A small update on things. A few months ago, a friend and I started a weekly art stream, every Thursday, usually at noon my time. We started out streaming on his Discord server, but eventually I will be streaming to Picarto, or some other platform, so anyone can watch if they want. It adds structure to the development of my art skills.

One of the good things about my life is that I have friendships and a job that form a foundation of stability. It's been like this for several years now, and at this point, it's hard to imagine life any other way. The job supports my life, and my friends are the reason to keep it going. I work overnight, then I do shopping, then chores, then time with my friends online, then I go to bed. It gives my life a structure that's very important to me.

The art stream has become a part of that process. I've tried to leverage the time in the stream time order to progress my art. I did one drawing of a cat carrying a bookbag. It started out as a personal character, but then I decided to make him blue and purple, so that was that. But it was a lot of fun. After that it was some muscle guys, where I have been teaching myself how to do digital paint.

Then I decided to tackle humanoid faces. I'm in a Pathfinder campaign. I have a half-orc character. I wanted to draw him, but I remembered that I struggle with human-style faces! So I spent a few weeks experimenting with that. Maybe I'll post some of those attempts in scraps. Is that something someone would want to see?

The art stream has been fun. We've had some other artists come and draw with us, and recently I've received some very useful input. That's something I didn't get enough of when I was younger -- open communication with other artists in order to share techniques and advice. I used to be so shut off from others. Hard to think about how I lived like that for so many years.

I should also apologize for something. When I was creating this journal today, I realized that I had previously featured a journal saying that I would be streaming on Picarto, but that never materialized. If anyone's been checking and seeing nothing, I'm sorry about that. It took a few tries to get something going, and having a friend to start it with me was also a big help.

As of today, I have streaming set up with Picarto!

The link is:
https://www.picarto.tv/NightCatsRoom

I have a tablet and like to stream sometimes during my available hours. Due to my work schedule this is somewhat limited, but the possible hours for drawing are:
Monday - Friday: 11 AM - 3 PM Central
Saturday - Sunday: 9 AM - 3 PM Central

Right now there isn't yet an active plan to stream regularly, but I intend to make it a part of my life. Drawing helps relieve my anxiety and provides a landscape of linework that I can explore, solving little puzzles and deriving solutions while I listen to music and audio books. It is a world in which I can wander where my daily hurts and worries trouble me less, and this provides a measure of peace.

Everyone is welcome, although the content will vary between completely clean and adults-only, depending on what captures my attention.

A wonderful thing has happened! As of Saturday the 7th, I have come into possession of a large collection of files from my mid-20's, including backups of my art, music, stories and website designs! I found things I thought I would never see again, and some things I had completely forgotten ever existed. For the past decade, I have been carrying around a box of IDE hard drives from my early-mid 20's. Somewhere between 15 and 20. A friend of mine offered to go through them and recover what he could. On Saturday I got them back, and I sorted through them at length.

Seeing these drawings 2004 and earlier made me realize that I did in fact have a pretty good style back then. There are art seeds I sowed back then that, if my life had not gone the way it did, might have flowered and borne fruit. There was, for example, a whole directory named "post-this" full of art I meant to post but didn't have a chance to, because of an apartment fire that happened.

I will be sharing these drawings from bygone days, but I have a question first. How should I upload them so that they don't block all of the newer pictures from my gallery? If I post all of the older art, then the first few pages of my gallery will be full of it, and the new stuff will be stuck at the back. Is there any way to avoid this?

Up until recently I've been using Photoshop for my drawing and painting. However, after consultation with some other artists, I've begun to explore different solutions. Namely Paint Tool Sai and Clip Studio Paint.

The difference in the line work alone is extraordinary. The pen/ink tool in Sai and CSP allow for much greater articulation of line width and expression than anything I could do previously. It enables me to do far better line work. And the line stability tool reduces jitter and makes longer lines and curves so much easier. All of that, coupled with setting the undo/redo keyboard shortcuts to something my right hand can use as I draw (with my left), and it has opened up a whole new world of creative potential to me! It's very exciting.

I have several folders of old paper drawings I scanned in from 2012/2013 that I can complete, but I'm also doing completely new art.

These are wonderful times of adventure.

