I did the disapooffle and went to twitter a while ago and mainly have been putting doodles up there when I post them, but I'm gonna try and start putting my doodles on here again.

Gonna start by slowly adding a lot of the sketches that I put up over there on here, so you might see some stoofs I already shared if you follow me there

A lot has changed in the past two years, and that's not just the diapers, but I still draw from time to time and wanna be able to share what I work on. You will likely see a lot more fetishy work from me too instead of a focus on just smol cuteness. No matter what though, I hope you enjoy my arts \O/

Hello, this is just a friendly reminder that when meeting someone new that there are things you should never do. I have a lot of anxiety issues so I normally try to ignore this type of stuff for fear of upsetting someone, but I've had a handful of people do this sort of thing and seemed like they were expecting praise for it, so I thought I'd say something.

First, please talk about more then the contents of your pants, I really don't need to know about your every bowel movement and where you do it. As well it is very discomforting to have someone spam pictures of their diapered crotch and ass at you. Believe it or not, I am not into diapers as a thing and don't really need to see what you are wearing. Also, I do like talking about people's characters and learning about them; however, when the full story amounts to character's name, state of continence, and preferred diaper I would really rather not need to try and follow that. Do not rp my own characters for me and really don't try to force me to rp with you if I say no. As always, do not try to use guilt or try to push for sympathy to get free art as it's just not nice. This is just a bit of the insanity that I've been sent over the past few weeks from more then enough people to spark my concern. o.o

In short, please don't be super creepy or rood when chating with me or with anyone else. =P Take the time to get to know them and if you share an interest then you can talk about that sort of stuff if you both want to. I've never had to block anyone and I'd love to keep it that way, so please at least be respectful and don't scare the folf. OuO

Just wondering if there was anything that anyone thought I could do better on in my drawings. It feels like they should be coming out so much better then they are for the time that I put into each one, but whenever I look back over them all I see are all of the mistakes. I try to correct them, but then I just keep finding more and more.

One of the things that constantly gets me feeling down is the thought that I'm being inadequate as an artist, so I thought maybe if I can improve just a little bit more it might help. So any tips or advice would be greatly welcome ^_^

Having trouble getting into a coloring mood, so does anyone have any doodle ideas they want to share and maybe have a lil folf sketch OuO

Still trying to get motivated to do anything but sleep. I know that I promised a couple of you that I would work on drawings for you, and I still would love to, but I'm still having trouble getting myself to work on anything. Just wanted to give you all a quick update on progress, or the lack of it that is. I don't want anyone getting to be too much of a grumble butt for me not being productive without saying anything ^///^;

And if anyone thinks this is me just being lazy, I'd say it's really the opposite. With all the stuff I've been helping my parents with, they decided to get me Dark Souls 3 and I've still barely even touched it :I Being that the first is my favorite game ever and I've probably pumped over two thousand hours into the souls games and blood borne combined, it just feels awful that I can't even get myself to pick up the controller and go exploring in the new one which looks so awesome. I think I somehow broked myself ;n;

How do you all get motivated? Music, looking at drawings, games, and even cookies aren't helping to get me moving =P How could a folf stop from being nomed on by the nap time monster all the time?

Since I am still getting notes asking, sorry but until I can work my way out of this depressed slump that I've slid into it seems like forever ago, I cannot be sure that I can create drawings in a timely manner, so I wont be accepting anymore commissions. I'm still open to requests as drawing was once one of the only things that could make me feel better. O'O

This isn't based on anything new, just still am struggling a little with energy and mood and stuff, so I don't wanna take money from anyone I can't give my full 100% to. ^///^;

I know that frowns can spread faster then smiles if you let them, so I've decided that instead of trying to dig a hole and hide until my emotions take control like that, I should try to be a little more open this year. Thanks to everyone who tried to clam me down; I'm really sorry if I upset you at all. I'm a little sick so I haven't managed to read all the things that were said, but from what I did manage to get though, I can say that you are all way too sweet to me. I really do appreciate all the support and I'll be back on when I feel a bit better physically

