To win something from

Follow the link for more details.

Good luck!

and I'll know if the cocksucker skips my house!

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/track.html

Anyways Seasons Greetings, Happy Holidays, Have a Cool Yule, Merry Christmas and all that other jazz.

Well here is something you don't see everyday. is doing a Christmas freebies challenge, but instead of art she going to be writing up stories. So if you've ever wanted to have your character immortalized in print now is your chance to do so. For more information see her journal here.

Well it's that time. another year, another year older. Next year I'm gonna start counting backwards. Yay Happy 43 to me!

http://www.a1savannahs.com/f5.htm

It would be so freaking cool to take one of those cuties on walk. Look momma she has a panther on a leash! OMG!

The purpose of this particular journal is for artist feedback on me as a commissioner. This can be positive or negative feedback, as long as you are honest. What I’m hoping to gain from this is to improve the way that I commission artists.

Was I an impatient asshole and rushed the work from the moment payment was received or a pleasure to work for?

Did I fail to pay? Only paid in part? Had to wait forever for payment? Paid up front in full?

Was there too much of a description to read or not enough?

Easy to communicate with or had a bad attitude? Respond to e-mails in a timely matter?

Would you allow me to commission you in the future? Am I blacklisted and on your “get the fuck away” list?

Below is a list of various artists that I’ve commissioned in the past year. The number next to their name indicates the amount of commissions received from them. If you are one of the artists listed below feel free to post a comment on your experience/s with me.


A_Blue_Deer 1

Alishka 1

Casandra 1

Clemikou 3

Dark Ice Wolf 1

Doffa 4+ (sorta)

Dossun 2

EvyCrystal 1

Falvie 3

Jocarra 1

Kishari 5

Machinari 3

Magolobo 1

Mataku_shinzu 1

Mickey_the_Retriever 1

Nameria 1

Peppermint_Kitten 3

Porin 2

Princess_Rei 2

Seskata 1

Shana 3

Sharkliver 2

Skidd 1

Syntharia_Desire 2

Wyla 2


Pending Commissions:

Yeah it’s been quite a span of time since these fingers of mine graced the keys of a keyboard and actually pounded out something that sounded like a story. I could go into detail as to why but I will not bore you with them.

So why are you here reading this?

That’s simple, I’m looking for ideas to help me get back into writing. So my questions to you are:

What types of stories engage you, the reader, to make you want to read more?

Are you more interested in a plot based story or a quick bang with cumsplosion at the end?

Is there a particular fetish that you haven’t seen enough written on that you would like to see more of?

If this generates enough interest and ideas then maybe I’ll turn out a few pages using a few of the listed suggestions.

OMG does that mean you are going to write a story for me with my characters?

NO! What it means is that IF I like your idea, and my muse isn’t being a total b!t*h, that I will endeavor to cover the suggested material using whatever characters pop into my head. (I don’t use other people’s characters without their express written consent and input on behaviors, mannerisms, etc.)

Ok so let the suggestions, comments, whatever ensue.

Well here's a little wish to everyone...

May you have a wonderful Holiday and a Happy New Year.

One Christmas wish was fulfilled and I feel that it was the most important of all. My daughter  whitetails got the wish that she wanted and it looks like my mother might actually see the New Year, but not much after that. Last night (Christmas Eve) she was coughing up blood. Not a good sign, it means that the cancer is beginning to take over and her time is limited.

Contest Update:
Have read through 2 of the 3 stories and hopefully will finish the other one before long.

Writers if you could please send me your paypal addresses via note it would be appreciated.

Well with the holidays at hand and my mother's health deteriorating I find myself even more stressed out than usual.

Why you ask?

Well it would appear that the cancer has already grown back and is now attacking her windpipe making it increasingly difficult for her to breathe. Regardless of the mountains of pills I crush and give to her through her G-Tube. She told me last night that she could tell the difference in the amount of air she was able to inhale with each breath. As a result she is resting more and trying to make the most of the last few weeks she has on this Earth.

