So i went to the show and you know what it was a train wreck. the people running it failed to advertise the event itself, they didn't check the venue before booking it. turnout was so painfully low that other vendors closed up shop halfway through day one. it was hot as hell because there was no AC, it rained and the roof leaked. made zero sales on day two

got a call that my internet is about to be shut off because the card on file has been locked for non payment, this is how ive been applying all over the damn place

tried to call the cc company and they said just to defer payment its 381 and gave me the link to the career site.
tried to call the electric company and tell them about my situation and all they said was its just going to roll into the next month, and that's their payment arrangements

im going to fucking scream

i know i haven't posted squat up here like i said i would but life is hard. it just is and so many things just pulled out of my account out of the blue but its okay! i hope- i have a con this weekend its prepaid but it is outside city limits which is at best inconvenient but it did pretty well from what i hear last year. so heres to hoping this year does well too! i been applying like crazy to places and all i have is an understanding of how many people are willing to scam job seekers. like we literally have nothing thats why were out job hunting and STILL theres scammers!? thankfully i caught and reported them before anything could happen to me and i have a job interview monday!
so overall this week looks good! last week i absolutely spun out and everything is awkward but things will pick up! things will get better!

on a side note people are baffling creatures. standing in line at DES for food stamp assistance and i witnessed a family get broken up cause dude showed up with girl b not knowing girl a was there with kids. but neither of them wanted to lose their place in line so they where just yelling at each other from across the line until the guard came and just, stood there.

I'm still taking commissions i still need help but im feeling more hopeful, at least this week : D

so the area i live is so awkward, i didnt realize this when i purchased it because i bought this home i worked from home so it didnt matter. then i got a job literally up the street and all was well in the world. but now. now we have a problem my area is a fucking dead zone for jobs, every single job i apply for does not have the location listed and when i find out where it is its MINIMUM one hour away from me. why does no one list job locations!?
thats INSANE!
i went to a job interview last week to be a dispatcher for the county right, i got an email back stating they liked my interview and i should get an update in about six months.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????

did another interview yesterday for a damn call center because the standards are on the floor over there. i was INVITED TO INTERVIEW then when i got there, i had to fill out a paper application after filling out the online application. then i had a fucking MATH TEST. on the typing test a key got jammed on the keyboard and someone stopped me to ask questions during the exam. apparently i passed anyway and moved on to the interview where i was informed that they where looking for someone who was already trained. i was able to yap at the recruiter anyway and they have another project that might suit me but its not available TIL NOVEMBER.

i dont get it man. i just dont get it. at this point its easier to start a business than get a job.

i used to think it was like really wild that people who wound up unemployed would kill themselves or get violent. but i have been without a job for like 3 weeks and I'm starting to panic. all i can do is watch my bills pile up and every time we need something i have to put it on my credit card which i cant pay. i've been applying for help from places but they have a new stipulation that the help can only be for one month and i have to prove that i have the following months mortgage/rent available. why would i need help if i had that? i'm trying to apply for food stamp assistance and no matter what i do they need to hear that i don't have a job, i had to call my old boss to get my dismissal paperwork and they're such a small company she had to make it up or something so it wasn't acceptable and i now i don't know how to prove i don't have a job.
ive applied for unemployment but they take 30 days to kick in if you get it but even if you don't get it you still have to apply once weekly and prove that you've been trying to get a job in at least 4 different ways every week.
id love to take commissions but i spend so much time filling out applications and for jobs and assistance its like there's nothing left. i have a few conventions that are prepaid so between trying to make inventory for that and all the time spent on applications i feel like i have no time left for anything.
i have nothing and ive never been busier with nothing to show for it.

the risk here is that if i go unemployed for too long i lose my home and ill have to give my kid to her father if i wind up homeless again and my mom cant afford to move with anyone else. i'm fucking scared and i dont know what to do about anything. suddenly this leading to people killing themselves makes so much more sense- i just dont know how to live like this.

alright so its been only just a few hours and i am TRIPPIN BALLS but also not really.
while i absolutely hated my job and feel like i was wrongly terminated but being in the state im in there ain't much for it. the most important thing about this thing is timing, this was absolutely abhorrent timing, i have never been more in debt in my life after a string of things just going absolutely a wry. i dont have a dryer i dont have so much and i have so much due soon so yes, i am applying a million places and applying for unemployment and every scrap of assistance i can get but also i dont wanna sit and do nothing.

which doing all that isnt nothing, but im impatient and hate waiting around sooo

ill be sewing and drawing at speeds not seen in YEARS!

so you can count on me trying my best to be more active here but you know what im also mostly here
https://www.facebook.com/Sewitchy/

so, what would you like to see from me during this time?

i wanna do more work and post so many updates and progress pics but lately everything outta wack and i am just tired. the electricity in the front of my house crapped out, we got it repaired, then the dryer crapped out and iwas like ok, ok. its just a dryer i like in the desert we can throw up a clothes line and call it good. so the fridge busted too lol
we have a new one on the way but man. this all happened within a week of each other. and the kicker?

i had a bonus check RIGHT BEFORE THIS!
so i thought i would be smart and use it to pay bills ahead of time. so as soon as the money was gone everything went wrong lol

How can timing be like THIS!?

im gonna be doing more stuff and things but for now im tired

so been clicking on journal forever and just exploring my page. i cannot believe how long it took to realize where the upload journal option is lol