YAY! I paid off my balance i owed the Art Institute! Now to go back and do it all over again!

Anthrocon means no porn happens on FA, and when no porn happens you make questionable decisions, and when you make questionable decisions you wake up hungover with your bare naked ass hanging out of a dumpster.

Don't make questionable decisions, Don't have Anthrocon... support porn.

yep servers are back up. here we go!

http://www.livestream.com/pandamows

YEP! This is what I've been so dorkishly counting down to! Diablo 3!!!!!! MY NERDGASM IS AROUSED!

So hands down Diablo is my favorite video game of all time. It's kinda close to my heart in that it's the first game I every went OMG FOAM AT THE MOUTH CRAZY ADDICTION for. Mother used to try and keep me from playing it and I'd hide my CDs inside the wall or the ceiling then sneak down at 3:00 am to play it.

I've wanted this game for a very long time, and now it's here! I got the Limited Edition everything. So This comes with the game, the sound track a special hard cover book , The Diablo head figure with soul stone USB that has the previous games on it, and a bunch of other goodies. I also got the limited edition strategy guide.

SOOOOOOO....

I'm going to start a 24 hour stream starting from the point of installation to the point that I pass out. A bit of warning though, if you don't like penis, boobs, vag, cunts twats, dick, cock, ass, porn, boring things, hearing my voice, or live stream then you may not want to watch. I have porn on my back ground and I don't make a habit of censoring it.

But yes come watch, and if you have it... PLAY WITH ME!

Check out link here!

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7984210/

oh yeah... so apparently my countdown thing kinda was wrong and I'mma tard and can't count. I was going to go to the midnight release but i thought that was tonight. Apparently the midnight release happened last night while i was being addicted to SL and Weeds. The Stream thing will be a little later. The US Diablo Servers are under emergency maintenance for the next couple hours so there's not much for you guys to see or hear... other than my bunny whining about how whole world hates us. Not only is B-net down, but Netflix is screwing around with our Weeds.

and also also, Dekard Caine is apparently a very old very long winded version of Navi.At least, according to Ginny.

one day left! omgomgomgomgomgomgomg!

2 days till nerd-gasm!

3 days until my dark overlord's arrival, and I drop off the face of the planet for months!

*bounces* I can't wait. I've wanted this for friggen years!

i put up a new icon but it doesnt seem to be working. let me know if its changed

Well I finished uploading some pics. Imma head to bed. havent slept cause I've not been able to sleep.


I LOVE Joan Osbourne. She seems to have a raw emotional element. This song kinda hits me somewhere special. So here's a song for some of you. Hope you enjoy.

https://youtu.be/vHYZ5ykwZwo


PS. not sure if i plugged this already too lazy to look.

check it out!
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3358086/

wanna know something you should never do? Never jerk of with hard liquer.

I did, and now I have a killer head ache. I think I absorbed it through blood vessles in my Wang dang baby maker. At least... I.. I think? OMG HEAD HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! IF YOU EVER WANT WHISKEY JUST DRINK IT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!

I'll probly be unavailable the next few days. I've got family coming into town tonight and on Saturday we're moving to the other side of the complex. I've Deemed it the other other lil mexico. It'll be a bit longer though because we'll have to wait for the internets and the what not to be turned on over there. I'll try to remain available on my phone so if you want to get in touch my skype is lilfire.panda and my yahoo is crazydiamond_sb[at]yahoo.com

FUCKING A AND FUCKING FURRIES!

Okay, so if you're under the age of 21 I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW YOU, I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU. At my disgression I may break this rule, but more than likely I won't give a dam about you. If you're not old enough to legally drink or fuck then get the fuck out.

Reasons being... Teenagers are messy. They drag their issues around and anyone and everyone near by gets caught up in it. I have enough problems on my own that I don't need to deal with or care about yours. So fucking what that you think your sister is this mean ugly whore because she says you cant have your boyfriend over. Sack up and deal with it. Just leave all your bullshit between you and your little school friends.

So here's what happened...

A few months ago a couple new furs popped up in the area... well not new to the area but newish to furry. Imma say each was around 17. As the past few months proceeded, against better judgement I and my roommates have spoken with them of IM and what not. Some of us more than others.

Recently these two had just been found out by their parents as being gay. They confiscated their phones, computers, and what have you then proceeded to snoop through texts and IM logs.

Yesterday we were having our monthly movie night get together thing at our place, when none other that of of the teeny-babies' fathers showed up and started shouting about how he was going to sick the police on us for soliciting his son for pedo porn and sex. Big bad redneck male with small penis is angry because his son is gay and wants to take out out on the other gay freaks.