Adding to the stress is the fact that not only do I have to help get her house cleaned up so I can move in with my daughters, but I have to clean and pack my own home. Progress seems to be an inching thing, which is pissing me off to no end.

If I don't respond to you or comment don't be surprised. I only get about 20 minutes on my computer 3-4 times a week. Argh!!!

But such is life and death I suppose. Later.

(For the purpose of this entry the term journal refers to you, the reader, but really it’s just me typing my life out on the computer instead of writing in a notebook)

Dear Journal,
This week has been the week from hell, and just when I thought that things couldn’t possibly get worse, they did. As you know from my previous entry my mothers health is fragile.

On Saturday, Oct, 15 our family went to my Aunt “Saint” Pat’s house to get pictures taken of the family. Our last chance to do so considering the direction things were going. When I arrived at my parents home to assist them with getting ready and carpool up there mom wasn’t looking very good. She was covered in blankets claiming to be cold, but she had no temperature.

About an hour and a half later after the pictures were all taken I gave mom a hug and she was warm to the touch. We called it a night and took the parents home to get some rest. I drove home and put the girls to bed as well, did my nightly checks on the computer then passed out. Half way through the night moms temperature hit 102 and she was off to the hospital via ambulance. Jane was en route from home and met them there.

The prognosis, strep throat and a bacterial infection in her blood. Needless to say a simple prescription of medicine wasn’t going to cut it, these had to go IV. BTW journal, mom is still in the hospital. This little tale gets worse.

I could go into graphic details and descriptions about abscesses in her throat from the cancer that was strangling her but I won’t. Long story short, the huge swollen pus bubble was lanced, drained away and now a weird little plastic tube wiggles from a hole in her throat allowing the rest to do the same.

Within 24 hours of surgery my sister received a call from Aunt Pat, who was at the hospital visiting my mom, asking if she was aware that mom had just had a stroke. She had just arrived at the hospital and found out by walking into an empty room, that my mother resided in the previous day, and thinking the worst. (Nope, not dead just moved up to ICU) Jane was not pleased when she arrived at the hospital 15 minutes after receiving the call. (No, she doesn’t drive that fast she just lives that damn close. LOL)

Evidently the nurses on the second floor had thought that the nurses on the third floor had made the next of kin contact, and the ones upstairs thought the same, but neither floor bothered to ask if it had been made at all. Argh!

We can be thankful at least that she was in the hospital when she had the stroke. The nurses were quick to react to the situation and the doctor gave her a shot that lessened the effects.

My sister and brothers are good about keeping me informed about my moms ever changing health status. I figured it best to let her rest before taking the girls up to see her. And I really didn’t want to drag a case of strep home with me.

Thursday was the day that Paul was off and we gathered at moms house early to get a few things settled. Mark had to go to work and wasn’t able to be present but made sure that we all knew where he stood.

I wasn’t ready to face this inevitable confrontation, especially with my kids in the house. I pleaded with White to take her younger sister outside and play, in case things got loud and ugly. No need for them hearing that kind of stuff.

Not much of anything got settled that day, the main issue being focused on the house and the subsequent care of my invalid father. He had 2 strokes and a heart attack 6 years ago this Christmas. But at least we got some cleaning done. That’s a whole other story. My parents the fucking pack rats from hell. I love them though.

Around noon I got my father his lunch and advised him that when he finished, we would go see mom. His sad eyes popped open and he shoveled the food in. Honestly it was good motivation, he hadn’t been eating well all week. He missed her, after 48 years of sleeping in bed with someone next to you; it’s awful lonely when they are gone.

By the time it took me to smoke a cigarette and transfer my dad’s wheelchair to my van, he had finished his coffee and plate of food. I was proud. That may sound condescending but it’s not meant to be. He didn’t argue with me when I told him that his face needed to be washed, and his hair looked a fright. I told him to think of it as a date and he had to look just right. Jane called the house before we left and said mom had been moved downstairs and out of ICU. Good news, finally.

