So, I'm back on level ground at this point, my desktop is working, my emotions are leveling out, and my RPG might have a name; Immortal hunt. Real fracking original.

Speaking of original! Here's a meme, my first. so be gentle, or something. Or if you're gonna be rough, no hair-pulling.

Comment/note me with a symbol from below, let me know what you think about me.

♥ = I want a relationship with you

C: = I'm falling for you

:3 = I miss you

;] = I really like you

:* = I want to kiss you

:< = I hate you

: X = I like you

O: = I like you but I'm in a relationship

:/ = I like you but you're in a relationship

:] = You're cute

</3 = I regret leaving you

:b = We should get to know each other

;^) = We should hang out

<3 = I love you.. \o/

<:^ = I want to know you

@FT@=*stalk* [Someone explain this emoticon for me, while you're at it.]

eue = You're hot

<:3 = You're a great friend

^_^ = We're friends

^.^ = We're best friends

>;3 = I want you on top

>:3 = I want on top

[Fixed for noticeable errors]

It's just past four in the morning, I've been awake for fifteen minutes and unable to sleep.

My cat, Gizmo, after fighting with a fever for almost two days has passed away. I'm not sure what to say or do, or what will happen. I do know I can't sleep, and I will be in a horrible mood when it comes to work.

I think I already miss her, but I shed all my tears when I saw her in pain. I can only be consoled in the fact that she's in a better place with no pain, and is probably frolicking with past cats I've had.

Knowing she's gone is quite painful; I've seen her as a kitten, gave her to an abusive home only to bike there and steal her back into a good home.

There is nothing more I can do now, and I can only hope is that I can get a little advice from Hyza, and live in the moment like my other pets.

Back to attempting more sleep.

Long story short, I cannot get my desktop to run. Constant DRAM dump loop during bios, which is fantastic, considering I had to wait over a week for new RAM. So I'm fucked out of my desktop for another few weeks probably. Yay.

I've pretty much spent all of my money on this machine, and I feel very numb at this point. So until I can actually get it all running, Well. I won't be my usual self, most likely.

Not that most people who can read this will even notice.

Trying to get up to a new level in Star Trek Online before the free to play.

But before that, I'd like to take this time to mention that I'm nearly 21. (Jan. 18th) Holy fuck.

That's about it.

Also the desktop won't work. So I'm pretty much going to have to find a cheap/easy way to get it repaired. I'm thinking about taking the route of 'take it to Best Buy, show my receipt, and try to get Geek Squad to make da magics.


Well. Until then. Time to get Rear Admiral.

Hurr hurr. Rear.

I've discovered something as of late. I'm pretty sure of it, too.

I cannot be happy around people. I cannot be happy -with- people. I have been my happiest by myself, alone, away from the prying tendrils of others. When everything is on my own terms, I am happy. relaxed. I enjoy myself. But as soon as I touch another person, it all goes to hell.

Yeah. It's melodramatic. Yeah, it's not something someone might expect of the great and powerful Eebit, loyal friend and buttfucker of the ages.

Or some shit like that.

Supposedly I'm great around people, around children too.

But I'm never happy that way. I can communicate, i can bullshit, I can please people.

But I cannot be happy with them.

:D

No. No you can't. Unless you listen to me on live-stream (http://www.livestream.com/eebitsartandgames)

So I was making lunch, doing laundry...and I hear thudding.

Long story short, my cell phone is squeaky clean.

UPDATE:

What the fuck.

Checked on it the next morning. Plugged it in for kicks.

It's just fine.

Go read it. It should be in that leetle message thingy. With the S. Go on.

DON'T BE A PANSY.

The most wonderful time of the year to most people, even.

It looks like I have net again,s table and nice. So that's...fun I suppose.

I also have a part-time job of sorts at the UPS store now, and I'll be doing that every weekday starting next week. I'll admit I haven't posted anything of any note because the only thing I've made is...well.

Let's not go there.

I've lost Chard for good, it seems, now that he's not longer Chard, I suppose I have nothing to actually miss. Even if I did have to break a promise I made.

I've recently been coerced into trying EVE, and I'm on my second week of gameplay so far. It's...boring. Then it isn't. Then it is. Bleh. I hate subscriptions.

