It's official. I've broken down and just haven't stopped crying! Fuck my life! So much pressure, so much to climb out of!

The last few months have been draining both professionally, and in life. With everything going on with my family and trying to make time to help them, the IRS, trying to stay on top of my bills, and trying to pay for my car's registration which includes smog certification this year, on top of commissions AND work I find myself simply exhausted. My day lately consists of nonstop drawing sometimes chipping away at two commissions at a time due to my sense of obligation and trying valiantly to deliver my best. It's daunting for sure with no time whatsoever for anything else so please forgive my complete absence from Skype my friends. Unfortunately I've no time left to chat or distract myself and that has nothing to do with you or your company which I do enjoy. I find myself picking up an extra cigarette or two most days as I march onwards. I have no luck when it comes to commissions. Usually my days are quiet and unremarkable but as soon as I open my commission slots the world sees fit to throw everything at me including the kitchen sink! I don't know why that is but it's frustrating. I'm doing my best, I'm willing to deliver my best, but it just gets challenging and the pressure mounts. I'm not complaining about commissions, just wondering why that every time I am working on them a million other things pop up at once while trying to get them done. It's very exhausting and I end up lying awake at night trying to sleep but forbidden from doing so because I'm trying to figure out how to make things work. For both what a commission will look like and what real world tribulations I'll have to deal with as well. I'm sorry for ranting and I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining because I'm not, I'm just wiped out but putting a smile on my face to try and keep strong and positive. Oy, so tired!

I still have a few more commissions to go but I'm looking for anyone interested to write a two to five page script detailing She-Cats defeat and inflation into a balloon. You can include your own villain if you desire or leave it generic. You can have them keep her or repurpose her, or just plain let her float off into the horizon. Basically the skies the limit! Interested? Note me questions or what have you.

My mother has been lucky enough to have been given a vacation to Hawaii. Something she surely needs if I must say with her recent health issues. Having said that I'll be out for a week with a total blackout of sorts as I will be watching my little brother during this week. I'm not ignoring, I'm not trying to be elusive. I'll see you on the other side!

So there's bit a lot of debate on Bliss' end and how her fate should come to pass. The best thing to do is leave it up to you my lovely fans and your cruel and twisted minds! Which should be Bliss ultimate and final permanent fate?

1. Pussy
2. Asshole
3. A piece of shit
4. Cock
5. Rapehound eggsack

A great big thank you to those who expressed interest in a commission. Thanks to those who spread the word! You've helped me to fill my slots quickly and I'm grateful. Those of you who weren't able to find a slot this time around I'll keep your info and when I'm open again I'll ask you beforehand if you still wish to have a commission done.

Secondly I was wondering when it comes to She-Cat which transformation do you associate with her most? Eggsack? Inflated balloon? Or septic tank?

With a small window of opportunity presenting itself soon I am opening five slots for commissions. I have contacted a couple interested parties who weren't able to reserve a slot last time so two slots are pending. If you are interested in reserving a slot, note me your interest and I'll reply back with confirmation and payment information. This is only for a super limited time as my window for commissions is very small.

Slots available
1. (Pending)
2. (Pending)
3. Available
4. Available
5. Available

I'm opening five more commission slots for now, two of which are pending. If youd like to reserve a slot note me and I'll get back to you with a confirmation. Reserving a slot will mean payment is required. Please please read my TOS on my main FA page.

Yeah, you read that right. Before I put pencil to paper I feel I need to say this. My whole cursed life I've been living a lie. Born physically male but in all other ways female. My youth spent alone and removed from belonging. Never fitting in with either gender because one aspect of me was never in synch. I didn't relate to the boys because I wasn't and I wasn't included with the girls because physically they didn't see me as such. I kept to myself for much of my life wondering what was wrong with me, never feeling alignment with my self. Hating who stared back in the mirror and causing myself harm by cutting or drinking myself stupid. I wanted to die and that feeling hasn't left me. I wrestle with it on a daily basis to this day. Finding a reason to wake up and exist.

Bliss the character is the true me in all ways. She is who I am and who I aspire to be. Not simply some cruel powerful villain but looking beyond that a woman who takes what she wants and doesn't care how she is perceived. She's the playful pink haired friend loyal to those who have been loyal to her. Shes a vagina given life who looks human but is clearly not. Fitting in to a degree but hiding what she truly is inside. Persecuted and angry yet taking hold of what she is and trying to find her place.

