The word 'persona' means:

"the aspect of someone's character that is presented to or perceived by others"
[definition delivered by Google]

I've been thinking a bit about this idea as of late, as I have started to once again present myself to the world on a dating site. I had some reservations, fears, insecurities, omitting certain details about me, being worried it’d scared some people off, but it occured to me, that there simply are things about me, that are a part of me, and I could never just stop doing/being, even for the love of my life, and thus I decided to be open about them:
-I’m a furry
-I’m into some weird stuff
-I collect pornographic art, and (might) draw some myself

That is a part of me, maybe it’ll scare some people off, but those likely were not the right people for me anyway, and my honesty might attract the right kind of people. The persona that I presented could have been a generic nice-guy, but I’ve made the decision to be upfront about my other side.


Then I had to think about how a similar concept functions in the furry fandom itself. We have our fursonas, present ourselves to the world with them, and I see how there are different ways of doing it.

-Some people want to be represented by a some fancy looking character, maybe with some neat colors, designs
-Other people might want to tell a story, and the character is the protagonist of the story
-Maybe someone will use a caricature of themselves, or just use a silly/quirky animal
-Maybe they simply want something related to their fetishes, and have their representation have their ideal dream body
-Or just…. Have the character really highlight their role in bed, as in being predatory, or submissive
-or maybe you’re one of those weirdos who want their fursona to look, cute or… normal!

Now one could say that it's all roleplay, pretending to be a fictional character, just fun and games, maybe a power fantasy, having fun with one’s desires, something playful to get the attention of some people, make friends, maybe have a thrilling RP with someone. It's not you presenting yourself to the world. It's not about trying to say that you are some sexual deviant who actually does some illegal stuff, cause it's just fantasy and make believe.

I do see the logic there, but as I did include the furry stuff in my dating site profile… I did realize how these fetishes, desires and fantasies are still a part of us.

I'm into some weird things. Some might get creeped out by them, but those things could also attract some other people too. If I want these things to still be a part of my life, then those creeped out by them, are probably not right for me to begin with, while those attracted to them might be better matches.

Still, while I’m willing to mention stuff on the dating site, the actual thing with having certain spicy porn in my gallery… worries me. Just mentioning “I’m into some weird kinky stuff” is one thing, but to show that stuff? It could have bigger consequences.

If I would draw my character being a complete victim of various transformations and stuff, I’d be presenting myself as a complete submissive push-over, however if I were to draw him as this strong kind of abusive guy, people would see me as this dominant sort of guy. In reality I’m neither, really. I can function as both, but because I worry about giving a certain impression of myself, I’m not really even considering drawing my character doing certain things, out of fear of how it’d change his perception, and by that extent, the perception of myself.

Seems pretty ridiculous, I know, but I have heard about how certain artists struggle with this exact thing!

No real point here, just felt like thinking about this stuff. Truly, our fursonas or our kinks do not define us on their own, however in a way they’re still a part of us, one which says something about what we desire, and I question if the fact that I have such troubles with these issues is that …. I’m not that strongly leaning towards a specific side, or maybe…. It’s because I don’t know for sure what I want.

https://youtu.be/eRHMOGb_UnM

I just now have published the final page of the newest chapter of Seven Pack. If you read it, then you know that the series will have its conclusion in the next chapter.

To answer some questions that you might have regarding this:

WHY ARE YOU ENDING IT?!
My comic was the very first thing that came to mind when I started drawing in 2005. After a lot of rewrites and changes, it finally started releasing in June 2008. The comic has been running for over 11 years, an insane amount of time for a project of this kind. I had plans, directions where I wanted to go with the story, however to tell those stories, I would probably need another 10 years, maybe more considering how I have less free time now. As I was working on this chapter, I realized how the story feels like a bit of a dud, cause the heroes run into the other world, do stuff, defeat one bad guy and get out. It felt really simple, when in fact it was a 3 part chapter. Then I had to think about how I’d continue the story to deliver a proper conclusion, one including a battle with Ace. That is when it occurred to me, that NOW was a good time for it. That instead of having the heroes escape, continue their misadventures for years on end, I could just have 1 more part, and deliver a big finale to my story. I talked it over with a few people, and made the decision to end my story. It’s been a fun project, but I feel like it had it’s run. I am growing up, changing. I try to become a new man, so what better step to take, than to close the pages on my old comic?

