Yeah, you guys probably noticed I all but dropped off the radar in the past few years. Not going to try to explain what happened or why, because I'm not sure what happened. What I will say though is that, with a sense of normalcy returning to my life, I'm feeling a return of that old motivation to try and get things done. I'm catching up on cleaning around the apartment, getting my life organized, and yes, even getting back into posting photos from cons, of which I'm a few years behind by now.

I wasn't sure precisely how to go about catching up on that huge backlog of photos from conventions, so I decided to start with the most relevant (MFF 2013) and once those are done, work backwards from there. I posted 10 today, but while I won't be able to post that many every day, it's a good start to getting everything back in order. I used to post photos all week to Flickr, then take out 1 to post to FA to highlight the week's postings. I think I'll continue to do that, but since I'm getting such a late start on this week, I'll count this towards next week instead, so if all goes well I'll be posting a photo update on FA (and possibly Weasyl) around this time next week. But like I said, the 10 photos from MFF/Friday are already up on Flickr if you, for some reason, just can't wait to see.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/998934.....7640128444154/

I'm still not happy with my photography abilities, and while I'm getting better at utilizing the tools available to me in my particular photoshopping program, my problems stem from a lack of skill behind the camera. On that note, there's only so much editing can do to make up for errors like bad focusing, wrong aperture settings, wonky interior lighting, but especially setting the shutter speed too low. I know how to make adjustments and correct for most of those problems, but my problem is that I'm not thinking about these things when I'm out taking photos. I need to learn to really sit and analyze each photo's settings before I take the shot. Once I do that, I think my photo quality will skyrocket.

Let's just be honest with each other, bad guys get to have all the fun. So I've seen a ridiculous amount of groups on FA for every trivial detail of a person's life, and now I'm curious if there could be one for villain enthusiasts or people who like to play them?

Somebody has to give that chubby orca some competition ;)

Through the years, I've found a rather strange pattern of behavior amongst some of the artists on FA.

Without divulging any names, some artists here do have professional lives outside the fandom.

In order to keep their online gallery clean and more professional, they create a separate profile to host their more mature works.

Linking to that new profile in a subsequent journal, the artist then announces to his or her followers where to find those works.

I always thought it was counterproductive to do such a thing, since if potential clients in the future are looking through your profile or Google you, the link between your clean and mature art will still surface pretty easily.

Granted, I don't know precisely how easy it is to link such things in such a manner, but I would think that if your career depends on it, you would want to be a lot more discreet.

Having said that, I would also like to believe it is better to not announce it at all, that way whatever works you create stand on their own merit without you having to "advertise" it from your established account.

Think about it this way, if I were (for example) to want to get into story writing, I might go ahead and create a separate profile just for posting stories.

Call me naïve, but I wouldn't advertise it here at all, I wouldn't post a journal, nothing, just so whatever results I got from it would be a result of my own story-writing merits.

However, I might be inclined to make a game of it and do a very subtle hint of the identity of this alternate profile, and hide it somewhere in the scraps folder.

And of course, I would put another hint in the other profile, also in the scraps, hinting at the link to my original profile.

Over time, if nobody took interest in my little game or never connected the dots via the scraps in either account, I might drop another less-subtle hint in a carefully worded or structured journal, but I would NEVER publicly admit the connection to the "mature" art gallery (in such a scenario, I might admit such a thing in person, if someone were to ask).

So in conclusion, I find the whole "advertise your secret account" thing to be illogical, so I promise you guys I would never do that.

Okay, so I got a birthday gift from my father. I'm very grateful for it, don't get me wrong. I just don't know what to do with this damn thing...the hell am I supposed to do with a tablet?!

So I've been outspoken about my views on tablets. On the surface, they appear to have all of the functionality of a phone, with none of the portability. In reality it is actually worse. There's a bunch of things I can use my phone for (other than the obvious), that realistically, I can't do with a tablet. My phone's battery life is longer. And my laptop has a much better interface. I already have a portability case/bag for my laptop, and I don't need to get a screen protector for my it either. Speaking of screens...

Yes, I'm going there. Touchscreens are heathen. Just because smearing your greasy fingers over a screen takes more technology than hitting a key on a keyboard, does not make it more functional. Sometimes technology can and does push us backwards in functionality, and this is a prime example. No, my hands are NOT made of glass and I shouldn't be expected to go all jazz hands all over a piece of equipment while simultaneously trying to observe the output of it. They also can't be perfectly clean every time I touch a screen because I have neither the time nor the inclination to go wash my hands every few minutes to get the grime and sweat off of them. There's a reason computers have a keyboard at chest level and the screen at eye level, they both function best when not trying to be the other. Not to mention the fact that the more screen space you devote to imput, the less screen space you have to observe output.

I have to deal with touchscreens at work. We're at a point now with technology that calibration of the screen isn't an issue. But the lack of feedback when hitting a key or button produces problems, especially when dozens of keys are lined up right against each other. Mis-strokes happen every few minutes because the lines between keys blur when the key "stroke" is registered to the last place your fingertip touched when pulling back, rather than the center of where your finger hit in the first place. Combine that with screens so sensitive you can register a touch while keeping your fingers a few millimeters away, and you have a recipe for problems. And that's all that touchscreens are good for; problems.

I tolerate their existence on smartphones because the lack of space makes touchscreens damn near necessary. And if touchscreens were limited to just that, I'd be fine with them. But they're popping up everywhere and not doing a damn thing to improve interfaces. Your terminal have too many functions to lay out on a custom keyboard? Have buttons on a screen that can be activated with a fucking corded mouse. That's what they're there for.

Okay, end rant.

So I have this little piece of technology that has neither the portability of a phone, nor the functionality of a laptop. It wants apps. I have apps...on my phone. And none of them would translate well to a tablet. I'm not going to use a tablet for Twitter, or for navigating (those are the only two apps I really have and use on my phone). Any other function of technology I need, I use my laptop for. I can type with my laptop, because you know, keyboard and all that. In fact other than gluing some toothpicks onto a tablet and making it into a mini coffee table, I still don't see what these things are used for. Do you serve drinks on them?

You don't watch movies on a tablet, that's what the computer and TV are for (bigger screens, no need to worry about battery).
Can't play games (no way to control anything; touchscreens ruin everything good and pure in this world)
Don't need it to play music, that's what my Zune is for (better battery life, more portable, etc).
Can't use the damn thing at my apartment (it demands wi-fi, and I don't have any. I don't even get cell phone reception in this place. The fuck is wi-fi anyway? Wireless fiction?).

So what do I do with this thing? I desperately want to make use of it because I don't want my dad's generosity to go to waste. I just don't see how this thing fits into people's lives. It just seems to be something a guy invented then convinced people they needed when they really didn't. And

So yeah my birthday is tomorrow. Yayz! I'll be at work, unfortunately.