I suppose this is also why I am fascinated with transformation. To be anything you want to be and free from the physical prison of the flesh. A blink of an eye can make you something else in an instant. I also suppose this is why I just want to belong. On the Internet i can be me and no one judges. I'm accepted for the woman I am. I can be the woman I am and be free. Its why I want to feel included or why I ask to be a part of your cliques or groups. Life hasn't afforded me such luxuries or these things that so many take for granted. Friendship, belonging, togetherness. You don't think so but these are taken for granted because so many can easily obtain it. I've never been able to. Not without a fight but then is it really friendship if it's fought for?

Every aspect of my real life is painful, I've never been able to transition because I've been to cowardly and not having the resources or the knowledge or the support. My dad is very bigoted and old fashioned and to this day he still doesn't know. I have to pretend to be someone I'm not around him and it's painful. My fear is being alone, abandoned, empty. I don't know why I'm saying all this but this is a reason for my emotional insecurities and my desire to belong. To feel wanted and loved. Just feeling that there is a place for me amongst you.

Going to be working on getting commissions done this week as well as a few of my own things.

Nevermind then. It seems no matter how hard I fucking try to belong to a group or become a friend im neglected or overlooked or just plain ignored. All my life I've spent watching others form cliques around me and not a single invite. I've always been the outsider and it seems I always will. I'm tired of being depressed and being taken for granted. If none of you want much of anything to do with me or my ideas or our OCs interacting then fine. How about I just erase myself from fucking existence to! I hate my life, I hate the fact when I try to get things going most of you feel you're too damn good for me. You have enough friends so why bother with the emo bitch begging to belong! I'm tired of living and this is why. The world has no place for me so why bother anymore. Seriously I feel done and ready to call my life to an end.

Or brutally transform my OCs on Skype! elysium.bliss

Should have more time to chit chat for a while.

Another week has passed and I'm on the cusp of completion. I have one more page to get done and my current project will be all caught up. Please. Any other artists out here verify this with me but when constantly producing content at such a pace (two weeks of virtually nonstop drawing) it can be exhausting. Mentally and physically. People assume you draw and it's easy and fun rainbows and unicorns but it is to me at least very taxing. You are constantly in focus mode and you have to lock yourself away from activities, friends, and any personal time. Anyways I'll definitely be able to start commissions up again this week so be on the lookout! On top of that I should be able to start chatting some more so that should be fun, provided you haven't already written me off! I've missed you and I certainly need to embrace you guys again.

Working working working! Having said that I've been on a kick lately involving the idea of Bliss changing her look to become super amazing fat and possibly immobile! I unfortunately have NO time whatsoever at the moment to put pen to paper to see it happen so I had the idea if anyone would like to trade? Draw Bliss new look as a blubbery blob of lard and in return I'll gladly add you to my list of commissions that I should once again be starting sometime next week. Ideally I'd like her to come off as massive and bloated as can be. Any takers?

So it's the end of another brutal and exhaustive week ( or beginning depending on how you view Sundays) and I'm here to update! Good news is that battling through the last week I managed to get half of my back logged work done... Bad news is I've managed to only get half of my back logged work done. I'm so tired! But I'm pushing on and hoping to see myself caught up this week.

I'm finally back home after spending time with my mother who as you know by now suffered a small stroke. She's been doing fine and has proven herself to be quite the resilient one. She already wants to make plans for Disneyland and let me tell you just hearing that put the biggest smile on my face! She still has trouble with her eyesight but she's alive and breathing and has some pep again so I'll take what I can get! Thank you all for the support and the prayers and the patience while I dealt with family issues. What you may not know is that two years ago come April I lost my Grandfather, Stepmother, and Uncle within a two week span and that truly rattled me. I still haven't recovered fully and death is on my mind more frequently than it used to be which is why I HAD to drop everything for a couple weeks to be there for my family.

