Dear Mateys,



I'll start by telling you the final results of my test. Not so good, but I did pass. But now that all that is out of the way, I'll be working on 2 ferry videos that I have neglected due to studies, and I'll look forward to making new artwork for all of you and I'm even going to look into doing comics.



I'm also going to add some new characters. Since Twisted-Studio and I are no longer friends, I had to come up with a new character for a coast guard boat. This new character will be based off the Duwamish Fireship which is docked on Lake Union in Seattle with the Virginia V and some other historic vessels. I'm actually thinking of keeping the name "Duwamish" calling him "Marshal Duwamish". I'm hoping to introduce him at some point before Christmas.



Come in the new year many of my characters will receive redesigns as well as some name changes as mentioned previously. Many of you already know I changed Lulu's name from Lulu Roo to Lulu Kangaroo as a response to her husband, which is basically the kangaroo version of me and he'll receive a totally new design.



As a small mini story, Jacob's lighthouse on Loneroo Island was decommissioned after an out-of-control tramp steamer came up onto the shore and smashed into it, causing the lighthouse to collapse. Jacob then met with Lulu who was a ferry captainess at the time. She was an old friend of Bob Graywolf (by BobGrayWolf on DeviantArt) who heard of the accident and Jacob's layoff and asked if he could get a position with her. Little did he know he would make a match. Jacob took the position, first serving as a fireman on her ferry, and went back to crab fishing after their marriage when Lulu was reassigned to a crab boat shortly after their marriage where he would remain until Lulu retired from commanding ships all together to work on shore, as a counselor and a dock manager before eventually she elected as the harbourmistress in 2018.



Jacob,

Dear Mateys,



Today is the final exam of my quarter. I hope I do well, especially at math which considering everything, I am very sure I'm going to fail it or at the very last not get good marks. But I whatever happens, I put my good faith in our father in heaven, but I could use some prayers from everyone.



I really want to do well, and I've been studying my hardest, but on some subjects, it doesn't seem to matter and that I can't do well without looking into my notes and such, but despite this I do hope it all works out.



Jacob,

Dear Mateys,



I feel like I need to point out something on why I've decided to portray Jacob Kangaroo the way I did. I have said he is a retired character, but I feel like I'm at the point where I'm bringing him back to life, although I still don't intend to use him often, but I do occasionally like to dress him up as something.



Some redevelopments are even going into his story, such as how he is married to Lulu Kangaroo. I mentioned before that Lulu is based off a real kangaroo I know, since I no longer have a girlfriend and I feel like I might not, I figured "why not?" it's only a story after all. But last time I was at the Outback Kangaroo Farm, I did notice that Lulu did have an affection for me, and I can't deny I feel the same. No, I'm not a zoophile, of course I know I can never marry her in real life, that would be an abomination.



The main reason I've been drawing my kangaroo fursona more often is because college classes have been preventing me from doing much more in terms of art. Fortunately there's only 1 week left of my term and after that I'll have more time to do art for all of you.



I also thought of a drawing by BobGrayWolf on DeviantArt called "We've only just begun" he also drew a painting of me with Skippy. I figured he's more likely draw me in that form again if he ever redid his dancing party picture and I thought I'll likely be paired with Lulu. The very thought of this is what made me decide on whom Lulu would be married to, and Jacob Kangaroo is likely to receive a redesign for when he does appear. Even so, I plan to keep focus on my boat-sona, so again Jacob Kangaroo is not likely going to be used often. I've never seen Bob draw vehicles at all let alone any that are non-faceless, I'm thinking that's because of all the complexity in it, I'm still practicing it myself.



So, with all this in mind I think it's fair to say, no, Jacob Kangaroo is not entirely back. Just will be making brief appearances once in a while, but I feel like the idea of having Lulu married to him might just work out.



Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

Some of you might have noticed that I haven't been posting much and well, that's because I haven't had the time to do so. This is because I'm now in college studying for my GED and I'm overwhelmed with studies.

I have however been able to draw a few sketches most of which I put on DeviantArt. I'll be posting 2 of them here rather shortly.