He said he had logs of us trying to get nude pictures and sex from his son and he was turning them over to the police. Now, I can speak for myself and say that I never did. Because, I have a boyfriend who I'm devoted to, and shortly after talking with them I realized that these kids were kinda shit heads and stopped talking to them. I'll even speak for my other three roommates and say that they never did either because the common consensus was "wow these guys are really dumb and un interesting" So none of us aksed these kids for anything pornagraphic or made any advances at all... But maybe a certain socialy retarded raptor did? dur dur dur you're a fuck tard.

I saw this coming from the get go, and in hindsight I probly should have said something but I didn't none the less though I may be caught up in some teenage high school family bullshit.

I dropped out of highschool because I got sick of all the bullshit. So my question for all you sniveling kiddie tards is, "If i hated highschool enough to drop out, why would I let any of you put me back in there?" Grow the fuck up and get some life experience under your belt and then maybe we'll talk. I don't want your petty problems and I don't want your parents' fucking issues with you.

THIS IS NOT A TURTLE!

I'm just wondering how many people out there are planning to get it. It's been announced to the media that it will be released on May 15th. It's about damn time! I really super excited about it. I LOVE the whole Diablo series, since it was like the first actual RPG I ever got into.

So anyways yesterday I went and paid off most of my pre order for my special edition, which i stil have to pay a small bit off between now and may 15th. So if you like Diablo pick yourself up a copy and com play with me! it'll be fun like hamsters in chewing tobacco!

YEAH! HAMSTERS IN SOMETHING OTHER THAN TUbES!

well my name is Manny and I'm here to tell you....

DON'T MOCK MY WORLD TURTLE!

https://youtu.be/7n0IMB5vSw8

So at the last minute I decided to go to FWA for a day. I really wish I hadn't. I had a serious feeling that I shouldn't have, but I did, and I'm really really sorry that I did. There's different reasons, but mostly because of something that I just found out a few minutes ago.

For anyone not in the know My roommates and I have been trying to move since the beginning of the year. Our apartment is falling apart, it rains and foods in our living room. It used to be that if we took a shower it flooded and rained in the kitchen, and not to mention that it's not the best neighborhood. After a series of events we arranged to move to one of the flats on the other side of the complex.

I've known for a while that they were going to do some kinda credit check on the four of us. I'm almost certain that I'm going to fail it because I've got really bad credit. Its what happens when you get hospitalized for various problems, and have no way of paying them.

So, I've been on edge for most of the month waiting to hear back about this thing. I wasn't too worried about till now. I've got family coming at the end of the month. If I can't move to the new place then, I'll just go back to IL. with them. What I am worried about is they just put out word that if one of us fails the credit check then we have to leave and they're not being clear about if it's immediately or not. So I regret going to FWA because I was an idiot and didnt think and spent most of my cash at FWA which means that If I suddenly needed to get a small trailer to pack my shit into I couldn't.

The thing is I really don't care if I have to go back or not. I hate it down here. It's not because the people I know and more just in general. I've sad it a million times before the only reason why I stay here is because of Ginko, but face with not having a home and being in a relationship with a loving mate I'd have to pick the home first.

If this does happen I'm almost dropping out of the fandom. I'll probly still prowl around FA for porn and crap. I may even go to MFF because that's where I do my Christmas shopping.

This is all for different reasons. I'm not the most active as it is because most furs piss me off and I'm just fucking tired of all the bull shit. I'm not saying everyone is bad but I've dealt enough with bad furs to have been burned out in the fandom a while ago. Another reason is that, while there's certainly a great many more openly furry folk around central Illinois, I've had enough bad experiences with a few that make me regret delving further into furry, and make me hesitant about returning. And thirdly I'm starting to care less and less. I'm all outta give a shit.

so any ways that's about it.

About a week ago somebody got inside my Jeep and stole my HTC Thunderbolt. At the time I felt lucky that I had insurance on it, but I'm finding out Asurion IS NOT very assuring. It's almost not even worth paying the extra money per month to have insurance on it.

Asurion won't ship the phone to to my address because according to Asurion my address is not a valid address. In order to get my phone, I had to have it shipped to my roommate's mother's house. On the first delivery they sent the wrong phone to the correct address. Good fucking job, Asurion.

When I got home from work that night, I called Asurion up and explained to them that they sent me the wrong phone. They sent me a Motorola Droid Milestone but I had an HTC Thunderbolt. At first he told me that he wasn't sure why they sent me the wrong phone because my Thunderbolt pulls up in their systems.