Next, what is wrong with the FA interface now? I logged on today and suddenly some buttons aren't in the interface anymore. I can't "select", "deselect", or "invert selection" for notices or submissions in my inbox, but I can check them one at a time and remove them. The nuke works. So what changed in the past day that made these buttons suddenly not work...in Firefox only? Because they're still there in Chrome.

Considering that the site still functions perfectly normally on Chrome, and Firefox is notifying me that there's suddenly a new script being blocked on Furaffinity, I can guess what the change was. I've had scriptblocker on Firefox since I got this computer, and the only time before now that I've had to block anything on FA was when they tried to clandestinely put in whatever that program was that donates a few pennies to the site anytime you make a purchase through a link originating here on FA. That change triggered Scriptblocker and I didn't know why at the time, until Dragoneer announced the change a few days later on his journal.

So, other than that, I've never had anything else to block on this site and the "check all" buttons always worked. Now they're part of a script that's being blocked. Now I'm not all that computer savvy, so the two obvious things that could have changed are 1: An update to scriptblocker now includes whatever script was part of the FA code to select all submissions...or 2: FA changed the way the site handles the "select all" buttons and it was something apparently non-script that has now been updated to a script blocked by scriptblocker.

Which is it?

I think two steps fully sums it up. Step 1: lots of people create accounts on all other sites (inkbunny, Weasyl, sofurry, etc), and they keep their galleries current across all sites. Step 2: people realize if all galleries are pretty much the same, why bother with FA?

But, I want to be very clear on this, I don't think FA will ever be abandoned. Thousands of people have hundreds of submissions, and migrating that is a hell of a chore, not to mention the idle galleries of users that have since left the fandom, left FA, or simply died. Those galleries end up being exclusive content in a strange way, and that is an incentive to stay.

But this is progress. Like society builds upon the rotation of public domain and copyrighted material, so too do websites and the fandom evolve. In the real early days, there were those newsgroup thingies and mailing lists. Then select artists who had both the artistic ability to justify the traffic, and the financial resources to create their own sites, did so. Then, we as a fandom got the VCL. Then we got FurAffinity. For all the problems this site has, it is a part (and a very important part) of the fandom's history. And as FA made VCL all but obsolete, other sites are popping up now with more elegant coding, better features, and so forth.

FA blended a social element with the ease of browsing galleries and receiving notifications and updates to your own personal inbox. And for a long time, it was, yes, the best resource the fandom had. That means this site has a huge advantage in name recognition, and the wealth of users and content that flocked here when there was nothing else. Like trying to compete with Nintendo's gameboy platform, having a monopoly for years and years is a hard thing to compete with. So no, FA's not going away unless the owner decides to throw in the towel.

Competition is good, it brings out the best ideas and incentives to keeping things current and interesting. Other sites popping up that have learned from FA's mistakes and listened to the wants and needs of the fandom is a good thing. It's the natural process.

Someone I know said that many things can be likened to a house. Sometimes a house needs a room added on for an unexpected addition to the family. Sometimes something gets damaged and needs repair. Most of the time, you can fix or patch it. It won't always be pretty or just like before, but it's still functional. But sometimes the necessary additions aren't compatible or possible with the house, sometimes the damage is too deep in the structure or foundations, and it's not worthwhile to patch or fix it. And the only remaining solution is to raze the building and start again. It's a normal process we go through in our daily lives. Do I keep this job and try to put up with the co-workers, or ask for a transfer? Do I really enjoy working for this company, or should I put in my resume elsewhere? Do I enjoy this line of work, or should I find a different career? Is this car worth repairing, or should I just up and replace it before it becomes a money pit?

It's possible FurAffinity has run its course as the top dog of furry art community sites. Possible, I'm not claiming to know for sure. But it certainly has seen better days. I feel like people are attributing too much to the "drama" aspect of this without recognizing the bigger picture of what is going on. If FA fades into the background, that's not a terrible thing by itself; that is simply the natural course of business. In the future, the same thing may happen to Weasyl and the other sites. If they can't revamp their sites as necessary, patch and rework code in a timely manner, address user issues quickly and diplomatically, then they will also be supplanted by newer sites in due time.

On January 6, 2012, I posted a journal because I had just seen a video by  revit , which was his "2011 furry year in review". Since then he's done several more videos, and last night his latest collaborative piece was posted. These videos get more amazing each time, but it's not just his own skill that is improving. As his presence has grown, other people have stepped up to the plate to help bring their own skills and efforts to bringing his videos to life, and the transition has been phenomenal.

To  Revit, who brings such awesome camerawork, ideas, and directing to some really amazing videos.
To  dancingduke, who comes up with fun dance moves for each video and music selection
To  bucktowntiger,  firr,  colson, and others for their help with production
And to everyone else who helped out behind the camera, or getting up on a convention center rooftop on a hot summer day to dance your hearts out...

Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to prepare, act, edit, and distribute these works.

It's not my video, and I really have nothing to do with it, but I eagerly look forward to these amazing videos. And I can't state enough how fun and catchy they are. The quality of these videos would not be possible without the insane dedication of everyone involved. So much love to all of you :)

(although my favorite video is still that "2011 furry year in review". That song is just insanely catchy; I ended up having to put it on my playlists)

Everyone reading this should log into their youtube account and make sure they are watching both Revit and Duke (since often the collab videos get posted under Duke's channel). Those would be http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCF0.....rYSrvigUNMnDag , and http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCTb.....UkC_LXGYdtQnTA , respectively. Watch, fav, like, comment, and enjoy those videos!

I'd like to share some of my thoughts regarding my future attendance of conventions. I've spoken about this in private with most of my friends already, kind of bouncing the idea off of them and getting feedback.

I have attended Anthrocon every year since 2005. It's been an amazing experience every time and I don't want anyone to think otherwise despite what I'm going to say. But that said, there's just something about that con that has lost its magic for me. I just don't have fun there like I used to. I feel strange saying that since essentially nothing has changed in any dramatic sense since they settled into Pittsburgh, but there's something about those previous years that I look back on, and I smile as I remember just how much fun I was always having.

These past few years at AC, and especially 2013, I just have come away with a feeling of "well this was fun, but it just wasn't as good for me as previous years". I highly suspect one reason, but I'm not sure if it is the root of the problem. Again, I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but it bears repeating. As I have grown as a person as well as my participation within the fandom, I've come to know a lot more people. I may still be a difficult person to get ahold of in general, and I hang out in the chat rooms a hell of a lot less than I used to, but I communicate more than ever before with people on a one-on-one basis more than I ever have. I'm more personable than I have been in the past, and I frequently reach out to people to hang out and socialize. These are amazing strides I have taken as a person, and naturally it translates from my personal life to my vacation time at these conventions.

...or at least it should, in theory. With each passing year, as Anthrocon grows larger, as there's more for everyone to do, there seems to be no time for people to socialize anymore. And conversely, my convention experience has gotten smaller and smaller. At past cons, even back in 2006, I still found people that had the time of day to socialize and hang out, even for just a bit. And back then I was just a quiet tag-along of other people and not initiating much on my own.

