So, I got done with this project... I showed the first chapter of the game, and I know it's awful, but... whatever

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?li.....phW7-6F9zyHYg4

Yeah, I .... have been releasing new parts, and just...... whatever, here you go

Part 3: https://youtu.be/o3l__6uIVsg
Part 4: https://youtu.be/cAcPBY7RCt8
Part 5: https://youtu.be/lcerIaVJxrU

Today is November 17th 2017, which marks my 30th birthday.

That's right, 30 years ago, I was unleashed onto the world. Unddoubtfully this is quite an important moment, but I'm not as emotional about it. The biggest feelings that I had related to this milestone in my life, was the thought that I'd be 30, and I still wouldn't move out of my parents house, and would have to still live with my quite loud family.

This did not happen. Through a lot of luck I did land a job in a german advertisement agency, and with it, I am continuing to live here in a small, but perfectly suitable apartment.

Hard to argue that my creative pace has lessened quite a bit. With a job that takes up 42-45 hours a week, and having to run this household all by myself, there is much less time to be had. Regardless, I can claim to get some real satisfaction from all of this, as I did join a manga drawing class, which assures a steady pace of production on my comic. Admittedly I fall into depression every now and then, plus I've been neglecting my video production quite a bit, but... nevermind that now, I'll get back to it in due time.

I'm not good with making these birthday speeches, so emm.........

Thanks for being there for me guys!
You're all wonderful!!!

PS: I'm wishing  Hasani a happy birthday as well, since we have it on the same day!

It's 5:30 am, since an hour I cannot sleep. I was hoping that on a Saturday, with no need for an alarm clock, my body would just let me rest, but nope, it decided to wake up even an hour earlier.

My recent sleeping problems started when the daylight saving came up. I started waking up before 6 am. I kept hoping that my body would adjust, but it just doesn't, and as today proofs... it got worse.

I don't drink coffee... I even limited my sugar intake by just using 1 or no spoons of sugar for my tea, and... yeah, sure, I'm not very physically active, and spend a lot of time in the office, BUT that's how it's been for ages, and I can't remember the last time that my had such a bad sleeping schedule!

Please, anyone... help me!

Ehhh yeah, I guess
https://youtu.be/OF4xEiChVXQ

On October 5th 2016, I arrived in Strausberg, where I signed a contract with the company, and all the papers for my apartment. I've been working here ever since.

It's been a difficult journey with many obstacles along the way, and I still feel like I'm doing poorly, failing at many many things, being pessimistic, but I definitely made a lot of new experiences, met new people, so I guess everything is progressing in a good way.


Sorry that I'm unable to write more. I feel kind of sick, and I'm exhausted!

Someone I know wants to release a book.
Let's make it happen!
https://www.thunderclap.it/projects.....on-book-launch

I spontaneously thought of making a quick video, highlighting the start of a very interesting game................. and then it turned out to be more than 3 hours long, but I uploaded it anyway! I'll be posting in parts weekly!

https://youtu.be/rSw1Ot7a3B4

Ok, I've been writing a lot recently, but this has been on my mind, so let's get to it.

There's a lot of RPGs where the player can (or even has to) recruit various characters into his team. They are diverse both in terms of personality, and also fighting style, and that can sometimes clash.

By that I mean that there might be a character that you LOVE, but he/she is so weak, or.... at least super complicated to play, to where you just cannot put them on your team. Or how about the reverse? There's a character that you hate so much, but he/she is so incredibly strong, that you have to use him/her.

I've had both occur to me a bunch of times in the past:
-Guile from Chrono Cross- awesome magician, but he had so few spell slots, that I had to ditch him in the long run
-Yukiko vs Teddie in Persona 5. I vastly prefer Yukiko, but Teddie had a bunch of support spells, so I went with him.... as a matter of fact, I'd preferably drop both to get Naoto into my party, but... I needed a healer, so.. there you go
-Kimahri Ronso, a character almost made for me, but I had to focus on leveling 3 characters, and settled on Tidus, Auron and Yuna, because of their Overdrives.... WHICH WAS A BIG MISTAKE, given how useless Overdrives are again Dark Aeons, but.... there you go, I wasted my chance to use this amazing guy throughout most of the game

And the reverse case is here:
-I really did not like Irvine in FF8, but his Limit Break was amazing, so I used him anyway
-(it's not a RPG, but whatever) TeruTeru from Danganronpa 2 is such an... icky character. A fat perverted chef, BUT if you spend time with him, you'll get a very useful ability, and so, I still ended up hanging out with him....
-Black Pearl from Legeng of Mana... Man, I prefer Elazul, both as a character, as a compagnion, I prefer his fighting style, BUT... when you just touch Black Pearl, you're able to use your special attacks right away, so...... *sigh*


That's just some examples, and it's clearly not something I always do. There are exceptions, but I felt like discussing the topic of... when we do cast away our bias in favor of being stronger/better etc.

Hello dear friends, I do wish to make this announcement:
As of this writing, I have completed my work on chapter 7 of my comic. Funny that it happened on September 17th 2017, exactly a full year since I uploaded the last page of my comic.

