The Kitten and the Chaos

She Strides upon the contours, of an empty heart;

Singing in the silence, screaming within the dark.

She Faces the Entropy, that has torn worlds apart;

Pain alone shall have her, though She fears not its bark.

She Dances on the graves, which were buried by the light;

Laughing at their failure, rejoicing in their life.

She Calls to her the storm, the inferno in the night;

Sorrow calls in answer, a lifetime lost in strife.

She Clasps to her the void, an endless hollow soul;

Praying for the answer, to a question She can’t know.

She Stands amid the waves, She Struggles to the shoal;

Seclusion Stands with her, until death its hand shall show

She Waits within the wood; his home, his hearth, his peace

Restoring all that’s lost; his eyes, his breath, his teeth.

The Kitten and the Chaos; The Wolf within his fleece,

She Waits to be devoured; or his Strength to her bequeath…

To see you when I wake up
Is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
Is a three-fold, Utopian dream.

You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said "I miss you"?

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.


*Incubus*

I over analyze. I think and think and think on something until it's shattered. I destroy things by over treading them. I examine and take apart every word, every tone, every action, until there is nothing left, and I still may have not been right. And then, it's next to impossible to fix things. It's a painful form of being self destructive. I'm sooo fearful of the uncertain-ness of the future. I do adapt well, but not being prepared for my new circumstances terrifies me. I don't want to make a wrong step. Don't wanna screw it all up forever. But I always do. I don't know how to stop. To breathe. How to pause, and just let it go. How to flow with the rhythym of the waves. How to be brave, and face what's coming, the unknown, with a fierce face, and not show my fear. To win, for once.

I haz a sad today. There may not be a justified reason for it. I could very well just be depressed, fighting off the heavy onslaught of blues...I dunno. I've just cried twice in the past hour, and all I can think is that I just want a hero. Even for a day...just... to know for even a moment, that it was all ok. And it probably is ok. Sometimes, I'm just a jaded, kinda broken, very vulnerable girl. I hate that side of me, being weak. I hate being that typical emotional female. I wanna be my happy playful self again...I know I will be...I'm just having a moment....or a day, or something. Whatever.




*Broken Angel*
-Rain-

Broken evil,

Angel so bruised,

Either way it went,

One had to lose.

And so wings have shattered,

Feathers all lost,

Sacrifice to save one,

But at what cost?

No healing left for you now,

Bloodied, and so torn,

Nothing to do but feel the pain,

And to sorrow and mourn.

Maybe tears will purify,

Saline will burn dark away,

And wings shall be whole again,

To fly another day.

The warmth of the glow,
Chasing fireflies in the snow...
A soft smile, a grin that you echo...
Chasing fireflies in the snow.