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First time ever I'm outright asking for help
Posted a month agoHey guys, I've been holding off on ever doing one for a while, but my best friend I've been helping could use your help with my fundraiser on GoFundMe in order to get me back. Please share, support, or donate—every small action counts. https://gofund.me/ba179462f
If you wanna get something back directly and help me out at the same time, go to my new Itch.io page where I've migrated all my 3D models to and you can pay whatever you want for all but 2 of the things there, and those are only $5 too for a pack of seven models or the vore kit I'd been working on for a long long while.
So like, if you ever downloaded one of my models for free, and paid other folks when they sold theirs for like $20, $35, or more... I could sure go for those kinda sales right now X3
https://irongut1.itch.io/
As for the explanation as to why I'm doing a gofundme? It's actually only half for me. My best friend DarkSteel has been having awful luck with cars over the past 5 years, and I've been helping by either lending him my car when I could or helping him with stopgap cars off craigslist, that of course have either gone a few year and then been ruined by bad luck, or needing repairs and upkeep enough that he hasn't been able to save up for the actual car he needs to solve this whole conundrum. I'm at a point myself this year where I can't spare the cash to do this without help, so here I am asking for it. I know the gofundme says 11k is the goal, but we're not looking for that much at all until goal #3, but gofundme has automatic goal setting so yeah.
I've got three goals in mind here for how successful this campaign could potentially be.
1 - $1000. This would be what I hope we can get to at least, at this point we can afford another stopgap car after selling the Civic for half a grand to whomever will buy it, and this buys us some time to figure things out.
2 - $6000. This would cover the cost of another stopgap car like before, AND pay me back all of what I have lent him/covered for him, so that weight no longer is hanging over his head or mine.
3 - $15,000. This would do all of the above, except we'd swap out the idea of the next car being another used stopgap car for financing a new car and having enough to actually afford the insurance and stuff.
4 - $25,000. Covers the whole cost of a new car which would solve everything permanently. This is the dream, and we'd be so thankful to get this amount, I'm not sure what we could do in exchange, but definitely something.
Posted using PostyBirb
If you wanna get something back directly and help me out at the same time, go to my new Itch.io page where I've migrated all my 3D models to and you can pay whatever you want for all but 2 of the things there, and those are only $5 too for a pack of seven models or the vore kit I'd been working on for a long long while.
So like, if you ever downloaded one of my models for free, and paid other folks when they sold theirs for like $20, $35, or more... I could sure go for those kinda sales right now X3
https://irongut1.itch.io/
As for the explanation as to why I'm doing a gofundme? It's actually only half for me. My best friend DarkSteel has been having awful luck with cars over the past 5 years, and I've been helping by either lending him my car when I could or helping him with stopgap cars off craigslist, that of course have either gone a few year and then been ruined by bad luck, or needing repairs and upkeep enough that he hasn't been able to save up for the actual car he needs to solve this whole conundrum. I'm at a point myself this year where I can't spare the cash to do this without help, so here I am asking for it. I know the gofundme says 11k is the goal, but we're not looking for that much at all until goal #3, but gofundme has automatic goal setting so yeah.
I've got three goals in mind here for how successful this campaign could potentially be.
1 - $1000. This would be what I hope we can get to at least, at this point we can afford another stopgap car after selling the Civic for half a grand to whomever will buy it, and this buys us some time to figure things out.
2 - $6000. This would cover the cost of another stopgap car like before, AND pay me back all of what I have lent him/covered for him, so that weight no longer is hanging over his head or mine.
3 - $15,000. This would do all of the above, except we'd swap out the idea of the next car being another used stopgap car for financing a new car and having enough to actually afford the insurance and stuff.
4 - $25,000. Covers the whole cost of a new car which would solve everything permanently. This is the dream, and we'd be so thankful to get this amount, I'm not sure what we could do in exchange, but definitely something.
Posted using PostyBirb
Furry Holidays Calendar
Posted 6 months agoThere are so many furry months indeed it's impossible to keep track of them all, because it's really just "someone makes something up" and if they have enough followers, it catches on, then people hear about it and take it seriously and it spreads. That's kinda why most of them are pun based :P
This is all why I'm putting together a combined online calendar that folks can add to without any sort of login or anything so that we can catalog every single one of these holidays:
https://bit.ly/furryholidayscalendar
and here's the link to specifically use if you want to add events to the calendar https://teamup.com/kssee6f9tg6iiwwwq1
When you add your event, it'll go onto the "user submitted" calendar section, until I go through and add it to the appropriate calendar once I've seen it to not be something too specific, trolling, or only celebrated by one/a few people :P Comment here if you think I've not gone and promoted any events that should be promoted for too long :P
This is all why I'm putting together a combined online calendar that folks can add to without any sort of login or anything so that we can catalog every single one of these holidays:
https://bit.ly/furryholidayscalendar
and here's the link to specifically use if you want to add events to the calendar https://teamup.com/kssee6f9tg6iiwwwq1
When you add your event, it'll go onto the "user submitted" calendar section, until I go through and add it to the appropriate calendar once I've seen it to not be something too specific, trolling, or only celebrated by one/a few people :P Comment here if you think I've not gone and promoted any events that should be promoted for too long :P
3D Thursdays Return! Also other random news
Posted 7 months agoWhat's this? It's the return of 3D Thursdays! Yes, I've been getting render gifts from folks a fair amount over the past year or so, and wanting to show them off, so I figured I'd being back a thing I used to do that I remember :) Uploading a 3D render piece to scraps every Thursday for a while until that collection is all posted :)
Also I would like to report that my yearly month of coloring stuff to post for the year I decided to switch from May to, THIS month that's ending now :D Yes that's right, no longer Pic-a-day-May, instead it's been the March of Color? I dunno, why do I even bother to name these things? It's literally just a thing I do to help organize myself and the results are only seen by everyone long after it's done anyways because I post stuff spread out over the course of the year D8 Well anyways, long story short (too late) it's been a BIG success this month and I've got a LOT of quality pics to post for this coming year :) so stay subscribed!
In other news, I've been a bit blargh on finances recently, mostly because the movie industry has SUUUUCKED lately and so my place of employment, the movie theater, has been reallly stingy with hours. I'm getting like 5 hours a week, 10 on a "GOOD" week D8. Luckily my 3D model commissions have been making up most of the difference but at the same time, that's a lot to manage and I'm moving slower than I want to on that and also I tend to undercharge blargh. So I've been kicking around the idea of trying a patreon again. I tried way back when but I didn't get literally anything from it. Now with me being in the 3D scene though I feel like I can offer stuff to make it more successful like a raffle for a free 3D model commission or guaranteed animations if I hit certain thresholds? yknow? I dunno... I'd like to know if folks are interested by commenting and such before I spend some of my limited time setting up one all big and proper only to get zero patrons again...
Posted using PostyBirb
Also I would like to report that my yearly month of coloring stuff to post for the year I decided to switch from May to, THIS month that's ending now :D Yes that's right, no longer Pic-a-day-May, instead it's been the March of Color? I dunno, why do I even bother to name these things? It's literally just a thing I do to help organize myself and the results are only seen by everyone long after it's done anyways because I post stuff spread out over the course of the year D8 Well anyways, long story short (too late) it's been a BIG success this month and I've got a LOT of quality pics to post for this coming year :) so stay subscribed!
In other news, I've been a bit blargh on finances recently, mostly because the movie industry has SUUUUCKED lately and so my place of employment, the movie theater, has been reallly stingy with hours. I'm getting like 5 hours a week, 10 on a "GOOD" week D8. Luckily my 3D model commissions have been making up most of the difference but at the same time, that's a lot to manage and I'm moving slower than I want to on that and also I tend to undercharge blargh. So I've been kicking around the idea of trying a patreon again. I tried way back when but I didn't get literally anything from it. Now with me being in the 3D scene though I feel like I can offer stuff to make it more successful like a raffle for a free 3D model commission or guaranteed animations if I hit certain thresholds? yknow? I dunno... I'd like to know if folks are interested by commenting and such before I spend some of my limited time setting up one all big and proper only to get zero patrons again...
Posted using PostyBirb
Makin up for the missed week with a BIRTHDAY WEEK Upload!
Posted 11 months agoHey all! Sorry about last week missin an upload cause my god that was a busy week with the movie theater having those 3 big movies coming out at once plus thanksgiving with the folks and I was BWARRRRGH and too much so to do anything. But that's ok! I'm better now with more energy :)
And to make up for missin a week I'm uploading the biggest commission I ever have gotten WHEEEE! Three pages of a comic that cost me a grand upped over the next two days :P
Oh also my birfday is coming up on the 10th again :) sloooowly approaching 40 years old in a few years but NOT THERE YET DANGIT! (if you wanna know what a shark wants for gifts, well mostly doodles or using his 3D models in animations or renders :) Doodle ideas: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/ehmd.....rcv7s&dl=0 and my 3D models you can use in Blender or Source Filmmaker: https://bit.ly/IronGut3D and https://bit.ly/ironkabalmystic Or if you REALLY wanna get me something physical :P I have an amazon wshlist too :P https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/.....?ref_=wl_share )
And to make up for missin a week I'm uploading the biggest commission I ever have gotten WHEEEE! Three pages of a comic that cost me a grand upped over the next two days :P
Oh also my birfday is coming up on the 10th again :) sloooowly approaching 40 years old in a few years but NOT THERE YET DANGIT! (if you wanna know what a shark wants for gifts, well mostly doodles or using his 3D models in animations or renders :) Doodle ideas: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fo/ehmd.....rcv7s&dl=0 and my 3D models you can use in Blender or Source Filmmaker: https://bit.ly/IronGut3D and https://bit.ly/ironkabalmystic Or if you REALLY wanna get me something physical :P I have an amazon wshlist too :P https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/.....?ref_=wl_share )
Burnt Fins Update #2
Posted a year agoSO! Last we left off, it was JUST into January of 2024, and the end of the year had been AWFUl, and had just gotten a whole bunch worse because when I, a homeowner who was utterly DONE with how my house had been mistreated by my renting housemates and their absolute stubborn refusal to help me DO anything about it, in fact OBSTRUCTING me from doing anything about it, went and while they were off at a con without me took matters into my own hands and FIXED UP MY DAMN HOUSE. ONLY for them to come back and UTTERLY ram a damn SPIKE up my ass over having done so, despite literally cleaning up mold for them and making it possible for them to MOVE.
WELL. Let's just say, that whole incident got in fact WORSE. So I mentioned that they didn't pay any rent for December when they got back? Well I tried asking for it and they refused to respond about it... and then January ended, and they continued to refuse talking about it. Now call me a pushover if you want, but at the time I was like "Ok, if they're pissed enough they wanna skip December rent, then fine, I don't like that but I got money in the bank, I can live with it, if they get back to paying rent from here on we can move on."
Well January ends and... no rent. again. I'd been giving them their space to calm down and move on hopefully, but yeah January goes and now I'm worrying. Cause in order to continue to afford my house indefinitely, I NEED the rent from housemates, that's why I have them in the first place. $800 a month for two folks is a great damn deal and not a lot, but it also covers my base lot rent so all I need to pay is all the other expenses like electric, internet, insurance, etc. Which all together costs about $900 a month for. So I'm in fact still taking on the majority of the cost, but anyways.
We're now into THE END OF JANUARY and I'm just, in a fog. I have to confront them about this at some point, and thanks to my upbringing I am very much a non-confrontational person. I'm still thinking "Ok, if they get back to paying rent in February we can move forward still, I REALLY don't like it, but not as much as I hate having to hunt for housemates again cause I dunno how long it'll take to find someone who can RELIABLY handle $800 a month like these two do, because one works a whole lot making lots of money for amazon, and the other just sits home making a guaranteed $800 a month THEMSELVES off disability from the government, no job or nothing. They're the most stable renters I could ask for and have never asked to "hey can i pay less this month, money is tight" kind of thing. Until of course now, where we're 2 months without rent being paid, and I'm just, in a depressed funk doing nothing but playing video games on my off days and working the few work shifts I have, because I have ZERO control over what they actually do, and NO GOOD OPTIONS. Option 1: they get over this shit and start behaving like adults and get back to paying rent. GREAT, I'm STILL out $1600 though that I know I'm not gonna get. Option 2: I have to kick their asses out, they leave without issue, and I'm stuck paying ALL my costs, draining my bank account rapidly for I dunno how long it'll take to find someone else to take that space (which is especially tough cause they gotta be a furry, since I hold furry house parties every month, which have no dress code, and I don't wanna stop doing those.). Option 3: I kick them out, and they resist D8 Becoming squatters who claim they have a claim to the house legally because they've been here for 6 years and I stupidly have never had them sign a lease agreement D8. I LOVE MY HOUSE and DO NOT FUCKING WANT TO POTENTIALLY LOSE IT. and the way they acted in the first place yelling about how I was even IN their room while they were away was a "violation of their renters rights" makes me super afraid they're gonna go this way O_O
So yeah. I'm insanely stressed out, have nobody to help me out about all this, have absolutely no power over the situation, and my entire fate is in the hands of two folks who clearly hate me and are super pissed off and grudgy at me right now, oh and also SUCK at communication and have been (as I find out later) having LOTS of issues with the way I have been acting in my own house but have refused to TALK to me about ANY of them so I'm just blissfully autistic and unaware of any of it!
January 26th: Huh, one of their kitchen appliances they use isn't in the kitchen, that's weird.
January 27th: I wake up ad head out my room to go to the bathroom. Oh look! I see even more kitchen appliances that are theirs aren't in the kitchen, they're clearing the cupboards of their food stuff, and there's big cardboard boxes in the living room. OH FUCKING FANTASTIC. THEY ARE MOVING OUT. TODAY. RIGHT NOW. WITHOUT HAVING TOLD ME THEY WERE GONNA DO SO. SO NOT ONLY AM I NEVER GONNA SEE THE RENT FOR DECEMBER AND JANUARY FOR SURE, BUT THEY ARE ALSO FUCKING ME OVER BY ME NOT HAVING ANY TIME TO LOOK FOR A REPLACEMENT FOR THEM BEFORE THEY GO. GREAT! JUST, FUCKING GREAT!
I have basically one best friend who I trust here in the same state as me who like, regularly makes efforts to pay me back the money I lend him, who sleeps on my couch a night a week during the bowling league season cause he lives across the state now but still plays in his league he's been in for years since before he moved, and who I can open up to and vent to to talk about things who will understand and respect the fact that "just because I'm telling you this doesn't mean I want YOU to take control of the situation FOR me and start bombarding me with suggestions and telling me what to do, that's the LAST thing I want and why I DO NOT INFORM MY PARENTS about my life stuff (In fact, I've still yet to tell them about any of this situation today as of posting this.). And even he is just like, "Holy fucking shit these guys are so fucking immature and crossing so many lines here."
At this point though, when the night comes and they are actually fucking GONE, I am FUCKING relieved. Relieved that Option 3 has NOT happened, and at least I don't have to try and kick them out, they kicked themselves out, and I no longer have to deal with their childish fucking asses ever again. GOOD. FINE. I can live with this outcome, and at least the fucking month long hell of waiting is over.
I take a few days and with that one good friend I mentioned coming over for the weekend couch stay, me and him go through and HOLY FUCK CLEAN THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF THAT NOW MOSTLY EMPTY ROOM ONCE AND FOR ALL. and HOLY FUCK. Yeah, remember I talked about how much they abused the house from their lack of giving a shit and cleaning? yeah, the room was even worse. They put a hole in the wall moving their bed out, and did a hurried and awful patch job of covering the hole, the walls were caked in stains from their hands and feet at night against the walls, and the corners of the room that were behind furniture before have FUGGING MOLD TO CLEAN among the thick hairy dust layers. It takes like, two whole days to clean the room, but once it's done thank fuck it's done forever and good at long last and I love just being able to see and be in there again. a Whole new room of my own house! Oh yeah, time to clean and re-organize the REST of the house now too! Kitchen and living room take another whole day to get clean and organized, but I am just, HAPPY once I do because OMG for the first time in literally about half a decade, my house is FULLY CLEAN AND ORGANIZED. *content shark noisesssss*
Oh yeah, but I gotta find a new housemate now... one who can afford by themselves the $800 I was charging the both of them, or a duo of furs who are together and willing to share the room space @_@ greaaaaaat... I start posting around the NJ Furry telegram groups, and one of my oldest furry friends says he knows someone looking and can afford! Awesome :D I go and meet with them at their current spot, and they're lookin to move out within like, less than a few weeks time, and say the $800 would be cheap and easy :D WOO! Okay! This sounds great! They've got no issues with me or the house parties, have not a whole lot of stuff to move in so it'll all fit no prob, great! Let's do this!