Naturally I'll be working on commissions and work related projects trying my damndest to play a stressful game of catch up at this point so I'll kinda be gone for a bit. Not entirely mind you as I will check in and post updates and of course commissions. Those who have commissioned me, I ask that you grit your teeth and bear with me during this timeframe as my plate is ridiculously full but I remain devoted and determined to deliver your works. Those of you I chat with online I apologize for my absence and by no means want you to think I've forgotten you or ignore you, I'm just wracked with stress and MUST place my priorities during this crunch time.

I wish I had more time to play but life hasn't been cooperative lately. Don't hate me for it and please understand how difficult things have been for me as I have a tendency to lose sleep and make myself sick worrying about commissions and work while maintaining my family. I pledge to continue my best efforts and deliver as soon as possible.

So much love,
Bliss

Firstly, mom has been doing ok. Her doctor has put her on a new regimen of pills and exercise and her diet MUST change. The scariest moment was hearing the doctor say that he wasn't sure how she wasn't dead. Jokingly I mentioned she was too stubborn but nonetheless it was a horrifying revelation. I'll be spending the rest of the week with her and my sisters trying to get in as much time as I can before heading back home. So it's been a mixed bag of news. The positive side of which is that she's still here and im not taking any of it for granted. Love ya guys and I'll see you soon.

As many of you who follow me and have read my journals know my mother's health has been an issue for several months. sadly I was informed by my sister that she has suffered a small stroke. She's a durable on though and the doctors have mentioned she is a "tough cookie" but I've made plans to spend some time with her and help with what I can. With the two year anniversary of my stepmother and grandfather's death coming up im sure you can understand my stress and fears. This means I won't be working on commissions for at least a week or so. I've already asked you for so much of your patience but I'm begging for more for the time being until things settle. Youve all been so very supportive and understanding and when I pick up my pencil again within the next couple weeks I promise to deliver my absolute best. Please keep my family in your prayers and remember to hug your loved ones as often as you can.

Does anyone feel like having their OC inflate my OC She-Cat into a really really overinflated balloon permanently? It could potentially be a part of my FA canon. Maybe have a story done that we could script out into a mini comic I could get to once my workload lightens significantly? Just a random brain fart! It comes with being overworked and a tad stressed! ;p

Well let's start things off right with the good news. I'm getting through this particular batch of work pages rather smoothly and commissions SHOULD resume by next week provided nothing major happens. The bad news is I'm still not able to spend time conversing or chatting on Skype with you guys and gals for the time being. I do miss the lot of you but if I'm to remain on schedule I can't have any distractions. I hope to be back soon and explore some particularly nasty fun!

With a couple commissions under the belt I have to wrap up a few work pages. Commissions will return briefly. Thank you all for your patience and understanding.

(UPDATED) Commissions go as follows. (* Paid commissions being the priority obviously and not a sign of who did or didn't pay but simply a placement on the order in which payment was received and the order in which I will deliver said commissions)

1. Wandering Rambler (Pencilled Commission 4 page series & Colored Commission)*
2. Kirbutashi (Pencilled Commission)*
3. Bion (Pencilled Commission)*
4. Seadog Driftwood (Four paneled tf sequence)*

These are commissions already paid in full, if I have forgotten anyone let me know. If you have yet to pay I haven't forgotten I'm just listing the priority commissions.

(UPDATED) Commissions go as follows. (* Paid commissions being the priority obviously and not a sign of who did or didn't pay but simply a placement on the order in which payment was received and the order in which I will deliver said commissions)


1. Daemonbreed (Pencilled Commission)*
2. Wandering Rambler (Pencilled Commission 4 page series & Colored Commission)*
3. Kirbutashi (Pencilled Commission)*
4. Bion (Pencilled Commission)*
5. Seadog Driftwood (Four paneled tf sequence)*

These are commissions already paid in full, if I have forgotten anyone let me know. If you have yet to pay I haven't forgotten I'm just listing the priority commissions.

Anyone interested in a trade? I know I'm pretty booked but there's something I really want to see and apparently nobody will entertain my idea without altering it considerably to serve their needs. Again just another show of lack of respect for me and my ideas. I don't need to be told what I want I just want to see it happen. Anyway note me if your interested. I can only really squeeze one in unless you're willing to be patient and understand I have quite a it of work to catch up on and won't mind the wait. Again note me if your interested.

I've always wanted my breasts to be inflated beyond rational thought!