I really needed to make a new journal, so why not do it now. Life is being really tough right now. Got dumped about a week before my birthday, her immediately sleeping with the guy she had been hanging out with, and then going out with him, which is totally okay, because as she put it, "I removed you on facebook, before changing my relationship status from being with you, to being with him, to keep you from getting hurt, seeing pictures of him and I together, kissing and stuff." Not to mention that when she talks to me about a month after the break up, and we talk on the phone, one of the first hard things going on in her life, that she feels the need to tell me about, is how she had had a pregnancy scare, and had thought she was pregnant for about a month. Think about how long that was since our breakup, and you can see what type of girl she is.

I have also been working at my new job at Publix for about 4 months now, and am fighting to get moved to full time. There are a lot of good people there, but some bad too. I have been working my ass off though, and am at least proud of that.

I am also trying to quit drinking some, outside of occasions and stuffles, as during my time dating Karen, and after the breakup, never before, had I ever drank so much, or so often. With the clinical depression, cutting, and thoughts of suicide being bad enough, I found myself getting drunk every night, often drinking a 750 ml, or greater, sized bottle of vodka or rum in two to three nights. I am surprised how well I was able to hold up, as that is a lot, but I seem to have a high tolerance to it, and outside of feeling a little sick a few times, most likely from being on the verge of needing to get help or something, I was never hungover.

I am trying to better myself, and am hoping I will actually find the girl that must exist out there for me, but for now, I am trying to just be a good puppy, and to slowly heal from everything. To anyone that actually reads all of this, and stuff, please leave a comment or something. It really helps to see that people care. Thank you all for caring about this silly Shiba Fox. <3<3<3

Made a pounced as some of my fur siblings told me to. I hope I hear from some cool furs. Also, I am about to go to D.C. this weekend, and will be there for about ten days. I will be visiting my sister with my family for Thanksgiving. I don't want to be there that long, as I am not a fan of big cities, and am not really wanting to spend that much time up there when most of the people I want to hang out with are back here. Also, I am supposed to get another raise soon, for being cross trained. They are giving me crap for taking so much time off, and saying I will have to work a lot around Christmas. It sucks, but it is the way it is. I guess that is enough of an update for now. I should go sleep. http://pounced.org/personals/viewad.php?hpad=42204

Last night, a guy that was a bit of a friend of mine, and an old coworker of mine, was robbed and then murdered in cold blood. It was all caught on the security cameras of the papa Johns he was the manager of. He complied with everything they asked, and they still shot him. http://www.wsmv.com/story/26837762/.....ns-in-columbia He was only 22. A year in a half older than me. I am praying for his family. He did not deserve it.

I just want to have something else up here. I finally got my raise at work. Since I have been there since march 29, we have pretty much always been understaffed. I made a list, and as best as I could remember as I wrote their names down, we have lost 20 people since I started. Quit, fired, gone because of medical stuff, etc. I have seen a whole lot. It is weird thinking about it, and figuring out that I am one of the old hands now, compared to most.

I have had a bunch of guys and a handful of gals hitting on me as of late. I am done dating anyone that is more than two years younger than me. I am also not interested really in dating right now

Well, my mate http://www.furaffinity.net/user/alliaxy abandoned me tonight for the guy she had cheated on me with, left me for, come back to me after he broke up with her as he found out she had been dating me the whole time, before him even, and had lied to us both, came back to me promising to change, and then left me after about a week, to go for him again. All three girls I have ever dated have cheated on me a ton. I give up

I guess an update is really needed. Life has been really up and down, but right now, things are okay. I have started dating a wonderful girl whom I love dearly. http://www.furaffinity.net/user/alliaxy/ I am hoping to visit her soon. I am also working now, and am trying to get the help I need for my anxiety and clinical depression. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers, and know I love you all.

I really don't know where to begin with this. On the evening of the 14th, my mate of almost 6 months, revealed that she no longer loved me, and that our relationship was filled with lies. Among the bigger lies, the drunken mistake in which she lost her virginity was not only not drunken, but 5 times, two of which were unprotected. As if that was not bad enough, the next day I had to move into my college dorms having cried most of the night after some family guests left, and managed 2 hours of sleep, and am now finishing my first day of college. I am extremely depressed and broken hearted. Not to mention very stressed. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. I am completely overwhelmed. As a side note, we had been on a break for about a month now, as she said she was two stressed over everything. I guess I know why she was stressed. That many lies would be a bitch to keep up with.

