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Dreaming of Better Days
Posted 4 years agoLast night, I didn't much sleep. But what little sleep I was able to get, was rewarded by a dream I thought I'd never have. And it was one of the only few best dreams I've ever had in my life.
It was basically a flashback to a better time of my life, when I was in high school. At the time, I lived in an apartment complex me and my friends referred to as "The Glenn". It is now known as Norton Glenn Terrace, which is located on Route 123, just near the Easton town line.
The dream I had took me back to that place and the era of '99 - 2000. I remember in dream I would turn on the TV in the living room to Cartoon Network. Shows like Ed, Edd, & Eddy, Dexter's Lab, Johnny Bravo, and Courage The Cowardly Dog would appear on the screen. I then blinked my eyes for a moment, and found myself sitting upstairs in my room that at the time I shared with my brother. I still remember using a vintage 13" color TV that was old enough it used the old screw terminals on the back for the antenna input. Using an adapter, I was able to hook up a more modern VCR, that had a built-in tuner that was able to tune into cable channels. It was just after midnight when I turned on that TV, and shows like Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, InuYasha, and Wolf's Rain appeared on screen. This was the height of the early Adult Swim era for me, back when they still played the "All kids out of the pool" clips between shows.
After watching a few intros, I turned off the TV, and realized that I had somehow managed to appear in an old laundry mat I used to visit with my mom, and brother. It was located in a neighborhood a lot of people called "The Grove". My mother would load up the laundry into the machines, and drive me down the street to my friend's place, where me and two others used to hang out, watching WWF Smackdown (before the lawsuit brought on by the World Wildlife Foundation). We ordered pizza, as one of my friends started burping the ABC's, the other just shaking his head in disgust. Yes, this actually happened.
Sadly, as I started laughing, I found the scene around me starting to disappear into a thick fog, before waking up. I now sit here with a tear rolling down my cheek, as I type this. That dream brought me back to a better point in my life that I'll never see again. The fun all of us had back in the day will always be cherished, no matter what, as I hope soon I can have more dreams of this nature that remind me of the humble upbringing I had growing up.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
It was basically a flashback to a better time of my life, when I was in high school. At the time, I lived in an apartment complex me and my friends referred to as "The Glenn". It is now known as Norton Glenn Terrace, which is located on Route 123, just near the Easton town line.
The dream I had took me back to that place and the era of '99 - 2000. I remember in dream I would turn on the TV in the living room to Cartoon Network. Shows like Ed, Edd, & Eddy, Dexter's Lab, Johnny Bravo, and Courage The Cowardly Dog would appear on the screen. I then blinked my eyes for a moment, and found myself sitting upstairs in my room that at the time I shared with my brother. I still remember using a vintage 13" color TV that was old enough it used the old screw terminals on the back for the antenna input. Using an adapter, I was able to hook up a more modern VCR, that had a built-in tuner that was able to tune into cable channels. It was just after midnight when I turned on that TV, and shows like Cowboy Bebop, Outlaw Star, InuYasha, and Wolf's Rain appeared on screen. This was the height of the early Adult Swim era for me, back when they still played the "All kids out of the pool" clips between shows.
After watching a few intros, I turned off the TV, and realized that I had somehow managed to appear in an old laundry mat I used to visit with my mom, and brother. It was located in a neighborhood a lot of people called "The Grove". My mother would load up the laundry into the machines, and drive me down the street to my friend's place, where me and two others used to hang out, watching WWF Smackdown (before the lawsuit brought on by the World Wildlife Foundation). We ordered pizza, as one of my friends started burping the ABC's, the other just shaking his head in disgust. Yes, this actually happened.
Sadly, as I started laughing, I found the scene around me starting to disappear into a thick fog, before waking up. I now sit here with a tear rolling down my cheek, as I type this. That dream brought me back to a better point in my life that I'll never see again. The fun all of us had back in the day will always be cherished, no matter what, as I hope soon I can have more dreams of this nature that remind me of the humble upbringing I had growing up.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
A Bad Dream, or a Harsh Reality?
Posted 4 years agoJust woke up from one of the more nastier dreams I've ever had in my life.
I was in a mall of sorts (are those still a thing?), with a good friend of mine, hanging out in the food court. We were discussing a topic that I can't seem to recall, and then we hear some giggling and applauding in the distance. At first, I thought it was a birthday party, or something of that nature. It turns out it was a performance. And it was coming our way.
What approached, was a young fursuiter, appearing to be a parrot raptor hybrid, with blinking eyes, and a moving beak. As the suiter was very lively and friendly, the performer motioned towards a small, yellow wagon that was being pulled behind. In it, was a small, red donation bucket, and a few neatly stacked pamphlets. Upon reading the side of the cart, I saw it was a charity for an animal sanctuary nearby. Both my friend and I gave what we could into the bucket, and the performer danced and waved happily, before giving us both a pamphlet and moving on. Afterwards we both discovered that inside the brochure, was not only information about the sanctuary, but also contained a free, one day admission ticket. I've never felt more humbled, and honored in all the dreams I had.
But then, things took a turn for the worst.
A group of rowdy, scumbag, rotten to the core preteens approached the suiter, pointing and laughing. The performer stopped, and began to look around cautiously, as the torment worsened. The situation escalated quickly, when one of the kids dumped half a chocolate milkshake on the performer's suit, as another grabbed the donation bucket, and ran off out of view. The remaining bunch then shoved the performer down to the floor, before running back into the food court crowd. I tended to the fursuiter, who seemed to be shaken, but was otherwise, alright. My friend kept an eye on where the kids went, before notifying a nearby security officer, who I'm guessing (and hoping) was looking for them as well. The officer, once informed, grabbed his radio, and take off in the kids' direction. The performer quietly thanked me for the help, and gathered what was possible, before heading out of view.
But, sadly, it doesn't end there.
The guard found the parents of the children. Once confronted and informed of their childrens' behavior and actions, rather than being responsible adults and owning up, they themselves became children. Everyone in the food court turned their heads, as the round of screaming, swearing, and accusational profiling began. This was shortly followed by the same destructive behavior the kids earlier displayed, but became worse as tables and chairs began flying. A sudden evacuation order played through the mall's PA system after, before the fire alarms sounded, jolting me awake.
I sit here now, as I type, and I have to think on what lead up to these events. Could something like this happen in real life? Or is this some sort of warning of things to come? Either way, it's something I hope no fursuiters, or anyone for that matter, should ever have to experience. I'm just glad to see the suiter make it out alright, before things got worse.
Perhaps this dream is a way of telling me to be prepared for anything, as we are all currently in times of depression, frustration, and uncertainty. People today seem to want to point their fingers, and complain about things they don't understand, nor will take the time to understand them. They are quick to place judgement upon others as they see fit. But when they themselves are judged, they become irrational, violent, and destructive. I can only hope for the future of humanity's wellbeing, that things turn around soon. For I fear that the actions portrayed in my dream, will be an everyday occurrence in real life.
I have no further thoughts on this matter, so I end it here.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
I was in a mall of sorts (are those still a thing?), with a good friend of mine, hanging out in the food court. We were discussing a topic that I can't seem to recall, and then we hear some giggling and applauding in the distance. At first, I thought it was a birthday party, or something of that nature. It turns out it was a performance. And it was coming our way.
What approached, was a young fursuiter, appearing to be a parrot raptor hybrid, with blinking eyes, and a moving beak. As the suiter was very lively and friendly, the performer motioned towards a small, yellow wagon that was being pulled behind. In it, was a small, red donation bucket, and a few neatly stacked pamphlets. Upon reading the side of the cart, I saw it was a charity for an animal sanctuary nearby. Both my friend and I gave what we could into the bucket, and the performer danced and waved happily, before giving us both a pamphlet and moving on. Afterwards we both discovered that inside the brochure, was not only information about the sanctuary, but also contained a free, one day admission ticket. I've never felt more humbled, and honored in all the dreams I had.
But then, things took a turn for the worst.
A group of rowdy, scumbag, rotten to the core preteens approached the suiter, pointing and laughing. The performer stopped, and began to look around cautiously, as the torment worsened. The situation escalated quickly, when one of the kids dumped half a chocolate milkshake on the performer's suit, as another grabbed the donation bucket, and ran off out of view. The remaining bunch then shoved the performer down to the floor, before running back into the food court crowd. I tended to the fursuiter, who seemed to be shaken, but was otherwise, alright. My friend kept an eye on where the kids went, before notifying a nearby security officer, who I'm guessing (and hoping) was looking for them as well. The officer, once informed, grabbed his radio, and take off in the kids' direction. The performer quietly thanked me for the help, and gathered what was possible, before heading out of view.
But, sadly, it doesn't end there.
The guard found the parents of the children. Once confronted and informed of their childrens' behavior and actions, rather than being responsible adults and owning up, they themselves became children. Everyone in the food court turned their heads, as the round of screaming, swearing, and accusational profiling began. This was shortly followed by the same destructive behavior the kids earlier displayed, but became worse as tables and chairs began flying. A sudden evacuation order played through the mall's PA system after, before the fire alarms sounded, jolting me awake.
I sit here now, as I type, and I have to think on what lead up to these events. Could something like this happen in real life? Or is this some sort of warning of things to come? Either way, it's something I hope no fursuiters, or anyone for that matter, should ever have to experience. I'm just glad to see the suiter make it out alright, before things got worse.
Perhaps this dream is a way of telling me to be prepared for anything, as we are all currently in times of depression, frustration, and uncertainty. People today seem to want to point their fingers, and complain about things they don't understand, nor will take the time to understand them. They are quick to place judgement upon others as they see fit. But when they themselves are judged, they become irrational, violent, and destructive. I can only hope for the future of humanity's wellbeing, that things turn around soon. For I fear that the actions portrayed in my dream, will be an everyday occurrence in real life.
I have no further thoughts on this matter, so I end it here.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Midweek Meltdown
Posted 4 years agoJust wanted to give you all a quick update.
Tuesday, my grandmother wanted to do some shopping, as well as do some banking to take care of some bills. Naturally, my father decided to invite himself along. On the way to the store, he wanted my grandmother to stop at a convenience store to pick up a pack of smokes, and a few beers. My grandmother objected, but gave in. She sat out in the parking lot, and watched him go inside. It was then when someone ran out yelling to call for an ambulance, she knew then what had happened. My father went down hard, after having a stroke, smashing his face into the bare concrete floor.
He was rushed to the ER unit of Good Samaritan Hospital out in Brocton, MA. From there, he was transferred to the ICU after extensive testing, and monitoring. My grandmother, of course, was confused, and distraught since no one in the hospital would help her. She came home in tears.
Wednesday came around, and around noon time, a phone call comes in from the hospital. My father was on the other end of the line, saying that he released himself, and was ready to be picked up, "requesting" to go to the liquor store along the way back.
From what my grandmother told me when she got back to the house later on, the hospital wanted to implant a pace maker in his chest, since his heart is only working at 20% capacity. However, the doctor stated that in order to have the pace maker put in, my father would have to give up his addiction to alcohol. It was then my father said some coarse language, and rudely demanded that they release him at once on his own free will. The hospital, sadly, could not deny his request. Having signed the release forms, my father walked out the front door, and to a nearby Seven Eleven to pick up a pack of cigarettes. My grandmother arrived 5 minutes later, and the pack was empty.