The girls and I hit a drive thru and ate on the way to the hospital. When we arrived we got lucky and found a spot close to the front. I didn’t grab mom’s handicapped placard, but we had the chair and my legs aren’t broke. A quick zip down this hall, turn to the right followed by a left and all the way at the end of the hall. Room 218.

It was so cute journal when I wheeled him into the room. Moms eyes teared up and those sparkling blue gems smiled just as plain as the lips that curved wide in a grin on her face. Dad didn’t wait for the nurse to move out of the way he pulled his chair from my hands and shuffled his feet to get to her bedside and hold her hand.

Aunt Pat was there and had been for a while, she stayed only 30 minutes then left so we could visit. Jane had been kind enough to sit the kit, while White and I visited with my mom and dad. We had a good visit and stayed for several hours, just talking, and sharing stories. Mom told us her good news. The infection was out of her blood and the cat scan showed that the clot has shrunk to one quarter it’s original size since the stroke. I was elated and for the first time that week I had hope.

Joel, my brother from another mother, showed up and brought ice cream for mom.
Unfortunately she’d never get to eat it, or anything else for that matter. About 15 minutes before Joel arrived the nurse gave my mother some weird blue dye to drink. I knew something was drastically wrong when I watched as the indigo colored ooze seeped out of her throat and stained the freshly changed bandages.

Nurse Sarah was aware there was a problem also and was fleet on her feet to call the doctor in. I kicked the girls out of the room and backed my dad up from her bed so they could take care of her needs.

It was then that they discovered the worst. The cancer had eaten a hole through her esophagus, and the food she had been consuming (albeit puree) wasn’t all making it into her belly. They were able to determine from this how her blood infection had occurred and why there was so much in her throat.

The doctor changed my mom’s eating order to NPO, which means not by mouth and she hasn’t had any food or liquid since Thursday afternoon (except IV fluids). They were supposed to install her G tube (a device used to transport food directly into her stomach and avoid her mouth completely) on Friday, but a huge auto accident had the OR’s backed up all day. So mom’s surgery got put on hold until Monday morning.

The oncologist delivered the worse news the next day. Friday, around 14:00 I received a call from my hysterical brother freaking out, babbling and crying like a baby so bad that I could only make out the word. “I’m going to see mom, get over here and watch dad.” I tried to get him calm enough so that I could comprehend the gibberish he was speaking. I asked him to call my sister who lives 10 minutes away instead of me who lives 35 minutes away.

Mark called Jane while I threw my shoes on and bolted for the door, mostly for fear that my father would be left in the home by himself. That was unacceptable. I left White at home to care for the little one and dashed the 30 miles to my parent’s house. Jane and I arrived 5 minutes apart myself preceding her at or around 14:30

I asked Mark all the pertinent questions relating to my father’s care before he headed out the door to visit mom, around 15:00. Before he was allowed to leave I pulled him to the side and advised Mark that if he had anything, anything he wanted to say to mom or ask forgiveness for any wrongdoing that he had better do it now.

Jane filled me in on the medical mumbo jumbo when I got there. Not only were they going to have to put a feeding tube into mom’s stomach so she could eat, but they had to stop her radiation treatment that started Monday and they would not be able to do chemotherapy, due to the rapid progression of the cancer and the damage it was doing to her throat. Basically in a nut shell if they continued the treatments mom would have a huge hole in her throat and a trachea tube would have to be inserted as well.

I didn’t want this for my mother, I was well aware of her wishes. Then the bomb was dropped. Without the treatments her oncologist gave her 2-6 weeks to live.

While my father napped in bed, Jane and I did as my mother requested. All loose money and expensive or heirloom jewelry was gathered up to be taken to Jane’s house were it would be itemized, catalogued and eventually dropped in her safe deposit box until ready to be dispensed. I had no idea how much stuff my mother had acquired.

