I remember people telling me I should start a podcast?
https://soundcloud.com/spidersynthpop

WELL I DID.
THAT'S MY SOUNDCLOUD CHANNEL.
so far I've done a 20 minute review of Hitman: The movie,
and a review of the tv series The Cape, which I just put up.

I haven't really felt like making cover art for them, but I'll make an art-post about it so more people can see them. That's probably where I'm going to update my audio-reviews from now on because I'm not limited to 10 minutes ala tumblr.

-check inbox-
-about a dozen or more journals like this every few hours-
my face when

I've read all about the reasons, but as far as I care, it's a problem between grown-ass-adults to solve. People can argue the morality of the situation as much as they want, but it doesn't change the fact that
A: it's their problem and their personal lives to solve, not ours
B: The website itself is not at fault here
and C: if anything is gonna make you leave FA, it should've been all the random times where the site goes down.

Needless to say, I don't plan on moving to another site. At least not because of all this drama. If I ever leave, it'll be due to the site quality, and not because of what I think of someone's private life and choices.

What made you choose the species of your main fursona?
Well I like to bounce back and forth between species, but since I'm trying to remain consistent between my FA and my blog, I'm using a Spiny Orb Weaver because that's my favorite type of spider. But there was also the Orange Goo-man who was just easy to draw and morph how I wanted, and Guy the Moth who eventually became his own character.

Is your fursona just like you, or how you want to be?
Well he's pretty much just my avatar right now, but when I think of him as his own character? He's kind of a snark, tries to do the right thing but manages fuck himself over because he doesn't have a filter on his mouth. He'll do the nicest thing for you, but then say something really off color and land into trouble.
story of my life.

Does your fursona have the same personality you have?
See previous answer

Does your fursona have the same dislikes and likes as you do?
See previous answer

Does your fursona look like you at all?
I stopped shaving my head, but I do still have a goatee

Is your fursona the same gender as you, if not why?
Last I checked I we are both still penis owners

Do you have more then one main fursona?
Like I said earlier, I've got the Orange goo-man who I regularly pair up with Gimi (my goblin girl character) to be my general 'Sona. Because I bounce around fursonas so often, I just make it cannon that he morphs into whatever I feel at any given time, and Gimi hangs around to be the voice since goo-man doesn't talk.
And Guy the Moth started as my 'Sona, but eventually grew to be his own character. He still takes after me, but does have notable differences.

Do you have a back story for your fursona, if so does it have anything to do with your own history?
Nah, I just kinda poofed him up. Orange goo-man however is the tree-sap from a magical rare fruit tree that gained sentience. And Guy is just a young adult slacker who moves out of his parent's house to go live on his own.

Is your fursona mated, if so is it to your real life significant other?
Shit, I should've mentioned Charlie. and I have our own special characters just for ourselves. Characters we've had since highschool (although I tend to give mine a lot of cosmetic changes over time.) And Charlie (bobcat) is indeed mated Mizukiki's Kiki (serval)

If not are they looking for a mate, or are they a swinger so to speak?
I guess you could say most of my characters are swingers since I'll kinda roleplay them in my head when I'm bored and snogging whatever other character I find sexually arousing at the time. I think Guy is really the only one who's concrete with his significant other (jazz.)

Is there something special about your fursona that you think sets them apart from others?
Well I'm a spider.
got that goin for me.

Do you have much art of your main fursona/s?
Only recently for my audio review cover images. Goo man, Guy and Charlie (or his past iterations) are all over the place though

Would you ever consider parting with your main fursona, if so why?
Meh. If I find a new way to draw him or if something more interesting comes along. That's why Goo man and Gimi remain the most consistent because he can be whatever I want.


If you suit, do you have a suit of your main fursona?
Nah, I'm not a suit guy. I mean if one fell out of the sky, I wouldn't say no, but that's just too much effort and money to sink for the sake of my hobby.

Have you ever roleplayed with your main fursona, or do you prefer not to?
With Charlie? yes. His past iterations anyway. Guy and Gooman and the spider? no.


Do you consider your main fursona to be a part of you in any way?
Silly question, all my art has a part of me init

I love all these journals about people moving to other sites after the downtime.
....aaaaaaaaaaaand I'm one of them.

But I'm not really moving per se, but rather I've just set up a place to post art as backup of sorts.
I've never really wanted to make a tumblr or personal blog before, because I've always seen them as just this place for maladjusted teens and young adults to go complain about things.