WHEN WILL THE FINAL CHAPTER COME OUT?!
Don’t be surprised if it takes like 2 years for that to happen. I hadn’t drawn a single page of the next chapter in all this time. I’ll be starting work on it in a few months, and it’ll take a bit before it’ll be finished.

WILL YOU MAKE MORE COMICS IN THE FUTURE?
I’ll most likely make one-off pages about jokey topics if an idea ever occurs to me, but a real long running series, with full chapters doesn’t seem likely, at least for now. We shall see, but I feel like I’d do something kind of different next time, if I were to make a comic series again.


If you have any further questions, please ask away, I’ll gladly answer them.

Also: I’d like to thank everyone for following my comic throughout the years. I’m eternally grateful for it.

Me and my pal continue:
https://youtu.be/hvGLtUo-IUk

And the fun continues:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3V72cnfDN5E

I admit, maybe I'm dragging these topics into the ground, but I do legit feel like discussing them.

Ok, so there was this reviewer called 'ProJared'. A few months ago there was a big controversy involving him, cause he:
-cheated on his wife
-had been trading nude pictures with a bunch of girls
-a few of the girls were said to be underage

People were making jokes, memes. Jared's naked photos were all over the net, he was kicked off 'Normal Boots', the website that he was on. I remember how I had a blast laughing at him. In part cause the memes were funny, but also because, for one, I believed he was indeed guilty, and ... Jared has had a history, so to speak.

Several years ago, JonTron, a member of 'Normal Boots' as well, was kicked off the website, after having been on a stream with someone, and having said certain ... right-wing things, which were considered racist by some, he was kicked from the website, and his voice clips were removed from a game, which he was to star in.

Jon's former friends dropped him like a hot potato, so it only seemed fitting that Jared were to meet the same fate, especially considering how he tried to play himself off as this incredibly nice guy, who's all politically correct. Calling himself a male feminist even....... but here he turns out to have been an awful mentally abusive husband, a cheater, and a guy who shamelessly tried to get nudes from fans.

Seemed so perfect.

Jared only made one attempt to respond to all of this, on Twitter, which didn't go well. This time however he waited several months, and NOW responded. A whole big video denying the accusations.

To spare you all the details, all it did was make me feel that we cannot know for sure who was at fault for this relationship breaking up, and that ... yeah the pedophile accusations were probably made up.

My reaction was simple:
-Jared is an idiot who did some awful stuff
-It was not illegal. It was scummy, shameful, disgusting and VERY stupid and irresponsible, BUT not illegal

I don't like him, I am leaning more towards his wife's side, but I have nothing against him coming back. He might as well make more videos now, try and get back where he was. I don't care. Let people watch him if they want.


HOWEVER, things took a slightly different direction: People started to make APOLOGY videos to Jared, and how wrong they were to be so mean to him, that he was innocent all along.

... innocent? Well, ok, in the sense of nothing he did was technically illegal, but he still, he was asking female fans for photos, which is so incredibly shady and scummy! To abuse one's power to get naked pictures... YUCK! I understand if you don't think it's THAT bad, but it's something really shady, and yet I see people defending Jared on all accounts!

"Come on, everybody has cheated in a relationship before. If you say you didn't, then you're a liar!"

"You would do the exact same thing if you were in his place!"

"Yeesh, JonTron actually said some legit racist stuff, fully intentionally and shamelessly. What Jared did was just an unfortunate turn of event"

Heh, right, so let me get this straight:
-Did anyone ever say something offensive while being live? Used some questionable words, and made himself/herself look really bad? NEVER! Impossible! Nobody ever says anything they don't actually mean
-Does anyone cheat on their spouse or ask fans for nudes on accident? WELL OF COURSE! That happens all the time!