This year I considered myself lucky if I even saw a familiar face in passing. But there was one person in particular that I was looking forward to seeing. I had been in steady communication with him for the past two years and in reality there was nothing else I was looking forward to more, than him. He was my first priority at the con, and I almost never saw him. I'd send him a text or two a day, trying to find out what he was up to without seeming too clingy, ya know? If I ran into him in the calls of the con, I stopped everything I was doing and tried to spend time with him, but he was always on his way to something else. Occasionally I'd get a text back from him, asking what I was doing for lunch or something like that. I'd reply immediately of course, but then I wouldn't hear back from him for the rest of the day.

I vividly remember checking my phone multiple times throughout the day, wondering when or if he'd ever get back to me. It was emotionally draining and by the end of the con I was ready to write off the convention as a complete loss. I had never felt so alone before. It was only Sunday afternoon...Sunday afternoon that I had finally gotten ahold of him where he wasn't running off to something else. We sat down and had a quick lunch with some other friends of his, then we finally got some genuine face time. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed him tight, rocking him slowly in my arms. No words were needed, I just held him tight against me to let him know how I felt. But it only lasted ten minutes before he said he needed to get to his next social engagement.

It's not enough. That ten minutes saved my convention from being an abysmal emotional failure to at least salvageable, but I can't go through that disappointment and heartache every year. I can separate that event from the person, but not such much from the convention. It's so unlike him to be aloof, but it's a symptom of a bigger problem that I mentioned above and is getting worse. Anthrocon is getting too big for people anymore. Too much to do, too many people to see, and it's just not enough for me anymore to just be at a con simply for photos. I need more from my vacation time. I need people to hang out with. I need someone to hug, I need to be able to sit down and chat with people, I need memories that involve more than being behind a camera.

And so I have been telling people that Anthrocon 2014 will probably be my last Anthrocon because I want to move on to other conventions. I'm still bucking for a promotion at work, but until that happens, I can probably only afford one convention a year. I haven't made a concrete decision yet, but I've been really leaning towards MFF. It's a bit of a safer bet for me. I've been there a few times, I know some people there, and I've had marginally better luck socializing there. It's still big enough that a bunch of people I know still attend. I like the convention space better. The hotel really is beautiful and open, and the time of year is a lot colder so it makes fursuiting easier. And now that I drive, I can get myself there a lot easier (12 hour drive though, ouch).

There's a lot MFF doesn't have that AC does, like dining options and all that. But it's worth putting up with the differences if I get a better shot at seeing people. I won't be at MFF this year, but as this issue progresses and I have more time to think about it, I might be at MFF in 2014. I'll keep you guys updated when I have more information.

It's that time of the week again. Let's talk dirty :3

It is one of my favorite movies of all time, but yes, the ending does get me to ear up a little bit. What I love about the movie is how incredibly action-packed it is, yet the "body count" is actually quite low. And in a way you don't often get with action films, the movie is also quite human, delivering very personal moments with the main characters in ways and moments you don't see coming. Plus, a lot of the themes in the film, especially the fear of nuclear holocaust, hits real close to home for the generation of adults that saw this movie in the theaters. Remember, the cold war wasn't that distant of a memory for them, and for them the threat of dying from a Russian nuclear weapon was quite real.

I don't want to dive into every detail of this movie like I did for Ace Combat, but I did want to share my love of this film. I have the DVD of it and I'll probably end up watching it again sometime soon.

Ace Combat 4: Shattered Skies


I want to start off this opinion piece by describing how I started off with this game. Many years ago, I was in high school, and a friend of mine had gotten for Christmas that year, one of those cutting-edge Playstation 2's. Around mid-January I was able to visit his house and during this time he briefly showed me some of the amazing graphical abilities of the machine. Among the titles in his collection was Ace Combat 4, a game he had been playing a lot of, and one that piqued my interest simply because it had a pretty jet on the front of it. I, if nothing else, was an Air Force nerd at the time, so yeah, it caught my eye.

He had a save game on the "Stonehenge" mission, so he flew around a bit while explaining the controls. Then he restarted the mission, handed me the controller, and I played it. It was fun but no big deal. Around a year later I got a PS2 of my own, and since it was one of the few titles I knew about, I made sure to pick up a copy of Ace Combat 4 for myself. I had no idea at the time, the sort of impact that game would have upon me. It completely blew my mind and to this day still colors how I view and judge games. It became the par by which all games are measured.

I generally try to talk little of my opinions, and I speak even less frequently of opinions I hold strongly. But what I feel for this game is powerful, and it's taken me a long time to truly understand how I feel and start to really articulate those feelings. I am going to use metaphors further on in this opinion piece that may offend some people, but in order to relay how I feel, I'll be using a lot of metaphors that some might find sacred and therefore blasphemous to invoke in discussion of what some may feel is just a trivial video game.

And to be clear, it is just a video game. It's not a major watershed or cultural event, but I do feel that the game is vastly underrated even within its own circles and within the genre.

That said I think I should also frame how I judge games, which of course is based on several factors. The most important of which, for the sake of this opinion journal, is that I judge a game based on what it promises to do, what it tries to do, what it should do, and how well it lives up to those things. I also try to judge a game for what it can do based on what resources are available at the time (especially important when considering retro games, you have to keep in mind what was possible during that time period, both in terms of hardware and society). I think that is absolutely necessary for being balanced and fair when judging a game. It is this context I like to have framework my opinions, because is necessary when I give games like "Mass Effect" a rating of around 10% or 15%, and games that are widely despised like "Dynasty Warriors" franchise a score of at least 40%. Because context is everything.

So I have posted a journal before about my top favorite video games, and I rated Ace Combat 4 as second-favorite to Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, despite giving Ace Combat a perfect 100% and Metal Gear a 95%. In retrospect, I may have rated Ace Combat too low. If you were to ask me today, I'd have to give it higher than a perfect score. I'd give Ace Combat 4: Shattered Skies at least a 115% because it did something, in my eyes, that you can't test for or judge until well after the fact. It stood the test of time.

I listen to a lot of movie and game reviews and I've come away with an understanding of things. Critics have ways of seeing things that color how they review, and I believe that context is important, which is why I shared my thoughts on the process above. But not all critics are equal. To make an example of movie critics, many people disregard movie critics because "Oh these critics don't understand the movie", or "they just don't, you know, get it". And they can be correct. Some critics are better are articulating a point or judging a certain genre better, because they are more familiar with the concepts, ideas, executions of said ideas, and know what works and what doesn't in those circumstances. But some people do listen to certain movie critics when they judge certain genres of movies specifically because that critic gets it. And likewise, as a consumer, sometimes you just feel a movie or a game is just so freaking awesome and did everything right, but sometimes you're not quite sure what specific point or points made it stand out from the competition. This movie or game just did it right. It gets it.

As a consumer that isn't all that well educated in the process of making, developing, or executing the creation of a game, I certainly do not hold myself as any sort of authority on the matter. But there's one thing I can say for certain, heroes really do exist. We've just seen one and now he's... Ace Combat 4 gets it.