I'd welcome communication with other artists, or even just fans.
I have Telegram and Discord.
Send me a note!

I started drawing again on November 9th, sixteen days ago.

Almost every day I go through terrible anxiety. About human interaction, about the future, about life in general. I worry constantly.

Not without reason -- my car is falling apart and on the verge of dying, and a hard, cold winter is almost here. My job is okay, but at any moment there could be a catastrophe which I have no idea how to handle -- no one there trains me on anything. My blood pressure isn't bad (I had my yearly physical today), but my resting pulse is like 96, which, according to one study I read about means I'll probably be dead within 20 years. I still have no idea how to make friends. A dozen other things.

So I'm stressed out.

Drawing helps. It doesn't make the anxiety go away, but it gives me something else to focus on.

For almost 2 years I've played Ark: Survival Evolved, and that has helped. But during the idle time when I'm not actually doing anything with the game, I pull out my tablet and start sketching, and it's wonderful! It really gets me back in touch with my style.

I have plans. I want to do so much. Let's see how far I can get!

I have finished my most recent commission. At least, I think so. ^.^ It's really cool to be able to do art that someone likes again. It's been a long time.

One of the greatest problems I had with my art was my line work. It's clear when looking at some of my drawings, that the lines are fuzzy and hairy. I recently found a youtube video about how to correct this, and it changed my perspective completely. I wish I had seen it twenty years ago.

The process of inking seemed like an impossible barrier to me. I felt like I couldn't move past it. Then I saw these guys having one hand on the pen and one on the undo button, and it clicked! I could do that too! So while working on this recent commission, I have been using this technique, and it helped me greatly!

Maybe I could start to draw some of the things I imagine...

By the way, here is the video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBE.....2&t=7s

I recently got a commission from someone to draw Victor the bunny from Greenmount! It's exciting, I haven't had a commission in a long time.

It's been tough to get back into drawing again, but it's really good for me, so I'm glad for the experience. I'm using a Bamboo CTH-470 for this one, and I find that it's actually working very well for me. Using a smaller tablet helps my linework.

So I have a question -- How do you all picture Victor the rabbit? Ears up, or down? Four toes or five? What sorta clothing do you imagine him wearing? The input will help inspire me.

Thanks! :)

For a little over a year I have been playing Ark: Survival Evolved with a few friends. I am an admin member of a tribe of survivors on a private server. We've decided to open it up to new players, ally, neutral or opponent.

We have a Discord channel for Ark, and welcome everyone worldwide. If you're interested, send me a note and I will tell you how to join.

For those who are curious, this is a popular game on Steam. The ARK is a survival environment that contains prehistoric creatures like dinosaurs but is part of a science-fiction storyline, with high tech in the later stages. Great music, the physics and graphics are superb, and the landscapes are quite beautiful, with day/night cycle and weather. It's fun taming and raising animals, gathering resources and having all kinds of adventures. It's been a productive hobby that puts me in contact with other people and engages my mind.

Let's play together!

Thanks to those who replied to my post about the new story. I went back and read it and, "...does anybody still care?" was laying on the drama kinda thick. Sorry everybody.

I think I will post the story. It's in a sci-fi fantasy setting similar to Blue-Eyed Diamond, but more in depth. It's very personal. I wrote it before Greenmount, when I was 18. I did it to help me get over a crush I had on a guy who didn't return my feelings.

I kept it to myself, because writing it was basically therapy. It seems a shame though, to not share it with people after I put so much work into it.

Everyone knows me for Greenmount. Blue-Eyed Diamond. There's another story I wrote, in 1998, but I never showed anyone. I still have it, and I'm thinking about posting it, chapter by chapter.

What do you think?

I wonder... does anybody still care?

Two years ago around this time, my life started to get back on track from all the mess that I was dealing with in 2015 and early 2016, and as things started to clear up, something completely unexpected began to occur. A story line began to form in my thoughts. It was intermittent at first and very distant, so I didn't realize what was happening. Then as more and more of my attention began to draw toward it, it became clearer. I could almost hear it. Over time I began to listen to it-- it was a narrative, words, describing scenes. Eventually I came to understand that the story was about Roger and Mike, two characters from my GreenMount story, from almost 20 years ago. But it was NEW, taking place years later in their lives. This fascinated me, and so then, as the lines of dialogue and description grew vivid, I could SEE scenes in my mind's eye, unfolding for me.

