Another year gone, another year older. I survived the hell that was 2020 and things are starting to stableize. I'm hoping for more fun for the coming years with a few new suits in developement and an old one looking to see a replacement. Can't wait to show them off and have fun with folks again.

Wow 2020 has been a butt, but I survived another year of being a cute squeaky toy critter.

Welp another year has gone by. I'm still alive and kicking albiet not as hard as I used to.

Another year in the books and time for a drink and some cozy suiting for the evening.

*resumes lurking*

I recently visited the Bay area to meet up with some old friends and I have to say I had a blast out there. So much that I was sad to go back home. Gonna have to visit that area again, its just so beautiful out there and lots of nice furries.

Been coping with depression a bit lately. A lot that has fueled the depression is the feelings that I'm not wanted around. I keep dwelling on the concept that friends care about you and show you support, and yet I find myself going through the same routine every day and I just don't feel that I mean anything to anybody. I find myself being more withdrawn and wondering why I bother existing in this community anymore. It is frustrating not ever hearing from people without having to poke and prod for interaction and frankly I've heard all the excuses why nobody bothers but apathy is apathy. I don't know if I'll delete everything here or just keep things up and just lurk, I'm still debating on what I want to do in that regard.

Last week my furnace of 23 years decided to act up prompting me to change my plans to get it replaced now instead of at the end of next summer when I plan on replacing my old air conditioner. $3500 later I now can rest easy and not worry about waking up to a frozen house. Getting it replaced today was the final nail in the coffin for a few friends luring me to making an appearance at MFF for the rubberfurs party (though needing a conbadge had already prevented that)

I'm considering posting art I've commissioned and perhaps some fursuit pictures to my account. Would you guys be interested in this and/or approve of me doing this?

I have most of my stops planned out for my October road trip, but really wish I knew people that live in the central/northern plains states. I'm not looking forward to my 17+ hr drive to get to my friends in Colorado. I know this is getting rather short notice as I'm down to a little over a month til my vacation starts, but if anybody in Kansas or Iowa would like to hang out/play host for a couple days I'd love to chat with you and get to know each other.

Well a week ago I got to experience my first car accident. I was stopped at a light and someone who wasn't paying attention came up behind me and totaled my nice car. I was poised to pay this car off before October and use the extra money to improve my living situation. Instead I had to buy a new car and now will be spending the next 6 years with a similar payment. I sustained minor injuries in the accident, just a some stiff and sore muscles in my upper back, shoulders, and neck. A week later and I'm close to being back to 100%, so after a week home from work I will be going back on Monday. This change of financing will cause me to postpone and/or miss out on getting a rubber suit made and an inflatable toy I was hoping to get.

I have one more day of work then I will be hitting the road to visit a few friends and have some fun. Should be an exciting time with plenty of squeakiness and cuteness going on. Looking forward to hanging out with those that I will be seeing on this trip.

I have no plans for any convention for at least the next two years. I just don't feel like using the vacation time or large amounts of money to just be seen. The last couple of years have shown me that people will pretend to be interested in hanging out before a convention comes up but in reality treat me like I don't even exist at the convention. Maybe it's just a way for these people to gauge interest or find stuff to do and overbook, but I have to wonder why I'm the one that others are always "Too Busy" for. Oh well their loss.

So I've seen a few journals of some BDSM test results, figured I'd take the test and here are the results.

76% Bondage Receiver
71% Switch
68% Bondage Giver
66% Experimentalist
55% Daddy/Mommy
55% Girl/Boy
55% Submissive
51% Brat
50% Voyeur
46% Exhibitionist
41% Masochist
40% Brat Tamer
40% Primal (Prey)
39% Non-monogamist
38% Dominant
34% Master/Mistress
34% Primal (Predator)
33% Sadist
32% All-Rounder
29% Slave
29% Vanilla
16% Degradation Receiver
15% Degradation Giver
8% Pervert

I have my vacation times for 2015 approved and here they are. May 8-26 (East coast run with stops in IN, TN, PA, and NH). Second vacation is approved from Sep 29-Oct 12 (Hoping to make that middle of the country trip. Wanna hit up CO but failing that I will shoot for OK and TX)

I don't really know any more. I just feel like I'm a piece of meat, and like posting here is just allowing myself to be used. I don't have outlets to share my kink interests or to contribute to this community any more. I haven't posted any new pictures or videos in a while because frankly I don't feel anybody appreciates what I have to offer, let alone myself. People I've considered friends have grown distant with me and I just feel like beating my head against a wall, getting nothing out of my efforts besides a headache. I'm sick of being expected to go out of my way for people, but I never seem to get any effort from anybody besides myself.

