Once again like every year, it's time for my birthday, though now I'm starting to feel pretty old with every passing year. There's so many things that happened since my last birthday, some good, some bad, but mostly good, I always try to keep the bad things out of my mind so it doesnt't affect me that much and try to stay positive.

I know I haven't been that good of a friend to some of the people but lately I've been through a lot of stress and pressure planning the future, because it's a really difficult obstacle right now, but I won't give up until I reach my goal and even if I don't seem that close or affectionate to people anymore, that doesn't mean I don't like them less, on the contrary, I always love my friends and I wish the best for them. It's really tough, with all this going on, having people that think I don't care about them, that's why I want to make sure people understand what I'm going through.

Once all this is over and I can finally relax, I'll be able to focus on aiding those who think I don't care about them, so please give me some more time and I assure you that things will be just like they used to, because I'm still the same person and I won't change that.

Other than that, thank you everyone for being there for me everyday and keep cheering me up, you guys are the best people I've met and I'm really happy that you consider me your friend. Hopefully this will be a good birthday for me, even though I feel soooooo old ;w; I'm turning 23 and I feel like yesterday I was still a teen. Oh well, I'll enjoy the moments I had and I'll make new and better ones~

Hope you guys have a beautiful day and please stay awesome!
Love you all~♥

I made this journal because I'm curious about what people think of me, as person. Those who have been talking to me or those who have seen me around, I'm quite curious about what you guys think about me.

Good or bad, I won't judge you, so please feel free to post your honest thoughts about me in the comments, I would appreciate if you helped me since I wanna have a public opinion about me, it's really important.

Thank you all.

I know I should've probably done this already but I was too lazy to make this journal, specially because it's gonna be a long one to read, so I apologize if it becomes too much, but let me know your thoughts in the comment section if you so desire.

~~~~2017: The Beginning of an End~~~~

There's a lot of things that happened in my life in the last year or two, but I'm not gonna get much into the details of what happened, I only want to mention the factors that made a big change in my life. Around two years ago (January 2017), one of the worse phases of my life started for me, a group of people started stalking me and harassing me for a reason I still don't understand completely, there's too many versions of the case, so I'm unsure if I should even mention it, but they went so far to the point of disturbing my friends to try and get them to remove me.

Honestly, I don't know why would anyone be so desperate to get rid of me to go that far, I lost a lot of friends, but at least that made me realize who were my real friends, those who stuck with me and knew from the beginning those people only wanted to cause unnecessary drama. That went on for almost the whole year, so there's not much else to say, but I really thank my friends for helping me through all that.

~~~~Darkness in Love~~~~

It wasn't until late 2017/early 2018 where things started crumbling again, there was someone I was "mated" with, but sadly it didn't work out, you can't expect to be mates with someone if you can't trust them. The trust you build on someone can be as fragile as glass, it takes a long time to build trust, but it can be so easily destroyed, only one thing can ruin everything, and then, it takes your entire life to regain that trust, or even more, and for me, trust is one of the most important things in not only a relationship, but also in friendship, not to sound harsh, but anyone that ruins my trust in them is out of my life.

That's the main reason why my "relationship" didn't work out, I spent several months trying to rebuild that trust, but it was all in vain, I couldn't put up with it anymore, specially when someone you love says "I want to be with someone else too". But anyways, that was at the start of last year, and since then, I honestly started feeling kinda... Hopeless.