After all was said and done we counted the monies, 3 times together and came to the same total. It was placed in a locked briefcase and taken to her car. A total of over 20K was found, just lying in the house in various stashed places, even the freezer in the basement. (Are you fucking kidding me??) This was just the spendable cash, it didn’t include the commemorative 50 rolls of state quarters or buffalo nickels or half dollar. We didn’t take into account the 1 oz troy silver ingots all 15-20 of them.
The jewelry box was opened and I can’t even tell you how many gold and silver necklaces, rings, bracelets were removed. My hands were shaking as we secured the trunk of my sisters van and locked it up like Fort Knox. Around 18:30 Jane left, she had to get home and make sure that her son had dinner, he’s diabetic, so not going wasn’t an option.

Paul showed up right before Jane left and as we were talking the last bit out of the house. All of mom’s important documents, insurance and tax papers, and the like. I don’t envy Jane the mess she’s going to have to deal with to straighten all that out.

It was around 19:00 when Jane finally departed to go home, which left Paul, dad, and myself in the house. Mark appeared 5 minutes later returning from his visit to the hospital. I fixed dad a fresh pot of coffee and made him some dinner. While he ate, I stepped outside to take a breath of fresh air and smoke a cig.

After my brief respite I shuffled back inside to check on dad’s progress and to my surprise he was already half done. I made the mistake of mentioning that I was going to slip over to the hospital and visit mom before heading home. My father is not as deaf as I thought. He heard what I had said and began crying then refused to finish his meal. I did what I could to reassure him that I would be back Sunday to take him to see mom, but I could see the pain and the loneliness in his eyes, and on his quivering jaw.

I met Jane at the hospital around 20:00 after making sure my father was safely tucked in bed. Mark and Paul would take care of him until I could return Sunday. With notebook in hand I marched in the door, Jane got there before I could. I handed her the notebook she told me to grab and stashed my mom’s bra in a closet drawer.

My sister and I flung questions at mom with the speed of light while Jane furiously jotted down notes. After all was said and done it was 4 pages of written word, my mothers last wishes and desires for her care as well as that of her spouse and their possessions.

I clung to my mother’s hand, occasionally bringing it to my lips for a kiss. I hating asking those questions, and on several occasions choked when I heard her answers.

So in the next few weeks I’ll be spending a lot of time away from my computer. The open top construction dumpster should be getting dropped off on my parent’s driveway next week so we can clean it the fuck up.

I told you my parent’s were hoarders right. This is going to be a lot of work. I’ll try to keep you posted of our progress dear Journal, but I fear exhaustion is in mind near future.

Not only do I have to get their home cleaned up I have to pack up my own and move back in. I’m going to be the guardian of my father after my mother passes. And I’ll be caring for her after she comes home from the hospital next week.

Our plan is to attack the living room first. Not an easy task when you consider that it is packet floor to damn near ceiling with all kinds of stuff. There is a small walkway from the front door to the kitchen, where it branches off it two directions, one leading to a snake like walkway around to the stove and fridge while the other branches down the hallway and into three equally trashed bedrooms. Oh and the dining room, you can’t even see the table because it is so cluttered. Wish me luck Journal, I’m gonna need it.

Till next time,
Respectfully submitted,
Felicia Wolverinni

(I purposefully deleted a lot of the drama and family bullshit that you didn't need to know journal. But yeah, lies were said, threats were made, lawyers were used as tools to intimidate and emotions are rather high right now. But it felt really good Journal to get this off my chest. So pardon my absence for a little while or my lack of communicate my rl is really shit right now)

FYI: I do read all the comments that people take the time to post. I may not have the words to return the comment or the time to do so, but I do read them and thank each and every one of you for writing them. Your words give me hope.

As some of you have noticed I haven’t been online as much lately, and when I have been I tend to be distracted or distant. A lot of that has to due with events happening in my real life.

