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End of an Era, Maybe
Posted a week agoGood news - I managed to fix Skyrim and got several hours of happiness out of it.
Bad news - an update wrecked everything and now my characters are stuck T-posing no matter what I do.
The result is that my comfort game and the co-creator of tons of my previously-written work is apparently dead for good this time. I have tried reinstalling, deleting everything and starting from scratch and... nada. Everything I do seems to make it worse. I have put literally thousands of hours into Skyrim (somewhere over 8,000 at last count) and it's loss is surprisingly... okay... to me. As a result of not having had it to play, I have invested time into planting gardenias outside my son's window at the front of the house, cleaned out the overgrown garden spaces edging the back of the house and edged the front yard - almost a month after moving in. I found myself sitting on the porch yesterday in the ridiculously wonderful weather, just listening to the wind blowing through the trees for at least two hours.
Yes, it's painful to lose the mindspace that I had while playing the game. A lot of neat character concepts (including Rey'na) came from the time I spent playing. At some point down the road, I will absolutely go in and try to rebuild what once was, so I can enjoy that pleasant place once more. Will it work? Who knows? But I am okay with it being gone for the moment.
This house... The sense of ownership that comes with it. The beauty of it's surroundings and the amazing qualities of the house itself, now that it has been made into a "home" is... magical. I am okay with just sitting and enjoying. I am not fighting for that last scrap of dopamine as I look for something to keep me entertained.
To put it simply, I am at peace.
Thank you, Rusty and Mary Ann Herring, for having put so much effort into your own lives that you had everything you needed and more, so that your children could have enough to find their own places and peace. It is a gift that will keep on giving and I will forever be thankful.
Bad news - an update wrecked everything and now my characters are stuck T-posing no matter what I do.
The result is that my comfort game and the co-creator of tons of my previously-written work is apparently dead for good this time. I have tried reinstalling, deleting everything and starting from scratch and... nada. Everything I do seems to make it worse. I have put literally thousands of hours into Skyrim (somewhere over 8,000 at last count) and it's loss is surprisingly... okay... to me. As a result of not having had it to play, I have invested time into planting gardenias outside my son's window at the front of the house, cleaned out the overgrown garden spaces edging the back of the house and edged the front yard - almost a month after moving in. I found myself sitting on the porch yesterday in the ridiculously wonderful weather, just listening to the wind blowing through the trees for at least two hours.
Yes, it's painful to lose the mindspace that I had while playing the game. A lot of neat character concepts (including Rey'na) came from the time I spent playing. At some point down the road, I will absolutely go in and try to rebuild what once was, so I can enjoy that pleasant place once more. Will it work? Who knows? But I am okay with it being gone for the moment.
This house... The sense of ownership that comes with it. The beauty of it's surroundings and the amazing qualities of the house itself, now that it has been made into a "home" is... magical. I am okay with just sitting and enjoying. I am not fighting for that last scrap of dopamine as I look for something to keep me entertained.
To put it simply, I am at peace.
Thank you, Rusty and Mary Ann Herring, for having put so much effort into your own lives that you had everything you needed and more, so that your children could have enough to find their own places and peace. It is a gift that will keep on giving and I will forever be thankful.
Moving...
Posted a month agoMoved over the weekend. Place was a lot dirtier than I thought it was thanks to our cats (fur literally everywhere underfoot, hairballs under beds, etc.). Moving out of a second story apartment at my age is... a challenge. I think I came close to heat exhaustion and a heart attack or two, I was gasping so hard at points. We ended up leaving a desk in one of the rooms - too big to move out and we couldn't find the tool to take it apart (allen wrench) and, by the time we found it, we didn't have the strength to go up those steps again, so it's still there. Apartment complex will likely charge me for it, but I don't care at this point.
The house is... Well, damn. The people who lived here took amazing care of this house, upgraded it pretty much everywhere and then were forced to move when they had to adopt a pair of kids who were suddenly orphaned after a accident claimed their parents' lives. They sold it to us only a few dollars above what the market shows when I would have thought they could have easily sold it for more. I found this place the same day I made the offer and they accepted the offer less than 24 hours later. Everything about this home seems like destiny. It has everything I would have wanted and more and I am still getting used to the idea that it is mine.
We have a new couch set, living room stand for my big screens/monitors (I have two - one to work, one to play while I work... heheheh) inbound, arriving Wednesday. I'm still setting up and likely won't be fully unpacked until the end of the week, but we've made some serious headway already.
I am in my dream home without realizing just what an amazing miracle that is, and it is all because my father, whom I did not get along with terribly well during life (but who knew I loved him dearly), left me enough to make this lifelong dream actually happen. Now, it's up to me to care for this wonderful home for the rest of my days and then hand it off to my son (who is also on the mortgage/title, so it's already his - no probate for him!).
I will be back to writing once my body recovers from the 72-hour workout it has been through. For now, know that I read everything I can and I care for all of you!
The house is... Well, damn. The people who lived here took amazing care of this house, upgraded it pretty much everywhere and then were forced to move when they had to adopt a pair of kids who were suddenly orphaned after a accident claimed their parents' lives. They sold it to us only a few dollars above what the market shows when I would have thought they could have easily sold it for more. I found this place the same day I made the offer and they accepted the offer less than 24 hours later. Everything about this home seems like destiny. It has everything I would have wanted and more and I am still getting used to the idea that it is mine.
We have a new couch set, living room stand for my big screens/monitors (I have two - one to work, one to play while I work... heheheh) inbound, arriving Wednesday. I'm still setting up and likely won't be fully unpacked until the end of the week, but we've made some serious headway already.
I am in my dream home without realizing just what an amazing miracle that is, and it is all because my father, whom I did not get along with terribly well during life (but who knew I loved him dearly), left me enough to make this lifelong dream actually happen. Now, it's up to me to care for this wonderful home for the rest of my days and then hand it off to my son (who is also on the mortgage/title, so it's already his - no probate for him!).
I will be back to writing once my body recovers from the 72-hour workout it has been through. For now, know that I read everything I can and I care for all of you!
Megaplex Report
Posted 2 months agoThis Graymuzzle has sufficiently recovered from Megaplex to be able to make a report after having slept most of yesterday and the day before. I really need to get out and do more...
Gone are the days when Megaplex was a small convention that was compact and easy-going. The Hyatt Regency is enormous, with it's own convention center, and that is where the convention took place this year. The hotel itself was barely a thing compared to the space the convention took up, and most of that seemed to be centered on a truly colossal (for a furry convention) dealer's room. The dealer's den took up the center, with the rest of the convention being spread out on two levels along two sides of the space. That meant it was a massive open-air area (around 3-stories tall) with a HUGE walkway for the parade, but as someone with a damaged knee and back, it also meant going from place to place was an effort. This was made up for in the plentiful places to sit, however, so I have little to complain about in that regard. My fatigue was a creation of my own making, so boo on me for not being in better shape.
Yes, it was line con. I found out about 2/3rds of the way through the mile-long registration line (no, I'm not kidding) that I could have gone in through a shorter line for those with accessibility issues, but only because a con staffer nearly lost their marbles when they saw my son's Star Wars blasters and informed us that there is a strict "no guns allowed" rule after some moron started taking pictures of themselves "hunting" furries at last year's event. Naturally, one arsehole ruins it for everyone... As a result, we had to return to our hotel (we stayed across the street) to drop them off, but were advised we could return through the accessibility/VIP line when we did.
I will give it to the staff, however. They knew they were overwhelmed and they still had happy faces and friendly smiles for everyone. They did what they could and managed expectations as best they were able. It was a fun event, and the fursuits were incredible as always. From a pair of Helldivers with no fur to a Stormtrooper with furry ears and joints to some INSANELY large fullsuits with enlarged breasts and hips, the suits ran the gamut and we took pics wherever we could. There were some absolutely gorgeous outfits, incredibly cute suits and more than a few questionably-dressed individuals, but that is what you get when you go to a fur-con and I expected no less. It is an event where you can express yourself, regardless of who or what you consider yourself to be, and I enjoy that fact every time I go.
Strangely, a majority of the events had little to do with the actual furry fandom. I am also used to a large space being used for entertainment, but never saw a single large room being used for things like auctions or comedy shows, like at previous conventions. There was a charity group there, but they were jammed into the back of the dealer's den and hardly noticeable with everything else that was there. A large blocked-off section was set aside for adult-themed purchases, which is likely a good thing, but in combination with the "no-under-18-attendees" rule made it seem somewhat beside the point.
I was happy to see several of my FA friends, including Helix, Onic, Kiyo, Vixxy, Vrghr and more. There's never enough time, and with conflicting interests, it always seems more of a "hi-bye" kind of thing once the convention is underway, but most of us got to spend an evening together on Friday night, so we got our conversations at that time. Had I more stamina, I would have been able to stick around longer than I did, but I ended up running out of steam around mid-afternoon on Sunday and had to go home to recover before I ran myself into the ground.
My son went as an Imperial Navy Officer (Admiral) and was surprised at how often he was commented on, asked for pictures and generally welcomed. It was his first convention as an adult, having been to a few when he was younger when he dressed as a Halo soldier to complement my Master Chief. He was happy once he was there, but his anxiety nearly kept him from going, so I am glad I prodded him to at least show off the cosplay. While we were there, he ended up getting hands, feet and a tail to match his own OC/fursona and really enjoyed the experience, so here's hoping it wasn't his first and only convention.
Next year, I'm going to have to rent one of those scooters that Vixxy and Vrghr were running around in if I plan on sticking it out. The times when I could wear my Master Chief outfit and spend an entire weekend wandering around without dying from exhaustion or heat are apparently behind me.
To those I saw, it was an absolute pleasure. I love every minute with you guys and you remind me that I have friends I rarely see and to whom I apparently mean a lot to. It is sometimes hard to remember that, given that I work from home and most of my friends live in other states. To those I didn't get to really talk to, I hope we can make it up here or somewhere else. I really do enjoy listening to your stories and learning about your lives outside the convention or stories we share with one another.
Please take care of yourselves and I look forward to seeing you again next year!
Gone are the days when Megaplex was a small convention that was compact and easy-going. The Hyatt Regency is enormous, with it's own convention center, and that is where the convention took place this year. The hotel itself was barely a thing compared to the space the convention took up, and most of that seemed to be centered on a truly colossal (for a furry convention) dealer's room. The dealer's den took up the center, with the rest of the convention being spread out on two levels along two sides of the space. That meant it was a massive open-air area (around 3-stories tall) with a HUGE walkway for the parade, but as someone with a damaged knee and back, it also meant going from place to place was an effort. This was made up for in the plentiful places to sit, however, so I have little to complain about in that regard. My fatigue was a creation of my own making, so boo on me for not being in better shape.
Yes, it was line con. I found out about 2/3rds of the way through the mile-long registration line (no, I'm not kidding) that I could have gone in through a shorter line for those with accessibility issues, but only because a con staffer nearly lost their marbles when they saw my son's Star Wars blasters and informed us that there is a strict "no guns allowed" rule after some moron started taking pictures of themselves "hunting" furries at last year's event. Naturally, one arsehole ruins it for everyone... As a result, we had to return to our hotel (we stayed across the street) to drop them off, but were advised we could return through the accessibility/VIP line when we did.
I will give it to the staff, however. They knew they were overwhelmed and they still had happy faces and friendly smiles for everyone. They did what they could and managed expectations as best they were able. It was a fun event, and the fursuits were incredible as always. From a pair of Helldivers with no fur to a Stormtrooper with furry ears and joints to some INSANELY large fullsuits with enlarged breasts and hips, the suits ran the gamut and we took pics wherever we could. There were some absolutely gorgeous outfits, incredibly cute suits and more than a few questionably-dressed individuals, but that is what you get when you go to a fur-con and I expected no less. It is an event where you can express yourself, regardless of who or what you consider yourself to be, and I enjoy that fact every time I go.
Strangely, a majority of the events had little to do with the actual furry fandom. I am also used to a large space being used for entertainment, but never saw a single large room being used for things like auctions or comedy shows, like at previous conventions. There was a charity group there, but they were jammed into the back of the dealer's den and hardly noticeable with everything else that was there. A large blocked-off section was set aside for adult-themed purchases, which is likely a good thing, but in combination with the "no-under-18-attendees" rule made it seem somewhat beside the point.
I was happy to see several of my FA friends, including Helix, Onic, Kiyo, Vixxy, Vrghr and more. There's never enough time, and with conflicting interests, it always seems more of a "hi-bye" kind of thing once the convention is underway, but most of us got to spend an evening together on Friday night, so we got our conversations at that time. Had I more stamina, I would have been able to stick around longer than I did, but I ended up running out of steam around mid-afternoon on Sunday and had to go home to recover before I ran myself into the ground.
My son went as an Imperial Navy Officer (Admiral) and was surprised at how often he was commented on, asked for pictures and generally welcomed. It was his first convention as an adult, having been to a few when he was younger when he dressed as a Halo soldier to complement my Master Chief. He was happy once he was there, but his anxiety nearly kept him from going, so I am glad I prodded him to at least show off the cosplay. While we were there, he ended up getting hands, feet and a tail to match his own OC/fursona and really enjoyed the experience, so here's hoping it wasn't his first and only convention.
Next year, I'm going to have to rent one of those scooters that Vixxy and Vrghr were running around in if I plan on sticking it out. The times when I could wear my Master Chief outfit and spend an entire weekend wandering around without dying from exhaustion or heat are apparently behind me.
To those I saw, it was an absolute pleasure. I love every minute with you guys and you remind me that I have friends I rarely see and to whom I apparently mean a lot to. It is sometimes hard to remember that, given that I work from home and most of my friends live in other states. To those I didn't get to really talk to, I hope we can make it up here or somewhere else. I really do enjoy listening to your stories and learning about your lives outside the convention or stories we share with one another.
Please take care of yourselves and I look forward to seeing you again next year!
Megaplex Info
Posted 2 months agoBorrowing this from Vixxy, who borrowed it from ARCR-CRrc who borrowed it from AndreaJae who borrowed it from Walt46.
Convention attending: Megaplex
Days staying: Saturday - Sunday
Who are you rooming with? Staying off site at the Rosen Plaza.
Where will you be? Mainly at the convention center.
How is the best way to find you? I will either be wearing my "Free Dad Hugs" T-shirt or one of my Renamon T-shirts. I will also be carrying a 5' long stuffed Chillet (big blue ferret from Palworld).
What do you look like? Santa Claus. Seriously. Big belly, crazy white beard, seriously greying hair.
What is your gender? I'm a dude.
How old are you? 57 in actual years, 27 in maturity. I don' wanna grow up. I'm a Toys R' Us kid.
Can I talk to you? Well, yeah. That's kinda why I'm going! And, if you don't talk to me, I probably won't notice you, cause I'm sorta clueless that way. If you can't think of anything else, ask about the ridiculously large stuffed Chillet I'll have and we'll have something to talk about.
Can I hug and/or snuggle you? Hugs are welcome - The FREE DAD HUGS shirt says it all. I don't know anyone well enough to snuggle.
Are you nice? Apparently? I have at least five adopted sons (all in their 20s and 30s) who claimed me as their dad from our online interactions before I ever met them. I even helped one of them go to college.
If I see you, how should I get your attention? "Neko" or "Chief" sometimes work (though it's been a while since I was called by either). "Solace" will get my attention even better.
What can't we talk about? Politics. If you're curious about a topic, ask me. I'm not afraid to say no, but I'm certainly not trying to offend you if I do.
Can I get you something to drink? That depends entirely on what it is and what time of day. Water, anytime.
Can I take your picture? If you must? I'm bringing Chillet so people can take pics with it, cause Chillet's are cool (like fez's). ^_^
Attending any events? I heard something about Kiyo hosting a panel, so I will likely be there (once I find out what it is, when it is and where), BUT THE MAIN REASON I AM GOING IS THE SUNDAY MORNING GRAYMUZZLE BREAKFAST! - Sunday morning at 0700 in the diner! I will also likely be in the hall for the Saturday parade, which has always been a favorite of mine. If I am not in the halls (seriously - look for the big blue ferret I'll be carrying), I'll be in the dealer's room or sitting in a chair somewhere, people watching. If you see me doing so, feel free to approach. I'm probably bored.
Convention attending: Megaplex
Days staying: Saturday - Sunday
Who are you rooming with? Staying off site at the Rosen Plaza.
Where will you be? Mainly at the convention center.
How is the best way to find you? I will either be wearing my "Free Dad Hugs" T-shirt or one of my Renamon T-shirts. I will also be carrying a 5' long stuffed Chillet (big blue ferret from Palworld).
What do you look like? Santa Claus. Seriously. Big belly, crazy white beard, seriously greying hair.
What is your gender? I'm a dude.
How old are you? 57 in actual years, 27 in maturity. I don' wanna grow up. I'm a Toys R' Us kid.
Can I talk to you? Well, yeah. That's kinda why I'm going! And, if you don't talk to me, I probably won't notice you, cause I'm sorta clueless that way. If you can't think of anything else, ask about the ridiculously large stuffed Chillet I'll have and we'll have something to talk about.
Can I hug and/or snuggle you? Hugs are welcome - The FREE DAD HUGS shirt says it all. I don't know anyone well enough to snuggle.
Are you nice? Apparently? I have at least five adopted sons (all in their 20s and 30s) who claimed me as their dad from our online interactions before I ever met them. I even helped one of them go to college.
If I see you, how should I get your attention? "Neko" or "Chief" sometimes work (though it's been a while since I was called by either). "Solace" will get my attention even better.
What can't we talk about? Politics. If you're curious about a topic, ask me. I'm not afraid to say no, but I'm certainly not trying to offend you if I do.
Can I get you something to drink? That depends entirely on what it is and what time of day. Water, anytime.
Can I take your picture? If you must? I'm bringing Chillet so people can take pics with it, cause Chillet's are cool (like fez's). ^_^
Attending any events? I heard something about Kiyo hosting a panel, so I will likely be there (once I find out what it is, when it is and where), BUT THE MAIN REASON I AM GOING IS THE SUNDAY MORNING GRAYMUZZLE BREAKFAST! - Sunday morning at 0700 in the diner! I will also likely be in the hall for the Saturday parade, which has always been a favorite of mine. If I am not in the halls (seriously - look for the big blue ferret I'll be carrying), I'll be in the dealer's room or sitting in a chair somewhere, people watching. If you see me doing so, feel free to approach. I'm probably bored.
First Responders (or How a Response Keeps Me Writing)
Posted 3 months agoOthers are talking about this and it seems fair to comment on it:
We, as writers, thrive on response. I know the website says a bunch of folks read my works, but if they don't reply, how am I to know whether it was worth their time to do so?
Despite knowing that, I too have ceased posting as much because it doesn't feel like anyone is reading what I post. Sure, I'd like to think that, someday in some odd universe likely not this one, I will be recognized and lauded for the pap I write, but I stopped writing for that purpose a while ago. Now, I write because it's fun and because my son bugs me to "write the next chapter! I want to know what happens next!" This, even when the characters in the story are sometimes HIS and I am writing off his own words or input.
It isn't about how MANY people read what you wrote - it's about the response that says they are interested enough to say something about it. Even if it's just "I read this. I'd like to see more."
That little bit is all it takes to keep fingers hitting the keyboard (cause it sure isn't pen and paper anymore).
Addendum:
Simultaneously, if the same three people respond to a post, that means those same three people are actively paying attention to what is being written. That is three other people whose lives I have touched with my words, whether it was for good or ill. I appreciate those three people because they ARE taking time out of their lives to read and respond, even if it was, "neat idea." or the like. While that kind of response doesn't help, it also does not hinder me. I can't ask for an in-depth response to everything, because that is too time consuming (though a certain fellow with the word "helix" in his name has spent far more time and been far more helpful than anyone else ever has been. You know who you are and you are, by far, the one most influential on how my writing has progressed over the years. It is only fair to publicly thank you.
If you read my stuff, please just leave something in the comments. Even if it's a period or a comma - it lets me know it has been read; that someone cared enough to look into the universe inside my head. I can't guarantee I will do the same (because some people might wonder "WTF does a period mean?"), but if you want me to do the same, let me know. I know that little bit of engagement, as mentioned above, makes all the difference sometimes.
We, as writers, thrive on response. I know the website says a bunch of folks read my works, but if they don't reply, how am I to know whether it was worth their time to do so?
Despite knowing that, I too have ceased posting as much because it doesn't feel like anyone is reading what I post. Sure, I'd like to think that, someday in some odd universe likely not this one, I will be recognized and lauded for the pap I write, but I stopped writing for that purpose a while ago. Now, I write because it's fun and because my son bugs me to "write the next chapter! I want to know what happens next!" This, even when the characters in the story are sometimes HIS and I am writing off his own words or input.
It isn't about how MANY people read what you wrote - it's about the response that says they are interested enough to say something about it. Even if it's just "I read this. I'd like to see more."
That little bit is all it takes to keep fingers hitting the keyboard (cause it sure isn't pen and paper anymore).
Addendum:
Simultaneously, if the same three people respond to a post, that means those same three people are actively paying attention to what is being written. That is three other people whose lives I have touched with my words, whether it was for good or ill. I appreciate those three people because they ARE taking time out of their lives to read and respond, even if it was, "neat idea." or the like. While that kind of response doesn't help, it also does not hinder me. I can't ask for an in-depth response to everything, because that is too time consuming (though a certain fellow with the word "helix" in his name has spent far more time and been far more helpful than anyone else ever has been. You know who you are and you are, by far, the one most influential on how my writing has progressed over the years. It is only fair to publicly thank you.
If you read my stuff, please just leave something in the comments. Even if it's a period or a comma - it lets me know it has been read; that someone cared enough to look into the universe inside my head. I can't guarantee I will do the same (because some people might wonder "WTF does a period mean?"), but if you want me to do the same, let me know. I know that little bit of engagement, as mentioned above, makes all the difference sometimes.
Crushed
Posted 3 months agoNothing more to say, really.
Going to Megaplex 2025
Posted 6 months agoI will be attending Megaplex 2025 on Saturday and Sunday, meaning I will do my best to attend the Greymuzzle Meet! I will be staying at the Rosen Plaza not far away, so hope to spend the entire day chilling with everyone (it's actually quite dull on my own). If you'd like to meet up, please send me a PM and we'll make it happen!
2025 hasn't been a fun year so far (a lot has happened already), so here's hoping that this fun break will actually take place. ^_^
I haven't been writing much, but there is something in the works (finally). Not sure when I will post it, as I want to get most of it actually done before I start posting it and then disappoint anyone actually reading it.
I am, however, still here.
I hope you are doing well and may your days always be bright.
2025 hasn't been a fun year so far (a lot has happened already), so here's hoping that this fun break will actually take place. ^_^
I haven't been writing much, but there is something in the works (finally). Not sure when I will post it, as I want to get most of it actually done before I start posting it and then disappoint anyone actually reading it.
I am, however, still here.
I hope you are doing well and may your days always be bright.
A New Chapter?
Posted 11 months agoAs of December 4th (yesterday at the time of this writing), I have begun work on my second Master Degree, this time in Instructional Design and Technology. I have a Bachelor in Asian Pacific Studies (Japan focus) and an MBA focused on International Business, but unless I'm planning on returning to Japan (which I'm not, as my son likely would not handle that transition well), I am faced with looking elsewhere for careers and ideas on where to live. It has become obvious to me that I am not going to be able to afford a home at the current pace of the housing market in this country, so if I wish to retire in any way, shape or form, I am going to need to relocate overseas where the market is not quite so hot. I have looked at different countries and chosen a few as potentials, but realized that without something to make me stand out as useful to that particular country's needs, the likelihood of getting a work Visa are low. As such, I have chosen IDT as the direction I wish to head in, as this is a need regardless of where you live or how the country does things.
Along the way, I am rejuvenating my brain to think in terms of academic presentation, remembering how much I actually enjoy learning new things that I had no idea about before, and getting back into the habit of taking notes, surfing the internet for references, and then writing whatever needs to be written. If, somewhere along the way, this reignites the coals that my creative writing urge currently rests at and fans them back aflame, I will be happy to write something (anything). For now, it's a tentative step trying to get those coals to light with Boudicca.
For what it's worth, I hope you are doing well. I hope your creativity is driving you to new feats of storytelling, art, music or whatever it is that drives you. It's been a bit of a rough year for me, so I am hoping that taking forward steps, even amidst the hurricane gale blowing against me, is something positive.
Along the way, I am rejuvenating my brain to think in terms of academic presentation, remembering how much I actually enjoy learning new things that I had no idea about before, and getting back into the habit of taking notes, surfing the internet for references, and then writing whatever needs to be written. If, somewhere along the way, this reignites the coals that my creative writing urge currently rests at and fans them back aflame, I will be happy to write something (anything). For now, it's a tentative step trying to get those coals to light with Boudicca.
For what it's worth, I hope you are doing well. I hope your creativity is driving you to new feats of storytelling, art, music or whatever it is that drives you. It's been a bit of a rough year for me, so I am hoping that taking forward steps, even amidst the hurricane gale blowing against me, is something positive.
Spreading the Love
Posted a year agoOne of my all-time favorite artists,
Veliren_Rey is holding a Halloween YCH! Please go check it out!
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58511816/
Veliren_Rey is holding a Halloween YCH! Please go check it out!https://www.furaffinity.net/view/58511816/
First Blocked Contact
Posted a year agoIf you are going to read something I wrote and then call it "plagiarised AI-generated slop," I am going to assume that you have no idea what you are talking about or are trolling and block you. Congratulations on being the first.
Makes me wonder what is wrong with people, that they think such statements are appropriate when they have never interacted with me before - and now will never interact with me again.
Makes me wonder what is wrong with people, that they think such statements are appropriate when they have never interacted with me before - and now will never interact with me again.
Beauty amidst the Darkness
Posted a year agoEvery now and then, I come across something that makes me cry to remember that, despite all the bullshit and darkness that is taking place in our world, there are moments of brilliance, kindness and amazement.
This is one of those moments.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRp.....el=EmilioPiano
This is one of those moments.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRp.....el=EmilioPiano
Readers Are Awesome
Posted a year agoFirst review in 7 years to my novel and it is from someone with an MFA. She liked it!
Might just have to start writing longer-term stories again.
Might just have to start writing longer-term stories again.
Megaplex 2024
Posted a year agoI will be there. Guaranteed, this time.
I've just booked a room at the "Hyatt Place Orlando / I-Drive / Convention Center" a block or so down the street, as the main hotel is full. Cost for a room was $204/night+parking, so I've only booked Saturday night so as to be there for the parade and Thursday Prompt breakfast, but I'll be there! There are only 6 rooms available as of the time of booking (ie. today), so if you're interested, grab one now.
I've just booked a room at the "Hyatt Place Orlando / I-Drive / Convention Center" a block or so down the street, as the main hotel is full. Cost for a room was $204/night+parking, so I've only booked Saturday night so as to be there for the parade and Thursday Prompt breakfast, but I'll be there! There are only 6 rooms available as of the time of booking (ie. today), so if you're interested, grab one now.
Block Broken?
Posted 2 years agoOkay,
I've written the first thing this year, and the first thing since before Christmas, when an annoying upstairs neighbor forced me to move, the move itself took place, and then a draining personal experience two weeks later when I flew home to find out some things I rather wish I hadn't found out. 2024 hasn't been nice to me so far, so I've kept myself bottled up, trying to determine how to best deal with the issues. I've played a lot of Skyrim (my go-to happy place) and a bunch of Cyberpunk 2077 (as if the piece I just wrote doesn't confirm).
The move is done. The apartment is reassembled. The noises are gone and the new neighbors are awesome. Check.
My friend is back from his time in NYC going to an Ivy League school and I am feeding and housing him until "that big break" comes and/or he gets a new job (not exactly immediate, these days). Check.
My friend passed away. I wrote a long obituary for him, so if you're interested, go read "Farewell to a True Furry." Otherwise, life keeps going for the living.
My father is dying. Bad shit happened when I was growing up (that I am not responsible for) that I wish I hadn't learned about, but oh well. What happened, happened and the fact that it happened doesn't change who I am, so whatever. When he passes, I am likely to receive an inheritance that will allow me to finally get out of renting and actually buy a home, but is a new home worth the loss of my father (who, it turns out, wasn't the person I thought he was)?
In the interim, I have read a couple of books, listened to a few more on Audible (I highly suggest the Warhammer 40k series, The Horus Heresy if you are into dark science fiction) and basically spent my days working and my evenings playing games to get away from the troubles of this world.
I am NOT good at keeping contact with people. If you wish to speak with me, chances are you will have to reach out so that I have something to reply to, as I otherwise often have no idea what to say. Most people don't actually ask, "How are you doing?" with the actual wish to know the truth. It is a pleasantry, and I am not one to dump more than I already do here (and that's just the very faintest glossing of the depths of what has been going on). This does not mean that I am not actually interested in hearing from any of you - in fact, hearing about my friends keeps me going because, despite all the crap we are ALL dealing with, they're still there and that means that we are WINNING against the bullshit.
If you are reading this, know that I care about you, even if we barely know one another. If we have chatted, shared conversation or just shot notes back to one another in a story we both read, I have an interest in you and what's going on in your life. The fact that you're still writing makes you more powerful than you know - at least you're still writing!
I've written the first thing this year, and the first thing since before Christmas, when an annoying upstairs neighbor forced me to move, the move itself took place, and then a draining personal experience two weeks later when I flew home to find out some things I rather wish I hadn't found out. 2024 hasn't been nice to me so far, so I've kept myself bottled up, trying to determine how to best deal with the issues. I've played a lot of Skyrim (my go-to happy place) and a bunch of Cyberpunk 2077 (as if the piece I just wrote doesn't confirm).
The move is done. The apartment is reassembled. The noises are gone and the new neighbors are awesome. Check.
My friend is back from his time in NYC going to an Ivy League school and I am feeding and housing him until "that big break" comes and/or he gets a new job (not exactly immediate, these days). Check.
My friend passed away. I wrote a long obituary for him, so if you're interested, go read "Farewell to a True Furry." Otherwise, life keeps going for the living.
My father is dying. Bad shit happened when I was growing up (that I am not responsible for) that I wish I hadn't learned about, but oh well. What happened, happened and the fact that it happened doesn't change who I am, so whatever. When he passes, I am likely to receive an inheritance that will allow me to finally get out of renting and actually buy a home, but is a new home worth the loss of my father (who, it turns out, wasn't the person I thought he was)?
In the interim, I have read a couple of books, listened to a few more on Audible (I highly suggest the Warhammer 40k series, The Horus Heresy if you are into dark science fiction) and basically spent my days working and my evenings playing games to get away from the troubles of this world.
I am NOT good at keeping contact with people. If you wish to speak with me, chances are you will have to reach out so that I have something to reply to, as I otherwise often have no idea what to say. Most people don't actually ask, "How are you doing?" with the actual wish to know the truth. It is a pleasantry, and I am not one to dump more than I already do here (and that's just the very faintest glossing of the depths of what has been going on). This does not mean that I am not actually interested in hearing from any of you - in fact, hearing about my friends keeps me going because, despite all the crap we are ALL dealing with, they're still there and that means that we are WINNING against the bullshit.
If you are reading this, know that I care about you, even if we barely know one another. If we have chatted, shared conversation or just shot notes back to one another in a story we both read, I have an interest in you and what's going on in your life. The fact that you're still writing makes you more powerful than you know - at least you're still writing!
Farewell to a True Furry
Posted 2 years agoThis past Saturday, the first true furry I ever met passed away in his sleep and he will be missed terribly.
