. . . yeah..

So, I'm kinda bad at making myself do things I need/should do. I get anxious about situations and, sometimes just sorta shut down.
I don't /mean/ to ghost people but, nerves and stuff.

This is one of the things I want to overcome this year though, one of the things I'm working myself towards overcoming.
Despite not posting much over here, or really posting anything over here, I haven't been entirely inactive. I am working
on projects in the background and I do share some of what I'm working on elsewhere, I just been anxious about some of
the work I'd taken on over here, and I apologize for the radio-silence. It's not professional, it's not even remotely okay.

I worry that my illustration work isn't good enough, that I haven't had enough practice, that I can't fulfill someone else's
vision well enough that, I tend to stop before I even start. As bad as I feel my "artistic" abilities are, my communication
skills are even worse off.

This, needs, to, change.

So, before I ramble on too long and get lost in my thoughts, let's lay this out.

1: If you've requested work from me in the past, please message me about it. I do know of a few req. that I been sitting on
but I'm sure there's some that I've forgotten. In fact, betteryet, make it a note on this journal please. Maybe a publicly
available list of work-due will light that much needed fire under my ass.
2: If you aren't already aware, I have been uploading a bit of my more recent stuff on e621. Just look for "ev1lp1nk1" or
the name I'm trying to go under moreso now is "Jamie_Bun"
3: While I'm taking the time to build up some more works, I'm hoping to start up a new account over here soon-ish. Partially
because I want a fresh start (better curated gallery of work to show current abilities) I have no intention of wiping this
account, but it will go completely quiet eventually, and I will ensure to leave notice of what account you can find me at.

4: I, don't really know what else. Last couple of weeks I been trying to draw a little every day, just to say I did /something/
but I desperately need to figure out some sort of schedule or methodology to force myself into taking this seriously.
I'm done lying to myself. I /know/ I can draw, I /know/ I can be creative, I /KNOW/ I can handle talking to others in a
professional manner; I just need to figure out how to get myself in the required headspace to do it on the regular.
Until I get all that sorted though, I just ask everyone to please bear with me.

I want to make this happen, more than ever now. I know what I need to do, I just need to do it. So, yeah. Guess that's all
I have to say for now. That and, thanks for putting up with me.

All the love and affection.
Ev1lp1nk1
aka
Jamie

Yeah, been a while since I made one of these.
Truth be told, I don't much care for writing journals.
I tend to ignore most of the ones I see on my feed
and as a result I just assume most others are going to
ignore any that I make as well.

(bunny is bad at communicating. T~T)

~A~N~Y~W~A~Y~S~

Onto the actual meat'n'two-veg of this.
Went to my second ever Con a couple of weeks ago,
Stratosfur, and spent a good bit of time just drawing.
Traditional pencil/pen on paper stuff, nothing special.
It did /wonders/ for my self-esteem though.

(is it weird to say that, it means more to
me when complete strangers like my work
and less so my close friends? T~T)

As a result I've been feeling far more amped about
drawing on the whole, and I seriously want to start
offering commissions. For real this time! I'm still working
on building a TOS and I'll hafta set up invoices on my
PayPal (should see if googlepay has something similar)
but I'm super excited about it.

I've been slowly/not-so-slowly trying to build up
a better body of work lately to better advertise my
abilities to this point, and I'm thinking of asking 25-30 USD
for inked/colored w/basic BG, but I'm open to suggestions
and recomendations if I should go lower or higher.

~T.L.D.R.~GIT~ON~WIT~IT!!!!~
I'm offering simple ink/color comissions.
25-30 USD each. (price negotiable)




okay, that's all I wanted to say. ~Ciao~
p.s. I haz a twitter where I'll be posting a lot of things too.
https://twitter.com/EvilPinki if you wanna check it out.