Next Spring I am hoping to do more ferry rides in which I will be posting these adventures on Youtube. Remember that I still have 2 more that I recorded in early Autumn that are still yet to be made, and I am hoping to have that covered in December.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,



I've been meaning to do 2 more videos of my ferry adventures in September; I recorded footage from the Virginia V and the Kaleetan but college and studying have been monopolizing my time in doing videos. I don't think I'll be able to upload them until December.



Likewise, I might not even be able to do any artwork until December. My classes are lasting every week until then. I do hope in God's good graces that I will be continuing to draw and that I'll have plenty of ferry adventures to go. So far, I have a good support system in all of you.



I do hope I will be able to restart soon, but for now I have other priorities to see to, even if they will last for a few months.



Jacob,

Dear Mates!

Autumn is here and I still have 2 new ferry videos to make for Youtube, and have just recently uploaded 3 new ones. Now I also promised to get back into artwork as soon as this is finished, however I'm also starting to take a couple of college classes, and I'll be attending those until December.

I'm hoping this will open the door to doing more, possibly to earning a college degree. The classes I'm taking won't exactly give me one, but I will get a proper diploma, since I wasn't granted this in high school. Maybe with this I can make my way to being a real steamship captain or maybe something greater.

Well, the ferry aspect of myself is not really a captain yet either but is on his way to being one, he's a first officer now, but he still has to go through that training and once his is a captain he is to be anointed in a church ceremony.

Anyway, I've got a lot of studying to go through, I've been receiving help through my mother, and I feel like I should have my father involved too, he doesn't yet know I started this. But more to the point, I don't think I'll be able to draw as much as I intend to this winter because of all that's going on, although I should grow my art skills. But once these classes are finished then I'll hopefully be able to take animation classes as well so that I can animate a show on Youtube. I'll also be looking for some volunteer actors if that happens.

Well, anyway that's all the news I have for now so, I do hope I'll be able to take off with these classes and still be able to draw artwork for you all to see.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

Autumn is nearly here, and some new developments are coming. Lulu will receive a new design in the coming of the new year, I'll spare you from any spoilers. But when I saw the real Lulu at the Outback Kangaroo farm when I went before the end of August, where she almost pounced on me as if to say "where have you been all Summer" I was reminded of a peculiar mark on her snout. Turns out this is how the staff there tell the difference to all the kangaroos, we have to look for the mark. I'm also looking for ways to instill that in our harbourmistress, but there's a chance I might only change her uniform.

Some other developments are on the way. I've been uploading videos of ferry rides on Youtube mostly out of Bremerton, but I'm hoping to explore more. It also turns out the Virginia V is having 2 free cruises on the last Sundays of September and October this year and I'm hoping to attend those. I'm also looking to volunteer on the Virginia V but first it seems I'm in line for a new job and I want to see how that goes before I do anything else.

Other new developments are on the way too; in my mother's favour I didn't axe Robbie Graywolf on DeviantArt who is a fan character for BobGrayWolf on DeviantArt after his confirmation on his character Bob's history. Robbie being formally known as Robert Graywolf II, a name passed down from his uncle. Well, I decided that I feature Bob and Bianca so much that I decided to keep him as their nephew, although I am willing to pass him on to BobGrayWolf if he's willing to make this canon. Robbie also remains a commercial fisherman working with Sig Hansen and occasionally with other crab captains like Rick Shelford (another Deadliest Catch captain who I will also feature in non-faceless boat form).

Some of you might remember that I sketched out a wolfess on DeviantArt who is Robbie's girlfriend and is also the new harbourmistress for Graywolf City (also by BobGrayWolf), her name is "Sofia Vancouver" and is a Vancouver Island gray wolf. I'm actually working on her reference sheet now. BobGrayWolf might no longer be on Furaffinity, but I'll likely feature Robbie and Sofia there anyway since rightfully they're my characters but true to that nature of the intentions for these characters Robbie is based of Bob Graywolf, so that in sense will be like having him back on FA. However, I don't intend to make any profit out of fan characters or fanarts and therefore he gets the treatment of all my Deadliest Catch fanart and any other fanart I do which means images involving him will not be featured on Ko-Fi.

