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Posted 3 years agoI havent posted in 2 whole years,,
Feels like just a few months.
I'm doing okay. Managed to not have caught covid once yet
I think working in a nursing home helped that, along with still wearing my mask indoors places.
Ever since the lockdowns I've been working towards appreciating my youth while I still can.
Hardly ever a quiet weekend, bonfires, concerts, parties, booze and drugs (Not the bad kind)
I grew up only ever having 1 or 2 friends because we moved a lot, now I have multiple cliques and am in the local scenes in my county
I still love doing art, and have even been doing some drawings when I can.
Most all of them are psychedelic inspired from my trips, which I am very grateful for
because for the longest time I felt like my art never had the liveliness that I wanted it to have,
and I think now it has that, even if I have yet to finish much of anything.
But between work and friends I don't have much time to come online and be present all day
When I do have downtime I try to enjoy some video games, and those are mostly on switch.
Steam seems foreign to me now lol
I am now over 1 year on testosterone and it hit me like a brick.
by week 2 my voice started dropping and by 6 months I had a full beard.
I no longer get misgendered in person or on the phone and have a completely new wardrobe that actually makes me feel good to have and show off
I really am a whole other person.
Covid slapped me in the face with morality
Psychedelics have kept me depression and anxiety free, while actively making me a more sociable and outgoing person
My work pays well and has amazing benefits. Private insurance is amazing compared to State Medicare
I can afford to buy myself things that I want, and not have to worry about bills getting paid on time like I did my entire life
HRT has made me comfortable in my skin and confident in my looks and abilities
I am truly happy I think.
I'm hoping soon I'll be able to sit back down and focus on my art again with meaningful time.
In the meantime I'm dropping what socials I am active on here
telegram is still a/ massenmoerder this is my primary form of communication from friends and family. I'm on here literally all the time
If we were close (lots of interacting counts too) you can add me on FB which I am also on constantly
just DM me for my link or message me on telegram about it
Discord is Freddie#0985 and I would love to join some smaller servers to be apart of, especially art based and video game related
I'll see about posting some of my scraps to well, my scraps gallery lol
Edit: If you are in the general seattle area message me! I want an in-person furry groupRemember how I said I couldn't get a break
Posted 5 years agoive been in the ER for what I thought was my appendix finally giving out
But after blood tests, urine samples, a cat scan, and hours of waiting for results
Came to the conclusion my colon is just inflammed 🤦♀️
Y'all im so fuckin tiredRelated and 50% off
Posted 5 years agoI have new socials I'm going to be posting too if you would like to follow me there.
I can say now I most likely will not be active on any of them socially, and will just be posting and dipping.
https://fishboneart.carrd.co/#socials
They're all empty still so bare with me as I try and fill them all up.
The best places to contact me are still my telegram, discord, here and twitter
Also due to me really needing to get some more commissions and needing to power through my hand pain
My prices are now 50% off for the month of October
You can find my usual prices on my website aboveI can't get a break
Posted 5 years agoWell, Happy October everyone.
Haven't been online really since early July and I apologize for that
things have been hell to be honest
I had taken in a friend for a bit that became homeless after her father passed
and the place she moved too was incredibly toxic and abusive.
This wasn't a problem really per say
and it was only until another friend of hers could fly out here and pick her and her stuff up.
Well, me and my boyfriend live in a camper.
And our cat is violent to other cats, and she had 2.
We had to barricade the only door in the house to keep them separated
it as probably the most stressful thing I've ever had to deal with.
Due to us needing to remove said barricade to get into our own bathroom,
my cat managed to get through at some point and attacked her cats.
This resulted in me pulling him off of them and me getting bit pretty badly.
This bite was on my left (dominant) hand, and he got me right on my thumb
hit all the knuckles, and I'm pretty sure he probably pierced my tendon in some way.
