I get a lot of notes that just say hello and I just wanted to let ya know that when I just say hi back and not much else beyond that, I'm not ignoring ya or anything; I just don't know what to say ^///^; I'm probably one of the most socially awkward folfs you'll ever meet, so I'll probably never be able to strike up a conversation like that anyways if that's what you were hoping, cus it's also kind of an awkward way to start O:

In other news... math's a butt :3 Spent the last few days trying to derive equations from a massive one only to learn ya just gotta modify the parameters to cancel out a lot of terms and make it useable; aren't quantum mechanics great =P

And I'm sleepy but can't sleep, even though I should, so wooffles and stuff :I So it's time to stare at the ceiling and listen to music and get lost in daydreamy thoughts.

And... and... I'm out of stuff to talk about, so back to Pandora, cus bed time rebel time! 8D

A handful of ya keep asking to be drawn with some of the more well known members of the community here, and I can never really tell if they're alright with it. I'm always told that it's suppose to be a gift, and the poses are always clean ones, and I don't wanna spoil a surprise; at the same time I don't wanna do something with someone else's character that they potentially might not like. With a lot of people deciding that they don't wanna be drawn without their direct approval, is it wrong to fulfill the previous request?

Also, I wanted to ask if my drawing style is at all unique or not? I often finish drawings and look them over at the end and notice bits and pieces that remind me of lil things that I see other artists do, and I saw a discussion on here earlier that made me wonder if I'm doing something I shouldn't with my drawings. I'm might just be being paranoid though, but I really don't wanna be upsetting someone and not know it. I have family members who'll give me a bonk on the head and stuff like that if I do anything they don't like, so don't worry about hurting me if you see anything you want to point out, cus words can't hurt ya too much.

Thanks if ya reply ^_^ I'll see what ya say tomorrow, cus I gotta go to bed and get ready for lab tomorrow. Testing how sound effects molecular movement and vibration, and there's a lot of equations for that stuff that can spell out weird messages for ya if you're too sleepy to use them right ^///^; YAY SCIENCE and BOO to nap times! O:

Nothing really important here, so please don't feel obligated to read O:

I'm really sorry for being so distant lately; I've been feeling kinda out of place everywhere I go, which I know is completely insane on here at least, cus you all are always so welcoming. I've come to the realization recently that I really just don't understand people in general. It's so hard to tell when anyone is being honest or lying to me most of the time. IRL I dropped my normal how may I assist you attitude and tried to talk to my mom about how I was feeling about some random topic for a moment and she was angry acting like I was just an awful hateful person for the rest of the day and playing the victim. She is always saying how I can talk to her about anything if I felt I needed to, which was apparently meant to be just a false comfort. It just makes me wonder how you all put up with me and aren't trying to silence me before I even start sharing anything with ya since it's apparently a fairly horrible thing for me to be open.

Anyway, I keep trying to come back and chat with some of ya, but it keeps feeling harder and harder to. I can never tell if the kind greetings are from everyone I talk to being so nice or it's them just fulfilling social protocol. Over the past few years, just having someone to chat with has made me so happy though I'm not the most chatty folf. I just wanted to say that if any of you listen to me cus you're being nice, you don't have to and can tell me to go away; I really don't mind it. I'm sort of used to it by this point.

Also, I'm really not looking for attention and don't need a pep talk, just haven't been feeling great for a while now and sometimes everyone needs to let some of what their feeling out no matter what, cus keeping everything inside is unhealthy. I could just yell it into a pillow like I used to, but this way I at least feel like I'm talking to someone else and not going completely coo coo.

Thank you all for being so great to me over the time I've been here; it's impossible for me to express how much you've helped me since I joined just by being yourselves and letting me tag along.

School is starting soon, and since I wont have time for full requests, I'm gonna try what I did the last few semesters and ask who would be willing to give me the ok to sketch them when I have some free time? You can give suggestion for ideas like pose and stuff, but you don't have to; all I need is a ref posted below and then to get inspired sometime over the fall semester and I might pick you to sketch.

I would just start just drawing random gifts, but so many people say they don't want to be drawn without their direct permission and scardy folf can never manage to ask anyone cus... well it's awkward and scary asking anyone things really ^///^;

If a lot of people comment, most of these will likely be sketches, but I'll try to color and even shade some of them. Though my last two colored pics got about the same amount of attention as my ordinary sketches, so I've been wondering if most of you guys like my digital stuff or just watch for the content of the subject itself. If ya don't like my digital stuff, just let me know and I'll leave your pic traditional and not try to play with it in GIMP.