Jared himself really tries hard to play himself up as the victim, even going as far as saying something akin to:
"People say they hate cancel culture, but only till they get the chance to cancel someone themselves"

.... oh yeah, really poetic Jared.... but how about this?
"People say they LOVE cancel culture, but only till they get canceled themselves"

*sigh* what a dumb situation. Now Jared is heralded as this big champion for free speech and anti-censorship...... a guy who cheered it on before.


I feel like people are preaching this whole new movement, where we shall remove anybody who does something controversial, and have everything only contain inoffensive people, but that does not go along with the true human nature. We are stupid creatures who like what we like, want to see what we want to see, and will come up with any excuse to do it. And of course, they won't want to be morally gray, so they'll make up some excuse for why this is the morally and intellectually RIGHT choice, and anybody who disagrees is stupid and evil.

Ugh, I just come to the conclusion that humanity is incredibly stupid, and morality is less "what's good and what's wrong" and more "what can I say to make myself look like the good guy?"

Another stupid ramble, my apologies

The First part of a Let's Play I'm doing with my good friend  tauros !
Enjoy!!!!
https://youtu.be/aD7ur42ZSts

I’m just trying to rant about something here, feel free to ignore this.

Politics is an extremely complicated topic. You have hundreds of politicians who represent your country, all with their own views on things. This random bunch of people is meant to represent the entire nation and make sure it prospers. Naturally there is some unity, as politicians tend to be members of political parties, which all have some basic ideology and philosophy that they strive for, but even so, it seems extremely difficult for a party or any politician to represent one’s views completely. There is such a wide array of topics, subjects, very specific things that politicians have an impact on, that it gets even more complicated. Then let’s remember at what a young age people typically are allowed to vote for. It’s probably around 18.

18… someone who’s not yet out of highschool perhaps. Maybe even not fully out of puberty. Emotionally immature… Unfamiliar with this whole politics thing. Were you following the political parties throughout the years to get how they tick? Not just what they say, but also if they keep their word? Most likely no. Most people at that age either just vote for whatever their parents vote for, or they just don’t vote at all.

Politics used to be considered this big taboo topic. My family used to even have a motto: “If you want a cozzy neat little evening, then do not bring up politics”. Everyone has their own views. Politics is the easiest thing to disagree on, so let’s just not talk about it. My old grandfather even had a saying of his own: “The only time when politics matter, is when you vote. After that, you’re stuck with the same people for 4 years. Talking or thinking about it much is only going to make you angry and sad, so it’s best to just try and live your life”.

It all fits so well together, as this really bothersome and complicated topic that we all deal with on our own. There is little point to go crazy over it.

Of course people had their views. If you very much didn’t like a particular politician then you probably wouldn’t start to like him/her during the time when they’re in office. However it still felt comparable most of the time… to one’s relation with a bad neighbour. So annoying and dumb, but oh well, what you gonna do?

I say all this, because in the recent years I feel like things are shifting into a bad direction. Suddenly…. Everybody is Hitler. Every single politician, if they are against what you want, they are just like Hitler. One might insist that it’s a hyperbole, but given how overused it is, I can’t help but question it in a serious manner. Every single politician one doesn’t like, is meant to be viewed as a genocidal dictator………. Not a questionable person with some dumb ideas to be in office for 4 years and then leave, no, it’s someone who will kill millions and be remembered as history’s greatest monster.

On the flip-side, whatever party you support: they’re the good guys. NOTHING about them is questionable. Oh, you disagree with them on something? But that’s details, you could squint your eyes at that and still support them.

Political discussions turn into this stupid and childish arguments, which I could parody, like:
“Yeah, we want to murder all rich people, I can see why that’s questionable, but just let us do it. I mean…. You wouldn’t want those bad guys to… PLANT MORE TREES IN PARKS, would you?!?!”

Anything is a good enough reason to NOT vote for the ‘bad guys’, and nothing is a good enough reason to NOT vote for the ‘good guys’. Which I feel makes the ‘good guys’ look real bad, I mean they could be shit awful, incompetent, and all that, but because of some small details, some singular thing which makes them qualify as ‘good guys’, they should get away with it. They should not learn, they should not listen to the people, they should be the brainless idiots, just on the basis of not being Hitler.