SOPA is trying to get passed, and hopefully that won't happen, or the only thing I actually -can- make will be illegal.

Speaking of which, when I stop being a boring fuck, I'll be writing smut. Chocobo smut. Because there simply ain't enough of that fucking topic.

I'm slowly becoming more and more enraged, and I can't really understand why. I hope I don't blow up at work.

Ahem. Enough. Alright.

Last thing of note: Chard, if you want your pokemon game, you'll actually have to bother contacting me.

I guess that's it. See ya shits later.

Quick journal:

So. That whole five gigs net?

Just hit 90% usage. But hey, thankfully this has also caused mum to go 'huh. this net -does- suck.' So we're going to be net shopping soon, it seems. (however, all things considered, around here, Cox [Hurr hurr] is the best net. It's the only provider here with > 1.5 Mb/s speed.)

This means nothing right now.

Move along, citizen.

Alright. Well. I'm starting to get a little more stable at home. Going out is still a major problem, but I'm trying to get out more.

Ok. less going out more and more getting tugged out by Mom. And Grandma.

Lately, I've been on a Verizon hotspot. Five gigs pre-paid per month. Not-so-great download, not-so-great upload. So I'll be doing very little short of single-player games.

However, now I can talk about the first Mass Effect game without looking like a tool, and I'm maybe half-way through the second.

I'm going to be doing recordings of games soon, though, to help pass some of my free time. So, I'm going to either do one-life/one-continue runs of random SNES games, so I'll be kinda...sweary perhaps, depending on the game, or I might just do, like, a fifteen minute run of things. or thirty, depending on the game. What else...what else...

Oh!  Nayokoventila! I know you're reading this, and I haven't said a damn word (hurr durr lion), great work so far on the dolls, keep up the great work! The rest of you fools should totally check her stuff out , great statues, great painting, and I can only see her doing fabulously with her doll-work!

Last but not least, if any of you guys want to see me bumble through a specific SNES game, tell me, and I'll bump it up. Or a (downloadable) remix I could do in Beat Hazard.

Well, enough is enough, lion's going to bash his head into his laptop until games are purdy. (Last minute screw you goes out to Touhou 6, which stuffed my butt with bullets on the last boss, on her last bit of health. Screw you.)

So I need to make a last ditch effort to stay. Is it really worth it? I have so many opportunities back in Nebraska, or so I'm told. I could even get a Prius out of it. If I stay I get to be with the man that I spend five years of my life trying to get to in the first place.

As I've said to someone before, I'm stuck between a rock and a rape-stick. It ain't comfortable, and I know no matter what I actually choose, I'll be hurt in the end. Temporarily or Permanently, I'm not sure...I need to make one last attempt at having a life.

I cried a lot. I recently got the best e-mail from my mother today. So unless I can make 1000$, get a job, and or leave the house on a regular, not-freak-out-basis, I'm going back to Nebraska.

This is the best day ever to have a headache.

Well. It's another day, and I feel slightly awesome for the stream I had the other day, so I'll be hosting this one today. This time, if I give up on Ultimate doom (episode 4 was kicking my tail) I'll move on to Doom 2, and possibly some mods.

For anyone interested, http://www.livestream.com/eebitsartandgames is the link. That said. I'm very tired this morning, so it will take some time before I start anything.

Well. For anyone interested, feel free to pop by. if I haven't started when you look, bug me (notes, skype, msn, whatever.)

So. One thing comes first, being at this hour I feel tired as all get out, so I'm already running a 66% chance of not making sense.

Second, it's September 11th, (Or will be, or was, depending on when this is read) and I do what I do every year. This time, I'm live streaming it.

I loved my father, back when he was alive. I feel like I hardly know him at this point, but I knew he had a few health problems, one being his horrible back. I used to be little, and I'd be his 'cane' when he didn't bring his real one, but I loved to help him.

He's the reason I play video games as much as I do, rather than read, rather than watch movies, rather than art. Har har.