The ride back home for her, was long, and stressful. My old man turned around, and basically said to my grandmother, that after learning of the condition he was in, would make it his goal to, after stating he had no purpose left in life, basically drink himself out of this world. This left my grandmother in tears as she had flashbacks to when his father took his own life from the same addiction, along with severe depression, Christmas morning of '84.
It is said that the son inherits the sins of the father. I guess I was the one that broke the mold, since I don't smoke, and only drink moderately during social events. Which, as we all know, hasn't been the case for well over a year now.
I'm not sure what to do anymore. It's reached the point now I just don't care. Whatever happens, happens.
I have nothing else to report on, so I'm going to end it here.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Tuesday, my grandmother wanted to do some shopping, as well as do some banking to take care of some bills. Naturally, my father decided to invite himself along. On the way to the store, he wanted my grandmother to stop at a convenience store to pick up a pack of smokes, and a few beers. My grandmother objected, but gave in. She sat out in the parking lot, and watched him go inside. It was then when someone ran out yelling to call for an ambulance, she knew then what had happened. My father went down hard, after having a stroke, smashing his face into the bare concrete floor.
He was rushed to the ER unit of Good Samaritan Hospital out in Brocton, MA. From there, he was transferred to the ICU after extensive testing, and monitoring. My grandmother, of course, was confused, and distraught since no one in the hospital would help her. She came home in tears.
Wednesday came around, and around noon time, a phone call comes in from the hospital. My father was on the other end of the line, saying that he released himself, and was ready to be picked up, "requesting" to go to the liquor store along the way back.
From what my grandmother told me when she got back to the house later on, the hospital wanted to implant a pace maker in his chest, since his heart is only working at 20% capacity. However, the doctor stated that in order to have the pace maker put in, my father would have to give up his addiction to alcohol. It was then my father said some coarse language, and rudely demanded that they release him at once on his own free will. The hospital, sadly, could not deny his request. Having signed the release forms, my father walked out the front door, and to a nearby Seven Eleven to pick up a pack of cigarettes. My grandmother arrived 5 minutes later, and the pack was empty.
The ride back home for her, was long, and stressful. My old man turned around, and basically said to my grandmother, that after learning of the condition he was in, would make it his goal to, after stating he had no purpose left in life, basically drink himself out of this world. This left my grandmother in tears as she had flashbacks to when his father took his own life from the same addiction, along with severe depression, Christmas morning of '84.
It is said that the son inherits the sins of the father. I guess I was the one that broke the mold, since I don't smoke, and only drink moderately during social events. Which, as we all know, hasn't been the case for well over a year now.
I'm not sure what to do anymore. It's reached the point now I just don't care. Whatever happens, happens.
I have nothing else to report on, so I'm going to end it here.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Time Goes On
Posted 4 years agoMy grandmother's mental health is starting to show through more and more, as each day passes. Her memory is depleting at an alarming rate, as she's woken up, and asked me what month it is on a few occasions. There's been times when I would come home on a Friday, or Saturday night from hanging out with a friend, and see the gas stove left on, thankfully at a low flame. And more often than not, I've seen her trying to change the TV channel using the cordless phone, rather than the remote. However, she refuses to receive any medical treatment for her condition, and strongly objects to going into a assisted living facility.
My father's mental health, well... I'm sure you all know by now the struggles both I, and my grandmother must endure with his addictions. I did, however, do some legal research on the matter, and was pleased to learn that in the state of Massachusetts, any family member can submit a Section 35 form to the district courts, to have another member evaluated for psychiatric treatment. There's just one problem. My grandmother refuses to sign such a form, as she's afraid my father will lose all sense of reality, thus harming, or even killing himself. I could sign it myself, but I'm sure hers would be required as well.
All I can do at this point, is close my eyes, and go through a spiritual time warp, back to a time when things were more on my level. I would enjoy the days of going to school with a Discman in my hoodie pocket, playing a burned CD, containing tracks by various artists like 3 Doors Down, Incubus, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Staind, Korn, Disturbed, System of a Down, and many others. Then, after school, I would come home, do some homework, play some Starfox Adventures and Assault, and afterwards sleep the rest of the evening away, so I could catch anime on Adult Swim, such as Outlaw Star, Inuyasha, Cowboy Bebop, and Wolf's Rain. There's not a day that goes by that I wish I could travel back to those days, when life more fresh, and enjoyable.
Then, I open my eyes back up to find myself back in the current situation of everything, and come to terms with the cold, hard fact that time does indeed, go on.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
My father's mental health, well... I'm sure you all know by now the struggles both I, and my grandmother must endure with his addictions. I did, however, do some legal research on the matter, and was pleased to learn that in the state of Massachusetts, any family member can submit a Section 35 form to the district courts, to have another member evaluated for psychiatric treatment. There's just one problem. My grandmother refuses to sign such a form, as she's afraid my father will lose all sense of reality, thus harming, or even killing himself. I could sign it myself, but I'm sure hers would be required as well.
All I can do at this point, is close my eyes, and go through a spiritual time warp, back to a time when things were more on my level. I would enjoy the days of going to school with a Discman in my hoodie pocket, playing a burned CD, containing tracks by various artists like 3 Doors Down, Incubus, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Staind, Korn, Disturbed, System of a Down, and many others. Then, after school, I would come home, do some homework, play some Starfox Adventures and Assault, and afterwards sleep the rest of the evening away, so I could catch anime on Adult Swim, such as Outlaw Star, Inuyasha, Cowboy Bebop, and Wolf's Rain. There's not a day that goes by that I wish I could travel back to those days, when life more fresh, and enjoyable.
Then, I open my eyes back up to find myself back in the current situation of everything, and come to terms with the cold, hard fact that time does indeed, go on.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Strange Dream
Posted 4 years agoThis is been replaying in my head, since I woke up this morning, and it's starting to make me question a few things.
Last night, I had a dream where I was in Logan Airport, in Boston MA (BOS). I knew I was heading for a convention, but really didn't know the name of it. It was about shortly after midnight, and I was trying to get from the ticket counter, to the gate. Once I was in the right terminal, I proceeded towards the designated gate where I could see the plane in view. They were already boarding, and I noticed most of the other boarding passengers had on ears, tails, and various furry themed attire, so I knew I was getting on the right flight.
This is where the problems began. As I headed for the gate, There were numerous amounts of people in tuxedos, and business suits approaching me, and proceeded to engage in a round of endless introductions, handshakes, and a few "Hey, remember this person?" I have never met any of these folks, and I could hear the final boarding call announced over the airport's PA system. I knew I had to get out of there fast. I tried my best to remain calm, and diplomatic about things, saying that I'd either call, or send an email to some of these people. As I got closer to the gate, my heart dropped when I saw the last passenger enter the gate, before the door closed behind them. As I tried to call out to the gate attendant to hold the flight, I found myself surrounded by more business suits engaging in more handshakes and how-you-doings. Then, I saw the plane backing out of the gate, and knew it was too late. At the same time, all the business suits turned around, and walked away, leaving me feeling defeated, and depressed.
And if that wasn't enough, I spotted both my father, and my grandmother wandering the terminal. My father was doing his hardest to bum a cigarette off anyone that passed by knowing he couldn't smoke in the building, with my grandmother who was in tears. Not only did she not know how to get out of the airport, but was deeply concerned with the increasing parking ticket fee. This left me to wonder why, and how she made it into Logan in the first place, when her truck is in no shape for highway driving. After I offered to cover the parking fee, all three of us headed for the parking garage, leaving me feeling helpless, and alone as I heard the jet take off in the distance. Afterwards, I woke up this morning, in a cold sweat, feeling dazed.
I'm not sure what any of this means, but it has me slightly nervous.
If anyone has any comments, or suggestions as to what any of this means, the floor is yours, and I'm willing to listen.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Last night, I had a dream where I was in Logan Airport, in Boston MA (BOS). I knew I was heading for a convention, but really didn't know the name of it. It was about shortly after midnight, and I was trying to get from the ticket counter, to the gate. Once I was in the right terminal, I proceeded towards the designated gate where I could see the plane in view. They were already boarding, and I noticed most of the other boarding passengers had on ears, tails, and various furry themed attire, so I knew I was getting on the right flight.
This is where the problems began. As I headed for the gate, There were numerous amounts of people in tuxedos, and business suits approaching me, and proceeded to engage in a round of endless introductions, handshakes, and a few "Hey, remember this person?" I have never met any of these folks, and I could hear the final boarding call announced over the airport's PA system. I knew I had to get out of there fast. I tried my best to remain calm, and diplomatic about things, saying that I'd either call, or send an email to some of these people. As I got closer to the gate, my heart dropped when I saw the last passenger enter the gate, before the door closed behind them. As I tried to call out to the gate attendant to hold the flight, I found myself surrounded by more business suits engaging in more handshakes and how-you-doings. Then, I saw the plane backing out of the gate, and knew it was too late. At the same time, all the business suits turned around, and walked away, leaving me feeling defeated, and depressed.
And if that wasn't enough, I spotted both my father, and my grandmother wandering the terminal. My father was doing his hardest to bum a cigarette off anyone that passed by knowing he couldn't smoke in the building, with my grandmother who was in tears. Not only did she not know how to get out of the airport, but was deeply concerned with the increasing parking ticket fee. This left me to wonder why, and how she made it into Logan in the first place, when her truck is in no shape for highway driving. After I offered to cover the parking fee, all three of us headed for the parking garage, leaving me feeling helpless, and alone as I heard the jet take off in the distance. Afterwards, I woke up this morning, in a cold sweat, feeling dazed.
I'm not sure what any of this means, but it has me slightly nervous.
If anyone has any comments, or suggestions as to what any of this means, the floor is yours, and I'm willing to listen.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Old Man's Curse
Posted 4 years agoI just don't know what to say anymore. Things aren't getting better from what I've been seeing with my own eyes. And I've learned that most likely, I won't be able to get a vaccination shot until at least June.
Then, there's my old man. There will never be a day of happiness in my grandmother's house, until either he gets psychiatric care, or until he kicks the bucket. Unfortunately, I see option 2 coming before anything.
So, now the question remains. How do you get help for someone who refuses it? To make matters worse, my grandmother finally admitted to me that she is not mentally strong enough to see him "locked away". So after hearing his begging and pleading for money, and rides to the liquor store, she eventually gives in, and bends to his needs. He's already been spoken to a few times more by law enforcement about panhandling around for money.
I, myself, told him point blank to his face that I no longer want anything to do with him, until he gets the medical attention he needs. That was a while ago, and so far, he has not done anything to get that help.
I don't know what to do anymore. It's got to the point I have to hide my grandmother's keys to discourage her need to answer his crying. I can't do this anymore, not alone anyway. I've become more violent and frustrated towards him. And I fear that one of these days, I'm going to do something that's going to A.) Put him in the hospital, and B.) Me behind bars. I really don't want to reach that point. But at the same time, I don't want to see my grandmother dealing with his toxic habits.