The way I see it: ALL politicians are greedy and corrupt. They all want to screw me over in some way. I hate all of them. I pick who I vote for based on their stances on some burning issues that I care for, but you would never hear me say that they’re flawless. I legit see that whom I voted for is considered an awful, abysmal choice by many, frick in many other years I’d feel this way myself, but in the few specific details that I care the most for, they were the best this time, so that’s what I went with. I try to be flexible. A party/politician has to earn my vote.

But the internet is full of people who think differently. You go somewhere and suddenly “If you like XYZ, then you have to support this party. What?! You still insist on picking a different party?!?!?! Then you are an anti-XYZ-er!!!!!”

It’s like I should pick some specific party, or some random jerk off the internet won’t like me. Oh my, how awful!!!! I stand by my choice, and don’t surrender because someone yelled at me. How awful!!!! I should have less of a spine, less free-will and blindly obey what I’m told.


Sorry, I just really hate what became of the internet. Hope the world becomes sane again in a few years…. maybe

I didn't address this openly, but I have been thinking about changing my fursona recently, for various reasons. This is the story behind the whole giraffe picture. We shall see if this sticks.

Thank you for your attention.

Tak z ciekawości się tylko pytam ilu ludzi mnie obserwuje, będąc z Poznania

Here's a few YouTube channels that totally deserve some more love, so give them a look!

006Cronos
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCO.....DBckv2_PKGGTAw

LittleNorwegians
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCO.....DBckv2_PKGGTAw

Tammy
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz.....1mv5ZZTqdXjwAg

The Gaming Contrarian
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc.....pZIDEp621yAqIQ

Working Man Games
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCk.....SUlTQBvRo13j4Q

At my old work, there was a company pdf catalog. It was made in Adobe InDesign, and it was great. The huge table kept running from page to page, a lot of the stress was taken off me.

At my new job, there is something like that, but the pdf lets you type in numbers, save them and post an order right away by sending it back. It has interactive functions, where typing in a number under quantity makes it calculate the price, and at the end, it does sum up the whole order. Thing is, we don't have InDesign. Don't know who made the file originally, but we end up editing this document in Adobe Acrobat Pro, which is incredibly frustrating, as each table is just a set of lines, and when you move them, it's almost impossible to place them in a way where they'd continue as a straight line from where it started.


Now of course I could ask the company to give me InDesign, but that seems expensive, so I'd like to ask: Does anybody know any free alternatives to Adobe InDesign? One which would have a ton of functionalities like that, including adding functions like that?

The newest FFXIV expansion is out, and there's a chance to buy the game with all its expansions for a pretty small sum.

You could get the game, enter a recruitment code from me and get some bonuses as you play through the game.

If anybody is interested, drop a message!
https://www.cdkeys.com/pc/games/fin.....gers-pc-cd-key

I have some things on my mind right now, and feel like talking about them, so here we go.

I've been having a rough time. The new job stresses me out a bit, and I feel upset over how directionless my life feels like. I had spend so many years dreaming of moving to Germany, that now with the dream completed (even if I did return to Poland) I'm left with no real goals to strive for. At times life feels like pure vegetation. Doing stuff, stressing out, and just looking at the clock, waiting for the grim reaper to show up.

I did have some conversations about this with a few friends, and it seems like I simply feel lonely, and I'd wish I had some offline friends to hang out with. That was the idea of Germany. I wanted to be close to some people. Sadly the one friend that I had there is gone, and the 2 new friendships that I made there just didn't work out too well. Now I'm here, all alone again.

I thought about trying to get to know someone new in this very place. The workplace doesn't seem to work all that great, so I tried getting friends with a hobby. I tried going to a game-store, and play some Magic The Gathering with the people there. I was failing at both making friends, and the game itself. Somehow in my mind, I could not help but fuse one and two together... that I need to get good at the game, to get the attention from people. Pathetic, childish and idiotic, I know.