The game starts off with an intro sequence that doesn't really tell a lot about what's going on. At first, there's a few somewhat ominous quotes that seem to be from a poem. There's a seagull that gets sucked up into a jet engine, a shaky camera zoom-in on what appears to be a crater from some sort of really large impact, and a few fly-by's of an F-22 and a few more shots of seagulls. That's it.

From there you dive into the game with little immediate idea of what is going on. Wars generally don't need much explanation to American audiences, so you just go with it. But the narrative is told through incredibly-illustrated storyboards and the narration of a now-older man who was just a boy when the war occurred. In reality the game isn't about you, the player; it's about how the war affected him. Your actions have direct consequences in his world, but at the same time the narrative is never really about you.

The first thing that really hits you is that they use WW II-era Germany as a paradigm for the setting. Little nuanced things like the fuel rations, the certain way military vehicles are framed against civilian settings, and the way the military interacts with the civilians just cries out "occupying Germans!" Even the boy's original home looks to be French countryside. Little details like the small black-and-white TV, the architecture of buildings, everything is made to look antiquated. Then to finish the metaphor, you initiate the re-invasion of the mainland from a little island not too far off the coast and fight your way across the continent.

The graphics are great for the time period and stand up decently even today. The gameplay is very intuitive, blending basic aerodynamic physics with arcade-style "realism" to create a game that is easy to pick up but still a challenge to master. The story is touching and rather relatable, with an orphaned boy finding a father figure in his life but secretly harboring resentment because he blames said father figure for the death of his parents. The missions are fun and switch it up with challenging objectives, vastly different landscapes, and a superweapon that occasionally pops in to make your life miserable.

The story is very simple, but yet, it drives the game so very well. For what could have been any number of generic storylines (if any at all) to hash out a war, this one always did stand head and shoulders above others. You get a unique perspective into how the allied forces' operations effect the people in occupied territories, as told through the eyes of a person who doesn't really fully grasp the consequences of what's going on because he's so young.

From your own perspective, things get interesting during missions. You intercept occasional enemy radio traffic, and you hear everything from straightforward field commanders barking orders, to lighthearted banter between troops, to the occasional soldier recognizing the insignia on your plane from prior missions.

He's the one! That one with the ribbon insignia! He's the grim reaper!

And when you initially start to hear this change in tone as the game progresses, it can be easy to dismiss it as an interesting and quirky thing to be put into a game. Puts a little grin on your face to be sure, as the enemy starts to keep tabs on you.

The war progresses. Through the narrator, you see how the military is starting to fall back and fall apart. Civilians start to rise up against the occupiers. You can really start to see your own impact on the war in a way much more intimate than these games usually achieve. The narrator goes through some emotional events of his own.

You'll notice there's one, usually small detail I haven't mentioned yet that relates to games in general. I think it was so important that it required its own section.

One of the most enduring parts of this game for me has been the music. And right there, that sentence, hundreds of Ace Combat 4 fans just gasped lightly and said under their breath "Megalith". I didn't even have to say it. It's just known because that outstanding part of the game is held in such revere. Putting that aside for a brief moment and with all due respect, the music in this game is phenomenal. Not every track is platinum, but it always meshes very well with each level, giving each level a very personal sort of taste and feeling that makes it really stand out. But the standout, as I said, is the last level, Megalith.

If I've now written two and a half pages on this game, this one level deserves at least as much time in explaining every significant detail, every nuance, every metaphor present, and every bit of symbolism. But luckily, someone's done much of the work for me, and I'll link that youtube video in a bit. For now, let me just iterate; in almost every book, movie, or game, everything leads up to the final battle. In some poorly written media, sometimes the events prior can seem disjointed, or the final battle may simply be the natural order of events. And therefore, not too much beyond what you were expecting.

But Ace Combat 4 pulls a tricky punch on you. Mission 17, you take over the capital of the enemy forces, and it's announced that the war is pretty much over. But instead of an interesting final video sequence detailing your heroics, you're dropped into another mission briefing. And everything from here on in is so deliberate in its every nuance and detail that I am only one-hundred percent certain that an entire team of people slaved away endless hours to make everything about this perfect.

This final mission briefing starts off dramatically different, with a very stark schematic representation of your final objective, all in black and yellow. And instead of your normal briefing background music, it's dead fucking silent except for what sounds like a dull heart beat. Whomever was part of programming this final mission obviously spent some time researching how best to effect the psychology of the player, because the stark emptiness of the audio and the dark images of your final target simply makes a shiver go up your spine and think, "What the fuck am I about to get into???"

They coyly place some uncertainty into your mind assuring you that "fly into this...with full confidence that the unit will be able to get you out again". And you're here thinking, "You've never needed to assure me of that before, should I be worried about this?".

Then it shows the computer-generated grid of the mission start, showing enemy locations and yourself. And it's dead fucking silent. It has been said once that in a world of loudness and flashy colors, if you want to be heard, you whisper. Well these subtle details do a very good job of whispering just how different this is going to be. Everything is setting you up for that feeling in your gut that this, this is where the shit is about to hit the fan.

Then you get to the plane-selection screen. And for the only time in the game, instead of just the normal background music playing, you get a motivational speech from the commanding officer of the operation. And not only is it rather gripping and inspiring after everything you've been through, they time it so well with the music that one has to wonder if the speech was created first and the music later to match, or vice versa?

It's at this point you figure out that while every detail of this has been very carefully orchestrated, the most powerful signals you've been getting have been auditory. The lack of music, the heart pounding, the speech, everything is playing to your ears. And you know why? The big finale, the fireworks spectacular, everything is leading up to one of the most powerful and dramatic music tracks you will ever hear in a video game.

After another ominous poetry quote, we're given an intro video sequence. A powerful chorus belts out a few amazing verses in what seems to be Latin while a dramatic camera zooms out from the fortress you'll be assaulting. And this thing is fucking huge. Then it cuts to a chase camera of a seagull flying (circling back from the opening video, linking that to this) and it's fucking raining meteorites!. The camera shows a flock of seagulls flying towards the battle area while meteors fall all around them. And you're like, "What sort of hell am I about to fly into?!" Then the camera shows your AWACS plane flying through this meteor storm, determined to stay with you through the final battle and barely missing the falling rocks on either side of him. Then a final zoom-in to the fortress, a zoom-out with a quick shot of a seagull again, and finishes with a meteor flies by the camera one last time. The entire thing screams out, "WELCOME TO HELL'S MAW!!!"

You get one last poetic verse, then the mission starts. It's silent for a moment while AWACS makes one final round of communication calls to the other pilots flying with you. And they're all responding with denominations of your moniker. For this entire game you've been "Mobius 1", and every other pilot has had their thing. But not here. "Mobius 2 on standby!" "Mobius 3 through 7 on standby!" "Mobius 8 on standby!" These aren't just allied pilots anymore. These people are now your squadron. This is your group, your family, your brothers-in-arms as you are tasked with leading right into the jaws of hell one last time. The AWACS tells everyone to follow you into combat and the mission really beings.

