Hey so I don't know if anyone still remembers me or not, but I'm miraculously still alive even though my mind is saying that it isn't good to be alive because of what happened last year and a bunch of things that caused it too...

What happened was, Twitter and the site itself literally caused me to spiral down to a huge depressive state as well as suicidal to the point that I not only flaked out on my 2 commissioners (for that, I am REALLY, truely sorry that I did such an unprofessional thing to you all, and I do understand if you don't want to work with me anymore because of what I did and broke my own TOS in not keeping contact with you all...), but also to the point that emotional rejection trauma made me forget how to draw on the computer... At the same time, I also had a part-time job as a server and focused my energy on it to the point I was too tired to even draw...And it also made me go into MORE of a stressful and depressive state since I should have known that going into the food industry is the worst for my mental health as well as physical...
At the moment, I am on welfare and unemployed, and still waiting on them to find and get me a mental clinic because Japan is INCREDIBLY slow in finding one and it's been about 9-10 months since I requested for one! (I don't know if it has anything to do with the multiple people also on welfare trying to find medical help, if we have a HUGE lack of mental clinics because Japan still isn't on the mental health wellness bandwagon, or if it is REALLY hard to find an English-speaking doctor who is a woman in my area that I requested...)

And much as I want to work on commissions again, I am not confident in my mental health at all if it decides to sabotage itself while I try to work... Because through self-diagnosing myself, I found out that I might have ADHD, but DEFINITELY do have Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and Executive Dysfunction Disorder. RSD is the reason why anything I perceive as rejection, criticism, and anything negative happening to me, my anxiety and panicking skyrockets and I can't control my depressive episodes due to it... Also, being a people pleaser (which is actually part of ADHD, I learned) of getting worried I made people mad at me for waiting and not doing/being REALLY slow to any work to the point I just lose energy ... Also triggers my depression and stress too... Right now, while waiting for them to get back at me for finding a clinic, all I can do is read up some ADHD Life Hacks and try them out on myself in order to take control of it for the time being. As well as, I have to curb back on what triggers my mental depression and stuff in order to heal and function properly... Which is why I had to unfollow/not favorite any artwork that I feel, is a level higher than my skill level because then I start comparing myself which makes my RSD and other mental factors flood out due to my terrible self-confidence issues. I know that would feel insulting to people, but for the sake of MY mental health, I feel like it's for the best...

As well, I know that there are some people still waiting on their free art as well as their unfinished commission, if you want the unfinished files or are okay with me REALLY slowly working on them bit by bit, please tell me.

That being said, I also wanted to say that after some thought and reading a certain animator's book, that I have decided to try and get back that 'joy of drawing' by drawing what I like and enjoy, which is basically kemonomimi guys. I know everyone came here to see me draw furries and stuff, but I'm finding that if I don't draw what I enjoy first, then it's hard for me to draw everyone else's art too. Please don't take this as me not enjoying furry art. I REALLY do enjoy drawing everyone's fursona and looking at them! And I really DO like drawing animals as well as the fact that I like a challenge in drawing them! It's just that I was also dealing with some Imposter Syndrome in that I felt like I was deceiving people in taking on certain animals that I felt I couldn't draw...when in reality, I just wanted to study that particular animal's structure thoroughly and at my own pace to get it right, but felt like I would be letting people down if they found out I was totally inexperienced and I relied on reference to draw, despite how 'good' my artwork looked... So for now, no furry art until I figure out myself art-wise. I'm really sorry for that...
I don't know if I will post my artwork here really, since this is a furry site and well... I don't know (or forgot...) if anyone is interested in seeing my original kemonomimi guy drawings really... (I might dump them at Twitter even though I hate that place but I don't know... )

Since this journal entry has gotten long, I will stop here. Again, I apologize to my commissioners that I unprofessionally bailed out on and stopped contact with, due to my mental disorder. For now, this place will be quiet again until I can get myself sorted out.

Fiorabeast

I know that I'm pretty much in the red, I know I still have two commissions I need to finish up, but all of a sudden I just feel really depressed about my art that I'm just considering AGAIN quitting and not doing any drawing anymore...
I don't know if it's because recently I went to Twitter and the place there just feels COLD for me (then again, I don't have any followers much...) and because of that I'm getting incredibly negative, the lack of sleep, or something but I'm just beginning to feel like I don't have any joy drawing anymore and it's better for me to complete quit and never comeback to it... Even though it might be a waste of everything I painstakingly tried to learn, the amount of art colleges I went to and stuff, but...