Short version of this: Post a ref below and I might draw ya during the next few months to help keep me from going completely crazy from lab work overload :3

Post your ideas below and I'll pick some to try and draw like with the sketch pages I've been doing :3

Still am not feeling great, and I've been sitting here staring at the ceiling just listening to music for for the last few hours; sketches would give me something to do and maybe help cheer me up some, so thanks to anyone who comments!

Wanted to get a new journal on my page and this seems like a fun way to do it :3

RL Name: Chris
Nickname: Erin
Location: Maryland
Age: 24
Height:5'5"
Zodiac sign: Libra
Any pets: Three doggies, a turtle, and an evil lil birdy that looks like he wants to eat me at the moment o.o
Favorite thing about yourself: Randomness? It's hard to get me to want to talk, but the conversation could go anywhere when I do most of the time :3
Worst habit: I bite my nails when I'm nervous, and I get nervous a lot ^///^;
Fun fact: Dirt does not tasty good even if you make it into a pie! Also, I like to grow things and have one tomato plant that's taller then me at the moment! O:

--Identity, Sexuality & Personality--

Gender identity: Male
Sexual preference: Asexual? Bi? I don't know... Maybe bi with a REALLY low desire in that manner O///O
Romantic preference: Sweet and compassionate
"Kinsey Scale" score: Don't know what this is even o.o
Relationship status: Wooffles O:
Hogwarts house: It's been a while since I read Harry Potter books, but I'm clumsy and a bit nerdy, so would that be Raven Claw or Hufflepuff? I'm not sure =P

--Routine--

"Early Bird" or "Night Owl": Both? I avoid sleep when I can and can just spring up quick and easy in the morning ^///^;
Bath or shower: Shower most days; bath if I have time to soak in stuff to help my eczema
First thought in the morning: Depends on if I remember the dream that I was having last night; otherwise it's normally either "Please don't let someone be in the bathroom," or "COFFEE" 8D
Last thought before falling asleep at night: Umm... please don't let my lil doggy Maggie sit on my face while I'm sleeping >.<

--School/Work--

Do you work or are you a student: One more semester and I'll have a chemistry degree! \O/
What do you do well: I'm good at growing things and most animals really seem quick to like me :3
Where do you see yourself in 5 years: So many places I can't list them all, but I have no clue which one will be true if any of them 0.0

--Habits (Do you…?)--

Drink: Yucky stuff =P
Smoke: I'd be dead if I did, cus asthma :I
Do Drugs: Only take stuff my doctor gives me and stuff like that
Exercise: I like hiking, but should really do it more often ^///^;
Have a go-to comfort food: Cookies!!! ^__________^
Have a nervous habit: I'm squirmy and I nibble my nails >.<

--What is your favorite…?--

Physical quality (in yourself): I can't pick anything without feeling slightly vain >.<
In Others: Eyes! So pretty and they can say a lot about a person without them even knowing it O:
Mental/emotional quality (in yourself)?: I can smile even when I feel like a butt most of the time, so no one else can see a problem. Frowns can be contagious, this stops that :3
Food: Can I say cookies again O: Oreos! <3
Drink: Coffee or Sprite
Animal: There's too many awesome ones to pick one
Artist/Band/Group: Three Doors Down, Rise against, Skillet, Evans Blue, Five Finger Death Puch so many good bands it's hard to pick a favorite =P
Author/Poet: Dan Brown
TV Show: Umm... Walking Dead? I only watch tv when my brothers make me really ^///^;
Actor/Actress: That person who did that thingy with that other person that one time O:
Blogger: I don't think I've ever really read any blog for longer then a few seconds O.O?

All done! Thanks for reading; you deserve a cookie! ^_^ Unless you're a meanie butt =P cus then you deserve a porcupine to sneak up on you who is very fond of hugging butts O: Nini now; sleepy folf is gonna go to bed :3

Not feeling my best and haven't been for a while, and no one likes to see someone when they're feeling down, so I'm gonna vanish for a little bit. I know most of you are watching me for my sketches and drawings, so no worries; I'll come back when I get my head on straight.

