...lots of people open up for commissions after your money is already spent/pledged? (The odds of this happening increase quite a bit when you're unemployed!)

I can take the training wheels off my flying saucer!

One, even as the river and the sea
Your tears, high beyond the sky
No word is painful as "goodbye"
But though apart, we'll someday be
One, even as the river and the sea.

I don't ordinarily fool with that sort of thing, but we have an artist who's relatively new to FA in  treats and I'd like to see her build up her fanbase, so there it is.

Raffle details are here: http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3664823/ Winners will be chosen via random number generator once the raffle ends.

Of course, most of them are mine...

Nevertheless, I shall celebrate. If anyone would like to ask me for a favor then this would be the time.

That said, I shall have to ask you to withhold your adulation for the moment.

"But Aunty," I can hear you say, "how ever can you be expected to handle such an awesome responsibility?" And your concerns are not unwarranted. Indeed, many a lesser cabbolf would be crushed by such a power, or succumb to hubris.

But this is me we're talking about, the superlatively modest and incorruptible Dwale. As Newton said, "If I have seen further than others it's because I'm HUUUUUUUGE." [sic]

What's that you say? You want a bite?

It's a bite-sized muffin, dude. Forget it.

One of my short stories got accepted for a compilation. Pretty exciting, but really on account of the editor (who is very nice) giving me some suggestions.

I ordered more My Little Pony shirts. Yeah...I liked them before they were cool (because I was freaking FIVE). Anyhoo, here they are...

http://www.welovefine.com/2205-cadence.html (I already have a Fluttershy shirt by this same artist. I love the way the mane and tail look...very distinctive!)

http://www.welovefine.com/813-celes.....explosion.html (Very trippy, kinda retro thing goin' on...)

http://www.welovefine.com/2259-luna-dreams.html (They just didn't have any other solo Luna shirts that I liked.)

I don't feel particularly guilty about the price since I've worn used clothing for most of my life.

My father (indeed, an uncomfortably large number of people in family share this) is a racist.

For as long as I remember, my father always told n****r jokes and anecdotes, so I grew up around it. The thing was, I was too young to understand...I thought they were just off-color jokes, not to be taken seriously and not reflecting any sort of reality in relation to how people were viewed. I had black friends at school, always did. I had never given it a second thought. If you like somebody, you like them...who cares what color they are?

Then one day a couple of my friends came to my house to play. They knocked on the door and asked for me. My father came to me and said, "I don't want those n****rs in my yard. Tell them to leave."

I was shocked. I was confused and hurt. What was I going to say to my friends? And a funny thing: one of these so-called n****rs? Honor roll student every year attending public school, with a spotless record of good behavior (which is certainly more than could be said for me!).

Now, my father is 77 years old and he was the youngest of the family, so I understand that he grew up in a very different social climate and that old habits (or prejudices in this case) die hard. Still...it's very sad that we live in an age undreamed of in regards to ease of information access, yet so many people prefer to be backwards about this.

Anyway, I told my friends as delicately as possible what the situation was. I can only imagine how hurt and insulted they must have been. And though we stayed on good terms after that, a wedge had been driven in between us and our friendship was never really the same. Little by little, we drifted apart.

What this world needs is love and education, a renaissance of the human spirit, to join and realize that we are all one family more alike than we are different. I hope we can all work towards that together.

People often say that "shit just got real," or that "shit is about to get real."

Gentle readers, I would like to take a moment to assure you all that the reality of shit is indisputable; even if it appears at first glance to be "beyond belief." If you find yourself saying that you "cannot believe this shit," then I invite you to examine it more closely, regardless of its proximity to any fans that might be in the vicinity.

Note also that shit is not a recent invention that "just got real", it exists with us contemporaneously and is not created ex nihilo, as the phrases I'm addressing seem to imply.

We never named you because we weren't going to keep you. We thought you were a boy until your belly swelled up. But then you had an infection and your only litter was stillborn. The surgeons took your womb to save you. Then you wandered the house, calling for the kittens that would never come.

In the end, we "didn't keep you" for eighteen years. No bird or mouse or mole was safe when you went outside and the furniture, too, suffered at your claws. You somehow took up the entire bed when you slept next to us, despite weighing only seven pounds. Petting you was a full-time job...and we enjoyed every second of it.

The appointed hour came and now we are separated for a while. Only a little while, and we will meet again. Goodbye, my little angel.

36:78 And he hath coined for Us a similitude, and hath forgotten the fact of his creation, saying: Who will revive these bones when they have rotted away ?
36:79 Say: He will revive them Who produced them at the first, for He is Knower of every creation,
36:80 Who hath appointed for you fire from the green tree, and behold! ye kindle from it.
36:81 Is not He Who created the heavens and the earth Able to create the like of them ? Aye, that He is! for He is the All-Wise Creator,
36:82 But His command, when He intendeth a thing, is only that He saith unto it: Be! and it is.
36:83 Therefor Glory be to Him in Whose hand is the dominion over all things! Unto Him ye will be brought back.

http://www.equestriadaily.com/2012/.....snow.html#more

That is all. (What? I like music boxes!)

...not a subject I find particularly interesting, but a pair of my siblings do. There had always been a sort of wall when it came to back-tracking because of this great-great grandfather no one would talk about. Well, and there's a great-great grandmother we can barely even prove existed because she was a native american and some elements in the family were racist enough to not want to acknowledge her, but that's a different issue.