I'm sorry to all who have seen me post this before. If anyone knows of anything that'll help, please let me know.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Then, there's my old man. There will never be a day of happiness in my grandmother's house, until either he gets psychiatric care, or until he kicks the bucket. Unfortunately, I see option 2 coming before anything.
So, now the question remains. How do you get help for someone who refuses it? To make matters worse, my grandmother finally admitted to me that she is not mentally strong enough to see him "locked away". So after hearing his begging and pleading for money, and rides to the liquor store, she eventually gives in, and bends to his needs. He's already been spoken to a few times more by law enforcement about panhandling around for money.
I, myself, told him point blank to his face that I no longer want anything to do with him, until he gets the medical attention he needs. That was a while ago, and so far, he has not done anything to get that help.
I don't know what to do anymore. It's got to the point I have to hide my grandmother's keys to discourage her need to answer his crying. I can't do this anymore, not alone anyway. I've become more violent and frustrated towards him. And I fear that one of these days, I'm going to do something that's going to A.) Put him in the hospital, and B.) Me behind bars. I really don't want to reach that point. But at the same time, I don't want to see my grandmother dealing with his toxic habits.
I'm sorry to all who have seen me post this before. If anyone knows of anything that'll help, please let me know.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
A False Hope, A Yanked Chain
Posted 5 years agoIt is now February 10, 2021, as of this journal post.
The news of vaccinations making their rounds around the nation offer a comforting light of hope, only to be extinguished by the following news of rising cases of the pandemic. Though it is true that some states, including my home state of Massachusetts have started rolling back restrictions, I see very little hope of anything opening back up before late summer, into early fall. By then, it is anyone's guess as to whether or not life as we knew it back in 2019, will be a thing once more. It doesn't help that the smaller towns, and communities are more often overlooked to receive a shipment of the vaccine.
There has also been talks in the news, and on social media, that there is now a requirement to wear not just one, but TWO face masks in some public areas, as well as on public transportation. If you plan to travel by train, bus, or plane, you must wear two masks. If you enter any sort of government, or federally operated facility, you must wear two masks. And I am already hearing a lot of stores in most areas around me are starting to adapt to this new requirement. Normally, when I go into a store, be it Target, Walmart, or even something as simple as a convenience store, I wear a mask that fully covers my nose, and mouth. Typically, I'm fine for a good half hour. But after I heard about the new requirement, I did a small test, where I put on two masks in my own home, walked around, and cleaned a few things to simulate activity in a public setting. What I found, was that after 5 minutes, my vision started to become slightly blurred, and I began to experience a feeling of lightheadedness. Breathing became a bit more difficult, as I found myself having to pull the mask down from my nose for a moment, which is something most often frowned upon as it defeats the purpose of the mask. The result? It appears that for my own health, and for the sake of everyone else, I will once again keep myself locked up for another extended amount of time in my house, only ordering the things I need online, and having them delivered. In all honesty, and this is my own opinion, it appears that 2021 is nothing more than a rebadged version of 2020. I'm sorry if that isn't something everyone agrees with. But it is what it is.
Finally, there's the family issues I have with my father.
You know what? I'm not even going to bother with that one. A lot of you already know the situation, so I'm not even going to continue with the subject. Moving on.
Other than the usual doom, and gloom of things, I'm looking forward to achieving a few small goals that are quickly approaching. One, getting my taxes completed. I do have them done professionally. And talking with a few people, I have found that having both state, and federal taxes taken out of my unemployment benefits will help me out quite a bit. The second goal is, of course, getting the vaccination shot.
Other than that, not much else to say I guess. I hope that all my friends and followers here on FA, as well as on other platforms are doing well, and I miss hearing from a lot of you. Don't be afraid to leave me a comment, or a shout. Yes, I am going through some hard times, but a lot of the issues I face, are the same ones we all are facing. I look forward to hearing from you all.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
The news of vaccinations making their rounds around the nation offer a comforting light of hope, only to be extinguished by the following news of rising cases of the pandemic. Though it is true that some states, including my home state of Massachusetts have started rolling back restrictions, I see very little hope of anything opening back up before late summer, into early fall. By then, it is anyone's guess as to whether or not life as we knew it back in 2019, will be a thing once more. It doesn't help that the smaller towns, and communities are more often overlooked to receive a shipment of the vaccine.
There has also been talks in the news, and on social media, that there is now a requirement to wear not just one, but TWO face masks in some public areas, as well as on public transportation. If you plan to travel by train, bus, or plane, you must wear two masks. If you enter any sort of government, or federally operated facility, you must wear two masks. And I am already hearing a lot of stores in most areas around me are starting to adapt to this new requirement. Normally, when I go into a store, be it Target, Walmart, or even something as simple as a convenience store, I wear a mask that fully covers my nose, and mouth. Typically, I'm fine for a good half hour. But after I heard about the new requirement, I did a small test, where I put on two masks in my own home, walked around, and cleaned a few things to simulate activity in a public setting. What I found, was that after 5 minutes, my vision started to become slightly blurred, and I began to experience a feeling of lightheadedness. Breathing became a bit more difficult, as I found myself having to pull the mask down from my nose for a moment, which is something most often frowned upon as it defeats the purpose of the mask. The result? It appears that for my own health, and for the sake of everyone else, I will once again keep myself locked up for another extended amount of time in my house, only ordering the things I need online, and having them delivered. In all honesty, and this is my own opinion, it appears that 2021 is nothing more than a rebadged version of 2020. I'm sorry if that isn't something everyone agrees with. But it is what it is.
Finally, there's the family issues I have with my father.
You know what? I'm not even going to bother with that one. A lot of you already know the situation, so I'm not even going to continue with the subject. Moving on.
Other than the usual doom, and gloom of things, I'm looking forward to achieving a few small goals that are quickly approaching. One, getting my taxes completed. I do have them done professionally. And talking with a few people, I have found that having both state, and federal taxes taken out of my unemployment benefits will help me out quite a bit. The second goal is, of course, getting the vaccination shot.
Other than that, not much else to say I guess. I hope that all my friends and followers here on FA, as well as on other platforms are doing well, and I miss hearing from a lot of you. Don't be afraid to leave me a comment, or a shout. Yes, I am going through some hard times, but a lot of the issues I face, are the same ones we all are facing. I look forward to hearing from you all.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
I Give Up
Posted 5 years agoFirst, I'm just going to say it. This country's done for. Simple as that.
Second, the state pretty much gave up on my dad. A few days ago, he was called into court on a warrant out for his arrest on some past charges. Upon entering the courtroom, he was deemed "Mentally Unsuited" for any prison sentence. On top of that, they recalled his breathalyzer machine that he was ordered to breath into 3 times a day. He is now on probation, and his ability to regain his license has been revoked for another year. What does this mean for me, and my grandmother? Hell. Simple as that. Because he has no license, he shows up on our doorstep, considering he lives a 10 minute walk away (how convenient /sarcasm) and practically begs my grandmother to take him to the liquor store like some spoiled child. I, of course, have to grab the keys, and hide them out of sight. His depression, and alcoholic addictions are once again becoming worse, and no one is willing to help. All me and my grandmother can do, is helplessly watch, as he wanders the neighborhood in search of any handouts. He is, in a word, a bum.
And here's where things get worse (as if they aren't already) He is a retired veteran on disability, and therefore, collects every month. The monthly deposits are loaded onto a debit card, of which he is not in possession of, rather it is in the hands of the person he is living with, who at one point was his fiancé. She has a severe bipolar disorder, and just seeing my father is basically a negative trigger for her attitude swing. She sees him smoke, and drink constantly. She then screams, and yells at him, which pushes my father to consume more of his alcohol and tobacco products. It is a vicious cycle of depression, and anger, and sadly, my father has no other place to go.
With the state basically letting my father do as his depressive will allows, and the country falling into a state of turmoil, I just don't know what to do anymore. I am still going to hold to my plan of moving to Texas sometime in the late Spring, but that is all I have planned at the moment.
I don't know what else to say at this point, so I'll end here.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Second, the state pretty much gave up on my dad. A few days ago, he was called into court on a warrant out for his arrest on some past charges. Upon entering the courtroom, he was deemed "Mentally Unsuited" for any prison sentence. On top of that, they recalled his breathalyzer machine that he was ordered to breath into 3 times a day. He is now on probation, and his ability to regain his license has been revoked for another year. What does this mean for me, and my grandmother? Hell. Simple as that. Because he has no license, he shows up on our doorstep, considering he lives a 10 minute walk away (how convenient /sarcasm) and practically begs my grandmother to take him to the liquor store like some spoiled child. I, of course, have to grab the keys, and hide them out of sight. His depression, and alcoholic addictions are once again becoming worse, and no one is willing to help. All me and my grandmother can do, is helplessly watch, as he wanders the neighborhood in search of any handouts. He is, in a word, a bum.
And here's where things get worse (as if they aren't already) He is a retired veteran on disability, and therefore, collects every month. The monthly deposits are loaded onto a debit card, of which he is not in possession of, rather it is in the hands of the person he is living with, who at one point was his fiancé. She has a severe bipolar disorder, and just seeing my father is basically a negative trigger for her attitude swing. She sees him smoke, and drink constantly. She then screams, and yells at him, which pushes my father to consume more of his alcohol and tobacco products. It is a vicious cycle of depression, and anger, and sadly, my father has no other place to go.
With the state basically letting my father do as his depressive will allows, and the country falling into a state of turmoil, I just don't know what to do anymore. I am still going to hold to my plan of moving to Texas sometime in the late Spring, but that is all I have planned at the moment.
I don't know what else to say at this point, so I'll end here.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Christmas of '99
Posted 5 years agoThe year was 1999. During the holiday season, I was living with my mom, my younger brother, and my youngest sister in an apartment we had just shortly moved into. Back then, the only necessities we had, were basic cable, and AOL dial up Internet. We did not have Twitter, Instagram, or any other social media at the time, and YouTube was just in its infancy (240p video on 56k dialup, good times). Instead, we had face to face interaction, with large numbers of family members coming over. Pictures back then were taken mostly on Kodak One Time Use cameras, though I knew a few people in my family who had the money to afford more modern digital cameras as they were becoming popular in the market.
In the middle of December, Christmas vacation just started for me, as I had then started high school earlier in the fall season. I still remember hanging the lit garland around the living room, and figuring out how to make it light up at the same time with the tree via a foot operated switch. The entertainment center had a small, winter village scene on top that would light up as well, with small stockings that hung below the TV. The kitchen's regular stash of potholders, and hand towels were replaced with those of snowy holiday scenes, and the small clock radio that sat on the counter had a station playing Christmas music.
