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New life
Posted 14 years agoOh geez. o-O I'm sorry everyone for worrying you all!
I uploaded my last picture for this gallery, which is closure to let everyone know that I am fine. 1 year of college has passed and I made great new friends that accept me for who I am. I am going to a great college and living in a great town. I could never be happier and I wish everyone a happy life ^^ Remember not to live life in fear. I do not regret ever coming out to anyone. Whether it was my old friends, parents (which was unintentional), or the one who is now my boyfriend. >w<
Thank you all those who cared about me, were there for me in the past and those who continued to stick around. I appreciate it <3
I uploaded my last picture for this gallery, which is closure to let everyone know that I am fine. 1 year of college has passed and I made great new friends that accept me for who I am. I am going to a great college and living in a great town. I could never be happier and I wish everyone a happy life ^^ Remember not to live life in fear. I do not regret ever coming out to anyone. Whether it was my old friends, parents (which was unintentional), or the one who is now my boyfriend. >w<
Thank you all those who cared about me, were there for me in the past and those who continued to stick around. I appreciate it <3
Thanks Everyone
Posted 15 years agoThank you everyone for your comments and notes. Unfortunately i do not have the time to reply to them all u__u;; I am preparing for the move to my new college and I am staying in a dorm. I am excited for it all!
Some people have suggested that I should try to get in touch with Assle(Apple) again, but there is something I left out. During the arguement before we lost touch, he threatened to out me to everyone. I could never forgive him for that....
As for Gunner, we are trying to stay in touch through online, but I will never know when we will see each other again sadly .__.
Some people have suggested that I should try to get in touch with Assle(Apple) again, but there is something I left out. During the arguement before we lost touch, he threatened to out me to everyone. I could never forgive him for that....
As for Gunner, we are trying to stay in touch through online, but I will never know when we will see each other again sadly .__.
Explanation
Posted 15 years agoSchool ended about two months ago. Sorry I disappeared again. As soon as school ended, I went back home to my home country to visit relatives and old friends that I have not seen in years. My parents had this trip planned for years but we could not save enough money until now, but now that i'm going to college, they want to go before i do. It has been a wonderous experience to see everyone again. Some of my old friends have changed so much but deep inside they are still the same people I remembered them for back then. It was very touching.
Now I am back in California for a while now visiting colleges and universities around the US and I must prepare for college while enjoying the remainder of my summer vacation. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to hang out with anymore.. u__u
I appologize for disappearing on everyone. I wish to thank everyone that sent me notes of encouragement and messaged me! I am very sorry for making everyone worry about me... I should owe everyone an explanation of what has happened up until the end of the school year...
I think it was left off from when I found out that Apple had a girlfriend on Valentines day. Wow.. that was a long time ago... After it was discovered that he had a girlfriend, I had assumed that it was this one girl that was very sweet. I was fine with it, but when I had confronted Apple, I had discovered that it was actually this whore that went by the same name. I had a big problem with her because she had a bajillion boyfriends before Apple and all of them had only lasted a few weeks. She slept with all of them and broke up with them and whored herself around to other guys. It was unfortunate because knowing Apple, he was probably into the relationship. I was afraid that he might have not known about her stupid actions.
I tried to bring it up with Apple and we discussed it with our friends, but Apple claimed that it was different with him. After a while of arguing, I ended up saying things I should have not said and we stopped talking to each other. I still haven't spoken to him ever since.
With Gunner, it was a different story. A few months ago, Gunner's mom and dad had found out that he was bi somehow and they accused me of being gay and blamed me for his "corruption" and proceeded to accuse my parents for it. I don't wish to go into detail since it was just disastrous and it was the worst month of my life. Gunner's church "friends" made sure that Gunner could never see me or talk to me and they would spread rumors about me. I hated them. As for my parents, they weren't so hard on me about my sexual orientation, but they had only hoped that I would have told them and not someone else. They hoped that it was only a phase and I would grow out of it... I feel that they wished I was not gay since I was their only child...
As for Blue, he was just a bad friend. As soon as drama with Apple started, he was quick to hide from us and avoid us. When I finally came out to him when I needed him (after I had lost Apple and Gunner), he called me a faggot and accused me of probably touching him in his sleep at the sleepovers (which I do not) and other stuff. He was one "friend" I was happy to lose.
That was pretty much the story of what happened to my main circle of friends. I still have other people I know, but I am not as close to them. The last time I saw Apple, he was with that whore and her other whorefriends. Lets just say, he's not in a good position. From what I hear, he got her pregnant because of their stupidity and she's on her way to an abortion or something. That's just rumors though and I hope it hasn't become that bad...
As for Gunner, I'm uploading a picture about him now...
Thank you again everyone. I only wish things turned out differently... Hopefully I can move on and college would be better. I cannot promise that I will continue to use this account. I may or may not return due to college and the reminder this account holds...
