Ok, so conspiracy theorists are often mocked, especially when it involves stuff like.... Flat-earthers, people who think the moon landing was faked, people who believe in aliens. These people cannot be taken seriously by the average person, and are often used as butts of jokes. This goes into politics even.

I have seen video footage of some person who was mocking people of the opposite political faction, labeling them as.... crazy conspiracy theorists, bluntly stating that the Earth is round, the moon landing happening, no aliens exist.... saying it all to conclude with "and we are right". The person basically made the irrational conclusion that the supporters of the opposing faction are all in full support of these crazy ideas, and that their own side stands for truth and facts.

This feels so weird to me, considering how I heard people who believe in these crazy theories from ALL parts of the political spectrum. Whenever you believe the Earth is flat or not is not tied to whenever you're left or right-wing! An old-fashioned right-wing redneck and a crazy left-wing hippie could both believe that aliens exists and are kidnapping people!

Still, it's being used to mock the other side. It's used much like that extreme minority that resides within a group: to make a broad generalized statement so that the other side looks bad.

All of this makes me sometimes question what it's like to be THAT kind of person. What is it like for a right-wing flat-earther to hear someone call flat-earthers a bunch of "left-wing nuts"? What is it like for a left winger who doesn't believe the moon landing was real to be labeled as a right-winger for their beliefs? How does that reflect on them as people? Does it make them question their beliefs: both the political and the ones related to the conspiracy theories?


Just some garbage thoughts that came to my mind, heh. Thanks for reading!

In it, I was attacking Vietnam with an army, and the coast had a defensive wall which was... A giant Taco. We shot missiles at it, which made it crack, and then it transformed into a giant sentient hand, but still made from a taco shell, and the true battle began. I've returned home and I suddenly turned into Bojack Horseman, and spend time wanting to visit some of my friends in Germany, but things getting complicated made me angry, so I got drunk , destroyed a doll (which was at my home for some reason), and woke up with a piece of it stuck in my forehead, much to my shock. Then I was getting married, but whichever person I was being wed to, didn't come. Then I was invited to an awards ceremony, where I had a mental breakdown, crying behind the stage, with Princess Carolyn (another Bojack character for those who don't know) questioning what I'm doing, if it's about her, and no, it wasn't. Then I go out on the stage again and the dream ends.

Yeah, I had an idea for some really lame April Fool's thing to write today, but I figured nothing could top what my brain came up with!

They say that young people tend to be rebellious. They fight the social norms, they want to reject what their parents believed in, and be different. There was also this constant perception of the older generation always being one with the conservative mindset, being nationalistic, standing for traddition, while the youth is liberal, wanting change and a freedom of expression. This vision still seems to be stuck in many people’s heads, but I see how it’s been changing over time.

Many content creators who I used to follow online around 15 years ago, who were rebellious teens, telling edgy jokes, are now spending time …. Lecturing people about how to act, how to talk, what to think, what everyone’s political beliefs should be. Then when their audience complains, talks about how much they’ve changed, how they’re not fun anymore, they call their followers “toxic”, disable comments and complain how rough they have it. All of a sudden, being an authoritative bossy person is good, because those adults in the past… it wasn’t like we hated them for their lecturing, NO, it was just them having different views than we did. Oh wait, I’m sorry, I implied nuance and self-reflection there. They don’t speak of “different views”, but rather “hateful views”. Because of course, labeling different views as evil, silencing criticism, not accepting any nuance, and firmly being in a “everybody is dumb, but me” position is only bad and worth mocking when other people are doing it.

Perhaps this is a pointless journal, but I felt like writing it, because it makes me quite self-reflective. I still do see myself as a moron, that hasn’t changed. However, I do see how some of my former idols have truly lost their way, and have become what they claimed to oppose, and it’s quite sad, because they don’t even realize it, and we get the classic exchange:
“You've changed man. You used to be cool”
“I’m still cool!”

Ok, maybe this is a weird/odd thing to write about, but I feel like I should do it:

You see people online, you know, popular artists, video creators and maybe you get some impression that:
-oh, he/she is so happy
-they have have so many friends
-they don't have a care in the world
-their life is all set
-they know all the tricks in the book as to what being successful means

I do realize that "being successful" is very much a thing in the eye of the beholder. Even as an extremely humble person, I know that there are those who see me as some real authority on things, and this is why I felt like speaking out on this:
-I don't think I'm that happy all things considered. I get worried about things easily, and seem to constantly chase behind things, trying to catch up
-I have very few "offline friends" and I don't meet anyone frequently. I'm single, often feeling lonely, even if not being desperate for love
-I am not satisfied with what I create, I worry about where I'm heading
-I feel completely lost


Maybe it's not even true, it might be my mind playing tricks on me, but I just felt like saying it, so that everybody who follows me and thinks that I'm some .... happy upbeat person with tons of friends who's successful, then you are wrong, and .... don't feel so bad about yourself.

I'll try to keep it short, so we can get to the main topic:

One video game (title's not important!) had this plot point about there being a different world with a civilization of wise intelligent non-human beings. They were facing an apocalypse, and through some magic they were able to save the world, but that required them to offer up their lives to do it. This resulted in half of their population doing just that. One of those who survived does up asking the protagonist, if his/her people would be willing to make such a sacrifice, and is met with silence. WELL, it's a mute protagonist thing, but the facial expression suggests that they wouldn't.