3 days later: Oh I actually got somewhere else I'm moving into.
0_o ..... *CAN FEEL THE ANEURYSM FORMING IN MY HEAD*
Well on the SAME NIGHT actually, another friend of mine (one who is, unfortunately a lot LESS reliable about paying me back, but who I have been helping for a long time) and his boyfriend call me up. "Hey so uhhhh, my boyfriend's crazy ass mom who has hated us both until we said we were getting engaged and then was all lovey and accepting of us 6 months ago has changed their minds and issued a restraining order on us both TONIGHT and so we're being kicked out like, right now, the police outside, and we got nowhere to go or stay and also have like 2 and a half carloads worth of stuff to move NOW and our cat" 0_0
PAAAAAAART TWOOOOOOO BEGINS!
Soooooo, yeah. Them two are now here and uhhhhh, I guess I've found my new housemates, who have indeed agreed to do the $800 a month, but uhhhh, there's issues, mostly, FINANCIAL. I got no problem with either of them as people or anything, and immediately they are a fucking breath of fresh air in the way they are keeping things at least a LITTLE cleaner than the previous guys, and are respectful about like, asking and working with me FIRST before bringing in some new piece of kitchen equipment or furniture, recognizing this as MY HOUSE FIRST. But the finances. BF doesn't have a job at the moment, and the friend of mine is supporting them both plus the cat, has zero bank account balance saved, and is AWFUL at managing their money, has an AFWUL car finance they had to take cause they fucked up buying this car of theirs completely by waiting til the day before he needed to go back to work to buy it so he had zero ability to back out of the deal and the dealer shark smelled that blood in a SECOND and had us (oh yeah I was there as his driver and co-financer) waiting til end of day before giving us the "Take it or leave it" deal he knew we had no choice but to take. And the only saving grace to that is that they're in their 20's still and willing/able to work full time so they can GENERATE a lot of income.
Uhmmmm... So yeah. GREAT. I have housemates again that are willing to pay, but I'm extremely worried about their ABILITY to pay... Hello again stress! I missed you this past week! :D</sarcasm>
An that stress has bore out, luckily not in the extreme, but I did let them know the first few months because of their situation and fully knowing it all, that I'd be lenient with the rent somewhat, and here we are on month 7 and it's been $500, $500, $600, $600, $600, $600, and finally last month he gave me $700. 0_0 Soooooo, do the math real quick and realize, they're basically behind by almost 2 whole months worth. GREAT, lovely, wonderful. Luckily they have been giving more as time goes by and they HAVE gotten more of their feet under them, including the friend getting a new job this month that is paying them more, and is also gonna do random drug testing so he has to quit his weed addiction which he blows a lot of money on, so that's also good, and thus has pledged this coming month to start giving the full $800 a month and possibly more to make up for it while also having enough to build up a savings at last. GOOD.
Still though, looking at my bank account which is now down overall by 3.2k from where it WAS at the end of last year because of all this shit (which 3k IS enough to be considered a a VERY SUBSTANTIAL hit to my net savings. Not more than half yet, but close), has me still feeling stress.
OH! and it was enough stress that my favorite of my 2 jobs, the one I've hat at the NFL stadium now for 14 years, I got three write ups for incidents at because of the stress doing stuff (namely I couldn't sleep one night before an event day and was caught falling asleep on my feet by a supervisor on shift, then messed up while calling out sick and trying to use sick time I didn't have enough for and getting written up for that, and then for taking too long on a lunch break), that they FIRED me after 14 years, sending me into ANOTHER massive "I cannot lift a fucking finger right now" funk last month that LUCKILY I was able to be reinstated from thanks to a call to the union, though of course now I'm nervous as hell on shift because I'm one slip-up away from being re-fired of course. So yeah THAT'S stressful too.
And the movie industry being stupid and idiots with continuing to insist on producing shit movies and letting that strike go on for so long last year, means that there've been ZERO good movies up until now with Deadpool 3 and thus the movie theater job I have has only been giving ONE SHIFT A WEEK 0_0.
Sooooo, yeah I think that covers about everything, and, my god how did I not lose it and end up like, fucking stabbing someone this year? Oh yeah, cause the election hasn't actually happened yet and the nervous hope is that it currently looks and feels like Trump and his godawful plans to unilaterally declare himself king, seize control of the whole government, and establish "YOU MUST FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE BIBLE"-land looks like it's going to be HANDILY defeated by the first actually GOOD SOUNDING campaigning democrat since Obama's campaign sixteen years ago. But like I said, it's a nervous hope right now cause I was one of those folks who thought Hillary was gonna slam-dunk the idiot and then, didn't. But for right now, I'm still at zero stabbings :P
an that's why I've been how I've been since 2024 started, and with the NFL season starting again soon I'm feeling a bit better and enough so that I've finally gone and organized my commissions again and taken on a number of them instead of the one-by-one's I've been doing in the background. But also yeah. Uhm. I came close to planning out a gofundme drive this year a couple times, but also have not because I've still got 4 digits worth of savings in the bank, and I know that every gofundme you do after the first are gonna produce diminishing returns, so for now, I'm holding off on the gofundme til I REALLY need it. Besides, what I need most in my life right now is just some stability going forwards. Like, once I start seeing that $800 a month in rent regularly and the NFL season ends and those 3 write-ups at the stadium expire and I'll no longer be 1 step away from losing the job I've loved for 14 years, I'll be WAY more comfortable. Still, if anyone WANTS to throw free money atm me, like, it will make me cry X3 my cashapp would be $jugglershark or just pay whatever you want for something from my gumroad page :) https://irongut.gumroad.com/
But yeah, I also just got a bunch of commissions too that I'll be working on steadily, so that was an influx of cash too :P thanks guys :) and the discord is up to date with all of them and their details and uhhhh, yeah :P So I'm doing alrighty-ish now, but man has this year been utterly stressful and I am more than ready for it to be over aside from the good parts :P
WELL. Let's just say, that whole incident got in fact WORSE. So I mentioned that they didn't pay any rent for December when they got back? Well I tried asking for it and they refused to respond about it... and then January ended, and they continued to refuse talking about it. Now call me a pushover if you want, but at the time I was like "Ok, if they're pissed enough they wanna skip December rent, then fine, I don't like that but I got money in the bank, I can live with it, if they get back to paying rent from here on we can move on."
Well January ends and... no rent. again. I'd been giving them their space to calm down and move on hopefully, but yeah January goes and now I'm worrying. Cause in order to continue to afford my house indefinitely, I NEED the rent from housemates, that's why I have them in the first place. $800 a month for two folks is a great damn deal and not a lot, but it also covers my base lot rent so all I need to pay is all the other expenses like electric, internet, insurance, etc. Which all together costs about $900 a month for. So I'm in fact still taking on the majority of the cost, but anyways.
We're now into THE END OF JANUARY and I'm just, in a fog. I have to confront them about this at some point, and thanks to my upbringing I am very much a non-confrontational person. I'm still thinking "Ok, if they get back to paying rent in February we can move forward still, I REALLY don't like it, but not as much as I hate having to hunt for housemates again cause I dunno how long it'll take to find someone who can RELIABLY handle $800 a month like these two do, because one works a whole lot making lots of money for amazon, and the other just sits home making a guaranteed $800 a month THEMSELVES off disability from the government, no job or nothing. They're the most stable renters I could ask for and have never asked to "hey can i pay less this month, money is tight" kind of thing. Until of course now, where we're 2 months without rent being paid, and I'm just, in a depressed funk doing nothing but playing video games on my off days and working the few work shifts I have, because I have ZERO control over what they actually do, and NO GOOD OPTIONS. Option 1: they get over this shit and start behaving like adults and get back to paying rent. GREAT, I'm STILL out $1600 though that I know I'm not gonna get. Option 2: I have to kick their asses out, they leave without issue, and I'm stuck paying ALL my costs, draining my bank account rapidly for I dunno how long it'll take to find someone else to take that space (which is especially tough cause they gotta be a furry, since I hold furry house parties every month, which have no dress code, and I don't wanna stop doing those.). Option 3: I kick them out, and they resist D8 Becoming squatters who claim they have a claim to the house legally because they've been here for 6 years and I stupidly have never had them sign a lease agreement D8. I LOVE MY HOUSE and DO NOT FUCKING WANT TO POTENTIALLY LOSE IT. and the way they acted in the first place yelling about how I was even IN their room while they were away was a "violation of their renters rights" makes me super afraid they're gonna go this way O_O
So yeah. I'm insanely stressed out, have nobody to help me out about all this, have absolutely no power over the situation, and my entire fate is in the hands of two folks who clearly hate me and are super pissed off and grudgy at me right now, oh and also SUCK at communication and have been (as I find out later) having LOTS of issues with the way I have been acting in my own house but have refused to TALK to me about ANY of them so I'm just blissfully autistic and unaware of any of it!
January 26th: Huh, one of their kitchen appliances they use isn't in the kitchen, that's weird.
January 27th: I wake up ad head out my room to go to the bathroom. Oh look! I see even more kitchen appliances that are theirs aren't in the kitchen, they're clearing the cupboards of their food stuff, and there's big cardboard boxes in the living room. OH FUCKING FANTASTIC. THEY ARE MOVING OUT. TODAY. RIGHT NOW. WITHOUT HAVING TOLD ME THEY WERE GONNA DO SO. SO NOT ONLY AM I NEVER GONNA SEE THE RENT FOR DECEMBER AND JANUARY FOR SURE, BUT THEY ARE ALSO FUCKING ME OVER BY ME NOT HAVING ANY TIME TO LOOK FOR A REPLACEMENT FOR THEM BEFORE THEY GO. GREAT! JUST, FUCKING GREAT!
I have basically one best friend who I trust here in the same state as me who like, regularly makes efforts to pay me back the money I lend him, who sleeps on my couch a night a week during the bowling league season cause he lives across the state now but still plays in his league he's been in for years since before he moved, and who I can open up to and vent to to talk about things who will understand and respect the fact that "just because I'm telling you this doesn't mean I want YOU to take control of the situation FOR me and start bombarding me with suggestions and telling me what to do, that's the LAST thing I want and why I DO NOT INFORM MY PARENTS about my life stuff (In fact, I've still yet to tell them about any of this situation today as of posting this.). And even he is just like, "Holy fucking shit these guys are so fucking immature and crossing so many lines here."
At this point though, when the night comes and they are actually fucking GONE, I am FUCKING relieved. Relieved that Option 3 has NOT happened, and at least I don't have to try and kick them out, they kicked themselves out, and I no longer have to deal with their childish fucking asses ever again. GOOD. FINE. I can live with this outcome, and at least the fucking month long hell of waiting is over.
I take a few days and with that one good friend I mentioned coming over for the weekend couch stay, me and him go through and HOLY FUCK CLEAN THE FUCKING HELL OUT OF THAT NOW MOSTLY EMPTY ROOM ONCE AND FOR ALL. and HOLY FUCK. Yeah, remember I talked about how much they abused the house from their lack of giving a shit and cleaning? yeah, the room was even worse. They put a hole in the wall moving their bed out, and did a hurried and awful patch job of covering the hole, the walls were caked in stains from their hands and feet at night against the walls, and the corners of the room that were behind furniture before have FUGGING MOLD TO CLEAN among the thick hairy dust layers. It takes like, two whole days to clean the room, but once it's done thank fuck it's done forever and good at long last and I love just being able to see and be in there again. a Whole new room of my own house! Oh yeah, time to clean and re-organize the REST of the house now too! Kitchen and living room take another whole day to get clean and organized, but I am just, HAPPY once I do because OMG for the first time in literally about half a decade, my house is FULLY CLEAN AND ORGANIZED. *content shark noisesssss*
Oh yeah, but I gotta find a new housemate now... one who can afford by themselves the $800 I was charging the both of them, or a duo of furs who are together and willing to share the room space @_@ greaaaaaat... I start posting around the NJ Furry telegram groups, and one of my oldest furry friends says he knows someone looking and can afford! Awesome :D I go and meet with them at their current spot, and they're lookin to move out within like, less than a few weeks time, and say the $800 would be cheap and easy :D WOO! Okay! This sounds great! They've got no issues with me or the house parties, have not a whole lot of stuff to move in so it'll all fit no prob, great! Let's do this!
3 days later: Oh I actually got somewhere else I'm moving into.
0_o ..... *CAN FEEL THE ANEURYSM FORMING IN MY HEAD*
Well on the SAME NIGHT actually, another friend of mine (one who is, unfortunately a lot LESS reliable about paying me back, but who I have been helping for a long time) and his boyfriend call me up. "Hey so uhhhh, my boyfriend's crazy ass mom who has hated us both until we said we were getting engaged and then was all lovey and accepting of us 6 months ago has changed their minds and issued a restraining order on us both TONIGHT and so we're being kicked out like, right now, the police outside, and we got nowhere to go or stay and also have like 2 and a half carloads worth of stuff to move NOW and our cat" 0_0
PAAAAAAART TWOOOOOOO BEGINS!
Soooooo, yeah. Them two are now here and uhhhhh, I guess I've found my new housemates, who have indeed agreed to do the $800 a month, but uhhhh, there's issues, mostly, FINANCIAL. I got no problem with either of them as people or anything, and immediately they are a fucking breath of fresh air in the way they are keeping things at least a LITTLE cleaner than the previous guys, and are respectful about like, asking and working with me FIRST before bringing in some new piece of kitchen equipment or furniture, recognizing this as MY HOUSE FIRST. But the finances. BF doesn't have a job at the moment, and the friend of mine is supporting them both plus the cat, has zero bank account balance saved, and is AWFUL at managing their money, has an AFWUL car finance they had to take cause they fucked up buying this car of theirs completely by waiting til the day before he needed to go back to work to buy it so he had zero ability to back out of the deal and the dealer shark smelled that blood in a SECOND and had us (oh yeah I was there as his driver and co-financer) waiting til end of day before giving us the "Take it or leave it" deal he knew we had no choice but to take. And the only saving grace to that is that they're in their 20's still and willing/able to work full time so they can GENERATE a lot of income.
Uhmmmm... So yeah. GREAT. I have housemates again that are willing to pay, but I'm extremely worried about their ABILITY to pay... Hello again stress! I missed you this past week! :D</sarcasm>
An that stress has bore out, luckily not in the extreme, but I did let them know the first few months because of their situation and fully knowing it all, that I'd be lenient with the rent somewhat, and here we are on month 7 and it's been $500, $500, $600, $600, $600, $600, and finally last month he gave me $700. 0_0 Soooooo, do the math real quick and realize, they're basically behind by almost 2 whole months worth. GREAT, lovely, wonderful. Luckily they have been giving more as time goes by and they HAVE gotten more of their feet under them, including the friend getting a new job this month that is paying them more, and is also gonna do random drug testing so he has to quit his weed addiction which he blows a lot of money on, so that's also good, and thus has pledged this coming month to start giving the full $800 a month and possibly more to make up for it while also having enough to build up a savings at last. GOOD.
Still though, looking at my bank account which is now down overall by 3.2k from where it WAS at the end of last year because of all this shit (which 3k IS enough to be considered a a VERY SUBSTANTIAL hit to my net savings. Not more than half yet, but close), has me still feeling stress.
OH! and it was enough stress that my favorite of my 2 jobs, the one I've hat at the NFL stadium now for 14 years, I got three write ups for incidents at because of the stress doing stuff (namely I couldn't sleep one night before an event day and was caught falling asleep on my feet by a supervisor on shift, then messed up while calling out sick and trying to use sick time I didn't have enough for and getting written up for that, and then for taking too long on a lunch break), that they FIRED me after 14 years, sending me into ANOTHER massive "I cannot lift a fucking finger right now" funk last month that LUCKILY I was able to be reinstated from thanks to a call to the union, though of course now I'm nervous as hell on shift because I'm one slip-up away from being re-fired of course. So yeah THAT'S stressful too.
