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I HAVE MOVED. PLEASE FOLLOW ME AT MY NEW ACCOUNT.
Posted 7 years agoIt's been a good long run, but this account is officially a gravesite. I will not be making any further posts or uploads. Please follow me at my new account:
Lonan Lonan Lonan
Lonan Lonan Lonan
Lonan Lonan Lonan
Lonan Lonan Lonan
Lonan Lonan Lonan
Lonan Lonan Lonan
If I owe you a commission, please note me at the new account with a brief summary of the commission details as a reminder, as I will not be logging into this account anymore barring any special circumstances.
Thanks everyone for your time and cooperation.
Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan Lonan If I owe you a commission, please note me at the new account with a brief summary of the commission details as a reminder, as I will not be logging into this account anymore barring any special circumstances.
Thanks everyone for your time and cooperation.
Final journal, big announcements. IMPORTANT NEWS.
Posted 7 years agoI dreaded for days having to post anything like this, I considered not saying anything at all and being very clandestine about how I go about messaging people waiting on commissions from me. As it stands, I could not live with myself if I weren't totally transparent and honest no matter how poorly it might reflect on me, so I'll just have to come out and say what happened.
Basically, though I haven't narrowed down an exact cause or resolution, my PC of about 3 years now died. Briefly. I've managed to partially resurrect it with some exchanged budget parts, but not everything could be recovered. 5 hard drives were installed, some HDD, some SSD, with backups of all my most important working files both commission related and personal spread across each of them. As of today, after about a week of diagnosing, not a single one of those drives has been recovered. The data remains locked, the drives non-responsive, and while I was hoping against hope that it was just an issue with the SATA controller or their ports or something minor like that, I'm gonna have to come to face the reality sooner rather than later that all of those drives have likely been completely fried beyond recovery. I've been incredibly careful about making sure I had backups for everything, but I guess having all of my backups on internal drives was the wrong move to make. Never in my years of building custom rigs have I ever had ALL of the connected hard drives fail at exactly the same time without warning.
I know it's easy to assume this is an excuse to further delay pictures I've owed, and while I do understand why some people would feel that way, don't get it twisted--I was making good progress on the screenplay for the film I was set to start shooting this year, having already entered pre-production stages. All my copies of that screenplay, along with all my production notes and test photography, have been lost as well. All of my electronic military and medical records, all of my other scripts and stories, all of my casual photography...everything I've ever put work into for basically the past 5 years, gone. Believe me. This hurts me more than anyone else. I still have every intention of delivering on those commissions, but as it stands, I don't have a job to provide the income I need to pay for both computer and car repairs, or to buy some expensive data recovery service to recover all of that info. Rough estimate it was about 8 TB of files lost...even the cheapest of backdoor data recovery services would charge an arm and a leg for that much recovery.
So I'm using this as an opportunity to announce the big change I've had in the works for almost a full year now: With the help of FA staff I've recovered an abandoned profile with the username that fits my new, permanent character. This has been a change long in the making, and it's more than just a casual fursona swap; having assumed the identity of this nameless deer for almost a decade and the "Faradin" handle even longer still, it was time to shake things up and fall into a groove that better suits my personality and my creative drives. The character is a cosmetic change, but for a platitude of reasons I will be leaving this profile behind to transfer all of my future uploads and activity to Lonan. Please follow me there if you want to see further uploads from me--no I won't be closing this page or deleting all the artwork, but in the coming weeks I will stop logging into it altogether, it will be just an archival gallery. This goes double for anyone waiting on art or stories from me, as I would ask that you PLEASE NOTE ME there just as a reminder of who I owe and what I owe you. I had several WIP files listed and categorized for everyone, but those are all gone and I'll be starting from scratch, so don't count on me to just remember outright what it is I need to do. I realize fully this is a horrible inconvenience piled on top of a year of anxious waiting, and I wish I could say that I were a better and more reliable person than my actions have proven. Hopefully this new image and profile will be a fresh start for me to prove that I can be that person.
I'll post a reminder journal here in a few days or weeks just as a final notice, but for now, please direct all of your watches HERE. >>> <<<
Thank you, and I'm sorry again.