Over half a year, I changed the formats that I played in, the decks that I had used too. The most recent change had me spend hundreds of dollars on a deck that I had read great things about. Even when coming with it to the store, people were impressed........ but they pulverized me. Apparently the deck is strong, it's just weak in the only format where it's playable in.

I felt so sad... I kept trying to slowly improve it, but it's no good. So this week, on Tuesday, I entered the store with a different mindset:
"I am going to get my ass kicked. I am hopeless. I will lose. I stand no chance against anybody. I will not win anything. Even someone playing for the first time will crush me. I am just going there to meet some people, try to talk, and try to have some fun."

However, as pathetic and sad of a wish as that was........ when I entered the store, everybody was already playing. I was told I could join once they'd finish, so I sat down, and after an hour.... they were still not done. It didn't even look like they were finishing. They just kept talking, playing, while I began questioning what mockery I am being made of here. Even with my expectations so depressingly low..... I still get disappointed. I sat there for an hour, until I had enough. I went home being extremely angry and sad.

I realize this was but one crappy evening, but it feels like "the straw that broke the camel's back". I began to feel intense anger. I left all online groups related to Magic The Gathering. While at it, I left several online groups that I had been a part of. I went on a major purge of my social media, unfollowing a lot of people, wanting to get rid of a lot of junk that I was angry over. I had this feeling of injustice. That I'm forced to be so sad and lonely. I tried so many things, was willing to go to some crazy lengths to get them, but in the end........ nope, no chance loser.

I am aware how ridiculous and childish this must sound coming from such a small and unimportant thing, but it must have been a bubble that's been in my head, and it simply finally burst. I feel intense anger at humanity and the world as a whole. I am angry that I'm so lonely, that I can't make proper contact with people. Even the online world isn't what it used to. I legit think about sick stuff like... if the world ended tomorrow, that'd be pretty neat. Not talking about specific groups of people, or taking myself out this or anything. I feel like it's all disgusting and wretched, so it might as well go away.

So yeah, a card game was enough to push me towards desiring an apocalypse. think about that, the next time you call a movie villain's motivation idiotic!

E3 came around, and we got some SaGa related news!

https://youtu.be/pvq-SGPBbv0

I would like to let everybody know that the next chapter of Seven Pack is finished, and I shall begin uploading it weekly on June 14th.

I hope you all shall enjoy it.

Me and my pal  tauros did record a podcast together about the Danganronpa franchise. We try to make it spoiler-free, but that didn't work out all the way I fear, heh. Still, we had a lot of fun recording, and I hope you people will have fun watching us!

Part 1:
https://youtu.be/lb0cSNqXq-E

Part 2:
https://youtu.be/Uji6XZoaiyA

https://youtu.be/Hxeejurc5ug

After reconsidering everything, I've made the decision to return to my old FarelTheGecko channel. FarelForever will be used as a backup thing in case anything does end up blowing up.

Please follow me on the appropriate channel from now on:
https://www.youtube.com/user/FarelTheGecko

Wonderful! Combustion has been funded! And it's reached the stretchgoal of 7200$!!! Thank you everybody for your help!
https://www.kickstarter.com/project.....529/combustion

In case anybody wishes to contribute something to the project, but it's too late, then you can still support the creator on Patreon:
https://www.patreon.com/lnorwegians/

Finally, after a year of unemployment, I found a job! On May 6th, I'm starting work as a "Junior IT Specialist" !

Wonderful news! We're over 5900$ and the Kickstarter page has been updated!

The graphics have been changed, and there's a new reward tier! Be sure to check it out before the campaign ends!!!!
https://www.kickstarter.com/project.....529/combustion

8 days remains till the campaign ends, and we've reached around 5750$, which is great! The game will certainly get funded, but it would so so so much if we could get this even further! So if you have been holding back on donating or donating more out of any possible reason, cast that aside and show your support! Let's get this beyond 6000 $ !!!!

https://www.kickstarter.com/project.....529/combustion

Hey guys, my friend is making this cool PSone era indie game, and it's up on Kickstarter, so if anybody is interested, take a look ^_^
https://twitter.com/LNorwegians/sta.....26247292051456