I didn't really know what I wanted to do with my life for a few months, I felt like all I was doing was not worth it and was wasting my life. I met new people, but I didn't get along with them unfortunately, I started feeling distant from some of my friends, I didn't know what to do in my life. It wasn't until Summer, the 5th of August, when I once again found some hope in my life, thanks to the one I'm mated with now, someone I love with all my heart and soul and has been watching over me since we met over 2 years ago, even though we didn't have much communication until that day.

~~~~A New Beginning~~~~

 Sylverlight is the one that brought light into my life again wanting to spend the rest of his life with me, the only real mate I've ever had, one of the simple facts that makes him a real mate is the fact that he wants to be with me IRL, unlike my previous relationships, where they just wanted something... Online. Sylver is different, and he made it clear of day 1, he wanted me, and wanted to be with me forever, honestly that really hit the spot in my heart. He's really sweet and caring, always thinking about me and trying his best for both of us to have a good future together, and I'm really appreciated that he's trying so hard for me, just like I'm doing for him.

For my plans in 2019, I'm not 100% sure what I want to do, but I'm certain about what important things I want to do, the first one and most important one is marrying Sylver so I can go live with him, and spend my life with him. That's my main focus right now, even though it's gonna be really difficult, but that won't scare me away, I'm determined to get through this, but about other things... That is a difficult question. I have to admit I'm a bit in a hard spot right now in terms of "lifestyle" mainly because my sleep schedule is broken. I've been playing MapleStory 2 quite a while, to the point where I just wake up, play the game for 12+ hours and the go bed, which is extremely unhealthy, but I'm trying my best to handle it.

On a happier side note, on Firday 18th of January (basically a week after posting this journal) I'm gonna finally meet Sylver, he's gonna come visit me here in my country to spend a week together, which I'm super excited and happy, spending a week with the best lover ever, it's gonna be super fun! The sad part is gonna come when he has to go back... That I'm sure I'm going to cry, but I'll get through it, I'm already prepared for that, and I'm gonna focus on spending the best week with him.

And I believe that's all I needed to say, again I apologize for making such a long journal, but I felt like I needed to say this, and thank you to all that read through this. Last thing before ending this journal is I hope everyone has a very happy 2019 and a lot of good things happen to all of you, also a reminder to those who would like to contact me to add me on Discord or Steam, I'll post then down below, and now, I take my leave. See you everyone!

Discord: Prince Eddy#2921 (It probably will change after a while)
Steam: Chibi Eddy

______________________________

~Tsutaga no Edward Libelldra Serperiatrix (Eddy)

Hello everyone, I just made this journal to annouce it's my birthday today, 15th of June, not that it's really important but, I don't know, I felt like doing it.

I want to thank everyone that has been with me and supporting me, I really appreciate it, and I hope I can help you as much as you help me, but I apologize if I'm not as good as I should be, I'll try to improve that all I can.

Some of you know I've been through rough times but with my friends' support I'm starting to feel better and I hope I can go back to my normal schedule of drawing and posting pics. I'll definitely go back to it when I feel ready, but I hope it's soon.

I don't have much more to say so I hope everyone's doing great and remember I'm always here if any of you need someone to talk to, I never say no to anyone that wants to help.

Saying that, I shall go now, thank you all again, over and out!

Tsutaga no Edward Libelldra Serperiatrix (Eddy)

Hello there everyone!

I never really said anything but I made a Discord server some time ago and I thought it would be nice letting everyone know about it, just in case anyone wants to join it, anyone can join.

The server is pretty much for anything, you can chat, post art, RP, etc. There are just a few rules, but they're pretty basic and standard, I'll post here the rules here for anyone to check in case you are interested.

1. Be polite, don't act rude towards anyone and respect their opinions, you'll see how everything is better that way.
2. There are several channels for a reason, please respect them and try to stick with their subject.
3. There are several RP and art channels you can use to share pics or even your own art in them, though there are some channels that are locked and you need a key to be able to see and use them, you can get those keys just by asking me either here or on DM.
4. Anyone can invite other friends if you want, just make sure they're good people and don't make drama, please.
5. Remember the server is divided in different roles, keep in mind Class Zero and Class First are the ones that have the last word, but I highlight, everyone is as important despite being in different classes.

Said that, you can join following the link below, which will be active for 24 hours, but if anyone wants to join and the invite expired, just send me a note and I'll give you another invite.

https://discord.gg/uFDkhX

And if you want to check the whole information about the server, here is the whole text for anyone to read to see how the server works.

Thank you everyone for your patience,
Eddy