Like, I REALLY do appreciate all of you telling me how you love my art and stuff and it makes me happy a lot! But, also part of my brain and work ethic on working on art is so terrible that it's making me feel bad and depressed.... As well as, I'm just not really fast at completing work at all, and working on my own things to try and stave off this, makes me additionally feel guilty because I feel like I'm just not working and keeping my clients waiting (even though they said they are willing to wait but I just feel bad doing that too...)

I'm considering that after finishing up the two commissions I have waiting, that I might just stop drawing altogether because it's just... suddenly not making me happy like it use to and again... I don't know if it's again, because of the lack of sleep, Twitter causing me to act like this, or other factors...

Today I decided to just not draw completely and felt nothing but apathy (and when I announced on Twitter that I was thinking about quitting art, I only got one like and took it as a sign to do it... Even though I cried from it, but this is normal and for the best for me, right? It should be the right decision for me, right?

I apologize to everyone for this journal entry... I don't know if my mind will change if I get a clear head later or not but I don't think it will...

EDIT: Apparently it's accessible again and working fine, thank goodness! Thank you to  TheKC for telling me!

I'm not sure if this will clear up after I post this and it fixes itself tomorrow or something, but...
At the moment, I can't access the FA Forums for some odd reason... I was able to yesterday, but today it's like whatever proxy I'm using is blocking it. :/
Which is REALLY annoying because apparently I can log into it, BUT can't view or post my messages... Even reply via PMs too, and the problem with that is I'm keeping contact with a commissioner regarding their art (which is near completion) and I need to see their reply since their input is very important for me...

I don't if anyone has a solution to this problem or not, but it's making me anxious...

Anyways, if anyone knows a user named 'Behawolf' on the FA Forums, I would appreciate if someone can let them know that I can't access the forums at the time of this post due to the above... And if they can contact me via my gmail I provided on my commission sheet in my shop (fiorabeast7) or reply here on my gallery's shout page or PM (though, the Gmail is the best way) because I think they didn't provide me an alternate email or place for me to contact them when we started the commission... :(

Updating shortly to let people know that I'm SLOWLY still working on one of the current commissions due to my depression and mental health deciding to screw with me over working on art, among other things...

And I think I might have pinpointed what the heck my mental disorder/illness might be but this is just self-diagnosis and nothing concrete unless I actually go to a Mental Health specialist here in Japan (which, again, no money to actually go to one due to being unemployed and suffering mentally from job finding here as usual..).
I THINK, besides depression which I'm positive on, I might have ADHD but something called 'Inattentive ADHD' which.. Might explain WHY I sometimes have trouble focusing, concentrating and getting myself to work on my art properly until the end (both personal and commissions too), as well as forgetting and not being able to do certain things in real life anymore all of a sudden... Though, recently I feel like it has just gotten WAY more worse than before, and I'm currently trying to fight this at the moment...

Anyways, basically possible 'Inattentive ADHD' is screwing me over in working on art commissions properly, I'm still working on them while fighting on this, just to let you all know.

A million apologies for being very slow and pretty much being a fail-artist with a mental illness...

Updating to let people who commissioned me (and are waiting VERY patiently for their artwork, I seriously apologize multiple times to all of you...) that unfortunately, my body decided on a Tuesday to NOT let me draw and work for a whole week by suddenly shutting me down with extreme tiredness and fatigue (among other sudden health problems) to the point that I'm still not 100% better and just strangely out of it...
And, I have no clue if it's a cold/flu, something seasonal due to ANOTHER weather change here in Japan, or my body just reacting negatively to something recent* as a defense mechanism and decided that 'shutting down' is the answer to it. -_-;
And, since I don't have the extra expense to go to a doctor to check and confirm, all I can do is try to slowly heal myself by resting and not pushing myself... T_T

I don't know what else to say, other than I'm really sorry for me being in constant poor health all the time and not completing art fast enough so that this doesn't happen...
(I'm actually considering, after finishing up the 3 remaining commissions currently, that I stop doing them for a while until I'm stable health and mental-wise. Completing free art will continue as planned but at a slower pace).

