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First journal in 5 years
Posted 4 years agoWell, life has been a journey I must say. A lot of things happened, and a lot of things changed.
I've thrown myself into a hole, and forced people away from me. I don't know why. Maybe it was the sense of obligation to people, or maybe the commitment... No, I know what it really is and I'm just ignoring it. I hate myself and don't want to drag others down with me, and I chose to ignore my problems until they're all that's left. I feel like I've been here before, but last time I was just a kid (relatively of course, 26 isn't that old yet either). I've always had my Dad to pull me back down to Earth, and lately, well...
My Dad was formally diagnosed with ALS a few weeks before the COVID-19 lockdowns started happening. My Dad has always been this paragon of physical ability in my life. Sure, not the strongest or fastest person I knew, but if he set his mind to it he could do it. He was also very capable of handling himself in any physical situation. He was prior Army Airborne (82d) and before that a cop in the Air Force. You could be bigger than him, but he'd still take you down. Now, he can't do anything for himself. He can't walk anymore, he can barely eat, and he has a very hard time answering my phone calls if he doesn't already have his bluetooth headset on. Even then, it's a struggle for him.
Right before I left for my tour in Korea, August of 2017, he was absolutely fine. Well, as fine as a man going on 48 could have been. Never the type of person to need physical help, but my Dad was starting to have some weird issues with his leg. He would say that they'd randomly go numb or become heavy, but nothing he didn't just blame on age. Shortly after Korea, I was stationed in VA. I went up to visit home, and and that's when it really hit me for the first time. For some context, my Mom and Dad are split, and my Dad has a significant other he's been with for about a decade now we will just call M. M recently moved to Florida and my Dad stayed back in PA to wrap up some stuff with his business. While I was visting him, he asked for help taking some boxes up stairs (he was living in a split-level home at the time). Wait... my Dad... needs help? It was weird, but I mostly shrugged it off as age as well.
Fast forward only 5 months. I'm about to be deployed to Qatar, and I got some dreadful news from a friend of my uncle. Again, for some context, my Dad and his half-brother were pretty estranged, but I remained in good contact with my Uncle. I found out from his ex-Fiancée that he took his own life. The worst part is, I couldn't say I was shocked. He had been in a bad place for a long time, and my only wish is that I could have been there to do more for him. My Dad was the one that handled the funeral arrangements, and when I saw him, he looked worse for wear. Not emotionally, but physically. He was getting tired really fast, and struggled on stairs. It was starting to set in that this wasn't just age, but I was in deeper grief about my Uncle, so I didn't take notice as much as I do now.
Right before my deployment to Qatar, a month after my Uncle's 'funeral' (a topic of discussion that I'm still frustrated about, but don't really want to get into) I went back up to PA one last time to visit. M was up to help my Dad with the last little bit of moving preparations, and we all decided to go get breakfast together. I meet them at the restaurant, and my Dad get's out of M's SUV and grabs.... a cane! This was the shock that made me realize something was very very wrong. He couldn't walk into the restaurant without a cane, only a year after the leg issue we chalked up to aging. I tried to put it out of my mind and enjoy breakfast, but I just couldn't. I spent my entire deployment super worried about my Dad. At this time, my Fiancée at the time was also having a ton of issues living down with her family again in Florida, but again, different story.
I get home from deployment, and my Dad was fully moved to Florida. We don't really talk much about his health over the phone at this point, I guess he just didn't want to worry me. I set-up plans to go down and see him, but some stuff with work comes up and I had to cancel. Finally, in February of 2020, I get the phone call that made everything so very clear. My Dad called, and told me that the Jacksonville Mayo clinic was able to formally diagnose his condition as ALS. I almost dropped my phone and fell to my knees. I knew immediately what ALS meant. I asked him if they gave any timelines or anything, and he said they still had more tests to do, but he was hopeful. I set up a time to go visit in March, but the Friday before I was going to drive down, the Air Force issued a stop movement order on everyone due to COVID-19. This meant I couldn't take leave outside of the immediate local area. My heart sank even lower.
Many months later, back in November, I was able to finally go down and see my Dad. To say that the cane was a shock is laughable compaired to when I saw my Dad most recently. He could barely walk around with a walker, needed a hydrolic chair to sit down, and couldn't get his own food or beverage. Everything had to be light enough he could lift it. The entire muscle structure of my Dad was gone. Skin on bone, that's all he was. I've never seen someone so thin everywhere before. The sight was just too much to deal with, and I decided to just make the most of the time I was spending with my Dad instead of focus on all of these things. I went out of my way to make sure I helped and did it all in the right way. Cut his food into small bits. Give him plastic cutlery. Fill his water bottle only half way so he could lift it still. Etc, etc, etc. None of it felt real. It was like some messed up dream.
And here we are now. My Dad let me know recently he is now permanently wheel-chaired. One of the trial medications we had high hopes for produced no significant results versus the placebo group (as in the drug tested to be a complete flop). I don't know what to do. All I've ever done my entire life is to just keep on keeping on. Move forward. Just move forward, but now, I no longer know where that forward is.
My Fiancée and I of 4.5 years have also split up recently. I met her when her child was only 7 months old, and I grew attached to him too, so it hurts twice as bad. I just feel like I've sabotaged myself again. I pushed everyone away. I pushed my friends away too. I don't know what I want in life anymore. I feel like my entire being is just 'fake'. All of this while my Dad is dying. I don't know what to do anymore, and I don't know what to feel. I'm sad, I'm angry, and I'm just blah. I don't want to be alone, but I also don't want to be around anyone. I just want to cry my eyes and throw things, but what will that solve.
I don't make this journal as a cry for help, or as a rouse for pity. I just needed to type this out and maybe some people will read it. That in itself just makes me feel a little better.
I've thrown myself into a hole, and forced people away from me. I don't know why. Maybe it was the sense of obligation to people, or maybe the commitment... No, I know what it really is and I'm just ignoring it. I hate myself and don't want to drag others down with me, and I chose to ignore my problems until they're all that's left. I feel like I've been here before, but last time I was just a kid (relatively of course, 26 isn't that old yet either). I've always had my Dad to pull me back down to Earth, and lately, well...
My Dad was formally diagnosed with ALS a few weeks before the COVID-19 lockdowns started happening. My Dad has always been this paragon of physical ability in my life. Sure, not the strongest or fastest person I knew, but if he set his mind to it he could do it. He was also very capable of handling himself in any physical situation. He was prior Army Airborne (82d) and before that a cop in the Air Force. You could be bigger than him, but he'd still take you down. Now, he can't do anything for himself. He can't walk anymore, he can barely eat, and he has a very hard time answering my phone calls if he doesn't already have his bluetooth headset on. Even then, it's a struggle for him.
Right before I left for my tour in Korea, August of 2017, he was absolutely fine. Well, as fine as a man going on 48 could have been. Never the type of person to need physical help, but my Dad was starting to have some weird issues with his leg. He would say that they'd randomly go numb or become heavy, but nothing he didn't just blame on age. Shortly after Korea, I was stationed in VA. I went up to visit home, and and that's when it really hit me for the first time. For some context, my Mom and Dad are split, and my Dad has a significant other he's been with for about a decade now we will just call M. M recently moved to Florida and my Dad stayed back in PA to wrap up some stuff with his business. While I was visting him, he asked for help taking some boxes up stairs (he was living in a split-level home at the time). Wait... my Dad... needs help? It was weird, but I mostly shrugged it off as age as well.
Fast forward only 5 months. I'm about to be deployed to Qatar, and I got some dreadful news from a friend of my uncle. Again, for some context, my Dad and his half-brother were pretty estranged, but I remained in good contact with my Uncle. I found out from his ex-Fiancée that he took his own life. The worst part is, I couldn't say I was shocked. He had been in a bad place for a long time, and my only wish is that I could have been there to do more for him. My Dad was the one that handled the funeral arrangements, and when I saw him, he looked worse for wear. Not emotionally, but physically. He was getting tired really fast, and struggled on stairs. It was starting to set in that this wasn't just age, but I was in deeper grief about my Uncle, so I didn't take notice as much as I do now.
Right before my deployment to Qatar, a month after my Uncle's 'funeral' (a topic of discussion that I'm still frustrated about, but don't really want to get into) I went back up to PA one last time to visit. M was up to help my Dad with the last little bit of moving preparations, and we all decided to go get breakfast together. I meet them at the restaurant, and my Dad get's out of M's SUV and grabs.... a cane! This was the shock that made me realize something was very very wrong. He couldn't walk into the restaurant without a cane, only a year after the leg issue we chalked up to aging. I tried to put it out of my mind and enjoy breakfast, but I just couldn't. I spent my entire deployment super worried about my Dad. At this time, my Fiancée at the time was also having a ton of issues living down with her family again in Florida, but again, different story.
I get home from deployment, and my Dad was fully moved to Florida. We don't really talk much about his health over the phone at this point, I guess he just didn't want to worry me. I set-up plans to go down and see him, but some stuff with work comes up and I had to cancel. Finally, in February of 2020, I get the phone call that made everything so very clear. My Dad called, and told me that the Jacksonville Mayo clinic was able to formally diagnose his condition as ALS. I almost dropped my phone and fell to my knees. I knew immediately what ALS meant. I asked him if they gave any timelines or anything, and he said they still had more tests to do, but he was hopeful. I set up a time to go visit in March, but the Friday before I was going to drive down, the Air Force issued a stop movement order on everyone due to COVID-19. This meant I couldn't take leave outside of the immediate local area. My heart sank even lower.
Many months later, back in November, I was able to finally go down and see my Dad. To say that the cane was a shock is laughable compaired to when I saw my Dad most recently. He could barely walk around with a walker, needed a hydrolic chair to sit down, and couldn't get his own food or beverage. Everything had to be light enough he could lift it. The entire muscle structure of my Dad was gone. Skin on bone, that's all he was. I've never seen someone so thin everywhere before. The sight was just too much to deal with, and I decided to just make the most of the time I was spending with my Dad instead of focus on all of these things. I went out of my way to make sure I helped and did it all in the right way. Cut his food into small bits. Give him plastic cutlery. Fill his water bottle only half way so he could lift it still. Etc, etc, etc. None of it felt real. It was like some messed up dream.
And here we are now. My Dad let me know recently he is now permanently wheel-chaired. One of the trial medications we had high hopes for produced no significant results versus the placebo group (as in the drug tested to be a complete flop). I don't know what to do. All I've ever done my entire life is to just keep on keeping on. Move forward. Just move forward, but now, I no longer know where that forward is.
My Fiancée and I of 4.5 years have also split up recently. I met her when her child was only 7 months old, and I grew attached to him too, so it hurts twice as bad. I just feel like I've sabotaged myself again. I pushed everyone away. I pushed my friends away too. I don't know what I want in life anymore. I feel like my entire being is just 'fake'. All of this while my Dad is dying. I don't know what to do anymore, and I don't know what to feel. I'm sad, I'm angry, and I'm just blah. I don't want to be alone, but I also don't want to be around anyone. I just want to cry my eyes and throw things, but what will that solve.
I don't make this journal as a cry for help, or as a rouse for pity. I just needed to type this out and maybe some people will read it. That in itself just makes me feel a little better.
I love all my people - MLG xX360NoScope420MtnD3WXx PRO SHOT
Posted 9 years agoSHARK CITY
I've lost my marbles help me find them....
function findMarbles($someParameter) {
#Add code here later?
}
Okay, I love all my people, and I'm mental. Soz. QQ more PewPew.
Master looter is a ninja. Get wrecked.
But no seriously, it's been a quick minute since I've journaled. I know I'm hyper as hell right now, but damn I've gotten some crazy stuff done. Beat Spyro: Ripto's Rage in under 2 hours finally, and I've began work on the actual version of what will be my book. I've also completed the main menu music for my "Do it all yourself" RPG computer game (yeah I'm trying my hand at that crazy nonsense in unity). GET WORK DONE SON (too much influence from Rick and Morty atm my appologies). Stand by for upcomming updates that will either never happen (i'm bad at that) or get posted on facebook before I remember I have to keep my FA up to date too >.>.
I'd also just like to add that I'm thankful for all my great friends and my awesome family. I wouldn't have it any other way, and I know that just with those two things I have more than most people can ask for. I just want to throw out there my deep appreciation for every single one of you, and for putting up with my craziness ^.^
*Mic drop* I'M OUT
I've lost my marbles help me find them....
function findMarbles($someParameter) {
#Add code here later?
}
Okay, I love all my people, and I'm mental. Soz. QQ more PewPew.
Master looter is a ninja. Get wrecked.
But no seriously, it's been a quick minute since I've journaled. I know I'm hyper as hell right now, but damn I've gotten some crazy stuff done. Beat Spyro: Ripto's Rage in under 2 hours finally, and I've began work on the actual version of what will be my book. I've also completed the main menu music for my "Do it all yourself" RPG computer game (yeah I'm trying my hand at that crazy nonsense in unity). GET WORK DONE SON (too much influence from Rick and Morty atm my appologies). Stand by for upcomming updates that will either never happen (i'm bad at that) or get posted on facebook before I remember I have to keep my FA up to date too >.>.
I'd also just like to add that I'm thankful for all my great friends and my awesome family. I wouldn't have it any other way, and I know that just with those two things I have more than most people can ask for. I just want to throw out there my deep appreciation for every single one of you, and for putting up with my craziness ^.^
*Mic drop* I'M OUT
Yet another year
Posted 10 years agoIt has been just over a year since my last update, and I'm sorry for that.
I have finally hit 21 years on this Earth, and I have to say it's continuing to be quite the journey. I remember my journal entry on January 19th, 2014, having said that I changed a lot. I feel that is more true now then it was. I have gone through quite a few new things, and have done a lot of personal reflection.
I am nearing three years in the Air Force now. It feels longer and shorter both at the same time. I have enjoyed every moment of it, taking all of the bad with all of the good. I have another three years ahead of me, and I'm going to put them to good use. I am going to start working towards my Computer Science degree, and hopefully minor in Electrical Engineering. I one day hope to work on microprocessors and eventually quantum processors. I am a hardware nerd through and through, and wish to be a part of the amazing teams who make our computers tick faster and faster.
I have also made a change in the sense that I brought it upon myself to finally come out to the rest of my friends and family. It felt like a massive weight was lifted, but at the same time it felt like nothing happened. I feel like I'm standing in the doorway of the closet, both in it and out of it, and I really don't care anymore. My personal life is my own and I can share what I want.
On another note, I was in the longest relationship I've had yet. 8 months. It was a fun and exciting 8 months, but it came time for us to part ways. I evolved as a person and didn't want the same things I did when I entered the relationship. I have to thank her though, for a fun and amazing time. I also dated around a bit more before then, but nothing stuck. If anything, I'm taking more chances and not living under the awkward rock of overthinking that I used to.
My twenty first year (the year at age 20 for those who can't math) showed me I was tired of lacking confidence, and i have become my own person, full of my own opinions and ideals that I will stand by, instead of allowing those around me to define who I am. It also showed me that I have grasped the concept of being an adult. I take responsibility for all of my own actions and the consequences that come with them. If I am in a bad place, then it is because I put myself there. I used to blame everything else, but that was rash and childish. The only thing I have not yet grasped is my finances, but I'm working on figuring it out, slowly but surely.
My grandmother passed away recently, and that was a hard time on both myself as well as my family. I flew home last minute to say my goodbyes to her, but I did not make it in time. It was rough, but I'm thankful to all the people who helped me pull through. I love you Grandma, forever and always, and your only grandson thanks you for everything that you have done for me and my family.
It's been a fun ride yet bumpy ride, and I can't wait to continue it with those who stand by me. Thank you all. <3 =3
I have finally hit 21 years on this Earth, and I have to say it's continuing to be quite the journey. I remember my journal entry on January 19th, 2014, having said that I changed a lot. I feel that is more true now then it was. I have gone through quite a few new things, and have done a lot of personal reflection.
I am nearing three years in the Air Force now. It feels longer and shorter both at the same time. I have enjoyed every moment of it, taking all of the bad with all of the good. I have another three years ahead of me, and I'm going to put them to good use. I am going to start working towards my Computer Science degree, and hopefully minor in Electrical Engineering. I one day hope to work on microprocessors and eventually quantum processors. I am a hardware nerd through and through, and wish to be a part of the amazing teams who make our computers tick faster and faster.
I have also made a change in the sense that I brought it upon myself to finally come out to the rest of my friends and family. It felt like a massive weight was lifted, but at the same time it felt like nothing happened. I feel like I'm standing in the doorway of the closet, both in it and out of it, and I really don't care anymore. My personal life is my own and I can share what I want.
On another note, I was in the longest relationship I've had yet. 8 months. It was a fun and exciting 8 months, but it came time for us to part ways. I evolved as a person and didn't want the same things I did when I entered the relationship. I have to thank her though, for a fun and amazing time. I also dated around a bit more before then, but nothing stuck. If anything, I'm taking more chances and not living under the awkward rock of overthinking that I used to.
My twenty first year (the year at age 20 for those who can't math) showed me I was tired of lacking confidence, and i have become my own person, full of my own opinions and ideals that I will stand by, instead of allowing those around me to define who I am. It also showed me that I have grasped the concept of being an adult. I take responsibility for all of my own actions and the consequences that come with them. If I am in a bad place, then it is because I put myself there. I used to blame everything else, but that was rash and childish. The only thing I have not yet grasped is my finances, but I'm working on figuring it out, slowly but surely.
My grandmother passed away recently, and that was a hard time on both myself as well as my family. I flew home last minute to say my goodbyes to her, but I did not make it in time. It was rough, but I'm thankful to all the people who helped me pull through. I love you Grandma, forever and always, and your only grandson thanks you for everything that you have done for me and my family.
It's been a fun ride yet bumpy ride, and I can't wait to continue it with those who stand by me. Thank you all. <3 =3
Incoming!
Posted 11 years agoWatch out now... I've never uploaded them, or really let anyone read them, but I have about two books worth of content finished on my story. I've finalized how I'm going to go about writing them, and unfortunately it calls for a total rewrite. I will be going about rewriting from the beginning. Expect me to upload the prologue sometime this weekend. I will from that point on be doing weekly chapter uploads. Stay tuned and I hope you stick around for the journey!
BronyCon 2014
Posted 11 years agoWell BCon '14 was the shitttttttttt. I met so many outstanding people while I was there and had more fun than I've ever had in a 3 day period. I met FOB Equestria, and promptly became a "fobbit". I got to meet with notable people IRL for the first time, such as SaberSpark, Black Gryph0n, Nowacking, and a few others. I got to meet for the first time ever a few other notables, such as ACRaceBest, Commander Firebrand, and Daniel Ingram. It was so much fun getting to meet all of these people.
I saw so many amazing cosplays, from full-suits to amazing gender-bent dresses. The pannels I went to were simply fantastic, and so were the events. I don't think I ever laughed as hard as when I saw Black Gryph0n dancing with his friends in circles to romantic music, or when he did the two Irish songs on stage with AC and Saber. The only thing I regret, but still had a ton of fun with, was spending almost $500 in the vendor's hall >.>
Anyway, I'm starting this thing where I'm going to update my journals the same here and on FA. I should also be making a lot more journals.
I saw so many amazing cosplays, from full-suits to amazing gender-bent dresses. The pannels I went to were simply fantastic, and so were the events. I don't think I ever laughed as hard as when I saw Black Gryph0n dancing with his friends in circles to romantic music, or when he did the two Irish songs on stage with AC and Saber. The only thing I regret, but still had a ton of fun with, was spending almost $500 in the vendor's hall >.>
Anyway, I'm starting this thing where I'm going to update my journals the same here and on FA. I should also be making a lot more journals.
Independence Day 2014
Posted 11 years agoWhelp, the 4th has come and passed, but It was sooo much fun (despite the boring sparkle-fizz "California" candles). Finally met some other Colorado Springs furs and made some friends to boot! Also bought my first collar and tag, which is freggin awesome. I'd wear it everywhere if people didn't look at me funny x3 (especially on base ><).
In other news:
I recently started working on music and art again. My website is also almost finished, planning on having it done before September (because I go on leave soon x3). Going to BronyCon '14 like a boss. I decided to be a glutton for 5k's and signed myself up for the Casey Cares 5k as a part of the BronyCon team. I 'm going to have a killer time in Baltimore!
You guys rock (I'm missing a bunch I know >< yell at me to add who I missed)
In other news:
I recently started working on music and art again. My website is also almost finished, planning on having it done before September (because I go on leave soon x3). Going to BronyCon '14 like a boss. I decided to be a glutton for 5k's and signed myself up for the Casey Cares 5k as a part of the BronyCon team. I 'm going to have a killer time in Baltimore!
This last year
Posted 11 years agoThe journey through life is long and hard, and with it comes many twists and turns that change who you are.
I have been changing a lot of recent, and I believe my personality and wants have finally settled themselves out.
At first I was distant, preferred to keep myself consumed by video games because real life was just too difficult to deal with. Then I started down a path of learning my sexuality and discovering who I really am. At the age of 16 everything started changing inside my head, and I started to accept things. Now, 3 and a half years later, I finally understand who I am and where I am going.
The last year of my life held a lot of changes. I joined the US Air Force, learned how to be an adult, went from being Pan to Bi to Straight and finally back to where I am now at Bi. Its been rough, but I feel like I'm now better from it. I have a clear direction, and can admit to myself who I am and accept it.
I am a furry, I am a brony, I am bisexual (with a strong preference for small, cute-looking, slightly-girlish guys O-o), I am a lover, I am a writter, I play devil's advocate, I am an intellectual, I am a Dragon, and lastly I am crazy. We are all crazy.
On another note I'd like to say I am making my return to the site and keeping this profile. I will work on a profile update as well as some other things over the next two weeks or so. If I haven't updated in three weeks yell at me.
I have been changing a lot of recent, and I believe my personality and wants have finally settled themselves out.
At first I was distant, preferred to keep myself consumed by video games because real life was just too difficult to deal with. Then I started down a path of learning my sexuality and discovering who I really am. At the age of 16 everything started changing inside my head, and I started to accept things. Now, 3 and a half years later, I finally understand who I am and where I am going.
The last year of my life held a lot of changes. I joined the US Air Force, learned how to be an adult, went from being Pan to Bi to Straight and finally back to where I am now at Bi. Its been rough, but I feel like I'm now better from it. I have a clear direction, and can admit to myself who I am and accept it.
I am a furry, I am a brony, I am bisexual (with a strong preference for small, cute-looking, slightly-girlish guys O-o), I am a lover, I am a writter, I play devil's advocate, I am an intellectual, I am a Dragon, and lastly I am crazy. We are all crazy.
On another note I'd like to say I am making my return to the site and keeping this profile. I will work on a profile update as well as some other things over the next two weeks or so. If I haven't updated in three weeks yell at me.
Minecraft
Posted 12 years agoCurrently working on a minecraft server of my own. There is a site I put together (or am in process of putting together) that will act as my main site to this server as well. The server is currently in dev phase, as the spawn point is currently being built. I need more help and people willing to actually play on the server for more things to actually happen. Hit me up if you're interested.
Anyway, in other news I have decided to hybridise with a sergal. Yep... I'm no longer full blooded dragon. More information on that coming soon as well.
Anyway, in other news I have decided to hybridise with a sergal. Yep... I'm no longer full blooded dragon. More information on that coming soon as well.
I am an American Airman.
Posted 12 years agoI could finish the creed but I won't x3. Hello all, I'm back. Currently in tech school and such. Nothing else much to say other than its great to be back.
Out at Basic Training
Posted 13 years ago> MFW shiiiiiiiiiit
Well... the time has come.... Basic Training for the US Air Force. Leaving for it in just a few days so.... well.... BRB GETTING MY ASS HANDED TO ME. =P
Well... the time has come.... Basic Training for the US Air Force. Leaving for it in just a few days so.... well.... BRB GETTING MY ASS HANDED TO ME. =P
Well... Air Force Lulz (and General Update)
Posted 13 years agoSo, I just realized I never posted a journal on this.