The chorus starts chanting the final mission music and it just gets your blood boiling already. This incredible music pounding away with your team covering your back, you charge headfirst into the enemy ranks...

...and holy fuck they pop up on your HUD and they're all members of the elite squad that had given you trouble throughout the entire game. And it's not just one or five, there's dozens of them, and they're headed straight-on for you. But before you can even tighten your grip on the controller, they see you and the rest of the Mobius squadron and they freak the fuck out. The initial shout-out comes from the second-in-command, "You're not going to believe this Jean-Loius! THEY'VE ALL GOT RIBBON INSIGNIAS!!!", reflecting perfectly what you were just thinking a second ago about them.

So now you have an enemy fortress you have to destroy, dozens of elite fighters between you and the objective, meteorites showering down around you, and insanely epic music blasting...and you just fist-pump and scream out in the most manly way "FUCK YES I CAN TAKE ON THE WORLD!!!" And you hit the afterburner and go screaming full-throttle into the enemy ranks and start what will undoubtedly be one of the most memorable battles in your gaming life.

You sweep through waves of enemy fighters, and the enemy and allied banter continue over the radio. The enemy starts out confident, saying they'll sweep you from the skies. Your allied ground crew is going through some pretty tough times trying to force their way into the enemy fortress to do their part. At some point you kill the enemy squadron commander, and his successor reluctantly takes over from there. Pilots worry out about the meteor storm and ponder if the rocks are going to hit them. Enemy pilots beg for assistance from their comrades when you get a lock on them.

The longer this goes on, the more pilots die, you can hear the change in tone in the enemy squadron. They're freaking out, most of them sound rather young, and you almost start to pity them as they become uncoordinated and scared for their lives. Your ally pilots freak out over the size of Megalith, and how insurmountable it is. Ground forces are suffering major casualties as they try to infiltrate and sabotage the facility to open some missile hatches for you. The tone changes rather radically from the start, where you had a mixture of fear and bravado to start, it just becomes absolutely desperate as the battle wears on. The Megalith facility is continuously firing missiles up at the meteors, so you've got crap flying from below, with occasional sweeps of laser targeting just in case you forget why you're there.

With the incredible music, setting, dramatic escalating radio traffic, story, everything just blends to make this climactic sequence truly an entity that is truly more than the sum of its parts. Even describing it in the most endearing and fond terms I believe doesn't do it justice.

The game, and especially that last mission, create within me such a flurry of positive emotions and sheer energy that I have trouble describing to people precisely how it's like. I have the music to this game on my computer, on my mp3 player, and I listen to it almost every day. The last level music in particular is something very powerful for me. To give an example, one day I was running on a treadmill for a while, getting tired and sweaty, and then that music came on and oh fuck I can take on the world again! and started sprinting full-speed and not even sweating anymore. It just instantly put me into the zone.

To this day I've not yet seen a final mission done with such grandeur successfully, or even attempted. What's funny is that each tidbit detail by itself is interesting but nothing without the other parts. Mission where meteors are falling all around you in a hellish landscape setting? Okay, probably been done before, probably been forgotten about before. Radio intercepts from enemies? Cool, but never really consequential. Music? Good music, but loses a lot of importance without the context of the game to give you flashbacks to the epic battles.

So yes, I feel the game was good, then great, then outstandingly spectacularly perfect by the last mission. And afterward, it passed into legend, because it's just that fucking good. That I haven't seen a game so perfect since only makes Ace Combat 4 that much better. Sometimes, everything just comes together in a way so perfect that it can't be duplicated or replicated.

Oh and I promised a link to an in-depth review of the last level in all of its glory. Here you go http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYEXEooM2VM

So, AC is over, yatta yatta yatta, you know the drill.

I thought I'd throw out some quick numbers for you.

Raw number of photos taken by day

Thursday 381
Friday 468
Saturday 198
Sunday 425

Total 1472

Now the same thing applies that I say every year. Not every picture is worthy of being posted, I take a lot of duplicate/triplicate shots to make sure I have a good photo of each suiter, etc etc. I'm sure you are all very familiar with the same spiel I give every year. Anyway, given my usual ratio of pictures taken verses posted, I'm estimating right now between 420 and 810 photos will be usable from this con.

So I took some damage this morning. The port-side hole for the belt loop of my tail decided it wanted to expand, and it did so in two different directions. Towards the other hole for the belt loop, it damn near severed the partition between them. The only thing holding those loops apart right now is a thin strip of orange glue. Once that snaps, the hole doubles in size.

I can try to repair the damage, but I'm not sure if it'll work. The fursuit body is heavily stressed under normal circumstances, and the 10 pounds I gained since last year hasn't helped any.

Right now my plan is to retire Shockwave for the rest of the con, and figure out repairs when I get home. I will be borrowing a fursuit to do the fursuit parade and all that, so this won't cause us to be "down one headcount".

This is a more complicated issue than all that anyway. People love Shockwave and there has been no shortage of people coming up to me looking for hugs and pictures. But the truth is that I've been left wanting for a fursuit that is easier to move around in. Something with a simple hanging tail, no body padding, and smaller ears. Something where I can really run around and play with people. Don't get me wrong though, I love Shockwave and there's nothing but happy memories with him. But that suit is large and unwieldy. I was thinking of a ferret with natural or semi-natural colors.

But, fursuiting also takes an immense amount of equipment. And keeping in mind that I'm considering going to other cons in lieu of Anthrocon, it would be a lot easier for me if I didn't have a fursuit in tow. So, I may stop fursuiting altogether. I don't know yet.

So yeah, I have a lot of things to consider when I get home from the con this year. In the meantime, I'm heading to Subway for lunch. I'll check into FA again soon. Have fun peoples!

And when will you be arriving?

So with Anthrocon coming up next week, I decided to share some thoughts I have on it. Of course I am very excited to go again, I can't wait to see you guys, take lots of pictures, hang out, and generally enjoy myself for the one vacation I generally take in any given year.

For reference, the first Anthrocon I attended was 2005 in Philly. I've attended every year since. It's been a huge part of my furry life, both as generally the only time I get to interact with other furs offline, and through my photography, the single biggest part of my online presence here on FA.

So what I'm about to say, I don't say lightly. I plan on attending Anthrocon 2014 barring any catastrophic life circumstances. That'll give me a nice round 10 years in a row. After that, I don't know if I want to continue attending. I wish I could say for certain that I would want to continue attending, especially since I just acquired a vehicle, and therefore am no longer dependent upon others to give me a ride to the con. AC is pretty close to me, about a 4 hour drive, which isn't bad at all. I always have a lot of fun, it's just an all-round good con for me.

But there is a big issue that seems to get bigger every year, ironically. Every year I find that more and more people I know won't be attending, and each year I think to myself that it's no big deal and and all. I've said it before and it bears repeating; I don't know that many people to begin with. So when another two or so in each passing year say, "Decided not to attend Anthrocon anymore", that's a fairly big deal to me.