And the movie industry being stupid and idiots with continuing to insist on producing shit movies and letting that strike go on for so long last year, means that there've been ZERO good movies up until now with Deadpool 3 and thus the movie theater job I have has only been giving ONE SHIFT A WEEK 0_0.
Sooooo, yeah I think that covers about everything, and, my god how did I not lose it and end up like, fucking stabbing someone this year? Oh yeah, cause the election hasn't actually happened yet and the nervous hope is that it currently looks and feels like Trump and his godawful plans to unilaterally declare himself king, seize control of the whole government, and establish "YOU MUST FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE BIBLE"-land looks like it's going to be HANDILY defeated by the first actually GOOD SOUNDING campaigning democrat since Obama's campaign sixteen years ago. But like I said, it's a nervous hope right now cause I was one of those folks who thought Hillary was gonna slam-dunk the idiot and then, didn't. But for right now, I'm still at zero stabbings :P
an that's why I've been how I've been since 2024 started, and with the NFL season starting again soon I'm feeling a bit better and enough so that I've finally gone and organized my commissions again and taken on a number of them instead of the one-by-one's I've been doing in the background. But also yeah. Uhm. I came close to planning out a gofundme drive this year a couple times, but also have not because I've still got 4 digits worth of savings in the bank, and I know that every gofundme you do after the first are gonna produce diminishing returns, so for now, I'm holding off on the gofundme til I REALLY need it. Besides, what I need most in my life right now is just some stability going forwards. Like, once I start seeing that $800 a month in rent regularly and the NFL season ends and those 3 write-ups at the stadium expire and I'll no longer be 1 step away from losing the job I've loved for 14 years, I'll be WAY more comfortable. Still, if anyone WANTS to throw free money atm me, like, it will make me cry X3 my cashapp would be $jugglershark or just pay whatever you want for something from my gumroad page :) https://irongut.gumroad.com/
But yeah, I also just got a bunch of commissions too that I'll be working on steadily, so that was an influx of cash too :P thanks guys :) and the discord is up to date with all of them and their details and uhhhh, yeah :P So I'm doing alrighty-ish now, but man has this year been utterly stressful and I am more than ready for it to be over aside from the good parts :P
Burnt Fins Update
Posted 2 years agoSo whoah has it been a whirlpool of stuff happening ever since the last journal I posted *looks* HOLY HELL not even TEN DAYS AGO!?!? Holy Posiedon...
Anyways, uhhh. So yeah. Let's start where we left off last time. Grand and Bob had not paid their December rent, and now it’s coming to the end of January and I’m worried they aren’t going to pay their upcoming January rent, though I’m working off the assumption that they are going to, because if they want to stay renting from me, how the hell many months can they think it’s ok to blow off and be expected to be allowed to stay? One MAYBE. MAYBE. But two or more is beyond unacceptable.
So it's Friday, four days after I posted my previous journal, and when I go to my kitchen, I notice one of their countertop kitchen appliances isn't anywhere in there. I think “Awww cmon, are you that petty in wanting to avoid me that you’re even COOKING in your room now? No, that's not acceptable either.” and I note that in my head to talk about the house meeting I am planning to do the day after they pay their January rent, that way they can’t withhold that from me cause they’re pissed about what I say and do during the house meeting. And then I go to sleep. For the record; my house meeting was primarily going to be me proposing a way for us all to move forward and work out the house's problems, by writing up a rental agreement, and each member of the house takes turns writing rules for the house. So I write a rule for them, they write a rule for me, I write a rule for them, they write a rule for me, so on and so forth until every last issue everyone has with each other is addressed. Yknow? Like Adults would do. Try to work things out, fix things, solve a problem…
I wake up later on in the afternoon, sleeping in as I’ve been doing lately because fuck me I just am not built for handling this kind of stress caused by such uncertainty as not knowing if I’m gonna get the rent that I need to keep my fucking house, and when I go out to the kitchen to make my breakfast, I discover what's ACTUALLY going on. I see Bob standing in front of their designated food cabinet, the cabinet is open, and is 90% cleaned out, another of their kitchen appliances is gone, and there's a big cardboard box in the living room. “OH. I SEE. FUCKING GREAT. SO YOU’RE MOVING OUT ON ME AND NEVER TOLD ME. AND CLEARLY NOT GONNA PAY JANUARY RENT EITHER BECAUSE YOU ARE SPECIFICALLY TIMING YOUR MOVE TO BE JUST A WEEK BEFORE THE END OF THE MONTH.” of course this I’m only 75% sure of, the other 25% because I REALLY REALLY want to be wrong and don’t want the fact that they're stiffing me TWO months of rent and leaving me zero advance notice to find a new person to rent to which could take weeks or months to be true. But yeah an hour or two later I come back and confront them about it to confirm that they’re leaving, at which point I GET SCREAMED AT BY GRANT immediately after Bob says “yep we’re out” and embarrassedly mentions about “how he wanted to try and tell me earlier but blah blah blah couldn’t figure out the words” or whatever it was he said, I can’t fully remember cause at that point inside I was fuming and just keeping on my customer service face. For fucks sake.
So they move out and by the late hours of the night/morning hours, they are gone from the house and gone from my life forever. And you know what I’m thinking at this point? “GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.” Cause all of the frustrations of living with them are coming back to me all at once from memory. From the zero communication they did (literally I asked them years ago to tell me when I need to shower cause I can’t tell my own stink, and they never once did. That's just one example of many examples of 0 communication from them), to the borderline hoarding they did (getting so much food stuff and kitchen equipment and other stuff they would never use and that just takes up the extremely limited space I have in a damn MOBILE HOME, especially when stuff EXPIRES and is STILL THERE A YEAR OR MORE AFTER IT’S EXPIRED), to the zero cleaning up after themselves (leaving the trays the food was cooked on across countertops instead of in the sink so they could run off to their room and eat the food as fast as possible, and never come back to put the dirty trays in the sink. Nor empty the sink into the dishwasher no matter how full it was until they literally ran out of clean bowls to use for themselves), to going back on longstanding deals we’d had and not telling me they’re not doing it anymore (namely that they'd be the ones to buy consumable products (paper towels, dishwasher cubes, laundry detergent, garbage bags) for the house cause they had the BJ’s wholesale membership and could get a better deal on them, and also with me barely using any of them compared to their usage), and those are just the major issues I can remember right now about, there were many more. But I’ll leave that alone, because this is not a post meant to defame them, and even though I’ve left their names anonymous, people who know me IRL know who Bob n Grant really are.
So anyways, I then find out who they are renting a space from, and it's a very good furry friend of mine I have known for almost 20 years now, and I’ll be damned if I let them get away with doing the same to him they did to me, cause he’s like me and is very trusting. So I give him all this warning and info and now he’s definitely gonna be having them sign a rental agreement which outlines his household expectations, good. While I’m talking to him, he actually lets me know about another fur who is looking for a space to rent too. Holy shit, EXCELLENT.
I start chatting with this new prospect we’ll call Larry, and he’s another furry, sounds super reasonable, a clean freak, and is happy to pay what Bob and Grant were paying together?! Awesome! We’re making plans and he says he’s ready to move in in a week which would have been this Friday, he’s just waiting on his paycheck to come in, sweet! I might not miss out on January rent after all if he’s able to pay his first rent up front :) I even go visit him on Monday and we get along great and I see his stuff will absolutely all fit in my place.
Then comes Tuesday Night and I get a telegram call from a buddy of mine we’ll call Ian. Ian had previously rented my couch for cheap as a stopgap to keep from living in his car, and then gone to live with his Fiancee who we’ll call Mondo. Well Mondo’s mom is a crazy person who has had it out for Mondo and Ian for a while until they broke the news about getting engaged and then it was all “zomg fambily! Yes yes come in come in all is forgiven! I’ll even put you to get the house in my willlll!”. Well I was insanely skeptical but Ian moved in with Mondo at their moms place anyways. So here we are a few months later on Tuesday, and in the middle of the night, crazy mom has filed a bullshit assault charge and restraining order on Mondo and is kicking them both out the house regardless of them having nowhere to go… aside from my couches…
It’s been about 4 days I think since Grant and Bob have gone out and I've spent all of those past days cleaning up the house in their aftermath, finding all the crap they've left behind, scrubbing clean the dust and scuffs from the walls of their former room, and finding the hole in the wall they made on their way out and sloppily repaired using a plaster repair kit. I’ve been feeling really good, great in fact, knowing I’ve got somebody to potentially cover what they were both paying in rent coming in soon, my house is finally clean, and empty of unnecessary clutter, and ORGANIZED for the first time in years without me having any pushback about “I CAN’T FIND MY SHIT IF YOU MOVE IT YOU ASSHOLU!!!” from the entitled/spoiled B&G.
So now I’ve got Larry coming in on Friday to a house which now is going to have the trio of Ian, Mondo, their Cat (I’ll shorthand refer to them as I.M.C. from now on), and allll their stuff taking up the living room and couches and I have no idea if there’s gonna be any possible way to have enough space even to have the trio temporarily staying. Then I remember that my other good friend Oscar is looking for renters and this is perfect for I.M.C. to go to! Ok, we’ll make the connections in the morning cause I just spent two hours quickly helping on zero notice I.M.C. getting alll they owned out of the crazy moms house and over her to me, and we’re all tired.
Well I wake up in the morning and check Telegram to find that Larry has found out that another space he was looking at renting before is still available, and it’ll be a bigger space than me for only a little more, so he’s going there instead… Wellllll so much for things lining up perfectly for everyone. Either now Oscar gets I.M.C. and I still have to find someone, or I get I.M.C. (who I’m a little worried about them being able to afford the $800 a month I need, but only somewhat) and Oscar still is shit outta luck. Annnnd that's where I am right now on Thursday afternoon as I type this all out.
What felt like everything was all settled and ready to go for the foreseeable future for about 56 hours, just long enough to feel a magical relief of stress, suddenly got completely flipped upside down AGAIN, where it MAYBE looks like I’m set but I’m worried about I.M.C’s financing abilities, and my good friend who I excitedly had a great solution for that vanished into a puff before I was even able to tell them about it, leaving me feeling guilty cause he’s been in the loop about I.M.C and Larry himself at the same time and it looks like he’s getting absolutely no help at all (seriously, if you need a place and are able to move to Elizabeth NJ, pleaaase consider him, he’s a great guy and has a good space to offer https://t.me/NJTony ). and with I.M.C being cash strapped now it looks like I AM indeed out January’s rent too, leaving me $1600 in the hole on the same month my car insurance needs renewing and where my job at Metlife Stadium is done for the season and my job at the movies is cutting hours/shifts cause its the super slow season and I’m now getting just one shift a week from them… for the first time ever, I’m seriously contemplating breaking the gofundme glass and asking folks for help @_@ (for the moment, if you wanna help support me, you can head to my gumroad and pay however much you wanna give for any of my models I’ve made :P https://irongut.gumroad.com/ )
So going from Burnt Fins to a shark flying through the air after being shot from a canon and unable to see if the safety net has been finished being built yet, yyyyyep, this story ain’t over yet and I am just the most bwarrrrgh I’ve ever been.
Anyways, uhhh. So yeah. Let's start where we left off last time. Grand and Bob had not paid their December rent, and now it’s coming to the end of January and I’m worried they aren’t going to pay their upcoming January rent, though I’m working off the assumption that they are going to, because if they want to stay renting from me, how the hell many months can they think it’s ok to blow off and be expected to be allowed to stay? One MAYBE. MAYBE. But two or more is beyond unacceptable.
So it's Friday, four days after I posted my previous journal, and when I go to my kitchen, I notice one of their countertop kitchen appliances isn't anywhere in there. I think “Awww cmon, are you that petty in wanting to avoid me that you’re even COOKING in your room now? No, that's not acceptable either.” and I note that in my head to talk about the house meeting I am planning to do the day after they pay their January rent, that way they can’t withhold that from me cause they’re pissed about what I say and do during the house meeting. And then I go to sleep. For the record; my house meeting was primarily going to be me proposing a way for us all to move forward and work out the house's problems, by writing up a rental agreement, and each member of the house takes turns writing rules for the house. So I write a rule for them, they write a rule for me, I write a rule for them, they write a rule for me, so on and so forth until every last issue everyone has with each other is addressed. Yknow? Like Adults would do. Try to work things out, fix things, solve a problem…
I wake up later on in the afternoon, sleeping in as I’ve been doing lately because fuck me I just am not built for handling this kind of stress caused by such uncertainty as not knowing if I’m gonna get the rent that I need to keep my fucking house, and when I go out to the kitchen to make my breakfast, I discover what's ACTUALLY going on. I see Bob standing in front of their designated food cabinet, the cabinet is open, and is 90% cleaned out, another of their kitchen appliances is gone, and there's a big cardboard box in the living room. “OH. I SEE. FUCKING GREAT. SO YOU’RE MOVING OUT ON ME AND NEVER TOLD ME. AND CLEARLY NOT GONNA PAY JANUARY RENT EITHER BECAUSE YOU ARE SPECIFICALLY TIMING YOUR MOVE TO BE JUST A WEEK BEFORE THE END OF THE MONTH.” of course this I’m only 75% sure of, the other 25% because I REALLY REALLY want to be wrong and don’t want the fact that they're stiffing me TWO months of rent and leaving me zero advance notice to find a new person to rent to which could take weeks or months to be true. But yeah an hour or two later I come back and confront them about it to confirm that they’re leaving, at which point I GET SCREAMED AT BY GRANT immediately after Bob says “yep we’re out” and embarrassedly mentions about “how he wanted to try and tell me earlier but blah blah blah couldn’t figure out the words” or whatever it was he said, I can’t fully remember cause at that point inside I was fuming and just keeping on my customer service face. For fucks sake.
So they move out and by the late hours of the night/morning hours, they are gone from the house and gone from my life forever. And you know what I’m thinking at this point? “GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE.” Cause all of the frustrations of living with them are coming back to me all at once from memory. From the zero communication they did (literally I asked them years ago to tell me when I need to shower cause I can’t tell my own stink, and they never once did. That's just one example of many examples of 0 communication from them), to the borderline hoarding they did (getting so much food stuff and kitchen equipment and other stuff they would never use and that just takes up the extremely limited space I have in a damn MOBILE HOME, especially when stuff EXPIRES and is STILL THERE A YEAR OR MORE AFTER IT’S EXPIRED), to the zero cleaning up after themselves (leaving the trays the food was cooked on across countertops instead of in the sink so they could run off to their room and eat the food as fast as possible, and never come back to put the dirty trays in the sink. Nor empty the sink into the dishwasher no matter how full it was until they literally ran out of clean bowls to use for themselves), to going back on longstanding deals we’d had and not telling me they’re not doing it anymore (namely that they'd be the ones to buy consumable products (paper towels, dishwasher cubes, laundry detergent, garbage bags) for the house cause they had the BJ’s wholesale membership and could get a better deal on them, and also with me barely using any of them compared to their usage), and those are just the major issues I can remember right now about, there were many more. But I’ll leave that alone, because this is not a post meant to defame them, and even though I’ve left their names anonymous, people who know me IRL know who Bob n Grant really are.
So anyways, I then find out who they are renting a space from, and it's a very good furry friend of mine I have known for almost 20 years now, and I’ll be damned if I let them get away with doing the same to him they did to me, cause he’s like me and is very trusting. So I give him all this warning and info and now he’s definitely gonna be having them sign a rental agreement which outlines his household expectations, good. While I’m talking to him, he actually lets me know about another fur who is looking for a space to rent too. Holy shit, EXCELLENT.
I start chatting with this new prospect we’ll call Larry, and he’s another furry, sounds super reasonable, a clean freak, and is happy to pay what Bob and Grant were paying together?! Awesome! We’re making plans and he says he’s ready to move in in a week which would have been this Friday, he’s just waiting on his paycheck to come in, sweet! I might not miss out on January rent after all if he’s able to pay his first rent up front :) I even go visit him on Monday and we get along great and I see his stuff will absolutely all fit in my place.
