time to break my long silence of being inactive as fuck.
I've always thought that the BAN on depicting minors in NSFW has always applied to everything. that includes OC, MLP, Digimon, Pokemon, Sonic, etc., but apparently I was wrong. I honestly don't know why they decided to say "all minor NSFW is bannable, except for digimon and pokemon." and then suddenly say "nope, pokemon and digimon is bannable too."

They say as if there's an overwhelming support for this update, and there were countless number of people submitting those tickets, but all I see everywhere (on twitter and FA) are overwhelming number of people disagreeing with this change. so, I'm wondering...who ARE the people who is supportive of this change?


I just think this whole situation is dumb.

I know this "fursuit sex" is practically considered as a "taboo" in the furry world...but I want to know: why?

now, before I get any flames, I, myself do not want to do a fursuit sex. shit man, that thing must be hot!

Ok, I think fursuit sex is just like a cosplay roleplay sex. you dress up as something else that you are not, and have sex pretending you are one. People buy those slutty Halloween costumes, and hell, I think most people have sex in them. Is that considered a taboo? nope. It's just kinky or something.

I just really want to know the reason why it is considered a "taboo" with no real reason other than "it's disgusting." Thinking that "it's gross" or "disgusting" and bashing fursuit sex, is same as bashing the gays who are happily married (you know there are people who thinks that is gross).

I want people to keep an open mind about each other's sexual fantasy, you know? "Furry" isn't necessarily a normal fetish. Just don't kill people.


TLDR Why is fursuit sex bad? give me a reason.

but It's such a paaaaaiiiinnnn....and booooriiiinnnng....baaaaaaah [insert random excuses here] so that is the reason I still haven't done that much digital artwork.

STOP.WAKING.ME.UP.EVERY.NIGHT! it's so annoying, the earthquake always comes when I am trying to sleep :/

yes, I'm in Japan and yes, I DID feel the earthquake of magnitude 6. I thought I was going to die D:> but hey, I'm alive! but I'm more worried about the people who got hit by the tsunami :/ and the earthquake is still going :/

I moved to Japan around last month, so I don't have a scanner with me, which means I can's scan my roughdrafts :/ and I barely draw from scratch with a tablet so there's not going to be any updates for a while =I dammit

my friends :3

apparently she were sending some "suggestive" pics to a "certain someone" that is not me...*looks at the pics* yeah...never received an email from her...especially with these pics.

no nipples and stuff are showing, but she IS topless in her lingeries...you think this is unforgivable?

You have no idea how much I want to thank you all for your comforting words. I never knew there was so many people that actually cared. It might sound emo, but it's true. I don't have much friends in RL, and I had some BAAAAD experiences online.

Thanks to you all I am slowly but surely recovering! I have yet vomited my breakfast, and I had a good 10h sleep for the first in weeks!(even if it was a black out, it's still technically "sleeping" XD). I do feel like vomiting the food right now, but I'll try to hold it in. My heart still feels like it wants to fucking implode, but I "think" it is getting better.

