Howloween is better than Xmas for me, so as proof I bring you a list of things you can say openly on Howloween that if said at other times during the year, would just be dirty... heh heh heh! --Things like:

1.) Did you have candy spread out on the floor last night?

2.) What did you get in the sack last night?

3.) It will last longer if you just lick it!

4.) She's got a great set of pumpkins on her porch!

5.) Just reach inside, and tell me what you feel!

6.) Let me show you my Zagnuts!

7.) Give me your Milky Way!

8.) Check things out before you put them into your mouth!

--What others can you think of?--Happy Howloween!

(seeks FurAffinity volunteers to do the dance from Thriller...)

Well, the word is out that we're officially in a recession--DUH! The recession also impacts upon sexuality, with 61% of couples reporting less sex due to stress over uncertain economic conditions. This is turn adds new meaning to the expression, "this economy really has me down!"

--These Howloween jokes are not fit for general publication:

Q: Why did the skeleton leave the dance early?
A: He had no body to dance with!

Q: Why did the girl vampire leave the boy vampire?
A: Because their relationship sucked!

Q: Why couldn't the boy ghost have children?
A: Because he had a hallow-weenie!

Q: What's the difference between a male deer and a witch?
A: One's a hunted stag, and the other's a stunted hag!

Q: What did Dracula do when he went to New York City?
A: He visited the bloodsuckers on Wall Street.

..and finally, the last Howloween joke! <cheers>

Q: When's a bad time to run into a black cat?
A: When he has an Obama sticker on his bumper!

(..runs away to watch FrightFest all day and night long!)

True Story!--The world's oldest driver, Clarence Freeman, is still on the roads in California at the age of 101...

...I wouldn't stand in his way!

--Sigh!--Ed McMahon, former sidekick to the late Johnny Carson ("Heeere's Johnny!") can't meet the payments on his 4.8 million dollar house!--Should we hold a bake sale for him?

--According to the Vatican, it's OK to believe in aliens...34% of us do!--It's not OK, however, to believe in married gay aliens...unless you want to be darned to Heck... ;)

Sigh...I got busted by airport security for carrying Ben-Gay and Absorbine Jr. onto a flight...

...it seems you're not allowed to carry a balm onto a plane...

--It is said that certain TV shows objectify women.--Does this mean that women aren't normally solids (objects)?

--A tiger turned man-killer, and began eating all kinds of people; white men, black men, red men, and yellow men. But the carnivore didn't feel good, so he went to see his veterinarian.

"What's wrong?," the tiger asked his vet.

"Well," said the vet, "you aren't eating your greens!"

--A frog went to see a fortune teller, Sylvia, the chihuahua from Courage, the Cowardly Dog...

"You will meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you," forecast the mysterious and petite canine gypsy.

"Awesome!," cried the frog, leaving happily.

Sure enough, within a month the frog was being dissected by a girl in a biology lab...

There's an orangutan at the zoo who has two books; The Bible and Darwin's The Origin of Species. Now he wonders if he's his brother's keeper or the brother of his keeper...

--Just sitting here in Pennsylvania with its presidential primary and massive campaign advertising, watching Hillary and Obama taking one another apart...

Obama:--I'm from a humble background...

Hillary:- -NO ONE is more humble than I am, dammit!

It's kind of surreal watching someone with Hillary's pedigree pretending to be a simple, gun-lovin', church-goin', whiskey-drinkin', small-town kinda gal with tons of real world experience....

...Oh God, can't this election be over?!

Sweet Fancy Moses!--Now that Charlton Heston's deceased, can we pry the gun from his "cold, dead hands?"

--So why shouldn't you cry over spilt milk? I did, and the cashier took it off my bill!

--Bah!--You can have Hillary, Obama, and McCain!--I'm voting for Fearless Leader! ;)

A guy's wife was always bringing home injured birds to nurse back to health. One night, he went home and beheld a duck with a broken wing, an oil-soaked seagull, and his wife warming a shivering wren.

"You gotta stop bringing birds into the house!," shouted the irritated man at his wife.

"Don't yell at me!," retorted the woman. "Not in front of the chilled wren!"

--My psychiatrist said that I was a kleptomaniac. I asked him if there was something I could take for it...

--Now serving Client 9!--Hurry up now, Governor! Serving New York and New Yorkers!

--and who were the eight "Clients" ahead of him?!--Ewww!

--What's the difference between food and cuisine? - -About twenty dollars a serving...

--and what's the difference between getting a drink and getting hydrated?--About $1.69 for a bottle...

I want to find out what the guy who dreamed up and sold bottled water is working on now! - -Designer air, perhaps...

...and to think, my pets will drink out of muddy puddles or from the toilet!

--So how come the navy can hit a defunct spy satellite traveling 4.7 miles per second with a rocket in space and blow it up, but we can't find Osama Bin Laden?

--I hit the "refresh" button on my computer screen, but I'm still tired...and I hit the "escape" button on my keyboard, but I'm still here...do I need the Geek Squad or something?

--Wow!--The biggest beef recall ever!--Much of the recalled beef was already eaten--enjoy your school lunches, kids?--And those videos showing the despicable treatment of the "downer" cows--it makes me ashamed to be 25% human!

--When you check out at the supermarket to be asked, "paper or plastic?," demand woven silk or rolled steel...

...supermarkets, pfft! --I went to the Giant, and I didn't see one!-- False Advertising!!!

--Now this is Super Tuesday, so we all get super powers, right?--What will you choose?--Flight?--Super strength?--I choose... pyrokinesis!

--What?--You mean "Super Tuesday" only refers to primary elections?--One of the candidates doesn't even believe in evolution, for crying out loud!

--Well, it's also Fat Tuesday, so let's go get us some donuts!--First dibs on the double chocolate!!!

-- Monster Quest on The History Channel this upcoming Wednesday at ten will have an installment called, American Werewolf. Another History Channel offering, Life After People, is upcoming this Monday night at nine...

-- Life After People!--I still dream... <sighs>