You ever feel like there's no point in trying anymore? It's been a while since I've had the drive to do anything and it just makes it all feel so hopeless. Before the holidays I worked so hard at decorating and cleaning that I actually covered my hands with blisters and in return I got back handed by my brother, for little more reason then he felt like it, and enlightened to the fact that unless there is a pay check involved you are doing virtually nothing. Combine this with the fact that it feels impossible to get commissions or even requests on here anymore without begging for them as I haven't really had more then a small handful for a while, but with so many new and amazing artists popping up every day, I can see why I'd be overlooked. To tell the truth, I've doubted that my drawings even do anything to brighten anyone's day except for maybe some of my closest friends. I can tell that people are just being nice when so many that turn around and post every pic they get will often not even download mine when I give them a link to DA. Just give a few friendly words of thanks which are likely a forced bit of common courtesy and nothing more.

Maybe my family is right and material value is the only thing that matters to most, maybe I'm just an idiot for thinking things could be any other way. Maybe I'm just somewhat broken as I really couldn't give a damn about money as long as I have all I need for necessities. I just wonder, do I hold any value to this world? Would things be better if the resources I consume went to someone more talented or skillful in almost anyway. Often, I just want it all to be over, but I know I'm too much of a coward to do anything, so I'm completely lost as to what to do. Is this really the world we live in?

I'm tired of being made into a joke cus I know more about fantasy worlds from things like Dark Souls and Lord of The Rings then events from the civil war. I'm annoyed with being ignored since I don't follow football or NASCAR or listen to country music. I've come to hate living in a house were the dogs are treated with more respect then me. What I'm most tired of is getting the good Christan way of saying fuck off when I ask for help and only get told that things will work out how god has planed it. What I really wish is I could say this all to my family, but I wouldn't get more then a few sentences out with out being silenced for making people feel bad.

Why am I posting this? Cus I needed a moment more to cry and whine, but my pillow was getting a bit too soggy. Good night now, and if you read this far, then I'm really sorry and I hope you have a really good day.

I hoped on here and saw all the nice birthday wishes and just wanna say thanks to everyone; you all always make me feel so special ^_^ I wanna give you all hugs and puppy kiss for being so sweet <3

My birthday has been fun so far, got the new Fallout as a gift and I've been playing it all day and it is awesome! And they made the lasers, which was always my favorite part of Fallout, so pretty, so I'm enjoying that a lot. And I also got yummy chocolate chocolate mousse my mom made that had crushed up Oreos in it so it's been a yummy day too! :D

Anyway, lots of love to you all for always being so super nice and I hope your day has been great too :3

This is for those who keep trying to get me to open up some and talk about what I'm feeling when I'm down. Don't read if you're not one of them, cus it's just a lot of pointless complaining. Even those who've asked don't have to read if you don't want to, since just putting stuff like this out there can sometimes help someone feel a little better. I could never say anything that I am really feeling like this one on one, cus I can't bring myself to talk about me too much in a conversation out of fear of boring or upsetting anyone I'm talking to, but you still deserve an answer for asking.


Why does it feel like everyone is always lying to me?

My mom always tries to tell me that I try to do too much, but all I am doing is simple chores around the house and playing as the worlds most worthless gardener or handyman whose physical abilities are pathetic at best.

In school my teachers always told me that I was doing wonderfully and that they thought I had a lot of potential, but I finished not long ago with a GPA that falls just below even the minimum for attending pharmacy school. No one wants someone who puts in full effort for average results.

People always tell me that I seem to be really good at taking care of plants and animals, but not a single plant I grew this year bore even one edible fruit, and if I did not have help with taking care of all the animals around here, eventually my horrible memory would cause me to forget something they need.

Some even tell me that it can be fun talking to me, it is so hard to talk that only one in 50 messages I type up actually get sent. If I sent all of them, would they still think the same? If our conversations were verbal, I would probably be the same as when I talk to my family; short and to the point so I'm not wasting too much of your time, only speaking when the conversation is directed my way, and filled with awkward silence when I am unsure if saying too much or something wrong will lead to something being thrown at me or getting hit or pushed around like when I talk to my brothers.

On here lots of you always tells me my drawings look good, but if you look around at any other artist on here you can see amazing pictures which used to inspire me, but after I started taking commissions they just seem to demoralize me. I see what can be accomplished by an artist who is actually competent and capable, and all I can think is that I'm stealing from anyone who does commission me and giving them sub-par results.