Now some of you might be getting excited and hoping to see weekly releases starting next Saturday, but that is not the case. A long while ago I did create a fanpage for my comic on Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/SevenPackTheComic/
To actually have people know about it, I am uploading the whole backlog daily, and should be done by around... December 1st. And ehh... I feel like I'd wait until the new Year to start with it. So .... you're gonna have to wait until January 6th 2018 to see something from it.


I'd like to use this time to confess that I've been under a major burnout recently. I've just been pushing myself to get stuff done faster and faster... I even started attending a manga drawing course just to learn how to draw faster, in hope of getting this comic done and not have to deal with it anymore.

That was my mindset: Frustration.

I wasn't feeling happy with what I was creating. Time and time again I had some ideas for pictures or videos, but I forbid myself to make them, because the comic was much more important. This is why I almost completely stopped making pictures, and I sense that my art suffered because of it. I stopped focusing on improving or having fun, all in favor of just getting it done and not having it ruin my life anymore.

That is a very bad mindset to have as a creative person, so while the original idea was to just say how I'm taking a bit of a break, how I might make some videos, maybe draw pictures before I get back to working on the next chapter, this might be something even bigger. I need to change my attitude towards work, or...... rather my hobby, cause that's what it is: a hobby. I need to change my attitude towards it permanently, because it's really not doing me any good.

YouTuber, uses wobbly animated wolf in his videos, one of which was about DragonBallZ Abridged
Artist's depiction:

https://twitter.com/FarelTheGecko/s.....61619577597958

September 4th again, another anniversary of when I began to draw. The 12th one, and this time I have nothing to really show for it. Oh well!

I'd like to take this time to stop and think about something that occurred to me. I've often invested my time into things and tried to get something out of them. In earlier childhood it was just stuff like collecting paper notepad sheets, stamps, Pogs, Pokemon stuff... Later for several years Warcraft 3 and its map editor occupied me, but even with that, any ideas I had never went far beyond the concept stage.

After that, I got to 2 pursuits, which actually do last until today: drawing and video making. I feel like I might just focus on drawing, cause we're celebrating my anniversary of me starting that today.

I see myself as terribly inferior to basically all content creators on all websites that I post my work on. I've been doing this for 12 years, and yet I still seem to make lesser content than someone who's just been doing it for 2 years. Perhaps there's been general issues like me lacking talent, me not being committed enough, however now that I have a full time job, all of this got even worse, and at times I feel like I'm regressing. I no longer have time to really drawing singular images, work on them for days... I'd rather work on my comic, which takes years to be made regardless, and that feels so ridiculous, and crazy!

I get frustrated with myself, and hardly ever do I feel satisfied with my work, but you know what? I do feel happy that I've decided to go for this.

All those previously mentioned things (not video making) got me nowhere. They feel like wasted time. Maybe Warcraft 3 was passable, but... ehh. Drawing (and video making) are the first things where I'm doing something, making something, presenting it to the world and … it's there. I dare to create it. I put time and effort, publish it online, and in spite of what I think of it, there are people who like it. It feels like it's worth it. It feels like something worth the time. At the end of the day, I do not regret that I decided to do this, and I plan to continue doing this as time goes!!!!

Thank you for your attention!

I visited my first furry convention, and made a video about it!

https://youtu.be/ydpuR9ALT6k

Politics are a topic meant to make me feel like:
-my viewpoints are wrong
-what I'm supporting is evil
-all politicians are corrupt, sinister and go in some wrong direction
-there is no right choice
-everything is so confusing, yet the answers are super obvious
-I'm a retard, and should have no right to vote, or at least, I should instead ask a smarter person as to how I should vote, because that way it's not my vote, so I won't have to feel as bad about it

I seriously have no problems feel awful about myself and hating my own guts. I don't need politics to barge in and make me feel like I should stop existing.

No matter how happy or inspired I can feel, politics will without a doubt crush me and make me feel like life isn't worth living anymore.



.... I felt the need to vent... so I did..... God damn this entire world

Lately, I've been thinking about strategies that enemies take in turn based RPGs. Admittedly this starts at just the idea which of your characters is going to be hit... there's several possible approaches:
-random
-who's closest (which row the character is in)
-who has the least health left
-who has the weakest defense
-who's dealing the most damage
-who's the healer
-maybe have it all based on some system where characters gain a monster's „hate“

This however made me think of how simplistic it all is in the end, and I started to think about enemies where I could truly say that they had a concrete strategy... I only came up with 1 example:

-Saruin from „Romancing SaGa Minstrel Song“ - in his second form, he summons a bunch of pillars to the arena, they decrease damage dealt and life restored for both him and your characters. The pillars are destroyed as you keep attacking, so if you attack too much, Saruin will start to hit you hard, but if you play slow and carefully, then Saruin will use an attack to destroy all pillars at once, dealing massive damage depending on the number of pillars left, and then he'll immediately restore all of them, which not only leaves you with little health, but also brings back the state where you can't restore much health to your characters.

