This year has gone by so fast. We're already 3/4ths done. Thought I'd talk about things.

Privately, I've got a lot of concerns to juggle between work, mental and physical health, and obligations. It's given me much less time do personal projects. And when I do have personal time? I've felt terribly anxious; my ADHD flairs up like nuts. And I only think that's gotten worse with the state of the world AND private issues leaving me on edge all the time.

This is why I don't take on public commissions for the most part, cause I don't feel like I could deliver at a very adequate time. It feels like negotiating what the client wants raises expectations and talking to friends about it takes away the "surprise" of getting stories. How do professional commission authors do it? When a story gets written, do the recipient work as the editor to get it fully done? This isn't to take away from artists or claim that it's easier; I know lotta people who've gone through real dry spells over the past couple of years. The act of writing, getting characters personalities' right, and making a complete scenario is very intimidating. Think it's just because it reminds me when I used to write fan fiction and how some people would be very protective of how a character is interpreted.

On the writing side, I'm thrilled I was able to get "The Milkman" done. It took months to go through and constant tweaking, but it's probably the best piece of kink writing I've done. Each story I take on has gotten bigger and bigger, and the views the story (and Eunice!) got speak well for themselves. I had 5 different writing projects in the work, but at least I've gotten 1 done. I've got a few things to get through, from gifts to trades and even a few kinky fanfics to do. I've just gotta channel the spark when it comes. I still want to be able to do this at some point, so I be more than a commissioner in this community.

And on another note, I think we're all aware of the tragic passing   maikeru (Sofia) because of our broken American health system. She's done so much for me and this side of FA for so long. One of the earliest artists I've loved and the most significant one to who I am today. I'd planned a few more commissions with her back in April. She was an important fixture to the small friend group I've amassed here. Be sure to support her partner   kunoichi and/or make a donation to her Memorial Fund. I don't tend to grieve all at once, but the dread and pain tend to come in waves.

It's hard to see where the world or even this website might go from here. Social media is imploding and we've all collectively realized how much damage it's done to people. That's just going to increase as tech oligarchs use it to harm everybody else. That damage keeps coming in stronger and stronger waves. Will it reach the breaking point? I don't know.

But if I'm left with nothing else, this is the last bastion I want to be at.

I'm cross-posting this from BSKY but it summarizes a lot of my feelings since being out:

It's been five years since I joined the fandom; which all traces back to this moment when   maikeru drew my characters Serena and Victor for the very first time. It was so simple, making a couple who I wanted to represent myself and things I enjoy, and yet it was life-changing.

For a really long time, I was a lurker of the fandom. I was really unsure and insecure about myself, especially when I had so many fears attaching myself to labels of furry and queer. Especially when...what could I offer these talented artists and creatives?

Because of COVID and the state of the world; I wasn't sure what to do. My curiosity had boiled over. What would it matter at this point if I were found out? The world's in crisis enough. And then one day, I asked an artist I really liked to do a drawing of characters who I made up a month ago.

The level of euphoria I experienced getting just the sketches back was almost too much to bare. In that first hour like, I felt a very dormant part had tapped into me had exploded from the ground like a volcano. They were beautiful, they were adorable, and they were real.

And then slowly I became more confident moving from then onward, repeating that feeling again and again. More new characters, more artists to talk to, more people who recognized the beauty and societal constrictions over fatness, and more emotional splendor seeing two large people love each other.

Over the past years, several of my IRL relationships whittled down or frayed apart cause of so many reasons. Especially now as I'm middle-aged and might be on the cusp of learning I have a chronic illness...

I don't know how I would have made it without joining the fandom.

It was liberating in ways beyond comprehension. Which is why I value every comment, every like, every crossover, every artist, every share, because this is a place that makes me felt belonged without having to hide who I am. Guess that's what brings us all together, huh?

Happy PRIDE Month 🏳️‍🌈

Extra bit of an update: I'm currently working on IRL projects at the moment, so I can't guarantee I'll have any writing done until August or so. Still will be uploading commissions now and again but all those other ideas still bounce around in my head.

One difficult as fuck year gone, time to start another likely difficult as hell year. Who knows what the future holds for us or this website or the community in general, but if one thing is for sure, I'm not going any time soon.

So I didn’t update this journal much last year and it may be the same for 2025. Though I did at least accomplish the goal of doing more collaborations with people than ever before. They are sporadically spread among my various social media pages, but they are out there. So I'll consider that a win going forward while I still get to know many more fine folks.

Now if I do have one goal for this year that would improve me is that I want to submit more written works. I’ve been involved in the fandom in 4 years and thought I’d have written more by now; but real life stress got the best of me and felt I could only do so much between submissions and descriptions. I'm hoping this year I can get back into creative writing. I've gotten back into the swing of outlining things and writing down ideas. So here's a list of things I hope to publish this year:

-An Amber/Felix Story
-A League of Legends Story
-An Erin Story with Serena and Victor
-A Story with Eunice and an OC
-An Inflation Story with Amber
-Weight Gain One-Shots with Other People's OCs
-Trades

Anyway, wishing everyone the best to survive and strive through the rest of the year.

FA was only down for 2 days but it was an anxious time. I really noticed how slow furry fandom can be without images popping up here and on discord servers (especially when Discord via Browser is having an issue sharing images via Twitter). I was checking social media much more frequently than I care to admit. Not having this place as a general database for art and writing really sucks especially as social media has eroded. Still wanna get back to writing fun stories for people to read.

Glad things are back to normal but I thought I'd share an my Bluesky Account I still update it semi-frequently. Things could break down at any minute. Sometimes art featuring my characters premieres there instead of here or Twitter.

https://bsky.app/profile/flexiblebear.bsky.social

Hey everybody.

2024 surely came with a vengeance. So much stuff already happened to the world and myself within a real small amount of time. Though it's put a lot into perspective as to what I want to do with this community, especially as I have no intention to leave and want to continue to grow the characters, stories, and lovely coms I get from artists. So for 2024 I'm dedicating myself to one word.

Collaboration.

I've been on my own little island for the most part. I have some really wonderful friends who I can be open with and are willing to listen to some of my ideas or pitches. But I want to stretch out more by doing works with other people, like my short stories with Victor and Serena or my write-up done with Amber's gamer-themed picture. I don't know if I'll open up comms to the public yet, especially since writers have to create a lot more specific criteria on what they can get done and what they are comfortable making, but I wanna make more with close friends to share with the world.

So here's to more written work in 2024!

Hey everybody,

So as we wind into December I thought I'd be 100% with you all. I'm having trouble keeping up with a lot of projects I have going on. There's always something new happening to me, compounded by my own ADHD that makes upkeep very difficult. There's a lot of drawings I have not uploaded onto FA because I want to do write-ups for them, but never just have the time. At most, I get flash of inspiration that helps me post something new OR I'll be able to find a small window of opportunity. There's so much I wanna write and so much I have planned, but it's just becoming a bit inert.

The other trouble I'm reaching is that I'm running low on ideas for my characters? I've become a bit more picky applying certain scenarios to certain artists, but this leaves me very tapped out when say, a high profile artist opens up for business and I can't grasp that opportunity because I don't have a good idea yet. And I have burned myself before by not having a fully cohesive idea that later on bites me in the butt.

So I did want to give an update. I'm open for ideas, suggestions. There is plenty of stuff you all haven't seen, but it'll come with time.

So while I haven't been super active on FA, if you've been following me on the bird-site or the cloud-website, I've been pretty active posting some special new commissions there. All centered around the Fluffqueen, Amber! It's capping off today as it's officially her birthday.

I've had some great artwork I've been meaning to share; some of it I'll post here soon but it's easier to post on social media since re-posting and re-sharing is so much easier. So you should follow me on X while it's still around just to see the many new forms of the Fluffqueen.

PS: Today is also Fat Bear Week, but that aspect has been pretty quiet this year.

So Twitter or X or whatever continues to break down every week. Yet I still don't feel very compelled to leave it. I think we've gone through several moments of panic right now we assume everyone's going to leave it all at once and start fresh via Mastodon, Co-Host or Bluesky but it never happens. As bad as Twitter is, it's still the best way to grow and promote yourself.

Mastodon seems to be too confusing, nobody uses Co-Host, Ikaru is more of a gallery, and Bluesky (while being better and not toxic like Twitter is now) is not good for promotion or finding commission work.

So until the website crashes crashes, I'll probably stay around there. I often do more of my commissioning work through there or Discord.

Happy Pride Month Everybody!

This month is very special to me, as it was when I started creating furry characters and diving into this fandom head first. It also helped me come out as a Pansexual which has made me feel so much more comfortable in my own skin.

What does mean for you? To celebrate, I will be posting some great new artwork! Even a brand new amazing short story!

Thanks for following!

Hey ya'll, I have a CuriousCat now!

If you want to ask anything about my characters or myself, go ahead! (This is not for RP!)

https://curiouscat.live/flexbearwrites

So I released this year I had lots of pictures around Spring and Summer...but nothing really for Fall and Winter. There's a few commissions I can upload to fit that, but I much prefer colder weather for several obvious reasons.

Anyone got great ideas for Fall/Winter themed pics with my characters?

To Me!

I won't say how old I am, but I'll upload some cool things!

Love this community!

To anyone it may concern,

I'm still getting commissions you may see here or there on FA and Twitter. Might even be getting some new characters soon. Things have just gotten really hectic IRL. Health issues, family health issues, all that jazz.

If you do follow me, thank you very much. Each watch, follow, like, comment all inspires me to create and put my ideas to print (or ask a talented artist to draw it)

So I don't know if this is intentional but June/July seem to be my furry anniversary months. It's when I seem to create all my characters or post them for the first time. And we'll keep that going! From now until the end of July, I'll be uploading sporadically more new characters, commissions, and even some writings!

Thanks for watching!

Zzz...

More art and writings will come soon! Just waiting on the right time to post things.

Hey everybody! Hope we'll have a better year in 2022.