Now I am back in California for a while now visiting colleges and universities around the US and I must prepare for college while enjoying the remainder of my summer vacation. Unfortunately I don't have anyone to hang out with anymore.. u__u
I appologize for disappearing on everyone. I wish to thank everyone that sent me notes of encouragement and messaged me! I am very sorry for making everyone worry about me... I should owe everyone an explanation of what has happened up until the end of the school year...
I think it was left off from when I found out that Apple had a girlfriend on Valentines day. Wow.. that was a long time ago... After it was discovered that he had a girlfriend, I had assumed that it was this one girl that was very sweet. I was fine with it, but when I had confronted Apple, I had discovered that it was actually this whore that went by the same name. I had a big problem with her because she had a bajillion boyfriends before Apple and all of them had only lasted a few weeks. She slept with all of them and broke up with them and whored herself around to other guys. It was unfortunate because knowing Apple, he was probably into the relationship. I was afraid that he might have not known about her stupid actions.
I tried to bring it up with Apple and we discussed it with our friends, but Apple claimed that it was different with him. After a while of arguing, I ended up saying things I should have not said and we stopped talking to each other. I still haven't spoken to him ever since.
With Gunner, it was a different story. A few months ago, Gunner's mom and dad had found out that he was bi somehow and they accused me of being gay and blamed me for his "corruption" and proceeded to accuse my parents for it. I don't wish to go into detail since it was just disastrous and it was the worst month of my life. Gunner's church "friends" made sure that Gunner could never see me or talk to me and they would spread rumors about me. I hated them. As for my parents, they weren't so hard on me about my sexual orientation, but they had only hoped that I would have told them and not someone else. They hoped that it was only a phase and I would grow out of it... I feel that they wished I was not gay since I was their only child...
As for Blue, he was just a bad friend. As soon as drama with Apple started, he was quick to hide from us and avoid us. When I finally came out to him when I needed him (after I had lost Apple and Gunner), he called me a faggot and accused me of probably touching him in his sleep at the sleepovers (which I do not) and other stuff. He was one "friend" I was happy to lose.
That was pretty much the story of what happened to my main circle of friends. I still have other people I know, but I am not as close to them. The last time I saw Apple, he was with that whore and her other whorefriends. Lets just say, he's not in a good position. From what I hear, he got her pregnant because of their stupidity and she's on her way to an abortion or something. That's just rumors though and I hope it hasn't become that bad...
As for Gunner, I'm uploading a picture about him now...
Thank you again everyone. I only wish things turned out differently... Hopefully I can move on and college would be better. I cannot promise that I will continue to use this account. I may or may not return due to college and the reminder this account holds...
Still Alive
Posted 15 years agoHey... just dropping by to let everyone know that I'm still here.. (and alive)
I should have said something to let you all not worry and I probably have a lot of explaining to do for disappearing. Lets just say that a lot of things have happened in the last two months and at this point, I'm just wishing for this school year to end already. Only about a month left...
It's been so long since I gone back here. I'm so overwhelmed by all the messages (both emotionally and literally) and support that I have gotten from you all. It was so unfair to you all for me to disappear like this. I'm sorry everyone...
I've tried lots of times to draw something or say something to tell you all but with what happened a while back I lost all motivation to do anything. I've just been so depressed and devastated lately. I wish I could just start everything all over again and do things differently.
I've lost my friends and I'm alone now...
I should have said something to let you all not worry and I probably have a lot of explaining to do for disappearing. Lets just say that a lot of things have happened in the last two months and at this point, I'm just wishing for this school year to end already. Only about a month left...
It's been so long since I gone back here. I'm so overwhelmed by all the messages (both emotionally and literally) and support that I have gotten from you all. It was so unfair to you all for me to disappear like this. I'm sorry everyone...
I've tried lots of times to draw something or say something to tell you all but with what happened a while back I lost all motivation to do anything. I've just been so depressed and devastated lately. I wish I could just start everything all over again and do things differently.
I've lost my friends and I'm alone now...
My first survey!
Posted 15 years agoTagged by 
Ja-kel
Doing this survey because I am bored and I want to take my mind off of things.
***Because I wish to remain unknown, I have corrupted some of the information you see here.
01. 1Re43a6l na85m4e → adjn3g45k1j7a5nrkn -identity protected-
002. Nickname(s)→ Fifty
003. Zodiac sign → Sagittarius
004. Male or female → Male
005. Elementary → I schooled in the Philippines.
006. Middle School → I came over here for 7th Grade.
007. 3Hi4gh S7c5ho4ol → aj9k65f7ha1kjs35dnf -information protected-
008. Hair color → Black
009. Long or short → Medium.. at least 3" long. I also style it. =)
010. Loud or Quiet → Quiet
011. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
012. Phone or Camera → Phone
013. Health freak → Not really. I wish to be, but I cannot pry away from delicious food. =(
014. Drink or Smoke? → None
015. Do you have a crush on someone? → Unhealthily
016. Eat or Drink → Eat
017. Piercings → Maybe? <.<
018. Tattoos → Maybe not..
HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane → On the way to America. Haven't been since..