However, I started to open up to the idea, has one too, and I just kinda wore down until I finally decided to just do it.
and it actually ain't that bad now that I get into it. I realize that you don't see the haters unless you actively watch the haters. All I've got is warhammer40k art, sex music, porn artists and horror movie makeup on my dash.

so anyway, here it is
http://spidersynthpop.tumblr.com/
I'm still gonna post on FA, but I'm also gonna post to this too, (maybe an exclusive here and there) just because it is kinda nice to just have my own personal space to dump art in.

I started class a few weeks ago, and considering I failed this class last year, I'm kinda really throwing myself into it. And I just get so worn out, all I want to do is come home and melt into the couch.

I DO draw some other stuff, and I've actually been updating my Deviantart lately.
http://spidersynthpop.deviantart.com/
I like to use it for human stuff, and just to be something I can actually SHOW people. (you can understand how showing a random person my FA would be a little awkward)

But anyway, I'll try to get some more stuff up soon.
And if you've been following 's Coming Apartments comic, I've actually been writing the script for a Boyd/Fran spinoff (the buffalo and alpaca characters that showed up in Eddie's apartment hunting) that I might draw, or I might have her draw. I'd kinda like her to draw it just so it gets a little more attention.

And like I said, I'll try to get some more artwork up, though I suppose this is really just a journal to clarify that i'm still active and lurking. Y'know, that I'm not dead

1. Why did you join FurAffinity?
Because I was a horny teenager and at the time, I was like "HOLY SHIT, THERE'S SO MUCH PORN HERE."

2. What does your username have to do with you?
I'm a big lovecraft fan, and Dunwich Horror is one my favorite stories. I like to use a lot of different Lovecraft character names as my screen-names.

3. What is your current avatar of?
The Lich King from adventuretime gingerly whispering PENISES into your ear

4. How many watchers do you have, and how many do you watch?
268 watching me, 257 I watch

5. Do you have more than one account?
I do, but they're most likely dead by now. Only reason I ever hopped accounts was to ditch a screen-name I didn't like, or I wanted to start fresh with a new Gallery.

6. Name 3 of your favorite artists on FA.
and

7. What artist do you admire because of their personality?
That'd probably be a tie between the previously mentioned Roatarr or Whitemantis, just because they are just so darn nice and pleasant to talk to when you get the chance.

8. Do you comment, fave, or both?
I actually don't do either very often unless I REALLY want to. I'll only fave something if it's really something I want to come back to or look at again, or just really cool. And I usually only comment if the artist wants critique, or if I just want to dickride an artist on how good they are.

9. What do you typically post on FA?
Tits, dicks and my anthro-insects mostly. Recently, I pretty much just post whatever strikes my fancy. I've been focusing on some other things lately, so I haven't been drawing much. But I have been writing a bit, so I might post some of that soon.

10.What's your favorite submission in your gallery?
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/11304667/
I'm really proud of that one just because I tried a lot of different things with it, and I'm really pleased with how it came out.

11. What are the things you wish you could draw better?
More proper anatomy. I like being a cartoonist for the most part, but I get jelly of people who can do characters with more realistic proportions.

12. How many hours a day do you spend on FA?
I always check it at least once a day, and sometimes lurk for a half-hour or so, adding new artists to my watch list.

13. Are you a fast, slow, or medium typer?
Probably medium level. I don't do that "home key" stuff they teach you in school, I just have my hands hovering above it and I inherently remember where the keys are and taptaptaptap.

14. What is the most annoying thing people ask you?
I honestly don't get that many annoying questions, but I get the occasional creeper or troll who rustles my jimmies a little.

15. What is the most annoying/offending comment you've received?
I once had a troll-post from a guy who was like "lol, furfag, you think you can get away with charging anything for your shitty art, fuckin faggot" something like that.
And let me tell you something. I like to consider myself a veteran of the internet. I get worse than that on a daily basis. So I was just like "0/10, barely rustled. Try harder." and then blocked/reported.

16. What/who inspires you?
I'm not really sure on that regard. Sure, I pick up inspiration from things I think are fuckin' neato like bugs and music, but on a more personal level? I'm kind of a narcissist because I like to think my art is for ME. It's my way of dealing with problems or emotions. Or for escapism. And the thing is, I don't really like posting it anywhere like DA, except here. Because I feel that a lot of people in the furry community have this same feeling. It's not about getting famous or rich off your art, (although some obviously do) it's more about getting your feelings out and sharing them with people who get it, y'know? Other artists who are using their art, writing, or commissioning art based around their thoughts or fantasies. I respect that.