To be fair, some say it out of some sort of problem that cropped up in the year that prevents them from going once, but they'll go again. But there are plenty who declare outright that they have no more interest in attending. And they share the same reason. A few years ago Kage made a joke on the AC forums, saying "Nobody attends Anthrocon anymore, there's too many people there". And that little comment is becoming all too real. This year marks the fewest people attending that I personally know, despite meeting new people there each year.

I can definitely understand their issue with it. I have the same problem. So many people there, that each person has their "to-do" list and "have to meet this person" list, and they end up dividing their time up so badly that you may end up seeing a person for only an hour for the entire weekend, if at all. I have a slightly more extreme version of that problem. Last year, I made time for a bunch of people whom did not care enough to put forth the same effort to see me. One person in particular, someone whom I had waited eight months to finally see, had only five minutes to see me. And that was just a lucky shot because I ran into them when they got off on the wrong floor and I just happened to be there. I had five minutes to chat with them before they had to run off to a prior commitment, and then I never saw them again.

Most of the people I know don't live in the same time zone as me. To suddenly have them in the same building as me for approximately 90 hours over the course of the weekend and never see them? That's just insane.

After the con, I hear similar stories from everyone. "Oh, sorry, not enough time in a day", "Every time you called I was about to head to an event", "...was at dinner", "...already ate", "...spending some quality time with my boy/girlfriend", or some variation thereof. I might be inclined that I'm just the most popular ditch target at the con if these same people weren't complaining about the same problem, and also clamoring for me to visit them when the con's over. Problem is, hey, my vacation time is over and I have to get back to work. I made time to see you, it was called Anthrocon.

So with the number of people I know at the con whittling down each year, means that I get less and less face time with anybody I know. Which means I have less and less incentive to go. Taking photos is fun and all, but I want more out of my con experience than chasing down 300 different fursuiters just so I can have the luxury of doing photo work when I get back home. It's a vacation, I want to hang out with people and have fun too. And anymore, that isn't what's happening.

Every time I bring this up in conversation with people, I hear the same "go to a smaller con!". And each year I get a little closer to going for it. Because if I start to attend a smaller con, it's entirely likely that I won't have enough money left over in my budget for Anthrocon.

That becomes a whole new can of worms because my fursuit is not pack-friendly. I really don't have the resources or the desire to ship it by air if I take a plane to another con. Flying is hazardous and stressful enough without having to worry if the TSA is going to rip apart my suit and somehow legally avoid having to pay for the damages. So if I settle on a con I fly to, I won't be fursuiting anymore. Mailing it is an option yes, but seems rather expensive and I don't know how well that'll turn out. If I have to consider that option in the future, I'll consider it and cross that bridge when I get to it.

If I try to find another con I can drive to, that might leave me with Furfright, which is twice as far as AC from me, making it a bigger hassle to get to, but I can still drive it. I don't know of any other cons that would be within driving range of me.

In general, I'd be looking for a con that's small enough to avoid my main problem, while large enough to justify the expense and hassle of taking time off of work and attending. That doesn't really leave a lot of cons within such a "goldilocks" zone.

Then there's the wild card. To explain...there's a certain someone with whom I have an unusual relationship. I am not making any premature plans or anything, but suffice to say I am happy with the relationship and I'm open to seeing if it'll go further. By the time 2015 rolls around, it's possible said person and myself may be in a stage of the relationship where they would want me to come and live with them. We're not at that point now, don't get me wrong, but so far as things have gone so far, I would definitely be receptive to the idea of packing up my life and moving in with them if that's where it goes. That said, if they attend AC after that point, of course I will as well. Or if they attend other cons instead, I'll stand by their side wherever they go.

Just wanted to get that off my chest :3

Eh, why not? Saw this on someone else's page and decided to go for it.

Where are you staying?
The Westin Hotel.

What day are you getting there?
Wednesday

Who will you be rooming with?
I guess nobody.

Who will you hang out with during the convention?
Anybody I can find...which again means it will probably be nobody. But hey, if you see me putzing around the halls, feel free to pull me along.

What is the best way to find you?
There probably is no "best way". I suppose you'll just have to hope to run into me. But hundreds of people do that every year, so your chances are good. I'm almost always out and about.

Are there any panels you might be attending?
I haven't seen the schedule yet. I usually make time for the fursuit parade, the masquerade, and some other major events.

What do you look like?
I look generic, believe it or not. I could describe myself, but in doing so, I'd sound like almost half the male attendees.

Will you be suiting?
Yes. Shockwave kangaroo. Search him on FA or check out my main page for details :3

Do you do free art?
I don't art.

Do you do trades?
I'd have nothing to trade.

Do you do badges/commissions?
Again, I don't art.

What is your gender?
Male.

How tall are you?
5 foot, 10 inches.

Are you in a relationship?
That's a surprisingly complicated question.

Can I talk to you?
Absolutely! Come up and say hello!

Can I touch you?
That's a creepy question. Why would you be in need of touching me? Are we playing tag? Are you it?

Can I visit your room?
There's nothing special in my room. It looks the same as anyone else's room.

Can I buy you drinks?
I don't drink.

Can I give you stuff?
No.

Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Depends on who you are. There's a few people I know that I'd like to embrace and tell them how happy I am to see them. So let's work with this rule of thumb: wait for me to initiate contact. If I don't go to hug you, don't assume you can just come up and hug me.

Are you nice?
I like to think that I am. I'm always delighted to meet new people. But I do have personal boundaries and I do enforce them.

How long are you going?
I'll be there from Wednesday afternoon through Monday morning.

Do you have an artist table?
No.

Will you be going to parties?
I have yet to be invited to a party.

Will you be performing?
No.

Do you have prints/CDs?
No.

Will you have art in the Art Show? General or Adult sections?
No.

If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Approaching me and saying hello is a good start. Waving, "hello", "hi there", stuff like that.

Can I look in your sketchbook?
Don't have one.

Can I draw in your sketchbook?
Don't have one.

Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
If you manage to find me around the time that I'm hungry, then sure! I'd certainly enjoy the company.

Can I take your picture?
Only if I'm in suit.

What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Meet lots of new people. Make some more friends that will hopefully be going next year (so that I have more people to hang out with next year). Spend lots of time with a special someone and he knows precisely who he is. Take some awesome photos. Create lots of happy memories all around.

I have returned from my father's house in New York, and I am now in possession of a motor vehicle of moderate age, decent gas mileage, and the ultimate key to advancing my life.

Spent nearly four hours on the road to get back here, but seriously worth it. Gonna head right back out in a minute to get to the DMV to get this thing registered and all that jazz.

So, as of noon today, I'm licensed to drive. I suppose I should be happier for it, but it's not really an achievement at my age. It's not a symbol of freedom, it's just another part of getting older that I'm now a part of.