020. Been in a relationship → No.. =(
021. Been in a car accident → Not that I know of
022. Been in a fist fight → When I was little and in Elementary. We didn't get to finish it. Teacher stopped it. =P
FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → None
024. First best friend → This one friend back in my home country. She'll be nicknamed Cricket. XD
025. First award → I've had some, but I don't remember my first <.<
026. First crush → This one boy in Elementary. I will call him Squishy. ^^;
028. First big vacation → LA and Universal Studio, but that was it.
029. Last person you talked to → My ma and pa?
030. Last person you IMed → Don't remember. Maybe Gunner.
031. Last person you watched a movie with → My younger cousins during Asian New Years. We watched UP.
032. Last food you ate → Bagel Bites. I'm still eating them.. (Late night snack)
033. Last movie you watched → uhhh UP.
034. Last song you listened to → Lisztomania by Phoenix.. now its on a new song.
035. Last thing you bought → Green Waffles at the New Years Festival. They're delicious.
036. Last person you hugged → My pillow... it has feelings too! Don't judge me D'=
FAVES:
037. Food → This is hard. Maybe Curry Fried Rice or Steak
038. Drinks → Any kind of slushie drink. Like Icee or the 7/11 drinks.
039. Clothing → I like polo shirts.
040. Books → I've been reading some manga online. Does that count?
041. Music → Post Rock music is my fave, but I listen to about anything.
042. Flowers → I never really thought about this.. Uhhh.. Daffodils? What do those look like again? OTL;;
043. Colors → Green! ^w^
044. Movies → It changes, but right now UP is really good. ^^
045. Positions → I sleep on my left side usually. Is this what this question is about?
046. Subjects → Science is interesting me right now. It use to be history, but I sleep in that class now.. u.u;;
IN 2009 I....
047. [] kissed in the snow.
048. [x] celebrated Halloween
049. [x] had your heart broken
050. [] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [x] someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [x] Came out of the closet
053. [x] gotten pregnant
054. [x] had an abortion
055. [x] done something you've regretted
056. [x] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [] met someone who changed your life.
060. [] pretended to be sick.
061. [] left the country
062. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it.
063. [] traveled to high mountains.
064. [] ran a lot on the beach
065. [] live on a beach
066. [x] stayed single a whole year
CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → Bagel Bites. I'm on my last piece!
068. Drinking → Nothing
069. I'm about to → Type out the answer to this question... Done!
070. Listening to → Animal by Neon Trees. It's a really good song ^^
071. Plans for today → I need to sleep, then wake up and find something to do. Probably play more games.
072. Waiting for → Etrian Odyssey 3 to come out. Even though I didnt finish 2 or 1.. =(
YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → Not really. They're okay..
074. Want to get married? → If they legalize gay marriage?
075. Careers in mind → Something to do with medical probably?
OR OR:
076. Lips or eyes → Eyes
077. Shorter or taller? → Short
078. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic is nice.
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → Stomach ^^;
080. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive
081. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → Hesitant.. Wait.. are these questions about me or the other person? @~@
HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → I don't wear them.
084. Ran away from home → We have urges sometimes. u__u
086. Killed somebody/thing → How do you kill some"thing"? Oh.. well I killed my iPod last year <<;;
087. Broken someone's heart → This one girl.. u___u;;;;;
088. Been arrested → Nope
089. Cried when someone died → I felt sad.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → Usually
091. Miracles → No
092. Love at first sight → Yes
093. Heaven → No, but I like to think about the afterlife. Wouldn't it be cool if we reincarnated in our own lives again, but with SUPERPOWERS *O*
094. Santa Claus → No, but my ma still writes his name on my presents... @w@ (as a joke)
095. Sex on the first date → Wah? So random. I guess its okay? It's a little fast. ^^;
096. Kiss on the first date → Of course!
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → YES. u__u;;;
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → I guess it's better than before?
099. Do you believe in God → No, but I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster <3
100. Would you wear a fursuit During sex → It sounds uncomfortable...
Wait.. is that it? Is that all the questions?! No grand finale question? I was just getting warmed up! D'=
Ja-kelDoing this survey because I am bored and I want to take my mind off of things.