Saturday, December 25th, 1999
It was still early in the morning, when my brother and I woke up, the sun hadn't risen, though the sky was lit up enough. Our sister was still asleep at the time. We snuck quietly down stairs to the living room, where we saw our mother still sleeping on the couch. Being in a small 2-bedroom apartment, where me and my brother shared one room, and my sister had her own room, we had to be quiet as we made our way to the stockings. Looking under the tree, my brother and I noticed a large gift that was for both of us. I can recall the moment after my brother picked up his stocking, the bottom of it ripped open, dumping a large amount of candy, and gift cards onto the floor, waking my mother up. I, of course, started laughing. After a round of coffee, and hot cocoa, my sister woke up finally, and we all received gifts of CDs, headphones, and an overabundance of dress pants, and shirts (Remember that disappointing feeling, where most, if not all, the gifts were just cloths?). Me, and my brother finally reached the large gift all the way in the back. Upon opening it, we were both filled with joy when we unwrapped a brand new Nintendo 64. Our mother then reached under the couch, and pulled out a few smaller gifts, which turned out to be various games, such as GoldenEye 007, Mario Party, Super Smash Bros, Starfox (Do a barrel roll!), and Super Mario 64.
As the day went on, we did the typical house hopping, where it was more eating, and gift opening, as well as spending time with the family. And towards the end, we headed back home, and settled down for the night, where me and my brother talked about the futuristic possibilities of the year 2000, and beyond.
The holidays back then were more fun, simple, and more meaningful. It held a true feeling of excitement, and joy being around those we loved, and the good times we shared.
Saturday, December 19th, 2020
As I sit here now in my grandmother's house, I can't help but picture that large white tree she had up 21 years ago, where due to many stressful reasons, there is no tree there now. There is no Christmas music playing, nor is there any holiday specials playing on TV. The decorations are still packed in the basement, and neither of us have the ambition to go down, and grab them. This year, Christmas to me, and my grandmother is just another day. And due to my father's addictive smoking habits, and depression, it will be much worse. I will do my best to keep my spirits high, and look forward to a better holiday season next year.
So, from me, to all my friends, and followers here on FA, or where ever you may be, please have a safe, and wonderful holiday season.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
In the middle of December, Christmas vacation just started for me, as I had then started high school earlier in the fall season. I still remember hanging the lit garland around the living room, and figuring out how to make it light up at the same time with the tree via a foot operated switch. The entertainment center had a small, winter village scene on top that would light up as well, with small stockings that hung below the TV. The kitchen's regular stash of potholders, and hand towels were replaced with those of snowy holiday scenes, and the small clock radio that sat on the counter had a station playing Christmas music.
Saturday, December 25th, 1999
It was still early in the morning, when my brother and I woke up, the sun hadn't risen, though the sky was lit up enough. Our sister was still asleep at the time. We snuck quietly down stairs to the living room, where we saw our mother still sleeping on the couch. Being in a small 2-bedroom apartment, where me and my brother shared one room, and my sister had her own room, we had to be quiet as we made our way to the stockings. Looking under the tree, my brother and I noticed a large gift that was for both of us. I can recall the moment after my brother picked up his stocking, the bottom of it ripped open, dumping a large amount of candy, and gift cards onto the floor, waking my mother up. I, of course, started laughing. After a round of coffee, and hot cocoa, my sister woke up finally, and we all received gifts of CDs, headphones, and an overabundance of dress pants, and shirts (Remember that disappointing feeling, where most, if not all, the gifts were just cloths?). Me, and my brother finally reached the large gift all the way in the back. Upon opening it, we were both filled with joy when we unwrapped a brand new Nintendo 64. Our mother then reached under the couch, and pulled out a few smaller gifts, which turned out to be various games, such as GoldenEye 007, Mario Party, Super Smash Bros, Starfox (Do a barrel roll!), and Super Mario 64.
As the day went on, we did the typical house hopping, where it was more eating, and gift opening, as well as spending time with the family. And towards the end, we headed back home, and settled down for the night, where me and my brother talked about the futuristic possibilities of the year 2000, and beyond.
The holidays back then were more fun, simple, and more meaningful. It held a true feeling of excitement, and joy being around those we loved, and the good times we shared.
Saturday, December 19th, 2020
As I sit here now in my grandmother's house, I can't help but picture that large white tree she had up 21 years ago, where due to many stressful reasons, there is no tree there now. There is no Christmas music playing, nor is there any holiday specials playing on TV. The decorations are still packed in the basement, and neither of us have the ambition to go down, and grab them. This year, Christmas to me, and my grandmother is just another day. And due to my father's addictive smoking habits, and depression, it will be much worse. I will do my best to keep my spirits high, and look forward to a better holiday season next year.
So, from me, to all my friends, and followers here on FA, or where ever you may be, please have a safe, and wonderful holiday season.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
December Depression
Posted 5 years agoAlready a few days into the month, and my attitude with everything hasn't really improved much.
The following rant, if you want to call it that, is very dark, and is not meant for everyone. If this is something you feel you may not handle very well, then it is advisable that you don't continue further. I won't feel bad if you choose not to continue, as it is understandable.
My father, to put it simply, is still a bum. Putting his toxic needs before anyone else's, even his own mother's, he continues to spend what ever money lands in his pockets on alcohol, tobacco, and lottery tickets. And when he has what he wants, he tosses her to the side, without giving much in return. This, in turn, has upset my grandmother to the point she is refusing to put a tree up this year, and I can't say I blame her. Between my father's mental digression and fading health, and her closest family members either moved, or passed away, she has nothing left to appreciate for the holidays. Having no money to give for gifts, or charities further adds to the stress. I have tried all I could to comfort her, and be by her side no matter what. But the fact that she has a hard time letting past events go is making that much more difficult.
Holidays for my father's side of the family has always been hard. It doesn't help that depression, and anxiety are two major factors that also come into play. Over the years, I have come to learn why my father's side of the family has as many problems as it does. My father's father also had a severe addiction to tobacco, and alcohol. Through the years of drug abuse, he had developed mental, and physical complications, with my grandmother having to answer his every addictive need. She never received much, if anything, in return, other than more grief in her life. My grandfather, whom I've never met in my life, had developed a severe stage of cancer later on in his, that had taken over his entire body. He was not one for hospital treatment, and instead, would look to his addictions as a means of an alternative cure. Then, on the night of December 24th, 1984, just shortly after I was born, my grandfather stood up, and told the family he was heading out to the barn to check on something. That was the last anyone had ever seen him alive, before the sound of an Winchester 22 rang out from the mentioned barn. It was my father who was the first one to find him shortly after. Because the history my grandfather had with certain people in my town at the time, the local authorities ruled it as a gun cleaning accident to stifle any rumors that would spring about.
It is this memory that plagues both my father, and especially my grandmother, who lost her second love many years after around the same time. And as the years went on, the depression worsened. This year is no different, as it is in fact worse, with all the travel bans in effect, making it impossible to see the loved ones that still remain my grandmother always enjoyed seeing in the past. I've been, and still continue to do all I can to insure that she is happy, though there's only so much that I can do for her.
I am truly sorry if this has upset anyone. This is the dark history that my family has carried with them for many generations, though not many know of its existence in today's times. Perhaps that is for the better.
The lesson here is this: Love those, who love you. For one day, both of you may look to each other for support, and have it when it is needed the most.
That's about it for now. I wish everyone a safe holiday season.
Take care all.
The following rant, if you want to call it that, is very dark, and is not meant for everyone. If this is something you feel you may not handle very well, then it is advisable that you don't continue further. I won't feel bad if you choose not to continue, as it is understandable.
My father, to put it simply, is still a bum. Putting his toxic needs before anyone else's, even his own mother's, he continues to spend what ever money lands in his pockets on alcohol, tobacco, and lottery tickets. And when he has what he wants, he tosses her to the side, without giving much in return. This, in turn, has upset my grandmother to the point she is refusing to put a tree up this year, and I can't say I blame her. Between my father's mental digression and fading health, and her closest family members either moved, or passed away, she has nothing left to appreciate for the holidays. Having no money to give for gifts, or charities further adds to the stress. I have tried all I could to comfort her, and be by her side no matter what. But the fact that she has a hard time letting past events go is making that much more difficult.
Holidays for my father's side of the family has always been hard. It doesn't help that depression, and anxiety are two major factors that also come into play. Over the years, I have come to learn why my father's side of the family has as many problems as it does. My father's father also had a severe addiction to tobacco, and alcohol. Through the years of drug abuse, he had developed mental, and physical complications, with my grandmother having to answer his every addictive need. She never received much, if anything, in return, other than more grief in her life. My grandfather, whom I've never met in my life, had developed a severe stage of cancer later on in his, that had taken over his entire body. He was not one for hospital treatment, and instead, would look to his addictions as a means of an alternative cure. Then, on the night of December 24th, 1984, just shortly after I was born, my grandfather stood up, and told the family he was heading out to the barn to check on something. That was the last anyone had ever seen him alive, before the sound of an Winchester 22 rang out from the mentioned barn. It was my father who was the first one to find him shortly after. Because the history my grandfather had with certain people in my town at the time, the local authorities ruled it as a gun cleaning accident to stifle any rumors that would spring about.
It is this memory that plagues both my father, and especially my grandmother, who lost her second love many years after around the same time. And as the years went on, the depression worsened. This year is no different, as it is in fact worse, with all the travel bans in effect, making it impossible to see the loved ones that still remain my grandmother always enjoyed seeing in the past. I've been, and still continue to do all I can to insure that she is happy, though there's only so much that I can do for her.
I am truly sorry if this has upset anyone. This is the dark history that my family has carried with them for many generations, though not many know of its existence in today's times. Perhaps that is for the better.
The lesson here is this: Love those, who love you. For one day, both of you may look to each other for support, and have it when it is needed the most.
That's about it for now. I wish everyone a safe holiday season.
Take care all.
November's Arrival
Posted 5 years agoWelcome to the month of November.
Alas, October has ended, and I still have the memories of last year's, and years before, events that took place at Furpocalypes playing in the back of my mind. The month of ghouls, ghosts, and werewolves has ended, though being the state we're all in, such things could rarely, if possible, could be enjoyed.
Those items are now being replaced at great speed by Christmas trees, wreaths, and bright lights flooding store shelves. Advertisements of major Post Thanksgiving Friday Sales at major retailers are already making themselves known, despite an out of control pandemic that has gripped the country, and will only get worse as winter draws closer. All I can do, is sit back, and shake my head. The pressures of a worsening pandemic, accompanied by the fast approaching holiday season continues to drag me further deeper down the long dark roads of anxiety and depression. I do all I can to tune out the outside world, knowing eventually, it'll suck me in, and not let go.
Though, for this month, I do have Thanksgiving itself to look forward to. As stated before, it'll just be me, my grandmother, and a close friend of mine. The days of being dragged off to large, awkward family Thanksgiving dinners, only to find out I'm stuck there until New Year's Day are behind me. Yes, this has happened to me long ago in the past.
All I can say is, just look forward to the things that bring joy to your life, and well being. A new year is closing in, and like myself, I'm sure we're all looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, when we can return to brighter, happier days when we can all see each other again.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Alas, October has ended, and I still have the memories of last year's, and years before, events that took place at Furpocalypes playing in the back of my mind. The month of ghouls, ghosts, and werewolves has ended, though being the state we're all in, such things could rarely, if possible, could be enjoyed.
Those items are now being replaced at great speed by Christmas trees, wreaths, and bright lights flooding store shelves. Advertisements of major Post Thanksgiving Friday Sales at major retailers are already making themselves known, despite an out of control pandemic that has gripped the country, and will only get worse as winter draws closer. All I can do, is sit back, and shake my head. The pressures of a worsening pandemic, accompanied by the fast approaching holiday season continues to drag me further deeper down the long dark roads of anxiety and depression. I do all I can to tune out the outside world, knowing eventually, it'll suck me in, and not let go.
