Ok so another sleepless night for Egryn, but holy crap balls I have realyl hit the streets on thsi site to everyone who is thanking me for the watch or faves Your are welcome and I only watch what I like so it means something for me to watch you, not tooting my own horn I am just really picky and I don't like crap. But on a different note KAKANI you are a fucking poetic Goddess I swear. Crap perople if you haven't read the poetry that is posted from her READ IT! It is really good and pretty damn amazing all around. Check her out you should likewhat you find on her page.

Well I am sitting here budgeting out the next few months and I am totally stoked on going to FAU. But one thing is going to suck about going since this is my first Furfest and I am relativly new to this site I am not really going to know anyone and I am just wondering if anybody is going to be there. drdop me a line if you are going so perhaps we can meet up. I really want to hang with you all so like I said let me know if you are going and we can meet up.

Ok so sparkle gives me some advice about one of my rants. Tells me to take a trip out of state and so well I am like yay another boring trip to seattle XP Sorry for al of you who want to see the space needle but it is gay and I have been to Pike's a trillion times. So I don't want to go.
But there is a saying: Go out with a Bang. So I see this link here about FAU and Suddenly the hamster gets this jolt to it stopped heart and it starts running again. I am GOING TO THIS PEOPLE...GOING! I will see you all there in August and I want to get plowed with as many people that are willingto drink with me. So when you see me feel free to say what's up and we are going to hang in just an hour's drive from my Hometown of Haverstraw, NY. That is right East Coast I am coming home. So god help me I am making my face seen at this Con and I am not holding back. I am not sure if I can deck myself out in some of the finer threads but I am making FAU my first fur con ever and I am even traveling to Newark to do it (shudders). Just to let you all know I HATE Newark for morethan one reason and if you see me outside smoking approach me from the from I will be on edge outside the hotel. BTW if you all hear a call for Drunken Art Fusion get there and you will probably see me heading up a round or two or being part of something that will be hella fun. I pray you guys are all there... And Sparkle thank you for the advice I owe you one. Please be there. You too Lallix!

So check this shit out. First off as you can see I am pretty annoyed. I am doing some basic computer work for my fam and in return they are paying me an OK wage and they just hooked me up with the old family comp with totally rocks. But one problem the only phone line the comp can get onto is in MY room so since 1995 has just hit for my family we have DIAL UP (someone kkill me please) well I try to sign on and the fucking thing won't give my comp a dial tone. So now I hve to lug the fucking tower into the computer room just so I can get online to use MY computer. This isfucking gay I just wish there was one point where my family would listen to me and get CABLE internet. It works itis fast and it is affordable. But no my Dad like dial up he thinks t is fast enough. If only I could show him the light without him shooting the damned idea down. Please someone rescue me from Idaho. Anyone Please!

Ok so thist is where I am standing. I Hate my job and I don't don't want to be there anymore but I can't do anything about it because where I live is the boondocks. Not to mention that in Idaho there never is work in the winter. SO I am stuck. My family is starting a company but working for them is like signing my life away although I know the in the long run it will make more money. I want to work for them but I don't want to be the soldier that my father wants me to be (btw it is a security company, military standards to the max) so I ask you all out there that wander to my profile what should I do? Hit me back.

Ok sor fall who have seen the post and I just recently broke up with me girlfriend. I will tell you that it hurt and it hurt more to find out that she was unhappy in the relationship for a while. I found that out yesterday. In desperation I asked her to answer some question burning at my brain. She turns around and very bluntly tells me to deal with it. It in my opinion was pretty fucked up.

So here's what I did. I turn around and tell her off in such a way that she won't come out of her room. Now I know she read the message and I know I hurt her by what I said, but I am not hurt about it. It was something that needed to be done.

She is a good person and well, as it is said the truth hurts.

Ok I really need to write right now because it will savemy sanity just enough to make sure I don't something really Stupid.

I just recently lost my girlfriend. She was really special and I loved her. She was different and when you think you love someone and then oneday find out what love is it is so painful to deal with. I really can't turn to anyone becuase itis my problem to bear and I am going to start counseling. I am listening to James Blunt's Goodbye my Lover right now I am havingsuch a hard time typing now because I can't see and I am shaking terribly.

When James Blunt premeired this song he said that you would not want to listen to this if you ever Lost someone you loved. Until recently I could listen to this song unphased but I could relate. NowI see why he said not to listen to it. Becuase this is so hard to listen to but I can't turn away from it becuase it is true. I love my girlfriend with all of my heart and there is no way I can tell her how I feel anymore. I am so hollow right now and I don't know what to do with my life right now. I am floundering and I can't seem to get a hold of anything.

I never thought that losing her would be this hard and for the time we were together I did my best to ready myself if this ever happened. But everything I thought I would be able to deal with is just a painful remnder that I fucked up and that I cause her to break up with me. It was my fault and I don' know if I will ever be able to get back with her. Nothing matters anymore and I am afraid that losing her is going to cause my death. I lost her once because I didn't know she loved me and now I lost her because I allowed my fustrations and anger overwhelm me and she justcouldn't take it. What is even harder is that she has already moved on and I am stuck with all of the pain. She seems so happy now and I want to be part of that happiness once again. I am falling and I can't get up. God why is this so hard? Why doesit have to hurt so much? Why do I have to feel this way just so I can heal and rectify the problems in my life.

I can't express in words how much this girl meant to me and I can't express how much I hurt. I am on the verge of stopping everything at this point and I have to keep typing so I don't do anything rash. I just wish I didn't fuck up becuase a life without her is not a life worth living. If any of you who read this knew what kind of person she is you would understand. I never in my entire life have found someone so selfless to her friends and family, I never laid eyes on anyone as beautiful as her, and I never spoke to a more intellegent person.

This girl was what I had searched for my entire life and now I have pushed her out of my life and I am paying the price for it dearly. I would rather have five minutes of pain to end it all than have to deal with one more day with the pain I am feeling now.

It seems so easy. But I don't know hwo it will help. I am so lost and just want a helping hand in my life. I am so lonely even though I live with friends. I just want to stop everything.

I need to stop now. For everyone who reads this I want to say that I love you. I love you for who you are and all of your beliefs. I love you for your talent, and I love you that you are there in the world helping someone with something no matte how small it is. If you never hear from me again Please take these words to heart. Ilove you.

So this is my first blog on furaffinity so I am really racking my brain. It is not becasue I don't know what to write but I have only been on for a few days so I am still a little uncomfortable about my surroundings. I know I know sounds weird and all but it is true. it is like sleeping in a strange house. You are just not used to it .

well with that out of the way I am kinda anxious about getting messages on my story I am writing. It am pretty happy about it becuase for a while I have had writers block and that story is kind flowing. I am really reviving something I lost. and I mean that too. I haven't written a story for about six years but now I just want to write and I don't know why. Not to mention I have been up all for the last two days and only took about and hours nap last night. So for me to be this energetic so early in th morning on so little sleep kinda has me worried. I have never done this kind of bender since I was in high school.

I really hope I can actually start making friends on here because it is lonely not just being here without anyone's notice.

So really if you happen upon my page Drop me a line people.

On a totally different note has anyone ever noticed how catchy the music in Katamari damacy is. I have no idea why but it really is.