***Because I wish to remain unknown, I have corrupted some of the information you see here.
01. 1Re43a6l na85m4e → adjn3g45k1j7a5nrkn -identity protected-
002. Nickname(s)→ Fifty
003. Zodiac sign → Sagittarius
004. Male or female → Male
005. Elementary → I schooled in the Philippines.
006. Middle School → I came over here for 7th Grade.
007. 3Hi4gh S7c5ho4ol → aj9k65f7ha1kjs35dnf -information protected-
008. Hair color → Black
009. Long or short → Medium.. at least 3" long. I also style it. =)
010. Loud or Quiet → Quiet
011. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
012. Phone or Camera → Phone
013. Health freak → Not really. I wish to be, but I cannot pry away from delicious food. =(
014. Drink or Smoke? → None
015. Do you have a crush on someone? → Unhealthily
016. Eat or Drink → Eat
017. Piercings → Maybe? <.<
018. Tattoos → Maybe not..
HAVE YOU EVER?
019. Been in an airplane → On the way to America. Haven't been since..
020. Been in a relationship → No.. =(
021. Been in a car accident → Not that I know of
022. Been in a fist fight → When I was little and in Elementary. We didn't get to finish it. Teacher stopped it. =P
FIRSTS:
023. First piercing → None
024. First best friend → This one friend back in my home country. She'll be nicknamed Cricket. XD
025. First award → I've had some, but I don't remember my first <.<
026. First crush → This one boy in Elementary. I will call him Squishy. ^^;
028. First big vacation → LA and Universal Studio, but that was it.
029. Last person you talked to → My ma and pa?
030. Last person you IMed → Don't remember. Maybe Gunner.
031. Last person you watched a movie with → My younger cousins during Asian New Years. We watched UP.
032. Last food you ate → Bagel Bites. I'm still eating them.. (Late night snack)
033. Last movie you watched → uhhh UP.
034. Last song you listened to → Lisztomania by Phoenix.. now its on a new song.
035. Last thing you bought → Green Waffles at the New Years Festival. They're delicious.
036. Last person you hugged → My pillow... it has feelings too! Don't judge me D'=
FAVES:
037. Food → This is hard. Maybe Curry Fried Rice or Steak
038. Drinks → Any kind of slushie drink. Like Icee or the 7/11 drinks.
039. Clothing → I like polo shirts.
040. Books → I've been reading some manga online. Does that count?
041. Music → Post Rock music is my fave, but I listen to about anything.
042. Flowers → I never really thought about this.. Uhhh.. Daffodils? What do those look like again? OTL;;
043. Colors → Green! ^w^
044. Movies → It changes, but right now UP is really good. ^^
045. Positions → I sleep on my left side usually. Is this what this question is about?
046. Subjects → Science is interesting me right now. It use to be history, but I sleep in that class now.. u.u;;
IN 2009 I....
047. [] kissed in the snow.
048. [x] celebrated Halloween
049. [x] had your heart broken
050. [] went over the minutes on your cell phone
051. [x] someone questioned your sexual orientation
052. [x] Came out of the closet
053. [x] gotten pregnant
054. [x] had an abortion
055. [x] done something you've regretted
056. [x] broke a promise
057. [x] hid a secret
058. [x] pretended to be happy
059. [] met someone who changed your life.
060. [] pretended to be sick.
061. [] left the country
062. [x] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it.
063. [] traveled to high mountains.
064. [] ran a lot on the beach
065. [] live on a beach
066. [x] stayed single a whole year
CURRENTLY:
067. Eating → Bagel Bites. I'm on my last piece!
068. Drinking → Nothing
069. I'm about to → Type out the answer to this question... Done!
070. Listening to → Animal by Neon Trees. It's a really good song ^^
071. Plans for today → I need to sleep, then wake up and find something to do. Probably play more games.
072. Waiting for → Etrian Odyssey 3 to come out. Even though I didnt finish 2 or 1.. =(
YOUR FUTURE:
073. Want kids? → Not really. They're okay..
074. Want to get married? → If they legalize gay marriage?
075. Careers in mind → Something to do with medical probably?
OR OR:
076. Lips or eyes → Eyes
077. Shorter or taller? → Short
078. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic is nice.
079. Nice stomach or nice arms → Stomach ^^;
080. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive
081. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
082. Trouble-maker or hesitant → Hesitant.. Wait.. are these questions about me or the other person? @~@
HAVE YOU EVER:
083. Lost glasses/contacts → I don't wear them.
084. Ran away from home → We have urges sometimes. u__u
086. Killed somebody/thing → How do you kill some"thing"? Oh.. well I killed my iPod last year <<;;
087. Broken someone's heart → This one girl.. u___u;;;;;
088. Been arrested → Nope
089. Cried when someone died → I felt sad.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090. Yourself → Usually
091. Miracles → No
092. Love at first sight → Yes
093. Heaven → No, but I like to think about the afterlife. Wouldn't it be cool if we reincarnated in our own lives again, but with SUPERPOWERS *O*
094. Santa Claus → No, but my ma still writes his name on my presents... @w@ (as a joke)
095. Sex on the first date → Wah? So random. I guess its okay? It's a little fast. ^^;
096. Kiss on the first date → Of course!
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → YES. u__u;;;
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → I guess it's better than before?