I met Roy Caputo in the 90's at the very first furry convention I ever went to. I had only just discovered that 'furries' were a thing, despite having had an interest in them since my early teens (I blame Disney's Robin Hood). Having come to the understanding that I was not alone in my interest in anthropomorphic characters, I went with my then-wife and was standing in line for some event or other (I don't remember which - probably the burlesque show, of which I had no expectation or real understanding of). I happened to be wearing a T-Shirt by the online comic series called "Sluggy Freelance" referencing their "Quatrix" sequence (Matrix meets Quake, I guess) and while I was conversing with my wife, I kept moving back and forth. At one point, this tall, lanky fellow with a big smile and a salt-and-pepper mustache and beard taps me on the shoulder and says, "Would you mind holding still for a moment? I'm trying to read your T-shirt!"
Thus started one of the strongest friendships I have had in my life. Roy was a teacher of computer programming for a variety of companies at the time, working part-time while living with his family. He had built a number of computers and had a small shop/shed in their backyard where he had a LAN setup containing 5 or 6 computer systems. An avid role-player, he began participating in my D&D 3.0 campaigns, GURPS Cyberpunk and various other RPGs, almost always choosing to play a furry wolf, which was his "true self" as he used to say. In my cyberpunk world, Roy's character was one of the scientists who helped figure out the fur distribution problem that had, up until that sequencing was complete, meant that biosculpts were thickly-furred and therefore suffered from severe heat issues that led them to wearing minimal-to-no clothing - and which therefore caused a massive cultural uproar as people weren't quite ready to see naked fur-folk walking down their cyberpunk streets. I wrote a series about his character and his (along with other characters') efforts to stay alive and even had a commission drawn of him and the rest of the gang.
I used to go to his place every Friday evening after work, driving an hour and a half through Los Angeles traffic to get to his place so we could play as much Unreal Tournament 2004 as we could handle before the motion sickness got to us, and then playing Empire Earth until the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes, I would drive home as the sun came up, the game lasted so long.
Roy's mother made phenomenal food for us and was always welcoming. We played at his house from time to time, telling wild stories as we played our games late into the night. Sometimes, we would spend the night there, only to return home the next morning with even more ideas and more fun games in our heads. For New Years 2000, we went to a magic show at Universal Studies in Los Angeles and rang in the New Year together. We were attached at the hip, you could say.
When I went to Japan in 2003, Roy happily gave me one of his laptops to use to communicate with everyone back home in the States while I lived over there teaching English. Thanks to him, I was able to stay in contact with everyone, making my own blog (called "Baka Gaijin" - which means "stupid foreigner" in Japanese). I posted pictures of our travels, told stories about the things we did while we were there... Upon returning from Japan later that year, I gave him back his laptop...
And then moved across the country to Florida, where I have lived ever since. I lost track of Roy in the interim. He wasn't a texter or a social media user, so keeping up with him was not something that came naturally, and as I am not much of a phone user, I rarely thought to call him. I heard of him through my friends back in Los Angeles that he was doing well and that they were still playing games and going about their lives until this last weekend, when I heard from a dear friend that he hadn't made it to their Star Trek game and that something was wrong.
Roy passed away in his sleep last Saturday, leaving a lot of friends who will miss him dearly. I count myself among that number as, even though I was too caught up in my own life to keep up with his, I still considered him to be one of my best friends. Learning of his death has affected me more than I can say. Not only for the loss of the chance to finally catch up with him, but because he was a true soulmate. He was the first true furry I ever met and we loved each other like brothers.
The world is lessened with his loss.
Rest in peace, dear wolf. Your true pack awaits in the wild fields, where you can run forever and be your true self at last.
I met Roy Caputo in the 90's at the very first furry convention I ever went to. I had only just discovered that 'furries' were a thing, despite having had an interest in them since my early teens (I blame Disney's Robin Hood). Having come to the understanding that I was not alone in my interest in anthropomorphic characters, I went with my then-wife and was standing in line for some event or other (I don't remember which - probably the burlesque show, of which I had no expectation or real understanding of). I happened to be wearing a T-Shirt by the online comic series called "Sluggy Freelance" referencing their "Quatrix" sequence (Matrix meets Quake, I guess) and while I was conversing with my wife, I kept moving back and forth. At one point, this tall, lanky fellow with a big smile and a salt-and-pepper mustache and beard taps me on the shoulder and says, "Would you mind holding still for a moment? I'm trying to read your T-shirt!"
Thus started one of the strongest friendships I have had in my life. Roy was a teacher of computer programming for a variety of companies at the time, working part-time while living with his family. He had built a number of computers and had a small shop/shed in their backyard where he had a LAN setup containing 5 or 6 computer systems. An avid role-player, he began participating in my D&D 3.0 campaigns, GURPS Cyberpunk and various other RPGs, almost always choosing to play a furry wolf, which was his "true self" as he used to say. In my cyberpunk world, Roy's character was one of the scientists who helped figure out the fur distribution problem that had, up until that sequencing was complete, meant that biosculpts were thickly-furred and therefore suffered from severe heat issues that led them to wearing minimal-to-no clothing - and which therefore caused a massive cultural uproar as people weren't quite ready to see naked fur-folk walking down their cyberpunk streets. I wrote a series about his character and his (along with other characters') efforts to stay alive and even had a commission drawn of him and the rest of the gang.
I used to go to his place every Friday evening after work, driving an hour and a half through Los Angeles traffic to get to his place so we could play as much Unreal Tournament 2004 as we could handle before the motion sickness got to us, and then playing Empire Earth until the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes, I would drive home as the sun came up, the game lasted so long.
Roy's mother made phenomenal food for us and was always welcoming. We played at his house from time to time, telling wild stories as we played our games late into the night. Sometimes, we would spend the night there, only to return home the next morning with even more ideas and more fun games in our heads. For New Years 2000, we went to a magic show at Universal Studies in Los Angeles and rang in the New Year together. We were attached at the hip, you could say.
When I went to Japan in 2003, Roy happily gave me one of his laptops to use to communicate with everyone back home in the States while I lived over there teaching English. Thanks to him, I was able to stay in contact with everyone, making my own blog (called "Baka Gaijin" - which means "stupid foreigner" in Japanese). I posted pictures of our travels, told stories about the things we did while we were there... Upon returning from Japan later that year, I gave him back his laptop...
And then moved across the country to Florida, where I have lived ever since. I lost track of Roy in the interim. He wasn't a texter or a social media user, so keeping up with him was not something that came naturally, and as I am not much of a phone user, I rarely thought to call him. I heard of him through my friends back in Los Angeles that he was doing well and that they were still playing games and going about their lives until this last weekend, when I heard from a dear friend that he hadn't made it to their Star Trek game and that something was wrong.
Roy passed away in his sleep last Saturday, leaving a lot of friends who will miss him dearly. I count myself among that number as, even though I was too caught up in my own life to keep up with his, I still considered him to be one of my best friends. Learning of his death has affected me more than I can say. Not only for the loss of the chance to finally catch up with him, but because he was a true soulmate. He was the first true furry I ever met and we loved each other like brothers.
The world is lessened with his loss.
Rest in peace, dear wolf. Your true pack awaits in the wild fields, where you can run forever and be your true self at last.
Move (Nearly) Complete
Posted 2 years agoIt took four days, but the move is done. Living room, bedroom and kitchen are set up, computer is up and running, cats have recovered from the initial shock... Some furniture got tossed (it was old and needed it), some furniture was replaced (but not all). Art is going back on the walls with some rethinking as to the general "look" of the place. New place is clean, has bare floors except in the bedrooms (so no more damage by overzealous claw-sharpening cats), but the kitchen is noticeably smaller and the cabinets in there are ridiculously tiny. We're saving money by moving, however, so it's worth it.
I have some 71" bookshelves coming in to house my collection of books, novels and games, so that will be a nice change. I can finally pull them out of the boxes they've languished in for years and put them on display... The dining room is larger and has a window *gasp* so it isn't just a dark space into which we throw things for interminable "storage." There are plans to make it my son's gaming area, general play room for tabletop games... There's even enough room behind the couch in the main room to get back to work on the life-sized plush figures idea I came up with a few years ago.
It was painful work, but it's done.
I have some 71" bookshelves coming in to house my collection of books, novels and games, so that will be a nice change. I can finally pull them out of the boxes they've languished in for years and put them on display... The dining room is larger and has a window *gasp* so it isn't just a dark space into which we throw things for interminable "storage." There are plans to make it my son's gaming area, general play room for tabletop games... There's even enough room behind the couch in the main room to get back to work on the life-sized plush figures idea I came up with a few years ago.