There's more to this story, but I wish to focus on this part. The scene was uploaded to YouTube, and I have seen people commenting on it, writing things like:
"Of course they wouldn't!"
"Yeah, humans are incredibly selfish and greedy"
"Humans would never consider offering themselves up for others! They only think of themselves!"
and many other statements complaining about human greed.

This bothered me a lot, for many reasons, and I feel like discussing them here.

1) For one, we are not talking like an actual group of people that existed. Some writer wrote a story. Nobody offered up their lives to do anything, it's fiction. You are shaming humanity for not being as self-less as beings who never existed, who never had free will of their own.

2) As living beings we are coded to preserve our own lives. Offering up one's life for another is not something that animals were taught to do as evolution continued. Of course I know that there's situations where parents protect their cubs, but it's more of an "I have to protect them" sort of situation, as I doubt an animal engages a battle rationally knowing they will lose. Humans have the ability to make such judgment, to have certainty about the results of their action, but are still led by instinct, which dictates survival. Now of course we're talking about a magic/fantasy type of scenario with no realism behind it. It's not a situation that was meant to happen. So again, I feel like such action is not something that would come easy to any person.

3) If I'm to go deeper into this situation, it's even harder to apply to the real world, because it's a situation where enough people have to offer up their lives, until its enough to save the world. In the typical "humans are greedy scenario" we speak of situations where .... for example, the rich prosper, while the poor die. A situation where those with a lot, don't share with those who could use those resources. The said fantasy scenario functions differently, because in that scenario, those who do not offer up their lives have nothing to go to. The world is ending. Even if a small number of people offered up their lives, the rest would see that it's not enough, and some would offer themselves up too, just to save everyone else. Eventually it stopped, cause it was enough. This makes me feel like this scenario is not at all that impossible for humanity. I can see many people deciding that they are willing to give themselves up, so that others can continue their lives. Their loved ones, their friends, family.

Perhaps this is a pointless thought-experiment, but it did get stuck in my head. I thought long and hard about it, and at some point I noticed something:
Those commentators talk so badly about humanity, but they themselves are human. Are they badmouthing themselves? Probably not. It sounded very condescending and judgmental. However at the same time it did not feel like they were volunteering themselves.

If they were introspective about themselves and humanity as a whole, maybe I would be willing to see it, but the mean tone leaves me certain that by "humans" they are not exactly talking about themselves. I see this a lot when people talk about politics, "Oh humans are so stupid", and hand-waving it away in their head as them speaking about the majority.

I had to stop and think about this type of attitude and who would actually offer up their lives. Would it be people making broad generalizations about the human race, judging them? Considering them evil, greedy, and selfish? No, I think not.

I watched the cutscene in the game, and the answer to the question that was asked of the protagonist was clearly in my head. It wasn't "No, they wouldn't sacrifice themselves", but also not "Yes, they certainly would". It was:

"I would give my life to save the world"

I don't generalize humanity as one big entity and judge if it's worth saving. I look at the people in my life, think about how much I care about them, and they are most certainly worth saving, so I, as an individual, would be willing to offer up my life to save them. I feel certain that many others would do the same.

I can sooner picture billions of individuals offering themselves up for whom they love, than those condescending people, who only complain about others. I wonder how they'd felt knowing that many of those that they shamed and hated throughout the years had the will to do this great sacrifice, while they sat back and whined about how greedy and selfish everyone is.

Would they be hypocrites by rejoicing that they didn't have to do a damn thing?
Or would they feel shame that they misjudged humanity?

I do not know.

Forgive my ramblings. I simply felt like sharing.

I notice how the internet landscape has changed, and how certain people act. Naturally I realize different people act differently, but that doesn't stop one from questioning what drives them to do what they do.

I have an opinion on politics. I have my own views and beliefs. There are politicians that I despise and wish them the worst in the world. HOWEVER the people around me probably can't tell for sure what my beliefs and views exactly are. It's related to the fact that:
-I don't talk much about politics when talking with people at work
-I sometimes talk with my family, but I don't go into too much detail
-In my online videos, I don't put jabs at the politicians that I dislike
-In my comic, I do not comment on politics, I do not use it as some mouthpiece (YES, there was that one page of my comic where I did use the image of the then current President of Poland, but that would have been any President, nothing about that was me kissing up or insulting him)
-My social media isn't a huge timeline of complaints about every little single thing that politicians that I dislike do
-My social media isn't used to LIKE every post by politicians that I like
-I don't mind that people have different views on politics than me.
-I don't spend time calling people who voted for politicians that I dislike degenerates, morons, idiots
-I don't mind that my family members have different views on politics than me

In regards to my political activism, it's really limited. I was part of some marches back in the day when something very important to me was happening, but aside from that, I just go to vote during the elections, hope for the best, and if it doesn't then I just accept it, and hope for a better result next time.

But... it sometimes feels like that's looked down upon. That it's better to become this bitter hollow shell of a person who resents other people for their beliefs, falls into paranoia, tries to weed out any "traitors" from their surrounding, and devote themselves religiously to some political ideology to where there's a clear good and evil side. A very antagonistic way to look at other people. That sort of behavior scares me.

Being happy and cheerful can be so hard, so why do people insist on making themselves even more depressed and miserable? I will probably never understand that

I'd like to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas! May great things come for us in 2020!

I need this for a friend:
What are some alternatives to Paypal? Ones that are good for artists?

Some services which would not require you to use a phone?

Oh yeah, and then there's this news:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kxx_F-HbEQk

Sooo yeah November 17th. I'm 32 now.

deal with it!