*Recently went for a job interview for line cook but I forgot that the place allows smoking for customers and I actually have bad sensitivity to that so... Getting exposed to that while being interviewed might have been the cause for my body breaking down as well as cold sores appearing afterwards.

Hello all!

Still working on commissions due to my slow speed (as well as an 'urgent deadline commission' that will be completed soon), and trying to refrain from doing my own original work until I completely finish them, as well as the unfinished amount of freebies. Not to mention, part-time job hunting despite fears for my health and mental issues going crazy on me again if I do get hired...

Anyways, just a heads up, I will be posting my Inktober drawings here soon, considering at the time of this writing, it's now Halloween (Oct. 31st) here in Japan, so I figured before the first day of November arrives, I might as well post those up. So I apologize in advance if you get annoyed by the uploading of 4 pages of ink drawings (which, also another warning, usually I draw in the anime style but these ones are completely different in art style than what I usually draw).

Thank you very much for your consideration!

Hi everyone!
I just want to apologize to you and those who watch me about the lack of new and original artwork for the past months...

At the moment, this is due to me trying to work and complete my three, current commissions as fast as my slow art speed and health can... Much as I would love to post up some new art I did, I have a rule I placed on myself in which I do NOT post up anything of my own work while I'm working on commissions because it would feel very rude to my customers and clients who are waiting VERY patiently for me to complete their work individually. I MIGHT post up my Inktober stuff I did as a 'warm-up' (before diving in to doing commissions) since October is ending soon...

For those waiting for your commissions, thank you VERY much for your patience and I REALLY apologize for making you wait... This is due to not only just have gotten hit with a fever and a flu recently, but also job hunting and just trying to find a good rhythm and speed for my current drawing abilities as I work, since my ADD and mental issues seriously hamper me a lot and I'm trying to figure out how to work around that...

So far:

Behawolf: Character Reference Sheet (At the lineart stages)

TornPaperDolls: Full-body Illustration (Rough sketching, posing and design stage)

Spottycatz: 2-character Icon, (Thumbnails, 2 at the moment)

(As well as some freebies I still owe a lot of furs in my previous art thread, and one in progress)

If you would like to cancel your commission due to my slow speed, I am okay with accepting that and apologize profusely...

Thank you very much!

EDIT: I forgot to mention this, but... Oh wow, 26 watchers! Thank you very much! I was planning to do a thank-you art for it, but of course I didn't prepare one... I might do one when I finish up some commissions and manage to find a part-time job hopefully.

TERMS OF SERVICE FOR COMMISSIONS
(ENGLISH VERSION)

By commissioning me in any way, you are agreeing to the terms of service below.
Any of the statements below can be negotiated prior to the commission.
If your commission is accepted, an email will be sent with the proof of the transaction. At this time, please verify that all information is correct.

Any changes MUST be made at this point.

I. GENERAL TERMS

Please be civil in all aspects of the commission. I will more than likely accept a commission that is written out clearly and easy to understand, as I know sometimes English is not everyone's first language.

Provide clear and clean references. A written description is ok, though a charge will incur accordingly for building your character from scratch depending on the complexity. If your reference is shaded, it would be appreciated if you would give a color reference swatch for easier matching.

Please do not be disrespectful or rude in anyway. Good manners will come a long way when I work with you.

If you fail to follow the rules provided, I have the right to decline your commission. I will not do so lightly, but these rules are in place for a reason.

If ordering a NSFW drawing, I require verification that you are OVER THE AGE OF 18 years and not a minor in this transation. I do not allow minors to commission NSFW art from me as not only is this illegal, but also due to legal problems arising from this and leading to possible closing of my art business.

If you are a minor commissioning art, I require a parent or guardian approved permission from them that you are allowed to purchase art from me, as well as if you are using their card or paypal to pay me from. I still require guardian or parental permission even if you will pay the commission yourself.

II. PAYMENT

When the sketch process is finalized and I have sent in a watermarked sample, I require partial payment first if the illustration is approved. After the final art is completed is when you, the commissioner sends the rest of the payment.

I only accept PayPal in USD (American Dollar) at the moment. When you pay with PayPal, I will send you the PayPal link when everything is finalized as the email address for the commission request is different from my Paypal account. Please do NOT send payment as 'Gift' but as 'Goods and Service' as well as an invoice for tax purposes.

If you want to pay via in another currency besides US dollars, please tell me so that I can adjust the currency exchange rate on the prices of your commission.