I realized that with my current work ethic (lol I don't have one =3) and shot GPA, that the traditional course of taking college after high school would not be best for me in any way. So with careful consideration and much discussion with my father I have decided to join the US Air Force. NO that does not mean I want to be a pilot (I've been asked this one to many times). I actually was looking at snagging a computer / networking related job or an electronic intelligence job.
Anyway, I've already gone through some processing and such. I actually just took my ASVAB (pretty much the US military's standardized test) and my physical. I scored a 97 percentile (out of a possible 99) on my ASVAB, which is ridiculous because the minimum required score is a 36 and the preferred score is 50+ xD. My physical also went over well, I just need to go back for some sort of counciling due to the fact that I HAD ADHD when I was younger. They just want to make sure I still don't have it I guess.
So all in all I do believe that I will get cleared for entry, and if that happens and jobs come down right, I should be leaving around November.
I keep thinking of things I want to do while in basic training that would show off pride for certain things yet be funny as hell. Dunno if I'll actually do them or not though. One of the things I wanted to do was to wear a husky hat all day and randomly woof when no one is watching xD, but like I said, I wouldn't want to get yelled at anymore than I already will be. If you have any ideas I want to hear them. Makes me laugh when I come up with these.
In other news, my life is progressing slowly yet smoothly right now. My high school graduation is coming up (June 11th =3) and I only have 5 more days of school to attend (YAY!!!). I didn't go to my senior prom, although I kinda got screwed out of it as well as didn't want to go after a while. I'm still single, but what else is new? Plus with the Air Force coming up I don't think it wise to be in a relationship (unless they can handle long distance or something idk...). Diablo 3 came out on Tuesday, been playing that shit HARDDDD, and it is a great game just like everyone says it is =3.
As far as my story goes, its progress has been halted, but with summer approaching I will start having more time to work on it. I've started two others as well. "Dying of the Known", which is about an apparently Sociopathic child who was trapped on an Island for most his life but ends up being the only one who knows whats going on in a blind semi-Utopian society. The other is the beginning of a series of books taking place in the Warcraft universe, and it is titled "Fall of the Thunderstrike Tribe" (might end up making that the series name though).
So, leave me any comments you have please =3. I want know what you guys think (that and this is my largest and most comprehensive journal EVER, might possibly make these into weekly or bi-weekly updates). I love hearing what people have to say about what is going on with me or my ideas, as it allows me to see how people view me and all (you guys know what I mean?).
I realized that with my current work ethic (lol I don't have one =3) and shot GPA, that the traditional course of taking college after high school would not be best for me in any way. So with careful consideration and much discussion with my father I have decided to join the US Air Force. NO that does not mean I want to be a pilot (I've been asked this one to many times). I actually was looking at snagging a computer / networking related job or an electronic intelligence job.
Anyway, I've already gone through some processing and such. I actually just took my ASVAB (pretty much the US military's standardized test) and my physical. I scored a 97 percentile (out of a possible 99) on my ASVAB, which is ridiculous because the minimum required score is a 36 and the preferred score is 50+ xD. My physical also went over well, I just need to go back for some sort of counciling due to the fact that I HAD ADHD when I was younger. They just want to make sure I still don't have it I guess.
So all in all I do believe that I will get cleared for entry, and if that happens and jobs come down right, I should be leaving around November.
I keep thinking of things I want to do while in basic training that would show off pride for certain things yet be funny as hell. Dunno if I'll actually do them or not though. One of the things I wanted to do was to wear a husky hat all day and randomly woof when no one is watching xD, but like I said, I wouldn't want to get yelled at anymore than I already will be. If you have any ideas I want to hear them. Makes me laugh when I come up with these.
In other news, my life is progressing slowly yet smoothly right now. My high school graduation is coming up (June 11th =3) and I only have 5 more days of school to attend (YAY!!!). I didn't go to my senior prom, although I kinda got screwed out of it as well as didn't want to go after a while. I'm still single, but what else is new? Plus with the Air Force coming up I don't think it wise to be in a relationship (unless they can handle long distance or something idk...). Diablo 3 came out on Tuesday, been playing that shit HARDDDD, and it is a great game just like everyone says it is =3.