Then comes Tuesday Night and I get a telegram call from a buddy of mine we’ll call Ian. Ian had previously rented my couch for cheap as a stopgap to keep from living in his car, and then gone to live with his Fiancee who we’ll call Mondo. Well Mondo’s mom is a crazy person who has had it out for Mondo and Ian for a while until they broke the news about getting engaged and then it was all “zomg fambily! Yes yes come in come in all is forgiven! I’ll even put you to get the house in my willlll!”. Well I was insanely skeptical but Ian moved in with Mondo at their moms place anyways. So here we are a few months later on Tuesday, and in the middle of the night, crazy mom has filed a bullshit assault charge and restraining order on Mondo and is kicking them both out the house regardless of them having nowhere to go… aside from my couches…
It’s been about 4 days I think since Grant and Bob have gone out and I've spent all of those past days cleaning up the house in their aftermath, finding all the crap they've left behind, scrubbing clean the dust and scuffs from the walls of their former room, and finding the hole in the wall they made on their way out and sloppily repaired using a plaster repair kit. I’ve been feeling really good, great in fact, knowing I’ve got somebody to potentially cover what they were both paying in rent coming in soon, my house is finally clean, and empty of unnecessary clutter, and ORGANIZED for the first time in years without me having any pushback about “I CAN’T FIND MY SHIT IF YOU MOVE IT YOU ASSHOLU!!!” from the entitled/spoiled B&G.
So now I’ve got Larry coming in on Friday to a house which now is going to have the trio of Ian, Mondo, their Cat (I’ll shorthand refer to them as I.M.C. from now on), and allll their stuff taking up the living room and couches and I have no idea if there’s gonna be any possible way to have enough space even to have the trio temporarily staying. Then I remember that my other good friend Oscar is looking for renters and this is perfect for I.M.C. to go to! Ok, we’ll make the connections in the morning cause I just spent two hours quickly helping on zero notice I.M.C. getting alll they owned out of the crazy moms house and over her to me, and we’re all tired.
Well I wake up in the morning and check Telegram to find that Larry has found out that another space he was looking at renting before is still available, and it’ll be a bigger space than me for only a little more, so he’s going there instead… Wellllll so much for things lining up perfectly for everyone. Either now Oscar gets I.M.C. and I still have to find someone, or I get I.M.C. (who I’m a little worried about them being able to afford the $800 a month I need, but only somewhat) and Oscar still is shit outta luck. Annnnd that's where I am right now on Thursday afternoon as I type this all out.
What felt like everything was all settled and ready to go for the foreseeable future for about 56 hours, just long enough to feel a magical relief of stress, suddenly got completely flipped upside down AGAIN, where it MAYBE looks like I’m set but I’m worried about I.M.C’s financing abilities, and my good friend who I excitedly had a great solution for that vanished into a puff before I was even able to tell them about it, leaving me feeling guilty cause he’s been in the loop about I.M.C and Larry himself at the same time and it looks like he’s getting absolutely no help at all (seriously, if you need a place and are able to move to Elizabeth NJ, pleaaase consider him, he’s a great guy and has a good space to offer https://t.me/NJTony ). and with I.M.C being cash strapped now it looks like I AM indeed out January’s rent too, leaving me $1600 in the hole on the same month my car insurance needs renewing and where my job at Metlife Stadium is done for the season and my job at the movies is cutting hours/shifts cause its the super slow season and I’m now getting just one shift a week from them… for the first time ever, I’m seriously contemplating breaking the gofundme glass and asking folks for help @_@ (for the moment, if you wanna help support me, you can head to my gumroad and pay however much you wanna give for any of my models I’ve made :P https://irongut.gumroad.com/ )
So going from Burnt Fins to a shark flying through the air after being shot from a canon and unable to see if the safety net has been finished being built yet, yyyyyep, this story ain’t over yet and I am just the most bwarrrrgh I’ve ever been.
Shark Has Burnt Fins
Posted 2 years agoblaaaargh. Ok. First things first, my mate 
XavierMaldonado1 is doing a gofundme because they are behind on finances and work's not giving him enough hours and he needs to get his car right before he can do just about anything. https://www.gofundme.com/f/s9hnq-emergency-funds-needed-please-help So if you can spare any change at all pls send it to him :P
Thats one thing I wanted to boost right up front, which has been weighing on me some cause I wanna help him more but I haven't even been able to contribute because I myself am tight on cash. Why? Well let me tell you dear friends. It alllll started on New Years Eve.
So for those who do not know, I am a homeowner (mobile home) and to make it affordable for me to live here indefinitely without draining my finances, I rent out the second bedroom which I have no use for myself to 2 other furries who are boyfriends with one another. For the sake of keeping them anonymous to those who don't know them already, Imma call em Bob and Grant. Bob moved in first, then Grant after him, and when they moved in I left some things in the room of mine for them to use, like a couch of mine and a lazyboy recliner among a few other things. The latter is the relevant thing, because as they got furniture for themselves and rearranged the room to their needs, all my former stuff I left in there for them we got out and the only thing left was the lazyboy. Thing is, they didn't use it for sitting in at all, I think ever. It was fine and just sat there for a while, but then I noticed whenever I went in there that they were starting to pile stuff up on top of it, namely clothing baskets full of clothes and stuff. Now I'm not one to but in to other peoples rooms and lifestyles, mostly because I resent the hell out of my dad for doing that just about my entire life living with my folks all the way up until the day I moved out just before turning 30. But it was getting bad the amount they were just chucking things on top of it when the pandemic lockdowns started. I started asking them "Hey, can we like, organize a day where we can get the chairs out and I'll help you guys put in like, shelves and shit so that room can be better organized?"
I ask this of them every so often for about 2 years before changing to "Ok, just gimme a day, and I'll do all the work even. I'll buy the shelves, put them in, everything, just tell me a day to do it." Once again, procrastination and avoidance is all I get from them, while I continue to leave them be and don't even go into their room because yknow, it's their room, even when the glances I do get inside look like complete and utter hell as there is literally piles of things FILLING the corner of the room where the chair is, to the point where you cannot even SEE the chair anymore, literally. So here comes New Years Eve. The two of them leave the house to go to New Years Furry Ball, a mini-convention that I don't bother to go to because I think it's too short. I tend to only go to 3 day weekend cons that take place at hotels.) So you can see what I'm thinking yes? "This is my one, and probably ONLY chance to get this shit DONE and FIX this hoarding mess that's in my house. Let's do this!"
I go out and buy the $100 shelving unit I had previously measured would be the best fit for the corner of the room, come home, and start digging. Throwing away literally NOTHING, because I'm not an asshole like my dad who would just whirlwind through my room and toss anything that remotely LOOKED like trash, I take the literal 7 baskets of clothing and put them on the bed for now, then take the literal stack of papers that ate 90% mail and put them into a box for them so that the papers wouldn't slide and fall everywhere at the slightest touch like they were about to. I take ALLLLL of the food items they had in there and put them out onto the kitchen counters for them to put away when they get back wherever in the kitchen they want, because yknow, thats where food belongs, in the kitchen. I then empty their trash bin and all the trash that was sitting around it that was clearly tossed there because the trash can was full and they were too lazy to ever empty it because it's a can that has a closing lid. I take all the stuff they had stored by letting it sit on the floor and put it on top of their desks. At LAST I was able to REACH the lazyboy. I manage to get it out of the room, and then I vacuumed up a bunch of dust from the carpet, literally black in the corners by the walls because they hadn't even been able to reach back there in multiple years. FINALLY I managed to put up the shelving unit and put away a bunch of their stuff onto the shelving unit including those 7 clothing baskets.
All that took me 8 hours to do, and the shelving unit cost me a hundred bucks. I telegram them a picture of the work I'd done and how the room looks now, and the only response I get is that they are PISSED. Pissed off enough to count as enraged. Not going to copypaste what they yelled at me about but some highlightable word choices are "this was illegal" "I can't believe that I can't trust my room" "rummaging through my things" "you violated me"
Now, not to put up an entirely innocent facade. They're right. I didn't ask them right before they left for permission first. Huge fuck up on my part, I'll admit, and I apologized for it (when they literally stormed into my room after getting back, screaming "FUCK YOU" "YOU ARE THE WORST" in my face and punching my trash can in aggression while I'm there trapped in a corner wondering if I'm about to be aggravatedly assaulted by two men who I would be defenseless against, mister "illegal". yeah, how about I counter-sue you for intimidation and violation of MY privacy by entering MY room without permission huh? Exactly what you are pissed off about me having done. So you get to do it because you're pissed off and I don't because I'm trying to amintain my own house?)
But here's the next kickers. Firstly. They hadn't paid their December rents before leaving for their convention. and still haven't as of this typing. Secondly, they haven't talked to me at all, despite me telegramming them in a group chat about doing a house meeting so we can establish some house rules for one another, back and forth, each of us writes a rule, then the next person, and the next person. Grant even went and LEFT the household chatroom. So yeah, the only way I have to talk to them now is literally confronting him face to face, which partly I do not want to do because they are going to be angry and aggressive, I want everything to be on the record now since they threw around the word illegal, meaning me to think they are pissed enough to be potentially considering legal action.
So. I'd already had issues with them for the past few years about how they'd leave clutter in the shared rooms of the house already, rarely put things away after using them, didn't do ANY sort of cleaning around the house except for one thing, the toilet seat, and never communicate anything with me (I'd asked them in the past to let me know if I smell to go take a shower because I can't tell, and they've never done so. Plus we used to have an arrangement because they have a BJ's wholesale membership that they would get household stuff like garbage bags/detergent/dishwasher cubes/paper towels because they can get them much cheaper in bulk and also they went through those all more than I did anyways, but now are hoarding all of those in their room or simply not buying them thus forcing me to buy them, without ever saying "No we're not doing this anymore" at any point to me, so Gee thanks guys for the heads up.) But that tangent aside, I'd had issues with them for years now, but their one saving grace was that I got 2 checks of rent from them, every month, on time, every month. Never missed one. (granted I am only charging them each $400 each, so it's not much at all for NJ (which brings up another issue is that holy hell they have no idea how spoiled they are with this it seems, or have lost sight of it.))
So now for the past month, because I'm not a very confrontational guy, I've been at my wits fucking end trying to figure out how to ask them for the months rent they both owe, while also wondering if this is something they are doing in retaliation, and if they'd ever do this again in the future, because I rely on that fucking rent to stay stable in my income. I literally cannot afford to keep this house without it. I'D EVEN ASKED IF THEY WERE GOING TO PAY ME PARTIALLY, WHICH I'D HAVE AND MAY STILL ACCEPT JUST TO GET A FUCKING DEFINITIVE ANSWER TO THIS MESS OUT OF THEM. Also is what I done REALLY worth a thousand dollar "fuck you"? Cause holy fuck I sure don't think so, especially cause my dad did WAY worse to me even up into my 20's living in his house. My brain has been completely unable to think of anything else this whole month now because of this situation, and because of it I haven't been getting good sleep, nor have I been able to get ANY sort of work done on commissions I owe or anything because my brain is so pre-occupied with thoughts of "Am I gonna have to kick them out? I don't want to, but now I also DO want to? Who would I get to replace them? How fast COULD I replace them? Do I even need to? Are they gonna go back to paying their rent reliably? Or are they gonna continue like this? What do I do? How do I fix this situation? What the FUCK do I do when someone refuses to let me offer a potential solution to fix an obviously broken household, trapping me in my own fucking house in a state of stress???"
Oh and Bob and Grant also never actually signed any sort of lease agreement with me so it's all been off the books anyways and we literally never established any rules for anyone else cause at the time of them moving in they were fucking reasonable people and like I said, somewhere along the line during the covid years in particular that seemed to change.
Am I the asshole here? And regardless of if I am or not, what the fuck do I do?!?! What the fuck do they want from me aside from leaving them alone like I had BEEN doing, and this was the one and only time I would EVER have done anything like this because it was way over the line. Oh, also like I said, my boyfriend is running a gofundme I can't help with cause I'm down on cash because my housemates have withheld their months rent, AND one of my good friends went and had to go to the hospital a week ago, and while he was there his fucking dad died, PLUS my other furry friend whom I'd helped out in the past with stuff (their car is literally under my name for better insurance rate and financing reasons) still owes me 4 grand and hasn't been paying me back anything since October, and another friend who owes me cash but is much better and open and actually talks to me is paused their incremental paying me back cause THEY are on hard times too, OH AND THE MOBILE HOME PARK JUST UPPED MY RENT TOO IN DECEMBER (and I hadn't upped Bob and Grant's rents to match it last time they did, so this time I have to), so THATS all fun and on my mind too along with the looming stress of me knowing I'm not gonna be able to focus on getting long overdue commissions done until I sort this situation out which it looks like it's NOT gonna be sorted out. SO FUCK ME I GUESS????
Posted using PostyBirb
XavierMaldonado1 is doing a gofundme because they are behind on finances and work's not giving him enough hours and he needs to get his car right before he can do just about anything. https://www.gofundme.com/f/s9hnq-emergency-funds-needed-please-help So if you can spare any change at all pls send it to him :PThats one thing I wanted to boost right up front, which has been weighing on me some cause I wanna help him more but I haven't even been able to contribute because I myself am tight on cash. Why? Well let me tell you dear friends. It alllll started on New Years Eve.
So for those who do not know, I am a homeowner (mobile home) and to make it affordable for me to live here indefinitely without draining my finances, I rent out the second bedroom which I have no use for myself to 2 other furries who are boyfriends with one another. For the sake of keeping them anonymous to those who don't know them already, Imma call em Bob and Grant. Bob moved in first, then Grant after him, and when they moved in I left some things in the room of mine for them to use, like a couch of mine and a lazyboy recliner among a few other things. The latter is the relevant thing, because as they got furniture for themselves and rearranged the room to their needs, all my former stuff I left in there for them we got out and the only thing left was the lazyboy. Thing is, they didn't use it for sitting in at all, I think ever. It was fine and just sat there for a while, but then I noticed whenever I went in there that they were starting to pile stuff up on top of it, namely clothing baskets full of clothes and stuff. Now I'm not one to but in to other peoples rooms and lifestyles, mostly because I resent the hell out of my dad for doing that just about my entire life living with my folks all the way up until the day I moved out just before turning 30. But it was getting bad the amount they were just chucking things on top of it when the pandemic lockdowns started. I started asking them "Hey, can we like, organize a day where we can get the chairs out and I'll help you guys put in like, shelves and shit so that room can be better organized?"
I ask this of them every so often for about 2 years before changing to "Ok, just gimme a day, and I'll do all the work even. I'll buy the shelves, put them in, everything, just tell me a day to do it." Once again, procrastination and avoidance is all I get from them, while I continue to leave them be and don't even go into their room because yknow, it's their room, even when the glances I do get inside look like complete and utter hell as there is literally piles of things FILLING the corner of the room where the chair is, to the point where you cannot even SEE the chair anymore, literally. So here comes New Years Eve. The two of them leave the house to go to New Years Furry Ball, a mini-convention that I don't bother to go to because I think it's too short. I tend to only go to 3 day weekend cons that take place at hotels.) So you can see what I'm thinking yes? "This is my one, and probably ONLY chance to get this shit DONE and FIX this hoarding mess that's in my house. Let's do this!"
I go out and buy the $100 shelving unit I had previously measured would be the best fit for the corner of the room, come home, and start digging. Throwing away literally NOTHING, because I'm not an asshole like my dad who would just whirlwind through my room and toss anything that remotely LOOKED like trash, I take the literal 7 baskets of clothing and put them on the bed for now, then take the literal stack of papers that ate 90% mail and put them into a box for them so that the papers wouldn't slide and fall everywhere at the slightest touch like they were about to. I take ALLLLL of the food items they had in there and put them out onto the kitchen counters for them to put away when they get back wherever in the kitchen they want, because yknow, thats where food belongs, in the kitchen. I then empty their trash bin and all the trash that was sitting around it that was clearly tossed there because the trash can was full and they were too lazy to ever empty it because it's a can that has a closing lid. I take all the stuff they had stored by letting it sit on the floor and put it on top of their desks. At LAST I was able to REACH the lazyboy. I manage to get it out of the room, and then I vacuumed up a bunch of dust from the carpet, literally black in the corners by the walls because they hadn't even been able to reach back there in multiple years. FINALLY I managed to put up the shelving unit and put away a bunch of their stuff onto the shelving unit including those 7 clothing baskets.