III. PROCESS

I require the commissioner tell me truthfully and communicate to me directly if the image isn't to their liking or if there needs to be a correction to the art during the sketch process. If you suddenly change your mind on something beyond the sketch stage, a charged fee will incur depending on how big of a change it is.

Work In Progress will be given for half and full-body illustrations, or if the commissioner personally asks for it. WIPs might be given by me as well if I have a question or to check if you are okay with the progress of your commission.
If you specifically do NOT want a WIP, please let me know beforehand and I will make sure to keep it a surprise.

Depending on the commission, it might take a few days to a month or so depending on the type of work ordered as well as due to part-time job, my speed in drawing, as well as some mental and health issues. Though there might be some exceptions.
Please keep in mind that I am human, and it might take more time to complete a commission if something comes up.

I'll let you know if there is anything that might make a commission take longer. But, please feel free to send me a message to ask what is the current status of your commission as more than likely I am taking a break from it due to the above reasons and/or taking a break on it to get a more refreshed mind.

IV. CUSTOMER SATISFACTION

I will do everything I can to make my customers happy.
However, after a commission is finished only small changes are allowed to be made if I missed a certain detail in the artwork such as small coloring, markings or anything I made a mistake in. These will be done free of charge.
Any large changes such as an outfit change, outfit addition or subtraction, background change or anything that makes me have to redraw it completely will come with an extra charge.

V. COPYRIGHT / USAGE POLICY

(This stuff is the legal stuff. Not as fun to read, but still important to make sure!)
I, the artist, hold every right to the produced drawing, not the commissioner.
Therefore I´m allowed to use the copyrighted artwork to:
Promote myself within any place or site.
To display it anywhere to my liking.

The Commissioner/s are allowed to;
Use the copyrighted artwork for personal use only unless agreed otherwise.
Print the art and claim the right of their character(s) but not the drawing itself.
Use the art to promote themselves with proper credit given to the artist.
Include the downloadable content in the character's selling folder, with credit clearly given and watermark intact.

I, as the artist, will never;
Claim the character as my own,
Use the character for personal use

If you break the copyright in any way, you will be placed on a list which will affect my judgment in allowing further commissions from me.

The following is considered Copyright Infringement:

Reproducing/using the copyrighted artwork commercially. (Meaning making money off it in any way)
Taking Credit for the creation of the artwork.
Removing any watermarks/signatures.
Altering the artwork without my, the artist´s, consent.
(In short, I own the art but the character I do not. Please be responsible and give credit where it is due)
I will not post extreme NSFW art on my page as I want to keep it relatively clean and viewable for viewers. You may repost and credit it on your gallery or website. If you demand I upload it on my gallery, a $50 charge will incur for it and put in a separate gallery from my main account.

VI. CANCELING/REFUNDING POLICY

If the commissioner changes their mind before the commission process has begun, they have the right to cancel as long as no payment has been exchanged.
However, if money has been exchanged when the sketch has been approved or the art is near completion, only a partial refund will be given depending on how far the drawing has progressed.
I will not cancel or refund without GOOD reason. I will always give one BEFORE refunding, and if possible, a compromise may be reached.
You have no right to cancel or demand a refund from the artist under any circumstances after payment is received. A partial refund and the incomplete commission will be given depending on certain circumstances, or if I feel that I cannot complete the commission as requested.

*PLEASE include the word "clarity" in your email to prove that TOS were read and agreed to. If this word is not present, your request may be denied*

Terms of Service base originally written by:
CSEmber (http://csember.deviantart.com)

Hello everyone and I apologize for not writing up any updates or posting much art here since my health, mental, and real-life issues keep getting in the way of almost doing anything (plus, working on art slowly since my speed is so slow...)

I just want to say, oh WOW! 22 watchers?!
Thank you very much to you all for showing interest in my (ever-slow evolving) art and/or talked with via Furaffinity forums! Because honestly, I did feel like my art wasn't good or anything and was about to give up on it completely... Again, thank you so much! Here's hoping I can improve my work and make it better, especially with furs and any animal-themed art!