The only problem with this is that there is no real counter strategy, it's more about playing well and paving yourself well. The game manages to give you a „sign“ of sorts when you're playing well. If you managed to bring down all the pillars (preventing him from using that destruction attack), and still keeping up with Saruin, he'll eventually just use a command that restores the pillars. Sure, one could consider it an annoyance, since you have to get to that point again, but I see it as him getting cold feet! It's a really feel-good moment!


Anyway, I was wondering: do you guys know any bosses in jRPGs or other games that had a real strategy while fighting?

Recently I sat down and watched all the (animated) movies from this franchise and decided to write about it:
https://farelthegecko.wordpress.com.....sterix-movies/

So, it's pride month...... and I haven't felt this straight in years!
*cheap rimshot*
Heh, anyway... dumb comment aside, I've been feeling kind of frustrated recently... It feels like whenever I return home, do all the chores, take care of stuff, I end up working on my comic, and that stopped feeling fun to me.

I started work on this current chapter in May of last year. Until now I've only made 17 pages, that's... maybe half of what I had planned for this chapter. OK, OK, maybe I won't need a full year to finish the chapter, but it starts to feel like an eternity. I guess I do throw a joke here and there, but it really feels frustrating. When will this mess end?!

Oh Lord, I still planned a few comedic bits, and then a fight! I wanted to experiment with perspectives! I even wanted to add a few scenes to add character development! UGH!!!!!! Can't I just end this chapter right here?!?!?!? This is so sickening!!!! Why do I need to put in this effort?! Is there a point to it?! In the end someone will just come around and say that it looks awful, and how I should put in more time and effort, because clearly, with over a year in production... I'm just rushing it out, and it's not just my clear lack of talent!

I did that trade recently and I was amazed by how much I've lost my touch. How I forgot how color/shading work. I used to make single images for fun every now and then, but now it's all about drawing panel after panel, to chug it all along!


I realize that in large part, this is just me venting my frustrations out, but.... geee... I just cannot stop thinking about how talented, creative and productive other people are, while I try to get this stuff done, and it not only takes forever, but it also looks like garbage...

I don't know, do I need a break from this or something?!

The long awaited video, where I and my pal Amayirot Akago... play with Legos!

https://youtu.be/HVgdaQYgkdg

Over the last weekend, I was at the Mangapark Erfurt, a first time event where manga fans could gather in the local park, and do stuff. Naturally anime/fantasy/video-game fans, and nerds of all sorts were welcome too. I was invited there by Michael Wild, the artist behind the critically acclaimed "Mimimi" and "Apfel" comics.
https://www.facebook.com/MichelWild
We shared a room together, spend a bunch of time chatting, and it was real fun.

I uploaded some of the photos of the event. Not all, because that'd be a bit much, but here's the few that I made public:
https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.1315337425253335.1073741829.100003312704759&type=1&l=06506577cd

Sorry if this journal is rather short. I simply did not feel like writing much, I'm really tired after this weekend, so my brain can't come up with much stuff to say other than that it was fun!

Cheers!

I made a new video about the SaGa series:
https://youtu.be/6dlWYb79Izc

Also:
http://funnyjunk.com/channel/monste.....+time/njdpLaw/

A new Let's Play?
https://youtu.be/-ehA0oc93Tg

So, it's been exactly 6 months since I came to Strausberg and began working. There was talk about a 6 month testing time, which did end today, which is when I was told that I get to keep my job.

It's not some super huge news, as my boss seemed to completely forget about this thing, and I just upfront asked if I get to keep the job, and he just passively shrugged saying "sure", and that was it.

My family is really super excited, while I'm more chill about it. I wasn't that doubtful that it'd work out (more based on observation than confidence).

So, anyway, even if my emotions aren't boiling, I feel like taking this time and look back on what was achieved. These 6 months really went by so extremely quickly... I feel like I just got here.

I admit to some regret over not having done as much as I hoped. The comic, videos... a lot of things really slowed down. Although the fact that I got better at doing my job is certainly much more important, so emmm... whatever. I'll get to it (in fact I'll be uploading something this very Saturday).

So emmm.... I still have a job, yaaaay....

See ya

I wasn't talking about this with too many people, but ... I feel like I lost a lot of inspiration that I used to have.

Even giving up dozens of ideas for videos, I don't really feel like working on them.

Pictures are pretty much the same. I seem to come back home to just do things off my "to-do list" that I have set for myself, and honestly.... it feels like I always put drawing as the last thing to do.

Today I managed to do one thing after another, feeling all well and good, but then came my comic. I finished inking a page, managed to start coloring it... so much progress... but none-the-less, my mood did get WORSE! I got bored and annoyed!!!!

Why is this?
I seem to have lost all urgency in getting this done... I just feel annoyed at my creations, but also at myself for being like this.

Is anyone familiar with this?
Some advise? Maybe questions to get some answers as to why this is happening?

So my best friend is launching his new video game project, and it certainly is looking very promising, be sure to take a look and await further info:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDa6sGWNkc4

This video took me 3 years to make, so SHUT UP!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaSiIfRIDkQ