It seems from the research I'm doing into my life's ambition that the backpack I've been planning on using is too small, not only in capacity but also in stature. it's an internal frame daypack made by Kelty, blue with a rounded top and side pockets and front compartments. The reason I say it's too small is partially due to the amount I will need to be carrying but also the shoulder straps are anchored too close to the hip belt and ride too hard on my shoulders. it is not comfortable for long hauls. *sigh* I guess I'll just have to save up for ye another expense, this time for an external frame pack.

For those that don't know, my life's ambition is to hit the road and live life as a hermit, as there are not any mountaintops left to claim, I'll be a wanderer, perhaps even walking to Alaska in a round about way. the drive for this dream is in part due to my survival interests.

There was a dimly lit arcade, as most arcades go with Wii golf games on waterfall covered skeeball ramps, which sometimes would automatedly change course. the idea was to chip the ball up the course and watch the ball get washed back down. I had climbed over the partition that was meant to keep people from doing what I was doing, a mere courtesy restriction. Making sure to step on the dry parts of the course I was able to observe the scale and design of it while it was unused.

Wandering through a suburban area I saw a tower made of wood. It looked quite tall but fragile. I decided it looked as if the top could overlook the horizon and I started climbing it. Along the way I was distracted by shelves built into the structure filled with CD's, mostly music and there was someone sitting and adding to the distraction. by this time I had almost reached the apex and once there, I saw that the tower was enclosed, blocking view of the horizon.

Young people, within the confines of some kind of Government medically based building with glass walls and secret departments, using indefinable torture methods to retard the thinking and culture of those in their captivity. Much like cave men. After seeing this I was outside the complex and watching as a young person was being escorted into the building by an old man, mostly bald with whiting hair around the sides and back, wearing black slacks and a mundane shirt, I had on a black boating life jacket, reminiscent of a military style tactical vest. at seeing me he came back out with a knife, a kukhri with a scratched and used blade and worn handle and threw it at me. it missed and I retrieved it from being stuck in the ground. When I picked it up I had one in each hand and he had another. He spoke then, directly to me in english, requesting to 'confer'. I asked "confer what, a truce?" he replied negatory, implying a duel. We were standing 20 paces apart and facing eachother, I threw one of my weapons straight but not fatal, as it bounced once off the ground and impaled itself in his shin. It looked quite painful and he fell back and to the side, at which point someone from inside the building had come to his aid.

I went for a walk today wearing my good berkenstocks, since I do my best thinking when on the move. Trying to devise a way to repair the hole in the sole of my running shoes which I've had for several years and I'm poor so saving things is a good idea in general. I had several decent ideas but by the time I got home all I could find in the mostly full recycling bin was a 5 quart round ice cream bucket which seemed to have the right kind of material I needed. I cut off the bottom and rim of the pail and laid it out flat in two equal pieces, which gave me enough room to make a pair of insoles. I took these pieces inside and washed them of under hot water which also let me flatten the warp a bit and went to get my shoes to make tracings of the present insoles...

It doesn't look like I'm going to be able to save this pair, the hole is too ragged in the one that I needed to fix the most, so I'll hang on to the 2 pieces of pail plastic for later.

I also found a milk jug from wallmart that had 2 concave indentations which look perfect to try as fursuit head eyes, so I'm saving those as well.

I vehemently despise all motorized vehicles with passion and loathing. I see no beauty in them, even aesthetically, nor have I ever felt comfortable with such a cumbersome possession. Such a fallacy of freedom is this, terrible construct, bulgerous reflection of the human disease. I have never enjoyed driving, indeed the only thing close was many a time cruising that I could let my mind wander as it will. But I can do that walking or biking.

I will continue to ride my bike to and from work, only 16 miles (1:15) each way.