17. Everyone has considered leaving FA once or twice. Have you? Why?
Just as another fresh-start kinda thing. Every now and then, I think about changing direction or motivation in my art, and just start anew in a different site to make a different identity. But I feel like I'm way too rooted here, and I have friends here that I really wouldn't want to leave behind.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/11565938/

So there's an artist that I really like, with a really cool way of color, art, and has a theme of always drawing characters bottomless, but not in a sexual light. And he was doing open call a while back for characters to experiment with. I threw Gimi in the ring, and he actually really liked her.

and so he used this image for the reference
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/9524561/
seeing as that sweater is only top she's ever worn.

And as you can see? It came out REALLY great, it totally came out of left field for me because it was weeks ago that I suggested her that I forgot about the whole thing.
Really reminds me I outta do more Gimi in general. I tried the other night and she just wasn't coming out right. I think I might redesign her a little bit, maybe a little more like pleistocene's or maybe just more like the "Im not dead!" pieces I did where I used proportions and lineart.

I've actually been hearing I should lineart and smooth lines again anyway, so I'll give that another shot sometime soon. I think I like my sketchy art too much because I'm lazy. But then again, whatever makes me happy right?

anyway, I just wanted to share that in a journal, because it's not like this was a request or a commission I can repost, He acknowledged the character was mine, that's all Id really need.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aRq1SmwJnN0&feature=player_embedded

I just want to put this out there, because I'm still on a high from it.

I went to see this today, and let me just put it this way.
I saw Pacific Rim, and I still think THIS is the best movie I've seen all year. I love it.
As a horror fan, and also a fan of the home-invasion subgenre, this really delivers in spades.

and it really becomes more than just your average slasher. the 2nd act really ramps up the drama and it's so satisfying, and a very well rounded story to boot without any major loose ends.

The one thing I DON'T get is why all the reviews are calling it a horror-comedy or a black-humor movie. I really didn't get that vibe, it just felt to me like a movie made by guys who love the genre. It's being compared to Cabin in the Woods, which I actually didn't think was so great to be honest.

But I digress. I really recommend it if you're a horror fan. It really reminded me of one of my other favorite horror movies, The Strangers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p5m_MaEy3ho

Which I also highly recommend if it pops up on netflix or you can find a copy. I really like to see "You're Next" as sort of a spiritual successor to Strangers even though I know it wasn't made for that purpose.

Well yesterday was, I forgot to mention it here.
I'm now 23.
and that means I get to spam my personal anthem song everywhere
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7l5ZeVVoCA

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-cont.....Happening1.gif

I'm draw something for this later mind you, but I wanted to have a journal announcing it as well.

I proposed to this morning. I've spent the last month or so finding the right ring, and once I found it yesterday, well. I couldn't hold onto it long.

So of course she said yes, and we went out today to get a simple band ring for myself. We're both very happy, and we're probably going to put off the wedding till later next year. I just wanted to share that with you guys because you've watched both of us on here for a good long while. You pretty much know who we are, and share one of our major interests. (though it's not quite something we're gonna list off in the vows in front of family mind you)

So yeah. Thanks to all of you for being fuckin' awesome. You're all great and I consider the vast majority of you as friends.

Honestly, this is getting really old. Has anyone else been getting this? Where FA just phases in and out of being FUNCTIONAL?

I mean fuck
I have an account set up on weasyl for just lurking pruposes but I might just move over there if FA can't get its shit together. Or DA even.

For those that pay attention to journals like I ....sometimes do, I have a bit of an announcement.

So...that job I had?
Yeah I kinda quit.
-sigh- Working nights at Walmart just wasn't treating me well. I'll spare the little details unless anyone's really that curious.
basically, I just wasn't sleeping well, had noticed I was getting more and more agitated and edgy by the week, and my schoolwork has fallen pretty behind as well.
So I pretty much went ti my manager tonight and I said I wanted to quit. He was actually really understanding about it, and he told me that it's hard to work this way and it isn't for everyone.

With that, I'll probably be back, drawing a little more and being a bit more active again.
I'm also more than willing to take up commissions again for the time being until I find another job. Because I do have SOME kind of income even if it's just a little bit. -sigh- I know my folks are gonna have my head because They really wanted me to keep the job for the 6 months but I just couldn't last.
I CAN'T DO IT JOHN, YOU GOTTA DRAW A FUCKIN LINE IN THE SANE DUDE.
anyway.