Here it is guys and gals. This guy is awesome, but not nearly well enough known. Please give it a look, and give him a hug. Thanks

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4698180/

I am going to graduate from high school in about 2 hours. I am nervous, and happy, and on edge. I just thought I would put this here. I love all of y'all. Please take care
Shiibii

I dont know what this will accomplish, but I need to talk about this, and decided to make a journal. My girlfriend, Bekah, has been having to suffer through a ton of stuff. Her parents are assholes, and she has to help care for 8 siblings, as she is the second oldest, and the oldest in the house. She kept getting in trouble with her parents as they were constantly dominating her, and causing her anguish, but it took a much worse turn a few days ago. On Monday night, she was in the ER for five and a half hours because she told the police she was suicidal. The police who had come to their house, because she had taken her phone back from her parents, so she could keep from being isolated. In the hospital, her father was taunting her. Saying. " what are you going to do." On the way home, he stopped the car, and told her she should leave. They are pushing her to this. There is more background stuff, but I don know where to begin. I now have to try to communicate through letters, or by trying to call her home phone. I hate this, as I am trying to do all I can to help her, sending letters, care packages, and my love to her, but I feel so helpless.

I really don't know what else to say, so I will again just ask for your thoughts and prayers to go out to us during this. Thank you

Just an extra bit of info, she is a fur, but lives like 8 hours away, so I cant help as much as I wish.

Ask me anything you feel like. I am going to keep this going for a while, so please ask.

I saw this posted by http://www.furaffinity.net/user/midknightfox/ and I had to do it too. Lets get some comments.
If you comment here, I will


1) Tell you something I learned about you by looking at your FA page for 10 seconds.
2) Tell you a color you remind me of.
3) Tell you my first memory of you.
4) Ask you a question.
5) Tell you something I like about you.
6) Tell you the object that is in front of me.
7) Dare you to do this yourself in your own journal!

I turn 19 today! Whooooo! Too bad I have to work after school until ten tonight, and then this weekend. I will have to celebrate later, but am going to put a downpayment on my fursuit today!
Time for birthday kisses, and spankings!

I am an avid shooter, and I really want to get some furs together to hit the range with. It would be a great time to do it, and I am sure it would be a lot of fun. I am a member of a nice range, and am off now on winter break, so any local furs, please hit me up. If you have never shot before, I can teach you. I am really easy going, and safety conscious.
Here is the link to the range. http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CDIQFjAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fchmr.us%2F&ei=r63jUO6lE5Ho8QTN24E4&usg=AFQjCNGZc_YRsvNN8WuBlJjDM2i7eolHpg

I am on my way to a party to celebrate a family friend, Igor's Citizenship. This should be wonderful. He is an artist, and in the past, was a Russian sniper, and survived being sent to chernobyl where he was spared from the radiation that killed all his unit, because his artistic ability landed him the job of drawing operations maps for the commanders in an underground bunker. I think I am going to be the designated driver. It is going great so far.

I have been meaning to post a new journal with all that has been going on, so lets begin. My family is better, and I am not deaing with any thing with them right now. My mother had asked me what I really wanted for Christmas, and I kind of felt bad that could not tell her that what I really want would be for them to help me pay for my partial that I am getting quotes on. (BTW, any one that knows any good fursuit makers, please link them. It would mean a lot to me.) I got some great news on Wednesday, when I finally got a letter saying I had been accepted to the college I was really wanting to go to. I also managed to live through the end of the world (as if it was going to end then), and went to a fur party about it on friday, at which, my master got drunk, and I had a great time. I finished up all my exams on the 21st, and am now on break. Also managed to mail Milly's present.

For those who have missed the fiirst bit, https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4115308/ .
It is always odd how my mother reacts. Yesterday afternoon, she was a bit calmer, and kinder. She said I may get allowed to use the internet soon, and reminded me that
Will finish this shortly.
Ok. Took a lot longer to get back to this than expected. More new developments, I am typing this out on my laptop right now, and my mother seems to have calmed down a lot. She says I may get my phone back tomorrow, but if I screw up again, it will be a flip-phone. I replied with a vieled threat telling her to try it. Still super stressed, as I have several tests in these next two days, and exams next week. I also have make up work to do. It is just going to be crazy for a while longer I guess. Please comment if you feel led to, as I love to see that people actually read this. More later, but for now, I will sleep.