All that took me 8 hours to do, and the shelving unit cost me a hundred bucks. I telegram them a picture of the work I'd done and how the room looks now, and the only response I get is that they are PISSED. Pissed off enough to count as enraged. Not going to copypaste what they yelled at me about but some highlightable word choices are "this was illegal" "I can't believe that I can't trust my room" "rummaging through my things" "you violated me"
Now, not to put up an entirely innocent facade. They're right. I didn't ask them right before they left for permission first. Huge fuck up on my part, I'll admit, and I apologized for it (when they literally stormed into my room after getting back, screaming "FUCK YOU" "YOU ARE THE WORST" in my face and punching my trash can in aggression while I'm there trapped in a corner wondering if I'm about to be aggravatedly assaulted by two men who I would be defenseless against, mister "illegal". yeah, how about I counter-sue you for intimidation and violation of MY privacy by entering MY room without permission huh? Exactly what you are pissed off about me having done. So you get to do it because you're pissed off and I don't because I'm trying to amintain my own house?)
But here's the next kickers. Firstly. They hadn't paid their December rents before leaving for their convention. and still haven't as of this typing. Secondly, they haven't talked to me at all, despite me telegramming them in a group chat about doing a house meeting so we can establish some house rules for one another, back and forth, each of us writes a rule, then the next person, and the next person. Grant even went and LEFT the household chatroom. So yeah, the only way I have to talk to them now is literally confronting him face to face, which partly I do not want to do because they are going to be angry and aggressive, I want everything to be on the record now since they threw around the word illegal, meaning me to think they are pissed enough to be potentially considering legal action.
So. I'd already had issues with them for the past few years about how they'd leave clutter in the shared rooms of the house already, rarely put things away after using them, didn't do ANY sort of cleaning around the house except for one thing, the toilet seat, and never communicate anything with me (I'd asked them in the past to let me know if I smell to go take a shower because I can't tell, and they've never done so. Plus we used to have an arrangement because they have a BJ's wholesale membership that they would get household stuff like garbage bags/detergent/dishwasher cubes/paper towels because they can get them much cheaper in bulk and also they went through those all more than I did anyways, but now are hoarding all of those in their room or simply not buying them thus forcing me to buy them, without ever saying "No we're not doing this anymore" at any point to me, so Gee thanks guys for the heads up.) But that tangent aside, I'd had issues with them for years now, but their one saving grace was that I got 2 checks of rent from them, every month, on time, every month. Never missed one. (granted I am only charging them each $400 each, so it's not much at all for NJ (which brings up another issue is that holy hell they have no idea how spoiled they are with this it seems, or have lost sight of it.))
So now for the past month, because I'm not a very confrontational guy, I've been at my wits fucking end trying to figure out how to ask them for the months rent they both owe, while also wondering if this is something they are doing in retaliation, and if they'd ever do this again in the future, because I rely on that fucking rent to stay stable in my income. I literally cannot afford to keep this house without it. I'D EVEN ASKED IF THEY WERE GOING TO PAY ME PARTIALLY, WHICH I'D HAVE AND MAY STILL ACCEPT JUST TO GET A FUCKING DEFINITIVE ANSWER TO THIS MESS OUT OF THEM. Also is what I done REALLY worth a thousand dollar "fuck you"? Cause holy fuck I sure don't think so, especially cause my dad did WAY worse to me even up into my 20's living in his house. My brain has been completely unable to think of anything else this whole month now because of this situation, and because of it I haven't been getting good sleep, nor have I been able to get ANY sort of work done on commissions I owe or anything because my brain is so pre-occupied with thoughts of "Am I gonna have to kick them out? I don't want to, but now I also DO want to? Who would I get to replace them? How fast COULD I replace them? Do I even need to? Are they gonna go back to paying their rent reliably? Or are they gonna continue like this? What do I do? How do I fix this situation? What the FUCK do I do when someone refuses to let me offer a potential solution to fix an obviously broken household, trapping me in my own fucking house in a state of stress???"
Oh and Bob and Grant also never actually signed any sort of lease agreement with me so it's all been off the books anyways and we literally never established any rules for anyone else cause at the time of them moving in they were fucking reasonable people and like I said, somewhere along the line during the covid years in particular that seemed to change.
Am I the asshole here? And regardless of if I am or not, what the fuck do I do?!?! What the fuck do they want from me aside from leaving them alone like I had BEEN doing, and this was the one and only time I would EVER have done anything like this because it was way over the line. Oh, also like I said, my boyfriend is running a gofundme I can't help with cause I'm down on cash because my housemates have withheld their months rent, AND one of my good friends went and had to go to the hospital a week ago, and while he was there his fucking dad died, PLUS my other furry friend whom I'd helped out in the past with stuff (their car is literally under my name for better insurance rate and financing reasons) still owes me 4 grand and hasn't been paying me back anything since October, and another friend who owes me cash but is much better and open and actually talks to me is paused their incremental paying me back cause THEY are on hard times too, OH AND THE MOBILE HOME PARK JUST UPPED MY RENT TOO IN DECEMBER (and I hadn't upped Bob and Grant's rents to match it last time they did, so this time I have to), so THATS all fun and on my mind too along with the looming stress of me knowing I'm not gonna be able to focus on getting long overdue commissions done until I sort this situation out which it looks like it's NOT gonna be sorted out. SO FUCK ME I GUESS????
Posted using PostyBirb
Raffle Boosty Journal
Posted 2 years agohttps://www.furaffinity.net/journal/10757030/
1000 followers is coming up for Arky and
to celebrate he will also be hosting a raffle!
Go give him a follow!
1000 followers is coming up for Arky and
to celebrate he will also be hosting a raffle!
Go give him a follow!
Burfday Shork 2023
Posted 2 years agoWHEEEEEEEEEEEE *Spins in chair to try and distract myself from all the work shifts I have and all the commissions backlog I have to get through plus all the other personal projects backed up I wanna do and all the porm I've neglected organizing more and more lately D8*
Giftart me pweeeeeaze X3 mostly by using my models I made in some animations X3 thats the whole reason I make and release them after all so it'd be nice to see yknow? X3
Giftart me pweeeeeaze X3 mostly by using my models I made in some animations X3 thats the whole reason I make and release them after all so it'd be nice to see yknow? X3
The Summer 2023 Stress Vent
Posted 2 years agoCause I need to.
- Recent Friend Coush-Surf:
So yeah. I have a good furry friend of mine who moved in temporarily cause previously he was living with his boyfriend at that bf's parents house, and then those parents decided they wanted their house to themselves and family, so they kicked him out. He had noplace else really to go and family's not supportive, so my place he went. He works full time making plenty of money so I figured it'd be no problem to charge him just a bit of rent and he''ll save up a lot of his money to then afford a place of his own in no time, probably less than a year even.
Thing is, we're 2 months in now. And this has NOT HAPPENED. They are making way more money than ME but all of it is going somewhere I know not where, because they haven't built ANY savings and in fact, have not gotten me the RENT I've let slide that first month and didn't charge for the first half month he was here. He's sending a lot of money to his boyfriend but none to me and none to savings and I have no idea what his plans are, cause I don't think he has any. And if/when I'd confront him about this he's gonna start crying and have revelations about how shit he's being and then I'm gonna be focusing on bringing him back up to normal emotionally and that's gonna drain both of us and we'll get no finance talk done at all. So fuck me there.
Well I know what a lot of you are thinking, my friend is taking me for a financial ride and manipulating me. Maybe, though Ive known them for years and they're not doing it intentionally, they're just in their mid 20's and too dumb at handling life/finance yet. Hanlon's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." I'm gonna confront him soo, I have a plan and I'm gonna demand he do it because otherwise I AM gonna start threatening to kick him out, at the very least to let him know this is fucking serious.
- Other friend's Stopgap Car:
So I've got another friend who Im helping out who DOES actively pay me back, and who I help out cause they are surviving on like razor-thin margins with no savings to fall back on when things happen like they get run into on the road and their car is totaled. So I'm helping him by helping him out getting a used car off craigslist. Thing is, he's across the state from me, and so us organizing things like getting to the DMV together to be joint owners and such is a frieking nightmare and today I lost an entire day and half a gas tank driving there cause when I made my plans to get there I hadn't factored in the extra HOUR DELAY that Beachgoing NJ Parkway traffic would have that wasn't there at midnight when I calculated the time on google maps, so I got there 30 minutes AFTER the DMV closed. So now I gotta go do this again MONDAY thus wasting ANOTHER days time and gasoline AND HIS which I feel guilty about, because I was too scatterbrained and mentally exhausted to remember BEACH TRAFFIC FNRGHRBRGHR!!!
- My Housemate(s) that DOES NOT DO ANY HOUSEKEEPING:
Yeah, pretty self explanatory there. When I first started renting out my spare bedroom to these two fur friends they were great about housekeeping, but that was years ago, and they dusted and wiped countertops and did their laundry and stuff :) It was good! NOW THEY DO NONE OF THAT. The sink is ALWAYS full of dishes, NONE of the house is dusted or wiped in any way, their laundry sits out in the living room and kitchen in baskets D8, Whenever they make food there is ALWAYS either the cookware or plates or SOMETHING they used to make the food left out on the counters, and sometimes they even FORGET THEY MADE OR ARE MAKING FOOD and I open the microwave to find a bowl of oats in there thats gone cold by now. I TRY to do stuff to make at least the kitchen and shit go easier like buying a second utensil basket for the washing machine so at least when they throw stuff in the sink now there is always a utensil basket to put the utensils in that then would just get dropped into the wash machine, BUT THEY DONT BOTHER. The sink's dishes and bowls STILL have loose utensils strewn about in them CONSTANTLY. Not to mention they only DO the dishwasher when THEY run out of bowls and stuff, not when the sink is CLEARLY full. Same goes for their treatment of anything about the house. "If I don't use it, it's not my problem." shit that I'm utterly sick of, especially cause they don't even stop there! the shower which they use daily and I only use like, weekly, develops scum and stains that they simply do not care to ever clean and I am the one who has to scrub it down. And that's just one example of a grievance. But enough of this shit cause this is all whiny bullshit that's less important than financial stuff.
OH YEAH, and also the LAWN. I don't have a big lawn, but I do not want to mow another lawn in my life cause my parents made me run a lawncutting service for a buncha neighbors with huge yards for super cheap along with doing OUR massive back/front yards all the way up til I moved out in my late 20's. So I have one housemate who is ok with doing it and I'm super thankful for that, but they also don't do a great job. I have to ask them to do it before they will, no matter how awful the lawn looks, and also they don't use the trimmer at all. The latter has lead to near bush sized things of grass along the edges of the house and shed and stuff, and in fact it led to a TREE this year growing in a very inconvenient place which we let get way out of hand, and I thought I dealt with by clipping all of it's branches last week, but nope! Ittttt's still growing and re-branching, YAYYYYY. So I gotta figure out how to do MORE yard work to kill this thing and deal with the edges of my lawn which are shit and also the grass growing up through the edges/creases of the concrete patio too D8.
- MY Money is getting tight right now:
Yyyyup. Car Insurance bill is in the thousands, and I'm slowly losing money in my bank account, which was hovering around 5k, and is now down to the 4-3k area before that bill, and I've very little idea what's going on cause my balance sheets all add up and I'm not getting stolen from anywhere but like, I guess the fact that the movie theater which is my main job has only been giving me 2 shifts a week the past month or two is starting to catch up, along with the fact that >
- I'm sorry people I owe commissions to, I have been moving like a GLACIER on them:
The reason being cause I'm like, mentally exhausted by all that above stuff, and my body and brain often go "OK, I have tomorrow OFF, i'm gonna down a big energy drink, focus up, and PLOW THOUGH THIS COMMISSION TIL ITS DONE." and then that morning my brain/body will go "Good morning! It's 2pm and you're still incredibly sleepy for some reason! No no, don't try to force yourself to wake up :D. Oh good morning again! Looks like you fell asleep in your chair at 3pm and now it's 10pm or midnight! Looks like you can't do that commission after all :)" And I'm like, AURGH. Either all my time is spent unwinding for my own mental health sake, sleeping for my body's health sake, or working, or stressing about all the above stuff, and so I can't get anything done, save for MAYBE some personal projects which I get excited by and wrapped up in for ADHD reasons, then feel GUILTY about when I finish them cause I SHOULD have spent that time and energy pushing one of my 7 commissions I have slotted to do to completion D8.
So thats my venting right there. I think I'm forgetting about SOMETHING, but right now that's whats been occupying my mind and I've been having no outlet for cause I can't confront the parties in question without them either getting pissed off irrationally or depressed and shut-down. I mean, there's little shit like how I hate that I do all this blender work and release models but nobody really ever uses them unless I either pay/trade/request folks to port them into SFM for me and it's always a paiiiin; or how I'm hosting furmeets here at my house and at arcades and stuff over the summer and like, NOBODY is going to them so I'm like, not socializing at all because thats where I do it. ( If you're in NJ btw https://www.fursvp.com/group/sharkyfieldtrips/ https://teamup.com/ks76562f69926979b9 )
But yeah, I just am soooo drained and tired of feeling like the only one trying to hold shit together all the fugging time. I needed to get that off my chest. If you wanna help me out by like, buying my models for whatever price ya wan, you can find em here :P https://irongut.gumroad.com It's the one successful way I've had for folks to support me cause my patreon never got anyone back when I launched it and I'm holding off on doing any sort of gofundme campaigns for until I TRULY NEED them, like if I total my car and insurance won't cover it, or some medical bill or something. :P
- Recent Friend Coush-Surf:
So yeah. I have a good furry friend of mine who moved in temporarily cause previously he was living with his boyfriend at that bf's parents house, and then those parents decided they wanted their house to themselves and family, so they kicked him out. He had noplace else really to go and family's not supportive, so my place he went. He works full time making plenty of money so I figured it'd be no problem to charge him just a bit of rent and he''ll save up a lot of his money to then afford a place of his own in no time, probably less than a year even.
Thing is, we're 2 months in now. And this has NOT HAPPENED. They are making way more money than ME but all of it is going somewhere I know not where, because they haven't built ANY savings and in fact, have not gotten me the RENT I've let slide that first month and didn't charge for the first half month he was here. He's sending a lot of money to his boyfriend but none to me and none to savings and I have no idea what his plans are, cause I don't think he has any. And if/when I'd confront him about this he's gonna start crying and have revelations about how shit he's being and then I'm gonna be focusing on bringing him back up to normal emotionally and that's gonna drain both of us and we'll get no finance talk done at all. So fuck me there.
Well I know what a lot of you are thinking, my friend is taking me for a financial ride and manipulating me. Maybe, though Ive known them for years and they're not doing it intentionally, they're just in their mid 20's and too dumb at handling life/finance yet. Hanlon's razor - "Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." I'm gonna confront him soo, I have a plan and I'm gonna demand he do it because otherwise I AM gonna start threatening to kick him out, at the very least to let him know this is fucking serious.
- Other friend's Stopgap Car:
So I've got another friend who Im helping out who DOES actively pay me back, and who I help out cause they are surviving on like razor-thin margins with no savings to fall back on when things happen like they get run into on the road and their car is totaled. So I'm helping him by helping him out getting a used car off craigslist. Thing is, he's across the state from me, and so us organizing things like getting to the DMV together to be joint owners and such is a frieking nightmare and today I lost an entire day and half a gas tank driving there cause when I made my plans to get there I hadn't factored in the extra HOUR DELAY that Beachgoing NJ Parkway traffic would have that wasn't there at midnight when I calculated the time on google maps, so I got there 30 minutes AFTER the DMV closed. So now I gotta go do this again MONDAY thus wasting ANOTHER days time and gasoline AND HIS which I feel guilty about, because I was too scatterbrained and mentally exhausted to remember BEACH TRAFFIC FNRGHRBRGHR!!!