For both BobGrayWolf and Syos-Spaniel on DeviantArt, I came up with a public transport ferry network known as "Violet County Transportation" and a steamship named Rebekah who runs some of the ferry services out of Graywolf City. I was originally going to base him of the Jungle Queen III which is a tour boat operating in Fort Lauderdale Florida, USA but I'm thinking of basing her off the Port-O-Call instead, this is a sidewheel paddle steamer that once operated in Seven Seas Lagoon in Walt Disney World.

As for myself, well I'm going to do a few changes as well, my boat-sona is still based off the S.S. Kitsap II but with some liberties taken. Ferryboat Jacob is formally named "Jacob Ski" and is actually wider than the ship he is based off of, and longer too, but stands no higher than the Kitsap II. Similarly, the boat character I designed after  Taliyus for my story will also receive a redesign, again being wider than the boat she is based off of (the Bailey Gatzert) and is slightly longer. The name painted on her bow will read "Corrine Ferguson" instead of "S.S. Corrine". She along with some of her colleagues are still based in Crocling Town (a community by  Taliyus) and works for the Orana Ferry Co. which has a hub in Graywolf City, further expanding their port.

I still like to feature my other friends when I can. I'm also in the process of making up a series of pictures that take place in the Taliyus universe but does not focus on Fausto, Faleeta and their friends but rather the crew involved or try to be involved.  Taliyus,  Tarri,  AntoninoCanino and me are all Taliyus themed characters living in our own community in the Taliyus universe, all of us are kangaroos except for AntoninoCanino who is a border collie. I'm still trying to come up with various scenarios on how this will work, my original idea was that it takes place on a railway owned by yours truly which was somewhat inspired by Petticoat Junction, another idea is that we all ran a pawn shop in Taliyus.

Speaking of  Tarri, I've been meaning to draw her in her fennec form for some time, it'll be in a masterpiece involving her best friend Corri ( Taliyus ) in the ferry form I came up for her and in Crocling Town too.

Still going on about my friends I noticed that two of my friends have rabbit characters with more or less the same personalities. Golkeyx on DeviantArt has Clara Bunny and  Panda-Jenn has Bridget, it gave me the idea to bring these two rabbit characters together as well as one of my own which I already decided to name "Isabel Hare" and they have their own little gang called "the Mucky Bunnies" where they try making various businesses and get into loads of trouble. But my rule is anything that involves characters belonging to others cannot be made to make a profit and such projects are not posted on Ko-Fi.

Before I ramble on any further, I'd better cut to the chase, like I said, I am now posting videos on Youtube on ferry rides throughout Washington State's Puget Sound and more. I'll leave a link to my Youtube channel down below. Like and Subscribe if you like what I do there and want to see more. I've just recorded 2 more ferry rides in Seattle and these along with a harbor cruise on the Virginia V near the end of September, will probably be the final ones until Spring next year.

So that's what'll be happening in the future, and I pray that in God's good will all of this goes well. I encourage you all to support any of my friends whom I have mentioned, I'm sure they will appreciate that. I often include them in my artwork to promote them and ensure their successes.

Jacob,

https://www.youtube.com/@FerryboatJacob

Dear Mateys,

While tinkering with a video I was working on in Kdenlive, somehow the audio got turned off and I can't seem to find a way to bring it back. When it streams then no sound comes out even when it hits an audio track. I just don't know what to do at this point. I tried all kinds of Youtube instructional videos but none of them were helpful.

If there's anyone out there who knows a thing or two on how to fix this, I'd be grateful if you would reach out via comments. Hopefully your solution will work.

Future videos will be put on hold until then, I just hope I can get the problem resolved soon.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

4 days ago, I came back from my cruise to Alaska on the Queen Elizabeth, I had a good trip, and I took pictures of many ships which I'm uploading on DeviantArt. I make photos exclusive to DA because they have a watermark tool which I'm not aware FA has. I even rode the 2 cableways at Icy Strait Point, and I uploaded films of that on Youtube. Links to my DA gallery and YT channel will be below.

I also did a behind-the-scenes tour of the Queen Elizabeth to see how the ship's crew make it all happen behind the scenes. I wasn't allowed to take any photos of these because they were top security places. But I did meet the captain and unexpectedly I got a present from him. It was a plaque from his first vessel "the Coral Princess" and I have a photo of it on DeviantArt. Yes, he truly made my experience one of the best I've had.