We has it. And with that, all is well again~

We're finally back up to speed here. Things are still a mess but that's mostly just laziness. Gonna spend some time wednesday and thursday this week getting everything cleaned up as best we can (no vacuum xp) and maybe even get back to doing some cooking! :D

Till next time folks. Love love~<3

So, situation with the appartment is slowly being worked out. Because of the damage to our place (and pretty much every apartment on the bottom floor) they decided it best to terminate our lease agreement. No extra charges on our part, no back rent, just ending our lease so we can move to somewhere dry. Speaking of which... we are well on our way to signing a new lease for a room on the second story (trading our pool front for a balcony) we won't be able to sign until tuesday because of weekend and laborday, but lasthaven and I have managed to get monday and tuesday off together so we can move our stuff out of the old place and into the new as soon as possible.

Other news, my laptop is doing fine. Powerbrick died but there was no shorting on the laptop plug end. Got a new brick, and my lappy is charging and running just fine. ^^
Lasthaven's desktop also survived handily! Thankfully the tower was sitting /just/ high enough to stay out of the water, we hooked it up just today so he could get some information off of it, and it's running just fine (slow, it's an old computer, but it's running as well as it had been x3)

Hopefully I'll be making my next journal entry from the comfort of our own place tuesday/wednesday. Till then

Love you all. <3

So, for those who don't know, :userlasthaven: and I were one of the lucky few to be gifted with indoor swimming pools courtesy of hurricane Harvey. We're okay, we rode the storm out with lasthaven's folks, but our appartment didn't fare as well. Thankfully we only got about 6 inches in our place sunday, and as of today (wednesday) there is already maintenence crews at the complex fixing things up. Sheetrock and carpet have already been pulled, we snagged what we deemed valuble just the day before. The only counted casualties so far for us is my laptop power brick. Not sure if the charging circutry on my laptop is fried (we didn't expect to be caught out of our appartment when the storm came, so we hadn't prepared, everything was still plugged in) but we'll find out soon enough once I can find a replacement.

Just to make sure everyone knows, lasthaven and I are both safe and dry. Work's already started back up and we're well on our way back to a regular schedule. I'll keep you updated as things go forward. Till later, Lovelove everyone. <3<3

Yup, gonna do it. Offering commissions this week.

Not entirely sure on my prices yet, but I had a disscussion with a friend on sticker prices. (they want telegram stickers by me ^//^; ) After supposedly "under-selling" myself, they gave me a price that sounds higher than what I should charge. But... maybe they're right. I do tend to be kinda harsh on my works (what artist isn't?) so, offering commissions like this.

All prices are in USD.

-$20 -
B/W single full body character.
- +$10 -
per aditional character
-
+$5
Flat colors.


Not offering shading at this time, but maybe sometime down the road if I feel capable enough to charge for it. I do ask that you reserve payment until /after/ the work is completed and you're satisfied. I'd prefer to not have to deal with refunds. x.x;

. . . guess that's it. Lemme know what you guys think, honestly. If you think I need to drop prices, raise, anything you think I should include, I'm open to any and all suggestions. . . which I will promptly look over at my earliest convenience. . .

*flops on bed and passes dafuk out*

Yeah, old hard drive died. (for all intents and purposes. Been trying to save stuff off of it but it's really slow going)

That said, got a clean slate to start from. Fresh install of windows, got most of my programs reinstalled, except for games. I want to make a conscious effort to limit 'distractions' from my pc this time and try to really /really/ make myself draw for real. I don't mean like all the other times that I get a bug up my butt and try to make myself be really productive for a day or two, but actually keep a steady pace going, and I figure, if I setup my pc environment to feel like creatively productive then maybe it'll help my mind get into the right place for it. I've already got Gimp and OC1.1 installed, gonna put blender back on soon enough, and the only "game" I plan on keeping on my drive is secondlife (firestorm viewer ftw) primarily for marketplace efforts.

*sigh* that out of the way, if anyone has any experience in data retrieval from dying or dead drives, feel free to smack me for /not/ keeping external backups, or if you pitty me I'm more than open to suggestions and advice. Been trying to backup files through windows /and/ linux environments but it's all slow going regardless.

Anyways, time for work for me. Hoping to do something creative when I get home even if it's just mindless doodles. Till then, ciao.

P.S.
I forgot how fast a fresh install of windows can be. Feels kinda nice.

Crazyness with the car and wheels getting stollen, almost defaulting on renters insurence, left shift on my laptop is no longer functioning, but hey! We finally have internet! $%&* YEAH!!!

