Hello to anyone who might still follow me, after almost 20 years. I only today got access to this account once more, having lost access to the email I used for it long ago. It is something I could’ve done for a long time, and even though I have come back under a different sona and name for 5-6 years, I was not ready emotionally to open this can of worms. I would simply like to inform you on what has happened to me in the event that some of you may have still been wondering.

First of all, I am alive and well. I have a decent job, a loving girlfriend, and my love for the furry fandom is quite possibly at the highest it’s ever been.

That being said, 20 years is a long time, and much, much has changed since then, obviously. Many phases were had, including the phase where I thought I was no longer a nerd, a gamer, a furry artist, right around when I moved to a college dorm away from my parents house. I am thankful for all the experiences a higher eduction has provided me, but I also sincerely regret ambandonning this community along with many dear friends the way I did, by throwing it all under the bus. Many of these friends no longer with us that I will never get the chance to reconnect with. Many of whom I sadly do not even remember, which is very, very unfortunate and distressing to me.

Trying to piece this puzzle together of reconciling 18 year old me with present, 38 year old me, has been both liberating and extremely emotionnal, if not heart breaking. I left this fandom by way of tabula rasa, deleting things here and there, trying to essentially erase myself from our little furry corner of the internet.

For the longest time, I had burried these memories as deep as possible. Almost denying and believing that it was all an « embarassing dream ». I came close many times to also throw away or burn a box that contains every single piece of art I have drawn of Bourbon and my friends from back then. I am very, VERY thankful I convinced myself back then to keep them. I thought, you will regret this when you’re older. The thought alone makes me tear up instantly.

I also believed that I had become someone who was hated or despised by many. It may have been true to certain individuals. I mean, we all do and say pretty dumb shit sometimes, right? Especially around such a young age. Now, I am not trying to excuse things I did or said. If I have ever hurt or wronged you, I am truly sorry. If you feel the need, I invite you to discuss problems you may have had with me. All in all, what I have come to realize only in these past few weeks is that, some of you actually remembered me and were so, so welcoming upon learning that I am in fact Bourbon from all those years ago. I had never expected to feel such warm, comforting and forgiving response to revealing this information more openly.

It seems to me that at that time, I was not really in a good place mentally, and it may have tainted my interpretation of those memories over two decades. I was dealing with very severe depression and it sadly took me nearly a decade later to realize it could be treated. I had also never realized that I was quite severely ADHD, which I only got diagnosed with about 4 or 5 years ago.


Now, with all that being said, I am uncertain of what to do with this account. If I get the energy and set aside some time, I could post some old Bourbon art if there is an interest in some sort of prosperity or blast from the past.

I would also like to provide a way to reach out to me, my new fursona name and account on this website. I now go by the name Edge Borb, and, you guessed it, still a big round bird. There is an undeniable amount of Bourbon’s dna in Edge, almost like he is a grown up version of the same bird. If you wish to follow me, reach out to me, or throw a stone at me (or bird seeds preferably), you can do so here:

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/ed.....lordfannypack/

Thank you all, and I genuinely look forward to many more years in the furry fandom with you all. I have missed you all very much 💛

Bourbon Chocobo

aka Edge Borb

I really think all this sucks so much and I'm really done with this micro online comunity. I really don't want to be associated with an animal caracter anymore.

I am just an artist.

I'm deleting my account as soon as I find how.

I hope you all find what you should do in life, too. For now I'm just moving on. I have grown up, that's all.