I thought it'd be something simple like, "we'll send you a prepaid shipping label, you send the wrong phone back and we'll send you the right phone." Instead I got told that I had to pay a second deductible before they send me the right phone and a shipping label. Then I could send the wrong phone back and they'd refund me the first deductible. Blah Blah what the fuck ever. Here's your fucking money just send me my phone.

I should have gotten my phone today, but when I checked the shipment status they sent it to the wrong address... Their policy is supposed to be next day delivery (next buisness day) But as it stands, it's taken them nearly a week and i still don't have my phone. Way to go Asurion, you fucking tards.

After all this it's almost not even worth paying the insurance on. Except that the phone brand new was something like $500 brand new last time I checked. So paying $100 to replace a $500 phone is a pretty good deal. Except that when I bought the phone it was $250 because I got it when I renewed my contract. As of now I've paid Asurion $200 to not do their jobs, and may have to take a day off work because of this. I dunno.

I'm posting this less as something for you guys to read and more as a record for myself.

2/25/2012

gunshots heard close to the apartment between 4 am and 4:30 am

3-4 shots in quick procession

It did not sound as if they were antagonized

No retaliation visible or heard

no police were called or at least responded

Last Gun Shots heard: about 1 month ago. sounded similar to these but further away. No return fire. Not sure if there was antagonism, or if police responded then either; doubtful though.
____________________________________________________________________
Possible ideas:

Redneck loves his gun; maybe watching late night foot ball/ nascar reruns.

Could also be an intimidation technique by possible gang activity.

Someone just came REALLY REALLY hard.

...so yeah it's official.... I'm not allowed to go home for the funeral... I'm being told to stay down here because "It's crucial that I stay in Alabama to get my life on track" yay me...

Let's do a quick poll? Who else has had a shitty start to the New Year?

I really hope that 2012 isn't going to be a year of "fuck you". The first few days of this month started off normal. or as normal as they it could be... I hat a massive fit of depression and anxiety and sorta had a melt down from that. Then towards the middle of the month; my boyfriend and I were in a car accident coming home from church. That same day we got turned down by the reality company that managed the house my roommates an I were trying to rent.Two weeks and a day after the first, I was in a car accident at work. My Jeep is undriveable, and I'm "suspended" for a "week" from work due to company policy. They have to investigate the wreck. That same day Haystack and Dallas nearly got in a car accident on their way to work. Around the same time Haystack did something to hurt his side, and Dallas started to develope his own pains for which he was taken to the ER yesterday. Last night Ginko and I were out with some friend getting food for a meal we wanted to cook, and our friend got pulled over for driving and forgetting his head lights. Now, a few days after the second accident, I just got a call from my mother saying my great grandmother passed away.

This year is starting out fine and dandy.... and as much as i want to bitch and moan... for some od reason I can see a different side of things... I wouldn't say optimistic just another realistic side. Besides, even if I bitch and moan its not going to do anything.

Lets take the car accident Ginko and I were in. His SUV got totaled. That really fucking sucks. I meant there's the whole dealing with long calls to the insurance companies getting the police reports right, looking for a new car, waiting for check and not having a ride any where. All of this is very unhappy stuff. But, at the same time the Trooper had been having issues with it's transmission. The trooper had had these little issues going on for a while but I've noticed them getting worse. So maybe, the trooper getting totaled, while still not so fun and a pain in the ass, was a bit of opportunity? Especially since his family found another trooper just like this one, with low mileage on it for around the same price as what they got given for the totaled trooper.

Like wise getting turned down for that house may not have been so bad either... Yeah that sucked, because we're really wanting out of this complex... but Then I stop and thingk for a second... If we had moved there then that meant that Ginko would have had to drive to school. It would have been more money for him on gas. As it stands now we live across the street from where he studies so he just walks. Had we moved out there then Ginko wouldn't have had a means of transportation to and from classes on account of his vehicle being totaled. So this makes me ask an interesting question. Isn't it ironic that we got turned down for the new place and his trooper was smashed in the same day? Sure, I could have taken him but guess what, I'm unable to drive now too.

I can't say much about haystack's side or Dallas's pain or being pulled over last night other than it just could be some seriously dumb bad luck but maybe there's another side of it for them too. As for my Jeep... I'm still waiting to know what's going to happen to it. It might get repaired it might get scrapped who knows... I'm very saddened over seeing my jeepy in such pain. But...just as I had that accident a very close friend of mine called and said he found a Wrangler for me in my price range. He just test drove it and from what he says this sounds like it'd just be perfect!

