Xanthus2523 here, I just wanted to update everyone. As of Sunday January 6, 2013, 6:15am Jape has lost his battle against cancer. I invite everyone to tell a story about Jape or how you are feeling here on his journal. If you feel you want to keep it private you are welcome to send me a note on my FA user page or contact me on yahoo messenger.

Thank you all.

I love you Rex! I miss you bud bud.

-Xan





*This account will not be monitored.*

The fact is there are no more viable treatment options for me I've officially been given 6 to 18 months. and they willl do there best to make what time I have left as comfortable as possible. Thank you alll for the support you've given me through all this, and I'm not signing off just yet, just know the situation is and will remain grim for this rex. it is the reality of it. If you never hear from me again. good bye. It was a pleasure.

Evo T Rex

My situation has gotten worse. underwent more surgery which apparently was critical to the point where if I didn't happen to be in the clinic at that point I might not be writing this message now or possibly ever., and I'll be healing up from that for a while. meanwhile 'what next' discussions need to be made.

ta-ta for now.
EVO

My I lost my Photoshop and Painter discs and have nothing to use, or practice with

now.. who can help....?
I know of this, but that's not my question. relearning a skill entirely is slightly easier when working with something familiar. You don't know what I'm up against :/
Thanks for treading

so it wasn't a good week for me. It started off rough with unusually, high pain levels, which led me to go back on stronger meds which work for pain but causes other issues such as not being able to eat. or keep food or water or pills down when you try. things spiraled from there. So in line with my previous post a few days into the week I had to call 911 and get taken via ambulance to the hospital. Not the first time I had such a ride but it was the first time I had to call it for myself since my diagnosis. I It was that bad. I am in and out of the ER often enough thatthey actually know me on sight. This time it was so bad I couldn't wait for a doc and I knew the paramedics would be able to help immediately, and they did. They were great. I figure I have the option to lessen the agony, right away so do it. I did and I was happy I did. went in got fixed up in the ER. felt better. Until.. the next day. It returned even stronger.

I cant even describe it. well they say on a scale of 1 to 1to 10 with 10being the worst pain you ever felt, I said twenty- one!
so second day in a row I called 911 and was given another ambulance ride. A big hunky fireman carried me to the gurneysince I couldn't really walk so well.anyway It was decided this time I would stay in the hospital for observation, and I totally agreed. Now I'm on a new med which so far has worked great.I'm home now and I'm feeling good. it is the weekend, and I look forward to a great week coming up. I hope your upcoming week is great too! Thanks as always for reading and all your
support.
I should mention that it is thought that pain levels may be high due to the current treatment working well. it's complicated but ogical... we should know more in a few weeks. I'll post more as I find out of course. One day I WILL return to form.


{On reflection I did have to call 911 once before when Xanthus and I were attacked by a dog, though that was mainly to get the police out to contain the animal. they sent paramedics as stanardproceedure,and I agreed to go with them so they could stop the bleeding right away. probably a good call on reflection. side note: rabies shots suck.}

Peace and love to you all, my friends EVO

ever need to call 911 before? if so why?
Ever have to need to taken someplace via ambulance yourself?
ever been hospitalized?

Things are going well at the moment.
I stopped a new treatment which I couldn't wait to get away from Wasn't doing much good anyway.. Good riddance. I'm on one now that was expected to cause orobs constitution-wise but after one round the score card weighed heavily in my favor. It will be a good while before we know how well it works, but just being able to continue is good news. the numbers are up. that's all that matters for the moment. Moving forward.
Feel free to drop me a line and say hello anytime. I'll be around.

My thanks as always for all the hopes and well wishes.

Evo

I'm curious as to what motivates people to read my journal post? or Anybody's for that matter?

What's going on out there wheere you are?

Let me auto block see any posts with "commission" "streaming" or Badges" in the title. It would make reading journals so much better.
I realize this may sound harsh, but let's get real here. it's a form of spam.

In my previous post regarding treatment, I think a few things were misunderstood. I wondered why it seemed to turn into a wake, but I can see why now that I went back over it.
First of all I am not stopping my treatments. just one , and that one does not in itself act as a cure. What it can do for some people is extend their given time left by a certain amount if they have been given a time span
This does not apply to me,I have not been given an expiration date. I was given this treatment because in my case they are unsure of a lot about my case. They wanted to try all they could. It was given to assist other treatments, and in the end it wasn't working anyway.
Okay now here is the latest info: My latest scan was yesterday, and I'll be honest, it was not good. swelling has increased, The current treatment clearly isn't working. So we are moving on to another more hopeful treatment, which is good. That last one sucked! I was sick all the time and now I look like a zombie rex. In addition to the change in treatment I will start a medication that may improve my mobility and sensory troubles. I'll also be starting exercise routines to try and rebuild my lost muscle mass.
So bottom line is this: I'm not due to expire as far as anyone can tell. I am not giving up the fight by any means. Life throws a lot of sucker punches, and it's not easy, but I promise to keep on fighting. Life is worth living, for all of us. So live it! No excuses.
As always I greatly appreciate all the support you all have given me. You have my heartfelt gratitude, and I send my love and best wishes to you all. <3 EVO T.REX

so what's new with you?