It was painful work, but it's done.
To Paraphrase Smashmouth
Posted 2 years ago"The hits keep coming and they don't stop coming..."
This is a vent post. Don't bother reading if you don't care. It won't bother me, but I had to say this SOMEWHERE...
Upstairs neighbors are so noisy and don't care about complaints that I am having to move to a different apartment in the same complex in order to maintain my sanity (upstairs this time, so I won't have this issue ever again) - fun part is, it's a $1,000 fee to do so mid-lease, so January rent will be double normal.
Saturday my back gave out completely and I only recovered yesterday afternoon, meaning I lost my entire weekend plus a day of work (luckily I have a Leave of Absence for work, but my boss is still concerned that I am taking care of my cohort of students properly when I miss working).
At some point, feeling well enough that I could get up, my son and I went to get something to eat because I couldn't stand up long enough to cook and, upon returning to the car, discovered that the transmission linkage cable had broken. Not an expensive part, but it's on back order from the manufacturer (up to 3 weeks). Bought the part from a website and got the WRONG PART and now have to return that. Had to buy it AGAIN from Ebay to get it here ASAP (I need my car)...
Oh yeah, and my parents have both been in the hospital this month, my father might not make it another year, so I purchased tickets to go visit him with my son before my son doesn't get a chance to see him while he's alive - all before the car broke down and the move was determined.
Money? What is that?!
Writing just isn't on the top of the priority list right now and, damn it, that pisses me off too.
This is a vent post. Don't bother reading if you don't care. It won't bother me, but I had to say this SOMEWHERE...
Upstairs neighbors are so noisy and don't care about complaints that I am having to move to a different apartment in the same complex in order to maintain my sanity (upstairs this time, so I won't have this issue ever again) - fun part is, it's a $1,000 fee to do so mid-lease, so January rent will be double normal.
Saturday my back gave out completely and I only recovered yesterday afternoon, meaning I lost my entire weekend plus a day of work (luckily I have a Leave of Absence for work, but my boss is still concerned that I am taking care of my cohort of students properly when I miss working).
At some point, feeling well enough that I could get up, my son and I went to get something to eat because I couldn't stand up long enough to cook and, upon returning to the car, discovered that the transmission linkage cable had broken. Not an expensive part, but it's on back order from the manufacturer (up to 3 weeks). Bought the part from a website and got the WRONG PART and now have to return that. Had to buy it AGAIN from Ebay to get it here ASAP (I need my car)...
Oh yeah, and my parents have both been in the hospital this month, my father might not make it another year, so I purchased tickets to go visit him with my son before my son doesn't get a chance to see him while he's alive - all before the car broke down and the move was determined.
Money? What is that?!
Writing just isn't on the top of the priority list right now and, damn it, that pisses me off too.
Stress
Posted 2 years agoSucks.
Life, the Universe and Everything
Posted 2 years agoThis is inspired by 
helixthefallen but I think it's very much a concern, so why not weigh in? His piece is a nod to the realities of the world and the current influx of furries to the fandom and the influences on them by social media, along with current trends here on FA...
My Two Cents:
I had a whole section on world politics and how shit things are, but everyone already knows that, so "F" that.
I very much believe that the creativity of people is amazing and of paramount importance. People around the world are enjoying the furry community and taking part even while the world seems to fall apart around us. There is something powerful in that being true!
I don't believe in AI creating things like art or scripts for TV or movies. Keep it out of the creative environment where you can - instead of being the aid everyone said it would be, it is destroying jobs and destroying the economy while those in positions of authority only get more power and more wealth off such decisions. The small guy gets forgotten or worse - ripped off. Hollywood just went through that horrific experience, and that was unpleasant all around. Greed showed it's face yet again...
I have funded artists since my 20's, when I had a little to spend and gave it away in exchange for images of things only I could see in the recesses of my mind. Now, art hangs on my walls from artists from around the world! All of them depict characters I have shared my life with and whom I love deeply - and for that, I love the artists responsible just as much as those characters. It is a pure joy to look up and see beloved characters looking back at me from the walls of my home and computer. I see them and I smile and I know that they are REAL and that they are THERE and that is important!
THEY and the artists are my MUSE. For them, and for all the amazing artists out there, I am eternally grateful. AI CANNOT and never will replace the spark of human creation without stealing from humanity itself. Do not pay for AI art. If you use it, use it for yourself, but remember that nothing it creates is truly original.
For those new to the fandom, welcome! Ask a gray muzzle (like myself) anything, and you are likely to be given as much heartfelt advice as they can give. None of us wants anything bad to happen to anyone. If you see something you disagree with it, PLEASE ignore it (unless it is illegal by it's very nature). You don't have to like it to enjoy the furry community! If you don't, ignore it. Just like those who don't like the things you like ignore the stuff you do. There's a lot of art styles I don't understand or dislike, but I don't comment on that and neither should anyone else. It's not about gate-keeping here. Everyone has a background from which they are approaching the universe of fur-covered animal-people. Where that is? I don't care. So long as you aren't hurting anyone, you do you!
Everyone wants to just have a little bit of fun while they live their boring lives in the "real world" outside our doors. Let's try to make this shared space a positive experience, shall we?
Enjoy the fandom. Take part in it however you can. Be yourself! That is ultimately what this is all about.
Lastly, be kind. There isn't enough of that in the world anymore and we could all use it.
helixthefallen but I think it's very much a concern, so why not weigh in? His piece is a nod to the realities of the world and the current influx of furries to the fandom and the influences on them by social media, along with current trends here on FA...My Two Cents:
I had a whole section on world politics and how shit things are, but everyone already knows that, so "F" that.
I very much believe that the creativity of people is amazing and of paramount importance. People around the world are enjoying the furry community and taking part even while the world seems to fall apart around us. There is something powerful in that being true!
I don't believe in AI creating things like art or scripts for TV or movies. Keep it out of the creative environment where you can - instead of being the aid everyone said it would be, it is destroying jobs and destroying the economy while those in positions of authority only get more power and more wealth off such decisions. The small guy gets forgotten or worse - ripped off. Hollywood just went through that horrific experience, and that was unpleasant all around. Greed showed it's face yet again...
I have funded artists since my 20's, when I had a little to spend and gave it away in exchange for images of things only I could see in the recesses of my mind. Now, art hangs on my walls from artists from around the world! All of them depict characters I have shared my life with and whom I love deeply - and for that, I love the artists responsible just as much as those characters. It is a pure joy to look up and see beloved characters looking back at me from the walls of my home and computer. I see them and I smile and I know that they are REAL and that they are THERE and that is important!
THEY and the artists are my MUSE. For them, and for all the amazing artists out there, I am eternally grateful. AI CANNOT and never will replace the spark of human creation without stealing from humanity itself. Do not pay for AI art. If you use it, use it for yourself, but remember that nothing it creates is truly original.
For those new to the fandom, welcome! Ask a gray muzzle (like myself) anything, and you are likely to be given as much heartfelt advice as they can give. None of us wants anything bad to happen to anyone. If you see something you disagree with it, PLEASE ignore it (unless it is illegal by it's very nature). You don't have to like it to enjoy the furry community! If you don't, ignore it. Just like those who don't like the things you like ignore the stuff you do. There's a lot of art styles I don't understand or dislike, but I don't comment on that and neither should anyone else. It's not about gate-keeping here. Everyone has a background from which they are approaching the universe of fur-covered animal-people. Where that is? I don't care. So long as you aren't hurting anyone, you do you!
Everyone wants to just have a little bit of fun while they live their boring lives in the "real world" outside our doors. Let's try to make this shared space a positive experience, shall we?
Enjoy the fandom. Take part in it however you can. Be yourself! That is ultimately what this is all about.
Lastly, be kind. There isn't enough of that in the world anymore and we could all use it.
Apologies, Dear Reader...