My father passed away, as many of you probably know by now, on September 11th, 2000. The greatest memories I have with him was playing DooM. Yes I was about 6 when I first played it, and Nine when he passed, to the best of my memories. So, today (yesterday) I will play (did play) DooM (DooM) all day. (for about 5-10 hours)

Please, whether you like FPSes or not, whether you like DooM or not. It would be nice to be watched during this time, I think. Chat with you guys. so on so forth. When I start streaming, it can be found at http://www.livestream.com/eebitsartandgames

Pass this on to anyone you know who loves video games, or their family. Or both. Because both is cool.

Tata.

SO I think I found out what goes on in my head when I try to do artsy fartsy things.

This.

http://adf.ly/2FgZU

The link below is exactly the same, I just have the one up top for those who want to help me earn a quarter of a cent.
(Lazy prick, right here.)

http://vimeo.com/thisisit/donthugme

So. I won't be getting sleep any time soon. Or using my tablet for a month or so. Not with that fresh in my mind.

Sweet or salty?

My preference has always been salty. I can't honestly stand sweets most of the time. Not that I don't eat candy, drink soda, or so on.

To those who looked at what I drew first (trust me, the thumbnail is enough) here is where I'd rather you laugh. But I'm probably going to try and move on from drawing. So with all creative mediums exhausted in my eye, I suppose this account's purely for lurkin'.

Enjoy.

Screwballs.

This is the second move. The thing is, with my fears, I've not been doing well. It's also been hot and muggy, which can't possibly help this. I've just stolen a bit of time which chard may not be aware of to tell my watchers, and to tell anyone who got linked here that I might not have internet for a week or two.

Fantastic, right?

A lot of ideas have been floating around my head about my life, and maybe, one day I'll try to draw again, if my pessimism doesn't get the better of me. Until then, though..who knows.

The future might be lacking in feathers, or internet. Both? Don't know. I won't go into detail, I don't want to. So. We'll see.

I'll miss you guys.

Ugh. Cobwebs.

Alright. I fixed a few minor things on my FA profile. Can you spot all the differences?

Anyways. You'll notice some links in my profiles, if you want, please click on them, they'll lead you to some very nice things I found while browsing. If anyone can help label my youtube links, that'd be nice.

I'm rather unenthusiastic this morning.

Went out to the EZ mart last night, the one I could walk to. Went in a car this time.

Had a panic attack.

Fun.

I need to start doing more artsy-fartsy stuff and I still can't come up with squat. I'm not cut out to be an artist, why am I even here?

Oh well. At least people can stare and laugh at me while I stab the tablet. If any of you guys play Vindictus, World of Tanks, TF2, or whatever free game there is, I'll probably be here.

Oi, and if you DO like the youtube links, copy the url you clicked to get there. Yeah, it's an extra five seconds to get to yer goodies, but you are helping a self-diagnosed agoraphobic to get a few cents. (so far, 41 people have clicked my links, I've got nine entire cents.)

Alright, enough hoboing! *tincan-shake* I've seen rubber duckies with more foam in their left Wednesday than you; scram!

Well. I started writing this journal, thinking I knew better.

Uh.

Hm. *microphone tap*

I was about to be a jerk, link you guys to stuff, but then I look at the fact that I have only 15 watchers. So I need to either stop wanking about and do something to get noticed, like draw. (D:) Or write. (D:) Or make music. (teh lulz)

Well. I'll drop a bomb, give you guys a link to what's wrecking my mind. I just need to find a place where I could probably link indiscriminately. Yeah, Eebit found another get rich quick scheme. OH. HEY. I know! :D

HEY EVERYONE. WHO WANTS A MINECRAFT SKIN? I'm horrible, I swear, but for the low low price of free, because i need to make a name here/there, I'll try to hack together a skin or two. All I ask is that you click the link I provide, maybe link to my journal.

I guess I'm a jerk. So here's a few links. :D

http://adf.ly/1cZfn
http://adf.ly/1cNdC
http://adf.ly/1ca0B

Alright. That'll have to do for now guys. Here's to hopin' I can get a little notice going on here. A toast, to a furry future!

I have now realized when I'm walking around the house barefoot, and no one else is on the floor of the house I'm on; I watch my feet and hiss out 'smoosh smoosh smoosh' in time with my footsteps.

I also now realize when I start doing this, I lose my balance and stumble.