But you know what they say, "there's no place like home" and I think I'm going to refrain from taking vacations for a good long while, aside from some ferry trips to Seattle and to Victoria BC and trips to the Outback Kangaroo Farm in Arlington.

I did enjoy my time in Alaska though, I got to ride on the old White Pass and Yukon Railway, ride some cableways at Icy Strait Point and I even went on a crabbing tour in Ketchikan. It was easily one of the best experiences in my life, I felt like I truly was experiencing Deadliest Catch.

But it's always good to be home again.

Jacob,

https://www.deviantart.com/ferryboa.....4145775/photos
https://www.youtube.com/@FerryboatJacob

Dear Mateys,

Tomorrow is the day I leave on the Cunard liner Queen Elizabeth heading for Alaska. I will be gone for 10 days, and I will keep you all posted whenever possible.

Many places in Alaska still don't have Wi-Fi. They're still practically living in the old west up there. There are lots of places that can't be reached by road or by railway, you must either fly there or go by ship and that's how I'm going to get there.

But I'm sure we'll have a fun time up there; we'll be visiting many places along the Alaskan panhandle. Nowhere special just the usual places such as Sitka, Juneau and Ketchikan.

This will also be the last time we go to Alaska for a while and the next time I go up there, it will most likely be on the Alaska Marine Highway ferry which I've always wanted to travel on. But the AMH ferry does go even further, all the way to Dutch Harbor on the Island of Unalaska. That is where the Deadliest Catch show takes place. It's one of the largest fishing ports in Alaska.

But for this trip as usual the furthest I will go will be Skagway, which is the starting point for the famous White Pass and Yukon Railway which crosses the border into Canada.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

On Monday I'll be leaving for Alaska yet again with my family. I mentioned before that Alaska has been a special place for me. And this time we're going with a fancier steamship company. That happens to be Cunard ( Oceanlinerorca will be so jealous).

The steamer we're taking out of Seattle will be the RMS Queen Elizabeth. This is the first Cunard ship to come to Seattle and she's currently on Alaska cruises this, Summer. I feel like it might've been more worth it if it were the now withdrawn RMS Queen Elizabeth II.

We're visiting more or less the same locations we have before, but this also might be our final Alaska cruise for a while as my family is kind of tiring out of it. Even my parents have gone there a few times without us.

But there's a lot more going on onboard this ship than any other we've been on and I'm looking forward to it. This is rather formal, so we've spent weeks shopping for formalwear and more. It'll be like being in a royal residence or somewhere very important. I'm certainly looking forward to this. I'll update again on the day before we leave.

Anchors aweigh!

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

Yesterday I had someone suggest that if I bring Jacob Kangaroo back as the captain of the Hyak that I make the Hyak to be non-faceless. Well, that probably won't happen, I'd like to keep the Hyak and other Washington State Ferries faceless, despite preferring to see faceless vehicles in the human world. Also, the universe I created is kind of like TUGS, while some vehicles are non-faceless there are some that are faceless.

However, I did once think of a scenario utilizing the Washington State Ferries, BC Ferries and other ferries in the Puget Sound (including Alaska Marine Highway ferries) as characters, non-faceless ships come to mine just like what I'm doing now. It's something I still think of from time to time, but whether or not that will become a reality, that's hard to say. If I do, I'll most likely feature only those that are still in services such as the Coho and Issaquah, even those that officially run as museum vessels like the Virginia V.

Something else I'd like to address is something concerning Ferryboat Jacob and his friends. Because of the style of the non-faceless ships I draw, understandably anyone would think that the story probably takes place around the Ocean Liner era from the 1880s to the 1950s, because they're the style of ships from that era. However, they also utilize modern equipment such as radios, GPS and radar, and the animal characters also use things like smartphones and tablets, this could also make people think it takes place in present times. I suppose the era is anybody's guess.

There are also some types of vehicles that I would never portray as non-faceless. This includes motorcycles, jet skis, go-karts, ATVs and any vehicle that doesn't have its own form of propulsion such as bicycles, skateboards and canoes. These are vehicles that have no engines, no boilers, no pistons, nothing. Their power comes from whoever rides them. You see, non-faceless vehicles should also have the ability to drive themselves and can even obtain their own driver's licenses, and they can't do that if somebody else has to make power for them. Toy and model vehicles are also never non-faceless.

