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On Fursonas and Sexuality
Posted 3 weeks agoHey everyone, it's been a hot minute. I do have two primary topics to discuss in this journal, but figured I'd start with a little life update.
Which is more of a "not much to update" statement. I finished and graduated from my master's degree in game design. However, still have not managed to land myself a job in the industry, or even picked up any independant work. Can't even get myself a local retail job, so I am very lucky to have family to rely on.
So, if you're wondering why it's been a long time since any art has been uploaded here... a lack of money is the primary reason.
However, on to the main topics of discussion: fursonas and sexuality. And we shall actually start with the latter topic, since I actually think it's the easier one.
Over the past few years, I've been doing a lot of introspecting on myself. For the past 15 years, I have known that I was gay. And, for the most part that is still the case. I am only attracted to guys, nothing has changed in that regard. It's just that I've realized that there is a little asterisk attached to that attraction. Over the years, and especially recently, I've noticed that I've only developed romantic or even general attraction towards people I was already friends with. There was one exception to this, but otherwise this has held true. While I can definitely look at somebody and say "yeah, they are attractive", it's almost always with an objective viewpoint, not discussing my personal attraction levels to them. But the more I know somebody, the more I find it easier to develop my own attraction to them.
By generally accepted terms, this would likely set me within the "demisexual/demiromatic" designation within the LGBTQIA+ community. And I'd say it's pretty accurate. While I still generally refer to myself as gay out of convenience, demisexual/demiromantic is probably more accurate.
Heck, in my head, I have three running lists among my friends. These are:
1) Would date in a heartbeat. There are 3 people on this list. Two of them know who they are and while they don't share the feelings we are still good friends. One does not know, but only because I know that I'm not their type, so why admit my feelings and potentially strain the relationship? I'm more than happy just having them as a friend in my life.
2) Would heavily consider dating if they were interested. There are... 5 or 6 people on this list? These are friends that I feel I am close enough that I'd be perfectly fine going out on a date with if they were interested in doing so. Haven't mentioned it to any of them because, well, see above about not wanting to strain friendships, but yeah.
3) The rest of my friends. These are basically, everyone else. Either I'm close friends with them and I just never developed an attraction to them, or they are just within my circle of friends and I haven't developed a close enough friendship/haven't known them long enough to see if I might have feelings.
Of course, these lists are just for attraction, and doesn't distinguish how close they are as friends. I have some people who are among my closest friends, but would be in the third list just cause I don't have an attraction to them.
Admittedly, this realization has made dating even more difficult than it already was. Now, on top of the whole "being gay" thing, as well as the "furry" thing, and living in small town Ontario, I now have to figure out how to tell people "Look, I think I might eventually become attracted to you, but I don't know, and we need to become friends first." It's rough.
But that's life, and you just deal with it. XD
The second topic is a bit more... difficult to discuss.
As you can figure out from my gallery, I enjoy playing around with TF/Transformation, and in the past I even had several sketchpages detailing attempts at various species.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/23902187/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27698918/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/36909818/
Some of these have even stuck around as permanent fixtures. If you follow me on any of my social media, discord, or telegram, you'd know that when winter rolls around, I bring Kingsbou the Caribou out for the season, and he usually sticks around until Easter when Kingsbun the Arctic Hare comes out for a bit until Kingsley the Red Wolf takes back over again. But ever since I joined the fandom, Kingsley, my red wolf self, has always been my core identity. No matter how much I shift species around and try out other things, Kingsley has been the core of my identity, the central axis around which I exist.
Which is why it's confused me for the past bit that there's been a desire growing in the back of my head on if that should change.
https://bsky.app/profile/kingsleywo...../3m433oh76mk2b
I talked a little bit about this on Bluesky, but for the past little bit, there's been a growing desire in the back of my head telling me that Kingsbun should be the primary Sona, not Kingsley. And I don't know how to feel about it.
When I created my fursona, wolves were my favourite animal, with red wolves being my favourite wolf. And while I still love wolves, pangolins have overtaken them as my favourite animal. And while that itself wouldn't effect my sona (after all, I'm not even remotely considering making my primary sona be a pangolin), it made me realize that perhaps Kingsley isn't as central and core as he once was.
Indeed, when it comes to core, it's more of a "Big 3" for me, at least since Kingsbou was created in 2015. It didn't take long for him to become a secondary sona for me, and when Kingsbun was created in 2017 from that first species testing page, he quickly joined in as a third. Despite all the other species testing I did in the following years, no others managed to penetrate like Bou and Bun. And since Bun, the three sonas have always coexisted, with Wolf taking a primary role, Caribou second, and Bun third.
Which is why I find the desire to promote the bun to primary weird. I figured if any of my sonas would ever replace Kingsley as the main representation, it would be Kingsbou. He's been around the second longest, and has always been used the second most often. But no. Ove the past year especially, I'vce had more desires to bring Kingsbun out to play. And I still don't quite understand why. I'm trying to think what about Kingsbun is causing these feelings, what do I get out of him that I don't get out of Kingsley?
Nothing has changed quite yet, I'm still a wolf, for now at least. Whether that changes, I don't know, we'll have to wait and see. Even if Kingsbun does become the primary sona for me, Kingsley will still be around. I don't see him dipping out of my Big 3 any time soon. But... I need to think on this and see if I can figure out where these thoughts and feelings are coming from.
If you have any thoughts/question/concerns about the fursona stuff, I fully welcome hearing it. I have some friends who are all for me changing the sona to bun. They have always vibed more with me in bun or bou than with the wolf form, thinking it doesn't fit me as well. Likewise, I have some friends who find it hard to see me as anything other than the wolf. But I'm always curious to hear other people's opinions.
And likewise, if you're among my friend group and are curious as to which of the 3 lists you belong to from the sexuality section, all you have to do is ask.
Until next time, take care everyone, and thank you for listening to me ramble for a while.
Which is more of a "not much to update" statement. I finished and graduated from my master's degree in game design. However, still have not managed to land myself a job in the industry, or even picked up any independant work. Can't even get myself a local retail job, so I am very lucky to have family to rely on.
So, if you're wondering why it's been a long time since any art has been uploaded here... a lack of money is the primary reason.
However, on to the main topics of discussion: fursonas and sexuality. And we shall actually start with the latter topic, since I actually think it's the easier one.
Over the past few years, I've been doing a lot of introspecting on myself. For the past 15 years, I have known that I was gay. And, for the most part that is still the case. I am only attracted to guys, nothing has changed in that regard. It's just that I've realized that there is a little asterisk attached to that attraction. Over the years, and especially recently, I've noticed that I've only developed romantic or even general attraction towards people I was already friends with. There was one exception to this, but otherwise this has held true. While I can definitely look at somebody and say "yeah, they are attractive", it's almost always with an objective viewpoint, not discussing my personal attraction levels to them. But the more I know somebody, the more I find it easier to develop my own attraction to them.
By generally accepted terms, this would likely set me within the "demisexual/demiromatic" designation within the LGBTQIA+ community. And I'd say it's pretty accurate. While I still generally refer to myself as gay out of convenience, demisexual/demiromantic is probably more accurate.
Heck, in my head, I have three running lists among my friends. These are:
1) Would date in a heartbeat. There are 3 people on this list. Two of them know who they are and while they don't share the feelings we are still good friends. One does not know, but only because I know that I'm not their type, so why admit my feelings and potentially strain the relationship? I'm more than happy just having them as a friend in my life.
2) Would heavily consider dating if they were interested. There are... 5 or 6 people on this list? These are friends that I feel I am close enough that I'd be perfectly fine going out on a date with if they were interested in doing so. Haven't mentioned it to any of them because, well, see above about not wanting to strain friendships, but yeah.
3) The rest of my friends. These are basically, everyone else. Either I'm close friends with them and I just never developed an attraction to them, or they are just within my circle of friends and I haven't developed a close enough friendship/haven't known them long enough to see if I might have feelings.
Of course, these lists are just for attraction, and doesn't distinguish how close they are as friends. I have some people who are among my closest friends, but would be in the third list just cause I don't have an attraction to them.
Admittedly, this realization has made dating even more difficult than it already was. Now, on top of the whole "being gay" thing, as well as the "furry" thing, and living in small town Ontario, I now have to figure out how to tell people "Look, I think I might eventually become attracted to you, but I don't know, and we need to become friends first." It's rough.
But that's life, and you just deal with it. XD
The second topic is a bit more... difficult to discuss.
As you can figure out from my gallery, I enjoy playing around with TF/Transformation, and in the past I even had several sketchpages detailing attempts at various species.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/23902187/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/27698918/
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/36909818/
Some of these have even stuck around as permanent fixtures. If you follow me on any of my social media, discord, or telegram, you'd know that when winter rolls around, I bring Kingsbou the Caribou out for the season, and he usually sticks around until Easter when Kingsbun the Arctic Hare comes out for a bit until Kingsley the Red Wolf takes back over again. But ever since I joined the fandom, Kingsley, my red wolf self, has always been my core identity. No matter how much I shift species around and try out other things, Kingsley has been the core of my identity, the central axis around which I exist.
Which is why it's confused me for the past bit that there's been a desire growing in the back of my head on if that should change.
https://bsky.app/profile/kingsleywo...../3m433oh76mk2b
I talked a little bit about this on Bluesky, but for the past little bit, there's been a growing desire in the back of my head telling me that Kingsbun should be the primary Sona, not Kingsley. And I don't know how to feel about it.
When I created my fursona, wolves were my favourite animal, with red wolves being my favourite wolf. And while I still love wolves, pangolins have overtaken them as my favourite animal. And while that itself wouldn't effect my sona (after all, I'm not even remotely considering making my primary sona be a pangolin), it made me realize that perhaps Kingsley isn't as central and core as he once was.
Indeed, when it comes to core, it's more of a "Big 3" for me, at least since Kingsbou was created in 2015. It didn't take long for him to become a secondary sona for me, and when Kingsbun was created in 2017 from that first species testing page, he quickly joined in as a third. Despite all the other species testing I did in the following years, no others managed to penetrate like Bou and Bun. And since Bun, the three sonas have always coexisted, with Wolf taking a primary role, Caribou second, and Bun third.
Which is why I find the desire to promote the bun to primary weird. I figured if any of my sonas would ever replace Kingsley as the main representation, it would be Kingsbou. He's been around the second longest, and has always been used the second most often. But no. Ove the past year especially, I'vce had more desires to bring Kingsbun out to play. And I still don't quite understand why. I'm trying to think what about Kingsbun is causing these feelings, what do I get out of him that I don't get out of Kingsley?
Nothing has changed quite yet, I'm still a wolf, for now at least. Whether that changes, I don't know, we'll have to wait and see. Even if Kingsbun does become the primary sona for me, Kingsley will still be around. I don't see him dipping out of my Big 3 any time soon. But... I need to think on this and see if I can figure out where these thoughts and feelings are coming from.
If you have any thoughts/question/concerns about the fursona stuff, I fully welcome hearing it. I have some friends who are all for me changing the sona to bun. They have always vibed more with me in bun or bou than with the wolf form, thinking it doesn't fit me as well. Likewise, I have some friends who find it hard to see me as anything other than the wolf. But I'm always curious to hear other people's opinions.
And likewise, if you're among my friend group and are curious as to which of the 3 lists you belong to from the sexuality section, all you have to do is ask.
Until next time, take care everyone, and thank you for listening to me ramble for a while.
Two more years later
Posted 2 years agoWow, I am really bad about keeping y'all updated with my life, aren't I? 2016-2018-2022-2024, my last 4 journals.
Well, guess I'll dive right in.
In 2022, I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in Game Design. I was super excited, started applying for every job I was qualified for.
200 applications, 2 interviews later, no jobs. Unfortunately.
So, I did what I have been known to do, I opted to go back to school. I utilized my English heritage and got myself a visa to the UK, and I moved to England to work on getting my Master's Degree in Game Design, which is what I'm doing right now.
Beyond that, honestly, not much to update life-wise. Working towards my career goals, upgrading my skills.