- My Housemate(s) that DOES NOT DO ANY HOUSEKEEPING:
Yeah, pretty self explanatory there. When I first started renting out my spare bedroom to these two fur friends they were great about housekeeping, but that was years ago, and they dusted and wiped countertops and did their laundry and stuff :) It was good! NOW THEY DO NONE OF THAT. The sink is ALWAYS full of dishes, NONE of the house is dusted or wiped in any way, their laundry sits out in the living room and kitchen in baskets D8, Whenever they make food there is ALWAYS either the cookware or plates or SOMETHING they used to make the food left out on the counters, and sometimes they even FORGET THEY MADE OR ARE MAKING FOOD and I open the microwave to find a bowl of oats in there thats gone cold by now. I TRY to do stuff to make at least the kitchen and shit go easier like buying a second utensil basket for the washing machine so at least when they throw stuff in the sink now there is always a utensil basket to put the utensils in that then would just get dropped into the wash machine, BUT THEY DONT BOTHER. The sink's dishes and bowls STILL have loose utensils strewn about in them CONSTANTLY. Not to mention they only DO the dishwasher when THEY run out of bowls and stuff, not when the sink is CLEARLY full. Same goes for their treatment of anything about the house. "If I don't use it, it's not my problem." shit that I'm utterly sick of, especially cause they don't even stop there! the shower which they use daily and I only use like, weekly, develops scum and stains that they simply do not care to ever clean and I am the one who has to scrub it down. And that's just one example of a grievance. But enough of this shit cause this is all whiny bullshit that's less important than financial stuff.
OH YEAH, and also the LAWN. I don't have a big lawn, but I do not want to mow another lawn in my life cause my parents made me run a lawncutting service for a buncha neighbors with huge yards for super cheap along with doing OUR massive back/front yards all the way up til I moved out in my late 20's. So I have one housemate who is ok with doing it and I'm super thankful for that, but they also don't do a great job. I have to ask them to do it before they will, no matter how awful the lawn looks, and also they don't use the trimmer at all. The latter has lead to near bush sized things of grass along the edges of the house and shed and stuff, and in fact it led to a TREE this year growing in a very inconvenient place which we let get way out of hand, and I thought I dealt with by clipping all of it's branches last week, but nope! Ittttt's still growing and re-branching, YAYYYYY. So I gotta figure out how to do MORE yard work to kill this thing and deal with the edges of my lawn which are shit and also the grass growing up through the edges/creases of the concrete patio too D8.
- MY Money is getting tight right now:
Yyyyup. Car Insurance bill is in the thousands, and I'm slowly losing money in my bank account, which was hovering around 5k, and is now down to the 4-3k area before that bill, and I've very little idea what's going on cause my balance sheets all add up and I'm not getting stolen from anywhere but like, I guess the fact that the movie theater which is my main job has only been giving me 2 shifts a week the past month or two is starting to catch up, along with the fact that >
- I'm sorry people I owe commissions to, I have been moving like a GLACIER on them:
The reason being cause I'm like, mentally exhausted by all that above stuff, and my body and brain often go "OK, I have tomorrow OFF, i'm gonna down a big energy drink, focus up, and PLOW THOUGH THIS COMMISSION TIL ITS DONE." and then that morning my brain/body will go "Good morning! It's 2pm and you're still incredibly sleepy for some reason! No no, don't try to force yourself to wake up :D. Oh good morning again! Looks like you fell asleep in your chair at 3pm and now it's 10pm or midnight! Looks like you can't do that commission after all :)" And I'm like, AURGH. Either all my time is spent unwinding for my own mental health sake, sleeping for my body's health sake, or working, or stressing about all the above stuff, and so I can't get anything done, save for MAYBE some personal projects which I get excited by and wrapped up in for ADHD reasons, then feel GUILTY about when I finish them cause I SHOULD have spent that time and energy pushing one of my 7 commissions I have slotted to do to completion D8.
So thats my venting right there. I think I'm forgetting about SOMETHING, but right now that's whats been occupying my mind and I've been having no outlet for cause I can't confront the parties in question without them either getting pissed off irrationally or depressed and shut-down. I mean, there's little shit like how I hate that I do all this blender work and release models but nobody really ever uses them unless I either pay/trade/request folks to port them into SFM for me and it's always a paiiiin; or how I'm hosting furmeets here at my house and at arcades and stuff over the summer and like, NOBODY is going to them so I'm like, not socializing at all because thats where I do it. ( If you're in NJ btw https://www.fursvp.com/group/sharkyfieldtrips/ https://teamup.com/ks76562f69926979b9 )
But yeah, I just am soooo drained and tired of feeling like the only one trying to hold shit together all the fugging time. I needed to get that off my chest. If you wanna help me out by like, buying my models for whatever price ya wan, you can find em here :P https://irongut.gumroad.com It's the one successful way I've had for folks to support me cause my patreon never got anyone back when I launched it and I'm holding off on doing any sort of gofundme campaigns for until I TRULY NEED them, like if I total my car and insurance won't cover it, or some medical bill or something. :P
Fat February journal boost!
Posted 3 years agohttps://www.furaffinity.net/view/50415020/#dnr
Somebody lookin to doodle lossa fatties! I'm gettin in on that I hopes :P
Somebody lookin to doodle lossa fatties! I'm gettin in on that I hopes :P
Roobin Sketch Raffley
Posted 3 years agoSorry bout the blip
Posted 3 years agoYeahhh last week I kept meaning to upload something but I had a damn busy few weeks leading up to last week and so I was wiped out and just took like, four potato days in a row XD Sat and did nothing but slepp and recover :P Thas ok though! Cause I've got a LOT of great stuff to upload so Imma make up for it with a DOUBLE Model release TODAY :) Both of which I am super happy with. and then NEXT week is gonna be a big comic upload ;) so watch for it! Thanks guys ^^ and keep the comments coming and show me the stuff you do with my models I put up cause I wanna see all of it! (I WANNA SEE ANIMATIONS AND PICS WITH MY GUYSSSSS X3)
Posted using PostyBirb
Posted using PostyBirb
Off Schedule
Posted 4 years agoHey guys, sorry for missing Mondays upload this week and a few 3D Thursdays X3 I have been really cold with the weather and coming off of covid of course sucks. Those 2 things have made my sleep schedule slip back to "Go to sleep at noon, wake up at 9pm" despite me trying not to :P blargh. Anyways, I'll fix that up sometime so I won't miss my posting time on Monday by sleeping through it lol.
I'm also starting to run thin on 3D material for Thursday so that's gonna become a bonus thing for now, not an every week thing (unless I start posting Vrchat avatars I've completed up again, which I may do).
Posted using PostyBirb
I'm also starting to run thin on 3D material for Thursday so that's gonna become a bonus thing for now, not an every week thing (unless I start posting Vrchat avatars I've completed up again, which I may do).
Posted using PostyBirb
THREE DEE THINGS GALORE!
Posted 4 years agoI'm doing 3D THURSDAY AGAIN! YAYYYY!!! Why though? Wellll because once again I finally have a glut of things to post, because of a very specific reason, As many of you are aware, I took the opportunity during Covid unemployment period to learn myself some 3D modeling and avatar making in Blender and Unity. Now, I'd always wanted to be able to translate that into animation, but there were some problems. Mainly, I never tried to learn to animate in Blender cause of the complexity of it, and while Unity was FANTASTIC for animating in, it still was tedious posing limbs and stuff one by oooone, not to mention that the only way to get an animation rendered in unity I knew of was to just screen-record the preview window D8. Wellllllll. On July 5th I found two things that completely changed what I can and will be doing forever :D Firstly! I found an Inverse Kinematics plugin for Unity! Something that, as easily as making a dynamic bone, allowed me to pose limbs based on where I wanted the hands/feet to be, and could even animate those limb targets :D Oooooohhhh that was MOMENTUS. I could make a sexy animation literally just by setting the limb targets then moving the hips back and forth and BOOM! DONE! AMAZING! And then I went and thought, "There MUST be a better way to render animations to a file in Unity, there just HAS to be. And within about twenty minutes of research, I had downloaded the Unity Recorder plugin package, and output my first GIF. and OHHHH MYYYY GAWDDDDD. I AM NOW AN ACTUAL NO BS ANIMATOR <8D WHAT?!?!?! YES!!!! And immediately I was obsessed with making animations the rest of the week and as of writing this on the 10th, haven't stopped :3 Send halp, I am making FAR too many 100% original animated GIF's and even longer sexy videos now using Unity to animate with and AAAAAAA!!!!
And to answer a coming question, Yes, I am PLANNING to open commissions for simple animations :) once I clear my already existing 3D Model/Avatar que. Wait what? He's got a commissions que, for AVATARS?! Yep! Finally announcing THAT here as well XD My plan had always been to announce and make a commissions sheet for them once I'd finished my current que which filled up ENTIRELY from word of mouth and from folks I know an interact with on VRchat. It's taken a LONG while and I figure, you know what, I might as well announce it now cause every time I think I'm nearing done with the que, more folks find out and get added to it soooo yknow what, I might as well make it public knowledge now :P Expect a commissions sheet for models and animations to pop up sometime in the future (probably before the year is over), though don't expect me to work quickly through my que and such. I mean, this leads into the next thing.
Which is that I am at a complete crossroads right now and am super uncertain about the future of my art and things. Mostly from a few factors:
- I am currently still keeping myself from going back to work work and collecting unemployment so I can focus on art and things I need to get done. But that's gotta end SOMETIME soon, especially if I wanna keep my good stadium job, which I really REALLY do D8
- I'm already kinda working slowwwly with my 3D Avatar commissions, a lot slower than I would like, and I'm super scared of how busy I'd get after I open up publicly for them, cause my que as of writing is at 6 full avatars to make, and I'm afraid of it ballooning to like 20 out of nowhere when I do open X3 Which would be AWESOME, but also scary as all living hell.
- Similarly, now that I'm actually doing 3D animations myself, I realize there is a TON of potential there to open up commissions, ESPECIALLY as doing them in unity and with my Blender knowledge means I can pretty much use ANYTHING to animate with. I have tried to commission lots of 3D animators who have been like "Oh no, I can't use this model! I need it formatted this way and converted this way and rigged that way and blah blah blaaaaawwrrrghhhhh". And because of the way I've figured out how to animate, I'll be able to accept basically anything and not have to do that to anyone, which would make me again, HELLA full on que space D8 and again, Oh dear god it'd be awesome, but also holy crap the feeling of a dozen people waiting on their animations makes me breathless with fear/stress just thinking about it!
- And to compound the previous two bullet points, I would LOVE to do lots of 3D animations and commissions, eeeeexcept I ALSO want to continue being a 2D artist, because there's a whole lot of flexibility and creativity you can put into comics and pics than you can into 3D, and I have a vast number of commissions to color still and don't wanna have to resort to relying ONLY on using May as my month dedicated to coloring 2D art for the entire YEAR yknow?
- So I'm sitting here, staring at this possible MOUNTAIN of potential, which is INCREDIBLE, but also Right now I have the time and energy to do it thanks to Unemployment benefits of Covid, but once those are done, what then??? D8
So I dunno where I'm going with this whole journal, but it's something I DESPERATELY NEEDED to get off my mind and out to you folks, because the stress and worry of what MIGHT be is eating into my ACTUAL working desire and drive and that's a bad thing X3 so here's my brain dump! anndddddd, please tell me that if I did open up for Avatar Commissions publicly you guys wouldn't flood me or resent me or cancel your spot in line if it takes me like multiple months to get to you X3 Similarly if I open for 3D animations on top of that :P
Posted using PostyBirb
And to answer a coming question, Yes, I am PLANNING to open commissions for simple animations :) once I clear my already existing 3D Model/Avatar que. Wait what? He's got a commissions que, for AVATARS?! Yep! Finally announcing THAT here as well XD My plan had always been to announce and make a commissions sheet for them once I'd finished my current que which filled up ENTIRELY from word of mouth and from folks I know an interact with on VRchat. It's taken a LONG while and I figure, you know what, I might as well announce it now cause every time I think I'm nearing done with the que, more folks find out and get added to it soooo yknow what, I might as well make it public knowledge now :P Expect a commissions sheet for models and animations to pop up sometime in the future (probably before the year is over), though don't expect me to work quickly through my que and such. I mean, this leads into the next thing.
Which is that I am at a complete crossroads right now and am super uncertain about the future of my art and things. Mostly from a few factors:
- I am currently still keeping myself from going back to work work and collecting unemployment so I can focus on art and things I need to get done. But that's gotta end SOMETIME soon, especially if I wanna keep my good stadium job, which I really REALLY do D8
- I'm already kinda working slowwwly with my 3D Avatar commissions, a lot slower than I would like, and I'm super scared of how busy I'd get after I open up publicly for them, cause my que as of writing is at 6 full avatars to make, and I'm afraid of it ballooning to like 20 out of nowhere when I do open X3 Which would be AWESOME, but also scary as all living hell.
- Similarly, now that I'm actually doing 3D animations myself, I realize there is a TON of potential there to open up commissions, ESPECIALLY as doing them in unity and with my Blender knowledge means I can pretty much use ANYTHING to animate with. I have tried to commission lots of 3D animators who have been like "Oh no, I can't use this model! I need it formatted this way and converted this way and rigged that way and blah blah blaaaaawwrrrghhhhh". And because of the way I've figured out how to animate, I'll be able to accept basically anything and not have to do that to anyone, which would make me again, HELLA full on que space D8 and again, Oh dear god it'd be awesome, but also holy crap the feeling of a dozen people waiting on their animations makes me breathless with fear/stress just thinking about it!
- And to compound the previous two bullet points, I would LOVE to do lots of 3D animations and commissions, eeeeexcept I ALSO want to continue being a 2D artist, because there's a whole lot of flexibility and creativity you can put into comics and pics than you can into 3D, and I have a vast number of commissions to color still and don't wanna have to resort to relying ONLY on using May as my month dedicated to coloring 2D art for the entire YEAR yknow?
- So I'm sitting here, staring at this possible MOUNTAIN of potential, which is INCREDIBLE, but also Right now I have the time and energy to do it thanks to Unemployment benefits of Covid, but once those are done, what then??? D8
So I dunno where I'm going with this whole journal, but it's something I DESPERATELY NEEDED to get off my mind and out to you folks, because the stress and worry of what MIGHT be is eating into my ACTUAL working desire and drive and that's a bad thing X3 so here's my brain dump! anndddddd, please tell me that if I did open up for Avatar Commissions publicly you guys wouldn't flood me or resent me or cancel your spot in line if it takes me like multiple months to get to you X3 Similarly if I open for 3D animations on top of that :P
Posted using PostyBirb
Scrapril is OVER
Posted 4 years agoLong live Pic-a-day May! Which I've been doing in the background for the whole month while continuing to post a HUNDRED AND FORTY ONE scrap pics @_@ JESUS I can't believe how much art I'd gotten and let sit. Well, it sits here in public view now forever :) instead of sitting lost and unseen in my hard drive :P I always hate the waste of art when it sits unseen and never posted. It's like, my #1 peeve with artists is how they can make something fantastic and great, andddd not once care to save it or share it with the world 0_0 and so a piece dies, unloved and unappreciated but for one, or maybe a few sets of eyes. Never with me. I vow that everything I do is eventually gonna be out there for you to see, find, save, and see whenever you want forever. No piece goes unappreciated! No work is lost! Hell, it's part of my will that when I go, you guys are gonna get a journal post with links to my entire dropbox/google drive folders and everything.
Anywyas I went on a little bit of a tangent there XD bottom line is, all the scraps I wanted to post are now posted :) I don't think I'll be repeating this project next year, because I got it all done this year lol. And my posting que has been built back up so far as I've worked on coloring things this month and have gotten back into the 2D art groove actually :D so YAY! let's see if I can eep that momentum going after next week and build up even more finished fcolored things to post ^^ I'm quite happy with a bunch of them :3 so keep on watching watchers! Good stuff is comin back!
Anywyas I went on a little bit of a tangent there XD bottom line is, all the scraps I wanted to post are now posted :) I don't think I'll be repeating this project next year, because I got it all done this year lol. And my posting que has been built back up so far as I've worked on coloring things this month and have gotten back into the 2D art groove actually :D so YAY! let's see if I can eep that momentum going after next week and build up even more finished fcolored things to post ^^ I'm quite happy with a bunch of them :3 so keep on watching watchers! Good stuff is comin back!
Scrap April will bleed into May too 0_0
Posted 4 years agoMy god I had a ton of stuff to upload D8 Even uploading stuff at like 5-7 at a time every other day couldn't squeeze it all into one month @_@ (I haven't even started posting stuff from Conventions I've gotten and had sitting yet! Which btw, that's a theme coming up soon, is days where I upload scraps from conventions together in batches). That said it's nice to get these pics out and uploaded and forever off my shoulders with the "Aughhh you are so far behind on coloring and you're not doing ANY coloring at all with this new 3D obsession and commissions AUGHHH!!!"