Something else I think is worth pointing out is that anti-slavery laws apply to non-faceless vehicles. You can't buy them; you must hire them. They also can't be scrapped unless they consent to that action, or if they die, whichever comes first.

Much of this is inspired by Victor Tanzig on Youtube. He does his own Thomas the Tank Engine fanfics, portraying them in a world that shows how things would definitely be if non-faceless vehicles did exist. For example, the episode Carriages and I'll leave a link to that below. I should give a SPOILER WARNING before I go further, before you read on, you should watch the episode first if you haven't already. Notice that when Donald bumps Dominic (the spiteful brake van) he is then reprimanded by law enforcement and is punished accordingly. Furthermore, when Dominic is smashed by Douglas, not only does he break into smithereens (like in real Thomas episode "Brake Van") but he also dies. These are not just vehicles with faces, they're living beings, capable of death and feeling pain and therefore have laws they must obey.

Something else too. Like their animal counterparts, non-faceless vehicles don't live forever, they will live for a very long time (even centuries) if they're well taken care of, they actually do die of old age. It is only after the death of a non-faceless vehicle which they can be scrapped.

Jacob,

Victor Tanzig's Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@VictorTanzig1

Stories of Sodor: Carriages: https://youtu.be/IlKoPd334r4?list=P.....AZJyFr9NIXk51z

Dear Mateys,

With my birthday coming up and another trip to Alaska coming up after the start of August, I have been a bit busy and haven't exactly been drawing lately.

But those who knew me from past names know I used to be into model railways. Well, I've been motivated into getting back to that, even my mother suggested that we complete the one I'm currently working on. Also, I'm thinking of rejoining the furry fandom as fursuiting has also come back to my mind.

Also, it seems like most of you prefer Jacob Kangaroo over Ferryboat Jacob, since I can't start a poll, I'll let you all comment on which version you truly prefer, the only rule is don't leave something like "whatever you're most comfortable with".

There's a slight chance Jacob Kangaroo might make a return in a new design. Currently the only change is that his hair colour matches his fur, he's also the captain of one of the Washington State Ferries, to be more specific the now withdrawn M.V. Hyak which still exists but is no longer on the WSF roster, her future is currently unknown but is currently moored at Eagle Harbour on Bainbridge Island. Nevertheless, this is the ship Jacob commands, instead of one of the Washington State Ferries that's still in service including the Hyak's two sister vessels the Yakima and the Kaleetan.

But there is indeed a lot going on that has prevented me from doing any artwork. But I'll be sure to do some more with Jacob the ferryboat and his friends. He's a first officer now but I've vowed his story won't end until he's a captain.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

I'm here to announce that July 28 is coming and that is my birthday. That will be in about 14 days. I'm sure it will delight a lot of my friends to know. I'm actually feeling rather excited about it. I'm hoping for another tour on the Virginia V and I'll also be going back to see Lulu (the real one) at the Outback Kangaroo Farm.

I'm still sad that my attempt to post ferry watching videos failed. But maybe I'll try something simpler next time, like perhaps making videos where I ride on the ferries.

Something else too, I came up with harbours and ferry terminals for my friends so I can visit them as a ferry but even the ferry dock in Redroo Harbor is still yet to be designed but is supposed to be similar to Colman Dock in Seattle which is their main ferry terminus as well as the Smith Cove ocean liner terminal which is also in Seattle. That's where I went to catch a Holland America cruise to Alaska. I was going to have one for  Panda-Jenn until I've recently found out that Winchester is a real town in Southern California and it's not near the sea or a river so there's no way ships can go there, unless they dig a canal. The closet place they can probably go is Long Beach which does have a rather large port, and honestly there's no reason I can't have a ferry service there.

The Northwest Ferry Co. primarily operates in Alaska, British Columbia (in Canada) and Washington State, since it's based off most of the ferry services that operate there, mainly the Alaska Marine Highway Ferries and BC Ferries, although my choice of colours for the N.W.F.Co. is based off how the Washington State Ferries would've looked in the 1980s and early 1990s.