Then I moved to Iowa and I became distracted, and I lost track of it for a while.

And I don't know precisely why, but for the past month, it's been happening again. It's the start of a sequel series to GreenMount, using some of the same characters, later in their lives. It's expanded now beyond just a single scene, into a full chapter, and today I got the second one. It's more richly plotted and compelling than anything in the original series, and it feels _urgent_.

I WANT to write this! It's GOOD.

My problem is that I've had writer's block for so long and so completely that I can't even RP anymore. The actual act of sitting down and writing the words is so difficult for me, nearly impossible. It's psychologically painful. I can't sit still for longer than ten minutes at a time with writing for years. So I haven't really started.

So I'm not sure how to handle this. This is a quality story, and it's coming together beautifully, like weaving a tapestry of lives into a cloth full of intricate patterns of vivid colors and shapes. I have to find a way to do this before it gets away.

It has been too long since I have posted something new. Life is going well for me. Things have been stable for almost two years now. I've learned so much about how to build and nurture friendships in the past year. I've met some amazing people, and they've changed my life. I'm very grateful for that. I sometimes think about writing at work. I think it would be good for me. Ditto for drawing. Maybe I will. The hard part is finding the motivation to do it.

I've been watching the approach of 10k page views for a while, and was finally reached over the past week. Awesome!

I've been learning to draw with my arm lately. It's always been a hindrance to my art, because I never properly learned how to do it. I see other artists able to make crisp, clear curves, and I want to be able to do that. So I've been practicing, an hour a day. It was VERY difficult at first, but over time I'm improving.

So now I'm wondering, are there places where I could post my art and get constructive criticism on my technique and my style?

I don't talk to other artists, mostly because I'm shy and I don't want to bother them. But I believe that conversing honestly with other artists could be of immense benefit to me. Any ideas?

First of all, I want to say Thank You to everyone who offered help and advice. I ordered the Huion pen without a 100% guarantee that it would work with my Monoprice tablet but... IT DOES! I'm so very happy. I'm going to purchase a second one, now that I know it works, just in case anything goes wrong in the future. I am really looking forward to drawing again.

I started drawing again yesterday. I came up with something really good, so far-- my line skill seems to have improved dramatically. Here's a link to it.

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23469894/

The problem is that the pen seems to have broken. I've tried everything-- a new battery, installing to another computer-- and it does the same thing.

It's a Monoprice 12x9 tablet, and it's worked beautifully since 2012. I love this tablet. I have purchased replacement pens for it before, as recently as March 2015, but they're no longer available from the Monoprice website (monoprice.com).

It's this one:
http://www.sears.com/monoprice-grap.....-SPM7793570522
http://www.staples.com/Monoprice-10.....roduct_1255907

I have e-mailed the company and am waiting to hear back from them, but in the mean time...

Am I missing something?

Does anyone know where I could find one?

Thank you for all of your help.
My art thanks you, too.

NightCat / Dwayne Timberland

I'm lucky to be in a very good and stable position in my life right now. After all the turmoil and tribulation of the previous two years, it's good for things to be boring for a while. I'm very grateful to everyone who views my art and listens to my music; I really appreciate it.

I intend to get back into art; I've been going through tutorials on digital painting techniques and will have things to share in the future.

Thank you all and be well.

I woke up this morning with this wonderful feeling. I thought, "Did I buy a new video game last night?" and "Did I get something new?" That's how it felt. Then I remembered, after I got home from work on Friday, I spent four hours writing and studying flash cards for terms and acronyms. It's a great feeling, suddenly having a library of new information in my mind. All of these new shapes in my mind come from the acquisition and integration of new terminology. I love it. It's not just a job; it's a hobby. I've never had anything like this in my life.

It's been a month and a week since I started this job as a networking intern. The first thing that struck me was the sheer enormity of the amount of acronyms. Then it was the concepts. But it seems that, against all odds, I'm actually developing an understanding of it. I haven't gotten acquainted yet with Cisco, but have focused instead on Juniper routers and JunOS. Setting up interfaces, then OSPF, then BGP, and I learned about MPLS and RSVP, even though we don't use it. And IPSec, PTPP, etc. Very good things to know. On Monday I'm going to tackle VRRP and whatever else associates with that. After getting over the initial concepts, learning new protocols becomes much easier.