Basically, though I haven't narrowed down an exact cause or resolution, my PC of about 3 years now died. Briefly. I've managed to partially resurrect it with some exchanged budget parts, but not everything could be recovered. 5 hard drives were installed, some HDD, some SSD, with backups of all my most important working files both commission related and personal spread across each of them. As of today, after about a week of diagnosing, not a single one of those drives has been recovered. The data remains locked, the drives non-responsive, and while I was hoping against hope that it was just an issue with the SATA controller or their ports or something minor like that, I'm gonna have to come to face the reality sooner rather than later that all of those drives have likely been completely fried beyond recovery. I've been incredibly careful about making sure I had backups for everything, but I guess having all of my backups on internal drives was the wrong move to make. Never in my years of building custom rigs have I ever had ALL of the connected hard drives fail at exactly the same time without warning.
I know it's easy to assume this is an excuse to further delay pictures I've owed, and while I do understand why some people would feel that way, don't get it twisted--I was making good progress on the screenplay for the film I was set to start shooting this year, having already entered pre-production stages. All my copies of that screenplay, along with all my production notes and test photography, have been lost as well. All of my electronic military and medical records, all of my other scripts and stories, all of my casual photography...everything I've ever put work into for basically the past 5 years, gone. Believe me. This hurts me more than anyone else. I still have every intention of delivering on those commissions, but as it stands, I don't have a job to provide the income I need to pay for both computer and car repairs, or to buy some expensive data recovery service to recover all of that info. Rough estimate it was about 8 TB of files lost...even the cheapest of backdoor data recovery services would charge an arm and a leg for that much recovery.
So I'm using this as an opportunity to announce the big change I've had in the works for almost a full year now: With the help of FA staff I've recovered an abandoned profile with the username that fits my new, permanent character. This has been a change long in the making, and it's more than just a casual fursona swap; having assumed the identity of this nameless deer for almost a decade and the "Faradin" handle even longer still, it was time to shake things up and fall into a groove that better suits my personality and my creative drives. The character is a cosmetic change, but for a platitude of reasons I will be leaving this profile behind to transfer all of my future uploads and activity to
Lonan. Please follow me there if you want to see further uploads from me--no I won't be closing this page or deleting all the artwork, but in the coming weeks I will stop logging into it altogether, it will be just an archival gallery. This goes double for anyone waiting on art or stories from me, as I would ask that you PLEASE NOTE ME there just as a reminder of who I owe and what I owe you. I had several WIP files listed and categorized for everyone, but those are all gone and I'll be starting from scratch, so don't count on me to just remember outright what it is I need to do. I realize fully this is a horrible inconvenience piled on top of a year of anxious waiting, and I wish I could say that I were a better and more reliable person than my actions have proven. Hopefully this new image and profile will be a fresh start for me to prove that I can be that person.I'll post a reminder journal here in a few days or weeks just as a final notice, but for now, please direct all of your watches HERE. >>>
<<<Thank you, and I'm sorry again.
Can't catch a break
Posted 8 years agoI realize it's been a while since my last update, and I know there wasn't much to it--I do apologize to the people still waiting on commissions.
Long story short, after the debacle with my old car, I finally got a new one, and drove it for less than 2 months before today I was rear ended while heading home from work. This may not have been a big issue, had I not just a few days ago lowered my coverage/increased my deductible with my insurance to bring the cost of my bill down so I could start saving money again. So it's like every little step of progress I make, I literally get buttfucked and set back yet again.
Haven't heard back from the insurance company yet to see how much this will cost me out of pocket, but I'm not expecting good news. The best I can say is that an end is in sight: end of October, I'll be moving, and very likely to a place where rent will be nothing. If so, I'm gonna take some time off, relax, and just enjoy life for a while, and use the new bounty of free time to catch up on work. Otherwise, I'll do the best I can.
Long story short, after the debacle with my old car, I finally got a new one, and drove it for less than 2 months before today I was rear ended while heading home from work. This may not have been a big issue, had I not just a few days ago lowered my coverage/increased my deductible with my insurance to bring the cost of my bill down so I could start saving money again. So it's like every little step of progress I make, I literally get buttfucked and set back yet again.
Haven't heard back from the insurance company yet to see how much this will cost me out of pocket, but I'm not expecting good news. The best I can say is that an end is in sight: end of October, I'll be moving, and very likely to a place where rent will be nothing. If so, I'm gonna take some time off, relax, and just enjoy life for a while, and use the new bounty of free time to catch up on work. Otherwise, I'll do the best I can.
Birthday
Posted 8 years agoOfficially 25.