Well, my brother was able to track down a branch of the family we didn't know existed living in Kentucky and between the information they had and the information he had, they were able to piece together what happened with great-great grandpa. This is so juicy...

So, he had abandoned the family and fled to Kentucky with a much younger woman. Why, that's pretty danged romantic, if not exactly what you would call responsible. Certainly not worth blotting the guy out of existence over, right?

The thing was, this younger woman was his niece. Ooooooooohhhhhhhh...

So! That was fun. We knew that some of our ancestors were honest-to-God slave-having plantation owners, but now we have names, even a few pictures. We have a picture of one guy in his civil war duds who had been a professional horse racer (never saw that comin').

Buuuuuuuuuut we run into another wall once we get into the 1700's as it appears that an important link was, in all likelihood, an escaped criminal living under an assumed name. So it goes.

No, don't worry about the ranting angry guy, he's always like that...he might could stand to mellow out a bit...just sayin'. Anyhoo, video description contains the pertinent links if you don't feel like listening to the guy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-lNbW-DeFM

(  nexcg asked for some lyrics for a song. The working title was "Prolonging the Infection" so I decided to make it about addiction to home-made desomorphine, which in case you didn't know is highly impure and tends to kill its users within a few years, causing massive tissue damage. So I churned this out in about five minutes, which may be why it's not so hot. XP )

Skin peeling
[I just need a fix today]
Unfeeling
[watching me rot away]

Can't afford my own
so I do the best I can at home

needle like a mother's teat
womb-sweet wound

two years
[too long]
life left
[at best]
sweating iodine
putrified alive

In a curious twist of fate, it turns out that the local Native American burial ground was built on top of a Christian churchyard.

And if you're reading this, that probably means I like you. Like, a better than 50% chance. So, as long as we're on such cozy terms, why don't we get to know each other a little better. Ask me any question you like and I will do my best to give you an honest answer.

Just like, don't ask for my address or social security number or anything, 'cause I ain't tellin' ya that. XP So, ask away. It'll be fun.

I actually typed out the chain of events that led me to the state I'm in now. Then I realized that no one wants to hear that crap and deleted it! Yay!

I had my last cigarette about...hmm...an hour ago. Well, that's not really true, I still have a half a cigarette stashed somewhere along with about five grams of loose tobacco (and as a former pothead, I can make a pipe out of FREAKING ANYTHING. It's a skill you pick up).

Point is, this is gonna be trickier than I thought. 'cause...ever since I smoked that "last cigarette" I haven't been able to think about anything other than going out and smoking that other half a cigarette. You ever look at the picture on a can of "scrubbin' bubbles" or whatever that bathroom cleaner's called? I swear that guy is a pervert.

So yeah, I'm gonna go smoke now. And yes, I do have some of that nicorette gum and no, I will not be completing a full 12 week course considering a week's worth of gum costs me as much as a month's worth of cigarettes. Jingle bells. I figure if I can get through just one week, I'll be ok. Just have to avoid being around people who smoke...and not think about cigarettes...which means I should probably not even post this, but hey...no, nevermind, I got nothin'.

Oh, and I'm supposed to get mood swings and stuff. Well, hold on to your fucking hats, like everyone isn't used to that already.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIicOeSNR7M

Although "mustard" and "custard" are only one letter different, when it comes to making pastries you should keep in mind that they're not interchangeable.

"Nobody calls ME a liar!"

~ Every compulsive liar I've ever met

Once again, the time has come for the yearly viewing of "Haibane Renmei," my favorite series. A major plot point revolves around New Year's Eve and the show deals heavily in themes of birth and rebirth, so I've watched it every New Year's Eve since I first saw it.

Rebirth...that's what the holiday is about, right? So people make resolutions and whatnot...despite stupendous rates of failure. Haha, well, it's a nice thought, anyway. I usually don't bother, but this year I'm gonna give it a whack. (No, not that kind of whack, you perverts!)

And I think I'll make this same resolution every year from now on: This year, I'm going to be a better person. Not a great person, certainly not the best person, just better than I am now.

So, assuming I live for another ten years, I oughta become as good as the average (guilty) death row inmate. XP

Happy 4th of July!

"Menses"

A girl at first gush, so afraid,
scrapes the armor mother made,
Now she comes away a woman.
Now forever more a woman.

A basket of bread, milk and butter
For her matriarch, Grandmother.
The dark woods could be anywhere,
look, the woods are everywhere.

She meets him where the trees begin,
never once suspecting him.
Fresh and young, the scent of iron,
how he loves her scent of iron.

Droplets sink into the red cotton...

Drip...

Drip...

Drip...

Path of needles, path of pins,
he doesn't want to just be friends.
He'll be waiting when she gets there,
staying patient 'til she gets there.

Her cloak, her clothes, her very best,
her grandma asks her to undress
and throw her garments in the fire,
one by one, she feeds the fire.

"I've brought you butter, milk and bread."
"Leave that aside and come to bed."
The wolf is wearing grandma's clothes!
The wolf is wearing grandma's clothes!

Her bare feet cross the floorboards...

Step...

Step...

Step...

Outside, the wind dies,
afraid to profane
the silent winter moonrise.

http://pinkfoxpublications.net/allasso/shame/

There's also a print version which you can buy if you're so inclined. And if you don't mind voting for my story for the "reader's choice award" that would be pretty spiffy of ya.