At the same time being suspended for a week sounds like it sucks... and it really does... espeicaly since I'm sitting here loosing money and was worried about how I was going to pay rent. but I pulled some strings and some how managed to get the money for rent to Dallas. Think about this, even if I wasn't suspended, it wouldn't have made much difference because i dont have a vehicle i could get to and from work with or use to preform my job's duties. So I'd still be sitting at home! Also, now that great grandma passed away, that means that at some point with in the next few days I will have to go home for a short bit and tend to things there. Normaly, I'd be fretting how to do this, but with this time off I'm actually able to give my family the attention they need and not worry about stupid work.

The point I'm trying to make is all this shit keeps happening but I can see it all fitting together like a puzzle. Sucky shit happens but just about each time it does there's, in some weird twisted way, a benefit.

This may sound cold and callous... maybe even some what perverse... but I am glad gread grandma has passed. The woman was 95 years old... My great grandpa passed away somewhere around 15 years ago, so she was with out her life's love. She had grown to be senile and mean due to her dementia. She constantly put pressure on my grandmother and mother, and tried to play them against each other.

None of that makes great grandma sound like a very lovely lady, but I'm not trying to slander my great grandma. Her old age was not kind to her or any one else in the family. She had no quality of life and as batty as she was she knew it. It was hard on her and it was hard on the rest of us. The benefit to her death is that her suffering is over.

It's hard to explain how I feel... I loved her. When I was young I would stay at her place, just down the streat from us. She had a giant yard with fruit trees, and grape vines, and flowers, and woods in the back. There were snakes and every time I went over there it was like an adventure. I'd spend the night and we'd play cards out on her back porch, and when it got too cold she'd take me inside and teach me to play Rummikub. Great Grandma loved her card games, but she loved her family and grand children even more.

What really tears me up, the part that really hurts is around the time that I should have been becoming more aware of the bigger picture, taking in her legacy and learning more from her I was sent to live away from the family. I forgot about her as I dealt with teenage problems abroad and grew apart from her. In my young adult hood on up to now I wasn't really that close, and it wasn't until I moved away once more how horrible this was. It's always tore me up inside. By the time I was ready to listen and talk to her she was already gone with the dementia. There are stories, wisdom, and closely held family recipes that only she knew that are gone now, and those would have been the best things of her I could keep with me.

This past Christmas I was trying hard to go home for the month of December. I hadn't seen most of my family in over a year and I just had this feeling that if I didn't go home to see Great Grandma then I'd not have gotten the chance to see her alive again. AS it turned out, I wasn't allowed to go home for certain reasons, I ended up starting a job, and for Christmas I drove to North Carolina. That was the one big thing i wanted this year for Christmas a chance to go home... get to see family, and spend one last Christmas with great grandma to make up for lost time. That lost time hurts....

You know... She died thinking I was still away on vacation... But she never once stopped thinking about me... every day mom and grandma took care of her I was the first one she asked about, and never once did I call other than holidays and her birthday... and this Christmas I didn't even call...

So she's gone... It is for the better... I can't say from my point of view if she's in a better place or not but she was a devout catholic so I hope for her sake she is.

Merry Christmas Great Grandma... I'm coming home for you...

I thought it might be a good time to take a moment and apologize to anyone who might have gotten offended or thinks I've gone too far. I am sorry if you've been offended by anything I've written, but that doesn't mean I"m going to stop.

Anyone who knows me knows that I'm very rarely serious about anything at all, and can tell you i don't mean much of what I say. Do I enjoy clubbing baby seals? No, I think they're adorable. Do I condone curb stomping babies? ...Maybe... but only the ones that cry in movie theaters.

I think largely it's a form of stress relief. To me nothing is to sacred, or off limits to be made fun of. Some of what I write is meant to offend but it's not meant to be taken too personaly. It's not an attack against anyone. Many... alright... MOST people don't find this funny at all... but there's that ten percent that still get a snicker out of it. And, to be quite honest I don't post things like Lets Go Clubbing and Candy Land for other people. I post it for myself, but it's nice to know there's other fucked up people out there as well. It's funny because it's so fucked up and over the top.

I veiw the world as this crazy insane place, and everything about it deserves to be laughed at. Yes, it's flawed maybe even a little immature, but I don't think it's going to change anytime soon. What I write is all stuff I think of through out the day... YES I HONESTLY THINK OF THIS STUFF... So that homeless guy, that I've grown disgruntled with or the guy that ran his red light and hurt my Jeepy just might... OH! Here's one right now... There was an Old lady who swallowed a flie... I dunno why she... We sung this song at my uncle's funeral... when they found his body he was choking on a fly fishing lure and dressed in drag... he had an itch he just couldn't reach. Prehaps she'll die.

Point of all this is that I'm aware that it may not be as funny as i think it is. I may go way past many peoples' limits but don't take it seriously, and don't take it personally because i don't mean it

So now...

let me tell you about this country i want to found...