Another update, hopefully the last
Posted 8 years agoI'm honestly surprised at myself that I didn't do this sooner and at some point I must have convinced myself everyone knew what was going on with me because this journal honestly feels like a repeat--but for everyone still waiting on a commission from me, I'm afraid I don't have any good news. That's not to say there have been new developments or further delays, simply the same situation caught in stasis--my car is completely dead, I can't transport myself anywhere and getting to work depends on either carpooling or spending half a paycheck on Uber rides. There's a used car dealer selling a cheap as hell car close to me, only 1700 if I recall, but trying to work out financing even for that small amount has been a time and logistical nightmare--if I had 6 months to save up, I could probably buy it outright, but there's no way it will be available that long.
I wish I had some better grand excuse as to why I haven't uploaded anything I've worked on yet, and I have been working, but the bottom line is I just can't spend 10 minutes trying to draw without tabbing back over to browse more job postings or car listings or other ways to make money from home. None of this is even mentioning the more personal grievances of my private and family life, which have only worsened an already poor financial situation. I've been a nervous wreck; I lose sleep every night one week then sleep through every day the next; I forget to buy groceries and clean my apartment and do the normal healthy things a person should be doing to take care of themselves.
None of this is to ask for sympathy--but I do have to ask for patience. The last time I was in this sort of mess it took such a toll on me that I enlisted in the military to get away from it all, and unfortunately I can't do that a second time. I absolutely love suffering for art, if I'm proud of the work I can create to share, but suffering just to suffer really fucking blows. Please don't give up on me, and I promise once things have normalized I'll be rewarding everyone's patience.
I wish I had some better grand excuse as to why I haven't uploaded anything I've worked on yet, and I have been working, but the bottom line is I just can't spend 10 minutes trying to draw without tabbing back over to browse more job postings or car listings or other ways to make money from home. None of this is even mentioning the more personal grievances of my private and family life, which have only worsened an already poor financial situation. I've been a nervous wreck; I lose sleep every night one week then sleep through every day the next; I forget to buy groceries and clean my apartment and do the normal healthy things a person should be doing to take care of themselves.
None of this is to ask for sympathy--but I do have to ask for patience. The last time I was in this sort of mess it took such a toll on me that I enlisted in the military to get away from it all, and unfortunately I can't do that a second time. I absolutely love suffering for art, if I'm proud of the work I can create to share, but suffering just to suffer really fucking blows. Please don't give up on me, and I promise once things have normalized I'll be rewarding everyone's patience.
PWYW Painterly/Lineless Commissions Open
Posted 8 years agoI want to first off thanks everyone who contributed the first time around, but also reinforce that I'm still in a tight spot and my first check from my new job won't come for at least another week. My car is in need of emergency repairs to be able to run again BY TOMORROW, and if I can't have it running by my next work shift I'll lose this job as I'm still in the probationary period and can't afford to miss any amount of work.
So while I am still practicing, I am still open for digital drawing/painting commissions, with people being able to pay whatever they want for them so long as it's reasonable. These do take quite a long time to finish and I usually have to learn a few different techniques during the creation of any given image, so not only would I be asking an amount that seems like it could help me out with a couple bills, but also something fair to the amount of work being done.
THAT SAID I will probably not be turning down anything as I do desperately need the cash.
So the terms are as follows:
PAY WHATEVER YOU WANT (PLEASE BE REASONABLE).
NO CONTENT RESTRICTIONS WHATSOEVER.*
NO CHANGES OR WIP'S--EVERY NEW PICTURE IS AN EXPERIMENT, AND I CANNOT GUARANTEE A CONSISTENT STYLE.
PLEASE ALLOW AMPLE TIME (WITHIN A WEEK) FOR THE PICTURE TO BE CREATED, AS I AM STILL APPLYING TO MANY MANY JOBS DURING MY FREE TIME.
BE SPECIFIC WITH YOUR IDEA, BUT TRY NOT TO COME UP WITH ANYTHING OVERLY COMPLEX.
Final result could look like something anywhere between this:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23125222/
Or this.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23403693/
Maybe even better, if I learn something new or get paid a lot.
Any and all takers would be greatly appreciated, and it would not only be saving me from eviction/starvation, but also helping me improve my art to a point where I may be able to do this sort of thing regularly. Comment here or send a note.
Thank you for your time and patronage.
*While I have no limits on what I will draw (art is art), I would ask that you be respectful of other users' tastes if it's something you plan on reuploading, and I would reserve the right for DNP if the content is too extreme. Please don't ask for anything illegal, either, unless you're REALLY willing to pay me off.