Sorry, but all open requests are cancelled at the moment; not like I was making any real progress on them anyway. Please don't be a butt and argue with me about it.

bye for now

Just skip down to the bottom paragraph unless you wanna read a lot of complaining =P

So my idea of requests as gifts for others is dead; I've gotten a bunch of messages after my previous journal that have been saying things like: draw me and my friend as a gift to them; the idea for the pic though has the person asking as pretty much the center piece of the entire thing and their friend in a supporting role, but hey it's still suppose to be a gift for their friend 8D

What's wrong with everyone :I Why can't anybody even give a gift without it being all about them still! I'm just gonna say the hell with it all and give only gifts from now on. Congratulations! You've shown me how truly naive I am; if you offer anything most people are never satisfied they never think beyond their own little bubble of me me me.

Why do something for you're friends? Well, the consensus seems to be because they'll like me better if I do it! Not because it'll make them feel good, but because it'll make you feel good, and that seems to be what it's all about right?

I try to think in terms of altruism most of the time, for it just makes sense to me. There's a lot of people out there I can help more then myself, so why focus my energy on me? Why even speak in terms of me and I when it comes to want? Because people look at you cross eyed otherwise; they tell you to shut you mouth before you even open it. Anything different is wrong to most; anything that does not fit into the way they think is just an obstacle that needs removed. And I give up with ever trying to change that in anyone.

So, in short, I may may not be the most creative when it comes to coming up with ideas myself, but I'll just try that from now on. I'll give gifts still, but no more requests for anyone but friends, because of the mentality that forces people to take and take and take which just builds on the sense of entitlement everyone seems to have. I now fully understand why most artists have decided that they will never take requests.

I decided I will still do requests, but Crunchy gave me an idea with the last pic I drew. All requests from now on will only be taken if they are a gift for someone else. I will still take ordinary ones sometimes if you have a really good idea that I'll wanna draw or are a close friend, but by doing things this way, I hope it's much less likely that I'll have to argue with the self absorbed types who tend to make me feel like a butt who's only here to serve them 8D

I've been asked many times why I do requests for free instead of asking for money, and I always respond that I get payed with the fun that I have drawing it ^_^ When someone is being awful and overbearing when I work, it drains all the fun out of it, so this should help I think. :3

I'll still finish the three I said I'd do, but I'm not really feeling right at the moment and having trouble doing anything really. I've been running on the mindset that I'm beneath everyone I speak to for a while now, and I need to get out of that, but some of the people who make requests aren't helping with it. Most of you I love how awesome and kind you are <3 but some are different. Some tend to treat me like I'm trash and act like I should feel privileged to even have them come to speak to me... X.X

I love trying to make people happy, but sometimes I wish people wouldn't go as far as they do with what they ask; it says on my page I don't draw porn, so stop asking for dirty things like that :I Also, show at least a little respect to someone who says their willing to help you with something; don't finish asking me to work on something and ask for something else before I even finish that pic, even after I wrote my one pic at a time rule on my page. Also, don't tell me to remember the idea for you so you can ask again later when I'm open for it again; that just ends up pissing me off, cus I turn into your personal drawing machine at that point, and I am not gonna take that type of treatment anymore. It happens way too often with a couple of people who've talked to me.

I do love to see when someone asks for a gift for someone else though; it can really lift my spirit, cus it reminds me that there's more awesome people on here then just those few butts! \O/

I might do requests again at one point, but I'll probably do a few trades before then. Sorry if that upsets you, but I can't keep going as I have been without eventually doing something stupid to myself. o.o

Sort of afraid to do this with all the people that keep asking when I'll re-open, but I'm taking requests again :3

These will be different then in the past. I will draw a sketch for ya and I will pick which ones I color. Please don't argue with me if I don't want to color your pic; also please don't try to guilt me, cus both of these has happen before O:

Sorry for not getting the trades from last week done yet; my computer died yesterday and I haven't been able to get back on until now =P It's finals week too, so that's a day of final lab report work needing redone @_@ A lil too sick from allergies to get any work done tonight though :I I promise that over this week I will try my best to have a sketch done for the two of ya that are still waiting for trades :3

Anyway, I have been wondering if there's any artist anyone would recommend watching? A lot of the ones I've been seeing over the past few weeks have a really fun cartoon style, or just draw things that look awesome, and then I go to their gallery to see that the rest of it is filled with pictures of REALLY BIG wee wees or who whos o.o

Anyone interesting in trying something like I mention a few months ago? Where we draw a sketch for one another, like an ordinary trade, and then swap and line and color each other's sketch :3

I think it would be fun and a good way to learn something new about the way we draw ^_^
If you're interested, leave a comment below; I don't have a lot of time to draw this week, but I have some right now, and want something to doodle ^///^

If I don't give ya a poke back this weekend, I may have a lot more time next weekend and plan on trying to get back into drawing stuff again ^_______^

These do not have to be traditional sketches; you can work in whatever medium you're most comfortable with. 8D

I've been feeling so tired lately, and I don't know why... Every time I go to pick up my pencil and draw something, my body tells me to go to sleep instead. =P I can't think straight well enough to reply to anyone's messages right now, but I'll try to in the morning.