As far as my story goes, its progress has been halted, but with summer approaching I will start having more time to work on it. I've started two others as well. "Dying of the Known", which is about an apparently Sociopathic child who was trapped on an Island for most his life but ends up being the only one who knows whats going on in a blind semi-Utopian society. The other is the beginning of a series of books taking place in the Warcraft universe, and it is titled "Fall of the Thunderstrike Tribe" (might end up making that the series name though).
So, leave me any comments you have please =3. I want know what you guys think (that and this is my largest and most comprehensive journal EVER, might possibly make these into weekly or bi-weekly updates). I love hearing what people have to say about what is going on with me or my ideas, as it allows me to see how people view me and all (you guys know what I mean?).
GAHHH
Posted 13 years agoI FORGOT TO EXIST AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please don't hold it against me =/
Please don't hold it against me =/
Fuckin Hell
Posted 13 years agoI forgot this website existed for a while...... Had over 300 messages >.>
Im still writing my story.... sort of. More distracted by minecraft and Skyrim than anything else.
Im still writing my story.... sort of. More distracted by minecraft and Skyrim than anything else.
Well... Updates
Posted 14 years agoWell, I dont really update things often enough.... Ugh its a hassle, but w/e. Cant I pay some one to do it for me???? Does anyone even read these?????
On a different note: Still writing a story, changing it into third person PoV instead of second, which was getting hard to write material for. The story suprisingly stars a Wolf... named... wait I can't give it away =3, you will all just have to find out when I post the rough draft to FA. =P
On a different note: Still writing a story, changing it into third person PoV instead of second, which was getting hard to write material for. The story suprisingly stars a Wolf... named... wait I can't give it away =3, you will all just have to find out when I post the rough draft to FA. =P
Writing a story
Posted 14 years agoI've been working on a story for the past few days. Look for it to appear here in unedited pieces over the next few weeks/months. Critique is the idea so plz critique it. thnx x3
I'm writing a story leave me alone >.<
I'm writing a story leave me alone >.<
Meh...
Posted 14 years agoMeh.... I'm just feeling meh lately.
Joe Anderson, friend of the family, has been diagnosed with stage 4 terminal kidney cancer. He is most likely going to die =/. He has a tumor on his spine, a bunch in his lungs, and one large on on his Left kidney....
Also, i might have to repeat 11th grade. Such fun stuff....
Anyway, i just want to leave a shout out to everyone to have fun with life, and to get high from it =3
I NEED MY FURSONA DRAWN!!! =3
If anyone cares to draw my fursona that would be great. If i have to pay i wont be able to afford anything over $20 a print (I'm poor T.T right now). I suck at drawing my own shapes so my level of descriptive detail would be impossible for me to do. Just send me a message on facebook or leave a shout here if interested. Thankies =3
Joe Anderson, friend of the family, has been diagnosed with stage 4 terminal kidney cancer. He is most likely going to die =/. He has a tumor on his spine, a bunch in his lungs, and one large on on his Left kidney....
Also, i might have to repeat 11th grade. Such fun stuff....
Anyway, i just want to leave a shout out to everyone to have fun with life, and to get high from it =3
I NEED MY FURSONA DRAWN!!! =3
If anyone cares to draw my fursona that would be great. If i have to pay i wont be able to afford anything over $20 a print (I'm poor T.T right now). I suck at drawing my own shapes so my level of descriptive detail would be impossible for me to do. Just send me a message on facebook or leave a shout here if interested. Thankies =3
R.I.P. Wolftrellis.
Posted 14 years ago
wolftrellis Wolftrellis, even though I did not know you personally, the times we spoke on Ventrillo were fun. Listening to you and Zack playing killing floor gave me enough of a headache =3.May you be remembered in our hearts always.
I NEED MY FURSONA DRAWN - ALL 4 FORMS =3
If anyone cares to draw my fursona (for cheap or free) that would be great. If i have to pay i wont be able to afford anything over $5-$10 a print (I'm poor T.T). I suck at drawing my own shapes so 2 dragons and 2 hybrids would be impossible for me to do. Just send me a message on facebook or leave a shout here if interested. Thankies =3
