I love FurAffinity. However, it does not allow me to make custom folders to separate my art into categories.

So I have posted a LOT more of my older art, circa 1996-2002, to:

http://dwaynetimberland.sofurry.com/

I don't upload as often there-- my newer stuff goes here first. FA is my primary art site., but there's all kinds of stuff on SoFurry that I won't be posting here for a while.

WWW.SOUNDCLOUD.COM/DWAYNETIMBERLAND

I've changed so much over the past couple of months. It's been enlightening, renewing, amazing, to make so many new acquaintances, and that some of them have become friends is better than I ever imagined. I had to get one person out of my life, but at the same time I've developed communication with so many new furs. I'm so very grateful for that.

Does anybody here play DragonVale? If so, let's give each other some gems!

If you don't know what DragonVale is, it's one of the most popular smartphone apps for building a park where you can raise and breed over a hundred different kind of dragons. It's available for the iPhone (and iPad, etc) and the Droid... maybe other brands, I'm not sure. But if you like dragons and like to play games on your phone, then check it out!

I just got Kairos!!! He's so amazing!

Anybody remember these?

It started as 4 channel MODs, but then progressed into a whole music scene that spanned the globe. I used Triton's Fasttracker 2 to make lots of music. I found all of my work from those days, and it'd be good to know that somebody out there knows what I'm talking about. I used to follow Blacktron, Explizit and a variety of others.

Over the past couple of weeks I've explored new techniques, and taken old techniques further than I ever have before. It's going well. I also visited and studied digital painting tutorials on DeviantArt.

I read about color theory, among other things, and I've found all kinds of things I've been missing. Beginner's mistakes-- I've always used white & black to shade, with no concept of how to apply warm/cool colors for shadows, no hue variation, using blank white backgrounds, invariably using smudge to blend, I had no concept of how to use custom brushes to do anything, and those are just the first things I immediately discovered.

Then, two days ago something amazing happened-- I finally got my tablet to work with Sai Paint Tools, Manga Studio, Gimp and all the other programs I couldn't use. The simple act of learning these other program interfaces and exploring them has evoked new interest. It's exciting.

So a couple of weeks ago I gave myself this ultimatum: Get serious with my art, or find a more productive way to spend my time.

It hasn't just been running in place and frustrating myself. I'm not trying to compete with anyone. It's not about numbers or popularity. It's deeper than that. I felt a profound dissatisfaction with my style -- I always have! I could see that there were things WRONG with it, but I had no idea what they were. I saw that, compared to other color furry art, mine was missing vital qualities. But I didn't know what they were. I wish I'd looked this stuff up years ago.

It's going to take time to learn new and better habits, and to integrate color theory and these new digital painting techniques into my art, I know that. As long as I'm making progress, real progress, I won't quit. Maybe eventually I'll be taken more seriously, but I have to earn that. I kept hoping that someone would tell me what was missing, or at least point me in the right direction. But that isn't how the world works. Some things you have to figure out for yourself.

Seven weeks left. If I can't make some kind of art that I consider really worthwhile within that amount of time, I'm done. I won't take down my art from here, I'll keep my galleries up, but I'll quit drawing permanently.

Hey!

I have been composing music for something like fifteen years. I am looking for someone to talk to about writing music. I know of a couple of people who compose music but they won't talk to me about it. Not sure why-- maybe I'm breaking some rule of etiquette, I don't know. I used to own a Juno 106, but nowadays I use software synths like Reaktor, and suites like Nuendo, and FL Studio.

What I am really looking for is someone to listen to my tracks and talk about them, and if they have their own works, I'll be happy to listen to theirs and talk about them, too. I think my music probably sucks, but if that's the case, I should know now, before I waste any more time on it. :)

I am giving myself until the end of summer to produce and post new artwork which receives in excess of 500 page views. It's nice to have people encouraging me to continue drawing and patting me on the back for what I've already done, but the truth is that I haven't done anything particularly popular. The entire number of pageviews from my gallery since the beginning is under 2500. Popular artists frequently get that many page views for a _single image_ within hours of posting it. There are so many more artists than there were when I used to post my work back in the late 90's and early 2000's.

So here's my plan: I have a little over two months of summer, and I intend to draw every day, actively working to make real progress. If I'm not satisfied that I can create something significant within that amount of time, then I think it's best if I leave the artwork to more capable hands and turn my efforts toward a better use of my time.

As I said to someone today, staring down the barrel of middle age really changes one's perspective. I need to be practical and judicious about my goals and how I spend my remaining time, while I still have some of my youth left. Platitudes and pep-talks simply don't cut it anymore.

I'm almost halfway through my 30's as of today. I'm sad to be alone on another birthday, but in the past six weeks I've put more effort into communicating with people, both through my artwork and online conversations.

I'm still taking commissions, and doing the work is giving me a sense of accomplishment.

Life has been full of ups and downs the past week and a half. But I've gotten back to baseline, and now I've received commissions!

Now, a great big "THANK YOU!" to everyone who's requested one so far. It actuallly helps alleviate my depression, having something productive and creative to do. I really love doing this-- I had forgotten how much.

For the present moment my slots are all filled up while I really get down to business and hammer away at these commissions.

It's the first time in a long time that I've had work like this in front of me, so I'm determined to do my best for all of you. You're the greatest!!!

I'm opening up commissions. Three slots available for single character drawings with color. $15.00. Check my commission section for more info.

I need money to pay rent during the summer, so I will be looking forward to flexing my creative muscles with some actual work. I'm excited about this, because it will lead to more development of my style and ability. I'll see how much interest there is and how well these first few go. Then I may open up more options for streams, multiple characters, and so on.

Every day I struggle with a feeling of loss. This is the summer of my life, and I should be spending it with people. I have difficulty establishing and maintaining friendships. Coming back with my art has been a way of reaching out. Trying to prove that I'm worth talking to. But every night I don't want to go to bed, because I'm alone. And every morning I don't want to get out of bed because I'm going to spend the day by myself.

What else can I do? Do I join SecondLife? Do I join the Florida Furs list? Do I put my AIM name and Skype name here in hopes someone will contact me and a friendship might begin?

I'm trying to make logical steps to change my situation for the better, while still being cautious and not going too far. Loneliness can make a person vulnerable, so although I recognize the need to be careful, I also need to stop spending the rest of my youth all by myself!

Sorry for the sudden change in tone from the previous entries.

Yesterday I watched a furry live stream channel for the first time. It was great! I made my own channel. There's another way of doing it by join.me.

Would anyone be interested in watching me draw? If so, I'll start posting a web link when I plan to have a long session.

Bringing my art back online has been a wonderful experience. I want to thank everyone who has favorited, commented, and added me to their watch list. All the support, recognition and constructive criticism has encouraged me greatly, and I plan to continue posting.

My dilemma is this: as I go through the drawings that I posted from 1998-2004, it's clear that there's a big difference between what I was capable of then and what I can do now.

Some of my early work makes me feel so embarrassed! But for the sake of nostalgia, I can make it available again for all of you. I can do a variety of things with it:

- post the drawings in my gallery with a name prefix (like, "For nostalgia: [name]")
- post the silly, unfinished, or embarrassing stuff as scraps
- not post the early stuff that makes me feel shy
- other options I haven't considered

How should I handle this?

Over the past few years I have been hiding in isolation. There were personal tragedies involved which initiated it, but the worse thing I did was push away the people who tried to be my friend. So I'm coming back. There are other "NightCat"'s out there, and no disrespect to any of them. Dwayne is my alter-ego, he represents what I thought of myself, but those who know who I am will recognize me.

I hope you can forgive my absence, and still enjoy my work. I will be reposting it in one place, and accepting commissions if they're requested.

I love you all for your support and your kindness, and generosity when I needed it. Some of you will know what I'm talking about. You saved me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

I hope I'm back, anyway. I want to start developing this gallery with new drawings.