That's all for now. If any of you have any ideas you want to shoot my way, I'd be happy to look them over. I've been fiddling more with Sai when I DO draw these days, so hopefully I can do some better quality shit.

till next time
~DD

got your attention.
as I always do.

I have a relatively big thing to announce.

so I got hired for a job today stocking shelves overnight. This is a bit of an issue becaaaaaause
I tend to draw at night.
and this is a 10pm to 7am job, so I'm gonna clonk out as soon as I get home. and I'd probably just have those afternoons to myself.

So I may not be as available to draw things pretty soon. I'll still post or do the occasional commission when I get but expect delays in the future.
I don't know when I start working, but supposedly i'll get a call in a few days.

anyway, just letting you guys know that. I might draw something for the occasion tonight, but yeah.
just an FYI

I have.
it eats shit.

and for some reason, after hearing about this
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/985...../#cid:65787052
I have to spread the word to help this person.

If you're familar with Kadath (or Puzzle, his character) then he's working with her on a donation run series of images to help her reach the goal she needs for the surgery.

So if you wanna help, or maybe spread it around a little if you want, I'm just doing something little to help since I don't have much to donate myself, and given the cause, I'd really like to see this girl get that surgery.

to those who read journals.

I'm really boredy-mc-bored bored. I feel like I don't have very much inspiration right now.

So i'm willing to do any sketch requests or commissions you guys would like me to do.
just throw some ideas at me at least. I benn kinda bummed out today starting and scrapping so many things i didn't like.

and I were just chatting over notes and asked me to list all the personas I've had,
I told him that was a can of worms that should never be opened.
BUT ALAS
I DID ANYWAY
and I thought I'd share the long list of DD's grand hall of never-making-up-his-goddamn-mind

so
the very first was a Red Wolf. And that was back when I was 14 I think.
and then over time....
-hyena
-crow
-bat
-snake
-bobcat
-muntjak (a species of deer that has fangs)
-chimera (which more like a cat with a snake tail that he would talk to)
-narwhal
-a rattlesnake/bat combo
-a bear
-frilled lizard
-corgi
-pug
-a dinosaur of some kind
-angler fish
-rat
-kangaroo rat
-a zombie dude in a wooden mask
-an anthropomorphic lime
-a gummi bear
-a hamster
-male harpie
-a rottweiler
-a moth
-a gengar
-an Alakazam
-a jackrabbit
-javelina
-monkey
-buffalo
-wild african dog of some kind
-jumping spider
-giant crab monster
-desert iguana
-an incredibly ugly looking neon lizard
-roadrunner
-a xenomorph
-gecko
-a cannibal dude with steel teeth
-caiman
-skunk
-omanyte (or ominite, that one hermit crab pokemon)
-gila monster
-lion
-goblin shark
-goo man

the funny thing is that, and completely serious realtalk here, that isn't even half of it. That's just all that i can remember.

Suddenly the shift to being a shapeshifter makes a whole lot of sense.

God damn, I just looked at my stats recently

Pageviews: 5637
Submissions: 964
Comments Received: 3124
Comments Given: 1128
Favorites: 3089

Fuckin' A dude...
Over 5600 views, 36 submissions from a fucking THOUSAND
Goddamn man, that's like a timeline of my life right there.
It'd be even more if I didn't swap accounts so many times back in the day.

These are some heavy feels man.
...
I also just wanted to replace the journal on my userpage, I was tired of looking at that meme every time.

a fear meme?
for the horror/monster buff?
why the fuck not.

[ ] the dark (depends)
[ ] staying single forever
[x] being a parent
[x] giving birth
[ ] being myself in front of others
[x] open spaces (depends)
[ ] closed spaces
[x] heights
[ ] dogs
[ ] birds
[ ] fish
[ ] spiders
[ ] flowers or other plants

Total so far: 4
I hate being in huge open spaces. When I was a kid, my family visited my grandpa in NewYork and we went to this huge cathedral with really high ceilings. SCARIEST GODDAMN PLACE I HAVE EVER BEEN IN. I'm also a 22-year old, so the thought of children is a pretty mortal fear. THANK YOU GIRLFRIEND'S BIRTH CONTROL.