The pain was excruciating, and even with adrenaline coursing through me
the pain wanted to make me throw up
I went through all the precautions,
the first thing I did was run to the sink to wash it and stop the bleeding
I tried to be a man and deal with the pain but after a couple hours I caved and went to the ER
The doctor took off my wrappings and checked it out, giving me antibiotics and sending me on my way
He said to come back if it started to show signs of infection
I wake up the next morning with my hand draining pus, and go back to the ER
only to be scolded by the nurses and a new doctor telling me to give the antibiotics time to work,
to poke the wounds and drain them if they get pus in them myself
and to come back if the infection shows signs of spreading through my hand or to my arm
luckily that never happened.
I had to drain the ~8-10 punctures every couple hours because they kept refilling
the swelling was becoming hell from it and they didn't give me any pain meds.
My depression was only getting worse because not only could I not draw,
I couldn't fucking do anything. all my hobbies involve keeping my hands busy
only after a week could I really move my thumb and deem it safe enough to not keep wrapped anymore
Flash forward to now,
my cat has worms from the fleas her cats had
My hand while healed, has lots of scar tissue from how deep the bite was.
Like, a lot. You run your finger over my scars and you can feel the bumps left over
the bumps hurt. And my tendon is still healing I think
I can use my hands now for daily tasks
but my pen sits right on a puncture scar thats right on my tendon
and it hurts to hold it longer then 20 minutes at a time
so I haven't been able to draw really effectively.
I believe I talked briefly last journal about my bf losing his job
well he got a new one that he loves working at
but he was promised full time hours and he hasn't been getting them.
It was more or less an hour a day lost, so it wasn't terrible
but now on top of that he just lost 5 hours a week due to 'slow season'
No place here is hiring due to covid and the ones that are want you to be either licensed or 21
I can't drive legally and I'm only 20, so I can't sell alcohol like they want.
On top of that I shouldn't even be out working with the pandemic as i'm immunocompromised
I want to draw and get commissions to help pay rent but I can't even do that as quickly as I would need too
What would take me a couple hours to do normally (because I already take lots of breaks)
takes me all day to let my hand rest up and I don't want to upset customers
It's always as soon as life slows down and things are okay that it all just blows up in my face
straight up not having a good time
not enjoying this timeline
hating lifeAnyone have thyroid problems I could talk too?
Posted 5 years agoI’m just so tired of this tbh
Back in 2018, I worked a high stress job, where I was constantly on my feet, and my diet was limited mostly to what the residents ate, which was small low sodium meals. And I only ate during my lunch. Before this job, I wasn’t really active and my diet was shit of mostly fast food.
I started to gain weight rapidly. I went from 135 to 175 in only 4 months.
When I gained the first 10 pounds I figured it was stress from work, but it kept coming.
It stayed stagnant for a bit, and then when I stopped working the job, I stopped eating as much as I was and then continued to gain another 20 pounds.
It was at this point that I assumed, there’s no way I could possibly gain more weight, I’m in no way eating enough.
I started recording my food, and most days I do not even make 1200 calories.
I’m not starving myself I want to clarify.
Sometimes me and my bf can’t afford a Lot of food, or I’m just not hungry.
I’ll usually eat whatever leftovers from the night before dinner, and won’t really eat again until dinner time outside maybe some snacks if we have them.
I try to be more physically active to try and burn some of the fat, but after a week I check the scale and see that I have only gained weight.
As I type this I am at an all time high of 205 lbs. by my height, I am obese.
The past couple days I have had to force myself to eat as I’m just not hungry.
I drink mostly water, and I hate most sugary foods and sweets.
I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t know what else my problem could be outside thyroid.
Last time I went to the doctor was after the 40 pounds in 4 months, and she told me it must have been stress and told me I’m too healthy to be having any underlying problems.
I could see 10 pounds being stress but 40? Really?
I hate going to the doctors. The only time they listen is when I say I want to kill myself.