Though, for this month, I do have Thanksgiving itself to look forward to. As stated before, it'll just be me, my grandmother, and a close friend of mine. The days of being dragged off to large, awkward family Thanksgiving dinners, only to find out I'm stuck there until New Year's Day are behind me. Yes, this has happened to me long ago in the past.
All I can say is, just look forward to the things that bring joy to your life, and well being. A new year is closing in, and like myself, I'm sure we're all looking for the light at the end of the tunnel, when we can return to brighter, happier days when we can all see each other again.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Sad Season of Change
Posted 5 years agoHey everyone.
Sorry I haven't been posting much as of late. Life has a funny way of cutting into the things we love to spend time with, so I couldn't really do much with FA.
Anywho, it appears that we have reached the official (according to calendars, and news reports) last day of Summer. Normally, every year during this time. I would be sitting back, reflecting on the fun that I had at Anthrocon, while at the same time, getting excited and making plans for Furpocalypse. Sadly, 2020 has been anything, but normal. This year has left me in a deep state of depression and anger, seeing the conventions, and furmeets that I normally like to go to cancelled in the name of safety. I do understand the reasoning behind such actions, and really can't blame them for doing so. It just pains me very much to say that there has been nothing done to enjoy the summer season.
And as we head into the Fall season, I can only look forward, and shake my head in disgust at what I see before me. October no longer carries the energy of excitement, as not only has Furpocalypse been cancelled, but many communities are discouraging, and some outright banning, trick or treating on Halloween night. Parties can only have a small limited number of guests, while keeping a bit of distance apart from one another. To me, this just kills the mood, and makes such gatherings that more awkward to be involved with. Thanksgiving most likely won't be affected, as it is mainly centered around family. This year, it'll just be me, my grandmother, and a close friend of mine whom I've known for quite some time, so I'm not overly worried about it.
From there, it is anyone's guess as to how winter will turn out, though as everyone knows, I am not a large fan of the holidays. But that is a topic for a later journal post.
For now, all we can do is sit back, and watch as the leaves change their colors, and enjoy the cooler air that moves in. The days are much shorter, and nights are longer. The advertisements of pumpkin flavored coffees and drinks have already begun their rounds over TV, radio, and streaming services, and I myself will soon be sitting down to a slice of pumpkin pie, and a glass of apple cider.
Until next time, I wish everyone a happy and safe Fall season.
That's about it.
Take care all.
Sorry I haven't been posting much as of late. Life has a funny way of cutting into the things we love to spend time with, so I couldn't really do much with FA.
Anywho, it appears that we have reached the official (according to calendars, and news reports) last day of Summer. Normally, every year during this time. I would be sitting back, reflecting on the fun that I had at Anthrocon, while at the same time, getting excited and making plans for Furpocalypse. Sadly, 2020 has been anything, but normal. This year has left me in a deep state of depression and anger, seeing the conventions, and furmeets that I normally like to go to cancelled in the name of safety. I do understand the reasoning behind such actions, and really can't blame them for doing so. It just pains me very much to say that there has been nothing done to enjoy the summer season.
And as we head into the Fall season, I can only look forward, and shake my head in disgust at what I see before me. October no longer carries the energy of excitement, as not only has Furpocalypse been cancelled, but many communities are discouraging, and some outright banning, trick or treating on Halloween night. Parties can only have a small limited number of guests, while keeping a bit of distance apart from one another. To me, this just kills the mood, and makes such gatherings that more awkward to be involved with. Thanksgiving most likely won't be affected, as it is mainly centered around family. This year, it'll just be me, my grandmother, and a close friend of mine whom I've known for quite some time, so I'm not overly worried about it.
From there, it is anyone's guess as to how winter will turn out, though as everyone knows, I am not a large fan of the holidays. But that is a topic for a later journal post.
For now, all we can do is sit back, and watch as the leaves change their colors, and enjoy the cooler air that moves in. The days are much shorter, and nights are longer. The advertisements of pumpkin flavored coffees and drinks have already begun their rounds over TV, radio, and streaming services, and I myself will soon be sitting down to a slice of pumpkin pie, and a glass of apple cider.
Until next time, I wish everyone a happy and safe Fall season.
That's about it.
Take care all.
Flashback to Better Days
Posted 5 years agoWell, with nearly every major city around the country on fire, a pandemic that's out of control, unusual weather patterns in some places, and scientists digging up ancient cursed artifacts (yes, that is a thing), it seems that a lot of us are looking for an escape. The only good thing I've seen so far is the successful mission of the SpaceX Falcon launch, and docking of the International Space Station. But as always, that seems to be nothing more than a small blip on mass media's radar at the moment.
For me, I sit back, close my eyes, and flashback to the days of the late 90's/early 2000's. Those were the days of dial-up internet, portable CD players, and cable only had 100 channels at best. I was a teen back then, one of the only few who stayed off the streets, and not tempted by what everyone was smoking back then, even though it was illegal to do so. Instead, I would listen to music by Incubus, Staind, Creed, and Foo Fighters just to name a few, while I stayed up late on school nights to record anime off Adult Swim onto a VHS tape. Yeah, 9/11 was a big thing that happened in those days, but from what I remember, it brought the nation closer together, and we quickly recovered. Those were the days back when the only thing I had to worry about was getting up on time to catch the bus to school, and not missing a new episode of Digimon on Saturday mornings (did that a few times).
People look at me now, and say that I'm living too much in the past, and that I need to get with the times. Well, from what I've been seeing so far, I think I'll stay in the past for the time being.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
For me, I sit back, close my eyes, and flashback to the days of the late 90's/early 2000's. Those were the days of dial-up internet, portable CD players, and cable only had 100 channels at best. I was a teen back then, one of the only few who stayed off the streets, and not tempted by what everyone was smoking back then, even though it was illegal to do so. Instead, I would listen to music by Incubus, Staind, Creed, and Foo Fighters just to name a few, while I stayed up late on school nights to record anime off Adult Swim onto a VHS tape. Yeah, 9/11 was a big thing that happened in those days, but from what I remember, it brought the nation closer together, and we quickly recovered. Those were the days back when the only thing I had to worry about was getting up on time to catch the bus to school, and not missing a new episode of Digimon on Saturday mornings (did that a few times).
People look at me now, and say that I'm living too much in the past, and that I need to get with the times. Well, from what I've been seeing so far, I think I'll stay in the past for the time being.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Boiling Point
Posted 5 years agoI have not felt this way, since the late 2000's.
Every nerve in my body is beyond shot, my patience has worn thin, and my sanity is on the brink of collapse.
And here's the rundown why.
1.) Lockdown Extended
I know it's for the best of everyone, keeping health, and safety in mind. I have nothing against that. But for people like me, who enjoy going out to places, be it the mall, or a bowling alley, and meeting new people, this is very hard on me. I've rarely left my property now for nearly three weeks straight. And I'll get to why in a moment. I feel like there's a ball and chain keeping me attached to my house, and that's a feeling I am not very happy with at all.
2.) What Hours?
Since April 8, I have not been able to work. At that time, my grandmother was not feeling well, and I made a mention of it to my supervisor. He suggested I take 2 weeks off to insure that it wasn't something going around in the store. It is now the 29th, going into my 3rd full week of no employment hours posted for me. I'm going to have to call the store up tomorrow, and figure out what is going on. The only catch is, I won't be able to wear a mask if they require me to. Reason being is I actually tried to wear one of those, and not only did it restrict my breathing, but for the first time in my life, I felt very claustrophobic. I can't have anything covering my mouth (and yes, odd of me to say that, considering I wear a fursuit).
3.) Scratch That
As some of you already know, my father, a 58 year old coast guard veteran, has in the past few years, lived a hard life. This has led him to heavy smoking, and drinking. Though the drinking aspect has now been capped through an At-Home rehab program, his heavy smoking has worsened. And to top it off, there's rarely a moment you'll see him without a scratch ticket in his hand. What infuriates me about all this, is on a daily basis, he calls up my grandmother, just for a ride to the store up the street to buy more scratch tickets. And if he doesn't get his tickets, he starts complaining about being bored, and not knowing what to do with himself. Half the time, my grandmother doesn't even have the money to give to him for this addiction, so he decides to walk up and down his street, bumming what ever handouts he can get his hands on. This is very embarrassing for both me and my grandmother, as we hear about it from the neighbors when he is not around.
4.) CovidCon
Does this even need an explanation? It saddens me to see that a good majority of the conventions around the US, and most of the world, have been delayed, or cancelled all together. And as of yesterday, Anthrocon had to pull the plug. I had no plans to attend this year myself, but my thoughts and hopes go out to those who had already spent money on the weekend to prepare, only now struggling to get refunds, and to replan everything for next year. My only hope is that by August, things will have settled down enough that we can get the rest of the year's cons back on track. Only time will tell.
In any case, I apologize to everyone. I just needed to vent this out.
All we can really do at this point, is wait and see how, and where things go. I have a rather bad feeling things will be a bit different once this is all said and done.
But that's about it for now.
Take care all.
Every nerve in my body is beyond shot, my patience has worn thin, and my sanity is on the brink of collapse.
And here's the rundown why.
1.) Lockdown Extended
I know it's for the best of everyone, keeping health, and safety in mind. I have nothing against that. But for people like me, who enjoy going out to places, be it the mall, or a bowling alley, and meeting new people, this is very hard on me. I've rarely left my property now for nearly three weeks straight. And I'll get to why in a moment. I feel like there's a ball and chain keeping me attached to my house, and that's a feeling I am not very happy with at all.
2.) What Hours?
Since April 8, I have not been able to work. At that time, my grandmother was not feeling well, and I made a mention of it to my supervisor. He suggested I take 2 weeks off to insure that it wasn't something going around in the store. It is now the 29th, going into my 3rd full week of no employment hours posted for me. I'm going to have to call the store up tomorrow, and figure out what is going on. The only catch is, I won't be able to wear a mask if they require me to. Reason being is I actually tried to wear one of those, and not only did it restrict my breathing, but for the first time in my life, I felt very claustrophobic. I can't have anything covering my mouth (and yes, odd of me to say that, considering I wear a fursuit).
3.) Scratch That
As some of you already know, my father, a 58 year old coast guard veteran, has in the past few years, lived a hard life. This has led him to heavy smoking, and drinking. Though the drinking aspect has now been capped through an At-Home rehab program, his heavy smoking has worsened. And to top it off, there's rarely a moment you'll see him without a scratch ticket in his hand. What infuriates me about all this, is on a daily basis, he calls up my grandmother, just for a ride to the store up the street to buy more scratch tickets. And if he doesn't get his tickets, he starts complaining about being bored, and not knowing what to do with himself. Half the time, my grandmother doesn't even have the money to give to him for this addiction, so he decides to walk up and down his street, bumming what ever handouts he can get his hands on. This is very embarrassing for both me and my grandmother, as we hear about it from the neighbors when he is not around.