[ ] being touched
[?] deep water (only if I can't see the bottom)
[ ] snakes
[ ] silk
[?] the ocean
[ ] failure
[ ] success
[ ] thunder/lightning
[ ] frogs/toads
[ ] my boyfriends/girlfriends dad
[ ] boyfriends/girlfriends mom
[ ] rats
[x] jumping from high places
[ ] snow

Total so far: 7
I want to say I'd be afraid of deep water or the ocean, but I've honestly only ever been on it once in my life. and yeah, it was a bad experience but I was like, 7? 8? I was with my uncle on his boat and it ran out of gas while out in the ocean and I freaked out. I live in Arizona, I hardly ever see large bodies of water. But i'd be willing to try it again.

[ ] rain
[ ] wind
[ ] crossing hanging bridges
[x] death
[ ] heaven
[x] being robbed
[X] falling
[ ] clowns
[x] dolls
[x] large crowds of people
[ ] men
[ ] women
[ ] having great responsibilities
[ ] doctors, including dentists
[x] tornadoes

Total so far: 12
I'm always afraid of death. but its one of those things were like, in the daytime? I accept that it'll happen one day just like it does to everyone else and that I should enjoy my life till then. At night? OHGODOHGODPLEASE I DON'TWANNADIE IDON'TWANNADIIIIIIIE. and reincarnation freaks me out because I don't want to be anyone else, i want to be me.
and then there's dolls. fuck. dolls. scary little fuckers. and then large crowds make me uncomfortable and natural disasters kinda scare me to. I refuse to go to states that are known for shit like that.

[x] hurricanes
[ ] incurable diseases
[ ] sharks
[ ] Friday the 13th
[ ] ghosts
[ ] poverty
[ ] Halloween
[ ] school
[ ] trains
[ ] odd numbers
[ ] even numbers
[ ] being alone
[ ] becoming blind
[ ] becoming deaf
[ ] growing up

Total so far: 13
like I said. natural disaster weather is scary.

[x] creepy noises in the night
[x] bee stings
[x] not accomplishing my dreams/goals
[ ] needles
[ ] blood
[ ] dinosaurs - WHO IS AFRAID OF DINOSAURS? FUCKING WHO?
[ ] the welcome mat
[xxxxx] high speed
[ ] throwing up
[ ] falling in love
[ ] super secrets

Final Total: 17
The usual, afraid of prowlers at night, I've never been stung by a bee so I don't know if i'm allergic, afraid I won't accomplish what I want to in life, and SERIOUSLY GODDAMN FUCK HIGH SPEEDS. NOPE. NOOOOOPE. I BARELY MAKE IT ON THE HIGHWAY. NOPE.
NOPE NOPE.

If you get more than 30, I strongly recommend some counseling ()
If you get more than 20, you're paranoid. (x)
Yeah, I really needed this fuckin test to tell me i'm paranoid.
If you get 10-20, you are normal. ()
If you get 10 or less, you're fearless. ()

SNAG YOUR ATTENTION?

Though it's nothing too major, I just wanted to give a general update to people who might be wondering why I haven't done anything as of late. even AFTER FA farted out for a while.

And in a nutshell, I've just been so busy with class that my imagination muscle hasn't been very well flexed.
Most of my attention has been devoted to class all day and when I get home I'm just so drained that all I really want to do is just play some vidyagames, eat and then sleep. I don't get that much time to spend at home and I just aint crankin out anything.

So I guess you could say I'm on a bit of a hiatus for a little while. I might still draw if I can, but most of them have been scraps and doodles, and half started writings. So i wouldn't expect too much from me right now. But do know that I'm still around and I'm still active and watching/commenting. So who knows, maybe I'll just turn critic for a while.

And that's all I got for now.
so chow for now
~DD

I had to add swears or else you wouldn't have paid attention to me.
don't deny it.
in your sea of journals, key words attract you.

-

As of today, I've officially moved in with  mizukiki

Mostly just into her room, though when I finish college and she gets a job, we'll look into a more legit place to live. But for now, it's just this is just a pretty big step for two of us. We've known eachother for 6 years, been dating for 3. Just felt like it was the time to take that next step, y'know?

I wanted to draw something for this, but I ran out of sketchbook paper, so I'm just doing a journal. I'm really too exhausted from moving shit to really want to draw anyway. I mean it wasn't a WHOLE lot, just a pair of mattresses, dresser and a bookshelf, but it was still a pain in the ass.

So yeah.
life update.
y'know
for those people who read journals.