Anyway, back to my birthday, some of you might gift me with fanart although I won't be expecting it. More likely most of you will just send me a happy birthday message. However, I mostly just look forward to spending my birthdays in peace. Having big parties and lots of presents was fun when I was a boy but now that I'm a man in my 30s, I hardly look forward to anything on my birthdays these days. In fact, I tend to think "I'm not ready to be another year older" (I'll be 34 this month). I only ask that the father in Heaven will give me protection, healing and blessing and to all of my loved ones as well.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

As per a friend's suggestion, I decided to go on Ko-Fi and I'll put a link to that below. Because I'm so bad with money and don't have a job, I decided to try to make some off my artwork. I might do the same on Patreon too. Anyone who wants to support my artwork by donation can do so on Ko-Fi you can either donate monthly or just do it at any time you please. I'll do my best to ensure this works out for all.

Jacob.

https://ko-fi.com/jacobferryboat

Dear Mateys,

It seems I really must surrender my attempt to make any future videos. I just found out that it takes up a whopping amount of space in my computer's memory eventually leading to the point where it can't process. I've tried uninstalling various things I don't recognize or don't use anymore but it doesn't seem to be any good.

Clearly, the only way I'll be able to make any videos at all is if I get a bigger computer, like perhaps a desktop and I can't afford one and with everything that's going on with finances, taxes and you name it, I don't think I'll ever be able to afford one. Millennials like me and every generation after them can only succeed in life by being a millionaire from the very beginning. Nothing is affordable anymore, most generation Zs haven't even left home because of it.

So, I with this in mind, I'm going to give up on videos and focus only on art. It's sad that it's come to this but that's reality.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

I was able to make my first ferry watching video in Bremerton Washington USA, however I am having a problem with Kdenlive. Whenever I try to export my video it keeps giving me an error message saying "Cannot find pip3, please install it on your system. If already installed, check it is installed in a directory listed in PATH environment variable" pip3 appearantly refers to Python 3 which I did get that installed but clearly there's something else that needs to be done. I tried reaching out and looking into other websites that explain this but none of them provided any helpful information.

I guess I won't be uploading any videos on Youtube after all. I meant to start at the beginning of Summer but unless I can figure this out soon it just might have to wait until next year if at all. If nothing works, I'll have to try another video maker, but that means I'll have to start all over again at putting the video together. Obviously, I'm not very happy about that but I'm not sure what else I can do.

I could just keep going to other places for ferry watching and upload everything in Autumn, but my computer doesn't hold much space, and I'll probably run out of it in a jiffy. But I don't see much else I can really do at this point. We'll just have to see how it turns out.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

Summer has started as that means I'll be doing videos on YouTube. A couple of days ago I was at the Bremerton ferry terminal to get some footage of the ferries in action. The video about that will be coming soon, although I'm trying to get the hang of using Kdenlive. It's a free video editor that was recommended to me by a friend on DeviantArt. I used Wondershare Filmora where the free version comes with a huge watermark.

Unlike in the video where I did my voyage on the Virginia V, you'll actually hear my voice as I go over every boat that comes and goes from the terminal. Bremerton has many ferries the majority of them run by Kitsap transit with the Washington State Ferries being in charge of the car ferry service to Seattle. We'll see them all in action.

There will also be videos where I ride on the ferries and review their services. When possible, I'll try to keep that focused on older ships such as the Carlisle II.

If you haven't done so already, subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don't miss any of these videos. The link will be down below.

There's still some artwork to come too and I'll look forward to doing those as well.

Jacob,

https://www.youtube.com/@FerryboatJacob

Dear Mateys,

After listening to some marching music, I realized that I have to forget who I was before. RailwayKangaroo is gone. He got what he deserved. I am FerryboatJacob, I've got a long way to go. I have to keep striving. I have a goal to reach. This story can only end 1 way, when I become a captain.

I still have so much to learn, and so much to see even if I do have to face it alone. There is no path in the sea, relying solely on God's will as well as charts, radar, compass and the wind even though I have no sails. The fire burning deep in the blazing furnace will give me the energy to plow through the waves.

I am not a stranded lighthouse keeper; I am the first officer on a ship travelling along the seas. And the more I struggle and strive, the closer I will be to my destination. I will be anointed to being a captain and I will triumph from then on.

If I take a final firing now, then it'll all be over before it has begun. I must continue on, past whatever obstacles get in my way. I have a captainess who will lead me until then. But I must keep determined.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

I've got another vent, and I've poured my heart out on this one.