I haven't uploaded any art of my characters lately; primarily just because I'm waiting on a fair number of commissions and I think we're all held back by the holiday. I'll have another massive upload sometime in January.

If you check on my twitter or my favorites, you'll still catch new works of Victor, Serena, Felix, and Amber!

If you happen to run by this user page and you happen to buy writing commissions, I'd like to ask some questions!

-How much do you normally pay for a writing commission and how long?
-What qualities do you like best in a commissioner?
-What qualities do you like best in their writing?
-Is the amount of variety they offer important?
-Do you collaborate in the project at all? Ask for any edits or changes?
-Is buying a writing commission for someone a good gift?

Appreciate it!

Hey everyone!

June 23rd is when I officially came out, joined the community, and Victor/Serena became a thing! So in honor of all those things with Pride Month going on, I'll be releasing a lot of great commissions and posts starting next Monday!

Thanks for following and enjoying my characters!

Yup! It's a thing and I'm part of it! And this month is also special since late this month it'll be the 1-year anniversary of me officially entering the fandom!

I'll be uploading a lot of commissions I've got in the recent months!

-Tax Season is Done
-Fully Vaccinated
-No More Articles Due
-Good Health Checkup

Hopefully ready to contribute more to this website! I still have some commissions to upload and I'm thinking of attaching stories to them? I don't know how often they get read on FurAffinity but I do feel like I could use the outlet/practice.

Needless to say that 2020 was ass. I was even setting up to high expectations for myself in November when the election was taking so long and this month feels like it was being stretched by an inter dimensional taffy puller. I especially had to be cautious when more people around my friends and family were catching COVID and self-quarantining. I usually thrive during the holidays but I scrapped by pretty much doing everything by myself.

The biggest positive of the year was basically coming out and indulging in a new part of the Internet that I was always ghosting on but never fully apart of it. Partially from denial and motivated by fear; I wasn't sure where I'd be going after a very long relationship turned sour and was struggling with my own mental/physical health issues. But joining the community was the best decision I could ever do to survive through this year. Even though I feel very disconnected jumping in during my early-30s, there's way more people that I connect with that I could have realized.

I'm glad I'm here. I'm glad I've willed Victor and Serena into existence and they make other people happy! I'm happy to be in a place where creativity and sexuality and body positivity flourishes like a raging waterfall. From everyone I've commissioned to friends I've made, it all made all the hardships of this year worth it.

2021 is not going to be easier. It's probably gonna be more difficult in ways I'm not expecting. But now I have a real space to be myself and have an amazing outlet for all my creative desires. I'm hoping I can actually write this time. I didn't get any progress done during NaNoWriMo...

But I made a proper outline from start to finish and that's something!

-FlexibleBear.

Considering how much of this year was an absolute nightmare; October felt incredibly light and sometimes enjoyable by comparison. I've had a lot more fun chilling with people in Discords or even getting to catch new, incredible artists on twitter and FA just about every single day. Though as I've come to realize I definitely spend too much time on social media. I know how to avoid doom-posting, but my need for constant stimulation is just sucking away all my time and drive. So I'm taking up a big task.

November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWrimo). I've tried to do it a few times but each one has ended up in failure either due to obsessing over perfection or really bad stuff happening in my life that has left me unable to write. The goal this day is just to get the stuff from my head written on the page. I didn't think it was possible until I wrote a 1000 word story in 2 hours last weekend. I still think I have that talent.

I'm not going to be posting the stories immediately; but I'll definitely want to create content for people to read. Even as a commissioner I still want to provide some form of entertainment for the rest of you all. And I'm looking to do the origin story/meet cute on how a certain goat and samoyed got together.

Wish me luck!

Today is my birthday. Old as fuck. But surprisingly I'm feel good this week for several reasons, mostly cause things are taking a step for the better. A couple of note relating to my activity.

1. I have a twitter now! A lot of artists only contribute via twitter and are easier to talk through there, so I took the plunge of taking this account there. I'm mostly using it for art faving/sharing but you may see me in a conversation or two! https://twitter.com/flexbearwrites

2. Got some really great commissions in the pipeline! Some are being sketched out and artists are getting back in touch. I'll be posting more writing ideas and plans when I get my reference sheets done!

Aight, that's it for now from the Bear! Peace.

Hello everyone. You can call me Bear. I've been a pretty long time observer in the Furry and FA communities for years but for the past few months I've finally decide to take the plunge to be in the community openly. Getting my first commission made me feel incredible emotions that made me realize this was the right decision.

My OCs are Serena and Victor as you've seen. I'm writing up biographies about them as we speak and they will be my main fursonas as well. (More so Victor as I'm cis male). Guess I'm not the first person who chose an animal for their first name then switched to a different species!

I'm not an artist but I've been writing online off and on for years. I really want to write a love story about how they came together even though I'm not sure how much fiction gets attention on FA. If it gets attention I'd probably be up to writing some more saucy, steamy things involving them too.

Anyway, I hope you all enjoy them and I hope to have lots of fun talking to new groups of people here!

Coming Soon!