I know theses posts can be a bummer. I'm not offended if they're skipped.

I chose to stop one of my treatments. This one in particular is supposed to slow growth and thus delay the inevitable, giving you another six months maybe, if you're in that position. I Quit it because I believe it to be causing my left side paralysis, among other things.A few extra months like this aren't worth much.
Which would you choose?

I'm continuing my other chemo, and we'll see where it goes. Options are dwindling, but they're not exhausted yet.
We all have to go sometime. You may read or hear about things like this Maybe you try and imagine yourself in such a way. It all serves as a reminder of our own mortality. So I don't blame anyone for not wanting to talk about it or read about it.
Yes, one day my posts here may stop without warning. The universe will carry on. It really will be alright.
Meanwhile I keep on fighting. So don't mistake my aforementioned choice as me giving up.
Don't worry, my friends. Be happy.
Evo

Here's the latest if you really wanna know.
The last scan did not look good. This goes along with barely being able to walk.Still I can get about on my own at least. Usually. A cane helps.
I start a new kinda harsh treatment in a few days. It's going to suck, but it's worth a try.
Still moving forward....

I want to post something cheerful for a change, but I'm struggling to come up with something.
So you post something cheerful and I'll comment on it.

You decide!

q... From here?

My bark is pretty fierce as well...

http://www.bbc.co.uk/nature/17159086

OK, this is how I'm doing. Just remember you asked.
Keeping it simple, my condition has not improved. The situation with my left side has steadily declined. simple things like gripping a door handle or using my left hand for anything at all is out of the question. I limp when I walk, sometimes even dragging my left leg behind me. Some speech and facial control issues have surfaced though they are not so prominent, just annoying so far.
I remain well medicated and most of the time things are manageable, but then there are days when the pain spirals so far out of control I end up in the emergency room, hooked up to tubes.
It isn't too often that this occurs but it sucks when it does. Some of the stuff the blast me with really messes with the mind, and I end up in a where am I situation, which is always interesting.
It is for these reasons that they believe things to be getting worse. The images they take started to look stable for a while, and then not, then stable again. The problem with scans is they can't really show what's inside, they can only hint, and the pros have to give it their best shot when figuring out what is going on and how to treat it. In many cases experience with similar cases weighs in heavily, but having a case that is unique means there are no other frames of reference to go by, and the line "running out of options" was used a few times.
And so I went from two teams working on my case to four, bringing in more experience and ideas from other clinics around the country. This lead them to try to determining if my left side issue is a direct result of my malady or if it's the swelling it causes which is affecting me.This will help to narrow things down a bit and open more options.
While it seemed promising at first, a few weeks into it has yielded little to no change. This indicates the current treatment isn't working. Different treatments have been suggested, and are being considered carefully. including older and much harsher forms of chemo, or going back on the first treatment which was promising but wrecked my blood counts, only changing the dose up this time. More radiation was mentioned but ruled out since one can only take so much, and while more surgery is possible it is so risky that it would have to be a last ditch effort and even then it's not likely it can help.
So I wait and will know soon which way we'll be heading next. In the meantime I started physical and occupational therapy to try and rope my left side back in.

I never have a problem talking about this stuff, but I don't usually go on about it because I know it can make people uncomfortable. I don't want to come off as depressing or anything like that. I get by on a day to day basis, I have my bull whom I love by my side and we take care of each other
I really am doing alright considering. I get what I can out of life which is what everyone should be doing regardless of your situation.
Any questions?

What's going on with you lately?

Nothing new going on. I wont have any further information on my condition for another month or so at least. I did end up in the ER a week ago or so, but that tends to happen sometimes. Just gotta roll with it.
Selling off a lot of my games. Can't play em unless they're one handed anyway. Or turn based. I'm gonna get an old Atari.
I should at least turn some attention towards writing, but I lack focus. A lot of stories are sitting in my head but they need to be compiled into a readable format. Single handed typing sucks, but one does what one can.

OK What else.
I'm already tied of winter. bring on the warm weather I say.

t.t.f.n.

FurAffinity is very nice, suits my purposes well. However, it really does show its age. There is so much more that it could and really should do.

What other furry community websites are there out therethat people use?

... not me.

OK, here is an update on my current fight in a nutshell.
Today's scan indicated growth. I was in the ER a couple weeks ago from mind blistering pain, and my entire left side is now pretty much useless. It all adds up to a mean right hook to my noggin.
My options as it stands are dwindling but I'm looking into new places, so don't count me out.

Best Wishes!

Evo

Besides FA which barely rates anyway, what online social arenas do you access?

Are you a Face-booker? a twit? Do you use Google's Late-to-the-party social effort? Live Journal is still dying a slow death so that's probably out. What's that other one? Myspace or is that dead too?

Perhaps you still use IRC still. FA seems to think someone does.
What else is there? Messenger? I use yim, and nothing else. EVER. How many of those things do you use? Even if you use an all in one program ( I HATE the word app) I'd still count each service as separate.
How about 2nd Life, is that finally dead? I hope so. I tried it once and directly blame it for my being on chemotherapy for 3 years.

What else is out there?
Social gaming? Let's save that for another day.