Posted 2 years agoI have been dreadfully lax in posting things lately, mostly due to the interference of Starfield, which has utterly consumed me. This, and continuing battles with my back injury from long, long ago have combined to keep me from setting fingers to keyboard for anything other than work. I promise, there is more to come, but please stand by as I struggle to overcome an addiction to a thoroughly entertaining game and health.
I SHALL RETURN!
I SHALL RETURN!
Autism Depicted in an Anime!
Posted 2 years agoI doubt many people identified it while watching the show, but My Love Story with Yamada-kun at Level 999 (currently available on Crunchyroll) is one of the first shows that I've seen to accurately depict autism in a main character. There is an in-story explanation for the character's behavior, but it is done in such a manner that, if you know what you are looking at, it is obvious what it is. There are multiple times throughout the series where Yamada (the titular character) expresses things like, "I don't understand" when it comes to emotions or how other people behave or react. This is EXACTLY what autism is.
The wonderful aspect of this anime is that it still manages to show the truly thoughtful human being Yamada really is and the story arc and his character development brought a tear to my eye in the story's climactic moment.
My son is high-functioning Aspbergers, which grazes the Autism spectrum, so depictions like this are particularly powerful to me.
The wonderful aspect of this anime is that it still manages to show the truly thoughtful human being Yamada really is and the story arc and his character development brought a tear to my eye in the story's climactic moment.
My son is high-functioning Aspbergers, which grazes the Autism spectrum, so depictions like this are particularly powerful to me.
"Slice of Life" Anime
Posted 2 years agoI watch a ton of anime. Those who know me know that I speak Japanese and so use anime as a means of keeping it reasonably active in my head despite not having had an actual opportunity to speak it in a very long time.
I tend to watch a lot of 'slice of life' anime - the kind that focus on the day-to-day happenings of people. Those people are usually high school or middle school students, mainly because once you finish high school in Japan, it's time to settle in to the work-hard-until-you-die ethic that is common there. There aren't a lot of "working people living their lives" anime unless their jobs are assassins or special agents or something far more interesting. Occasionally, you will get something like "Aggretsuko" - which is about blowing off steam after a hard workday, but otherwise, very few anime focus on adult life without some sort of supernatural or bizarre future being involved. You might find a hidden treasure like "Gintama" if you are lucky, but otherwise, adult life is not really something people focus on. As a result, slice of life anime tends to focus on school life, since this is when Japanese are still wondering what the future holds, thinking about relationships and learning how to function in groups or even make groups out of potential friends.
As a result, within these anime can be found any number of characters to identify with - the lonely type who is disconnected from everyone else, or the youthful character who still believes the world is magical (despite everyone else seeing it the way it is)... The student council president and his/her group of friends/associates, the plucky cheerful guy/girl who seems impossible to keep down, the athletic guy/girl who is trying desperately to connect with everyone who just sees them as a terrific athlete... And all of these characters have a hidden backstory that gets explored throughout the series as someone (the main character) manages to draw them into a web of interconnectedness that "saves" their school years and usually ends in a happy relationship.
I am not in my 20s anymore. I'm not lost in the colors and hype of anime at this point. I have studied Japanese and understand the nuances of what is being shown about Japan's sociological issues in these shows. They are an exploration of the issues inherent in Japanese culture, regardless of what manner they are expressed. For example, I can tell when the cutest anime has a dark element of reality at its heart most of the time and it is exploring something wrong with Japanese culture. I can point it out, watch it as the author/show explores the issue in an inherently Japanese manner. Anime, for me, is an escape into a world of "what-if's" and a continuing look at how Japanese culture is examining itself and pointing out it's own flaws for anyone who is looking or paying attention.
That being said, I cannot help but be drawn into these shows. The lonely guy who ends up with the popular girl simply by chance (Horimiya), or the outgoing fellow who helps a desperate girl trying to escape her reality (Chuunibyou and other Delusions), or sometimes even the fellow who has lost all connection with the world and needs some outside force to make them reconnect with the world around them (Ano Hana) all use the storyline to explore relationships and how love can blossom despite the awful circumstances that lie hidden in the characters' backgrounds. By the time the series are over, you feel like you have made a bunch of friends and desperately wish to keep in touch with them, even though the story is over and you will likely never see another episode or season. They explore dark situations with a strong, powerful emotional impact and leave you feeling satisfied with the experience.
And always, ALWAYS, I am left with something of a hollow feeling when I look at the way my own life has turned out. Yes, I have had some amazing experiences. Yes I have some amazing friends. Yes, I write and interact with you guys rather regularly (especially for me, someone who doesn't pick up a phone unless the shit has hit the fan and it's too late otherwise). I have a smart, loving son who is still coming to grips with the world after his own dark past, I have three wonderful "voids" (black cats) who think I'm the end-all, be-all and whom I think are the end-all, be-all in exchange. I have a few very close friends, a ton of folks I know and rarely chat with but care about, and a vast collection of folks I like to hear about and rarely ever interact with. I have a good job. I am comfortable and relatively happy.
And that is where the fallacy of anime or Facebook or any other social environment comes into play - You see other people living their lives, but you don't know their innermost details. You don't know their daily struggles - you only see what they share or show and that is not their typical life, unless they are incredibly forthcoming. You see the highlights of their lives. You hear about their successes. You might hear about their challenges - but you don't see it all.
I love anime. Especially slice-of-life. They give me an escape from what I think is 'normal' and show me a world where happiness is just a matter of the right connection being made. The silly stuff, the action stuff, and the crazier stories are fun to watch, but it is in the daily life that you get to imagine, "what if that was me?" and pretend for a moment how things could be better.
In the end, aren't we all just trying to find a little piece of happiness to hang onto? Whether that is the right person, the right job, the right situation in life, or the right friends - all of us want to feel accepted and loved. And, despite the cultural differences I can see thanks to my education and training and background, that is what these shows are all about.
I tend to watch a lot of 'slice of life' anime - the kind that focus on the day-to-day happenings of people. Those people are usually high school or middle school students, mainly because once you finish high school in Japan, it's time to settle in to the work-hard-until-you-die ethic that is common there. There aren't a lot of "working people living their lives" anime unless their jobs are assassins or special agents or something far more interesting. Occasionally, you will get something like "Aggretsuko" - which is about blowing off steam after a hard workday, but otherwise, very few anime focus on adult life without some sort of supernatural or bizarre future being involved. You might find a hidden treasure like "Gintama" if you are lucky, but otherwise, adult life is not really something people focus on. As a result, slice of life anime tends to focus on school life, since this is when Japanese are still wondering what the future holds, thinking about relationships and learning how to function in groups or even make groups out of potential friends.
As a result, within these anime can be found any number of characters to identify with - the lonely type who is disconnected from everyone else, or the youthful character who still believes the world is magical (despite everyone else seeing it the way it is)... The student council president and his/her group of friends/associates, the plucky cheerful guy/girl who seems impossible to keep down, the athletic guy/girl who is trying desperately to connect with everyone who just sees them as a terrific athlete... And all of these characters have a hidden backstory that gets explored throughout the series as someone (the main character) manages to draw them into a web of interconnectedness that "saves" their school years and usually ends in a happy relationship.
I am not in my 20s anymore. I'm not lost in the colors and hype of anime at this point. I have studied Japanese and understand the nuances of what is being shown about Japan's sociological issues in these shows. They are an exploration of the issues inherent in Japanese culture, regardless of what manner they are expressed. For example, I can tell when the cutest anime has a dark element of reality at its heart most of the time and it is exploring something wrong with Japanese culture. I can point it out, watch it as the author/show explores the issue in an inherently Japanese manner. Anime, for me, is an escape into a world of "what-if's" and a continuing look at how Japanese culture is examining itself and pointing out it's own flaws for anyone who is looking or paying attention.
That being said, I cannot help but be drawn into these shows. The lonely guy who ends up with the popular girl simply by chance (Horimiya), or the outgoing fellow who helps a desperate girl trying to escape her reality (Chuunibyou and other Delusions), or sometimes even the fellow who has lost all connection with the world and needs some outside force to make them reconnect with the world around them (Ano Hana) all use the storyline to explore relationships and how love can blossom despite the awful circumstances that lie hidden in the characters' backgrounds. By the time the series are over, you feel like you have made a bunch of friends and desperately wish to keep in touch with them, even though the story is over and you will likely never see another episode or season. They explore dark situations with a strong, powerful emotional impact and leave you feeling satisfied with the experience.