So while I am still practicing, I am still open for digital drawing/painting commissions, with people being able to pay whatever they want for them so long as it's reasonable. These do take quite a long time to finish and I usually have to learn a few different techniques during the creation of any given image, so not only would I be asking an amount that seems like it could help me out with a couple bills, but also something fair to the amount of work being done.
THAT SAID I will probably not be turning down anything as I do desperately need the cash.
So the terms are as follows:
PAY WHATEVER YOU WANT (PLEASE BE REASONABLE).
NO CONTENT RESTRICTIONS WHATSOEVER.*
NO CHANGES OR WIP'S--EVERY NEW PICTURE IS AN EXPERIMENT, AND I CANNOT GUARANTEE A CONSISTENT STYLE.
PLEASE ALLOW AMPLE TIME (WITHIN A WEEK) FOR THE PICTURE TO BE CREATED, AS I AM STILL APPLYING TO MANY MANY JOBS DURING MY FREE TIME.
BE SPECIFIC WITH YOUR IDEA, BUT TRY NOT TO COME UP WITH ANYTHING OVERLY COMPLEX.
Final result could look like something anywhere between this:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23125222/
Or this.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23403693/
Maybe even better, if I learn something new or get paid a lot.
Any and all takers would be greatly appreciated, and it would not only be saving me from eviction/starvation, but also helping me improve my art to a point where I may be able to do this sort of thing regularly. Comment here or send a note.
Thank you for your time and patronage.
*While I have no limits on what I will draw (art is art), I would ask that you be respectful of other users' tastes if it's something you plan on reuploading, and I would reserve the right for DNP if the content is too extreme. Please don't ask for anything illegal, either, unless you're REALLY willing to pay me off.
When someone threatens suicide.
Posted 8 years agoYou don't pretend you're too busy to listen.
You don't laugh at them.
You don't go on Twitter and tell your friends. Especially if that means actually omitting the fact that suicide was threatened, and just laughing at the rest of the cropped conversation.
Losing someone is not funny. It's not a lark, or something that can be ignored. When it happens to you--and it will--you'll know how unbearable it is, and to treat it like a joke is unforgivable.
And if you've ever attempted it yourself, and failed, and remember what it feels like, you're not gonna be the guy laughing, ever. Not even for show.
Step in, every time. Even if you don't know the person or don't like them. Fuck your jaja's, fuck your cool guy reputation. Save someone's life, and don't be an asshole about it.
Because someone loves that person, and you don't wanna be the one to tell them you let that person die when you could have helped.
Everyone fucking matters.
You don't laugh at them.
You don't go on Twitter and tell your friends. Especially if that means actually omitting the fact that suicide was threatened, and just laughing at the rest of the cropped conversation.
Losing someone is not funny. It's not a lark, or something that can be ignored. When it happens to you--and it will--you'll know how unbearable it is, and to treat it like a joke is unforgivable.
And if you've ever attempted it yourself, and failed, and remember what it feels like, you're not gonna be the guy laughing, ever. Not even for show.
Step in, every time. Even if you don't know the person or don't like them. Fuck your jaja's, fuck your cool guy reputation. Save someone's life, and don't be an asshole about it.
Because someone loves that person, and you don't wanna be the one to tell them you let that person die when you could have helped.
Everyone fucking matters.
Commissions/Funds Update
Posted 8 years agoI wanted to first off thank everyone who came out of the woodwork to buy some art off me--I seriously appreciate it to no end, I know I'm not much of an artist and it wasn't like I had a ton of references I could point to to promise what you'd be getting out of it, but it's still really encouraging that people would take that leap of faith on me. I wanted to let everyone who did buy know that I'm still working, slowly but surely, but I do also want to reinforce that I am also doing what I can to make ends meet--rent was the minimum goal, and that was almost $1000 alone, before utilities and bills, of which I have many. I just managed to clear rent yesterday, and I had a little left over to fix an ignition coil in my car, which was causing a misfire. Now I can spend more time driving to places to apply, as well as do more deliveries for Uber and other odd gigs just to stay afloat while I wait on the results of the dozens of interviews I've had. This technically means I have less time to draw, but when you have 112 waking hours in a week and no job to fill them up, it still leaves plenty of free time to do other things--and since I no longer have to scramble around like a madman before rent is due for another month, I really have MORE time to draw, so my productivity will probably spike here soon.