I am now 22 years old

i'm still one year away from this song applying to me
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSscyRaRgp0

Holy fuck
the reality of that just sorta set in on me

I mean goddamn
my art has been viewed over 4000 fucking times

I should draw something for this
probably

and thank you to my oldest watchers because I imagine you creepy stalkerish fuckers are responsible
-brooklyn accent-
but ah mean dat in duh behst waye pahssible

but seriously though, thanks.
you guys make it worth doing.

~DD

GONNA GO TO THE BEACH
GONNA DO SOME BEACHY THANGS
SUMMETIME LUH-HUH-VIN
IF YOU DON'T WATCH REGULAR SHOW THEN NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE
-cough-

So yeah.
classes are over.
summer ahead.
I have liberal amounts of free time.
I can be open for commissions if anyone wants. I wound up not getting the job I wanted for over the summer So I'm really not doing anything other than reading books, playing vidya and staying out of the high 90s to 100 degree weather outside during the day.

I'm also just making another journal so I don't have to look at the other one.

.........
kayiloveyoulady-buh-bye
~DD

Hello people who read my journal.
which is probably like a quarter of you really


as per usual, I disappear for a while, come back, say im not dead and eventually draw some shit.
but we'll see what I do.
I've actually been playing around with some recording stuff, and I'm thinking about doing something like maybe doing some motion comics or something.

Just something having to do with recording my voice.
but I'll try and draw something soon for those who're missing me
I've just been busy with school, various things going wrong (been having car trouble, cell phone died recently, some unpleasant feels here and there)

But yeah.
I'll have some fresh experimental stuff up soon sometime.
Ciao for now

~DD

inb4 someone asks me to record myself saying PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS PENIS
(and now all of you are gonna say it)

jacked this meme off of somebody else.
UNCOMFORTABLE
IM AN OPEN BOOK
NOTHING IS UNCOMFORTABLE

What color are your underwear/panties?
IM NOT WEARING ANY. MOST OF THEM ARE NEUTRAL COLORS

Do they have a design?
MY GRINCH BOXERS WITH THE EYES ON THE ASS.

Girls, what color is your bra?
NON APPLICABLE TO ME

Is there a design?
PENISPENISPENISPENISPENIS

what color are your socks?
WHITE
WITH SEMEN

Is there a design on them?
JIZZ STAINS

Are you a virgin?
LAWL NO

Happy that way?
MY GIRLFRIEND HAS AN IUD
ANYTIME ANYWHERE AAWWWWW YEAH

What is your favorite sex position?
MODIFIED MISSIONARY WITH HER KNEES TO HER CHEST

What is your sexuality/sexual orientation/What the fuck do you consider yourself?
IN REALITY, IM MOSTLY STRAIGHT. BUT I ALSO KINDA LIKE FEMININE MEN.
ON THE INTERNET IM LIKE CAPTAIN KIRK. WHITE, BLACK, GREEN, BLUE, FUR, SCALES
IF IT'S A BIPED THAT'S VAGUELY HUMAN I'LL FUCK IT.

Do you look at hentai?
EVERY NOW AND THEN BUT I DON'T SAVE ANY.

Real porn?
WHEN IM IN THE MOOD FOR IT. SOMETIMES ACTUAL PORN KINDA FEELS LESS REAL BECAUSE YOU KNOW THAT THEY'RE FAKING/ACTING/DOING IT FOR MONEY OR ATTENTION.

Do you read smutty/porn stories?
I USED TO WRITE THEM. STILL DO HERE AND THERE. BUT I DON'T TYPICALLY SEEK THEM OUT. BUT I'LL READ ONE IF IT JUST POPS UP.

Do you read/watch/look at gay porn/hentai/stories?
I HUNG OUT WITH YAOI FANGIRLS IN HIGHSCHOOL AND THERE WAS SOME EXPERIMENTATION. THESE DAYS NOT SO MUCH, BUT EVERY ONCE IN A BLUE MOON WHEN IM IN A GAY MOOD.

Who was your first kiss with?
I don't like to think about it. I was a sophmore in highschool, and I was too naive to realize she was a slut that was using me. The girl after that didn't fare much better. So we'll just go with my first actual LOVING kiss being with the girlfriend I had in senior year.

Are they of the opposite sex?
YES. ALTHOUGH SHE WAS ON THE FLAT SIDE, SO SHE GOT MISTAKEN FOR A LONG HAIRED GUY A LOT.

Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
I HUNG OUT WITH YAOI FANGIRLS
THEY WENT FUCKING NUTS WHEN I KISSED OTHER GUYS
BUT THERE WAS THIS GUY I KNEW AT MY COLLEGE CAMPUS THAT I REALLY THINK I COULDN'T BE LEFT ALONE WITH OR WE'D MAKE OUT

Is there any one of your friends that you would ever consider having sex with?
IT'S KINDA FUNNY, I'VE ONLY DATED WITHIN MY CIRCLE OF FRIENDS SO THAT'S PRETTY POSSIBLE. OR USED TO BE SINCE SOME OF THOSE GIRLS ARE EITHER GONE OR BATSHIT CRAZY NOW.

What would you do if you walked in on your partner having sex?
SHE WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON ME, SO I NATURALLY ASSUME THAT GUY IS ATTACKING HER AND I FUCKING BEAT HIM TO DEATH. IF IT'S A GIRL THEN I'D PROMPTLY APOLOGIZE AND ASK TO TALK ABOUT IT LATER. OR JOIN IF THEY WANT ME.

Do you have any piercings other than your ears?
NOPE

If so, where?
MY BALLS

Do you have any tattoos?
NOPE

If so, where?
MY BAAAAAWWWWLLLLLLS

Have you ever been pregnant/got a girl pregnant?
GIRLFRIEND AND I HAD A BROKEN CONDOM INCIDENT
EVERYTHING WAS FINE THE NEXT DAY BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX FOR A YEAR AFTER THAT
IT WAS SCARY

Ever done any illegal drugs?
NOPE

If so, which ones?
MY BIG DANGLING SWEATY BAAALSSS

Have you ever cheated on someone?
I'VE NEVER REALLY CHEATED, BUT I DID GET TIRED OF WAITING FOR A GIRL TO MAKE A COMMITMENT SO I MOVED ON AND ONLY AFTER I FOUND SOMEONE NEW DID SHE DECIDE TO. IT WAS TOO LATE. I WAS ALSO ACCUSED OF IT WHEN MY FIRST GIRLFRIEND DUMPED ME (as part of a test to see if i'd put up a fight for her, which was fucking stupid) AND I WENT OUT WITH MY BEST FRIEND A WEEK LATER.

Ever been cheated on?
YOU'VE BEEN SEEING THAT BASTARD ESTEBAN HAVEN'T YOU MIZU?
HOW CAN YOU LEAVE POOR HUSBANDO COLD AND ALONE
AND NO, I'VEN EVER BEEN CHEATED ON

Have you ever been called a whore/slut?
MAN-WHORE BABY
AW YEAH
COME GET SOME

Do you own any sex toys?
A MASTURBATOR NAMED FRANZISKA AND A SMALL PERSONAL VIBRATOR. I USED TO HAVE A COCKRING UNTIL I REALIZED THAT IT DIDN'T ACTUALLY DO MUCH ON ITS OWN.

Have you ever had a sexual fantasy involving a relative?
NOT INTENTIONALLY.
IM PRETTY SURE EVERYONE HAS HAD AT LEAST ONE NIGHTMARE THAT INVOLVED IT THOUGH.

Have you ever masturbated?
...YOU SHOULD'VE ASKED THAT IN THE BEGINNING BECAUSE IT'S PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS AT THIS POINT

Have you ever taken a naked picture of yourself?
YES I HAVE

Have you ever taken a naked picture of someone else?
AWWWW YEAAAH

Are you on any form of birth control(the pill, the patch, etc)?
IM STARTING TO THINK THIS IS A FEMALE DIRECTED MEME AND I DIDN'T READ ALL OF THIS CLEARLY. BUT THE GIRLFRIEND HAS AN IUD.

Have you ever written/drawn smut/porn?
IF YOU'RE READING THIS YOU PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT

Do you swear in front of your parents?
ONLY A LITTLE.

Do they care?
THEY'D PROBABLY BE PRETTY MAD IF I WALKED AROUND SAYING BITCHSHITFUCKCOCKNIGGERDICKS IN FRONT OF THEM

Are you uncomfortable yet?
ONLY ON THE TOPIC OF THE FIRST KISS BECAUSE IT MAKES ME REMEMBER THINGS I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER

Are you taking this quiz of your own free will?
BIG
DANGLING
SWEATY
FLOPPY
SWINGING HAIRY BAAAAAAWWWWWLLLLLLSSSS