As many of you know, I started fresh on this account as a non-faceless ferry in the hopes that I could change who I once was. However, I also feared that it could be only a matter of time when all that plagued me when I was a furry would take its toll on me again.

I'm afraid it looks like that's what's about to happen. I told  Panda-Jenn that I didn't want to go back to being that bastard known as RailwayKangaroo. Like I said, I started this as an attempt to change who I was, free from thoughts of suicide and more, it's worked for the most part and I've hardly had a thought of killing myself but thoughts of punishing myself seem to be coming back now that I've brought the kangaroo version of myself in 1 drawing.

That picture of Jacob Kangaroo being a lonely lighthouse keeper I posted on DeviantArt in the link below, was meant to show that I'm truly better off alone, I don't need people who don't want me, and I can't be bothered by people I don't want which for the most part seems to be the case for someone in my position.

Sometimes I wonder if all this effort change is really worth it. Sometimes, I feel like it might help more if I just stop entirely and give up on life and everything I've worked hard on. Maybe I haven't changed as much as I thought, or as much as I wanted to. BobGrayWolf on DeviantArt and  fredvegerano were good friends but they don't really communicate with me as much as they used to.

The only individual who seems to care more than anyone else even my ex is Syos-Spaniel on DeviantArt. I should be grateful for this but...I think it's just coming out to be the same situation it usually is. He's coming out to be one of those who wants me, yet I tend to keep away from and turning to the ones who want nothing to do with me.

I also just never seem to understand how my sister is so successful at finding lovers and she doesn't even want to get married, but I do, yet I only managed to gain 1 girlfriend, one I've never met and one I could never see. I broke it off with her last year because we couldn't truly be together. I haven't found anyone else ever since. But I also know I won't make a good husband, I know this, because my adulterous addictions make me prone to infidelity. So perhaps that's for the best. Also, as Shrek once said, they judge me before they even get to know me.

With everything that happened and everything that comes to mind, I realize just how much I am better off alone. If I could move to a small island where there's nobody except me, I gladly will. Like I said, I can't bother anyone who doesn't want me and nobody whom I don't want can bother me either. It just really sounds like the best thing for me. And I do mean, the best thing. No friends, no enemies, no family, it just seems like my rightful place the more I think of it.

Jacob,

https://www.deviantart.com/ferryboa.....per-1206619926

Dear Mateys,

I have some bad news. Starting from the beginning, I got a notice on my computer saying that I was running out of disk space. So, I went to clear out any apps I don't use anymore or never used, little did I know that I ended up clearing up some things that were important in how some of my programmes worked, including I regret to say, the Epson ScanSmart which I use to run my scanner.

This means I can no longer scan any images into my computer, and this is important for how I do my artwork. If can no longer scan any of my sketches, then I can't make them into the finished picture, and I won't be able to upload them. So, until I'm able to resolve this problem, there won't be any more artwork to be posted. That I sense might take a while.

I've got a project I meant to do before I go back to the Outback Kangaroo Farm this year. I just hope I can resolve it in time.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

I've been on hiatus all of last month and most of this month but now that I've done my new reference sheet of Lulu which can been seen on DeviantArt in the link below, I feel like I'm getting my spark back.

I mentioned before that I'm redesigning all of my characters in a few slight ways and some major ways; I'll be doing reference sheets for all my characters. Furry characters will be seen without clothes so that every detail will be seen, but the non-faceless vehicles, will also get cutaway pictures so we'll see what they're like inside too, after all the animal characters ride in them.

There's also a special project with Lulu I want to do before I go back to the Outback Kangaroo Farm. Like I said, Lulu was based off a real kangaroo who lives there.

I'm still depressed that  Twisted-Studio decided we can't be friends anymore but I'm happy to say  Panda-Jenn and I are back on good terms, even if we are still far from being friends (or so I feel). Admittedly I still have some maturing to do, but I'm sure I can progress even if it seems impossible.

Jacob,

https://www.deviantart.com/ferryboa.....eet-1196901245

Dear Mateys,

I feel like I need to vent for a bit.