I have one mostly finished piece I'll be uploading here soon for a friend, after that I'll be tackling them probably from price point up--so the lowest donations first, up to the biggest, which definitely will be taking up a huge chunk of my time this month. That aside I'll also be doing some collaborative work on a secret project with
Rubberskunktoo that we'll be revealing hopefully sooner rather than later, and hopefully that'll really take off like we want it to (it's a pretty grand idea to be honest fam.)
Again thanks, everyone, every little bit helped, and I'm gonna do my part to pay it back in kind.
I have one mostly finished piece I'll be uploading here soon for a friend, after that I'll be tackling them probably from price point up--so the lowest donations first, up to the biggest, which definitely will be taking up a huge chunk of my time this month. That aside I'll also be doing some collaborative work on a secret project with
Rubberskunktoo that we'll be revealing hopefully sooner rather than later, and hopefully that'll really take off like we want it to (it's a pretty grand idea to be honest fam.)Again thanks, everyone, every little bit helped, and I'm gonna do my part to pay it back in kind.
PWYW Painterly/Lineless Commissions Open
Posted 8 years agoI've run into a tight spot financially and need to make quite a substantial hunk of money just to be able to get out of a negative bank account balance--let alone be able to pay rent and bills by the end of the month. Groceries are a luxury I can't afford at this point.
So while I am still practicing, I've decided to open for digital drawing/painting commissions, with people being able to pay whatever they want for them so long as it's reasonable. These do take quite a long time to finish and I usually have to learn a few different techniques during the creation of any given image, so not only would I be asking an amount that seems like it could help me out with a couple bills, but also something fair to the amount of work being done.
THAT SAID I will probably not be turning down anything as I do desperately need the cash.
So the terms are as follows:
PAY WHATEVER YOU WANT (PLEASE BE REASONABLE).
NO CONTENT RESTRICTIONS WHATSOEVER.*
NO CHANGES OR WIP'S--EVERY NEW PICTURE IS AN EXPERIMENT, AND I CANNOT GUARANTEE A CONSISTENT STYLE.
PLEASE ALLOW AMPLE TIME FOR THE PICTURE TO BE CREATED, AS I AM STILL APPLYING TO MANY MANY JOBS DURING MY FREE TIME.
BE SPECIFIC WITH YOUR IDEA, BUT TRY NOT TO COME UP WITH ANYTHING OVERLY COMPLEX.
Final result could look like something anywhere between this:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23125222/
Or this.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23403693/
Maybe even better, if I learn something new or get paid a lot.
Any and all takers would be greatly appreciated, and it would not only be saving me from eviction/starvation, but also helping me improve my art to a point where I may be able to do this sort of thing regularly.
Thank you for your time and patronage.
*While I have no limits on what I will draw (art is art), I would ask that you be respectful of other users' tastes if it's something you plan on reuploading, and I would reserve the right for DNP if the content is too extreme. Please don't ask for anything illegal, either, unless you're REALLY willing to pay me off.
So while I am still practicing, I've decided to open for digital drawing/painting commissions, with people being able to pay whatever they want for them so long as it's reasonable. These do take quite a long time to finish and I usually have to learn a few different techniques during the creation of any given image, so not only would I be asking an amount that seems like it could help me out with a couple bills, but also something fair to the amount of work being done.
THAT SAID I will probably not be turning down anything as I do desperately need the cash.
So the terms are as follows:
PAY WHATEVER YOU WANT (PLEASE BE REASONABLE).
NO CONTENT RESTRICTIONS WHATSOEVER.*
NO CHANGES OR WIP'S--EVERY NEW PICTURE IS AN EXPERIMENT, AND I CANNOT GUARANTEE A CONSISTENT STYLE.
PLEASE ALLOW AMPLE TIME FOR THE PICTURE TO BE CREATED, AS I AM STILL APPLYING TO MANY MANY JOBS DURING MY FREE TIME.
BE SPECIFIC WITH YOUR IDEA, BUT TRY NOT TO COME UP WITH ANYTHING OVERLY COMPLEX.
Final result could look like something anywhere between this:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23125222/
Or this.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/23403693/
Maybe even better, if I learn something new or get paid a lot.
Any and all takers would be greatly appreciated, and it would not only be saving me from eviction/starvation, but also helping me improve my art to a point where I may be able to do this sort of thing regularly.
Thank you for your time and patronage.
*While I have no limits on what I will draw (art is art), I would ask that you be respectful of other users' tastes if it's something you plan on reuploading, and I would reserve the right for DNP if the content is too extreme. Please don't ask for anything illegal, either, unless you're REALLY willing to pay me off.