099. Do you believe in God → No, but I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster <3
100. Would you wear a fursuit During sex → It sounds uncomfortable...
Wait.. is that it? Is that all the questions?! No grand finale question? I was just getting warmed up! D'=
Inspired!
Posted 15 years agoHello everyone! Sorry for not uploading anything in a long time u__u;;;
I just had some inspiration today! ^^ I decided to pick up my courage and go to the Rainbow Alliance club at my school during their meeting at lunch just to see what it was like. Some people were surprised to see me there! (And I was surprised to see someone I knew there too! ^^) It was really nervousing! So I sat with the person that I knew so I wouldn't be alone. The group was sharing coming out stories for fun as an activity. One of the stories sounded like my story to coming out to Gunner! XD When it was my turn, I shared my coming out to Gunner. They were saddened but surprised at the end. XD
One story that really inspiring to me was this one where one of them came out to their crush. Then in the end, their crush turned out to like them too! They're boyfriends now! It was really sweet! >w<
So I decided that tomorrow, I am going to come out to Apple no matter what! It has been much too long and it is almost Valentines day! I was thinking about taking him to Jamba Juice and while we drink and chat, I can try to steer the conversation into my favor and come out to him then! >w< Wish me luck! ^__^
I just had some inspiration today! ^^ I decided to pick up my courage and go to the Rainbow Alliance club at my school during their meeting at lunch just to see what it was like. Some people were surprised to see me there! (And I was surprised to see someone I knew there too! ^^) It was really nervousing! So I sat with the person that I knew so I wouldn't be alone. The group was sharing coming out stories for fun as an activity. One of the stories sounded like my story to coming out to Gunner! XD When it was my turn, I shared my coming out to Gunner. They were saddened but surprised at the end. XD
One story that really inspiring to me was this one where one of them came out to their crush. Then in the end, their crush turned out to like them too! They're boyfriends now! It was really sweet! >w<
So I decided that tomorrow, I am going to come out to Apple no matter what! It has been much too long and it is almost Valentines day! I was thinking about taking him to Jamba Juice and while we drink and chat, I can try to steer the conversation into my favor and come out to him then! >w< Wish me luck! ^__^
I'm back for a while!
Posted 15 years agoSorry for suddenly disappearing. IM NOT DEAD!! ^^;;;
I've just been out having fun with friends all winter break and occupied with games. Then school started up again and I became busy. Sorta been neglecting this account. ><;; SORRY!!
I came on and found out I had 100+ submissions and messages to look through! So much!
Well, I hope I didnt make anyone worries! SORRY AGAIN. ><;;
I'll try and update with random life experiences of mine again. I still have some fun moments to share from my previous school years and last summer. ^^
I've just been out having fun with friends all winter break and occupied with games. Then school started up again and I became busy. Sorta been neglecting this account. ><;; SORRY!!
I came on and found out I had 100+ submissions and messages to look through! So much!
Well, I hope I didnt make anyone worries! SORRY AGAIN. ><;;
I'll try and update with random life experiences of mine again. I still have some fun moments to share from my previous school years and last summer. ^^
Happy Thanksgiving to Everyone!
Posted 16 years agoFirst of all, sorry for not having replied to all of my comments! ><; I have been terribly busy coming back from vacation. I just finished a big project assigned by my history teacher due for when I return and I wanted to finish it before Thanksgiving so I do not have to worry. Which is why I am up late tonight.. u__u;
So I just want to say thank you to all the Happy Birthday comments I have received in my previous journal!! I appologize that I could not thank you all personally. ><;
Also, Happy Thanksgiving to everybody! I also wanted to draw a picture for today, but I did not have the time. =( I am really thankful to eveyone who has supported me and complimented me and appreciated me in the last few months! Because of you all, I got to come out to my friend, Gunner, and still have him as a friend! So thank you all again!! ^w^
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Happy Thanksgiving! -gives thanks- ^^
PS. I hope to get back on track with FA after Thanksgiving! ^^
So I just want to say thank you to all the Happy Birthday comments I have received in my previous journal!! I appologize that I could not thank you all personally. ><;
Also, Happy Thanksgiving to everybody! I also wanted to draw a picture for today, but I did not have the time. =( I am really thankful to eveyone who has supported me and complimented me and appreciated me in the last few months! Because of you all, I got to come out to my friend, Gunner, and still have him as a friend! So thank you all again!! ^w^
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Happy Thanksgiving! -gives thanks- ^^
PS. I hope to get back on track with FA after Thanksgiving! ^^
Happy Birthday to Meeee =3
Posted 16 years agoHey all! I apologize for my long hiatus. u__u I was away out of town on the weekends and I only recently came back yesterday. I went to visit my younger cousins down south in LA! ^^ They're internet is really bad, and I mean really really really slow, so I gave up going online. =P
Well today is my 19th Birthday!!! I just came back frome eating out with my friends! We didn't go to Chilis for the free milkshake though but we went to ToDai for a free dinner (for myself) instead!! \(^o^)/ Now I am at home again and I really miss drawing so I willl try to draw something soon!