There are even people who tell me that I'm nice and caring, but I can't figure out if I do things because I care for everyone else or because I hate me enough to see everyone else as being more deserving of love then me. Would I do things differently if I did like who I am? I really hope not, but I really don't want to hate myself anymore. How do I fix one without offsetting the other?

I don't know if everyone is just trying to be nice or if they really do see me how they say, but I don't really want to live as a facade. How do I become the person everyone always tells me I am, instead of just this worthless incompetent creature that is only good at putting on a mask for others?


With that finished, I am disabling comments, cus I don't want virtual hugs and sympathy. I don't even want a response to tell the truth since that normally just makes me feel worse, cus I do not want or deserve the attention. Just don't want to leave a fairly commonly asked question unanswered. I'm going to leave this up as long as I can, with any luck social anxiety wont force me to pull it down right away. If you've read this far, then thank you and sorry for the depressed ranting stupid blehness stuff.

Give me a fun idea to draw and a ref below, if I like it' I'll sketch it when I can :3

Fun sketches help keep me from getting too depressed, so give me a fun reason to stop sleeping my spare time away while getting a digital sketch out of it at the same time! ^_^

Finally giving this a try; I'm super scared, but I also really want to get more involved in this community, so I'm going to give it my best!

For this first round of commissions, I will open three slots for anyone interested. If this all goes well I'll open more in the future. Send me a note if you want a slot.

Here is my new price sheet if you are curious about prices http://www.furaffinity.net/view/17658130/

Still not sure how to work paypal yet, but I'm trying to figure it out. If anyone is willing to help I'd be very grateful O:

So my mom said she might help me get a paypal tomorrow so that I can start taking drawing commissions! I have already made a price sheet which I'll post when I start, but I wanted to see first if anyone would even be interested in commissions from a lil folf if I did do them ^///^;

Sadly not a drawing one, but I can still use it to draw with some of the apps on it. It's my first tablet, so I'm being an excited folf! My fingers are a lil big and the stylus I have is balky and stops working randomly, so I was wondering if anyone might be able to point me towards any fairly priced fine tipped stylus that I might be able to use with a kindle fire. That and any drawing apps which might be good to try? My mom wont let me buy any apps, but I did find some interesting looking free ones if not :3

Since nobody was interested in trades when I asked on my last submission, how about just giving me some fun ideas for stuff to draw instead? I really wanna get back into drawing something other then my own characters and stop feeling bleh, so feel free to comment and I'll see it tomorrow when I get on and pick any that sound fun to try ^_^

Just a bit of rambling, skip if ya want; I just needed do something to keep myself from going bonkers; even if no one reads it, it might help some just to write it O:

Sorry I haven't been posting much, haven't really felt like drawing much lately. Where I normally draw random pics and post them as gifts through my DA scraps, a trend has been developing lately which makes me feel like a butt for even trying to do random gift drawings. The past few times I've done this on FA or skype, other then a few friendly people, the person I draw the sketch for pretty much tells me that my sketches aren't good enough unless they're colored, and that takes so many hours to do that I lose interest if I try to color a lot of pics. It's just so confusing, a gift is suppose to be like a random bonus thing; I may not be the most knowledgeable when it comes to figuring out people, but I don't think they should make ya mad cus you could have had more if I was willing put more effort into it.

It's like just a random burst of self centered attitudes have infected people so that they feel a gift is good, but ya could always make it better. Now I know that my simple sketches are a bit weak when compared to most other artists, but that still just feels wrong. Combine that with the nonstop flow of depressing news no matter what way I look and I gotta ask, is there anything good going on in the world at the moment? Anything at all? A bit of cheer would be greatly appreciated.

As a side note, sorry to everyone I have on skype, but I give up on using it; no one really wants to talk it seems as it always turns into two hours of them talking about things that make them mad or sad and then asking me if I'd draw something to cheer them up; not the worst thing, but not great for me when I'm feeling down too; especially when added to the anxiety that already comes with tying to chat one on one O///O;

Hoping I can get my motivation back soon, sorry for talking about me so much; I know that lots of ya are going through a crisis or two that is a lot worse then anything this lil folf has to deal with. I just felt like complaining a bit in a place where I wont be teased or pestered for breaking the slightly robotic norm of yes sir no sir.

I've had a few of ya tell me that the way I draw baby furs are wrong cus they are too small and chibi like, though I'm not really sure I would say wrong is the right word since there is no real wrong when it comes to things from your imagination, but I was wondering if the way I draw older kids is more fitting for lil babies then what I normally draw by all your perspectives. I think that my shorter pudgier way makes characters look like they're really lil and still have baby fat and stuff like that, but then there are artists who I always love to see pics from which draw baby fur in a way that looks like they have the proportions of anywhere from six to twelve year old kids in my eyes. So my question to all of you is which one do you like better? Should I try switching to drawing taller and thinner characters like the first link below or stay with short and pudgy like the second?

First Pic: Taller thinner folf
Second Pic: Smaller pudgier folf

Any help for a confused lil folf would be appreciated greatly O:

Sorta sinking down into depressed folf land again, so I wanna draw some stuff to counter it. Give me some fun ideas and if they can get me excited about doodling, I'll try sketching them for ya :3 Also, WOOFFLES! O:

I normally put out a journal asking who wants to be drawn randomly over the semester after classes start, but I had the idea to just randomly pick people from my watcher list with my eyes closed instead this time to cut down on the notes from people asking if I forgot them, and me feeling bad, cus I never manage to finish the entire list ^///^; There is also the fact that random surprises make things a lot more fun! >u>

Just wanted to ask if there was anyone against being drawn by me before I give it a shot later on, so I don't make ya a grumpy butt with surprise stuff O:

Also, new icon! The old one was on there for way too long, so here's a fun new one OuO

And cus I still feel like typing some... SNOW!!!! Finally got to play in it some; I might have been shoveling it, but I made a mini snow man with the shovel, so it counts! I love snow so much, cus everything is so fun and looks so pretty with it! But the cold with it is evil :I Haven't stopped shivering in days cus of it. Burrrr >.<

And... words! and more words! and paci random face ^(O)^ and I need to stop eating leftover Valentine's day candy and go to bed and... Wooffles :3

Before I say anything else, let me say that suicide is a very serious thing; if you are feeling so low that it feels like it is becoming an option then seek help and not from a random stranger and fool on the internet like me. No matter what you think it is never worth it, and it hurts more then just you and it hurts them a lot more then you think it does.

So many people that come to talk to me normally eventually send me a suicide note with reasons that amount to them not being as popular as they want to be... Or I'm not willing to fulfill their every command so that must mean that I hate them right? And if a single person hates you that means you should tell them you want to kill yourself to try and make them feel like an ass and gain their sympathy right? 8D Truth is, the majority of you who say this probably live a more pampered life then most others. For example, do you have clean water? Can you at least eat one good meal in a day? Do you have electricity in your home? Well guess what; you're living with a hell of a lot more then many other people on this planet have.

I almost did something to myself once because I was afraid that I would never be anything but a burden upon anyone around me, and that I would never be about to do for them all the things they help me with but I worked my way out of it, and found that when there are barriers there are ways to overcome them or subvert them so that I could still be useful to people. Because of this I know what it feels like to reach that low point and nothing can make me angrier faster then to see people throw around hollow suicide threats yet people still seem to love to do it with messages to me.

It makes me wonder, do I do something to pull this out of people? Even my IRL brother has been doing it. Is it common for people just to seek love through guilt? I've avoided trying to get close to anyone until I started interacting with others online here, so I don't rightly know, but you are a horrible person in my mind if you feel you have to use guilt to get attention. Especially with such a serious topic as suicide.

With the serious stuff said, there is also the problem with people getting extremely angry if I don't agree to do for them everything they want when I don't want to. If it says I don't draw porn on my page then don't ask for porn. When you see my drawings, you should know that if it's not cute and cuddly I don't wanna doodle it. It stress me out enough that I can't be helpful enough to oblige every demand that people make of me. Jabbing at myself because of my inadequacies is something I do regularly, but it's a lot harder to get past when I see my thoughts echoed back at me by others even when I know they're only saying them because they're mad at me.