Still hissing out 'smoosh.'

Alright, I got talked into entering a contest from Custom-metal-collars. So, I suppose for anyone who wants to see this contest, after me, there should be only two slots left, but hey, you can always buy something from them!

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2206662/

Other than that, things are the same.

Yes, really.

More to come.

So I'm typing up a new journal, fantastic huh?

Moving again, with Chard once more, the only thing is that we're moving to a new home with another couple, and three of the four of us are going to be furries. Ok, maybe three and a half. It's hard to tell.

I'm getting fed up with my stomach, though, so I'm going to bitch.

Bitch bitch bitch. Blah blah blah. Bitch blah. Blah bitch. Biach.

Alright. Main problem I'm going to admit is that I can't eat. Well. I can eat, but I get almost immediately nauseous. Happens with even MORE fun when I'm in public. Excessive details tell me to tell you, sheeples, that I haven't vomited ever since I had to only write one digit for my age. Mom, if you're reading this, yes I lied about puking so I'd get out of school.

Big deal.

Continuing on, I might get my tablet back soon, I lent it to someone with actual artistic skill, if she'd get an FA, I'd link you people. Sucks, huh?

Continuing on with my random ramblings, Mikhal/whateveryourothernamesare, thank you so much for the music, I know you're not reading this anytime soon since you don't know I have an FA< but who knows, you might just google some shit and find this. Hey google, I typed shit, HAHA safesearch.

Games. I love games. I love free shit. I love birthdays. I love the whole world, boom de ah, boom de ah da. Yes, that's subliminal for...

Holy crap, does anyone else suddenly remember old commercials? What was that for, Sprite or 7up? Oh hell, what was dnL while we're at it? I never drank it, what was it like? Also Surge, that stuff was sugar water in a can.

Right. Remembering things suddenly; I have a steam account, and if you ever want to chat me up, I'll be happy to talk to you all; I'm [GA] Eebit there, or just eebit. Or something.

Dungeons and Dragons online, also Eebit there, level 6 fucked-up-in-the-head bard, Argonessian. Or whatever one looks like Argonian. Crod on Dynasty Warriors online, Wu forces, I think. Don't remember. I know they ain't winning though.

Seriously considering ending this journal entry. Yeah. I think that's plenty about my life. Comment, and I'll read it. Ask for a reply...well, I ain't Brian, but I'll see what I can do.

I almost typed the P word here, but everyone else does that. So war.

Motherfucking War, people.

Stuck in the middle with life.

It's my first Monday where I'm not in my old home. This is my new home. By typing this I'm making things better.

I lied.

I'm actually enjoying it here, in the Chard-gryph's home, though I will admit it, the way everything is as it is, I feel like I'm just a guest, not a member of the family...

Not that it's their fault! It's mine, I can't really unpack myself, to be honest, it's a little strange, but I suppose that's OK. I'm still trying to get used to the weather down here; freezing, then baking, then back again. It only seems to feel cold in the morning, not at night.

Damn seasons. Never thought I'd say that.

So, today I'm going to stomp around town, going to poke my head into a shop or two to attempt getting a job. Hell, if I can hit the McDonalds up the road, I'd be just as fucking happy.

So, to those who never read my last journal, or at least didn't respond.

SHAME. SHAAAAAAME.

Off that little guild-binge. I may not be as online, talkative, or even as goddamn sexy as I have been. This is normal. Very normal. To those who watch me and haven't spoken to me in a long time. I'm sorry.

Well. It's time to put on a shirt, put on some shoes.

And shit myself.

Erm. Prowl. Yes.

Let the RIAA take my money, I have very little as it is.

Anyways, off that topic, today is my final weekend with my parents, well...alright, my mother and grandmother, and it might not really really be a final weekend counting visits.

This saturday.

I'm moving.


Supposedly, who knows? Something might happen again, something so horriffic and brutal that it can only be fitting for the relationship it would break.

Pesimissim aside, I think this is going to work. Going to move out, into a new home, get a job (finally) And start really grabbing life by the balls.

But now I'm thinking, (which is dangerous right there) and I'm wondering...

When I move out, when I get a job, when we get a place to live together...what's left to do in life...Die?

Damn humans.