A shape is the limit of a solid.
A fluid assumes the shape of it's container.
Life assumes the shape of it's environment.
Energy cannot be unmade.
Force equals mass times acceleration.
Reality is the sum total of perception.
Existence is the sum total of being.
Perception is an experienced change in reality or existence.
Discipline is the practice of perfection.
That which is not logical, cannot naturally exist.

recently purchased some packets of mixed herb tea from a discount/discontinued grocery store and some of the ingredients are some that I've never heard before. The label is primarily in spanish with english subtitles, and apparently distributed by Vital Hierbas Naturales.

the first experiment is apparently for relaxation and has the ingredients: Azahar Mano, Tila Trompo, Tila Eestrrella, Toronjil, Tumvaquero, Muerdago, and Brasil Damiana.

the second might be for pain relief as its called VilalArthri. The ingredients: Sarsaparrilla, Chaparral, Nette Alfalfa, and Dande leon.

the third and fourth seem to be for internal organs, one for the lungs and one for the liver, spleen, stomach, pancreas, and kidney
The one for tthe lungs has the ingredients: Penny Royal, Muellin, Nettle, and Fenugreek.
the one for the other organs contains: Yarrow, Boldus, Senna, and Brickelia.

What I would like to know is if anyone has heard of or tried these blends before or knows the plants associated with these names, and their uses or effects.

http://www.mediafire.com/?4s6dhca9ik9bsnd

here's the PDF of the book I've been trying to translate. From all I can tell the title is: King Solomon and his followers.

I plan on reading the accompanying story to the album, by Jon Anderson, sometime in the near future. I plan on posting it here and possibly later on youtube as well since I can't find any instance of the same thing on there. My roomate got me a near-mint copy of the album not long ago as a gift because before I only had half the writing and illustrations. The inner page had long ago been removed for unknown reasons. The story is just as beautiful and deep as the song lyrics and music, and if I can tap into the poetic rhythm of the grammar of the story, well see if I can do honor to the vision of Jon Anderson.

I don't know how long it will take but I might be doing the reading in two or four parts.

http://www.clusterflock.org/2008/04.....he-memory.html

here's the latest clue provided by someone on the reddit furs chatroom on furnet.

Furaffinity is not facebook people, stop submitting photos of your human ugliness and angering the mods. I understand the joy of sharing, I'm a photographer and crafter, but really, how much is too much.

page views!

My plans for celebrating this event will include me recording myself reading a story. Olias of Sunhillow, by Jon Anderson. Since I recently received as a gift a VG-condition copy of the album (I had another copy but it was missing half the story, the most important part!)

Another strangely symbolic dream took place, this time involving preparations for a drive-by attack of some kind, but instead of guns it was candles, lots of candles on modular shelf units. perhaps fifty per shelf, on three tiers, two sides per unit, on three shelf units, the candles were of various sizes and colors. the candles themselves being lit by way of a gun cocking motion, or the motion of slipping a bullet into a clip. I was not the only person doing this but I was the only one with as much determination as would be necessary to complete the task. All the candles had to be lit before the drive-by, and all the candles would be expressed by the pulling of a trigger. And I could smell the candles burning.


50x3x2=300, x3=900

had another interesting dream in which I found a wall of rock as tall as trees and as thick as a car is long, smooth and flat in some areas, rough and natural in others. sometimes there was a small hole that you could peek through and not see very much on the other side. following the wall to the left (with the wall on my right) it eventually changed into a bookshelf in a library, as well as the trees I had been walking through. on one of these there was a book aboout 2-1/2 inches thick by 10 inches wide and 14 inches tall in my hands. on the spine was the name of the author of the book "zeight" pronounced somewhere between eight and height, below which was a faded red and white picture in a right triangle shape from a woodblock carving, like something from Dante. and below this was a Latin 2-part name which was between 18 and 24 letters long and the words "his life and times" meaning it was some kind of biography.

opening the book there were parts which had poetry or musical lyrics in which each line was like a verse in itself, condensed and oddly had almost Klingon grammar, missing spaces between some of the words and having strange choice of words which I could see were all in english but I can't remember any of them now, though I can remember the melody that went with most of the lines. it was primarily one song, though it was very long. Over an hour and a half to sing, 2 hours with accompaniment.

recently my pink Samsung camera got broke when the roommate was recording some music footage in the bathroom, and bumped the cylinder against the tripod as he was taking it off. it was a S860, 8.1mp that I got on sale as it was being discontinued at Wallmart. I'll keep it in storage for future exploration of camera guts.

Today I went in and got a replacement for it, a Nikon coolpix S6000, 14.2mp. and we'll see if it measures up in the following months. with all such technology there are trade-offs as to the features, such as lithium ion batteries.

Almost 1000 page views coming up, and I want to do something to commemorate it. What do people want to see in my gallery?