My family has gone apeshit on me, and has taken away a whole bunch of stuff/privliges. The reason I have to get off around 10 is that my mother is being a total bitch about me needing to get more sleep, and trust issues. She has me leave my phone and computer in their room at night, and I can get them in the morning. Well, I messed up. Last night, I was rping with my pet on my phone, and was in in the bathroom where I had gone to take my shower. My mom came into the sink section of the bathroom, and was asking where my phone was. I had just jumped into the shower, and had my phone on the window sill. I told her where it was, and she quickly berated me and I lied to her, and said I was not doing anything wrong. She took my phone to plug it up, and when she did, my skype immediately popped up. I got a bit of a lecture last night, with the whole, we have tried to help you, but you keep doing bad things, and lying to us. They said we would talk about it more in the morning. This mornig, I was just waking up, when my mother comes in yelling at me that she is taking me to school in ten mins, and that if I am not ready, she will take my dad to the bus, and make me 30 mins late. She was being relly hard, and kept rushing me and talking very harshly. She drove around and honked at me to get in, and ran me to school super early, telling me how I needed to shape up, if I did not want to end up like the son of a family friend who has been homeless, in jail, and broken. I think if anything, I will be the brother that killed himself, and drove him to that. I have no access to my phone, or laptop, and am writing this from my school after bypassing the block. Please pass word to our local group, that I am not abandaning them, and to keep me in their thoughts and prayers. Also, that I dont do anything reckless, or permanent. I am not suicidal at the moment, but with all that is going on, I fear it will come back with avengence. I will be trying to check back throughout the day, so please try to respond. Hope your day is better.
Forrest "F-unit"

I have to say that this is one of the most interesting gift auctions I have found. Please check it out if you get the chance.

http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4073585/
http://www.furaffinity.net/user/kyozafox/

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4062039/
Please check it out if you get the chance. This is an interesting twist on the freebies theme.

You should get in on it if you can. She is a great artist, and this is a good opportunity to get a chance at free art. http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/4039923/

Hey mates. If you would pass this messege on to any furs who you know. I need thoughts and prayers. I was on the way from the nashfur meeting to a friend's house when I got a call from my mom. My dad was just found unconcious on the bike trail, where it looks like he had an accident. He is now in the ER waiting on them to take him back. They believe he broke his foot, and possibly his shoulder, has a concussion, and they are going to do a cat scan on his head for a TBI, as he hit it pretty badly, and was bleeding from there. Some other people found him there, and when their phone did not work, they used his to call my mother, who then took him to the ER. I just got here a few mins ago, and he seems to out of it, his foot is swollen, and he is complaining about his shoulder and head. He was not wearing a helmet, the jackass. He is a freaking doctor.
Well I have to go, so please keep myself and my family in your thoughts and prayers.
Thanks
UPDATE!!
He is doing better. He has suffered a tbi, and has a bit of blood trapped within his skull, but they think that will slowly be absorbed.He did break his collarbone, and part of his foot. He is talking more coherently, and is able to converse better, outside of using the wrong words for things sometimes. They are keeping him there for at least 24 hours, but are hopeful that he will recover pretty fully. My mom is staying there tonight in the waiting room in case anything comes up.

I would like a bit of advice. I am trying to decide between doing two things this weekend. I can either go to a Fall church retreat, or relax, and go to the local Furmeet. I like my church, and the retreat looks very ood, but I have not had a weekend to relax during in several weeks. I would like to go to the furmeet, as I really enjoy them, and feel like they are helping me overcome some bad depression that I had been battling for some time. I guess this is the part where I ask for yalls opinions. Also, on a different note, I think it may finally be time to start keeping my windows rolled up while driving, at least at night anyway. It is getting a bit nippy, and I saw my breath while driving home tonight.
One other thing, I cant stop thinking in German, and it is driving me mad. I keep having to stop and translate my thoughts, and remind my self to speak in english to my family, and friends.

Several of my friends are doing it, so I am throwing my hat into the ring. Ask me anything.