Wait, did he say commissions? Yeah! I did :P Ive been getting commissions to do 3D avatars in Vrchat for folks :) like, a lot actually! I setup a discord server for keeping track of them all and posing my progress X3 If you want into the server you gotta actually commission me XD Right now I'm not posting a price sheet or ads or anything cause I already have a big que of them to do, but like, once that que gets shrunk down, I'm gonna officially open up for 3D avaatar commissions for VRchat :)
So yeah, thats 2 out of the 2 bits of things I wanted to inform you all about! Once scrapril is finished I'll post another journal and we'll be back to 1-2 FINISHED pieces a week again, which hopefully I'll have a nice big que full of them once again because of my dedication to color and finish a pic each day during May :)
Wait, did he say commissions? Yeah! I did :P Ive been getting commissions to do 3D avatars in Vrchat for folks :) like, a lot actually! I setup a discord server for keeping track of them all and posing my progress X3 If you want into the server you gotta actually commission me XD Right now I'm not posting a price sheet or ads or anything cause I already have a big que of them to do, but like, once that que gets shrunk down, I'm gonna officially open up for 3D avaatar commissions for VRchat :)
So yeah, thats 2 out of the 2 bits of things I wanted to inform you all about! Once scrapril is finished I'll post another journal and we'll be back to 1-2 FINISHED pieces a week again, which hopefully I'll have a nice big que full of them once again because of my dedication to color and finish a pic each day during May :)
My Uploaaaads!!! D8>
Posted 4 years agoOk so I think I have a plan :P The problem: Forucing so much on 3D modeling and taking commissions for such I haven't done any 2D coloring in literally 7 months. My "to upload" folder of finished pieces is almost empty.
Brian McMiller
IronGut1
·
The Key: I have a metric BUTTLOAD of pics that I I don't think I'll ever get around to coloring along with the bunch that I DO want to color, and Last years "Pic-a-day-May" project I did, where I resolve to finish 1 pic each day no excuses (no matter how small) worked FANTASTIC
Brian McMiller
IronGut1
·
The Solutions: My art posting is gonna shift a bit. Namely, I'm gonna do "Pic-a-day-May" again for myself to build up my finished que again. Before that though, I'm gonna do "ScrApril" Where I upload tons and tons of scrap pics through the month of April. Then back to normal
So to summarize. In April, I'm gonna do what I can to find and have finished pics to post, but those will be super limited, to like 1 finished coloring a week, and I'll simultaneously be uploading anywhere from 2-4 or even more scrap pics that I've gotten and am finally going "Yeah these I'll probably never get around to coloring or finishing @_@" and I'm calling it, "Scrapril" And then to build up my finished pics que again, I'll be doing "Pic-a-day-May" year two :) Which you'll see the results of throughout the year as I finish them :)
Brian McMiller
IronGut1
·
The Key: I have a metric BUTTLOAD of pics that I I don't think I'll ever get around to coloring along with the bunch that I DO want to color, and Last years "Pic-a-day-May" project I did, where I resolve to finish 1 pic each day no excuses (no matter how small) worked FANTASTIC
Brian McMiller
IronGut1
·
The Solutions: My art posting is gonna shift a bit. Namely, I'm gonna do "Pic-a-day-May" again for myself to build up my finished que again. Before that though, I'm gonna do "ScrApril" Where I upload tons and tons of scrap pics through the month of April. Then back to normal
So to summarize. In April, I'm gonna do what I can to find and have finished pics to post, but those will be super limited, to like 1 finished coloring a week, and I'll simultaneously be uploading anywhere from 2-4 or even more scrap pics that I've gotten and am finally going "Yeah these I'll probably never get around to coloring or finishing @_@" and I'm calling it, "Scrapril" And then to build up my finished pics que again, I'll be doing "Pic-a-day-May" year two :) Which you'll see the results of throughout the year as I finish them :)
FYI COmpooter Ded 9X
Posted 5 years agoYyyyup. So three days ago either there was a power surge or something happened and my power supply died, possibly violently, because I ordered my new one, it came in, and plugging it into my PC anddddddd still ded, only slightly less so than before, cause now the PC starts spinning it's cooling fans on the case for a split second when I hit the power button, I'm told to try resetting the CMOS by pulling out the battery on the motherboard and trying that, and so I plan to do that tonight.
I really hope that fixes it all, cause I've already spent the past three days now on my backup laptop in my living room which is much less powerful and thus I haven't been abl to do any Blender work or anything. Plus worrying and sulking about being 100 bucks in the hole already with a new power supply and possibly a few more hundred if this CMOS reset doesn't work has basically kept me from being in any way productive except for wasting time on minecraft building up a house to feel better and shit. I really hope my old power supply didn't take my motherboard with it @_@
I mean, all my data is safe and secure, projects and media and everything of all sorts, because I'm a smart boy and use External hard drives! :D Already plugged them into my laptop and woot, everything there no issues :) hooray for being a smart boy! But still, that's like the one bright side right now #_#
What does all this mean for you guys? Well 2 things, it means I missed this week's 3D thursday, sorry bout that guys X3 postybirb runs on my main computer and not the laptop so blargh XD and if I miss this week's upload it'll be for similar reason, and secondly to the folks waiting on commissions or wanting a commission It'll be delayed a little bit when I figure out this sorta stuff, so yeah X3
I really hope that fixes it all, cause I've already spent the past three days now on my backup laptop in my living room which is much less powerful and thus I haven't been abl to do any Blender work or anything. Plus worrying and sulking about being 100 bucks in the hole already with a new power supply and possibly a few more hundred if this CMOS reset doesn't work has basically kept me from being in any way productive except for wasting time on minecraft building up a house to feel better and shit. I really hope my old power supply didn't take my motherboard with it @_@
I mean, all my data is safe and secure, projects and media and everything of all sorts, because I'm a smart boy and use External hard drives! :D Already plugged them into my laptop and woot, everything there no issues :) hooray for being a smart boy! But still, that's like the one bright side right now #_#
What does all this mean for you guys? Well 2 things, it means I missed this week's 3D thursday, sorry bout that guys X3 postybirb runs on my main computer and not the laptop so blargh XD and if I miss this week's upload it'll be for similar reason, and secondly to the folks waiting on commissions or wanting a commission It'll be delayed a little bit when I figure out this sorta stuff, so yeah X3
Querstion for my watchers
Posted 5 years agoHey, so uhhhh. Ok, I wanna know something from you guys because of what Ive been focusing on lately and stuff X3
I have kept up my streak of posting at least 1 new colored art piece unbroken now for years, and in fact the past few years it's been at least 2 pieces a week. Lately though I have been focused exclusively, obsessed really, with 3D stuff X3 and my coloring has fallen completely away and I haven't colored a new pic in basically like half a year or longer XD. That said, I have still a hundred or so pics at least sitting waiting to be colored XD And I do intend to hopefully find time and such to get back to 2D coloring :P But for now I've basically been posting out of my built up que of stuff I'd finished coloring and had ready to post. Problem is, that's running out faaaast X3
So my questions are these. Because I WANT to keep that unbroken streak os posting each and every week :) I think it's one of the main key factors why I have such a following as I do :) So,
1: Do I reduce the number back down to 1 colored pic a week and push myself to get back into 2D art again? Is the fully finished pieces important to you guys? orrrr...
2: Do I say "it doesn't NEED to be fully colored/finished" and start adding in sketched and flat colored into the weekly upload instead? (I'm especially tempted to do this cause a TON of art in my "to color" folder is stuff I'm probably never ever gonna get around to for reasons of it being a massive job to clean it up and such for a pic that's not gonna end up being a 5 star feature of my gallery anyway)
and also 3: Do I start supplementing the 2d colored art with things like 3D posed pictures or at the very least gif's like I've been making for 3D Thursdays? Should I just merge my weekly post and 3D Thursdays and say "Yeah, this week you get 3D stuff, next week a 2d art, the week after it's more 3d"?
Thanks everyone who reads this for offering your opinion because I love posting for you guys, I wish I had more energy and time to reply to everyones comments on my art like I used to X3 being a homeowner and entering my mid 30's is sapping a lot of my energy though and time too XD Man we have so much time and free energy to spare when we're younger :P
I have kept up my streak of posting at least 1 new colored art piece unbroken now for years, and in fact the past few years it's been at least 2 pieces a week. Lately though I have been focused exclusively, obsessed really, with 3D stuff X3 and my coloring has fallen completely away and I haven't colored a new pic in basically like half a year or longer XD. That said, I have still a hundred or so pics at least sitting waiting to be colored XD And I do intend to hopefully find time and such to get back to 2D coloring :P But for now I've basically been posting out of my built up que of stuff I'd finished coloring and had ready to post. Problem is, that's running out faaaast X3
So my questions are these. Because I WANT to keep that unbroken streak os posting each and every week :) I think it's one of the main key factors why I have such a following as I do :) So,
1: Do I reduce the number back down to 1 colored pic a week and push myself to get back into 2D art again? Is the fully finished pieces important to you guys? orrrr...
2: Do I say "it doesn't NEED to be fully colored/finished" and start adding in sketched and flat colored into the weekly upload instead? (I'm especially tempted to do this cause a TON of art in my "to color" folder is stuff I'm probably never ever gonna get around to for reasons of it being a massive job to clean it up and such for a pic that's not gonna end up being a 5 star feature of my gallery anyway)
and also 3: Do I start supplementing the 2d colored art with things like 3D posed pictures or at the very least gif's like I've been making for 3D Thursdays? Should I just merge my weekly post and 3D Thursdays and say "Yeah, this week you get 3D stuff, next week a 2d art, the week after it's more 3d"?
Thanks everyone who reads this for offering your opinion because I love posting for you guys, I wish I had more energy and time to reply to everyones comments on my art like I used to X3 being a homeowner and entering my mid 30's is sapping a lot of my energy though and time too XD Man we have so much time and free energy to spare when we're younger :P
Wow time goes by
Posted 5 years agoMy god how the hell is it practically December already? and that means with December 10th as the birthday shark, yeah XD I gotta figure out what I'm gonna do for it this year, with Covid being a thing X3
VRCchat Mission Statement
Posted 5 years agoOk so I just want to announce and put this up here for all to find forever because the way VRchat handles avatars in terms of allowing them to spread is horseshit. ALL of the avatars I ever make/port for VRchat are public, and I always keep cloning turned on. So if you ever see me wearing something you want, don't hesitate to ask to clone it, or just clone without asking, I don't mind. Also everything I make and do in VRchat will be put up in my avatar collection world So check there often for things!
And now for the sake of findability, here's the list of VRchat Avatars I have ported completely, and ones I intend to do. I'm going to put up individual submissions for them during the next 3D Thursday posts so that they are featured and more findable that way via google search. Also if you wanna make suggestions for the list feel free, but I'll only end up doing them if I like them. UNLESSSS you want to commission me to port a 3D model into Vrchat! Then you can pm me because that's something I've done a few times now and am going to open up commissions for, but haven't figured out a price scheme yet :P
anyways, here's the avatars I have put into being, all available at https://vrchat.com/home/launch?worl.....5-dbe679f31b80
- AkkoArcade Anthro Lugia Woman -
- Daytona USE Hornet Car (with animations and sound effects) -
- Dingodile 2020 games model -
- Starfox Adventures Sharpclaw Disguise -
- ZP92 Yoshi Woman model -
- Rideable Intex Orca Pooltoy -
- BirdOfLight's Ocarine of Time Synth - (this is currently the ONLY free synth model available on VRchat, and I REALLLLY Hope that changes soon, especially if Blackjack makes his Synth model available for free in time because it's already been available for purchase for a while now AND has clearly sold a whole bunch and made him a LOT of money already at $40-50 a sale. This fact is especially annoyign considering how unbelievably prolific protogens are on Vrchat, yet Synths you almost have to organize a Synth specific meetup in order to see another one.)
Worlds I've made:
- The Heavy-R Fatfur Buffet. (Because I wanted a place like RubberDragonLabs, Furhub, and others specifically for fatfurs to go to often and congregate instead of shoehorning ourselves into other furry worlds XD) https://vrchat.com/home/launch?worl.....e-684c7ecaaf8f
- My personal Avatar Collection. (Made because, well, like I said before, Vrchat SUCKS at making avatars remotely findable if you have them public but not featured in a world somehow with REALLY good tagging. Also because 16 favorite slots is by FAR not enough. at posting time, I'm up to 300 avatars collected in my collection XD ) https://vrchat.com/home/launch?worl.....5-dbe679f31b80
Work in Progresses:
- Valoo port from windwaker (Work in Progress. Because Marshivolt is taking forever with HIS vrchat valoo port, it having been first teased all the way back in APRIL 2019. Dude, 18 months and still not finished? Why did you even put up teaser screenshots if you're gonna cockblock us so hard??? Can you tell I'm salty? XD )
- F-Zero Bio Rex (Have model, wip. Because Bio Rex is AWESOME :) )
- Clawhauser Zootopia (Have Model, wip. Because obvious reasons. folks will want him. )
- Decker from Go-Go-Hypergrind (have model, it's unrigged. Because it's an AWESOME character design :D )
- Prop Hunt Game world for VRchat! Because Prop hunt is SPECTACULAR, and I have done thinking and pre-planning already and have nailed down the majority of how I'm going to approach programming the thing. it's a BIGGG job though X3
Future Wants:
- Elliott the Dragon from pete's Dragon (OG VERSION THANK YOU) (because fatt dragon needs avatar ^^)
- Louis Gator from Princess and the Frog (Same reasons as above except gator not dragon XD I've considered reskinning a public model of Keel Spacegator I found but ehhhhhh, that's a bit iffyyyy about whether that'd end up pissing him off or not.)
- Glorie Hippo from Madagascar (because fat hippo yes <3 )
I WANT SO BAD I WILL LITERALLY PAY SOMEONE TO RIP THE MODEL FOR ME
- GULPEE REX from planet Coaster. Because OMG HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ADORABLE DINO!? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcvikJwWbKU https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm.....HDTL37EdchdAnw
The "I want to do these a little bit, or if I find a model and it's not gonna cause a lot of issues in the port" list:
- Alphys from undertale, especially without labcoat
- Team Flare Grunts from pokemon, because STYLE :)
The "I have heard that these avatars already EXIST in Vrchat but I can't find them! If ANYONE has them please pm me with the avatar ID!"
- American Dragon Jake Long
-
And now for the sake of findability, here's the list of VRchat Avatars I have ported completely, and ones I intend to do. I'm going to put up individual submissions for them during the next 3D Thursday posts so that they are featured and more findable that way via google search. Also if you wanna make suggestions for the list feel free, but I'll only end up doing them if I like them. UNLESSSS you want to commission me to port a 3D model into Vrchat! Then you can pm me because that's something I've done a few times now and am going to open up commissions for, but haven't figured out a price scheme yet :P
anyways, here's the avatars I have put into being, all available at https://vrchat.com/home/launch?worl.....5-dbe679f31b80
- AkkoArcade Anthro Lugia Woman -
- Daytona USE Hornet Car (with animations and sound effects) -
- Dingodile 2020 games model -
- Starfox Adventures Sharpclaw Disguise -
- ZP92 Yoshi Woman model -
- Rideable Intex Orca Pooltoy -
- BirdOfLight's Ocarine of Time Synth - (this is currently the ONLY free synth model available on VRchat, and I REALLLLY Hope that changes soon, especially if Blackjack makes his Synth model available for free in time because it's already been available for purchase for a while now AND has clearly sold a whole bunch and made him a LOT of money already at $40-50 a sale. This fact is especially annoyign considering how unbelievably prolific protogens are on Vrchat, yet Synths you almost have to organize a Synth specific meetup in order to see another one.)