4.) CovidCon
Does this even need an explanation? It saddens me to see that a good majority of the conventions around the US, and most of the world, have been delayed, or cancelled all together. And as of yesterday, Anthrocon had to pull the plug. I had no plans to attend this year myself, but my thoughts and hopes go out to those who had already spent money on the weekend to prepare, only now struggling to get refunds, and to replan everything for next year. My only hope is that by August, things will have settled down enough that we can get the rest of the year's cons back on track. Only time will tell.
In any case, I apologize to everyone. I just needed to vent this out.
All we can really do at this point, is wait and see how, and where things go. I have a rather bad feeling things will be a bit different once this is all said and done.
But that's about it for now.
Take care all.
My Absence, and Future Plans
Posted 5 years agoTable of Contents:
1. Explanation
2. Conventions
3. Life
4. Looking to the Future
5. Closing
1.) Explanation:
First off, allow me to apologize for my absence off FA. I know I've uploaded a sketch from time to time. But I know I should provide more for my friends, and Watchers.
Reason for my being absent is due to my employment, as well as living situations. Currently, I am employed at a grocery store, as a maintenance associate. Therefore, my hours are unpredictable, and inconsistent. And if that wasn't enough to bear, the store has released an official statement that it will close its doors for the last time come June 27th of this year. I am also living with my grandmother, which does interfere with my social life, as it makes it harder to have people come over and hang out. My grandmother whom I do love dearly, has offered to provide for a furmeet of sorts, seeing as how I have a good size piece of property. But I have a few concerns about safety, as well as her feeling she needs to be the "host with the most", even though she's many generations behind, and wouldn't quite understand what is going on.
2.) Conventions:
I had recently attended Anthro New England 2020, which is held in Boston, MA. It was indeed a great convention, even though having to commute back and forth between Norton, and Boston via Commuter Rail did make the con experience a bit less enjoyable.
My future plans for cons are at this point up in the air, as explained why in the previous section. I am strongly hoping that I will be attending Furpocalypse later this year, as it will be held in a new location, being the Crown Plaza in Stamford, CT.
I do, however, regret to inform everyone that my presence at Anthrocon will be no more. This took a lot of thinking, and contemplation to reach this decision, and it was a hard one. I can only offer my sincerest apologies to those who were looking forward to seeing me in Pittsburgh, and I really do wish I could join you all once more under the roof of the Westin, and DLLCC. However, I feel as though the con itself, as has the city of Pittsburgh, has changed over the many years I've visited, thus diminishing that feeling of excitement, and awe I once felt in my early years of attendance. I know this is not the fault of the chairman, or staff who play a very important part in keeping the con running safely, and efficiently. It is due to the changes in personalities, and the closure of familiar city landmarks that once made Anthrocon a truly great experience. I feel that Anthrocon will continue to prosper into one of the greatest conventions Pittsburgh has seen. As with the rise of the cost of travel, lodging, and the slow progression of health concerns, that is why I can no longer attend the convention. I do wish those who are, and continue to attend Anthrocon, an safe, and enjoyable con experience.
3.) Life:
My current standing as of this moment, is I'm stuck in a job that is sinking faster than the Titanic. I have no mate, though I have been trying unsuccessfully to mingle, and test the waters, though I know this isn't something that is to be rushed. It still hurts me when I think back on the last relationship I've had, though we both peacefully called it off due to circumstances beyond our control. I have no car, so getting around is a bit cumbersome, though there are public transit solutions, as well as the few good friends I have to help get me around. My health is starting to decline slightly, as a hereditary skin and joint condition known as Psoriatic Arthritis is starting to plague my body. I have a few small rashes appearing on my body, and my joints are becoming more painful to move with passing time. The only thing I am taking at the moment is Aleve, to help get me through the day with little problem.
4.) Looking to the Future:
What are my plans for the near, and long term future? Well, for starters, I do plan on moving out of my grandmother's place, hopefully late Spring/Early Summer when my store finally closes. Where I'll move to, is anyone's guess, but I'll have to see where fate takes me. Getting a car would be a nice little bonus, but I sadly don't have the funds to get one, let alone paying for the registration and insurance costs that'll follow. I'm always looking out for the next big adventure, and since I've been stuck living in the state of MA for the past 23 years, I think it's time for one. Long term, I can't say for sure. I just hope that things work out for the better.
5.) Closing
If you've read this far, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read, and understand my situation. I'm doing all I can to better myself, and make those around me more happy, and comfortable to any extent. And being able to have an audience here on FA, or any other social platform that is willing to take time out of their life to understand mine, makes me very proud to be a part of this wonderful community. I thank you all very much for being by my side, and hope to continue to provide a bit of happiness to you all, be it through a simple sketch, or a quick journal post.
That's about it.
Take care all.
1. Explanation
2. Conventions
3. Life
4. Looking to the Future
5. Closing
1.) Explanation:
First off, allow me to apologize for my absence off FA. I know I've uploaded a sketch from time to time. But I know I should provide more for my friends, and Watchers.
Reason for my being absent is due to my employment, as well as living situations. Currently, I am employed at a grocery store, as a maintenance associate. Therefore, my hours are unpredictable, and inconsistent. And if that wasn't enough to bear, the store has released an official statement that it will close its doors for the last time come June 27th of this year. I am also living with my grandmother, which does interfere with my social life, as it makes it harder to have people come over and hang out. My grandmother whom I do love dearly, has offered to provide for a furmeet of sorts, seeing as how I have a good size piece of property. But I have a few concerns about safety, as well as her feeling she needs to be the "host with the most", even though she's many generations behind, and wouldn't quite understand what is going on.
2.) Conventions:
I had recently attended Anthro New England 2020, which is held in Boston, MA. It was indeed a great convention, even though having to commute back and forth between Norton, and Boston via Commuter Rail did make the con experience a bit less enjoyable.
My future plans for cons are at this point up in the air, as explained why in the previous section. I am strongly hoping that I will be attending Furpocalypse later this year, as it will be held in a new location, being the Crown Plaza in Stamford, CT.
I do, however, regret to inform everyone that my presence at Anthrocon will be no more. This took a lot of thinking, and contemplation to reach this decision, and it was a hard one. I can only offer my sincerest apologies to those who were looking forward to seeing me in Pittsburgh, and I really do wish I could join you all once more under the roof of the Westin, and DLLCC. However, I feel as though the con itself, as has the city of Pittsburgh, has changed over the many years I've visited, thus diminishing that feeling of excitement, and awe I once felt in my early years of attendance. I know this is not the fault of the chairman, or staff who play a very important part in keeping the con running safely, and efficiently. It is due to the changes in personalities, and the closure of familiar city landmarks that once made Anthrocon a truly great experience. I feel that Anthrocon will continue to prosper into one of the greatest conventions Pittsburgh has seen. As with the rise of the cost of travel, lodging, and the slow progression of health concerns, that is why I can no longer attend the convention. I do wish those who are, and continue to attend Anthrocon, an safe, and enjoyable con experience.
3.) Life:
My current standing as of this moment, is I'm stuck in a job that is sinking faster than the Titanic. I have no mate, though I have been trying unsuccessfully to mingle, and test the waters, though I know this isn't something that is to be rushed. It still hurts me when I think back on the last relationship I've had, though we both peacefully called it off due to circumstances beyond our control. I have no car, so getting around is a bit cumbersome, though there are public transit solutions, as well as the few good friends I have to help get me around. My health is starting to decline slightly, as a hereditary skin and joint condition known as Psoriatic Arthritis is starting to plague my body. I have a few small rashes appearing on my body, and my joints are becoming more painful to move with passing time. The only thing I am taking at the moment is Aleve, to help get me through the day with little problem.
4.) Looking to the Future:
What are my plans for the near, and long term future? Well, for starters, I do plan on moving out of my grandmother's place, hopefully late Spring/Early Summer when my store finally closes. Where I'll move to, is anyone's guess, but I'll have to see where fate takes me. Getting a car would be a nice little bonus, but I sadly don't have the funds to get one, let alone paying for the registration and insurance costs that'll follow. I'm always looking out for the next big adventure, and since I've been stuck living in the state of MA for the past 23 years, I think it's time for one. Long term, I can't say for sure. I just hope that things work out for the better.
5.) Closing
If you've read this far, I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read, and understand my situation. I'm doing all I can to better myself, and make those around me more happy, and comfortable to any extent. And being able to have an audience here on FA, or any other social platform that is willing to take time out of their life to understand mine, makes me very proud to be a part of this wonderful community. I thank you all very much for being by my side, and hope to continue to provide a bit of happiness to you all, be it through a simple sketch, or a quick journal post.
That's about it.
Take care all.
Flashing Back... Yet Again
Posted 6 years agoYear: 2005
Location: Norton: MA
It's now been 2 years since I graduated from Norton High School. I had been able to land myself a job at a local college as a dishwasher. It is during these times that I sit back, and admire all that I have.
Playing Starfox Adventures on the GameCube, chatting with friends on MSN Messenger, and catching up with the latest episodes of Outlaw Star and Inuyasha on Adult Swim, These are the times that I truly enjoy, and appreciate.
Granted, I still think back to the days when I first started high school in '99, and hanging out with friends in the summertime, blasting music in a friend's garage while working on a go kart.
Times were a lot different. And more fun.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Location: Norton: MA
It's now been 2 years since I graduated from Norton High School. I had been able to land myself a job at a local college as a dishwasher. It is during these times that I sit back, and admire all that I have.
Playing Starfox Adventures on the GameCube, chatting with friends on MSN Messenger, and catching up with the latest episodes of Outlaw Star and Inuyasha on Adult Swim, These are the times that I truly enjoy, and appreciate.
Granted, I still think back to the days when I first started high school in '99, and hanging out with friends in the summertime, blasting music in a friend's garage while working on a go kart.
Times were a lot different. And more fun.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Life's Problems
Posted 7 years agoGreetings all.
Welcome to to my first FA journal post for the year 2019.
I really wish this could be a more joyous posting, but sadly, it is not.
I have been living at my grandmother's now for a good year, and a half, and as of late, I've been noticing some things that have been taking a turn for the worse.
For starters, I just had to call out of work this morning, due to my grandmother's cat, who is constantly meowing, and crying for attention into the midnight hours, when I'm trying to sleep. This behavior has been ongoing, and has been getting worse over time. A quick bit of Google research as lead me to believe that there might be a health related issue involved, and strongly suggested to my grandmother that the cat be taken into a vet as soon as possible. However, my grandmother keeps firing back that she doesn't have the money for a vet visit, and instead, insists that her truck get the attention instead. When in reality, its next drive should be to a scrapyard.
Which leads me to the second problem.
My grandmother's truck, a 1999 Dodge Dakota Sport 3.9L V6 Magnum 2WD, is pretty much running on borrowed time. It leaks coolant, has a bad lower ball joint on the passenger side, and because the frame rails are so badly rotted, the fuel tank has to be held in place with heavy duty chains, which in turn, act as a support for the bed since all the body mounts rotted away. My grandmother won't get rid of the truck though, as she said it holds so much sentimental value to her, as it was the last vehicle her late boyfriend got her, before passing away 10 years ago. I know for a fact that once that truck goes in for inspection, it won't get a passing, or a rejection sticker. Instead, it's going to get a black sticker that permanently prohibits the vehicle from ever being driven on public road ways again. Yes, that is a thing.
So, in short summary, my grandmother loves to spoil her cat, which is technically a drop-off stray from 2 years ago. But she won't look after its health, citing that a rust bucket on wheels is more in financial aid.
I don't know what to do from this point on, as I just sit back, and watch from afar.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Welcome to to my first FA journal post for the year 2019.
I really wish this could be a more joyous posting, but sadly, it is not.
I have been living at my grandmother's now for a good year, and a half, and as of late, I've been noticing some things that have been taking a turn for the worse.
For starters, I just had to call out of work this morning, due to my grandmother's cat, who is constantly meowing, and crying for attention into the midnight hours, when I'm trying to sleep. This behavior has been ongoing, and has been getting worse over time. A quick bit of Google research as lead me to believe that there might be a health related issue involved, and strongly suggested to my grandmother that the cat be taken into a vet as soon as possible. However, my grandmother keeps firing back that she doesn't have the money for a vet visit, and instead, insists that her truck get the attention instead. When in reality, its next drive should be to a scrapyard.
Which leads me to the second problem.
My grandmother's truck, a 1999 Dodge Dakota Sport 3.9L V6 Magnum 2WD, is pretty much running on borrowed time. It leaks coolant, has a bad lower ball joint on the passenger side, and because the frame rails are so badly rotted, the fuel tank has to be held in place with heavy duty chains, which in turn, act as a support for the bed since all the body mounts rotted away. My grandmother won't get rid of the truck though, as she said it holds so much sentimental value to her, as it was the last vehicle her late boyfriend got her, before passing away 10 years ago. I know for a fact that once that truck goes in for inspection, it won't get a passing, or a rejection sticker. Instead, it's going to get a black sticker that permanently prohibits the vehicle from ever being driven on public road ways again. Yes, that is a thing.
So, in short summary, my grandmother loves to spoil her cat, which is technically a drop-off stray from 2 years ago. But she won't look after its health, citing that a rust bucket on wheels is more in financial aid.
I don't know what to do from this point on, as I just sit back, and watch from afar.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Something Not Right
Posted 7 years agoSo last night, I had a dream I went to a furcon. Not sure what the name of it was, but it was small enough I knew a lot of people who were there.
I was wandering around the supersponsor lounge, when I saw an old "friend", and I use that term loosely. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, and talk to him. He seemed cool at first, talking and sharing a few laughs, and even showing off his fursuit. He then made me a few promises for later that evening, saying we'd grab dinner down at BK, and hang out for the rest of the night.
So I wander around the con some more, until said time (which time works very wierd in dreams). I then begin to head up to his room at the time. Though when I got to his room, there was an "Do Not Disturb" tag hanging from the door handle. At which point, my phone vibrates alerting me there's a message. I check the message, and I see this:
MSG (1)
"Sry Dyn. Plans Changed
Lving Erly Tmrw. Bye"
END MSG
My first though was, why was he typing like he was using an old flip phone, then I noticed something else. I heard giggling, and soft talking in the room, from both him, and another person. At that point, I woke up feeling both groggy, and angry. I checked my phone, and the sad part I found was, his number is still in it. Almost threw my phone across the house at that point.
Guess I'm not having a good morning so far. -_-
Why does my memory choose to bring up the past in ways I can't understand?
That's about it.
Take care all.
I was wandering around the supersponsor lounge, when I saw an old "friend", and I use that term loosely. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, and talk to him. He seemed cool at first, talking and sharing a few laughs, and even showing off his fursuit. He then made me a few promises for later that evening, saying we'd grab dinner down at BK, and hang out for the rest of the night.
So I wander around the con some more, until said time (which time works very wierd in dreams). I then begin to head up to his room at the time. Though when I got to his room, there was an "Do Not Disturb" tag hanging from the door handle. At which point, my phone vibrates alerting me there's a message. I check the message, and I see this:
MSG (1)
"Sry Dyn. Plans Changed
Lving Erly Tmrw. Bye"
END MSG
My first though was, why was he typing like he was using an old flip phone, then I noticed something else. I heard giggling, and soft talking in the room, from both him, and another person. At that point, I woke up feeling both groggy, and angry. I checked my phone, and the sad part I found was, his number is still in it. Almost threw my phone across the house at that point.
Guess I'm not having a good morning so far. -_-
Why does my memory choose to bring up the past in ways I can't understand?
That's about it.
Take care all.
Starfox Dream Gone Wrong
Posted 7 years agoNot sure what I did to cause this dream, but can't say I'm too happy about it. It does contain some adult themes, so reader discretion is advised.
Had a dream last night that not only was I in the Starfox universe, but was actually inside the private home of both Fox and krystal on Corneria. Now, at this point, I'm pretty much excited to discover where I was. To think I wasn't on Earth for that matter, but in another galaxy, and on a planet full of anthromorphic beings.
But then I was told by Fox why I was there. Apperently, I was under the watchful care of the two to prevent me from being kidnapped by the Starwolf team (not that I'd mind to a degree).
Well anywho, I'm in the kitchen making a sandwich of sorts (more like making a mess), when the two go to retreat to their room. They wind up kicking Slippy out, who was working on some satellite receiver unit. He turned to me, and said "You might want to wake up soon.", before storming out the door. Okay, how did he know I was sleeping?
I pay it no mind, and go back to making my sandwich, which at this point is starting to look like a Picasso painting, when I hear noises coming from Fox and Krystal's room. As I get closer to the door, I realize what is going on behind it, and become rather annoyed. I start looking around for things that'll drown out the noise, when I spot the home theater system in the living room (7.1 Surround, 500-watt powered sub). As the two get louder in the room, I casually stroll over to the unit. Just as I start to turn the knob up, the thing literally snaps off in my fingers, as I hear the two getting into the "moment". In a fit of rage, I throw the volume knob at their door, yelling "Piece of junk!", which actually caused me to wake up.
And the funny thing about all this: I haven't played a Starfox game, nor read any fanfic material in a long time. o_o
Well, that's about it.
Take care all.
Had a dream last night that not only was I in the Starfox universe, but was actually inside the private home of both Fox and krystal on Corneria. Now, at this point, I'm pretty much excited to discover where I was. To think I wasn't on Earth for that matter, but in another galaxy, and on a planet full of anthromorphic beings.
But then I was told by Fox why I was there. Apperently, I was under the watchful care of the two to prevent me from being kidnapped by the Starwolf team (not that I'd mind to a degree).
Well anywho, I'm in the kitchen making a sandwich of sorts (more like making a mess), when the two go to retreat to their room. They wind up kicking Slippy out, who was working on some satellite receiver unit. He turned to me, and said "You might want to wake up soon.", before storming out the door. Okay, how did he know I was sleeping?
I pay it no mind, and go back to making my sandwich, which at this point is starting to look like a Picasso painting, when I hear noises coming from Fox and Krystal's room. As I get closer to the door, I realize what is going on behind it, and become rather annoyed. I start looking around for things that'll drown out the noise, when I spot the home theater system in the living room (7.1 Surround, 500-watt powered sub). As the two get louder in the room, I casually stroll over to the unit. Just as I start to turn the knob up, the thing literally snaps off in my fingers, as I hear the two getting into the "moment". In a fit of rage, I throw the volume knob at their door, yelling "Piece of junk!", which actually caused me to wake up.
And the funny thing about all this: I haven't played a Starfox game, nor read any fanfic material in a long time. o_o
Well, that's about it.
Take care all.
Living Conditions
Posted 7 years agoI didn't think it would come to this, but I can't hold back any longer.
Woke up this morning, and found my grandmother snooping around my computer desk. She told me she was looking for something, but had no idea what it was. Then she goes back to sweeping the kitchen floor for the millionth time.
I've lived with my grandmother for a year now. Problem is, my bedroom is actually the living room, and I sleep on the couch. I have NO privacy, as when she sees me on my computer, she wanders over "looking for something", when in fact, she's trying to see what's on my screens.
She also has this thing about cleaning up around the couch, while I'm sleeping on it. No problems there you say? How about the fact that as she's cleaning, she literally farts like a beached whale? Seriously, she's done that on more than one occasion, with her back turned towards me, and then turns around and blames it on "getting old", when she knows where she was aiming.
And if that's not bad enough, she also has a cat that to me, seems very unhappy about living here as much as I do. The cat is constantly crying to go outside at night, but my grandmother won't let it, due to the wildlife that roams the backyard. So what does my grandmother do? She wakes up at 3 AM in the morning, and gives the cat treats to keep it quiet. During the day, when the cat wants to go outside, it'll sit near the door, and start meowing until one of us lets it out. 15 minutes later, the cat wants to come back in. We let it in of course, only to watch it walk around the kitchen for a minute, then wants to go back outside. The process repeats itself throughout the day. The cat has plenty of food and water available inside and out, so I get the impression that the cat isn't too happy.
So, I'm not sure what the deal here is. My grandmother is constantly looking for something she has no idea what, has an uncontrollable flatulence problem that could knock over a dragon, and has a cat that is in my honest opinion, suffering from severe boredom, since there's no enrichment toys for it to enjoy.
Good news is on the horizon though. I'll be moving back in to my mom's come the end of July. That means I'll have my own room again, with an actual BED that I can sleep on.
So we'll see how things go from here, and I will keep you all up to date.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Woke up this morning, and found my grandmother snooping around my computer desk. She told me she was looking for something, but had no idea what it was. Then she goes back to sweeping the kitchen floor for the millionth time.
I've lived with my grandmother for a year now. Problem is, my bedroom is actually the living room, and I sleep on the couch. I have NO privacy, as when she sees me on my computer, she wanders over "looking for something", when in fact, she's trying to see what's on my screens.
She also has this thing about cleaning up around the couch, while I'm sleeping on it. No problems there you say? How about the fact that as she's cleaning, she literally farts like a beached whale? Seriously, she's done that on more than one occasion, with her back turned towards me, and then turns around and blames it on "getting old", when she knows where she was aiming.
And if that's not bad enough, she also has a cat that to me, seems very unhappy about living here as much as I do. The cat is constantly crying to go outside at night, but my grandmother won't let it, due to the wildlife that roams the backyard. So what does my grandmother do? She wakes up at 3 AM in the morning, and gives the cat treats to keep it quiet. During the day, when the cat wants to go outside, it'll sit near the door, and start meowing until one of us lets it out. 15 minutes later, the cat wants to come back in. We let it in of course, only to watch it walk around the kitchen for a minute, then wants to go back outside. The process repeats itself throughout the day. The cat has plenty of food and water available inside and out, so I get the impression that the cat isn't too happy.
So, I'm not sure what the deal here is. My grandmother is constantly looking for something she has no idea what, has an uncontrollable flatulence problem that could knock over a dragon, and has a cat that is in my honest opinion, suffering from severe boredom, since there's no enrichment toys for it to enjoy.
Good news is on the horizon though. I'll be moving back in to my mom's come the end of July. That means I'll have my own room again, with an actual BED that I can sleep on.
So we'll see how things go from here, and I will keep you all up to date.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Anthrocon.exe
Posted 7 years agoc:\>anthrocon.exe
Main Menu:
1.) Register
2.) Check Status
3.) Make Changes
4.) Exit
> 2
Please wait...
Initializing Modem... Ok
Dialing Server...
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Sponsorship: Supersponsor
Hotel: The Westin Hotel
Checking in: July 4, 2018 - Late Night Arrival
Checking out: July 9, 2018
Transportation: Amtrak
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Departure:
July 4, 2018
Train #195 - Northeast Regional
Departing Route 128 (RTE) 6:46 AM
Arriving Washington DC Union Station (DCU) 2:28 PM
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Departing Washington DC Union Station (DCU) 4:05 PM
Arriving Pittsburgh (PIT) 11:48 PM
Returning:
July 9, 2018
Train #42 - Pennsylvanian
Departing Pittsburg (PIT) 7:30 AM
Arriving Philadelphia 30th Street Station (PHL) 2:55 PM
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Train #94 - Northeast Regional
Departing Philadelphia 30th Street Station (PHL) 3:57 PM
Arriving Route 128 (RTE) 9:52 PM
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Sponsorship: Supersponsor
Hotel: The Westin Hotel
Checking in: July 4, 2018 - Late Night Arrival
Checking out: July 9, 2018
Transportation: Amtrak
All Times Posted Set To EST.
/!\ Schedule Change Detected! /!\
Departure:
July 4, 2018
Train #195 - Northeast Regional
Departing Route 128 (RTE) 6:46 AM
Arriving Washington DC Union Station (DCU) 2:28 PM
TRANSFER
Train #29 - Capitol Limited
Departing Washington DC Union Station (DCU) 4:05 PM
Arriving Pittsburgh (PIT) 11:48 PM
Returning:
July 9, 2018
Train #42 - Pennsylvanian
Departing Pittsburg (PIT) 7:30 AM
Arriving Philadelphia 30th Street Station (PHL) 2:55 PM
TRANSFER
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Departing Philadelphia 30th Street Station (PHL) 3:57 PM
Arriving Route 128 (RTE) 9:52 PM
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c:\>
Need Help With Something...
Posted 7 years agoOkay, I know I haven't posted here in a while, but that doesn't mean I'm dead. I'll be posting more material in the near future.
Anywho, I recently had a song start playing in my head at random. Now, what's interesting is the song is from a website that I was part of 10 - 12 years ago. What's the website you ask?
Acwellan
Now, I'm sure SOME of you out there know what I am referring to. The song that played on the website though I can only remember that the title was Ai Wah something...
Yeah, not much to work off of, but it's a start.
But, that's all I have for now.
Take care all.
Anywho, I recently had a song start playing in my head at random. Now, what's interesting is the song is from a website that I was part of 10 - 12 years ago. What's the website you ask?
Acwellan
Now, I'm sure SOME of you out there know what I am referring to. The song that played on the website though I can only remember that the title was Ai Wah something...
Yeah, not much to work off of, but it's a start.
But, that's all I have for now.
Take care all.
Flashing Back.... Again.
Posted 7 years agoI swear, it's like someone shoved a DVD player into the side of my head, and stuck it on Repeat.
I can't help, but think back to the days, when I first started high school. At the time, I had attended Norton High High School from '99, to '03. It was those years I've had some of the best friends back then, and awesome adventures. The weeknights of coming home, and watching Cartoon Network, as well as firing up the N64 and playing Smash Bros. Then (trying to) set my VCR to record Outlaw Star, Wolf's Rain, and Inuyasha that came on Adult Swim.
Sadly, these memories are slowly starting to go blank on me for reasons I'm not too sure of. I listen to a lot of music from the late 90s, as well as the early 2000s to remind myself of the fun times I had back in those days, to keep things fresh.
Not sure what else to say at this point, so I'll leave as is.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
I can't help, but think back to the days, when I first started high school. At the time, I had attended Norton High High School from '99, to '03. It was those years I've had some of the best friends back then, and awesome adventures. The weeknights of coming home, and watching Cartoon Network, as well as firing up the N64 and playing Smash Bros. Then (trying to) set my VCR to record Outlaw Star, Wolf's Rain, and Inuyasha that came on Adult Swim.
Sadly, these memories are slowly starting to go blank on me for reasons I'm not too sure of. I listen to a lot of music from the late 90s, as well as the early 2000s to remind myself of the fun times I had back in those days, to keep things fresh.
Not sure what else to say at this point, so I'll leave as is.
That's about it for now.
Take care all.
Another Strange Dream
Posted 8 years agoSo last night, I had another strange dream, although this one might have had meaning to it.
I find myself in the woods, near a coastal village, inhabited by a number of tribal werewolves. The scene is a peaceful one, as I took a stroll through. No one seemed to notice me, as I think I may have been invisible or something. I continued to walk around, observing the activities of the village. The males would set out on a pack hunt, while the females would tend to the pups, as well as the village upkeep. The was a young pup sitting on a stump, playing a song of sorts on a wood flute, as other small pups would be playing along the shore. I continued to wander the village, until I reached the wood line.
Not sure why, but I pushed my way past thick vines and tree branches, until I stumbled upon something quite massive, that appeared to be a cooling tower of sorts. It looked to be in a bit of disarray, as chunks of concrete had been missing out the side. I took a glance back at the village, and was quite amazed to see that it was quite far away up the coastline. I was not aware that I had traveled that great of a distance in such a short time. But I continued to explore, and that was when I stumbled upon what the cooling tower was connected to, an abandoned nuclear power plant. And if that wasn't odd enough, what made it a bit more interesting was the lights were left on. I slowly entered the building, looking around, making my way past the containment unit, where the reactor vessel was held. The geiger counters all throughout the place showed no signs of present radiation, as I made my way up to the control room. Upon entering, I saw it was a massive office, with a curved control desk. All the dials and indicators showed that not only was the plant running safely, but was actually producing power. What I also found interesting, there was some dark techno music playing through the plant's PA system. Though as I started to ask myself why a pack of tribal werewolves would construct a village next to such a plant, I woke up.
Not sure what was going on, now I'm curious. Any suggestions/comments leave below.
I find myself in the woods, near a coastal village, inhabited by a number of tribal werewolves. The scene is a peaceful one, as I took a stroll through. No one seemed to notice me, as I think I may have been invisible or something. I continued to walk around, observing the activities of the village. The males would set out on a pack hunt, while the females would tend to the pups, as well as the village upkeep. The was a young pup sitting on a stump, playing a song of sorts on a wood flute, as other small pups would be playing along the shore. I continued to wander the village, until I reached the wood line.
Not sure why, but I pushed my way past thick vines and tree branches, until I stumbled upon something quite massive, that appeared to be a cooling tower of sorts. It looked to be in a bit of disarray, as chunks of concrete had been missing out the side. I took a glance back at the village, and was quite amazed to see that it was quite far away up the coastline. I was not aware that I had traveled that great of a distance in such a short time. But I continued to explore, and that was when I stumbled upon what the cooling tower was connected to, an abandoned nuclear power plant. And if that wasn't odd enough, what made it a bit more interesting was the lights were left on. I slowly entered the building, looking around, making my way past the containment unit, where the reactor vessel was held. The geiger counters all throughout the place showed no signs of present radiation, as I made my way up to the control room. Upon entering, I saw it was a massive office, with a curved control desk. All the dials and indicators showed that not only was the plant running safely, but was actually producing power. What I also found interesting, there was some dark techno music playing through the plant's PA system. Though as I started to ask myself why a pack of tribal werewolves would construct a village next to such a plant, I woke up.
Not sure what was going on, now I'm curious. Any suggestions/comments leave below.
2017 - A Year in Review
Posted 8 years agoOh boy, where do I begin?
Looking Back
At the beginning of the year, I didn't have too many problems. Yeah, I'll admit I had a few bumps along the way, but those were ironed out with little to no trouble. Spring soon would change to summer, and that's where I hit a snag in living conditions. I was forced to move out of my brother's apartment, and into my grandmother's, just before my trip to Anthrocon this year. Didn't have too many problems afterwards, as things slowly stabilized.
Did get to go to Furpocalypse this year as well, and met with some good friends. However, a few days after returning back, I was talking with someone whom I looked up to as role model in the furry fandom, and was told to my face that I am creepy, and uncomfortable to be around with. I'll give him credit for his honesty. But tolerance is something of a virtue that seems to be missing. In any case, all I could do was wish him well into the future.
However, losing someone I considered a friend wasn't as devastating, as was the news I received while I was at work early November, when my brother came into my store, and informed me that his father (my stepfather) had passed away due to a heart attack, not even a few days after his supervisor and longtime friend of the family had passed away of cancer. Hearing this news left me in a state of devastation for a while. This past Christmas was the first without my stepfather, and as what they say is true, it was a hard one. My brother whom I love very much, has been taking it very well, despite the added amount of responsibility that has now been placed on his shoulders.
Looking Ahead
Where do I go from here?
Well, I am planning on attending two cons in 2018. They are PineFurCon (PFC), and MidwestFurfest (MFF).
I'm also planning a summer Get-Together for everyone, as my grandmother has more than enough land out back behind the house, that I might be able to get an eventful night set up with tents, and even be able to get in touch with a good friend of mine who has a converted school bus to join. Not sure of the exact dates, but I will continue putting plans together, and see what happens. As for everything else, time will only tell.
Here's looking forward a great year.
That's about it.
Take care all.
Looking Back
At the beginning of the year, I didn't have too many problems. Yeah, I'll admit I had a few bumps along the way, but those were ironed out with little to no trouble. Spring soon would change to summer, and that's where I hit a snag in living conditions. I was forced to move out of my brother's apartment, and into my grandmother's, just before my trip to Anthrocon this year. Didn't have too many problems afterwards, as things slowly stabilized.
Did get to go to Furpocalypse this year as well, and met with some good friends. However, a few days after returning back, I was talking with someone whom I looked up to as role model in the furry fandom, and was told to my face that I am creepy, and uncomfortable to be around with. I'll give him credit for his honesty. But tolerance is something of a virtue that seems to be missing. In any case, all I could do was wish him well into the future.
However, losing someone I considered a friend wasn't as devastating, as was the news I received while I was at work early November, when my brother came into my store, and informed me that his father (my stepfather) had passed away due to a heart attack, not even a few days after his supervisor and longtime friend of the family had passed away of cancer. Hearing this news left me in a state of devastation for a while. This past Christmas was the first without my stepfather, and as what they say is true, it was a hard one. My brother whom I love very much, has been taking it very well, despite the added amount of responsibility that has now been placed on his shoulders.
Looking Ahead
Where do I go from here?
Well, I am planning on attending two cons in 2018. They are PineFurCon (PFC), and MidwestFurfest (MFF).
I'm also planning a summer Get-Together for everyone, as my grandmother has more than enough land out back behind the house, that I might be able to get an eventful night set up with tents, and even be able to get in touch with a good friend of mine who has a converted school bus to join. Not sure of the exact dates, but I will continue putting plans together, and see what happens. As for everything else, time will only tell.
Here's looking forward a great year.
That's about it.
Take care all.