And also a BIG thank you for some of my watchers who commissioned me or are currently waiting VERY patiently on my completing their art that I promised to complete (I'm still working on it, as I sometimes need to rest in order to get that drawing stamina recovered/get a refreshed look in seeing what I should do with it because full-bodied works sometimes overloads my brain on occasions and I need a step back...)
At the moment, I'm trying to also work on a new commission price sheet (for single character illustrations) since my current one looked hard to read, so I'm trying to simplify it with some new character art examples while having it easy to read on the eyes...while doing this through having a light flu on top of throat issues.

With that out of the way, I was wondering on some things and maybe you all could give me some feedback?

Since I'm about 3 watchers away from hitting 25, do you think I should offer a raffle for a free art (despite that I still have about 9 or 10 free arts I still owe people...) or, instead (even though I still think I suck at it...) post up a fanart? Or just do the 'thank you 25 followers' commemoration illustration instead?

Also, since I'm actually looking for a job at the moment and the hunting... Isn't exactly going good due to my health interrupting me every, single time... I was thinking about using my Ko-Fi to do a 'tip this amount and you get to see me do fanart' sort of thing. The reason being is I don't want fanart to get more attention than my original works here in my gallery (as well as have viewers only see me for that, and ignore my originals...), and I feel like if people want to see how I draw my favorite things in my own style, I will only post those on my Ko-Fi page with a preview first before unlocking the whole thing by people pay a certain amount to see them.
Like, say the amount of $24USD is reached, and that reveals a full-bodied illustration of a fanart character that I post on my Ko-Fi page after reaching that amount, or someone pays that amount? Maybe for the $6USD tier, I draw a sketch of a fur character from an existing anime/game that many people might not be familiar with (for example, Princess Connect Re:Dive has an Alpaca warrior girl character named Rima) as a 'Did you know this anime/game has this fur character?' type thing?
I'm not sure how to do this because just saying 'Please tip my Ko-Fi' only doesn't seem to be doing much, so I thought I might as well draw something to make people want to pay for some kind of art...?
Is making people pay to see me draw fanart in my own style a good idea or should I just figure out another way?

Of course, doing all this is up to my health and stuff, so it might change as I adjust it.

Also, is there anything that you all might want to see me draw for this gallery (besides commission/free arts, my profound love of drawing human/kemonomimi guys and unicorn guys in sexy, skimpy clothing, and some weird comics)? I was thinking about posting up my 'animal life study' pencil sketches that I have but they might go straight in the scraps since they are kind of messy... In fact, if that happens, I might make a journal titled 'New scraps has arrived!' or just make a separate gallery folder titled 'Studying from Life' and dump them there?

If you have read this far, again and again, thank you very much!

(PS Also... how do I format my icon to the right size?? Everyone here has huge, look-able icons, but mine came out REALLY small and I don't know what to do...)

Hello everyone and THANK YOU so much for the follows and artwork favoring! I actually kind of cried a little bit when I saw that because I did pretty much think about quitting art and thought my artwork was just terrible and everything... I also REALLY appreciated the comments too because believe it or not, having comments from you all makes me really happy and does encourage me to draw more since I feel like this is the only thing I can do.

I have to apologize since I haven't been on here because I was mentally recovering health wise and art-wise. I'm still kind of recovering, and did get back into creating again though I... kind of decided not to post anything much for now since the shock of posting art and not receiving anything (on here, twitter, and tumblr) left a mental scar in me now.

That is all, thank you for you understanding.

So since I'm going to be quitting my job this month and need to look for another one while working on my artwork, I am open for commissions!

Please either note me here to tell me that you are interested in a commission, then email me at fiorabeast7@gmail.com with the details of what you want me to draw!

My complete commission details, TOS, and commission form are all at my tumblr page here. Otherwise, the works I have put up so far here are what I have as examples.

Much as I want to take on as many as I can, I sadly have to limit myself to about 4 people max since this is my first time doing this, and my drawing speed is slow (unless it's a rough sketch). Not to mention, I have to watch out for my stress and health if I take on things too much for me.

After I get the first four done, I will put up another journal again to inform when I am open.Thank you very much!

Commission List:

1.

2.

3.

4.

Hi, new here! Name's Fiorabeast in English, Taiga Komagami in Japanese (because sometimes English names can be a pain in the rear.
I'm just setting up at the moment, so sorry for have a bare gallery... Thank you for your patience!

EDIT: Placed in some works! Thank you for the favorites! It will be slow from here from out due to job, tiredness from job, and being slow with doing digital art because of my terrible attention span...