About 3 months ago my mother, who is very dear to me, discovered a small lump in her throat. At the time it was allergy season, and she’s always had issues with nasal drainage and throat irritation in the summer so she didn’t really concern herself with it, until about a month later.

Apparently in that time this small protrusion on her neck had doubled in size, become tender to the touch and her breathing and swallowing were becoming impaired. We didn’t waste time and got her to the doctor.

A week later, she is in the hospital for surgery to remove the mass that had now spread around her thyroid, pressed against her vocal cords and was strangling her trachea.

The doctor advised that they were able to remove the majority of the tissue, but some part were impossible to reach or could damage sensitive areas if it was removed. This was not good. The removed tissues were taken to the pathology department for closer examination to determine exactly what the hell it was, because no one in the room had seen anything like that before.

About 2 weeks later the results were in and the news was not good. The diagnosis was anaplastic carcinoma. A rare thyroid cancer. Suggestive treatment: radical radiation and chemotherapy and if she’s lucky she might see Christmas.

…Moving on….

So as you can see I have quite a bit on my plate at the moment and haven’t had a lot of time to work on the writing contest. I still want to do it, but damn it’s hard to get motivated, let alone time, to write up something for it.

I’m thinking the contest is going to be short story based (10 pages or less) with a couple of cash prizes for first and second place. I might add a third place or honorable mention award as well, not really sure yet.

Contestants will have until around Dec15 to submit themed work based around the chosen topic (undecided as yet)

Submissions will be judged on:
Grammar (spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, etc.)
Originality/Creativity
How well the author stuck to the theme.
Character development
Plot
Just to name a few. I may add more not sure yet

TL;DR : mom was diagnosed with cancer, prognosis not good.
Writing contest framework posted, still working out the details will try to keep everyone posted.
For Fucks sake why has no one responded to my last journal about Holiday Cards.. Does no one make them or know anyone that does??!!

Mostly because you have to makes lists like this so you don't forget things.

Art owed to me from:


 shiroiyuki 2 char full color Halloween themed pic for Whitetails (Sunstar & Sirus)(Paid in full $35) Sept 16, 2011

 Syntharia_Desire 1 PWYW for Bast $50.00 (paid in full) June 2012 (Almost finished-awaiting jewelry)



Artists I want to commission:

Way too freaking many but to narrow the list down quite a bit ...

 Ryan_Wardlow Want to commission a full color with background for Felicia, because I love his attention to detail.

 tidmatiger Love that art, just want one!

Need to find someone to do ref sheets for OC's

Felicia:
Siren:
Bast:
Alina:
Antonio:
Karina:
Vinaccio:
Raphael & Giovanni:






This is not a hurry up and finish my art type post so please don't feel pressured, this is a reference for me to remember things. :)

And this is the reason that people like me shouldn't own computers. I have no practical sense of how to work them correctly. I've been registered on this site for almost 3 years, and I'm just now figuring out how to work the interface. Please don't laugh too hard when I was a kid there was no such thing as the internet.

So I figured it was about time for me to do one of these journal things. I've had a few people show interest in my cast of characters so I might place some profiles on here later.

Recently I discovered the marvel that is Livestream. A wondrous little application which allows me to watch the dedicated artists that contribute to this site and their craft. It never ceases to amaze me how a few simple lines strewn together with just the right amount of shading and color coupled with a slice of environment turns into a breathless masterpiece. You people truly astound me. Artists, along with their art, are under-appreciated IMO.

Lately I've been watching  falvie Doffa  adiago porin  Wyla  Syntharia_desire and even been lucky to pick up a couple pieces too. (Love the new avi Wyla and the sketch porin *hugs* ) But mostly I just watched and listened threw in a random comment or two while impatiently waiting to post my reference sheet so falvie could draw it. Haven't gotten one yet but I'm gonna keep trying.

I often wonder if people actually read these...
Hmm.. have cash need art maybe I should run a contest, but what kind, and rules, who would judge.. these are questions I must contemplate, but art will be involved and so will money.

I should be in bed.. night folks.