I will try to get through my messages and notes soon. I have a lot @_@;;
Well today is my 19th Birthday!!! I just came back frome eating out with my friends! We didn't go to Chilis for the free milkshake though but we went to ToDai for a free dinner (for myself) instead!! \(^o^)/ Now I am at home again and I really miss drawing so I willl try to draw something soon!
I will try to get through my messages and notes soon. I have a lot @_@;;
Where. In The World. Is. Carmen San Diego?
Posted 16 years agoOr in this case. Fifty4. ^^;
Sorry to have disappeared on everyone! u__u;;; I just updating to let you all know that I am alive and well and will upload something happy later. ^^
PS. My birthday is coming up soon and I am turning 19! *Is EXCITED* Going out to eat at Chilis with friends on that day and get a free milkshake! >w<
Sorry to have disappeared on everyone! u__u;;; I just updating to let you all know that I am alive and well and will upload something happy later. ^^
PS. My birthday is coming up soon and I am turning 19! *Is EXCITED* Going out to eat at Chilis with friends on that day and get a free milkshake! >w<
Good Mood!
Posted 16 years agoHello everyone! I am sorry for the late update! I came home late from Blue's house and I am in a good mood today because I have good news! ^^
Gunner talked to me again!!! ^^
There is also bad news as well, but I will get to that. So yesterday, Gunner continued not talking to me and avoiding me. I was really worried and I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't bring myself to. u__u So we just ended up not talking to each other again. Today, he started talking to me again! I was really surprised because he came up to me. He told me he was sorry for the past for ignoring. He told me he still wanted me to be friends with him. I was sort of curious because he didnt say anything about me being gay. But today was really happy and joyous and all of us started talking together normally again. I was happy that nothing changed. ^w^
Then afterschool, we walked to Blue's house like always and we all hung out. We played games and talked and went around outside and the usual things we do. ^^ Then when it was night, I went to Gunner's house like I usually do and we hung out again. I was really happy. Then came the bad news. As we were talking, the topic went around to his family being really strict about gay and things. He told me how his family is very into Christian and how they do not tolerate gay people. Gunner told me about how confused about his feelings he was and then he CAME OUT TO ME. O___O
I never felt so happy and very surprised, then suddenly so sad and worried for him. He told me he was bi and how he likes girls, but at times he has also liked guys. He has been staying away from me because he has been very confused about his feelings and afraid. He made it clear that he does not have a crush on me, but how me coming out to him has made him realised himself. He wanted to tell me so that we are even.
Now I feel really really worried for him. u__u He says he will most likely marry a girl mostly just to please his parents though. I am glad that we both share the same secret though, but that I am gay.
Anyway I am okay now. ^^ Agan thank you for all your support and advice that you have given me. <3
Gunner talked to me again!!! ^^
There is also bad news as well, but I will get to that. So yesterday, Gunner continued not talking to me and avoiding me. I was really worried and I wanted to talk to him, but I couldn't bring myself to. u__u So we just ended up not talking to each other again. Today, he started talking to me again! I was really surprised because he came up to me. He told me he was sorry for the past for ignoring. He told me he still wanted me to be friends with him. I was sort of curious because he didnt say anything about me being gay. But today was really happy and joyous and all of us started talking together normally again. I was happy that nothing changed. ^w^
Then afterschool, we walked to Blue's house like always and we all hung out. We played games and talked and went around outside and the usual things we do. ^^ Then when it was night, I went to Gunner's house like I usually do and we hung out again. I was really happy. Then came the bad news. As we were talking, the topic went around to his family being really strict about gay and things. He told me how his family is very into Christian and how they do not tolerate gay people. Gunner told me about how confused about his feelings he was and then he CAME OUT TO ME. O___O
I never felt so happy and very surprised, then suddenly so sad and worried for him. He told me he was bi and how he likes girls, but at times he has also liked guys. He has been staying away from me because he has been very confused about his feelings and afraid. He made it clear that he does not have a crush on me, but how me coming out to him has made him realised himself. He wanted to tell me so that we are even.
Now I feel really really worried for him. u__u He says he will most likely marry a girl mostly just to please his parents though. I am glad that we both share the same secret though, but that I am gay.