I hate having all this weight. I can barely do anything without being out of breath
None of my clothes fit and I don’t have the money to be buying new ones
I hate how this extra weight makes binding so much harder for me
I feel trapped tbh
Falling into old habits
Posted 5 years agoI’ve noticed I’m beginning to procrastinate in ways I used too
I have the habit of cramming for a week straight,
then giving myself little to no time off until I end up finally ‘taking a break’ I’ll never come back from
I’m thinking if I give myself a schedule to follow,
I’ll be less likely to fall into my own trap of laziness
So I’m thinking
Monday through Wednesday I work on owed work
Then Wednesday through Friday I work on personal art
And I take the weekends off
Give or take busyness, that’s why Wednesday is open for both.
This’ll force me to not only work on my own projects but will also force me to take time away from drawing
On days I do work for others,
I honestly work from the moment I wake up until I can’t anymore and have to go to bed.
While that’s probably not good, it’s the only way I get anything done
So maybe this will be a good compromiseOh also looking to commission a custom adopt
Posted 5 years agolooking for someone who can draw cats, dragons, and big fluffy mane-like hair
Do not want it on a base, hmu with examplesIs it still against the rules
Posted 5 years agoTo require making a journal entry for raffles on here?
I remember they banned it long ago after a huge artist did it and everyone was getting flooded about their raffle
I remember you could add in entries for sharing, But it couldn’t be a requirement to enter
Is that still in place?Question for my followers
Posted 5 years agoEDIT: I’ve decided against the custom thumbnails because from my personal experience and the few people I’ve asked, collectively we typically don’t click on pictures if we don’t like the thumbnails, and making it censored would deter people from it more often than not. On top of that, those thumbnails absolutely do not work when you enlarge my gallery. The only work when shown on the slideshow underneath uploads, and I think the front feed.
I might just have to take the L and post title warnings and hope people are cool with just ignoring it when I post it. If not I remember there being some browser extension that blacklists tags for FA, I could probably find it and link it to people who have a problem
Sooo
I have some very niche fetishes to put lightly
I imagine they’re pretty common on people’s blacklist
I would like to draw some of them
However comma I don’t want to scare anyone away?
Like I don’t want to lose followers because I uploaded nasty porn ;^;;;;
But I don’t want to make another account purely for my nsfw stuff
But I know FA doesn’t have a tag blacklist feature like other sites do
And I really don’t wanna get people’s panties in a twist
But I really wanna draw and post it because there’s not enough art of it in my opinion
and I know a very select group will enjoy it, or at least be entertained looking at it cuz weird art
I can put a general warning in the titles of the posts but it would be impossible to put all of what needs to be warned in the titles
I don’t know what to do (;_;)Socials
Posted 5 years agomost active Discord Freddie#0985
Most active Telegram @ massenmoerder
Twitter @ FishBoneArts
Instagram (don’t even bother DMing tbh) @ fishbone.arts
Facebook is Luka Fawx (the art one with the face pfp). If you find my personal please do not add it unless we are friends
Also looking for pleasant furry telegram groups and discord servers to lurk and post toStarting anew
Posted 5 years agoThings have been hard since leaving my old account, and really distancing myself from the fandom in a whole. I never wanted to stop, but things in my life just got so hectic and eventually I just stopped going through my messages. It may not mean a lot to someone else, but everyday I would log in to see all the art that was posted and I’d even browse the front page to find new people to follow, so losing out on seeing all of the art kinda fucking sucks. But procrastination just makes things worse, and not only am I still missing out on art being posted but I never even finished going through my old account and refollowing everyone I used to know.
I feel like a ghost. Back in the day I had friends on here, people who I would message a lot and we’d share art and give gifts and act like we knew each other for half our lives. Now I have one friend and I’m not even sure if most of the people I used to know are still around much. I know a lot of who I knew were because of Mutuals from that one manipulator and groomer, and once they were called out we banded together but after a while we just lost it, I think. I hope you all are doing well, and not succumbing to more bad people in your lives. I did and still do care about you all. Though I probably won’t reach out as I have nothing to talk about anymore and y’all are probably off doing your own thing nowadays. Especially since I think we were all just teenagers at that point.
