So I'm happy about finally getting to be with my mate after 5 years of dating but can't help but be over loaded with emotions. I can keep my calm most of the time but when I worry it hits hard
.Then a year after this I might move back with him to Detroit, right next door to WI where my dad is. Just 6 more days of waiting

Just making this lost to just get shit out. I asume no one will read this so that why I'm posting here. I've been depressed about everything lately. I don't know what's cussed it but it's affecting everything I love. I've said stupid things I don't mean to my fiance. I can barely hold a smile, I even get the occasional suicidal thoughts. I can usually get over my negative thoughts by just talking about them, but the only people I trust are constantly busy. Just need to hold on till after work tomorrow, anniversary week with hubby will help.

Ok, so I've been back on FA for about a week x3 Waited before posting to say if I was back just in case, but I'm back =3 Been kind of in my own she'll for a while and have been trying reach back into things I loved.

I've got two stories half writen and might actually finish lol also want to reload the stories I have on here.

I'm on skype mostly now, so if I fell out of touch or you just wanna chat try fenrer.silverblade ^w^

Be seein you around

So I am finally going back to WA again soon, witch means I will be changing again haha. I will be around my friend who helped with my current story, and I will edit better grammar into what I already have. Hoping this life change gives me what I want to get into writing again.

So I am finally going back to WA again soon, witch means I will be changing again haha. I will be around my friend who helped with my current story, and I will edit better grammar into what I already have. Hoping this life change gives me what I want to get into writing again.

Just recently got my a trumpet again, been year since I played but planning on getting practice and playing ska with some friends, hopefully will put some stuff up on here soon enough :3

So yeah. Been thinking of moving out of this house because of personal reasons and getting fed up with being constantly down talked by my mums husband. My options for moving are 1. Save money for like a month or two and move somewhere close and keep my current job. Save money for a longer time (4-5 months) Leave this job after finding one by my gf and live around her. Or 3 Save for about the same amount of time and just move back to the Seattle area in WA and get a head start on my dream life.

Not sure anyone is going to read this, but its just things going on in my mind. I really just hate living here now. I hate being told "You need to act more like an adult and move out" Then be talked down on and told its a bad idea by the same fucking people when I say I have plans to move out.

So recently I got my drivers permit, and took my ged test and I'm pretty sure I did great on that. Today was my first day of work and honestly I love stocking, its work that doesn't leave me bored and always looking for the time^^

I hope to hear things are going well for everyone else out there <3

So I finally got my drivers permit, scored 100% on the test, soon will have to get my licence^^ But for now I study for my G.E.D.

I'm happy that things are finally turning around. It will be nice to finally feel like my life wasn't all just a jumble of mistakes I made.

So I have 4 stories I have started and have been stuck on all of them, the day it goes away my trial of word ends, this sucks so much TT

Hopefully I can actually sit down and finish a story. Been in and out of moods lately and when thats not going on something in my life comes up where I'm too busy to write. I do have ch 4 of my main story pretty much done and figured out, just need to type it, and need to edit my other 3 chapters before it. Any one willing to help?

I'm also having a few ideas for other stories, not sure how to start some of those though, hopefully it will come to me.

Would be a good and bad thing if I actually got a job irl, bad because it would distract me more from typing, good because it allows me money to go get my own apartment close to were my beloved lives <3

Well that all for now, will hopefully have stories and updates soon^^

Kind of a random thing for me to write about, but thanks to a talk I've had with a friend its been circulating through my mind. I love water, in all forms. Rain, mist, ocean, lake, bottled, ice, I love it all. I find a conection with water in the way I can change and yet stay the same person at my core, water can be poured into different shaped containers and yet still be water. I love snow because unlike rain it stays around for longer periods of time instead of just evaporating on a sunny day. Thats kind of my reason for being ass backwards about my moods in the rain vs the sun. I can actually get depressed if its to sunny out, like sunny to a point where everything is dry and you constantly have to be drinking some thing. I am always drinking as is, but I hate getting super dry. There is water every where here right now, got warm and most of the snow melted, so everything is damp.

The other thing about me thats like water is how I love. I feel that sometime I can bring life to people by just being as loving as I can be, and can cool them dwon when they are steamed up. But I never love in the same way every time, and that can be good and bad. It can be good like in the ways I have allready said, but bad when I give to much, then I can be like a tsunami headed for a small island. Thing is, I don't know when I flowing to much half the time, and I always have my emotions going, like a never ending rain.

I'm honestly not so sure why I typed this, but I feel happy for typing it out.

So happy to have my computer back, I hate having no charger to this bloody thing. I'll only have it till the 28th it apears, so I need to be sure to get a little work done while I'm on here. My goal is two new stories and figuring out how to post them so others dont have to download to veiw.

Maybe ifI get a little money from this holiday visit I'll try and get a commission done for me and my mate, or just try and draw one my self, lol.

The best part of having my computer so far is not being depressed any more. Living in a town with nothing to do, no internet, and a bunch of people who will judge you from the shirt you are wearing can really drag you down after a few weeks. But thats just the best part so far, can't wait to actually spend time with my mate when she gets on.

I'm not sure if I shouldkeep rambling or stop and go to bed...

Maybe I'll have some sort of a random dream I could put into story tomorrow. OH WAIT!!! I've got a couple of those already, hopefully others will like them when I get them typed. If not its their personal taste... or bad spelling and grammer =p

So I tried to open my stories to veiw them and it didnt work, so I changed the way I saved the stories, deleted them and re-added them, hopefully they will open now. hard to have readers when they cant read my stories, lol

So I have finally joined this site, am very happy to have finally joned. Makes up for moving from an area where I could meet up with furs to Wisconsin, where I can't find a fur unless I look in a mirror or computer screen. Well if any one actually reads this I plan on using this profile to put my possible fur suit ideas I want to build in the futur when I start, and working on a few story lines.

Maybe I'm wrong about Wisconsin and there are furs some where, just not looking in the right places, or every one is keeping it a secret from people around them in fear of being judged. I hope I make a fur-end while I'm living here, I know there are fur where I came from and plan on moving back too, but its cool being around people who share interest like this with you.

Hehehe, kind of funny, I've never used a journal before, just feels good to type, the only things on my mind right now is getting a job, meeting my mate, and finding other furs... ok those arent the only things on my mind but they are the top things, even if my line of thought changes like the numbers on an electronic clock.

Well i cant think of any thing else to type about, so I guess this is a good first journal.