Yup, I knifed myself at work. Not horribly but I did need a few stitches in my finger (left index finger, I can still draw!<3) I'll be able to work again before the week is up though. Just really sucks for now. Just wanted to keep everyone up to date. Here's hoping the next few weeks pass by quickly.

<3 Love you all. <3

Still no net at the apartment, but I got mobile data back on my phone so it's a little more bearable. Speaking of, Andy and I are under the weather a bit, allergies are hitting us hard. But like I said, we're still alive and kicking. Been doodling some too, nothing fantastic but just a bit to shake some dust off. Will hafta do more when I have time away from work. Speaking of, gotta get ready soon. Till laters my lovies~

Sorry I haven't been around much, been busy busy busy busy. Been working at the store with Andy, trying not to lose my mind working in the meat department (knows next to nothing about meat x.x) Also had to downgrade my cell plan for a little bit. Didn't quite have enough in my old account to keep data so, back down to regular calling and texting. It's only temporary until I can get setup with a credit union down here (after getting a texas license, ugh) hoping to get that taken care of within the month though. (June) Other than that, we have a car now thanks to a family friend of Andy's mom (she's been such a treat to us <3) Our apartment isn't fantasticaly furnished yet, but we have all the important things; bed, table, chairs, kitchenware, utensils, plates, all that good stuff. Still no internet at the apartment yet either, but there's a coffee shop just across the street from us and I'll be sure to hop over more often to keep you guys up to date and check up on everything happening.

Andy's doing alright too. Our hours are kinda conflicting at the moment unfortunately so we don't get a lot of together time outside of sleeping (no, not that. Actual sleeping. You pervs~) but we do find time to cook together and make sure we're both doing well.

Not sure there's much more to say at the moment. Love you all, and hope to keep in better touch with you guys over time. Much love to everyone (smooch) Be well, be blessed, and be safe. <3

http://i.imgur.com/XTqJWE1.jpg

happy couple <3

I'm on a bus headed for Dallas, and when I get there I got on another bus for Houston. So nervous but so super excited. <3<3

Hopping a bus and heading to Houston TX next Monday. (May 9th)

. . . anyone got a couch I can sleep on? <.<;

So just as I was trying to get into a regular streaming schedule, shit hits the fan. I want to stream, but with new data caps on my net, it's' not gonna happen. My livestreams are on indefinite hiatus once more.

. . . yay life.

Not happening for a while again. Our ISP is now capping our data, so I'm cutting back on streaming, or rather, having to stop streaming for the next couple of months. I plan (tentatively) to do a stream after the 20th as a means to test how much a short art stream might take, but till then I'm treading lightly. . . goddamn greedy corporate bastards...

Gina put the stream off for an hour or so. Wanna get home and warm up some, and I'll see how I'm feeling after that. Movie was good BTW. :3

Having to set it back to 7pm this time, need some time to tend to some other things. Sorry, but the stream will happen still..

https://picarto.tv/PinkiDinkiArtStream

See you there!

http://www.twitch.tv/ev1lp1nk1

More Sam'n'Max tonight. :D

So, either this is going to be this first day of the rest of my life, or I'm making the biggest mistake of my existence.

-sigh-

I'm finally going to leave. Not FA, but I'm moving out. I'm tired of feeling trapped where I am now, so I'm jumping ship. I'm waiting for my taxes to come back (which won't give me much, but it'll give me something) I'm going to pack what I can, and buy a Ticket to head to Houston Texas to meet my boyfriend of the past 3 years.

I don't know what's going to happen when I get there though. I won't have much money, I don't have a prospective job lined up, I don't even have a place to stay yet. I'm really just playing this by ear and, I'm hoping that things will work out someway.

I'm open to suggestions or advice guys. I know this is probably the most ill advised decision I'll ever make, but I'm that desperate.

Whatever happens, to everyone I've ever met, everyone who's supported me, and all those that I may have forgotten over the years, from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the support and all the love.

I hafta call off tonight stream. Just not feeling so hot, gonna take a course of days to recoup and I'll be back ontop of things Friday.

