Okay I don't know how many people here WANT to know about updates on me since i'm not an active or skilled artist but the past month tons of personal issues plus the stuff related to FA in general made me too depressed to be here like my normal self commenting as much as possible, but i'm doing okay now and trying to catch up

I also joined bsky because my girlfriend is brasilian and i didnt wanna let her be alone and I'm having fun there now, if anyone wants to join, i'd say its more worth it now with the amount of people either forced there by virtue of being brazillian or following the brazillian exodus bc they have enough friends they feel its worth it

Does anyone else dislike in art when there is an unrealistically big penis? woman or not, it's ruined many a drawing for me personally

i like cock just fine but when it gets past realistically 7 or 8 inches and normal diameter i'm just like. skeeved out. i can take unrealistically big balls to a point, though.

Furry AND Human specifically I mean, and specifically artists who like to draw their women with multiple piercings on their body but especially their face/head? (i'll take just stuff not there too but i want more than just the boobs belly button cock vulva etc)

Don't have to exclusively draw female characters but at least do enough of them of any variety that it's worth checking out.

I know this is a weird request and I'm not sure how many people who follow me would even know an answer or provide me with one, but I figure it's better than nothing

I know I don't have to write this but I need to for myself and to ease some anxiety, so I want to give an update on what happened with me.

I wasn't in a good mental state at all towards the end of 2019, with personal issues between me and a few different friends, and the pokémon fandoms sentiments toward SWSH really getting to me mentally. One of my few escapes from that was a friend of mine, Lexie, who I looked up to like an older sister and sougbt advice from and still was excited for Pokémon then. I'd known her for a while but it was especially important then because I felt I couldnt escape bad feelings even amongst people who didnt play or think about the series.

She always saw the best in me even when I couldnt and sometimes I didn't know how i could do that justice. So we kept trodding along like that til she started getting unexpected pains in about march 2020, which she later found out was cancer. She trusted me enough to make me one of the first persons she told about it.

I was scared and didnt know what to do so our last in depth conversation before she went for treatment was a lot of calming me down. She ended up dying a month after that with not a lot more messages beforehand. She promised me she'd call me for my birthday if she made it. She didn't.

This was my first real experience with death of someone I knew and loved, and it was extremely painful for a while. It took about a year to really get my head straight again.

I made a promise when she died that I would try absolutely harder to be the person she believed I could be, better than I was in 2016-2019, and, I like to think I have been making her proud, because I feel like I've been a better person the past year and trying to heal and move forward with my life...while having to realize my own needs and limits.

One of the things I did while I was gone as a coping mechanism was throwing myself into a year long project for a youtube video that ended up being an hour and a half long that brought its own traumas and issues into my life. Only recently have I started taking time to try to mentally give myself some space and things I need instead of devoting all my energy soley outwards. I think I'm doing okay.

What does all of that have to do with FA?

I never forgot about FA, but I never felt I could be here when I wasnt completely well, and also, I feel guilt and shame over not keeping up with people i've met and consider friends here...I understand if people feel different because of either me in a bad state or not getting back in a while, but for me, I don't ever forget anyone I've ever cared about. Even if i havent sent a message in a while because I'm terrified to disturb, I haven't forgotten you, i havent been ignoring it. I just dont want to intrude if I think I might be unwanted.

On top of all of that, my computer also died so I've been stuck to my phone since then. I have a new tablet (like a samsung one) now so I'm slowly getting back to drawing when I can. I also started drinking alcohol once a month last year.

i actually went through 30k submissions on my watchlist tonight, which is why I left comments on some old stuff. I'm nothing if not thorough.

In any event, I hope anyone who's taken care to read this is doing well.

I finally got a nintendo switch, only things i have rn are smash and pokken if you wanna add me my FC is: SW 5598 7689 5664

aside from that, i'm starting to run out of my backlog of old art to upload so i really need to push myself to get new things that i can post here done that aren't just an assortment of design help for my friends. main issue in between that is just being emotionally alright enough to push through the drawing process when i wanna, its still getting easier than it used to be but sometimes i'm frustrated i'm not able to practice as often as i want and need to to improve, but thats life i suppose

besides that though, whoever's reading this, thank you for doing so, if u ever need someone to listen i'm here and can try my best, i'm almost always on discord if that helps and i like to hangout and do w/e when its not stuff like that too lol

this journal is all over the place whoops sorry but anyway, i'm ok if anyone got worried that knows me and i'm optimistic that things'll get better soon to make that whole mess easier







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Self Reminder list
1) Vivian for Erin
2) fairy py


1) Melon for Nolem
2) Vivian for Erin
3) fairy py

i should probably do some other things but these are things specifically i gotta get to, hopefully within the next week