My immediate supervisor-- a really nice guy-- offered me his old Wacom tablet with stylus, so I may be drawing again in the near future. I've also managed to figure out how to use Ableton with Reaktor as a VST plugin. I'm not sure which I enjoy more: designing music, or visual art.

Anyways, I'm doing very well. I miss you all.

It's a shame that the situation in Georgia didn't work out, but if I hadn't moved there, then none of this would have been possible. Sometimes extremely beneficial things can arise from unexpected misfortune. It gives me hope.

I've been digging into networking. There are thousands of acronyms-- that's the first thing you notice when you start to learn it. Everything from ATM to PPPoE and 802.x. It's beautiful and remarkable. There's an entire landscape full of astonishing technology that I'm learning day by day.

I am averaging about 35 new acronyms per day. It takes a lot of effort and the memorization takes time, but I'm doing my best.

Blender is also awesome. It's a rendering application that was brought to my attention by someone recently.

So, if you had access to a server cluster, what would you do with it?

I'm thinking render farm; I've always liked 3D rendering. Or perhaps bitcoin mining. But I'm new to this, and there are most likely many options I'm overlooking. Please feel free to reply, or note me if it's better kept private. If you know of anyone who works with networks, ask 'em. It's an interesting question. :)

I'm talking about dozens of servers that aren't being used for anything, and won't be. If I have a good cause, I may be able to do something with them.

I've almost finished my first work week with the new job. At times it's very annoying to be without my furniture and my previous possessions, but I saved the most important things; videos I made of my family from my childhood, the book my mother wrote before she died, the watch my mate gave me before I left Orlando, very personal momentos from throughout my life. I made a special trip to pick them up before I drove here, and I'm glad I did.

Training to be a network administrator is both incredibly challenging and intensely fascinating. The first thing I had to contend with was being overwhelmed by acronyms. The concepts integral to understanding networks have specific names defining their functions, but in order to make them easier to talk about, they're given acronyms. TCP, SAN, BGP, PoE, and hundreds of others. It's like learning a second language-- and C++ is already my second language, and Spanish my third, so this is my fourth!

That's just, as they say, the tip of the iceberg. So much is going on here right now, and most of it I'm not allowed to talk about. A few months ago, I couldn't have imagined that this opportunity would even exist. But then that's how life unfolds, isn't it?

It's astonishing how a terrible setback can become an extraordinary step forward.

So, I've moved to Iowa. The drive lasted almost 24 hours, and I passed through the most amazing landscapes I've ever seen. In Georgia, I drove through downtown Atlanta, which was hectic, but wonderful. In Tennessee there were huge, green, tree-covered mountains-- I can't really put the feeling of that into words; I've never experienced anything like that! In Kentucky there was Louisville, and in Missouri there was Kansas City. I was awake for 36 hours, and nothing like this reminds more than anything else recalls why I called myself "NightCat". It's the end of one mode, and the beginning of something new and extraordinary. I am so grateful to be here.

So the new Greenmount chapter is called "A Simple Life" and it starts with Roger and Mike. More keeps forming everyday. And yes, I got the inspiration for the title from that show. It really fits.

There was a journal by someone a few months ago complaining that the journals here have become like LiveJournal, and that it's wrong. Is it? Writing here to you is wonderful. I want to keep doing it, but not if it is annoying or inappropriate.

I'm in the midst of a multifaceted life transformation. I want to talk to you all, but I don't want to do the wrong thing. Your thoughts?

I've been inspired lately. I wrote most of a new chapter of Greenmount, and other chapters are coming together in my mind almost automatically. It begins roughly fifteen years after the end of the original series.

Otherwise, I'm still surviving. I miss drawing like I did toward the end of last year. They were very stressful times, but drawing like that was a bright spot on that dark stage.

Hopefully when things stabilize within the next few months, I can do some again. I also hope I can get access to my computer again so I can keep in more regular contact.
I miss you all.