Y'all probably also noticed the art spam today, realized I had a bunch of pieces I never uploaded. So, doing that now, still got a few more to go.
Well, it's been a pleasure, and hopefully my next life update will come in less than another two years. XD
Well, guess I'll dive right in.
In 2022, I graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in Game Design. I was super excited, started applying for every job I was qualified for.
200 applications, 2 interviews later, no jobs. Unfortunately.
So, I did what I have been known to do, I opted to go back to school. I utilized my English heritage and got myself a visa to the UK, and I moved to England to work on getting my Master's Degree in Game Design, which is what I'm doing right now.
Beyond that, honestly, not much to update life-wise. Working towards my career goals, upgrading my skills.
Y'all probably also noticed the art spam today, realized I had a bunch of pieces I never uploaded. So, doing that now, still got a few more to go.
Well, it's been a pleasure, and hopefully my next life update will come in less than another two years. XD
Twitch Streaming and 4 year life update
Posted 3 years agoHey everyone!
It's been a while, I know. Last journal post here was... wow, 2018, huh? Back before I actually started my time in Game Design. It has been a.... rough 4 years. Game Design has kept be busier than I expected, and while I had a job for a while, ever since the pandemic I haven't had an income (mostly) due to, well, having health issues that put me at high risk. Thankfully I saved up a lot in advance, so I've managed to survive off that (and help from the Canadian government for the period they offered it). But it's left me with not a lot of disposable income for art and the like, and the school work has kept me busy enough that I haven't had too much time for writing stories.
But, I mean, a lot of good stuff has happened too! I did manage to land an actual industry internship over last summer, working with a small studio that I gelled well with. Unfortunately school meant I couldn't stay on there, but I take pride in knowing that they had to hire TWO people to replace me with. I've done really well in school, I have a 3.83 GPA going into this final semester, and my capstone game is coming along well!
Soon I'll be graduating and working had to get that first job of mine in the industry proper. That's going to be hard. Breaking into the industry is the hardest, once you're in swapping jobs is easier. So I'll need a lot of luck in the coming months that I can get that first placement.
But that's enough of the school stuff. Let's talk about the first topic of the journal title. Twitch streams! For the past year and few months, I've been streaming. It's something I'd been wanting to do for a while. Started New Years Eve 2020, had my 1 year anniversary stream this past NYE, and I've been streaming more regularly since. Had a few weeks recently that I haven't streamed due to school, but jumping back into it again today.
So, yeah, if you are free and want to come join me, I'll be streaming today at 4:30 PM EST at My Twitch Page. We'll be playing some Fuga: Melodies of Steel. There should also be a submission post that goes up when I am live, featuring some art I got quite a while back for my streams! You all will finally start getting to see it.
Either way, good to talk to you all again, and hopefully i will have new stories for you all soon.
It's been a while, I know. Last journal post here was... wow, 2018, huh? Back before I actually started my time in Game Design. It has been a.... rough 4 years. Game Design has kept be busier than I expected, and while I had a job for a while, ever since the pandemic I haven't had an income (mostly) due to, well, having health issues that put me at high risk. Thankfully I saved up a lot in advance, so I've managed to survive off that (and help from the Canadian government for the period they offered it). But it's left me with not a lot of disposable income for art and the like, and the school work has kept me busy enough that I haven't had too much time for writing stories.
But, I mean, a lot of good stuff has happened too! I did manage to land an actual industry internship over last summer, working with a small studio that I gelled well with. Unfortunately school meant I couldn't stay on there, but I take pride in knowing that they had to hire TWO people to replace me with. I've done really well in school, I have a 3.83 GPA going into this final semester, and my capstone game is coming along well!
Soon I'll be graduating and working had to get that first job of mine in the industry proper. That's going to be hard. Breaking into the industry is the hardest, once you're in swapping jobs is easier. So I'll need a lot of luck in the coming months that I can get that first placement.
But that's enough of the school stuff. Let's talk about the first topic of the journal title. Twitch streams! For the past year and few months, I've been streaming. It's something I'd been wanting to do for a while. Started New Years Eve 2020, had my 1 year anniversary stream this past NYE, and I've been streaming more regularly since. Had a few weeks recently that I haven't streamed due to school, but jumping back into it again today.
So, yeah, if you are free and want to come join me, I'll be streaming today at 4:30 PM EST at My Twitch Page. We'll be playing some Fuga: Melodies of Steel. There should also be a submission post that goes up when I am live, featuring some art I got quite a while back for my streams! You all will finally start getting to see it.
Either way, good to talk to you all again, and hopefully i will have new stories for you all soon.
Twenty-Five, and moving forwards
Posted 7 years agoSo another year down, another June 17th lived through. And with it, I turn 25, a quarter of a century.
The last year has been rough, but hopefully things will begin improving fairly soon.
So, general life update time. In june of 2016, I graduated from university with a double major in biology and indigenous studies. Unsurprisingly, after moving home to a small town, I couldn't find any jobs in my industry, not in the slightest. I spent half a year searching, with the help of a recruiter, for a job, being extremely unsuccessful even with regular retail positions, until I managed to land a job at a convenience store in December of 2016.
I spent a year and a half at that store, and it was torture. Long story short: crappy boss, crappy coworkers, and crappy customers. But hey, what else is new?
During the first year of working there, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. I missed being creative, and working on stuff for people to enjoy. During that year, I realized I wanted to get back into game creation, as was my initial goal in high school, before I got bullied out of it. So, I got my butt in gear, worked on some stuff for a portfolio, and applied to Sheridan College in Oakville, Ontario.
I got in. Starting in September, I'll be attending Sheridan College in their 4 year undergraduate Game Design program. The course is really highly rated, despite only being around for 5 years so far, and even includes a mandatory summer co-op program at actual game studios (two big ones that actually take part every year are Ubisoft and Bioware, alongside many indie companies). I'm seriously looking forward to the program. Some highlights that I got from when I attended the school's open house:
1) The mandatory summer co-op program after the third year. That's both work experience and possible references/people who might be able to help with a job after the degree is over.
2) Twice a year, once every semester either before or after the reading week, they do a week long game jam with random teams. No game design classes, just random teams building small games from scratch. I can't freaking wait to participate!
3) The entire 4th year is a self-assembled group building a working game entirely from the ground up to completion.
So, needless to say, it's going to be tough as hell, but I'm going to work my ass off, and make some games.
I've currently moved to Oakville and am beginning my job hunt for the summer. I mean, I have enough money put aside for rent until student loans come in, but I'd rather rely on those loans as little as possible, which means getting a job to save up money. So wish me luck on that front.
Though if anybody wants some short story commissions, more than willing to take a few on. Just shoot me a message!
In the meantime, though, I'll try to get more stuff finished to post on here, and keep you guys more in the loop on what's going on with me in the future.
Take care, everybody!
~Kingsley
The last year has been rough, but hopefully things will begin improving fairly soon.
So, general life update time. In june of 2016, I graduated from university with a double major in biology and indigenous studies. Unsurprisingly, after moving home to a small town, I couldn't find any jobs in my industry, not in the slightest. I spent half a year searching, with the help of a recruiter, for a job, being extremely unsuccessful even with regular retail positions, until I managed to land a job at a convenience store in December of 2016.
I spent a year and a half at that store, and it was torture. Long story short: crappy boss, crappy coworkers, and crappy customers. But hey, what else is new?
During the first year of working there, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to do with my life. I missed being creative, and working on stuff for people to enjoy. During that year, I realized I wanted to get back into game creation, as was my initial goal in high school, before I got bullied out of it. So, I got my butt in gear, worked on some stuff for a portfolio, and applied to Sheridan College in Oakville, Ontario.
I got in. Starting in September, I'll be attending Sheridan College in their 4 year undergraduate Game Design program. The course is really highly rated, despite only being around for 5 years so far, and even includes a mandatory summer co-op program at actual game studios (two big ones that actually take part every year are Ubisoft and Bioware, alongside many indie companies). I'm seriously looking forward to the program. Some highlights that I got from when I attended the school's open house:
1) The mandatory summer co-op program after the third year. That's both work experience and possible references/people who might be able to help with a job after the degree is over.
2) Twice a year, once every semester either before or after the reading week, they do a week long game jam with random teams. No game design classes, just random teams building small games from scratch. I can't freaking wait to participate!
3) The entire 4th year is a self-assembled group building a working game entirely from the ground up to completion.
So, needless to say, it's going to be tough as hell, but I'm going to work my ass off, and make some games.
I've currently moved to Oakville and am beginning my job hunt for the summer. I mean, I have enough money put aside for rent until student loans come in, but I'd rather rely on those loans as little as possible, which means getting a job to save up money. So wish me luck on that front.
Though if anybody wants some short story commissions, more than willing to take a few on. Just shoot me a message!
In the meantime, though, I'll try to get more stuff finished to post on here, and keep you guys more in the loop on what's going on with me in the future.
Take care, everybody!
~Kingsley
Life update and moving forwards (sorta?)
Posted 9 years agoSo, this journal is going to come to you in two parts. The first part will be a general life update on what has been going on with me recently in the past little bit. And the second, well.... it's more of a rambly, kinda whiny introspective journey through my life and what's ahead of me.
Part 1: Life Update
As some of you may know (my twitter/FBA friends), I recently graduated from university! I graduated with a Bachelor's of Science, with a double major in Biology and Indigenous Studies (study of Native Americans, though the course mostly focused on general overviews of many and more detailed information about the Ojibwe, since they are the group local to the school, and the heritage of most of the professors) from Laurentian University.
I was among the first few to graduate in the ceremony, so I had to sit there through the rest of the boring ceremony for the remainder of it. I was just happy to get it done and over with and have my degree. Went out for lunch with my bro (who also graduated), my mum, dad, nan, and sister, and then drove all the way back home.
Otherwise, life has been pretty..... boring and ordinary. Still looking for a job. Still unsuccessful. Still in this boring little tiny town with very few jobs and lots of people looking for them. And it doesn't help that I kinda burnt my bridges with the only place in town that is consistently hiring (soooooo much turnover due to horrible management, which is why I quit. LONG story.)
And.... that kinda leads into part 2. So, warning right now: if you don't want to read a pretty whiny, rambling thing, feel free to skip the rest of this journal.
Part 2: Moving Forwards?
So, every so often I kinda go through random nights where I can't stop thinking about everything I would have loved to do in life. All my hobbies, all my interests, etc, stuff that has never panned out. I ended up venting to a friend about it all, but it still kinda stuck with me this time, so I kinda felt like just putting it all out there, just venting to the world, so to say.
In short, it kinda comes down to the fact that when I look back on it, all my interests, all the things I would have loved to do with my life.... I either gave up on them, or realized that I would never be able to do them. So... lets just go through them in order, shall we?
The other night's introspection was actually kinda brought on by something, though I didn't really notice it at the time. An acquaintance had done some voice work for Team Four Star in DBZ Abridged a while back, and the episode came on at random late in the evening, and I guess it kinda got me thinking, so let's start there.
Voice acting. As a kid, I was in love with the concept. I actually used to really like my voice. It was a fair bit higher, and I actually used to have a pretty decent singing voice, being one of the people that got solos and such in my elementary school's choir. I had a good range from high to low.
And then I hit puberty.
My range shrank dramatically. And when I started to hear my voice recorded again, I hated it. It's just this super plain, often kinda scratchy voice. I can't pitch my voice up at all without cracking, and trying to shift my voice deeper just sounds SUPER forced. If you want to hear what I mean, just look here: (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13927108/). I seriously don't know why I haven't deleted that, I hate it so much. But, yeah, I can't do jack shit with my voice, can't change it at all, which is kinda a skill needed for good voice acting.
I've had a few people say things like that my voice is cute, or that there are quite a few voice actors who make their living off of just one voice, but... I mean, come on. My voice is kinda crap. I can't think of a single character or situation where my voice really fits the bill.
And even if I COULD do anything with my voice? I wouldn't even bloody know where to begin, how to get started. Not to mention the fact that voice over work is kinda a closely knit field that is super hard to break into.
And as ANOTHER field that's super hard to break into: youtubing. I'd wanted to do it for years. But.... I just can't. I get in front of a camera and I just freeze up. Trying to do live commentary over a game? Nope. Turns out I can't bloody think quickly at ALL, so I end up sitting in silence as I game. Recording and trying to do a script over it? Nope, can't write a bloody script that's entertaining at all. And then a friend gets into it, and he's awesome. He's a natural in front of the camera, is great at thinking on his feet, a natural performer. And I know he did theatre all through school, I know he has the background in it, but that doesn't make it any less jealousy-inducing, even though I am seriously happy for him and his ability to do it.
And writing. Well, you've all seen my writing on here. My writing is, in the end, kinda mediocre. My best skill is in character creation, and even then. I am horrible at developing plot lines. If I'm even able to come up with one it is so filled with tropes and stereotypes, or so derivative that it's just kinda pointless. Let alone trying to build a world. I've tried, I just.... can't. As much as I'd love to write a novel some day, I'm pretty sure that I'd be incapable of it, with my inability to think up plots or worlds.
And, well my art. I'd LOVE to make a living off my art. I took art ALL through high school. But only as an elective. I was SOOOOOOO certain that I was going to go into video game design for that first year, and then into Zoology for the next three years. And I have reasons to believe why i thought that (bullying all through elementary and high school made me believe I hated people and just wanted to work with animals. Turns out, I just have a lot of built up anger and social anxiety, and I actually do love people, just not under all circumstances, and working without people would be super lonely). But in the end, I treated art, a thing I loved, as a hobby. And, yeah, I did manage to do some commissions recently. But, really, they aren't exactly that good, and all came from good friends just wanting to support me.
Actually making a living off my art is years off, at the very least, if ever. And in the meantime..... well... let's just keep going.
Tying back into youtube and cameras, I can't bloody act. I love the feeling of the theatre. I enjoy the concept of acting, of getting into a role that I am not, etc. However.... I can't memorize. I never have been able to. No matter how many times I sit down and read a script, in my head or out loud, or even while blocking it out.... it never sticks. There's a reason why in the last two local theatre things I did in high school, I ended up with either off-stage voice roles, or roles with no lines.
I can't play music. I mean, well, I can, but not in any meaningful way. I know HOW to play the piano. I can read the sheet music, and I know the keys, but I lack the ability to do both at once. If I'm reading the sheet music, I lose track of my fingers, and if I'm looking at my fingers, i forget the upcoming notes.
And there's so many other things that I LOVE doing, but don't have the capability to do in any meaningful way. I guess, in the end, I'm a bit of a jack of all trades. And growing up, I had always been told that was a good thing, it let you have options, to adapt. But.... that's not true anymore. Nowadays, unless you have lots of skill in one or two things, you just can't compete into the fields in a way to make an income. There are only so many opportunities, and yet an ever growing crowd of people fighting for them. By being 'okay' in everything, I don't have the skills to actually compete for anything.
And lets not even get started on my complicated feelings in regards to my love life (or lack thereof).
Which leaves me just feeling.... a bit lost. Like, what am I going to bloody do with my life? Am I going to end up stuck in this tiny ass town, just always either looking for work, or living off of, like, a minimum wage retail job for the rest of my life? I look at all the 50, 60 year old people in my town, them having been working in these stores for 20, 30 years, and barely making more than minimum wage. Working 40-50 hour weeks at these places making like $13/hour, and mostly content with it because it's all they've ever done, and what else are they going to do in a small town like Dunnville?
I look at them and all I can think is that, most likely, I'm going to end up like them, having lived in this small town my entire life, working a retail job that I hate, and doing nothing of significance.
And really, I don't know what to do about that. I just really don't know.
If you read this far, thank you. I really do appreciate you taking the time to read my rambling rant about my life. I'm sorry that you forced yourself through that.
Part 1: Life Update
As some of you may know (my twitter/FBA friends), I recently graduated from university! I graduated with a Bachelor's of Science, with a double major in Biology and Indigenous Studies (study of Native Americans, though the course mostly focused on general overviews of many and more detailed information about the Ojibwe, since they are the group local to the school, and the heritage of most of the professors) from Laurentian University.
I was among the first few to graduate in the ceremony, so I had to sit there through the rest of the boring ceremony for the remainder of it. I was just happy to get it done and over with and have my degree. Went out for lunch with my bro (who also graduated), my mum, dad, nan, and sister, and then drove all the way back home.
Otherwise, life has been pretty..... boring and ordinary. Still looking for a job. Still unsuccessful. Still in this boring little tiny town with very few jobs and lots of people looking for them. And it doesn't help that I kinda burnt my bridges with the only place in town that is consistently hiring (soooooo much turnover due to horrible management, which is why I quit. LONG story.)
And.... that kinda leads into part 2. So, warning right now: if you don't want to read a pretty whiny, rambling thing, feel free to skip the rest of this journal.
Part 2: Moving Forwards?
So, every so often I kinda go through random nights where I can't stop thinking about everything I would have loved to do in life. All my hobbies, all my interests, etc, stuff that has never panned out. I ended up venting to a friend about it all, but it still kinda stuck with me this time, so I kinda felt like just putting it all out there, just venting to the world, so to say.
In short, it kinda comes down to the fact that when I look back on it, all my interests, all the things I would have loved to do with my life.... I either gave up on them, or realized that I would never be able to do them. So... lets just go through them in order, shall we?
The other night's introspection was actually kinda brought on by something, though I didn't really notice it at the time. An acquaintance had done some voice work for Team Four Star in DBZ Abridged a while back, and the episode came on at random late in the evening, and I guess it kinda got me thinking, so let's start there.
Voice acting. As a kid, I was in love with the concept. I actually used to really like my voice. It was a fair bit higher, and I actually used to have a pretty decent singing voice, being one of the people that got solos and such in my elementary school's choir. I had a good range from high to low.
And then I hit puberty.
My range shrank dramatically. And when I started to hear my voice recorded again, I hated it. It's just this super plain, often kinda scratchy voice. I can't pitch my voice up at all without cracking, and trying to shift my voice deeper just sounds SUPER forced. If you want to hear what I mean, just look here: (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13927108/). I seriously don't know why I haven't deleted that, I hate it so much. But, yeah, I can't do jack shit with my voice, can't change it at all, which is kinda a skill needed for good voice acting.
I've had a few people say things like that my voice is cute, or that there are quite a few voice actors who make their living off of just one voice, but... I mean, come on. My voice is kinda crap. I can't think of a single character or situation where my voice really fits the bill.
And even if I COULD do anything with my voice? I wouldn't even bloody know where to begin, how to get started. Not to mention the fact that voice over work is kinda a closely knit field that is super hard to break into.
And as ANOTHER field that's super hard to break into: youtubing. I'd wanted to do it for years. But.... I just can't. I get in front of a camera and I just freeze up. Trying to do live commentary over a game? Nope. Turns out I can't bloody think quickly at ALL, so I end up sitting in silence as I game. Recording and trying to do a script over it? Nope, can't write a bloody script that's entertaining at all. And then a friend gets into it, and he's awesome. He's a natural in front of the camera, is great at thinking on his feet, a natural performer. And I know he did theatre all through school, I know he has the background in it, but that doesn't make it any less jealousy-inducing, even though I am seriously happy for him and his ability to do it.
And writing. Well, you've all seen my writing on here. My writing is, in the end, kinda mediocre. My best skill is in character creation, and even then. I am horrible at developing plot lines. If I'm even able to come up with one it is so filled with tropes and stereotypes, or so derivative that it's just kinda pointless. Let alone trying to build a world. I've tried, I just.... can't. As much as I'd love to write a novel some day, I'm pretty sure that I'd be incapable of it, with my inability to think up plots or worlds.
And, well my art. I'd LOVE to make a living off my art. I took art ALL through high school. But only as an elective. I was SOOOOOOO certain that I was going to go into video game design for that first year, and then into Zoology for the next three years. And I have reasons to believe why i thought that (bullying all through elementary and high school made me believe I hated people and just wanted to work with animals. Turns out, I just have a lot of built up anger and social anxiety, and I actually do love people, just not under all circumstances, and working without people would be super lonely). But in the end, I treated art, a thing I loved, as a hobby. And, yeah, I did manage to do some commissions recently. But, really, they aren't exactly that good, and all came from good friends just wanting to support me.
Actually making a living off my art is years off, at the very least, if ever. And in the meantime..... well... let's just keep going.
Tying back into youtube and cameras, I can't bloody act. I love the feeling of the theatre. I enjoy the concept of acting, of getting into a role that I am not, etc. However.... I can't memorize. I never have been able to. No matter how many times I sit down and read a script, in my head or out loud, or even while blocking it out.... it never sticks. There's a reason why in the last two local theatre things I did in high school, I ended up with either off-stage voice roles, or roles with no lines.
I can't play music. I mean, well, I can, but not in any meaningful way. I know HOW to play the piano. I can read the sheet music, and I know the keys, but I lack the ability to do both at once. If I'm reading the sheet music, I lose track of my fingers, and if I'm looking at my fingers, i forget the upcoming notes.
And there's so many other things that I LOVE doing, but don't have the capability to do in any meaningful way. I guess, in the end, I'm a bit of a jack of all trades. And growing up, I had always been told that was a good thing, it let you have options, to adapt. But.... that's not true anymore. Nowadays, unless you have lots of skill in one or two things, you just can't compete into the fields in a way to make an income. There are only so many opportunities, and yet an ever growing crowd of people fighting for them. By being 'okay' in everything, I don't have the skills to actually compete for anything.
And lets not even get started on my complicated feelings in regards to my love life (or lack thereof).
Which leaves me just feeling.... a bit lost. Like, what am I going to bloody do with my life? Am I going to end up stuck in this tiny ass town, just always either looking for work, or living off of, like, a minimum wage retail job for the rest of my life? I look at all the 50, 60 year old people in my town, them having been working in these stores for 20, 30 years, and barely making more than minimum wage. Working 40-50 hour weeks at these places making like $13/hour, and mostly content with it because it's all they've ever done, and what else are they going to do in a small town like Dunnville?
I look at them and all I can think is that, most likely, I'm going to end up like them, having lived in this small town my entire life, working a retail job that I hate, and doing nothing of significance.
And really, I don't know what to do about that. I just really don't know.
If you read this far, thank you. I really do appreciate you taking the time to read my rambling rant about my life. I'm sorry that you forced yourself through that.
Anthro New Englad Post-Con Recap
Posted 10 years agoSo, I got home yesterday in the very early AM from my second ever furry convention, Anthro New England. And, well, wow. It was a surprisingly great convention, and I have a number of thoughts about it.
The con itself was excellent, and I was so happy to meet up with everybody I did. The con itself did seem a bit disorganized at time, but, it IS a con only in its second year, it is still a learning and growing process. My only real problem with the con was the location. I mean, the hotel worked, but dear freaking lord there is NO place to get food unless you go for like a half an hour walk or buy the overpriced food in the hotel.
So, I arrived on Wednesday. I will be eternally grateful that Wendingo let me stay at his place for the duration of the con. After a long, long day (eg: 3 PM the previous day I got up), I arrived in Boston at around 11:30 AM.... and proceeded to be toured around Boston until 6 PM. A tour that included a Paul Ravere statue that was actually Washington, a trip to the gift shop inside the basketball/I forget what sport stadium, and then the local getting us lost on our way to a pastry shop whose name I recall. Well, at least I got my first canoli, and it was delicious.
Thursday, I met up with a non-furry friend, and then hung out with everybody from the FBA. It was a nice little house party. I also got to meet Pac through a random run-in at the hotel. It was a great, if short, first meeting.
Friday started late, but it ended up being a good day. Once I actually got to the con, spent a fair bit of the day hanging out with Pac and Zach at Pac's table, and ended the day with a nice party in JW's room.
Saturday.... Saturday was busy. We had our excellent FBA panel at the con, and Wendingo, Mad World, Paul, and Betsie did a nice job. We had a nail-biter of a CSL broadcast afterwords, and we even got Zach back into the broadcasting chair. That was something I didn't know if I would see again, and it was a sight that made me happy.
Sunday, well, Sunday was an experience. I slept in a bit, and woke up late to see Pac's husband come online, asking if I'd be willing to go meet him later that day. As you can learn from Pac's journal, he isn't a big fan of costumes, so I didn't think I'd get the chance to meet him, despite wanting to. But, in the end, I did. I sat around and helped Pac out at her table for a few hours after Zach's departure the previous night, and then I helped her pack all her stuff up and we went to visit her husband. I won't deny, it was awkward at first, I didn't know if he'd want me to stick around. But in the end, I sat down, we chatted for a few hours (some of which also included the lovely Stigmata), and then we had to part ways.
My trip home on Monday was.... ugh. Southwest cancelled my flight into Baltimore, despite all their other flights going into Baltimore still running, so something must have happened to my plane wherever it was coming from. I had to rebook on a different flight, turning a 4 hour trip from Boston to Buffalo into an 8 hour one. I was originally supposed to leave a bit before 6 and get home around midnight after crossing back into Canada. Instead, I left around 4, and got home around 3 AM.
In the end, I am thankful to everybody who made this con absolutely amazing. Wendingo, Althea, Paul, Betsie, Stevie, Mad, JW, Gabe, Kim, C-Cat, Kinto, Rain, Rourkie, Sheppymomma, Logarth, Pac, Zach, and yes, even you Richard, even though I know you won't see this. It was absolutely amazing seeing all of you, for varying lengths of time, some for the first time and some for the second. I would see you all again in a heartbeat.
The one downside of this con: I knew going in that money was going to be tight, which is especially why i am super grateful to Wen and Althea for sharing their home. But dear lord the dollar screwed me over. I forgot JUST how bad it was when I did my end of con purchasing.... and I have so little money left in the bank now. As in, like, double-digits. I'm gonna have to kick the "try to find a damned job in small ass freaking town" plan into overdrive. In the meantime, I DO still have story commissions open for anybody who may be interested.
Thank again, everybody who was there, for such an amazing con. If I forgot your name, I sincerely apologize, I have the worse memory in the world.
The con itself was excellent, and I was so happy to meet up with everybody I did. The con itself did seem a bit disorganized at time, but, it IS a con only in its second year, it is still a learning and growing process. My only real problem with the con was the location. I mean, the hotel worked, but dear freaking lord there is NO place to get food unless you go for like a half an hour walk or buy the overpriced food in the hotel.
So, I arrived on Wednesday. I will be eternally grateful that Wendingo let me stay at his place for the duration of the con. After a long, long day (eg: 3 PM the previous day I got up), I arrived in Boston at around 11:30 AM.... and proceeded to be toured around Boston until 6 PM. A tour that included a Paul Ravere statue that was actually Washington, a trip to the gift shop inside the basketball/I forget what sport stadium, and then the local getting us lost on our way to a pastry shop whose name I recall. Well, at least I got my first canoli, and it was delicious.
Thursday, I met up with a non-furry friend, and then hung out with everybody from the FBA. It was a nice little house party. I also got to meet Pac through a random run-in at the hotel. It was a great, if short, first meeting.
Friday started late, but it ended up being a good day. Once I actually got to the con, spent a fair bit of the day hanging out with Pac and Zach at Pac's table, and ended the day with a nice party in JW's room.
Saturday.... Saturday was busy. We had our excellent FBA panel at the con, and Wendingo, Mad World, Paul, and Betsie did a nice job. We had a nail-biter of a CSL broadcast afterwords, and we even got Zach back into the broadcasting chair. That was something I didn't know if I would see again, and it was a sight that made me happy.
Sunday, well, Sunday was an experience. I slept in a bit, and woke up late to see Pac's husband come online, asking if I'd be willing to go meet him later that day. As you can learn from Pac's journal, he isn't a big fan of costumes, so I didn't think I'd get the chance to meet him, despite wanting to. But, in the end, I did. I sat around and helped Pac out at her table for a few hours after Zach's departure the previous night, and then I helped her pack all her stuff up and we went to visit her husband. I won't deny, it was awkward at first, I didn't know if he'd want me to stick around. But in the end, I sat down, we chatted for a few hours (some of which also included the lovely Stigmata), and then we had to part ways.
My trip home on Monday was.... ugh. Southwest cancelled my flight into Baltimore, despite all their other flights going into Baltimore still running, so something must have happened to my plane wherever it was coming from. I had to rebook on a different flight, turning a 4 hour trip from Boston to Buffalo into an 8 hour one. I was originally supposed to leave a bit before 6 and get home around midnight after crossing back into Canada. Instead, I left around 4, and got home around 3 AM.
In the end, I am thankful to everybody who made this con absolutely amazing. Wendingo, Althea, Paul, Betsie, Stevie, Mad, JW, Gabe, Kim, C-Cat, Kinto, Rain, Rourkie, Sheppymomma, Logarth, Pac, Zach, and yes, even you Richard, even though I know you won't see this. It was absolutely amazing seeing all of you, for varying lengths of time, some for the first time and some for the second. I would see you all again in a heartbeat.
The one downside of this con: I knew going in that money was going to be tight, which is especially why i am super grateful to Wen and Althea for sharing their home. But dear lord the dollar screwed me over. I forgot JUST how bad it was when I did my end of con purchasing.... and I have so little money left in the bank now. As in, like, double-digits. I'm gonna have to kick the "try to find a damned job in small ass freaking town" plan into overdrive. In the meantime, I DO still have story commissions open for anybody who may be interested.
Thank again, everybody who was there, for such an amazing con. If I forgot your name, I sincerely apologize, I have the worse memory in the world.
Semi-emerency story commissions
Posted 10 years agoEDIT: The phone situation has now been taken care of. I am still, however, open for commissions, so I shall leave this journal up.
So with holidays coming up and Anthro New England on my calendar, my finances are pretty tight, especially with my continued failure at finding a job in my small hometown.
Which, of course, meant that my phone should decide that it was the perfect time to completely die. Out of the blue, the device has decided to completely stop charging. It's not the cords, they still work, so it seems the charging port is busted. And so, since that phone is my lifeline (it's my schedule, alarm clock, etc) it's looking like it's time to replace it. Which is a bit hard with the current finances.
And so, despite getting no biters in the past, it's time to send out another call for anybody interested in story commissions.
If you'd like an example of my previous commission work, you can find it here. For other non-commission work, please see.... pretty much the rest of my gallery.
Pricing any payment are both flexible. You can decide how much you want to pay, or pay after based on how much you think the completed piece is worth.
If you're interested, leave a comment or drop me a note with an idea or theme or plot you'd like me to take on and I shall let you know! Stories can be with human or furry characters or anything inbetween! I am open for both PG and NSFW commissions, though I will restrict the NSFW commissions to male characters, unfortunately. I am not confident in my ability to write female characters in NSFW situations.
I make no guarantees on story length, I will write as much as I need so that the story covers the ideas and feels complete.
Thanks for reading, and if you're not interested, but still would like to help out, could always use a signal boost!
Thanks again,
Kingsley.
So with holidays coming up and Anthro New England on my calendar, my finances are pretty tight, especially with my continued failure at finding a job in my small hometown.
Which, of course, meant that my phone should decide that it was the perfect time to completely die. Out of the blue, the device has decided to completely stop charging. It's not the cords, they still work, so it seems the charging port is busted. And so, since that phone is my lifeline (it's my schedule, alarm clock, etc) it's looking like it's time to replace it. Which is a bit hard with the current finances.
And so, despite getting no biters in the past, it's time to send out another call for anybody interested in story commissions.
If you'd like an example of my previous commission work, you can find it here. For other non-commission work, please see.... pretty much the rest of my gallery.
Pricing any payment are both flexible. You can decide how much you want to pay, or pay after based on how much you think the completed piece is worth.
If you're interested, leave a comment or drop me a note with an idea or theme or plot you'd like me to take on and I shall let you know! Stories can be with human or furry characters or anything inbetween! I am open for both PG and NSFW commissions, though I will restrict the NSFW commissions to male characters, unfortunately. I am not confident in my ability to write female characters in NSFW situations.
I make no guarantees on story length, I will write as much as I need so that the story covers the ideas and feels complete.
Thanks for reading, and if you're not interested, but still would like to help out, could always use a signal boost!
Thanks again,
Kingsley.
Academic updates and hopes for the future
Posted 10 years agoThings have been in chaos for quite a while, and, well, I feel like things might finally be looking up for me.
If you read my december journal (http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6310828/) you will know that I had a bit of a breakdown in december regarding staying in the zoology program. Well, in January, I swapped out of all my biology courses within the first week and transferred into all Indigenous Studies courses. I needed a mental break that semester.
Then the year ended, and I moved back home. Got a job, went to Anthrocon, met some amazing people, came home, and quit that job due to.... reasons.
So, last week, I went up to my school, partially so family could visit my brother, and partially so I could talk to my school. I had decided to just use what I qualified for, a 3 year biology degree, instead of what I had been working towards, a 4 year zoology degree. I was no longer sure if biology was what I wanted, and I just wanted a degree at that point for my resume.
But, I went to talk to the head of my department to get it approved. And.... turns out I am 3 credits short of a 4 year biology degree, and those 3 credits are an elective. It's not a zoology degree, but it's loads better than a 3 year degree.
So I followed that good news by going to talk to the Indigenous Studies department about if I met the requirements for a minor. Turns out.... I'm 9 credits short of a major in that degree.
So, as of yesterday, I am officially registered in two Indigenous Studies courses, all through distance education. Meaning I don't even have to move, I can do both these courses from home. And when I'm done both of them, I can apply to graduate with a double major in biology and indigenous studies.
And then I got a free pizza due to all the frosh moving in!
Now, what about my hopes for the future? Honestly, right now, I'm just not sure. I still don't really know what I want to do with my life. I really would love to do art, but my skill is...... nowhere near good enough to even make a small living off of art. But other than art, I have no ideas at all of what to do. I don't know what I want to do as a career, as a job even. Right now all I know is to pass these two courses, so that at least I can have the degrees on my resume.
But for now, I guess my hopes for the future are to find a way to get a job in this tiny ass town, so I can save up money to pay for these courses, and to maybe, hopefully, possibly go to Anthro New England in January so that I can meet
Pac and a bunch of others in person for the first time. But it's starting to look like that may not happen, as much as I wish otherwise.
But that's what I'll be doing: spending this year completing the two courses I need to graduate with a double major, and trying to figure out what to do with my life. And, I guess, keep looking forwards.
Sorry for the long journal, thank you for taking the time to read it.
If you read my december journal (http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6310828/) you will know that I had a bit of a breakdown in december regarding staying in the zoology program. Well, in January, I swapped out of all my biology courses within the first week and transferred into all Indigenous Studies courses. I needed a mental break that semester.
Then the year ended, and I moved back home. Got a job, went to Anthrocon, met some amazing people, came home, and quit that job due to.... reasons.
So, last week, I went up to my school, partially so family could visit my brother, and partially so I could talk to my school. I had decided to just use what I qualified for, a 3 year biology degree, instead of what I had been working towards, a 4 year zoology degree. I was no longer sure if biology was what I wanted, and I just wanted a degree at that point for my resume.
But, I went to talk to the head of my department to get it approved. And.... turns out I am 3 credits short of a 4 year biology degree, and those 3 credits are an elective. It's not a zoology degree, but it's loads better than a 3 year degree.
So I followed that good news by going to talk to the Indigenous Studies department about if I met the requirements for a minor. Turns out.... I'm 9 credits short of a major in that degree.
So, as of yesterday, I am officially registered in two Indigenous Studies courses, all through distance education. Meaning I don't even have to move, I can do both these courses from home. And when I'm done both of them, I can apply to graduate with a double major in biology and indigenous studies.
And then I got a free pizza due to all the frosh moving in!
Now, what about my hopes for the future? Honestly, right now, I'm just not sure. I still don't really know what I want to do with my life. I really would love to do art, but my skill is...... nowhere near good enough to even make a small living off of art. But other than art, I have no ideas at all of what to do. I don't know what I want to do as a career, as a job even. Right now all I know is to pass these two courses, so that at least I can have the degrees on my resume.
But for now, I guess my hopes for the future are to find a way to get a job in this tiny ass town, so I can save up money to pay for these courses, and to maybe, hopefully, possibly go to Anthro New England in January so that I can meet
Pac and a bunch of others in person for the first time. But it's starting to look like that may not happen, as much as I wish otherwise. But that's what I'll be doing: spending this year completing the two courses I need to graduate with a double major, and trying to figure out what to do with my life. And, I guess, keep looking forwards.
Sorry for the long journal, thank you for taking the time to read it.
AC meme and commissions
Posted 10 years agoWhere are you staying?
The Courtyard
What day are you getting there?
Tuesday morning. Arriving a bit early.
How are you traveling?
Flying in and out.
Who will you be rooming with?
ShaneRufus, 
BenAnderson, 
Arterian21, and 
Articus-The-Tigulf get to put up with me for the convention.
How is the best way to find you?
Send me a message on twitter! You can find me KingsleyWolfe
Are there any panels you might be attending?
I have absolutely no idea. First time.
What do you look like?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CFVVNmNW8AAUZna.jpg
I'm the one on the right with the Moogle shirt.
Will you be suiting?
I wish.
Do you do free art?
If you want a crappy sketch from me, feel free to ask.
Do you do trades?
Again, if you want a crappy sketch or a short little snippet of writing, just ask.
Do you do badges?
That would imply that my art is anywhere near good enough for it.
What is your gender?
Male.
How tall are you?
Somewhere between 5'8" and 5'10".
Can I talk to you?
Feel free.
Can I touch you?
Please ask first.
Can I visit your room?
Unlikely unless you're invited. Dunno what the others would think about that.
Can I buy you drinks?
Only if they are soda.
Can I give you stuff?
I can't imagine anybody wanting to, but feel free.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Um, ask?
Are you nice?
I'd like to think so, at times.
How long are you going?
Tuesday-Monday.
Do you have an artist table?
Pffft.
Will you be going to parties?
Absolutely no idea.
Will you be performing?
HAH!
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Approach and say hi.
Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Hanging with the aforementioned people, I assume.
What/where will you be eating?
No idea.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Ask. Depends on if we know you/what everybody thinks.
Can I take your picture?
No bloody idea
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Have fun.
______________________________________________
Onto the second topic.
As usual, I am open for commissions. Nobody has ever taken me up on the offer before, but it doesn't hurt to keep putting it out there.
I'm open for story and art commissions, though more likely on the story side since my art is crap. I don't exactly have any set prices, since I haven't been able to set a baseline and I'm not even sure how much short stories would be worth to people. So my prices are a "pay what you want" system, paid after I finish the story. Art is the same system, pay what you want/think it is worth.
So, if you're interested in commissioning at all, I would really appreciate it. Just drop me a message or a note.
The Courtyard
What day are you getting there?
Tuesday morning. Arriving a bit early.
How are you traveling?
Flying in and out.
Who will you be rooming with?
ShaneRufus, 
BenAnderson, 
Arterian21, and 
Articus-The-Tigulf get to put up with me for the convention.How is the best way to find you?
Send me a message on twitter! You can find me KingsleyWolfe
Are there any panels you might be attending?
I have absolutely no idea. First time.
What do you look like?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CFVVNmNW8AAUZna.jpg
I'm the one on the right with the Moogle shirt.
Will you be suiting?
I wish.
Do you do free art?
If you want a crappy sketch from me, feel free to ask.
Do you do trades?
Again, if you want a crappy sketch or a short little snippet of writing, just ask.
Do you do badges?
That would imply that my art is anywhere near good enough for it.
What is your gender?
Male.
How tall are you?
Somewhere between 5'8" and 5'10".
Can I talk to you?
Feel free.
Can I touch you?
Please ask first.
Can I visit your room?
Unlikely unless you're invited. Dunno what the others would think about that.
Can I buy you drinks?
Only if they are soda.
Can I give you stuff?
I can't imagine anybody wanting to, but feel free.
Can I hug or snuggle with you?
Um, ask?
Are you nice?
I'd like to think so, at times.
How long are you going?
Tuesday-Monday.
Do you have an artist table?
Pffft.
Will you be going to parties?
Absolutely no idea.
Will you be performing?
HAH!
If I see you, how should I get your attention?
Approach and say hi.
Where will you be most of the time during the day/s?
Hanging with the aforementioned people, I assume.
What/where will you be eating?
No idea.
Can I come with you for food/fun/etc?
Ask. Depends on if we know you/what everybody thinks.
Can I take your picture?
No bloody idea
What's your goal(s) for the con this year?
Have fun.
______________________________________________
Onto the second topic.
As usual, I am open for commissions. Nobody has ever taken me up on the offer before, but it doesn't hurt to keep putting it out there.
I'm open for story and art commissions, though more likely on the story side since my art is crap. I don't exactly have any set prices, since I haven't been able to set a baseline and I'm not even sure how much short stories would be worth to people. So my prices are a "pay what you want" system, paid after I finish the story. Art is the same system, pay what you want/think it is worth.
So, if you're interested in commissioning at all, I would really appreciate it. Just drop me a message or a note.
Venting over life (feel free to ignore)
Posted 11 years agoHonestly, today has been . . . I don't know what today has been. I'm struggling to feel anything beyond a 'meh' in regards to a reason to do anything.
Part of it, I think, is that I'm confused on what exactly I want to do with my life right now. I'm in my 4th year of university of a zoology degree, but is this REALLY what I want to do with my life? The kind of job in this field that i had always wanted no longer exists. The era of the naturalist like Jane Goodall is over, and have been over for a long time. So much of a zoologist's job when doing research now is the collection of scientifically useable data and the writing up of papers to share this knowledge. And, honestly, that's NOT what I want to do. I am HORRIBLE at writing papers. They are just so dull and uninspired to me, I just can't do them. Is trying to get into a career where I hate 90% of the job worth it for that 10%? I honestly don't know anymore.
But I feel a bit trapped. I'm 4 years into this. If it hadn't been for my bursary I would be over $45000 in debt. I feel like I've sunk so much time and effort into this degree that backing out now would be a waste of everything I have done. A waste of all that time, and all that money. But that's even if I CAN survive out this year. I'm doing so horribly in my classes this semester, even while trying my best. I just don't know what to do anymore.
The fact that I've found a community recently that helps me express my creative side isn't helping. I hadn't touched this creative side since High School, basically. And it makes me remember why I took art through those 4 years. Even though my art sucks, my writing isn't bad. But that's a problem. I have a fair few friends who make their living off of art, both some that I have met online and some that I went to school with. They may live modestly, but they live making their money by doing something they LOVE. I don't have the skill to be able to do that with art itself. MAYBE I'd have the technical skill to do so with writing, but not in practice. Art can be appreciated quickly, in a glance. Writing takes time to digest. It's nowhere near as profitable.
I guess, in short, I'm whining over nothing. I'm whining that I wish I had the capability to support myself while being able to do something I love to do. And I'm not sure that what I decided to go to school for is such a thing anymore. Just kinda showing how young and naive I am. Maybe we send our children off to university too soon. Just because they are 18, 19, 20, 12, etc doesn't mean they know what they want to do anymore. But in this day and age, in this economy, do we really have a choice? We have a surplus of workers but a steadily decreasing number of jobs. Not everybody can have a job that they enjoy.
I know there was something else I wanted to say, but really I cant even remember it anymore, and I've rambled long enough.
Part of it, I think, is that I'm confused on what exactly I want to do with my life right now. I'm in my 4th year of university of a zoology degree, but is this REALLY what I want to do with my life? The kind of job in this field that i had always wanted no longer exists. The era of the naturalist like Jane Goodall is over, and have been over for a long time. So much of a zoologist's job when doing research now is the collection of scientifically useable data and the writing up of papers to share this knowledge. And, honestly, that's NOT what I want to do. I am HORRIBLE at writing papers. They are just so dull and uninspired to me, I just can't do them. Is trying to get into a career where I hate 90% of the job worth it for that 10%? I honestly don't know anymore.
But I feel a bit trapped. I'm 4 years into this. If it hadn't been for my bursary I would be over $45000 in debt. I feel like I've sunk so much time and effort into this degree that backing out now would be a waste of everything I have done. A waste of all that time, and all that money. But that's even if I CAN survive out this year. I'm doing so horribly in my classes this semester, even while trying my best. I just don't know what to do anymore.
The fact that I've found a community recently that helps me express my creative side isn't helping. I hadn't touched this creative side since High School, basically. And it makes me remember why I took art through those 4 years. Even though my art sucks, my writing isn't bad. But that's a problem. I have a fair few friends who make their living off of art, both some that I have met online and some that I went to school with. They may live modestly, but they live making their money by doing something they LOVE. I don't have the skill to be able to do that with art itself. MAYBE I'd have the technical skill to do so with writing, but not in practice. Art can be appreciated quickly, in a glance. Writing takes time to digest. It's nowhere near as profitable.
I guess, in short, I'm whining over nothing. I'm whining that I wish I had the capability to support myself while being able to do something I love to do. And I'm not sure that what I decided to go to school for is such a thing anymore. Just kinda showing how young and naive I am. Maybe we send our children off to university too soon. Just because they are 18, 19, 20, 12, etc doesn't mean they know what they want to do anymore. But in this day and age, in this economy, do we really have a choice? We have a surplus of workers but a steadily decreasing number of jobs. Not everybody can have a job that they enjoy.
I know there was something else I wanted to say, but really I cant even remember it anymore, and I've rambled long enough.
Venting over life (feel free to ignore)
Posted 11 years agoHonestly, today has been . . . I don't know what today has been. I'm struggling to feel anything beyond a 'meh' in regards to a reason to do anything.
Part of it, I think, is that I'm confused on what exactly I want to do with my life right now. I'm in my 4th year of university of a zoology degree, but is this REALLY what I want to do with my life? The kind of job in this field that i had always wanted no longer exists. The era of the naturalist like Jane Goodall is over, and have been over for a long time. So much of a zoologist's job when doing research now is the collection of scientifically useable data and the writing up of papers to share this knowledge. And, honestly, that's NOT what I want to do. I am HORRIBLE at writing papers. They are just so dull and uninspired to me, I just can't do them. Is trying to get into a career where I hate 90% of the job worth it for that 10%? I honestly don't know anymore.
But I feel a bit trapped. I'm 4 years into this. If it hadn't been for my bursary I would be over $45000 in debt. I feel like I've sunk so much time and effort into this degree that backing out now would be a waste of everything I have done. A waste of all that time, and all that money. But that's even if I CAN survive out this year. I'm doing so horribly in my classes this semester, even while trying my best. I just don't know what to do anymore.
The fact that I've found a community recently that helps me express my creative side isn't helping. I hadn't touched this creative side since High School, basically. And it makes me remember why I took art through those 4 years. Even though my art sucks, my writing isn't bad. But that's a problem. I have a fair few friends who make their living off of art, both some that I have met online and some that I went to school with. They may live modestly, but they live making their money by doing something they LOVE. I don't have the skill to be able to do that with art itself. MAYBE I'd have the technical skill to do so with writing, but not in practice. Art can be appreciated quickly, in a glance. Writing takes time to digest. It's nowhere near as profitable.
I guess, in short, I'm whining over nothing. I'm whining that I wish I had the capability to support myself while being able to do something I love to do. And I'm not sure that what I decided to go to school for is such a thing anymore. Just kinda showing how young and naive I am. Maybe we send our children off to university too soon. Just because they are 18, 19, 20, 12, etc doesn't mean they know what they want to do anymore. But in this day and age, in this economy, do we really have a choice? We have a surplus of workers but a steadily decreasing number of jobs. Not everybody can have a job that they enjoy.
I know there was something else I wanted to say, but really I cant even remember it anymore, and I've rambled long enough.
Part of it, I think, is that I'm confused on what exactly I want to do with my life right now. I'm in my 4th year of university of a zoology degree, but is this REALLY what I want to do with my life? The kind of job in this field that i had always wanted no longer exists. The era of the naturalist like Jane Goodall is over, and have been over for a long time. So much of a zoologist's job when doing research now is the collection of scientifically useable data and the writing up of papers to share this knowledge. And, honestly, that's NOT what I want to do. I am HORRIBLE at writing papers. They are just so dull and uninspired to me, I just can't do them. Is trying to get into a career where I hate 90% of the job worth it for that 10%? I honestly don't know anymore.
But I feel a bit trapped. I'm 4 years into this. If it hadn't been for my bursary I would be over $45000 in debt. I feel like I've sunk so much time and effort into this degree that backing out now would be a waste of everything I have done. A waste of all that time, and all that money. But that's even if I CAN survive out this year. I'm doing so horribly in my classes this semester, even while trying my best. I just don't know what to do anymore.
The fact that I've found a community recently that helps me express my creative side isn't helping. I hadn't touched this creative side since High School, basically. And it makes me remember why I took art through those 4 years. Even though my art sucks, my writing isn't bad. But that's a problem. I have a fair few friends who make their living off of art, both some that I have met online and some that I went to school with. They may live modestly, but they live making their money by doing something they LOVE. I don't have the skill to be able to do that with art itself. MAYBE I'd have the technical skill to do so with writing, but not in practice. Art can be appreciated quickly, in a glance. Writing takes time to digest. It's nowhere near as profitable.
I guess, in short, I'm whining over nothing. I'm whining that I wish I had the capability to support myself while being able to do something I love to do. And I'm not sure that what I decided to go to school for is such a thing anymore. Just kinda showing how young and naive I am. Maybe we send our children off to university too soon. Just because they are 18, 19, 20, 12, etc doesn't mean they know what they want to do anymore. But in this day and age, in this economy, do we really have a choice? We have a surplus of workers but a steadily decreasing number of jobs. Not everybody can have a job that they enjoy.
I know there was something else I wanted to say, but really I cant even remember it anymore, and I've rambled long enough.
Looking for Story Commissions
Posted 11 years agoHey everyone!
School has started again, and with that, I have a bit more free time. Well, mainly because I was fired by my job (for stupid reasons, long story). So, with afternoons and weekends open now, I thought I'd put it back out there that I am open for story commissions. I could really use the money to help with school, as well as to make a little bit of a buffer for my trip to Blizzcon this November.
I work on a "pay what you like" basis. I CAN assign prices if people would prefer that, but I'd like people to pay what they think the story is worth.
Since my last journal, I've submitted a LOT of stories. All Safe for work due to being in the FBA universe. I'm not opposed to doing NSFW stories, however, as can be evidenced from my earlier work as well as my only commissioned story.
If you have an idea that you'd like to see written, get in contact with me. I can be reached here via notes, or by email at kingsleywolfe[at]gmail.com
If I think I can do your idea justice, I will get to work. I will probably ask questions an pitch stuff to you to make sure that it's what you want to see. I've also been debating streaming my writing, since somebody suggested it, so if that's something you're interested in, let me know.
Anyways, I hope to see some people interested in this, but we shall see.
Thanks for your time, everyone!
~ Kingsley WolfeSo, assumption meme.
Posted 11 years agoYou know what, why not. If you have any assumptions, feel free to post them, and I will either tell you that you are correct, or correct the assumption.
I guess. I don't know what I'm doing, truly.
I guess. I don't know what I'm doing, truly.
Life Updates, commissions, and the FBA
Posted 11 years agoWow, it's been almost a year since my last journal. Sorry about that guys, I hope you didn't miss me!
What am I saying, of course you didn't miss me!
So, I guess I'll start off with the life updates. My third year of university has ended a while back. It wasn't a great year, and has required me to take a summer course to keep my bursary next year. I'm still trucking along though. I'm living off campus this year, which means paying rent on a house all summer, which I am not fond of. But, oh well, live and survive, eh?
The summer is going well. I have a job for now, and it's decent hours, but I'm saddened by it as well. Last year, I had the same job in a different town, and I loved it, but this year, well, I'm do deep into artistic mode that I'm beginning to find the job soul-deadening. But . . . I need the money. As much as I wish I had the talent of amazing people like Pac or 
adaoz and be able to make money off of art, I do not. And besides practice, which I am beginning to do again, there's nothing I can do to change that fact.
I shall be heading to Blizzcon this year. It looks like, despite our near-meeting last year, I may actually get to meet up with
Krhainos this year. If we can do it, it will be a huge pleasure.
Second topic: Commissions. I am still taking them. Drawings, sketches, or short stories. All on a pay what you think it is worth format, paid after completion. I am actively looking for any work you guys want to give me, it may help take some of the pressure off from my job, or at least make it a little less soul-deadening if I know I have artistic work waiting for me at home, eh? If you have any questions, feel free to ask them of me!
Third topic: The FBA. There are quite a few new followers that I have here, all from the FBA. Just wanted to say hey to you all, and thank you guys for the follows!
For those not in the know, the FBA, or Furry Basketball Association, is a fantasy furry basketball league created by
BuckHopper. I've entered into the draft this year with a pangolin character that goes by the name of Kevin Malka. You may have seen a few stories about him already in my gallery.
I still feel like I let Kevin down a bit. I created him last minute, since I only learned about the draft submission acceptance last minute. But, at the time, I had very little basketball knowledge, and as such, my descriptions of him were not great beyond "he's a very strong defensive player". Had I known then what I do now, I still think he could have been a shoe-in for the the Top 24. But, what can you do? That's in the past now, and all I can do is look forward and plan accordingly. I have story plans no matter what happens to him, if he is drafted, if he falls into D-League, if he doesn't even get into D-League. No matter what, I love this guy, and I won't abandon him.
Anyways, I'll try to do little journal updates more often. I miss just talking and venting a little like this.
Take care, guys, and enjoy yourselves, eh?
What am I saying, of course you didn't miss me!
So, I guess I'll start off with the life updates. My third year of university has ended a while back. It wasn't a great year, and has required me to take a summer course to keep my bursary next year. I'm still trucking along though. I'm living off campus this year, which means paying rent on a house all summer, which I am not fond of. But, oh well, live and survive, eh?
The summer is going well. I have a job for now, and it's decent hours, but I'm saddened by it as well. Last year, I had the same job in a different town, and I loved it, but this year, well, I'm do deep into artistic mode that I'm beginning to find the job soul-deadening. But . . . I need the money. As much as I wish I had the talent of amazing people like
Pac or 
adaoz and be able to make money off of art, I do not. And besides practice, which I am beginning to do again, there's nothing I can do to change that fact.I shall be heading to Blizzcon this year. It looks like, despite our near-meeting last year, I may actually get to meet up with
Krhainos this year. If we can do it, it will be a huge pleasure.Second topic: Commissions. I am still taking them. Drawings, sketches, or short stories. All on a pay what you think it is worth format, paid after completion. I am actively looking for any work you guys want to give me, it may help take some of the pressure off from my job, or at least make it a little less soul-deadening if I know I have artistic work waiting for me at home, eh? If you have any questions, feel free to ask them of me!
Third topic: The FBA. There are quite a few new followers that I have here, all from the FBA. Just wanted to say hey to you all, and thank you guys for the follows!
For those not in the know, the FBA, or Furry Basketball Association, is a fantasy furry basketball league created by
BuckHopper. I've entered into the draft this year with a pangolin character that goes by the name of Kevin Malka. You may have seen a few stories about him already in my gallery.I still feel like I let Kevin down a bit. I created him last minute, since I only learned about the draft submission acceptance last minute. But, at the time, I had very little basketball knowledge, and as such, my descriptions of him were not great beyond "he's a very strong defensive player". Had I known then what I do now, I still think he could have been a shoe-in for the the Top 24. But, what can you do? That's in the past now, and all I can do is look forward and plan accordingly. I have story plans no matter what happens to him, if he is drafted, if he falls into D-League, if he doesn't even get into D-League. No matter what, I love this guy, and I won't abandon him.
Anyways, I'll try to do little journal updates more often. I miss just talking and venting a little like this.
Take care, guys, and enjoy yourselves, eh?
BLIZZCON!!!
Posted 12 years agoI know nobody really reads these things, but who knows, one of my few watchers could be a World of Warcraft or Diablo player.
Anyways, tickets for Blizzcon went on sale yesterday. If you know anything about Blizzcon, it's a bloodbath. You refresh the moment the time hits, you hit the purchase link as soon as it appears, and then you get put into a queue based on the order you clicked. Under 3700 you're almost guaranteed a ticket, at about 5000 you have maybe a 50% chance if you're lucky, and if you're at 7000 or above, you can wait it out but it's extremely unlikely.
Anyways, this was my intended first year of going, so I got this information second hand. Did the gauntlet, got queue number 1700-ish. Then got locked out of my account due to unusual log-in patterns. Had to quickly create a new battle.net account in a separate browser just so I would be able to buy my ticket. I did, and I got my ticket.
So, would any of my watchers happen to be Blizzard fans and going? Just curious, is all.
Anyways, tickets for Blizzcon went on sale yesterday. If you know anything about Blizzcon, it's a bloodbath. You refresh the moment the time hits, you hit the purchase link as soon as it appears, and then you get put into a queue based on the order you clicked. Under 3700 you're almost guaranteed a ticket, at about 5000 you have maybe a 50% chance if you're lucky, and if you're at 7000 or above, you can wait it out but it's extremely unlikely.
Anyways, this was my intended first year of going, so I got this information second hand. Did the gauntlet, got queue number 1700-ish. Then got locked out of my account due to unusual log-in patterns. Had to quickly create a new battle.net account in a separate browser just so I would be able to buy my ticket. I did, and I got my ticket.
So, would any of my watchers happen to be Blizzard fans and going? Just curious, is all.
Something New This Way Comes
Posted 13 years agoI sat down to draw today, for the first time in, well, I honestly don't know how long. Probably at least a year and a half, two years. I've been focusing on my writing, so art has taken a back seat. Plus, well, my writing is a LOT better than my art.
But, I wanted a reference, of, well, I guess you'd call it my fursona (took me long enough. Maybe now I'll stop being mistaken for an otter). I spent a good 5 hours working on it. It looks good, if I do say so myself. Still a ton of mistakes (and I had to redo the face, which had been perfect, because I tried to "fix" it and made it worse. So, I tried to make it back like it was, and failed.
Either way, the sketch will be up soon, then I'm going to TRY to get some colour on it. And, well, draw the backside. But, maybe not so soon. I won't post it without the backside, and I'm exhausted after spending hours drawing what I did. Plus, a midterm on Thursday that i need to study for, and well, it restricts my available time considerably.
Best wishes to all.
But, I wanted a reference, of, well, I guess you'd call it my fursona (took me long enough. Maybe now I'll stop being mistaken for an otter). I spent a good 5 hours working on it. It looks good, if I do say so myself. Still a ton of mistakes (and I had to redo the face, which had been perfect, because I tried to "fix" it and made it worse. So, I tried to make it back like it was, and failed.
Either way, the sketch will be up soon, then I'm going to TRY to get some colour on it. And, well, draw the backside. But, maybe not so soon. I won't post it without the backside, and I'm exhausted after spending hours drawing what I did. Plus, a midterm on Thursday that i need to study for, and well, it restricts my available time considerably.
Best wishes to all.
Free / "Pay What You Want" Sketch Icons ~ Please Read~
Posted 13 years agoMight as well post this, see if I get any takers.
To start with a note: even if you don't want anything/don't feel like my art is good enough, if you know of somebody who might, pass this journal onto them. I could use the help in advertising myself.
To start: I know my art isn't very good. I really don't get the chance to practice as much as I wish I could, and even when I do, I feel as if nothing I tend to do helps it improve in the slightest. But here goes.
If you want to skip the explanatory speech, skip to the bolded sentence.
School is quite financially draining. Admittedly, my schooling is completely paid for, due to bursaries and the such, but my intentions when coming to school (wait a month or two and then find a part time job) were derailed when I realized how difficult school actually was. I barely have time for personal stuff and homework, let alone actual work. As such, my bank account, save some money I can't touch because it is required for the beginning of school next year to pay for books, etc, is quite dry. The time is coming up where I usually start pooling my money together in preparation for my one convention of the year: Fan Expo Canada in August. Usually this doesn't require much pooling, as I've worn the same costume every year for the past 3 years. However, it's falling apart. I would like to raise money so that I can go buy fabric and other things towards a new costume, and so that I can actually do stuff (like go to the movies with friends) between now and my birthday in June. Soooooooo . . .
I'm offering a "Pay What You Want" Sketch Icon. Basically, it simmers down to this: Post in this journal using the following template:
References:
Species:
Emotion/Theme:
Comments:
I will, in the order that they come in (save certain circumstances, such as getting stuck on an unusual species and taking a short break to work on an easier species to get back into the groove), take these templates and sketch an icon for you. Whether you end up deciding you like it enough to pay any amount for it or not, the icon is yours. It will help me get practice, and should anybody like their icons enough to pay money for it, even a dollar or two, it's a bonus.
Basically, if you don't want to pay, or you don't have any money, like me, it's basically a free icon for you.
If you don't want me to post a link on your profile/reply here and you want the icons sent to your email, feel free to drop it to me via Note.
Should you like your icon enough, I accept payment through paypal: database113[at]hotmail.com
In the comments section, please put your FA username so I know who it came from.
Also note: I've never been on the receiving end of paypal before, so I have no idea what to tell you to do.
Now, I guess I should say that in terms of icons, you have two options:
1) You can get just a plain black and white icon, such as this:
Plain
2) You can get one shaded, such as these:
Shaded Otter
Shaded Lion
Upon completion, I will send you, via link or email, both a full sized icon (tends to be about 350-400x350-400, as well as a shrunken 100x100. Feel free to do what you wish with them after you have them. Put them into photoshop to touch them up, colour them, make them have a invisible background, do as you wish once they are in your possession. All I request is that you acknowledge where you received the original.
More icons will come as I draw more examples/do any that somebody should request.
Three more final notes before I end this journal and HOPE people respond:
1) All icons will be PG or PG13, and headshots only. You may link to references of any rating, but the icons themselves will not be mature/adult.
2) PLEASE nothing too complicated. I'm still not the best at accessories/complicated facial expressions/ hairstyles, as evidenced by the examples. I will try to do what you request, no matter how complicated, but I can't guarantee anything.
3) Technically, I'm also offering short story commissions. Again, in a pay what you want style. Just give me character references, a short theme/synopsis of what you would like. I'm a bit more lenient in terms of maturity level on stories, my short story "The Auction" being the upper limit on what I will write. I reserve the right to say no to any theme that I do not believe I will be able to write about.
To start with a note: even if you don't want anything/don't feel like my art is good enough, if you know of somebody who might, pass this journal onto them. I could use the help in advertising myself.
To start: I know my art isn't very good. I really don't get the chance to practice as much as I wish I could, and even when I do, I feel as if nothing I tend to do helps it improve in the slightest. But here goes.
If you want to skip the explanatory speech, skip to the bolded sentence.
School is quite financially draining. Admittedly, my schooling is completely paid for, due to bursaries and the such, but my intentions when coming to school (wait a month or two and then find a part time job) were derailed when I realized how difficult school actually was. I barely have time for personal stuff and homework, let alone actual work. As such, my bank account, save some money I can't touch because it is required for the beginning of school next year to pay for books, etc, is quite dry. The time is coming up where I usually start pooling my money together in preparation for my one convention of the year: Fan Expo Canada in August. Usually this doesn't require much pooling, as I've worn the same costume every year for the past 3 years. However, it's falling apart. I would like to raise money so that I can go buy fabric and other things towards a new costume, and so that I can actually do stuff (like go to the movies with friends) between now and my birthday in June. Soooooooo . . .
I'm offering a "Pay What You Want" Sketch Icon. Basically, it simmers down to this: Post in this journal using the following template:
References:
Species:
Emotion/Theme:
Comments:
I will, in the order that they come in (save certain circumstances, such as getting stuck on an unusual species and taking a short break to work on an easier species to get back into the groove), take these templates and sketch an icon for you. Whether you end up deciding you like it enough to pay any amount for it or not, the icon is yours. It will help me get practice, and should anybody like their icons enough to pay money for it, even a dollar or two, it's a bonus.
Basically, if you don't want to pay, or you don't have any money, like me, it's basically a free icon for you.
If you don't want me to post a link on your profile/reply here and you want the icons sent to your email, feel free to drop it to me via Note.
Should you like your icon enough, I accept payment through paypal: database113[at]hotmail.com
In the comments section, please put your FA username so I know who it came from.
Also note: I've never been on the receiving end of paypal before, so I have no idea what to tell you to do.
Now, I guess I should say that in terms of icons, you have two options:
1) You can get just a plain black and white icon, such as this:
Plain
2) You can get one shaded, such as these:
Shaded Otter
Shaded Lion
Upon completion, I will send you, via link or email, both a full sized icon (tends to be about 350-400x350-400, as well as a shrunken 100x100. Feel free to do what you wish with them after you have them. Put them into photoshop to touch them up, colour them, make them have a invisible background, do as you wish once they are in your possession. All I request is that you acknowledge where you received the original.
More icons will come as I draw more examples/do any that somebody should request.
Three more final notes before I end this journal and HOPE people respond:
1) All icons will be PG or PG13, and headshots only. You may link to references of any rating, but the icons themselves will not be mature/adult.
2) PLEASE nothing too complicated. I'm still not the best at accessories/complicated facial expressions/ hairstyles, as evidenced by the examples. I will try to do what you request, no matter how complicated, but I can't guarantee anything.
3) Technically, I'm also offering short story commissions. Again, in a pay what you want style. Just give me character references, a short theme/synopsis of what you would like. I'm a bit more lenient in terms of maturity level on stories, my short story "The Auction" being the upper limit on what I will write. I reserve the right to say no to any theme that I do not believe I will be able to write about.
Sketch and Story comissions
Posted 14 years agoOkay guys. I've wanted to try this for a while, see if anybody is interested. I doubt it, but, hey, may as well put myself out there.
I've noticed University has been bleeding me dry. What little I have left is going towards Christmas presents. Any extra money would be beneficial.
So, I shall be offering sketch and story commissions. There is no set price. If you decide to commission, wait until I finish it for you, and then pay what you think it is worth. If you feel like it really isn't worth anything, don't pay anything. Like I said, pay what you think it is worth. Payments via paypal, and payment info will be provided after I finish a commission.
I will open 5 slots in each, sketch and story.
I will add examples as I get them done:
Sketch Commission:
- Generally sketchy lines, may or may not be detailed. Most likely in pencil, may or may not be inked, may or may not be in colour.
-- Requires: Character references, general theme or feel you would like (I'll try my best). Submissions will be PG-13.
Samples:
Story Commission:
- Short story, may be longer depending on how inspired I am.
-- Requires: Character references, a general theme or feeling, if you have a basic story in mind, let me know. Submissions will be generally PG-13, possible mind suggestive themes (for my limits, please see: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5874617
Samples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5874617
If you are interested, comment below, with your choice of commission and required info. If you feel like spreading the word, feel free.
I've noticed University has been bleeding me dry. What little I have left is going towards Christmas presents. Any extra money would be beneficial.
So, I shall be offering sketch and story commissions. There is no set price. If you decide to commission, wait until I finish it for you, and then pay what you think it is worth. If you feel like it really isn't worth anything, don't pay anything. Like I said, pay what you think it is worth. Payments via paypal, and payment info will be provided after I finish a commission.
I will open 5 slots in each, sketch and story.
I will add examples as I get them done:
Sketch Commission:
- Generally sketchy lines, may or may not be detailed. Most likely in pencil, may or may not be inked, may or may not be in colour.
-- Requires: Character references, general theme or feel you would like (I'll try my best). Submissions will be PG-13.
Samples:
Story Commission:
- Short story, may be longer depending on how inspired I am.
-- Requires: Character references, a general theme or feeling, if you have a basic story in mind, let me know. Submissions will be generally PG-13, possible mind suggestive themes (for my limits, please see: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5874617
Samples:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/5874617
If you are interested, comment below, with your choice of commission and required info. If you feel like spreading the word, feel free.
Freaking the Fuck Out
Posted 14 years agoI'll make this short and sweet. This is my last day at home. I'm going to University tomorrow, and this is my first time actually leaving home for more than a weekend or vacation. I won't have any (close) family nearby, it's going to be such an unfamiliar experience. I'm just freaking out a wee bit.
New scar and life update
Posted 14 years agoOddly enough, I now have a new scar. A faint, slightly curved one in the middle of my left arm.
. . .
I got attacked by a chair. In specific, a green chair that we've had since before I was born. A month ago I learned there was a sharp piece of metal sticking out of the arm. It gave me a few pricks on my leg (I sit with my back/legs against the arms to see the TV) while playing video games, but I thought nothing of it. Started putting a pillow there to stop the pricks. The pillow fell. I reached to get it, and when sitting up, gave myself a decent gash, bled a fair bit. Not too deep. Now I have another scar.
The other one (that I know of)? On my left thumb. Got it in kindergarten, at age 4. Kept playing with a metal, hand powered bicycle tire pump. Too much pressure built up and it burst out, slicing my thumb to the bone. 7 stitches. My thumb has a slight bend now thanks to it.
In life updates, I'll be heading to Disney World on the 10th. I look forward to the trip. It's for my mom's birthday, and on last trip before University. We'll also be going to Universal Orlando, to see The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Definitely getting myself a wand. Then Fan Expo Canada at the end of the month. Following that, the move into University.
I got my residence info for that two days ago. I contacted my roommate through Facebook. First by message, which he didn't reply to, and then through a friend request, which he accepted. If he doesn't reply to the message, I'm going to send it again. There are things we need to discuss (like the fact that I'm gay). The school has a 'no room changes before Oct. 1st' policy, but if he's homophobic or such, I think they may want to considering getting me a room change before violence breaks out. I'd rather NOT get beaten up by my roommate, if he's homophobic.
That, and we need to discuss what we are bringing. We don't need two mini-fridges, tvs, etc. Well, tvs maybe, but we don't need two mini-fridges.
Also, there may be an update to "The Auction", if any of you care. I feel like continuing it, but whether or not it gets posted here is so far uncertain.
. . .
I got attacked by a chair. In specific, a green chair that we've had since before I was born. A month ago I learned there was a sharp piece of metal sticking out of the arm. It gave me a few pricks on my leg (I sit with my back/legs against the arms to see the TV) while playing video games, but I thought nothing of it. Started putting a pillow there to stop the pricks. The pillow fell. I reached to get it, and when sitting up, gave myself a decent gash, bled a fair bit. Not too deep. Now I have another scar.
The other one (that I know of)? On my left thumb. Got it in kindergarten, at age 4. Kept playing with a metal, hand powered bicycle tire pump. Too much pressure built up and it burst out, slicing my thumb to the bone. 7 stitches. My thumb has a slight bend now thanks to it.
In life updates, I'll be heading to Disney World on the 10th. I look forward to the trip. It's for my mom's birthday, and on last trip before University. We'll also be going to Universal Orlando, to see The Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Definitely getting myself a wand. Then Fan Expo Canada at the end of the month. Following that, the move into University.
I got my residence info for that two days ago. I contacted my roommate through Facebook. First by message, which he didn't reply to, and then through a friend request, which he accepted. If he doesn't reply to the message, I'm going to send it again. There are things we need to discuss (like the fact that I'm gay). The school has a 'no room changes before Oct. 1st' policy, but if he's homophobic or such, I think they may want to considering getting me a room change before violence breaks out. I'd rather NOT get beaten up by my roommate, if he's homophobic.
