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I turned down a vegetable picking job.
Posted 7 months agoThe celery they offered me wasn't acceptable.
Why don't americans use the metric system?
Posted 8 months agoBecause they have a foot fetish.
I keep forgetting how to say "white" in French
Posted 8 months agoMy mind just keeps going Blanc.
I once swung an axe and hit my car
Posted 8 months agoIt was an axe dent
I havent posted a pun since last year
Posted 8 months agoyea
What does Santa call his meanest reindeer?
Posted 9 months agoRude-olf.
Why is hot soup the dorkiest food?
Posted 9 months agoBecause it's just not cool.
I bought myself a cool wig today
Posted 10 months agoIt was a small price toupee.
What do you call an ant that joined the army?
Posted 10 months agoA combat-ant.
What do you call someone who only has sex with hookers?
Posted 10 months agoA buy-sexual.
I burned 2000 calories today.
Posted 11 months agoI left the pizza in the oven too long.
Moved to Blusky
Posted 11 months agoSince Elon Musk is an insufferable moron, I will no longer be posting pics to Twitter for the foreseeable future.
Follow me on Blusky instead! https://bsky.app/profile/mrblueskye.bsky.social
Follow me on Blusky instead! https://bsky.app/profile/mrblueskye.bsky.social
I wear headphones whenever I go to sleep.
Posted 11 months agoJust to make sure i'm sound asleep.
What does copper say whenever it leaves?
Posted 11 months agoCu
Level 24 (not a pun)
Posted 12 months agoWill be 24 years old in about 7.5 hours as of writing this post
Hbd to me
Hbd to me
Dogs bark around 500 times a day.
Posted a year agoBut I mean, that's just a ruff estimate.
How do you make the number one dissapear?
Posted a year agoYou just add a G, and now it's gone.
Chickens only ever have one joke
Posted a year agoThat's because they cant think outside of the bawks.
Do you know how long fish should be cooked?
Posted a year agoProbably the same way as short fish.
What do you call a cow spying on another cow?
Posted a year agoA steak out.
What did the pacific ocean say to the atlantic?
Posted a year agoNothing. They just waved at each other.
What kind of insect has great hygeine?
Posted a year agoA deodor-ant.
What's the most dangerous type of canoes?
Posted a year agoVolcanoes.
How much does a chimney cost?
Posted a year agoNothing. It's on the house.
What did the cupcake say to the other one?
Posted a year ago"You ain't seen muffin yet."