Worlds I've made:
- The Heavy-R Fatfur Buffet. (Because I wanted a place like RubberDragonLabs, Furhub, and others specifically for fatfurs to go to often and congregate instead of shoehorning ourselves into other furry worlds XD) https://vrchat.com/home/launch?worl.....e-684c7ecaaf8f
- My personal Avatar Collection. (Made because, well, like I said before, Vrchat SUCKS at making avatars remotely findable if you have them public but not featured in a world somehow with REALLY good tagging. Also because 16 favorite slots is by FAR not enough. at posting time, I'm up to 300 avatars collected in my collection XD ) https://vrchat.com/home/launch?worl.....5-dbe679f31b80
Work in Progresses:
- Valoo port from windwaker (Work in Progress. Because Marshivolt is taking forever with HIS vrchat valoo port, it having been first teased all the way back in APRIL 2019. Dude, 18 months and still not finished? Why did you even put up teaser screenshots if you're gonna cockblock us so hard??? Can you tell I'm salty? XD )
- F-Zero Bio Rex (Have model, wip. Because Bio Rex is AWESOME :) )
- Clawhauser Zootopia (Have Model, wip. Because obvious reasons. folks will want him. )
- Decker from Go-Go-Hypergrind (have model, it's unrigged. Because it's an AWESOME character design :D )
- Prop Hunt Game world for VRchat! Because Prop hunt is SPECTACULAR, and I have done thinking and pre-planning already and have nailed down the majority of how I'm going to approach programming the thing. it's a BIGGG job though X3
Future Wants:
- Elliott the Dragon from pete's Dragon (OG VERSION THANK YOU) (because fatt dragon needs avatar ^^)
- Louis Gator from Princess and the Frog (Same reasons as above except gator not dragon XD I've considered reskinning a public model of Keel Spacegator I found but ehhhhhh, that's a bit iffyyyy about whether that'd end up pissing him off or not.)
- Glorie Hippo from Madagascar (because fat hippo yes <3 )
I WANT SO BAD I WILL LITERALLY PAY SOMEONE TO RIP THE MODEL FOR ME
- GULPEE REX from planet Coaster. Because OMG HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ADORABLE DINO!? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IcvikJwWbKU https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCm.....HDTL37EdchdAnw
The "I want to do these a little bit, or if I find a model and it's not gonna cause a lot of issues in the port" list:
- Alphys from undertale, especially without labcoat
- Team Flare Grunts from pokemon, because STYLE :)
The "I have heard that these avatars already EXIST in Vrchat but I can't find them! If ANYONE has them please pm me with the avatar ID!"
- American Dragon Jake Long
-
Posting Schedule ahoy!
Posted 5 years agoWelp! Time to start doing the idea I came up with after that last question I asked in my journal :)
To go along with the usual 2-4 normal uploads on Monday/the weekend, now uploading into my scraps will be...
3D THURSDAYS!
So into my scraps I'm going to upload, similarly to the normal uploads, 2-4 screenshots/posed renders/animated gifs of the 3D models I'd commissioned and worked on and stuff now that I've ported them all into Vrchat and learned to do stuff in 3D with them as well. There's a TON of stuff already rendered to post, and more to come, so expect 3D Thursdays to continue for a good long time on a pretty heavy schedule for a while :)
And yeah, I'm uploading them all to scraps in order to not clog up my normal gallery for folks, which I think is a good compromise ^^ the only question is, How much of it to upload and what to not upload, cause, namely thanks to
draco-rex including me in his recent growth drive and potentially fat drive coming up next, there's a lot of renders of Iron ^^ go check him out by the way! :D
So my posting schedule is as follows:
- Weekend/Monday:
-- 1 Lewd Pic if I have it
-- 1 sticker pic
-- up to 2 other pics
- Thursday:
-- 1-4 3D screenshot/pose renders/animated gifs
I attempt to rotate things so that no character or fetish goes too long without an upload, be it stuckage, vore, hyper, sex, etc.
To go along with the usual 2-4 normal uploads on Monday/the weekend, now uploading into my scraps will be...
3D THURSDAYS!
So into my scraps I'm going to upload, similarly to the normal uploads, 2-4 screenshots/posed renders/animated gifs of the 3D models I'd commissioned and worked on and stuff now that I've ported them all into Vrchat and learned to do stuff in 3D with them as well. There's a TON of stuff already rendered to post, and more to come, so expect 3D Thursdays to continue for a good long time on a pretty heavy schedule for a while :)
And yeah, I'm uploading them all to scraps in order to not clog up my normal gallery for folks, which I think is a good compromise ^^ the only question is, How much of it to upload and what to not upload, cause, namely thanks to
draco-rex including me in his recent growth drive and potentially fat drive coming up next, there's a lot of renders of Iron ^^ go check him out by the way! :DSo my posting schedule is as follows:
- Weekend/Monday:
-- 1 Lewd Pic if I have it
-- 1 sticker pic
-- up to 2 other pics
- Thursday:
-- 1-4 3D screenshot/pose renders/animated gifs
I attempt to rotate things so that no character or fetish goes too long without an upload, be it stuckage, vore, hyper, sex, etc.
Upload Question
Posted 5 years agoOk. So I've hit a point of resolve :P And a point of question.
So as you guys read with my previous journal I got sucked into doing a lot of 3D work and VRCHAT stuff. And the main issue I've found with that was that it didn't really produce all that much to show for it. At least, not during the MAKING phase, but I feel like I've got just about all my models at a place I'm happy with, save for a few modifications such as adding naughty bits :P, and wanna get to actually recording gifs and screenshots with them to put them to use.
The question is, what do you guys feel about my uploading that kinda stuff? like, 3D screenshots and gifs, bunches of them? I mean, cause 2 things. 1, I've always felt like thats an easy way to pump out way too much content that most folks just don't care about. I mean, the folks are here to see artwork, not just a reposed model, unless it's moving, especially if you're posting a billion screenshots and flooding because of it. 2, I already have got a lot of 2D art to post, and like my "2-4 pics, once a week on Monday" posting schedule I've setup, and yknow, if I wanna get through my "to upload" que that I now have thanks to "pic-a-day-May" and the number of commissions Ive gotten as well, without having some pics sit finished in there for a year or more, I gotta use those 3-4 slots for them XD. Also I don't wanna clog up my gallery as well with 3D stuff unless it's really good like animations at least.
I dunno, do you guys wanna see me post posed screenshots? Should I limit it to looping animations at a minimum? Should I make a secondary account and make that the flood world? Should I just not care about flooding my gallery so long as I'm still spacing out the stuff by a day or two? I dunno XD what would you guys like to see?
So as you guys read with my previous journal I got sucked into doing a lot of 3D work and VRCHAT stuff. And the main issue I've found with that was that it didn't really produce all that much to show for it. At least, not during the MAKING phase, but I feel like I've got just about all my models at a place I'm happy with, save for a few modifications such as adding naughty bits :P, and wanna get to actually recording gifs and screenshots with them to put them to use.
The question is, what do you guys feel about my uploading that kinda stuff? like, 3D screenshots and gifs, bunches of them? I mean, cause 2 things. 1, I've always felt like thats an easy way to pump out way too much content that most folks just don't care about. I mean, the folks are here to see artwork, not just a reposed model, unless it's moving, especially if you're posting a billion screenshots and flooding because of it. 2, I already have got a lot of 2D art to post, and like my "2-4 pics, once a week on Monday" posting schedule I've setup, and yknow, if I wanna get through my "to upload" que that I now have thanks to "pic-a-day-May" and the number of commissions Ive gotten as well, without having some pics sit finished in there for a year or more, I gotta use those 3-4 slots for them XD. Also I don't wanna clog up my gallery as well with 3D stuff unless it's really good like animations at least.
I dunno, do you guys wanna see me post posed screenshots? Should I limit it to looping animations at a minimum? Should I make a secondary account and make that the flood world? Should I just not care about flooding my gallery so long as I'm still spacing out the stuff by a day or two? I dunno XD what would you guys like to see?
Some Deep Ramblings Brought About by Frustration.
Posted 5 years agoSooooo, recently I've been messing around with learning 3D stuff. Blender and Unity, mostly so I could port the 3D models I'd gotten into other places like VRchat and stuff (which by the way, expect a post about that coming soon ;) ). I've gotten fairly good at porting things I think, and I'll be opening up and advertising commissions for that soon too. As I've gotten more and more accustomed with Blender though, I've been trying out different stuff, like learning about shapekeys in order to first make vVrchat models blink, now to experiment with stuff like growing/swelling animations. I've taught myself how to make additions to models, retexture them, and a few other things.
While it's all great and wonderful, I recently hit a damn snag while trying to edit a Yoshi model I found to make it into Kelly, one that has cost me three whole days worth of literally doing nothing but get up, fuss with the thing for hours upon hours, then realize I've stayed up way later than i should and destroyed my sleep schedule, and go nap. And the frustration hit a boiling point just now as I finally jumped back on telegram again, finding myself ranting.
A lot of my ranting ended up being about the damn price of things, like. Holy shit guys, I know 3D modeling is alot of work, I can SEE that by the virtue of having messed around and DONE it the past week/month or two. But everyones prices being the same as like a used car at $500 a pop?! WHAT. Finding someone for a price I can afford of the low hundred dollar range or less is frieking impossible! The four folks I found, two of them were closed for the foreseeable future, one had stopped 3D modeling entirely, and the 4th has a policy of not sharing the models unless a promise is made and kept to not use them for lewd things. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. But me being a greedy consumer was just the catylist for what the real frustrations have been the past week for me that I needed to rant about.
The main thing sourcing my frutstration right now is the fact that I've blown three solid days on this 3D stuff, both learning to do it and searching for folks who I can afford to pay to help me do what I want with it, and how little I'm probably going to get out of it! Coupled with the fact that I have other obligations for myself that I literally haven't TOUCHED because Blender and unity ate up literally every hour of the past few days.
In other words:
Sharky's list of things he hasn't done in half a week that he should be doing cause of fighting with 3D
- Spend time with people I love and like on telegram.
- 2D ART. (including a 50% complete BIG commission Jace paid me to do :) and a collab piece thats been sitting for far too long I havent even started yet. Thats all BEFORE getting to doing the mountain of personal art thats piled back up again)
- Games - Rocket league's weekly win obligations to take full advantage of the money I spent on the RocketPass promotion. And then the daily challenges on Pinball Deluxe. PLUS Pokemon go is having it's dragon event right now.
- WRITING - More of my big HTTYD crossover fic project which is only like 20% done at most atm. Then FINALLY get back to revising Greg's novel which has sat untouched for goddamn MONTHS after having been started YEARS ago.
it's like, i should be getting stuff done off that list, but instead here I am blasting away time on the 3D struggles so that what? i can be everyone in VrChat so everyone I see in it can go "Oh thats nice." for a second then move on, and the like, MAYBE a dozen people who will favorite my avatars and use them for themselves int her that I will never ever see. And for the few animations I can get with them because goddamn animations are fucking expensive too at like, 50 a pop for anything larger than a single hip thrust loop @_@ I'm a frieking HOMEOWNER with BILLS to pay and I work a MINIMUM WAGE JOB, and my seasonal job at Metlife Stadium which gives me an extra 3k each year isn't gonna happen this year cause of the damn virus!
( by the way if you wanna be any of my guys in Vrchat, here's the world to check out :) https://vrchat.com/home/world/wrld_.....a-df74ed3997a6 )
Everything on that list, it's alllllll STUCK up here *pokes my noggin* and I just WANT TO GET IT OUT. And I want people to SEE it and ENJOY it and LOVE it... uaghhh... *headdesks gently*
You know I recently finally decided after having a stroke last year to remember to write a will? And one of the big things I put in there and care that it's in there, are instructions for my WIP stuff to be uploaded online, all of it, and for my stuff to be declared copyright free, and a message to everyone thanking them for sharing in my imagination with me and that I hope my creations live on for a long long time.... I dunno why Im bringing this up but, ueaghh
yknow what my ideal version of heaven would be if there is such a thing? I mean aside from the ability to jump back down to live again whenever you get bored of heaven cause thats an inevitability with the nature of forever. Is that it'd be a place, not where I get what I want with no effort, but that I can CREATE what I want with zero effort. That I can just go "Hey! Here's my movie about Kelly and Steel and how they met IronGut and were saved and lived a great life" and *poof!* there it is :P And everyone else can see and enjoy it too :) I want to make my imagination external for the world to see because there's some amazing stuff in there
*rambling shark finally finishes rambling incoherently*
Sorry if any of this is coming off as incredibly selfish or insensitive to how mcuh an artist is charging for their work and stuff... I just needed to vent it all out cause holy shit I've spent the past three damn days doing NOTHING but 3D work and I have very little to show for it as opposed to things that I want to get done so I can share @_@
While it's all great and wonderful, I recently hit a damn snag while trying to edit a Yoshi model I found to make it into Kelly, one that has cost me three whole days worth of literally doing nothing but get up, fuss with the thing for hours upon hours, then realize I've stayed up way later than i should and destroyed my sleep schedule, and go nap. And the frustration hit a boiling point just now as I finally jumped back on telegram again, finding myself ranting.
A lot of my ranting ended up being about the damn price of things, like. Holy shit guys, I know 3D modeling is alot of work, I can SEE that by the virtue of having messed around and DONE it the past week/month or two. But everyones prices being the same as like a used car at $500 a pop?! WHAT. Finding someone for a price I can afford of the low hundred dollar range or less is frieking impossible! The four folks I found, two of them were closed for the foreseeable future, one had stopped 3D modeling entirely, and the 4th has a policy of not sharing the models unless a promise is made and kept to not use them for lewd things. FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF. But me being a greedy consumer was just the catylist for what the real frustrations have been the past week for me that I needed to rant about.
The main thing sourcing my frutstration right now is the fact that I've blown three solid days on this 3D stuff, both learning to do it and searching for folks who I can afford to pay to help me do what I want with it, and how little I'm probably going to get out of it! Coupled with the fact that I have other obligations for myself that I literally haven't TOUCHED because Blender and unity ate up literally every hour of the past few days.
In other words:
Sharky's list of things he hasn't done in half a week that he should be doing cause of fighting with 3D
- Spend time with people I love and like on telegram.
- 2D ART. (including a 50% complete BIG commission Jace paid me to do :) and a collab piece thats been sitting for far too long I havent even started yet. Thats all BEFORE getting to doing the mountain of personal art thats piled back up again)
- Games - Rocket league's weekly win obligations to take full advantage of the money I spent on the RocketPass promotion. And then the daily challenges on Pinball Deluxe. PLUS Pokemon go is having it's dragon event right now.
- WRITING - More of my big HTTYD crossover fic project which is only like 20% done at most atm. Then FINALLY get back to revising Greg's novel which has sat untouched for goddamn MONTHS after having been started YEARS ago.
it's like, i should be getting stuff done off that list, but instead here I am blasting away time on the 3D struggles so that what? i can be everyone in VrChat so everyone I see in it can go "Oh thats nice." for a second then move on, and the like, MAYBE a dozen people who will favorite my avatars and use them for themselves int her that I will never ever see. And for the few animations I can get with them because goddamn animations are fucking expensive too at like, 50 a pop for anything larger than a single hip thrust loop @_@ I'm a frieking HOMEOWNER with BILLS to pay and I work a MINIMUM WAGE JOB, and my seasonal job at Metlife Stadium which gives me an extra 3k each year isn't gonna happen this year cause of the damn virus!
( by the way if you wanna be any of my guys in Vrchat, here's the world to check out :) https://vrchat.com/home/world/wrld_.....a-df74ed3997a6 )
Everything on that list, it's alllllll STUCK up here *pokes my noggin* and I just WANT TO GET IT OUT. And I want people to SEE it and ENJOY it and LOVE it... uaghhh... *headdesks gently*
You know I recently finally decided after having a stroke last year to remember to write a will? And one of the big things I put in there and care that it's in there, are instructions for my WIP stuff to be uploaded online, all of it, and for my stuff to be declared copyright free, and a message to everyone thanking them for sharing in my imagination with me and that I hope my creations live on for a long long time.... I dunno why Im bringing this up but, ueaghh
yknow what my ideal version of heaven would be if there is such a thing? I mean aside from the ability to jump back down to live again whenever you get bored of heaven cause thats an inevitability with the nature of forever. Is that it'd be a place, not where I get what I want with no effort, but that I can CREATE what I want with zero effort. That I can just go "Hey! Here's my movie about Kelly and Steel and how they met IronGut and were saved and lived a great life" and *poof!* there it is :P And everyone else can see and enjoy it too :) I want to make my imagination external for the world to see because there's some amazing stuff in there
*rambling shark finally finishes rambling incoherently*
Sorry if any of this is coming off as incredibly selfish or insensitive to how mcuh an artist is charging for their work and stuff... I just needed to vent it all out cause holy shit I've spent the past three damn days doing NOTHING but 3D work and I have very little to show for it as opposed to things that I want to get done so I can share @_@