I'm gonna make this a sketch journal though, so post an idea for a sketch you might want to see and I might try it out. Any ideas that can distract my mind long enough to get it to stop screaming it's hatred at me would help. Silence is not being my friend at the moment =P

Thanks in advance to anyone who comments ^_^

Wanted to get that BIG meme off my page, and thought this might be fun ^_^

I've never done one of these before, cus I'm a lil scaredy folf, but wooffles to fear :P If there's anything ya might wanna know about this lil folf, ask away! I'll answer what I can and come up with odd fun stuff for the rest after school's done today 8D

Gonna try another meme thingy, cus why not =P

Start with 100% and subtract 1% for everything that you've done.

100%

( ) Smoked.
( ) Drank alcohol.
(x) Cried when someone died.
( ) Been drunk.
( ) Had sex.
(x) Been to a concert.
( ) given a handjob.
( ) gotten a handjob.
( ) given a blowjob.
( ) gotten a blowjob.
( ) Been verbally/sexually harassed.
( ) Verbally/sexually harassed somebody.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 98%

( ) Felt someone up and/or been felt up.
( ) Laughed so hard something came out of your nose.
( ) Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend before.
( ) Been cheated on by a boyfriend/girlfriend.
( ) Been to prom.
(x) Cried at school.
(x) Gotten lost in a WalMart or a department store.
( ) Went streaking.
( ) Given or received a lap dance.
(x) Had someone of the opposite/same sex in your room. (My puppy sleeps on my legs and family come in and out; do they count? =P)

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 95%

( ) Had someone of the opposite sex sleep over.
( ) Slept over at someone of the same sex's house.
( ) Kissed a stranger.
( ) Hugged a stranger.
( ) Went scuba diving.
(x) Driven a car.
(x) Gotten an x-ray.
( ) Hit by a car.
( ) Had a party
( ) Done serious drugs.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 93%

( ) Played strip poker/darts.
( ) Got paid to strip for someone.
( ) Run away from home.
(x) Broken a bone. (My toe has broke twice and I've fractured my foot)
( ) Eaten sushi.
( ) Bought porn.
( ) Watched porn.
( ) Made porn.
( ) Had a crush on someone of the same sex.
( ) Been in love.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 92%

( ) Made out.
(x) Laughed so hard you cried.
(x) Cried yourself to sleep.
( ) Laughed yourself to sleep.
(x) Stabbed yourself.
( ) Shot a gun
( ) Trash talked someone and then acted like their best friend the next day.
(x) Been online for 9 consecutive hours.
( ) Watched TV for 9 consecutive hours.
(x) Watched an animal die.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 87%

( ) Watched a person die.
( ) Kissed and/or messed around somewhere with at least 1 person.
( ) Pranked somebody.
( ) Put somebody in the hospital.
( ) Snuck into someone's room and/or our own room after being out.
( ) Kissed somebody of the same sex.
( ) Dressed punk.
( ) Dressed goth.
( ) Dressed preppy.
( ) Been to a motocross race.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 87%

(x) Avoided somebody.
( ) Been stalked.
( ) Stalked someone.
( ) Met a celebrity.
( ) Ridden a horse.
(x) Cut yourself.
( ) Bungee jumped.
( ) Ding dong ditched somebody.
( ) Been to a wild party.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 85%

( ) Got caught stealing something.
(x) Kicked/punched a guy in the balls. (I have brothers, you can't have brothers and not do this at one point =P)
( ) Stolen a boyfriend/girlfriend from a friend.
( ) Gone out with your friend's crush.
( ) Got arrested.
( ) Been pregnant.
( ) Made a girl pregnant.
( ) Babysat.
( ) Been to another country.
( ) Started your house on fire.
( ) Had an encounter with a ghost.