You know I first joined FA when I was 12? I’m 20 now. I think I left when I was around 17-18, so about 5 years of being an active community member! Now it’s back at square one..
I’ve changed a lot over the years, and I don’t think attaching myself to my old account will do me any good at this point.
My life is not great right now. I think I talked briefly in my last journal how nice life was going, turns out it was just a manic episode and those just happen sometimes now. COVID also brought my life to a halt. I haven’t really seen any of my friends of family in months. It was about right after my birthday that things shut down, and that was the end of February. All of my favorite holidays are getting cancelled. And now I can’t even leave the house if I wanted too because transit stopped running, and I live in the backwoods behind the downtown area so I have to walk hours to get anywhere. So for about 4ish months now I’ve just been hard hitting depression, and cabin fever.
Some good has come out of it, like forcing me to come to terms with being trans. Downside of that is the constant dysphoria, and figuring out what would be the best way to come out to my family about it. I also know very little about how to start the transition, and have been avoiding going to the doctors for anything for at least a year and half now so I’m at a standstill really until this virus blows over. I was even in college until I had to halt my payments due to needing the extra money every month from covid.
What was the point of this journal? Idk. I miss what I used to have here, and trying to start anew fucking blows.
I miss my friends
Edit: oh, also, happy pride month y’allMy website/portfolio
Posted 6 years ago
https://fishboneart.carrd.co/
!!!!
All of my important information all in one easy place
As of right now I just have my Twitter and fa linked,
but I plan on adding more later on once situated
Also, as a fair announcement
I am primarily active on Twitter and will probably stay as such for some time
I uploaded some art, and half assed a profile. A good start lol
Featured journal
Posted 6 years agoHello c:
if you see this I probably watched you
I am currently re-watching all artists from my old account of 
lukafawx
You don’t have to thank me! Shouts will just be deleted later on
lukafawxHello everyone!
Posted 6 years agoThis is more for my old watchers, but new watchers are welcome to catch up on my life if they'd like
I'm aware the change in account is weird. I'm still getting used to it and learning to leave behind the account ive had since finding the fandom in 2012.
I'd like to update on everything thats happened in the past while
I'm doing better. Overall.
Ive moved out of my moms house and me and my bf moved into our own place
We have a kitty (named Fish Bone! Haha) who just turned a year old this month!
And so far I can say I am depression free since the beginning of June :)
I've worked really hard in finding myself and cutting out all negativity in my life and spreading copious amounts of positivity
I'm eating a bit healthier (give or take. I'm eating rice most days)
And I've taken a keen to friendly get togethers. Lots of last minute hang out plans, game nights. And getting drunk while talking about our week
I've also found a bit more about myself since I was active. I no longer consider myself pansexual. I like to go by homoflexible. (Which is basically bisexual with a major preference for the gay™)
And I've also come to see I'm polyamorous. Though it might just be this relationship im comfortable with it.
Also maybe genderfluid?? Idk ive had slight dysphoria for years now but I mostly shrug it off.
I'm still the same as before of not caring what pronoun you call me by until I figure it out lol
As some of you can see my art has also changed quite a bit. Dont worry i wont be ditching lineart entirely
Luka has also gone under a new design! Though I'm still debatting if i will keep her as my main
My goal for this new start is to get back into art commissions
Both for you guys, but also so I can be selfish and get funding for things I want lol
I will want to do maybe monthly charity events though and I think those will he fun!
Stuff like diseases, lgbt, animals etc.
However without a working computerthat won't happen so thats funding step number 1 :3c
I want to thank everyone who followed this new account to continue supporting me. I know I wasn't the greatest back in the day, but was really anyone that great in highschool? Lmao
Also! Still getting my socials in order!
But in the meantime my twitter is set up! @ fishbonearts
And my old telegram is still up! @ massenmoerder
It's my main form of communication IRL so I'm usually always online
Though theres no group chat yet for my furry followers