Anyway I am okay now. ^^ Agan thank you for all your support and advice that you have given me. <3
Update on Gunner
Posted 16 years agoAfter have reading all of the support and the kind words, I am feeling better and a little more confident. Thank you to everyone. <3
Today, Gunner showed up to school, but he wasn't his usual self. I'm starting to feel a little worried.. In between the first and second period, we would meet up and walk to our next classes together. He wasn't where we usually meet up. I think he walked ahead without me. He stayed with us during lunch, but he didn't talk too much... It made me feel sad. Afterschool, he took the bus home instead.
I really do not think he is wanting to break our friendship. I want to give him space for him to think and I'll wait for him when he is ready..
Today, Gunner showed up to school, but he wasn't his usual self. I'm starting to feel a little worried.. In between the first and second period, we would meet up and walk to our next classes together. He wasn't where we usually meet up. I think he walked ahead without me. He stayed with us during lunch, but he didn't talk too much... It made me feel sad. Afterschool, he took the bus home instead.
I really do not think he is wanting to break our friendship. I want to give him space for him to think and I'll wait for him when he is ready..
Thank You for the Support
Posted 16 years agoThank you to everybody for your comfort and support. I'm feeling a little better since yesterday, at least enough to say what happened. Sorry for not saying sooner..
I remember most of its details.
Yesterday afterschool, me and my friend Gunner walked home from school as usual. We were talking about normal things that we usually talked about. The new Call of Duty coming out, homework that night, stuff.. Then there he sorta stopped talking as he was thinking to himself probably. It was that awkward silence an we hadn't had for a long time.
Then he started talking about girls and asking me what kind of girls I liked. He asked this question plenty of times before, but that was a long time ago. I just answered what I usually say.. Then he asked me why I never talk about my crushes to him. I just told him I didn't have anyone in mind yet. Then he paused again.. I was really nervous and he asked me why I was clingy to Apple during Halloween and other times. By now, I knew he was headed and I felt like I was about to cry... I thought this was the right time to tell him and to be honest since I was holding off on it for too long.. I could tell he was looking at me and I was trying not to look at him. And I told him that it was because "I like guys.." Then It was quiet and it felt like the longest time in my life. I really was about to cry at this point and I tried to hold it back.
When we got to my house, he just went home but he usually stays for a while. I tried calling him, but he never picked up each time. So I went to sleep for the rest of the day.
Today at school, he didnt come to school. He didn't pick up when I called, but he told my friends that he was sick so he didn't come.. I'm scared that he's mad at me or feels betrayed by me. I can understand since I've been lying to him for the past three years. I'm just really really scared of losing him.. He was my first real closest friend and my best friend since I came here.
I'm sorry for writing a lot.. I very much appreciate all of the support and comfort from everybody. Thank you again. I will get to replying to all of the comments and notes I have received.
I remember most of its details.
Yesterday afterschool, me and my friend Gunner walked home from school as usual. We were talking about normal things that we usually talked about. The new Call of Duty coming out, homework that night, stuff.. Then there he sorta stopped talking as he was thinking to himself probably. It was that awkward silence an we hadn't had for a long time.
Then he started talking about girls and asking me what kind of girls I liked. He asked this question plenty of times before, but that was a long time ago. I just answered what I usually say.. Then he asked me why I never talk about my crushes to him. I just told him I didn't have anyone in mind yet. Then he paused again.. I was really nervous and he asked me why I was clingy to Apple during Halloween and other times. By now, I knew he was headed and I felt like I was about to cry... I thought this was the right time to tell him and to be honest since I was holding off on it for too long.. I could tell he was looking at me and I was trying not to look at him. And I told him that it was because "I like guys.." Then It was quiet and it felt like the longest time in my life. I really was about to cry at this point and I tried to hold it back.
When we got to my house, he just went home but he usually stays for a while. I tried calling him, but he never picked up each time. So I went to sleep for the rest of the day.
Today at school, he didnt come to school. He didn't pick up when I called, but he told my friends that he was sick so he didn't come.. I'm scared that he's mad at me or feels betrayed by me. I can understand since I've been lying to him for the past three years. I'm just really really scared of losing him.. He was my first real closest friend and my best friend since I came here.
I'm sorry for writing a lot.. I very much appreciate all of the support and comfort from everybody. Thank you again. I will get to replying to all of the comments and notes I have received.
Happy Halloween!
Posted 16 years agoHappy Halloween to Everyone! \(^o^)/
So today is halloween finally! This week has been very very busy with school, tests and projects. Which is why you seen no new drawings from me this week.. u__u; The week is finally over and I drew a halloween special pic while everyone was at Blue's house yesterday! ^__^
What are all of your guys's plans this weekend? Going to parties? Hanging out with friends/family? The classic trick or treat? Planning on getting lots of candies? ^^
PS, there has been no progression in coming out to any of my friends this week, but I'll try next week!
So today is halloween finally! This week has been very very busy with school, tests and projects. Which is why you seen no new drawings from me this week.. u__u; The week is finally over and I drew a halloween special pic while everyone was at Blue's house yesterday! ^__^
What are all of your guys's plans this weekend? Going to parties? Hanging out with friends/family? The classic trick or treat? Planning on getting lots of candies? ^^
PS, there has been no progression in coming out to any of my friends this week, but I'll try next week!
Thanks to Everyone!
Posted 16 years agoThanks to everyone that welcomed me warmly to FA and talked to me! ^^ It hasn't been a week and I already feel at home.
I just want to say thanks for all the advice and encouragement given to me from my latest submissions and journal. I've decided that my goal for this school year would be to come out to all of my friends before the end of senior year, before we all go our separate ways to college. I hope all goes well! =)
I just want to say thanks for all the advice and encouragement given to me from my latest submissions and journal. I've decided that my goal for this school year would be to come out to all of my friends before the end of senior year, before we all go our separate ways to college. I hope all goes well! =)
About Me
Posted 16 years agoI dont know what to use this journal for. It seems a little boring to just talk about my day. Maybe I'll find some good uses for it in the future. For now, I'll just write up a little bit about myself as an introduction.
Anyway, I came to America at the start of my 8th grade, but because I had trouble with english, I was moved to 7th grade. It wasn't too bad since I didn't know anyone anyway. Plus, that's one year extra before actual college. I'm in Senior year of High School, right before college right now. I've been here for about 5 years, going on 6th.
I like to draw as a hobbie. I dont really have any ambition to become a comic artist or an animator. My real dream is to become a veterinarian since I love pets, although my family is too poor to raise one. =( I often play with my cousin's dogs and cats though.
I have a few friends in my outside life, but not of them knows that I am gay or furry. I think I'm the only one in my group. One of my friends who I drew in my recent submission has been my friend for longest. He likes to talk about girls though, which makes it a little hard to be around him. u__u Honestly, I'm afraid to tell him anything about me, because he might feel betrayed. I've always agreed with him about girls and we even looked at "stuff" together.
I don't want to make this too long, so I will stop here.
Anyway, I came to America at the start of my 8th grade, but because I had trouble with english, I was moved to 7th grade. It wasn't too bad since I didn't know anyone anyway. Plus, that's one year extra before actual college. I'm in Senior year of High School, right before college right now. I've been here for about 5 years, going on 6th.
I like to draw as a hobbie. I dont really have any ambition to become a comic artist or an animator. My real dream is to become a veterinarian since I love pets, although my family is too poor to raise one. =( I often play with my cousin's dogs and cats though.
I have a few friends in my outside life, but not of them knows that I am gay or furry. I think I'm the only one in my group. One of my friends who I drew in my recent submission has been my friend for longest. He likes to talk about girls though, which makes it a little hard to be around him. u__u Honestly, I'm afraid to tell him anything about me, because he might feel betrayed. I've always agreed with him about girls and we even looked at "stuff" together.
I don't want to make this too long, so I will stop here.
New to FA!
Posted 16 years agoHey everyone,
This is my first account in FA. I am not so new, since I have watching a few artists around for a while. I much enjoy the art around here. :]
First of all, I appologize for my english. I am not born here, and I only came here in the 8th grade. It's been 4 years and I am getting good at englsh! ^^ My friends tell me they can understand me well enough so hopefully you guys can too!
So anyway, my fursona is a mix of Welsh Corgi and a cat. I really love Corgi, but I cannot draw dogs for my life. They end up looking like cats. u__u So I made a Corgi Cat! I still think it is cute. :3 I am slightly chubby, so is my fursona. Our favorite color is green. I will make another drawing with my fursona wearing my real clothes soon!
Anyway, I will be going around watching my favorite artists now, so bye! ^^
** Thank you for all the heart warming comments! I am already liking this community. n__n<3
This is my first account in FA. I am not so new, since I have watching a few artists around for a while. I much enjoy the art around here. :]
First of all, I appologize for my english. I am not born here, and I only came here in the 8th grade. It's been 4 years and I am getting good at englsh! ^^ My friends tell me they can understand me well enough so hopefully you guys can too!
So anyway, my fursona is a mix of Welsh Corgi and a cat. I really love Corgi, but I cannot draw dogs for my life. They end up looking like cats. u__u So I made a Corgi Cat! I still think it is cute. :3 I am slightly chubby, so is my fursona. Our favorite color is green. I will make another drawing with my fursona wearing my real clothes soon!
Anyway, I will be going around watching my favorite artists now, so bye! ^^
** Thank you for all the heart warming comments! I am already liking this community. n__n<3
