, either. With how unreasonably anticipated the game was I'm sure a vast amount of people who never touched Hollow Knight jumped in and swiftly got mulched, now being told by the diehard difficulty grinders and naturally gifted that they are doing it wrong and it is their fault. I very much wish the game had a similar difficulty curve to Hollow Knight. So much story and interesting environments I am genuinely incapable of experiencing for myself. It isn't reasonable to expect every game to be for everyone and I know that. But Hollow Knight sets a bad example.

*huff*

I am at my limits with the game and am stuck at the apparent end of act 1. My reaction time is not enough to defeat this boss, and I am quite tired of being capped at 3hp (yes I already have the item that makes phase 2 a little less punishing). Even if you can heal an effective 1.5hp I am not able to get through without making less than 3 mistakes when the boss is constantly moving so quickly leading to easy accidental nudges for contact damage and the phase 2 attack windups often being too quick for me to handle. I know it is only going to get worse from here, there is so much more game left and I am already beyond the point of really enjoying it. So much I wanted to experience for myself but it is looking like that will not be possible. The skill floor is higher than what I am capable of and I am not sure what to do now

As it says uvu
I will be visiting Airav for a little under a week so I won't be keeping up on messages!

I wish I knew good legal ways to severely damage their company. Payment processors deciding what is allowed to be online and successfully making progress sterilizing the internet.. I wonder how long this stuff will be available for at this rate

It eats at me, feeling this way about someone I used to love. I know they are still out there somewhere, with no regrets about what they have done. They said they could forgive me, but I don't think we've treated each other equally. I think I'm better than that, and even when I thought I could before, after our last encounter I have realized they are not worth my forgiveness. Not with their lack of regret and care for what was left behind. I apologize for writing another one of these, I don't really care for vent journals because it just makes people who don't even know me feel bad for me while they're also in a position of unable to provide any kind of support. It's just something that's been on my mind for a while and I think I will be able to relax a bit more if I just spout it out into the void already. For everybody besides the one who knows this is about them, please do not concern yourself with this or me. I will be well, I will be content, I have new friends who actually care.

https://youtu.be/Vcrb6365GsQ

An old favorite, and fitting for recent moods. It may be simple but I quite enjoy the melody. It's very pleasing to whistle

On one talon I'd like to make my name not the bad joke I came up with 12 years ago.

On the other it is now difficult to keep track of who I'm following as now everyone is changing their names and I don't want to make mine confusing as well >v<

Is there anyone around who custom makes pillows? I don't just mean generic body pillows with a design printed on them, I mean custom shaped pillows, essentially just a big stuffed animal. The design I had in mind was relatively simple (my penis) so I've been curious about available options

Someone animated a huragok so perfectly
https://youtu.be/Y6ndyxCptLI
They never get enough love, this completely melts my heart

I had a great time away with friends, nothing has gone horribly wrong this month, things are looking good uvu~~


Unrelatedly while I was away I think someone tried to scam me? A new account by the name of Homesidechivk8890 contacted me through notes asking to use my art for a reference in something they're making. I told them sure, they replied back with a link to my gallery to show me what it was (I typed in the submission number manually as I didn't trust any links from them) and I said sure again. Then they tried asking for my contact information so they could update me on what they were doing, I just told them no thanks I'm fine not hearing about it. A few days later I discover the account is pending deletion via the administration. Very odd indeed.

My birthday of the 20th is approaching and with it some unfortunate reminders. Two years ago on my birthday, my closest friend cut off from everyone. One year ago just a few days after my birthday, my pet bird traumatically died in my arms over the course of 7 hours.

I worry this year will also have something go wrong, but we shall see. I will be gone from the 15th to the 21st, away with friends, and will not be reachable in that time.

Help I wish to send a Russian friend payment for art but we are out of ideas :>

A new necessary feature! That doesn't happen very often

Sorry for a lack of timely replies for many I interact with, I've been busy and low on energy lately so I've been reluctant to message people or even reply to some. I am still around, it just may take me a while.

Also I had a nice christmas uvu

It's honestly exhausting being friends with or following people who have a habit of deleting their things, usually without warning. Be it art or chat messages or entire message histories, I get such a permanent anxiety around these people that I can't shake off. I feel like I have to archive everything I see from them or else it might just be gone forever. I follow several artists who do this, and every time they do it I am less and less able to even enjoy looking at any of their work due to the anxiety I associate with it. A few friends are also like this or have done it once/twice. A couple have the habit of deleting their accounts without warning and approaching with new ones eventually. It's very difficult for me to feel close to these people when it happens, like it's a permanent mark against my trust in them and I don't know how to get it back. It just leaves me feeling jaded towards them and not wanting to be involved. I don't know, weird personal problems of mine.

I've not drawn one but I've certainly enjoyed turkey art from many year's past. I won't have free time to do this anytime soon of course.

Have a lovely Thanksgiving for those who participate uvu

I'm not sure if it has become more common or if I've just noticed it more lately. Other artists I follow have been complaining about being blocked by people they've never interacted with and only randomly finding out once they try to comment on/favorite something from the person who blocked them. One comment even mentioned a block-list database that just marks you as someone to block based on certain behavior or other people you've commented on. I never went digging for this so I don't know about its actual usage if it exists. But random blocking without warning or a given reason, I've certainly noticed that plenty. Every once and a while one of the many people I follow but haven't spoken with will block without a single message ever sent my way. It's a bit frustrating, people online don't seem to care to be respectful when it's so easy to cut out others without consequence. I've only ever blocked a couple people, individuals actively working to bother and upset me. Perhaps I'm too patient with others and the true way to act online is to just bar away anyone who provides an annoyance.

Is it just coincidence, did they all see each other doing it so they decided they should do it too, or did the website host ask all of their users to do it the same time? It's a website I don't ever intend to use but I'm sure seeing a lot of people telling me to use it!

Given I don't see many happy journals around I figured I'd make one, if it's worth anything. My life is going very well and I plan to keep improving my digital art!

I would like to thank everyone for their responses the previous journal, to start off. The insight has been very helpful and I'm glad to hear from so many of the artists that follow me why they may experience sudden feelings of needing to hide or change their content. It is definitely hard to be a weirdo on the internet and I hope my space here can at least be a little more comfortable than others. Sorry I'm not giving a more direct response, I'll be honest most of them would take a complex follow-up and my poor brain is too low on energy. I'm not nearly that good at being insightful myself anyways, I worry I'm far too shallow minded ~v~


In unrelated news I'm trying to practice my environment backgrounds. They're rather tricky to get right in a way that doesn't seem very out of touch with the rest of the image or just look bad. I've got a new piece that's held back by the background right now and I'll probably need to poke Zwrrr for more assistance on drawing something fitting. Or just watch more Bob Ross

I don't wish to be judgy or make anyone think this journal is personally directed at anyone.

But I've been noticing an alarming trend of mental instability among many artists I follow. It comes in many forms, usually as general insecurity. But it has lead to a lot of dramatic mood or just general behavior fluctuations in these people I follow. Many have random social availability, some going quiet or abruptly deleting their socials or even art profiles, only to quietly come back sometime later. Many post about the awful feelings they're having, either in general or as regret over their own sexual interests. Others just randomly delete and repost their uploads without warning, anxiously pushing me to save anything that gets uploaded the second I see it so I know I'll have it if it goes away.

I have a bad tendency of making other's problems my own, feeling awful anxiety over their own emotional security and wishing I could help ease their worries, even if they're people I've never spoken with once. It's difficult for me to disconnect myself and not want to provide some sense of calm.

Bleh, I don't like venting like this as it feels like I'm just doing the same thing to other random people, making them have to worry about me when they don't know me, really don't need to waste energy trying to care about me, and I'm quite okay myself. I just hope all these kind people I follow can find peace and feel secure with their art.

Over the years, I've had many of my favorite artists have sudden or gradual shifts in their content that made me not enjoy following them anymore. While it's selfish to want them to make the things I want forever, it's certainly a sad feeling when I know they won't be drawing things I enjoy again. With that in mind, I wondered how my things may have shifted over the years. I hope I've remained consistent enough, and haven't pushed anyone away with my own content changing. The only real differences I feel I've made is getting a lot of art gifted to me by friends, and making some things that are much more personal in desire.

I should be in bed.

..

Well, I am in bed. I should be asleep.
But there are troublesome reminders about. I'm doing well with my life generally, getting great experience with a new job that's a big stepping stone for my full career.

It gets harder on some days, I have to work a lot harder for less pay (more hourly but less hours). That causes "this is my life now" troubles from time to time. But the real bad thoughts come from reminders, of those who have left my life. My head is just mush now and there's too many people to keep track of throughout my life. But a few in particular left lasting scars on my mind. I know one of them is still around in some form. I wish them well, but also don't, I don't know. I wish they had seen things differently, and cared more about the consequences of their actions. I also wish I hadn't hurt them. I miss them, yet I really don't want them back after what they did and said, how they acted. I want to apologize, I want them to apologize, I want them back, I wish this whole stupid thing never happened. So many years of trying to improve each other. Maybe it would have been better if I hadn't met them. If only I could make sense of these feelings.

But not everyone leaves out becoming incompatible or having a sudden falling out. Some leave out of death. I miss my pet bird. He died 3 months ago, and my entire life was shaped around him for 8 years. Every day I woke to his calls, held him, gave him as much attention as I could. Just for a liver infection to get him with antibiotics that weren't fast enough to stop it. His passing was traumatic, he was clearly in intense distress and agony for several hours while he slowly died in my arms. It will haunt me forever. Quaker parrots can live to 20, he still had half his life ahead of him. I wish I did better.

I know may of those who read this will want to say their support, you don't need to though. I know how uncomfortable it can feel trying to console a stranger, and I'll likely not feel comfortable enough to reply to most of, if any of the comments. But I don't like to disable comments either. I don't know what to do really, it's stupid enough I'm writing this, venting into the public is rather needless on my part. I don't think it will help me yet I'm compelled to do it anyways.

I wake in 6 hours for a big event, hope I'll be lucid enough to get there safely and function during it. Hopefully you all will have a nice day too. I'll be fine, this is just another passing mood, even if the underlying causes can't be resolved. More art coming in the future probably. Working around being busy, seeing how I can improve my efficiency and consistency. Many far better skilled artist friends surround me and offer wonderful help. I'm thankful to have my loves who are there for me.

I don't need what I've already lost, I just wish I could stop caring about it too. Goodnight