Recently I've been in a fight with a friend of mine and I guess he decided we were no longer friends, and he blocked me on all platforms. He had a bit a tantrum over never getting comments on his Youtube videos and I got stressed over it and senselessly asked him "why is that so important", he said it helps to grow his Youtube channel and I suppose I was like "what's the use of doing so if you act that way" I feel like  Twisted-Studio has shown his true colours.

I used to be similar to that, ranting about how nobody cared about me and all it got me was in trouble, especially with Panda-Jenn. I had to do so much to change my ways and to ensure I never abused myself again, "or others for that matter" over things I do wrong or things I should never have cared for in the first place, like sexualizing characters I should never have.

Lots has made me quit being a furry, I used to get into tummy, pregnancy and even sex fetishes, I even got into furry porn. It even caused me to say some things to others I should never have. I've worked so hard to change myself after all that. I don't want to go back to being that way again, but people still do things to make me upset, even though I came to a new start to change myself I feel like it's only a matter of time before I find a reason to punish myself again.



You know, some cultures believe that sinners must harm themselves to appease God for forgiveness but that's not appeasing God at all, that just gives him even more reason to be upset. As stated in Leviticus 19:28, you must not make any cuts to your body for dead.



I've been on an art hiatus for a long time and every time I get stressed over something I extend it. I feel like if I'm going to keep extending it then I might as well stop entirely. Although I just begun with a that new beginning I was desperately in need for. I kept having thoughts of portraying myself as a non-faceless vehicle while I was a furry and now, I know why. God was sending these thoughts to me to change myself to ensure I will not abuse or harm myself when I have sinned against my friends. It would not prevent me from adultery or stress, but it will keep me from harming myself more, it also keeps me from lusting over others and showing it online, even on private terms.

I should also talk about BobGrayWolf on DeviantArt, someone I have never been able to keep back from. Yes, I enjoy his artwork, but I also feel like I was drawn to him by God. To someone who's strength in faith is well beyond mine. He is one who has truly surrendered his life to the Lord as I intend to. For this reason, God has also sent Syos-Spaniel also on DeviantArt to me. I thank God for sending me these men to guide me through my journey and the changes I am overcoming. I'm even more grateful that they continue to lead me even when I treat them so wrongly.

I used to portray myself as a kangaroo but no longer, the kangaroo version of me is still alive but is no longer in use since animals have sex and reproduce. Vehicles are machines, and are the creation of man, but if they can be portrayed as non-faceless in shows like Thomas and Friends then perhaps that will be the direction I can go. It's not likely for objects to come to life, but they can be blessed, for the raw materials that have been melted, cut, carved, welded and shaped to make ships, cars, trains and aircraft were provided by God himself. For God created everything in the world even the materials that are used to even make idols of false gods like Zeus, Thor, Baal and Buddha.

I said before that this is no "your God" or "my God", there is only the Lord. Elijah proved that long ago when he led Isreal away from worshiping Baal who was nothing more than an idol and back to the Lord God who created the universe. Also, Elijah always followed God even when he didn't know why God told him to go there but always knew he had a reason for it.

My mother always wanted me to be a bishop, but because of my adulterous nature, I never can. King David planned to build a temple for God, but God himself came to him and told him he could plan it, but he may not build it because he was a man of war, therefore it is his son Solomon who will build it. No matter what you do, plan or desire, God has the final say in everything. I just wish Colter could be made to understand that. I know I was.

When some people turn on me or abuse me, I will continue to strive on my journey. Although I would continue to stress over those who wrong me, and despite my addictions, I am certain that God will see me through and when needed he will send others in his name to lead me to victory. Victory that I would never think to accomplish.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

Tomorrow I will going on yet another Alaska cruise. It'll be on the Royal Mail Steamer Westerdam of the Holland America Line. Granted I've done this so much it's not that exciting these days, but I do love experiencing a new ship.

I'll be gone for 8 days. I'm still on Hiatus but maybe this trip will help by providing more inspiration. I'll certainly be looking forward to this.

Jacob,

Dear Mateys,

We have a panda in need.  Panda-Jenn has lost all her food stamps and will be getting more soon but until then she needs money for food. Check out her journal in the link below, you can either commission her or donate to her on Ko-fi.

Jacob,

https://www.furaffinity.net/journal...../#cid:61021938