In the movie, Dune, there is a scene which always stands out the most. Paul is being 'tested' by the reverend mother, and is told to put his hand in a box containing pain. Warned that if he removes his hand, she will kill him with poison. "your awareness may be powerful enough to control your instinct. Your instinct will be to remove your hand from the box." implying that Paul may be human...

There is a deeper truth here that is not mentioned in the book or the movie. That his true instinct was to keep his hand in the box, despite he pain. Proving his humanity but also that he was most controlled by his instinct. it's not easy to explain in words...

Thufir alluded to this when he warned Paul that "the first step to avoiding a trap is knowing of its existence." There are 5 sides to every coin, 6 if you include the absence of aspect. the action of instinct, the reaction to instinct, the awareness of these two, the perception of choice, the perception of perception.

Downtown Mash.
I met him in a dream once, or near the end of a dream, at a bus stop. So I made a D20modern character after him. His name comes from the olive drab US army medical satchel and wears a army overcoat. He also has every episode of the 4077 memorized. His family run a Vietnamese restaurant and his birth name is charlie, so its not hard to see why he prefers his nickname. he works in his families restaurant and is saving up to go to medical school.

Recent events have led me to the contemplative conclusion that humans as a race and as a species will never be worthy of the stars.

last evening I had a dream in which I was observing, looking straight down a square stairwell with between fifty and a hundred floors. each level occupied by the actor Sam Neill, who plays the archeologist on the Jurassic park movies, all progressing upward along the steps. the bottom of the stairwell was obscured in darkness and at the time I noticed this, the gravity shifted 90 degrees to where the stairwell became a hallway and all the Sam Neills continued towards/past me on my right- their left by walking in and out of the cases as they went. the last thing that happened in the dream was a verbal reference to the song by DIO.

I had the impression that the stairwell was a representation of the consciousness of a whale, no smaller than a humpback.

for the record I don't mind being around children, I just don't like them because I see them as potential wastes of potential. there are too few people who in my opinion should have the right to create life, and those that are worthy are seldom interested in doing so.

Jared Moreau: A D20modern character I made when I first got the campaign book for it. Basically an anthro feline lynx/bobcat type with either a very short tail or none at all. plantigrade feet with retractile claws on both hands and feet. Survivalist and potential revolutionary with hand picked flaws of attraction to cartoons and aversion to hospitals. most often wearing denim jeans and a junior misses T-shirt, and carrying a backpack containing all his personal belongings. I got the idea from the game Chrono Cross even though the character is nothing alike.

Silma: a foxtaur on furcadia, male-herm. Wearing a poet style shirt with the laces on the front and tied-cuffed sleeves. I made thiss character because of my love for another foxtaur named Ladon Ceres though later came to be the loving mate of Firina, another foxtaur.

Fenumendil: the name means Friend-of-dragons or dragon-lover, in the Quenya language. A male elf character in the style of LOTR and as a background was a servant in one of the 5 elf houses mentioned in the Silmarillion. Originally was wearing a pirate type outfit but after moving from furcadia to tapestries muck, decided on harem slave silks and looking alot like Deedlit from ROLW.

The Black Fox: halfling druid/rogue character for D&D3.5 with a wolf animal companion that also serves as a mount. level 3/3. Backstory includes acting as a covert agent for the druids as well as a freelance thief and rebel. often wearing a fox pelt and wielding a spear for mounted combat. being level (6) makes the leadership feat available though having a pack of wolves might be a bit too powerful, especialy when I play well made characters like this such that the ECL is signifigantly higher then their actual level.

Went perusing my favorited music videos on youtube recently and found one of them had been pulled down after something to do with the user account and third party copyright complaints. the video was of an old episode of Rainbow Quest with Pete Seger, of Richard and Mimi Farina playing the bold Marauder. it was most likely recorded with a camcorder, as the show was old (before colorization) and quite lovely, and I haven't yet come across another recording of the same performance. Richard Farina dies a while back, and Mimi is the sister of Joan Baez. if you get a chance, look up their music before it disappears.