When I first came here it was because I wanted to find somewhere I can fit into and I have made some amazing friends here, but I am being bombarded by so much negativity from so many others that it is getting harder and harder to paint on a smile. On top of that I have been sick for so damned long with whatever this chest cold that wont go away is and am constantly fighting back my own horrible thoughts as I don't want to pull anyone else down and burden them with my thoughts, despite lots of offers from others willing to listen so no need to offer, I just can't handle doing it. I'm finding it hard to even come online and chat with more then just those who I feel closest to most often because i can never tell when people are going to turn around and show that they are a hateful ass like so many others on here.

I know that a lot of you are amazing and wonderful in your own ways, and I love you so much for it and I really do want to help when things are going sour for you, but I can't do more then be an ear for you. I don't want to have to deny that to the few who do come to me to feel better because I'm too weak hearted to handle a constant stream of pessimism and selfish attention seeking desires.

Anyway, sorry if this brings anyone down as it does me; I hate posting bleh journals... I'm gonna go collapse in bed and clear my mind to shake these feelings, while hoping that some people can learn to grow some common sense.

Xmas Meme
STEP ONE
# Make a post to your journal. The post should contain your list of ten holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a christmas icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV"). The important thing is to make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
# If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) can get in touch with you. Your home address is not required!
# Make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your journal, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.

STEP TWO
# Surf around your friends list (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now, here's the important part...
# If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes one person's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use - or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free - do it.
# You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf - to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not - it's your call. There are no guarantees with this project, and no strings attached. Just... wish, and it might come true. Give and you might receive. You'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.


1) Everyone to be happy and safe this holiday :3

2) To see more smiles and less frowns and grumps =P

3) More giving this holiday :D

4) Free Time :I

5) To Learn how to draw adults well O:

6) Figure out more ways to help my brother when he's feeling down on the low end of being bipolar :c

7) The world to stop being so crazy

8) Everyone helping out each other on fulfilling their wishlists ^_________^

9) To pass my finals O____O

10) Other stuff that I can't think of at the moment, so wooffles! ^///^;

I don't really want anything else; you guys give me a gift year round by just giving me someone to talk to and being fun friends to be goofy with. Mostly posting this cus I wanna help with step two of it; I may not have any money, but that doesn't mean I can't do stuff for others ^_^ Now I'm off to my last presentation before finals, see ya all later O:

Deleted my last journal, decided to keep my new no bleh journals policy, cus no one wants to see something like that, so wooffles and smiles for ya :3 *Gives ya a lil puppy lick and then goes back to bed* =P

I had a lil bit of a long day cus of school, so coming home to all the super nice birthday wishes made me feel so loved <3 You guys are so awesome that you all need hugs and love and puppy kisses and stuff ^____^

It's kinda a personal thing involving a lil bit of random bleeding and I feel a lil weird asking, but I don't know who else to ask that wont ridicule me if it's a dumb question. I wanna know though, is it normal after you use the bathroom to leave a few drops or even soak a few squares of toilet paper in blood?

I'm not sure if I should bother my mom or my doctor with this, and I don't wanna waste their time if it is something normal that happens to people, but I get kinda nauseous when it happens, so I'm kinda worried it's not a good thing o.o

I've been wondering is there anything you guys think I could do to improve my drawings and make them better for you? I really wanna try to draw poses which are less stiff and flow a bit better, but I'm still not fully sure how to do that and I'm still struggling with anatomy =P Also Is there anything else besides that though that you guys wanna see me work on? Any bit of constructive criticism or advice could help ^_^

Also, should I not post sketches and focus on making everything a colored image before posting? That would take much longer between posts, or are you all alright with seeing the sketches too?

Also I've decided not to post depressed stuff in journals anymore, since that stuff seems to actually make me feel worse then help, cus I feel like I'm whining to you all and that's not right. You all are too awesome to have to put up with that! So I'll try my best to be the happy bouncy lil folf that I'm sure you all would rather see O:

If anyone comments, I'll see it tomorrow after I get home from my classes, now on to the evil sleepy dream land! :I