My thoughts are I'll take over one of those small countries in Africa. Doing so will be quite easy. All I have to do is tell all the people I have the medicine to cure their aids. It's over there, on the other side of that mine field. Of course this country is bound to be bullied by bands of evil mercenaries but they'll be dealt with soon enough... besides... this is Africa we're talking about so I'm hoping that there's still a legitimate fear of the white man. NO! It's not raceist because I said "people." PEOPLE live in africa. And, the fear of the white man is well documented and legit because people seem to run the other way when ever Bono is around. Bono isn't doing anything for Africa other than scaring the natives. It could be the sun glasses.

After I've taken care of the infestations problem.. er I mean PEOPLE living there the following step is to plant my flag. I've thought long and hard on what should adorn my flag and I decided upon Bozo the clown. This is because 1) Clowns are scary and have white faces, 2) that's what white people do, they move in and steal your land and 3) there will be ALOT of crazy in my country.

I figure that that since I just managed to walk in and claim this land with a Bozo the Clown flag it's more than likely no one cares about it. This could very well be because it offers nothing to really export other than dust. That's not a problem... I plan to boost my new country's economy through imports. For a small fee I will take other countries' insane, deranged, handicap and so forth off their hand for them and these will be the new citizens of my country.

Having a population that doesn't quite fire on all four cylinders suites me well. My form of government will be a dictatorship; and with laws such as no pants Thursdays, and quack like a duck Tuesdays I'll need people to go along with it and follow my every whim. I won't be a cruel dictator, infact I don't like the term dictator so from now on I decree that it be called potater. My potatership will not be a cruel potatership. The one main rule is "ALL HAIL THE GREAT POTATER!!!" After that It'll be a potatership with in reason. If I say do something you'll do it because I said so, but if you don't want to and are able to mass enough oposition against me then you don't have to do it. But, if you oppose me there's nothing keeping me from bribing you with a yearly supply of gourds.

As I said earlier those pesky bands of evil mercenaries were going to soon be dealt with. That's because the second half of my economic stimulus plan will be exporting the very same thing I'm importing. For a small fee I will take your specialy needy retrain them into world class mercenaries, and for another small fee I will sell them back to you. "Remember you're clinicly insane? Well... now they have guns!" That's right I will export the citizens of my country and make money off them! Not only does this boost my country's economy, it also helps with the population control. Oh yes, those dim witted bands of evil mercenaries patrolling along my country's borders... if they weren't afraid before they should be now. Now, we're not just a nation of crazy white folks, we're a nation of crazy white folks with guns. Imagine a whole battalion of the "not quite right" charging after you. They've got guns and grenades, they're quaking like ducks, and Shouting "for the great Potater!" Yeah, I think my borders will be pretty safe.

Anyways, that's my over view of the country I will some day found. And if I can't do this in Africa, then I'll do it to Detroit. God Knows Canada doesn't want it, and the US doesn't want it, so it might as well be it's own third world little country. So It'd be perfect, but for now I'll stick with Africa.

I love the taste of peoples' tears and hatred. That's why i go clubbing babies that are dressed up as baby seals. Their mothers are not too happy at first but that's until they learned how much money I saved them! That is unless they were welfare babies; then their mothers get really angry!

You may wish to tell me clubbing baby seals is wrong and immoral, but I assure you that I am fur friendly. It's just so soft! In all honesty I'm not really clubbing them. I curb stomp the little fuckers. I like putting my foot right through the back of their fuzzy little heads. The big crunch followed by that squish is music to my ears. I love it but it stains my socks!

poor Kenori is just a three year old with a temper tantrum

Apparently there's a local fur that's been going around talking shit about my roommate's and I. I'm not going into details as to what or why, but before I go on I want to state that this isn't another one of THOSE journals.

I don't care if he talks shit about me or people I care about. There's really no one important who would give him the time of day anyways. But, this made me reflect on a personal opinion of mine that I thought maybe I could share.

Why should I care if someone has a bug up their ass about me? There's millions of people out there on this planet. If someone tries to burn a bridge with me I could just as easily go out and talk to someone else and make a new friend. At the end of the day everyone is replaceable, and I'm not going to loose sleep over it.

so... I could very easily go out and find myself another fat ass who likes to whine too much and inconvenience everyone to replace the last one. I'll even bet you that if I put just a little bit of effort into my search i could find someone whose a lot nicer, and a lot less spiteful, vindictive, and two faced.

point of all this... don't get mad or even... just turn away and find someone new.

thank you,
panda

It's hard to be a gay man trying to go straight when you're penis is shaped like a U


har har har