I had planned to make a more grand journal/rant about all the shit this state has put me through. But the truth is that my difficulty has been due to being thrust into very, very specific life circumstances that made this process exponentially harder without any real benefit from it. Nobody would be able to relate to the circumstances and most people have the opportunity to get licensed while still living with their parents, a luxury I never had.

So I'm just going to concentrate on the upcoming difficulties. My father may or may not have a used vehicle he can sell me or give me. That seems to be up in the air but I'll see what comes from it. I'll now have to learn now all the things most teens have learned through experience or through classes from schools better funded from mine. I'll have to learn how to actually maintain a vehicle. I'll learn what the significance of those license plates really are. What to look for when the engine makes noise [x]. Stuff like that. Then I have to get insurance and learn how to deal with those parasites.

I have things on my agenda though. This year will be the first year I'll be attending AC under my own power. I don't know if I told you guys this, but I was facing the possibility of having to Greyhound it, and consequently, would not be bringing Shockwave this year if I didn't have my license and a car. Second, there's two special men in my life I want to visit. They're special for different reasons, but special just the same. I want to visit one of them before AC because even he doesn't like spending time together amidst the chaos of cons. It just doesn't work.

Third, having a license finally makes me eligible for a promotion at my job, when it next becomes available. That'll be several cans of worms when it gets opened, but it's a path I have to take. I can't stay at this position forever. I'd survive yes, but it's just not enough. Especially with inflation constantly creeping up on everyone who isn't part of the upper half of society.

So if anyone takes anything away from this journal, let it be this. Learn from my mistake. Get your driver's license when you're still living with your parents. You'd be surprised at how fast life can stack shit against you when you don't take the first opportunity for things like that.

In three days, it'll be the 21st. Millions of people around the world will be panicking over the thought of my 28th birthday!

I do occasionally indulge my vanity, and this seems to be a rather exceptional occasion anyway. What was it, last year? When there was a lunar eclipse on my birthday. This year, people are convinced the world is going to end. Damn if I ever had an inkling to be a supervillan, this would sure hit the spot.

Someday I'll have friends that live in the same time zone as me, or a loved one that doesn't live on the other side of the state, or something. And maybe I'll learn how to do something that vaguely resembles partying.

In the meantime, I'll just share some tidbit. When the dog I was taking care of at a shelter was adopted away, I learned a lot about life. I learned how "welcome home" were the two words in the world I cherished most, and I never got to say them. I learned that home truly is where the heart is, and all I know is that this isn't home. And I learned that I feel that birthdays, like Christmas, are really about other people.

I was never big on birthdays, but when I hit 21, I officially stopped caring about it altogether. There were even years I outright forgot about it. People find it odd that I could forget such a thing, but when you well and truly do not care about something and give it no thought, then it just slips your mind. If I hadn't received phone calls from my parents who were just so gushing with excitement about wishing me a happy birthday, I would have gotten through the year without noticing it.

When I was taking care of that dog, I became excited about her birthday. It was something I gave so much thought about, that I had decided to make whatever day I was going to adopt her, her birthday. That day never came, and instead, I was forced to remember the day someone else adopted her.

Despite my continued heartache over that, there are other birthdays I still remember, even if not my own. My parents of course. But I still, every year, remember the birthdays of three people whom I loved dearly and all had a significant impact on my life. I find that I even get excited to an extent when their birthdays come around, and wish that I had the means to celebrate it with them. Do something nice, throw a surprise party, something. Like Christmas, I think the joy in a birthday is best had by the other people who seize it as an opportunity to do something nice for their loved one.

March 4 - the birthday of the first woman I fell in love with. Sweet and soft-spoken, but nonetheless ready to take on the world.

November 3 - the birthday of the first man I fell in love with. He made me smile. We would talk for hours and hours and never notice the time.

December 10 - birthday of my best friend from a long time ago, and in some ways a mentor of mine as I entered early adulthood.

As life spins on, as things come and go, there are so few things in my life that I hold dear. But, these days, because of the people that came into the world those days, and then into my life, I hold them precious; for the opportunities those days represent to do something wonderful for wonderful people. I haven't been able to wish them a happy birthday in many years since they all disappeared, but I keep them in my thoughts.

I like to think that someday I'll see you again
When I do, I'll smile and tell you
That there's a slice of cake in the fridge
It's for you, your favorite flavor.

And in the corner of my room there's a little box
Has a little colorful bow, a tag with your name
A gift to show you what you mean to me
And that I'll never forget about you

I don't know where you are today
What you are up to
How life is treating you
Or even if you are in good health.

But someday, we'll walk together again
Talk together again. Laugh together again
I'll tell you I'm sorry for all the time lost
And that it's never too late to start again.

So I've finally gotten the resources together to upgrade my primary lens for my camera, along with a better quality filter to go with it. I'm now in possession of a Nikkor 17-55mm f/2.8g IF-ED. (aka this thing )

I felt that this upgrade was a long time coming, but especially now. At MFF, I found that I was at a point where what I wanted to do was beyond what my lens was capable of doing. There are those who might say that a better photographer can take amazing shots with basic equipment...and they'd be right! I've seen some of the most amazing photos taken with a disposable film camera. Because I'm not that good, I need my equipment to be more capable for when I want to push the envelope.

Another part of me feels that this was necessary anyway. Given that I've already shelled out for a decent camera body, and a good quality speedlight, perhaps it didn't make sense to continue using a beginner lens (the lens I was originally using on my camera is the one that came in the kit, aka this one ).

I'm still working on my photo technique, and I find that old habits die hard. Despite my best efforts to take fewer, higher quality photos, I ended up taking a lot of generic shots in bulk anyway. I did try a lot harder to get fursuiters to pose for me, and I tried to mix it up as best as possible and use as much scenery as I could, but I have a long way to go. It's hard because seeing fursuiters just brings out my inner child. I end up so gitty and running around gleefully that quickly pulling them aside and snapping photos just becomes a natural response. Rather, I need a much more disciplined approach where I carefully consider who and what is in the area, and try to take a unique and awesome picture based on that.

Or, I should come right out and say it, I want to be more like  abrahm. I am never shy about telling people how much I admire his work and professionalism, and while I may never be as good, I think he serves as good inspiration and a role model as for what direction I want to take my photography. I even had the opportunity to watch him work a bit with his photographing of Tobias at MFF. It was quite educational to watch (and don't worry, I didn't dishonorably "snipe" any photos of my own. I just watched). I swear Abrahm has photography down to a mathematical science and an art at the same time.

Sometime in the future I also want to acquire a fish-eye lens. I don't think I'll need anything beyond that. At least, at this time I can't foresee using any more than that.

MFF was pretty much non-stop for me. I didn't bring my suit, and as I mentioned in a prior journal, a lot of the people I knew canceled their MFF plans last-minute. So, got to do a very minimal amount of socializing and no suiting. Which means I spent about 12 hours a day doing my photography thing.