6 o'clock. Every evening when 6 rolls around, that's when I'm going to start my art streams. If I can't stream because of family (they like to steal me on Thursday nights) or if something comes up, I'll let everyone know well in advance. For now though, it's happening.

As a side note, if you come to my streams feel free to chat among yourselves. I intend for these to be social and interactive. I don't mind if you come in and just stalk but if there's no chat, don't feel afraid to start talking. Clean stuff, dirty stuff, game stuff, hell I'll even allow political talk (just don't ask me my opinion, I tend to stay very neutral in such regards xD)

So tonight, 6PM U.S. Central time. I'll be offering tentacle pets, leaf biting icons, and maybe some plushy icons again. Spread the word, and hope to see you all there. ^u^

Thank you! Thank you for finally catching up with inkbunny, weasyl, so furry, DA, and pretty much every other art site that allows users to organize their submissions into folders. XD

Srsly though, hell of a pleasant surprise. :3

So a while back, Foxxpaw did a sort of self help journal series. I absolutely loved it and had some very pleasant discussions with him during that time, and now, I feel I need to do something similar. Maybe not quite the same, but something to give myself a bit of structure now that I'm getting my art groove on. (please don't hate me for bringing up financial stuff but that is a part of this. T.T) So, without further adue...

1: Persistent work.
What I mean by this is, to always have a project to work on. Be that commissions (which I have but need to discuss some things with the commissioners) or giving myself projects to do. Even just doodling a bit every day would be beneficial but that's just the bare minimum. Constantly practicing on new styles and skills, or improving on ones that I'm weak on, will help me to get better at art and diversify my capabilities. I do have a list of projects to work on too, including a couple of short comic series' and a number of one-off pieces.

2: Maintain a positive perspective.
A little vague again, maybe, but basically just trying to keep myself in better spirits. The thing that stops me from working most often is fear of failing to meet my own expectations. I think most artists struggle with this at some point. Seeing an image in your mind, then having difficulty translating it to the canvas. It can be a little disappointing or even dis-empowering. I know I've had days where I struggle to get a pose to look right. Draft after draft after draft, just all looking so... off. Something I'm trying to do to mitigate this is work with more layers in my projects, giving myself more room to tweek and adjust where needed. I'd like to reach a point where I can just draw and not worry about the outcome so much, but I doubt I'll ever truly reach that state. Yay constant improvement!

3: Stop screwing around and finish commissions!!!
Okay, this is one I'm not sure how to tackle. I have at least 2/4 commissions that I really need to get finished up, however I find myself in a complicated situation with my rooming arrangements. This limits what kind of commissions I can really take on (cutting that number down to just 1 of those original 4 commissions) As much as I love drawing naughty stuff, I'm kinda prevented from making any financial gain on those works. So, I'm stuck doing clean commissions only, not a bad thing in and of it's self but I feel it limits my options a bit here. (no offense guys, but it's kinda true. Most furry artists either sell absolutely amazing fantastic clean art, or they sell porn. XD) Which, leads me up to the topic that I really /really/ hate to bring up.

*prepares for the backlash*

4: Financial goals.
No fancy title or joke, it's just what it is. Thankfully I don't have too many bills to worry about, but I do have bills that I am having difficulty paying, and would be a pretty big hamper on things if I couldn't manage. So, goals for this section. Kind of a sub-list I guess. (1) "Set commission prices and give examples of work"; This I struggle with. Partially because I feel I'm a pretty poor judge of what to price my work at, and partially because I feel my work is still pretty inconsistent. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but it's hard to overlook some flaws when you know how something is supposed to look or work. (2) "Sustainable income"; This is the end goal of this segment. I'm not begging, and I'm not looking for handouts. I just want to be able to pay my bills. The excess of which could be covered with an extra $100 each month, but if I can reach that just from what's essentially a hobby, would help out greatly. Again, I hate talking about money like this. It makes me feel like I'm begging, but at the same time communication is super important to me so, lesser of the evils here.

I don't know what's going to happen over the next months, I have grander goals for myself that I want to work towards, but I want to focus on these ones first. Those first 3 are persistent, I'll be working on those and trying to improve myself.


And guys, to everyone who's stuck with me through this journal, thanks. You guys are awesome. <3