climbing quickly over a chain link fence topped with a coil of barbed wire, almost razor wire, i received only one or two superfluous scratches on the heel of my right hand. joining me on the other side was a friend I had made in the moment, yet there was one other who got left behind. who we were fleeing I do not know now. though someone appeared from whence we came to offer us advice and a handful of roadwork decoys, red-white, and yellow-black both. we went to one and then another hiding place intending to recuperate and finally got separated in the 'common floor' of some sort of high-rise apartment building where outside, MsPiggy was playing a hole of golf. somehow finding myself on a higher floor in the upper half of the structure, I made my way to the elevators, naturally. passing by a pair of salon desks filled and attended by what seemed to be beauty school students whom I took no real notice. there were three elevators and the third which I took was apparently express as it had a place to sit with leather cushions and a 1900's art deco look made of wrought brass. and express it was for once I sat down the elevator accelerated to the point where I was feeling a lack of gravity and began hallucinating until after the lift had stopped at the common floor.

this dream starts out like any Dr. Who episode, flying through area in the Tardis, which needed no windows because while in contact with it, you are able to see in all directions outside it (nifty bonus). the Doctor was mostly David Tennant with a little of the other Doctor's mixed in. Traveling along side him was kind of a mix of Rose, Sara, and one other I think. Landing in a hallway on an upper floor in an under-development downtown building, the only color was the Tardis and some green leafed vines clinging to a rail in front of 3 circular windows, viewable from a skywalk, on the 5th floor. Exploring the lower levels I saw some workers behind glass building what looked like the backstage area of a concert auditorium "neat" I said. as I walked up some stairs which seemed a utility of the building, much concrete was being used to fill in the auditorium, yet the backdrops and backstage area were floating on top as well as those working redundantly to flatten and fill the mortar.

returning to the top floor, David hasslehoff and someone else were looking to confront the Doctor who was eventually confronted on the skyway, which had one main hall with 2 diagonally placed exits at each end. somehow the 3 of us managed to escape that and I found myself wandering downwards again, stopping along the road to mcdonalds to remember I left my wallet upstairs and went back for it. once I had it I purchased a cigarbox-violin from someone in the halls which was not completely assembled but the one or two strings which were strung over wooden rods made music almost by themselves when played. the strings were like the metal E-string from a guitar and the dowels were perhaps 10-11 inches long, the string stretched above and/or below the rod (strange). further along the gradually decending hallways and stairs I rejoined the Doctor and Rose/Sara/lela whereupon we had aquired a handfull of pipes which somehow had other merchants inside them. blowing on the piped and asking hello, a painting dropped from one, looking as though it had been attached to a calendar previously.

the picture was nebulous and somewhat scary looking and the Doctor started a conversation with it, or rather with Prometheus, who at that time was for some reason trapped in the picture. Saying this would be the second time the Doctor had freed him and was joshingly asking what Prometheus had done this time.

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end

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I want to experience real chocolate, real cheese, and real eggs. America is one of the only countries that requires refrideration for things like milk, cheese, and eggs purchased from a grocer, because it's all pre-cooked with radiation. This is not real cheese...

my mom had chickens and real, unpasturized eggs. they were fucking delicious, probably more nutritious, and could keep for over a month IN ROOM TEMPERATURE without going bad.

I had planned on going to Captain Dix for a local bdsm munch and afterwards for the masquerade party but instead I stayed in bed after my nap and slept for several hours. During this I had a dream about a place with an aquiduct-like overpass attached to what might have been a college but I don't remember now what the inside was like. There were small flat areas with growing crops amidst lines of woods like you see sometimes between farms, and in this dream there was a cycle of day and night,. At night there was a prowling creature the shape of a squirell and somewhat elemental, the size of ...a troll? It could have been a troll from the fear its presence invoked not only in myself but others that had seen it from a safe distance. Almost as if it were made of sticks and dirt and held together with green. I had commented that I had seen it 3 previous times even though this is the first time I had this dream. I was wearing a black turtleneck shirt ofer a white t-shirt and I decided to make an offering of peace to the creature by hanging my t-shirt (which was covered in my scent) on a protruding peg on the aquiduct pilon. When I had returned the next day the shirt was gone and in its place was a junky looking earring with 4 clear plastic chain links on it like shower curtain rings which would hang down past my shoulder (worn on the right ear). There was an elf I met after that who had aparently recieved a similar gift, an earring with a pair of goggles, the kind that fog up cause they dont have enough ventilation.

I also remember asking a furry friend from minnesota what its name was and she said Her name and I was writing it down but the name was too long to remember, 8 or 9 sylables. She had a reputation of eating people that woefuly disrespected the environment. I wish I had remembered Her name.