So I'm rather exhausted, my back is killing me, and I picked up con crud for the last day and a half of the con. My left eardrum refused to depressurize for several hours after my flight in. And I have to work tonight. So, no rest for the weary.

Therefore, I'm not going to do a short "MFF - personal reflections" journal at this time. Not until I recover. However there is something else I wanted to get the ball rolling on, so I'm just going to leave this here and see what sort of response I get.

I want to offer something on a trial basis here. Usually, I post everything in chronological order, but I want to very slightly deviate from that this year. If you happened to know that you got your photo taken by me at MFF, and you're in some sort of hurry to see it, drop me a note/IM/comment/shout telling me the approximate time it was (within several hours would work, even a "morning/midday/afternoon/evening"), and the day of the week it was. I'll look on your FA page for a reference to your suit, run through my list of photos for that day/time, and bump it to the top of my to-do list.

Right now I happen to know of two people who expressed such a desire at the con. One is Lacy/Fursuiting, whom asked me to take her photo with a recent creation of hers so I'll be digging up that photo ASAP. Also, Sunday night, there was a fursuit pyramid that just kinda sorta developed in front of me and apparently I became the unofficial official photographer for it by default, so I'll be digging up those photos as well.

You just couldn't leave well enough alone, could you? Well, this is actually a convention checklist for myself. I plan on leaving this on here permanently, and just going over this every year when I attend a convention.

Since you're here anyway, and I know you're here because how else would you be reading this?, feel free to suggest something I might have missed.

The Checklist

Suitcase
*Full set of clothes [x] number of days going [+] 2
*Sweaters/gloves/other low-temp gear optional
*Jacket
*Pack sandals and wear sneakers if going by road or rail. If flying, wear sandals with socks on because fuck you fashion and pack sneakers
*Hygiene equipment

Hygiene equipment
*Toothbrush
*toothpaste
*flossers
*Deodorant
*cologne
*razor
*shave gel
*scissors
*spare glasses
~--lens cleaner
~--cloth
*Contact lenses
~--lens case
~--cleaning solution
*Q-tips
*band-aids
*Earplugs

The camera
*case
*camera body
*lens
*filter
~--lens cleaner
~--cloth
*cover
*lens hood
*empty high-speed memory cards x 2
*backup standard memory cards x 2
*Memory card reader
*charged batteries x 2
*camera battery charger
*speedlight
*three sets of rechargeable batteries for speedlight
*speedlight battery charger x 2
*speedlight battery tester
*speedlight diffuser
*remote shutter release
*tripod
*tripod carrying bag
*vest

portability
*laptop
*laptop power cord
*external hard drive
*external HD power cord
*external HD-to-PC USB cord
*cell phone
*cell phone power cord
*Zune
*Zune outlet-to-USB power station
*Zune power cord
*watch

The fursuit
*Head
*ears
*battery pack
*Body
*padding x 4
*gloves
*feet
*tail
~--belt
*belacalov
*underarmor pants
*underarmor shirts
*underarmor socks
*vest
*brushes
*Disinfectant-type Febreeze
*metal rack
*head fan
*body fan
*hanger fan
~--Hanger fan power cord
*sewing kit
*extra undergarments for sweating through x 3
*Travel-size body wash for cleansing underarmor
*power strips
*Extra towels

The lead-up
*Haircut
*Trim and maintain beard
*Plan and set EVE training queue
*review photography notes
*withdraw money from bank
~--entirely in 1's and 5's for ease of use in dealer's den and tipping
*Monthly backup of important materials from computer
*Review and plan out transportation
~--Go over itenerary if flying
~--Review bus routes if applicable
~--Check convention page for important phone numbers to have in address book
*Crush the hopes and dreams of the Soviet empire
*Check with convention roommates
*Check convention hotel to make sure reservation is still okay
*unplug alarm clock and remove backup batteries
*unplug all electronic devices around the apartment
*Review and set the time/date on camera
*Check charge status for camera and speedlight batteries
*Check for planned meet-ups or parties
*Check with friends to see who else is attending the convention
*Make sure any bills that normally come due during the vacation are paid in advance
*Pick out custom badges to wear
*Lanyard

If flying
*Carry all normally-pocketed items in a pouch for ease of x-raying
*Double-check self for box cutters (TSA was not amused)
*Wear sandals
*Pack a sweater into carry-on if not already worn
*Pack a scarf into carry-on if not already worn
*Triple-check to make sure ID is in wallet

Yeesh, going on vacation is just so much work.

I wish kangaroos weren't bipolar clawed death machines. Because I watch videos like this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD_yUKB85HM&list=HL1351130836&feature=mh_lolz and I I can't help but squeal with how fucking cute that kangaroos is. Along with, "damn I wish I could pet him a little behind the ears". Right afterwards, that part of my brain that deals with logic chimes in with, "Oh, you can go ahead and give him a little pet. You'll make a fantastic entry on 1000 ways to die".

Seriously. Kangaroos are cute and so interesting. I just wish they were at least as docile as most horse breeds so people could just go up and pet them and have their pictures taken with them without tempting the Grim Reaper.

It doesn't matter where you work, or who you work for. It doesn't matter what your company does, or what you yourself do. There are five general rules that every employee, regardless of their position, should enforce while at work.

1- The common sense clause. Any order you intend to execute, or any order you delegate out to others, needs to pass the common sense clause. If the order defies common sense, disregard the order.

2- Don't waste my time. Orders and directives given must have a clear and definable goal, even if that goal is hard or impossible to measure directly or indirectly. Said goals must relate to improving the business in some fashion (even if indirectly, like, say, improving morale). If the order has no goal and/or does nothing to improve the business, then disregard the order.

3- It gets done right the first time. Mistakes are one thing, but don't half-ass something. If it isn't done right, then it simply isn't done.

4- Everybody is accountable. I hold myself to the highest standards. Likewise, I hold my subordinates, my peers, my superiors, and their superiors to the same standards.

5- Respect. First and foremost, you respect your peers, subordinates, and superiors. Demand the same in return. Don't settle for anything less. Anybody who defies this gets shown the door.


I manage by these rules. I live by these rules.

I was at work thinking about how I work and how I make others work. I never really formalized it before, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that if you're going to seriously be in a position of any authority, there are some rules that really have to be followed.

I may tweak the wording here over time, but I thought I'd throw this out there as food for thought.

...happens to be on my birthday! Any of you who might remember my birthday journal last year wouldn't be surprised, but yes, the Mayan end of the world thing is happening on my birthday. The occasional advertisement up in the corner of FA is a nice little reminder of the special occasion in that a larger-than-normal amount of people will be celebrating that day. So, yay me I guess?

So, I want to do....something. I don't know. But it should be fun. Get a commission perhaps? I'd throw a party except I don't know anybody who'd attend and I also don't know how to properly throw one.

I want ideas. What do you guys think I should do to mark this occasion? The world will only end on my birthday once (we hope), so we've got to make this count!

*Disclaimer: I know the world isn't going to end. It's just an excuse to do something special this year.