And always, ALWAYS, I am left with something of a hollow feeling when I look at the way my own life has turned out. Yes, I have had some amazing experiences. Yes I have some amazing friends. Yes, I write and interact with you guys rather regularly (especially for me, someone who doesn't pick up a phone unless the shit has hit the fan and it's too late otherwise). I have a smart, loving son who is still coming to grips with the world after his own dark past, I have three wonderful "voids" (black cats) who think I'm the end-all, be-all and whom I think are the end-all, be-all in exchange. I have a few very close friends, a ton of folks I know and rarely chat with but care about, and a vast collection of folks I like to hear about and rarely ever interact with. I have a good job. I am comfortable and relatively happy.
And that is where the fallacy of anime or Facebook or any other social environment comes into play - You see other people living their lives, but you don't know their innermost details. You don't know their daily struggles - you only see what they share or show and that is not their typical life, unless they are incredibly forthcoming. You see the highlights of their lives. You hear about their successes. You might hear about their challenges - but you don't see it all.
I love anime. Especially slice-of-life. They give me an escape from what I think is 'normal' and show me a world where happiness is just a matter of the right connection being made. The silly stuff, the action stuff, and the crazier stories are fun to watch, but it is in the daily life that you get to imagine, "what if that was me?" and pretend for a moment how things could be better.
In the end, aren't we all just trying to find a little piece of happiness to hang onto? Whether that is the right person, the right job, the right situation in life, or the right friends - all of us want to feel accepted and loved. And, despite the cultural differences I can see thanks to my education and training and background, that is what these shows are all about.
Non-Important Scenes and Their Importance
Posted 2 years agoAn interesting conversation between my amazing author friend 
Atomic_Alex and I made me think of something slightly odd... When an author writes a story, whether it is short- or long-form, they tend to fixate on the "important" scenes. The ones that build character, or show the development of the plot, or foreshadow something important to come later on. They rarely tend to spend any time on the small things that the characters might do when they are "off camera" as it were.
To come to the point: I was listening to some Trance music (my favorite genre) last weekend and ended up lying down on the couch, closing my eyes and imagining Bianca and Signet (and eventually Leona) at a club, just dancing their happy little fuzzy butts off. They were bopping and grooving, pointing at each other and mouthing the words to the songs before going back to just... dancing... in all the ways that happy people can and often do dance when there is nothing else to be concerned about.
I'm curious if any of you fellow authors out there have ever found yourselves daydreaming about your characters. Do they dance like no one else is watching, or do they just sort of shuffle about like the average club-goer? Outside of the situations we (as authors) are forced to put them into, do they have a sense of joie de vivre about them?
If you are an artist who draws the same character frequently, do you find yourself imagining them doing this or just going about their lives? Or do they only really "manifest" when you are making the art itself?
* edited to remove the "wall of text" this originally was *
Atomic_Alex and I made me think of something slightly odd... When an author writes a story, whether it is short- or long-form, they tend to fixate on the "important" scenes. The ones that build character, or show the development of the plot, or foreshadow something important to come later on. They rarely tend to spend any time on the small things that the characters might do when they are "off camera" as it were. To come to the point: I was listening to some Trance music (my favorite genre) last weekend and ended up lying down on the couch, closing my eyes and imagining Bianca and Signet (and eventually Leona) at a club, just dancing their happy little fuzzy butts off. They were bopping and grooving, pointing at each other and mouthing the words to the songs before going back to just... dancing... in all the ways that happy people can and often do dance when there is nothing else to be concerned about.
I'm curious if any of you fellow authors out there have ever found yourselves daydreaming about your characters. Do they dance like no one else is watching, or do they just sort of shuffle about like the average club-goer? Outside of the situations we (as authors) are forced to put them into, do they have a sense of joie de vivre about them?
If you are an artist who draws the same character frequently, do you find yourself imagining them doing this or just going about their lives? Or do they only really "manifest" when you are making the art itself?
* edited to remove the "wall of text" this originally was *
AI Exploration
Posted 2 years agoSo, I did a bit of experimentation with an AI generator and SOME of the art was amazing. Most was dreadful, some was "scratch your head" and the rest was interesting with some serious issues. Yeah, I posted a couple before being reminded that AI-generated art is not allowed on FA. Since I don't want to be banned for sharing such an experiment, I took them down as soon as someone reminded me (thank you, Good Samaritans/watchdogs). It was more a matter of, "huh, check this out" than any claim to having an artistic bone in my body. My skills lie in the written word.
I am not going to stop commissioning art from real people because of this. Look at my Gallery and all you will see is my writing and commissioned artwork done by amazing artists whom I cherish. THERE IS NO REPLACEMENT FOR HUMAN ARTISTS. THERE NEVER WILL BE. Especially with the advent of the SAG/AFTRA strike over writers in Hollywood being replaced by ChatGPT (a RIDICULOUS idea), and as a writer myself, I am WELL on the side of human artistic endeavor.
Some odd items I saw in the mix while playing about:
AI can't seem to do eyes/pupils properly. If you enter "Gold eyes" you get solid gold eyes...
AI can't handle tiger stripes very well. The eyes disappear as it tries to figure out where they belong.
Even with "no" prompts, AI still throws in the occasional extra limb, reversed hand, floating tail or badly malformed ear.
No matter HOW you prompt it, an AI still needs some sort of artist's original work to base itself off of, meaning that ANY AI-generated artwork is infringing on an artist's creativity and I find that unacceptable.
Regardless of how 'cool' or 'well done' or 'neat' an image was done, I cannot see myself ever wanting to display it on my walls. I share pictures of an artist's work when I hang them on the walls WITH THE ARTIST to let them know that they have affected/influenced another human being enough to display their work in their home. I could never feel impacted enough by some randomly-generated piece done by an AI to do the same, regardless of how well it might portray the character in question.
That is all.
* steps away from the mic *
I am not going to stop commissioning art from real people because of this. Look at my Gallery and all you will see is my writing and commissioned artwork done by amazing artists whom I cherish. THERE IS NO REPLACEMENT FOR HUMAN ARTISTS. THERE NEVER WILL BE. Especially with the advent of the SAG/AFTRA strike over writers in Hollywood being replaced by ChatGPT (a RIDICULOUS idea), and as a writer myself, I am WELL on the side of human artistic endeavor.
Some odd items I saw in the mix while playing about:
AI can't seem to do eyes/pupils properly. If you enter "Gold eyes" you get solid gold eyes...
AI can't handle tiger stripes very well. The eyes disappear as it tries to figure out where they belong.
Even with "no" prompts, AI still throws in the occasional extra limb, reversed hand, floating tail or badly malformed ear.
No matter HOW you prompt it, an AI still needs some sort of artist's original work to base itself off of, meaning that ANY AI-generated artwork is infringing on an artist's creativity and I find that unacceptable.
Regardless of how 'cool' or 'well done' or 'neat' an image was done, I cannot see myself ever wanting to display it on my walls. I share pictures of an artist's work when I hang them on the walls WITH THE ARTIST to let them know that they have affected/influenced another human being enough to display their work in their home. I could never feel impacted enough by some randomly-generated piece done by an AI to do the same, regardless of how well it might portray the character in question.
That is all.
* steps away from the mic *
Unexpected Down Time
Posted 2 years agoSo, for those curious about my sudden disappearance, as of last Friday, I came down with yet another kidney stone. I have been on pain medication and relaxants to help the damned thing pass ever since late last week and am only now beginning to to feel normal once more. I have had several since my twenties (one every two to three years, unfortunately), so this is somewhat soup du jour around here, but it interferes with everything from work to writing.
Thankfully, I think I have passed it (yay) and am back to my normally creative self.
If you're still reading Bianca's Story, let me know and give me feedback. It's at a critical point in the story and feedback is welcome!
Thankfully, I think I have passed it (yay) and am back to my normally creative self.
If you're still reading Bianca's Story, let me know and give me feedback. It's at a critical point in the story and feedback is welcome!