2013 was a mixed bag for me though mostly positive. In March I had a bad ankle injury that I've yet to fully recover from though it feels much better. The ankle injury did cause me to cancel my plans to attend FCN. In May I finally got promoted at work after waiting nearly 6 years. The promotion resulted in me not working much overtime after that. In September I found and purchased a house that I'm still pretty happy with. It was well maintained and I only have to get a few fun projects worked on. Because of the home purchase I had to pass on Fur Fright at well, surprising that both conventions that I took time off for and missed ended after this year. I had a good time at MFF, lots of parties and kinky fun. I'm hoping next year will be fun at MFF and hoping to get to visit my bunny again and get things going with him.

Today I had an evil and somewhat sexy kinda TF and potential vore idea I'd love to see brought to life some day.

What we have is an evil mad scientist otter that has developed a device (ray gun) that can transform others into life sized sweedish fish. What kinda evil plans he would have for such a device?

Got my appliances and furniture installed yesterday. Gotta wait until the 27the to get the water hooked up for the ice maker in the fridge. Found out that the master bedroom has plenty of room for the king sized bed and a nightstand and dresser. Guest room is a tight fit but I managed to get a two drawer end table in there. Eventually will need to fix the door knob for that room. Guest room has a wolf theme, master bedroom is yiffy critter room (foxes, bunnies, and citras oh my! Not to mention kinky folfy) The final steps will be to get rid of my junk, shelve my books and strategy guides, inflate my toys, and clean the old apartment and I will be fully settled in here. Then will be saving up for the renevations I want to tackle. Love the fact that there is a bowling alley just up the road.

13 more hours from now I close for my wonderful house. Tomorrow will be a busy day. Movers show up at 9, I have to do a walk through at the new house at 10, close at 11, then start unpacking. Hopefully I'll have internets back by this time tomorrow. Took off for Thursday so i can get settled in. Then I need to plan having guests over for some fun.

Got a 3DS. Friend code is 4656-6799-6587

Respond with yours and I'll add ya

Over the weekend I set up my purchases for needed appliances and some new furniture for the future house. All I'm waiting on is the appraisal to come back and to do the closing stuff. All works out well I will be in my new house in about 3 more weeks. Im so excited.

Went to the my insurance agent today and back to the bank. Got a good quote on home insurance and got the loan application process started. Need to wait on getting word back from the appraisal and get the disclosures done for the loan next week. Everything should be done soon and I should be moved in my the middle of September. This is getting so exciting.

I'm getting more and more excited on getting this house. The owner accepted my offer yesterday so now I'm onto the step on bringing in a home inspector to make sure there are no surprises. After that is filing my loan application (witch I'm already preapproved for) and getting an insurance quote. Right now I'm hoping to close towards the end of August or early September. I want to move in by mid September at the latest.

Today marks the first step down the road towards to home ownership for me. I've selected 3 homes in the area I'm interested in buying. Later this week I will start the process of getting one of these houses for my own. I'm so nervious and excited at the same time.

So last night I came to the realization about some of the local furs and how they are. Sent a an anger laden message to one of them as a result of the continued apathy that I've received from these people. As a result of these people's continued poor treatment of me I have been forced to really consider hard what and who I consider to be a friend or friend worthy. What I see in people makes me sick. I don't like being used and treated like I just exist for someone's use, but I see that most people only take an interest in another person only when there is someone they want from the other person. I've grown fed up with the behavior of people that causes them to create excuses for why they can't bother to even try to show that they care about others. I've gotten to the point now where being nice just for the sake of being friends with someone is a waste of my time. Why should I try being someone's friend when they behave like they don't want me around or like I don't exist?

A friend once said something that I really agree with "Its really easy to show someone you don't care about them. And it takes real work to show them you do care. So get off your ass and try!"