That, and we need to discuss what we are bringing. We don't need two mini-fridges, tvs, etc. Well, tvs maybe, but we don't need two mini-fridges.
Also, there may be an update to "The Auction", if any of you care. I feel like continuing it, but whether or not it gets posted here is so far uncertain.
Obsession, much?
Posted 14 years agoOkay, since I finally had the extra money for it, I bought Minecraft. I've heard, and seen, good things, and I look forward to playing around with it.
However, I just spent at least an HOUR (I think I may have spent more time) using an online editor to make my in-game character look like Miko, the otter you can see in my icon. I look forward to actually starting on playing Minecraft.
Though, I think I'm going to play on peaceful mode for a while until I get the hang of the game.
However, I just spent at least an HOUR (I think I may have spent more time) using an online editor to make my in-game character look like Miko, the otter you can see in my icon. I look forward to actually starting on playing Minecraft.
Though, I think I'm going to play on peaceful mode for a while until I get the hang of the game.
Luck. . . or Fate?
Posted 14 years agoLong story short: I now have a Nintendo 64.
Long story:
Not that I didn't have one before.
See, I'm a twin. Growing up, my brother and I have always shared our video game consoles (given that it really wasn't cost effective to buy two consoles. Handhelds like the Gameboy were different). Now, we're at the age where we are going to be separate for a long time, and the issue of ownership has come up.
My brother can be a bit of an overbearing asshole at times. He does things purposefully to mock me when he can. He has basically decided that he owns all the consoles and games (because, according to him, he played them more), except the ones he doesn't like. As I said, an asshole. He lives with my Dad now, leaving me little opportunity to argue otherwise. Last thing I managed to do was grab my PS2 and a few games I wanted to play. He's had the system for over a year, and he never played it. He can let me have it for a nice long while now, dammit!
Anyways, back to the story. I know that in the end, I'm going to have to buy all these consoles and copies of the games, because I know he never will, he'll just keep taking them back. So I need my own (which is gonna be hard with old, popular games like Final Fantasy VII (which I've seen for sale at between $75 and $120)). There was a yard sale down the street. I was told by my grandmother that she "saw some cartridges there, you know, like old Nintendo games" (I use her quotes to illustrate her good intent, but he lack of video gaming knowledge. She did buy us our Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and N64, so she knows the basics of gaming, kind of. Wouldn't be able to play a game to save her life, though.). I quickly rushed over there. Thank goodness people don't know value.
Picked up a N64 console, 4 controllers (1 plain grey, 1 purple and see-through, 1 green and see-through, and one red), 6 N64 games (Perfect Dark, Excitebike 64, Pokemon Snap, Toy Story 2, Donkey Kong 64, and Banjo Kazooie), and 4 Gameboy Colour games (Hamtaro, Pokemon Yellow (and the internal battery still works!), Mortal Kombat 2, and Monster Rancher Explorer). All that for $35.
Given that Most N64s at used game stores and conventions that i see go for about $50, and that's with no games and 2 controllers, I think I got a damn good deal. And now I have my own N64, my own copy of Banjo Kazooie, and 5 other games I've never had before. Plus those 4 GBC games.
Long story:
Not that I didn't have one before.
See, I'm a twin. Growing up, my brother and I have always shared our video game consoles (given that it really wasn't cost effective to buy two consoles. Handhelds like the Gameboy were different). Now, we're at the age where we are going to be separate for a long time, and the issue of ownership has come up.
My brother can be a bit of an overbearing asshole at times. He does things purposefully to mock me when he can. He has basically decided that he owns all the consoles and games (because, according to him, he played them more), except the ones he doesn't like. As I said, an asshole. He lives with my Dad now, leaving me little opportunity to argue otherwise. Last thing I managed to do was grab my PS2 and a few games I wanted to play. He's had the system for over a year, and he never played it. He can let me have it for a nice long while now, dammit!
Anyways, back to the story. I know that in the end, I'm going to have to buy all these consoles and copies of the games, because I know he never will, he'll just keep taking them back. So I need my own (which is gonna be hard with old, popular games like Final Fantasy VII (which I've seen for sale at between $75 and $120)). There was a yard sale down the street. I was told by my grandmother that she "saw some cartridges there, you know, like old Nintendo games" (I use her quotes to illustrate her good intent, but he lack of video gaming knowledge. She did buy us our Nintendo, Super Nintendo, and N64, so she knows the basics of gaming, kind of. Wouldn't be able to play a game to save her life, though.). I quickly rushed over there. Thank goodness people don't know value.
Picked up a N64 console, 4 controllers (1 plain grey, 1 purple and see-through, 1 green and see-through, and one red), 6 N64 games (Perfect Dark, Excitebike 64, Pokemon Snap, Toy Story 2, Donkey Kong 64, and Banjo Kazooie), and 4 Gameboy Colour games (Hamtaro, Pokemon Yellow (and the internal battery still works!), Mortal Kombat 2, and Monster Rancher Explorer). All that for $35.
Given that Most N64s at used game stores and conventions that i see go for about $50, and that's with no games and 2 controllers, I think I got a damn good deal. And now I have my own N64, my own copy of Banjo Kazooie, and 5 other games I've never had before. Plus those 4 GBC games.
Birthday and Fan Expo Canada and Canada Day
Posted 14 years agoA Wild Wall-of-Text has Appeared! *cue battle music*
Okay, so a few weeks ago it was my birthday. It was all fun and good. Since then, I've had exams, finished high school, visited family.
So, now it's the summer. Yay. It's also July 1st. For those of us in Canada, that means it's Canada day, and a holiday. For me, it also means it was the day to buy my Fan Expo Canada ticket. It's the one convention I can get to each year (although it's not a furry convention, just Anime, Comics, Gaming, Sci-fi, and Horror rolled into one. I've seen a suit or two there before, though.).
This year, due to how well (read, TERRIBLY) they handled the expo last year (read: moved from the larger North Building to the smaller South Building [from which they moved to the North building years ago because the event got to big], terrible ticket sale management, terrible customer service, terrible layout due to South Building, etc), they have moved back to the North Building (THANK GOD), rented all of the North Building (largest space for Fan Expo ever, apparently), extended it to 4 days. . .
Oh, and restricted the number of Premium (used to be called VIP) tickets (include a Deluxe Weekend Ticket, as well as a bag of goodies and free entry to all their events until July. Always has been restricted number of tickets) as the number of Deluxe Tickets (A weekend pass, like mentioned above). The Deluxe tickets have never before been restricted sale.
This could be a good thing or bad thing. This could mean the horrendous lines and crowding of last year will be gone (of course, by moving back to the North Building, they've fixed that anyways). Last Year, not only were there lines inside to use the escalator to get up to the dealer's room, the escalator broke down for a while. We also reached fire code and had a line over a hundred feet long and at least 5 people deep stuck outside the entrance doors to the convention. We couldn't leave the building to step ten feet and get a hotdog or we would NOT have been let back in.
Of course, this could also be bad, as people who seriously want to go all weekend (but, let's say are on vacation right now and can't buy their tickets), and miss out on the Weekend of Premium passes will have to buy a ticket for each day separate.
Let me demonstrate why this is bad with ticket prices (which change each year, generally getting higher, usually in relation to which high name guests are coming and how long the convention is):
Plain weekend pass (Deluxe Ticket): $85
Weekend + bonus gifts (Premium): $116
Daily (Thurs-Sun): $25, $30, $40, $30 Respectively (all together, $125 plus service charges)
My Grandmother bought my ticket this year (I grabbed one of the premium packages despite not being able to go to any other events this year due to University. I can always give the free access to a friend.) as a Birthday gift. Thankfully they were not sold out of them by morning. I look forward to the convention. I'll likely be consplaying an anime character, for those interested.
Also, to all the people who have watched me recently, thanks for the watches. They were unexpected.
You have caught Wall-of-Text. Dah duh duh. Dah de de de duh duh duh dah!
Okay, so a few weeks ago it was my birthday. It was all fun and good. Since then, I've had exams, finished high school, visited family.
So, now it's the summer. Yay. It's also July 1st. For those of us in Canada, that means it's Canada day, and a holiday. For me, it also means it was the day to buy my Fan Expo Canada ticket. It's the one convention I can get to each year (although it's not a furry convention, just Anime, Comics, Gaming, Sci-fi, and Horror rolled into one. I've seen a suit or two there before, though.).
This year, due to how well (read, TERRIBLY) they handled the expo last year (read: moved from the larger North Building to the smaller South Building [from which they moved to the North building years ago because the event got to big], terrible ticket sale management, terrible customer service, terrible layout due to South Building, etc), they have moved back to the North Building (THANK GOD), rented all of the North Building (largest space for Fan Expo ever, apparently), extended it to 4 days. . .
Oh, and restricted the number of Premium (used to be called VIP) tickets (include a Deluxe Weekend Ticket, as well as a bag of goodies and free entry to all their events until July. Always has been restricted number of tickets) as the number of Deluxe Tickets (A weekend pass, like mentioned above). The Deluxe tickets have never before been restricted sale.
This could be a good thing or bad thing. This could mean the horrendous lines and crowding of last year will be gone (of course, by moving back to the North Building, they've fixed that anyways). Last Year, not only were there lines inside to use the escalator to get up to the dealer's room, the escalator broke down for a while. We also reached fire code and had a line over a hundred feet long and at least 5 people deep stuck outside the entrance doors to the convention. We couldn't leave the building to step ten feet and get a hotdog or we would NOT have been let back in.
Of course, this could also be bad, as people who seriously want to go all weekend (but, let's say are on vacation right now and can't buy their tickets), and miss out on the Weekend of Premium passes will have to buy a ticket for each day separate.
Let me demonstrate why this is bad with ticket prices (which change each year, generally getting higher, usually in relation to which high name guests are coming and how long the convention is):
Plain weekend pass (Deluxe Ticket): $85
Weekend + bonus gifts (Premium): $116
Daily (Thurs-Sun): $25, $30, $40, $30 Respectively (all together, $125 plus service charges)
My Grandmother bought my ticket this year (I grabbed one of the premium packages despite not being able to go to any other events this year due to University. I can always give the free access to a friend.) as a Birthday gift. Thankfully they were not sold out of them by morning. I look forward to the convention. I'll likely be consplaying an anime character, for those interested.
Also, to all the people who have watched me recently, thanks for the watches. They were unexpected.
You have caught Wall-of-Text. Dah duh duh. Dah de de de duh duh duh dah!
New icon
Posted 14 years ago
gothwolfHuh
Posted 15 years agoLame title for my first FA journal, but whatever, I don't really care.
The reason for my title is this: plain confusion.
I never understood why people I watch sometimes watch me back. I've never really done such myself. Then again, I'm usually the one watching people, both here and on dA, not the other way around. I have theories:
a) they are grateful for the watch and feel like returning the favour
b) . . .
Well, I don't exactly have a reason b. I can't think of one.
Either way, I'm up to 5 watchers now, I think I feel obliged to actually get some art up here.
First things first, as new art may be a bit in the coming, I should upload the one or two good pieces from over on dA.
And I need to start drawing again. Just, since the last time I drew anything, I can't get muzzles to look right. Oh well, keep trying, I guess. It's the only thing I can do.
Well, for those that watch, thanks for the watches, hopefully you'll one day think it was worth it.
. . .
That day is going to be LONG in the coming.
The reason for my title is this: plain confusion.
I never understood why people I watch sometimes watch me back. I've never really done such myself. Then again, I'm usually the one watching people, both here and on dA, not the other way around. I have theories:
a) they are grateful for the watch and feel like returning the favour
b) . . .
Well, I don't exactly have a reason b. I can't think of one.
Either way, I'm up to 5 watchers now, I think I feel obliged to actually get some art up here.
First things first, as new art may be a bit in the coming, I should upload the one or two good pieces from over on dA.
And I need to start drawing again. Just, since the last time I drew anything, I can't get muzzles to look right. Oh well, keep trying, I guess. It's the only thing I can do.
Well, for those that watch, thanks for the watches, hopefully you'll one day think it was worth it.
. . .
That day is going to be LONG in the coming.