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 84%

( ) Donated your hair to cancer patients.
( ) Been asked out by someone that you never thought you'd be asked out by.
( ) Cried over a member of the opposite/same sex.
( ) Had a boyfriend/girlfriend for over 3 months.
(x) Sat on your butt all day. Everyone has at one point even if it's just when they were babies =P)
( ) Ate a whole carton of ice cream all by yourself.
( ) Had a job.
( ) Gotten cut from a sports team.
( ) Been called a whore.
( ) Danced like a whore

PERCENTAGE SO FAR: 83%

( ) Been mistaken as older than your own age.
( ) Been in a car accident.
( ) Been told you have beautiful eyes.
( ) Been told you have beautiful hair.
( ) Raped somebody.
( ) Danced in the rain.
( ) Been rejected.
( ) Walked out of a restaurant without paying.
(x) Punched someone/slapped someone in the face. (Hated myself for weeks afterwards 8D)
( ) Been raped.

FINAL PERCENTAGE: 82%

Hmm... I think I need to learn to do more stuff O: I always score low on these things X3

I had an idea that I thought might be fun, and I wanted to see if anyone else thought so too. This wouldn't be happening soon; maybe in the spring or over the summer if anyone likes it, but I wanted to see what you all thought :3

Would anyone eventually be interested in a trade sort of thing where both of us draw a sketch for one another like any other trade and then exchange the sketches to line and color each others sketch? It would be like a trade and a collab all in one! O:

I think it would be a great way to learn some new stuff about drawing by seeing the differences between this and in how our pictures look when we normally finish them ourselves ^_^

What'cha all think? O.O?

I made an account for pics that people have drawn for me  Clover_Pics, cus I felt bad that I never post some of the pics by some really sweet and awesome artists, and it's wrong not to give them some special attention for being so nice to me. ^_^

If ya drew me something and it's alright with ya can I show off your work with credit given?

I gotta go around and give a few people a poke to ask them if they're alright with their pics being re-posted, but I'll start doing that and putting some stuff on there tomorrow :3

Thank you all so much <3

I didn't expect to get any comments on the last personal picture I did, but so many of you said so many nice thing; you are all so nice and awesome

You don't have to worry about me though; I can think all the stuff on that page and still keep a smile :3 All of that only creeps into my head when things start to get too quiet, so as long as I keep busy, they don't bother me.

I love you all, and you guys make me feel so special; I don't know any better way to say it then thank you but thanks everyone for being so amazing <3

Bored folf is looking for something to do =P

I'm looking for fun ideas to sketch, so if you post any of your ideas below I might give them a try and sketch them for some fun! ^_^

I've gotten two people already trying to tell me how horrible they're life is and how they think they should kill themselves, cus I said no to their request and we're only five days into December... I don't say no a lot, but when ya ask for me to write a script and draw a comic given a character ref, or a ten character group pic given a bunch a refs so you can give it to your friends as a Christmas gift and feel like a big shot... I just can't do it; I don't have the time or energy to be able to... >.<

Why is it that greed and materialism seems to be at its peak during this time of the year... it's suppose to be the time for giving and caring about others. Everyone should be thinking about what you can do for those around you and those you love.

The holiday spirit seems to have turned into give me all I can get and fuck the rest of ya... This is one of the last havens I have where the good deeds of others can be seen regularly, because so many of you are so amazing with your kindness, and it helps to restore those tiny lil shreds of hope I have in people, but then there are also those who seem like their ego is the only thing worth caring about.

So, if anyone else wants to try and steal a lil bit more holiday cheer from me, keep trying to guilt me, cus I've about given up on caring 8D

Happy Holidays to those of you whose love reaches farther then your own desires; keep being awesome :3

I've been wondering is there is anything you all wanna see more of in my drawings? Or is there anything that I can improve on? O.O?

A lot of you say I've improved a lot, and I wanna keep that up for you all, so don't be afraid to tell me if something seems a lil off in my pics :3

I've almost reached 250 submissions, and I wanted to draw something special for the 250th, so is there any pics I've done before that you think I should try redoing? O.O?

I was feeling so horrible to the point of wanting to cry; then I logged on here and saw all the nice birthday wishes and a few awesome gifts and they really did make me cry, but in a good way ;v;

Thank you all so much; you've made me feel so special X3 You all need hugs and cookies and lots of love and puppy kisses and... and... WOOFFLES <3 ^_____^

I learned something this week! O: Having so much work to do that you start sleeping only three to five hours a night to get it all done is unhealthy and can make ya batty 8D

So I had to drop out of a class to free up some time for everything I needed to get done. It feels like I'm quitting and I hate not finishing things I start so I feel a lil crummy... like a biscuit... that might have gotten sat on, so now it's a butt biscuit :I

Anyway, I'm mainly saying this, cus not all the time I freed up is needed, so I have some time that I can start doing some more digital pics again :3 So a lil YAY \O/ comes with a lot of bleh =P