Again, thanks to you all who helped me *hugs you all*

<rant>
yes, I have broke up with my love that I have been going out for 5 years. and according to her, she didn't love me for the last 2 years. My fault, she says. She says I changed a lot...I graduated! and I need a job to fucking support my family and my self! and not only that, I'm supporting you, too! I'm taking on all the stress like any other bitches do to keep the other person happy. and what does she do? she fucking walks all over it and then says "I don't know if I love you anymore." OH...MY...GOD! I busted my ass off working, looking for a job,too. surviving, and I didn't have enough time to be with her, and she found herself a new "Best friend" that she supposedly hangs out with EVERY.SINGLE.FUCKING.DAY! at his house, too! she barely ever came over to my house by her self. only once or twice in a year. she says "he's just a best friend" and does shit what BFs DON'T DO. "sleeping right next to each other, sitting on each other's lap, going on a piggy back ride...when I AM THERE. what ever she says to me, I would take in. she says "I don't like how you act when blah blah blah" I change my self. even now, I am changing my self in the appearance because you thought I am too fat. i bust my ass off for this relationship, giving you EVERYTHING I CAN! and she doesn't do shit back to me, except just fucking stabs me in the heart when she doesn't call me. I stopped calling her to see how long will it take for her to call me...FOR EVER. she never called me, while she calls her BF every day and night... so she just can't make 1 fucking MINUTE TO FUCKING CALL ME!? yea, shows how much you cared. I asked "do you love me?" she replies "I care about you" and no, she doesn't give a SHIT about me. she only cares about her poor love-thirsted ass. she waves her ass around, until she gets a better guy, then just pretends that she loves me. I drove her to places...I fucking lent her a CELL PHONE for 5 YEARS. and what, she just decides to stop loving me? ok, fine then, I guess you don't need your cell phone anymore, huh? oh yeah, you prolly won't need this computer and this TV when I move away, since you have your "Best Friend" that will buy you everything you fucking need. I never let any of this out to her. she doesn't know I am suffering so fucking much, she never knew, and never cared. I gave an obvious signs of stress and discomfort when she sees her "Best friend" but she just doesn't know. she doesn't know when I lie to her anymore. she doesn't know who I am any more. She doesn't know shit anymore...I praise her, I comment her, I comfort her, and what do I get? nothing. not a single fucking kiss when we were going out. it was a thank you hug, when she kisses her "best friend's" cheek. yea, if you and your "best friend" knew each other since you were like what...5th grade? then I wouldn't care...but you guys only knew each other for half a year! you just can't make "best friends" out of a snap! it takes more than a year! it took me a year and a half to even be your "best friend" oh yeah, I forgot...we were best friends weren't we? and you told me "he's not like that, we are BFs" ... DEJAVU MUCH!? I can guarantee you are going to fucking go out with him in lets see...next 3 months? probably after I leave for japan...I loved you with all my heart! you dumped me for another man, you cheated with me on another man. I SHOULD'VE KNOWN I WASN'T GOOD FOR YOU, BECAUSE I'M NOT TALL AND I AM NOT WHITE. not only that, I am not rich, I am not funny, I am not entertaining, I am not "special", I am not caring enough, I am not nice, I am not a "man", I am not who you once loved, I am not your ideal fucking MAN. you know what!? I AM nice, nice enough to rip my heart out in stress for you. nice enough to take 5 years worth of stress, and not let even 1 drop get to you. and you are right, I am not funny. I have no skills in humor. I am not sly or smart, so I can't just make you laugh by saying something funny. I have to think like 5 minutes to think of something funny. when I dumped her, I did it for my sake. since CHEATERS WILL ALWAYS BE A CHEATER, I just couldn't stand the idea of her sleeping with someone else while i am in japan for 4 years, trying to study my ass off for "OUR" life. I barely broke any promises...BARELY! but you broke almost every single fucking promise you have ever made to me..."I'll always love you" you said that to me twice...yea, REAAAAAAAAAAAALY convincing, and you broke it the third time. "call me when ever you go to your "best friend's house, k?" "k" and she doesn't call me at all. they don't know that I sometimes sneak behind their house, listening in to what they are doing (stalker, I know). You break so much promises, then why do I have to keep on suffering? Why don't you? oh yeah,thats right, you never loved "ME." You wanted me to be someone else the whole fucking time. You wanted me to "change" my self. You didn't want "ME" you wanted "IT." You walked all over me, you told me to change so many times, you took the advantage of everything, now, I don't even know what's "ME" anymore! I don't know if I am wearing a mask. I don't know if this whole thing is just a big lie. I don't know who you loved? Who did you love? did you love "William Olin Tadaaki Mashburn V" or "some perfect guy that you can be totally lazy on?"

You said that you felt like I used you for sex. ME!? use YOU!? hah! don't make me fucking laugh! you barely ever did make me cum! even once was a great hassle for you! and I make you cum like what? 3 times? unless you faked all the orgasms you had, which breaks another one of our promises. who's using who now again? I did ask for sex half of the time, but who ended up satisfied most of the time? yea, thats right, YOU.

I am such a horrible guy... I am wishing for her and her "best friend" to split up...something happens and they never see each other...and I also still "flirt" with her...hoping I still have another chance, even if I said "this is our last chance." I know it's wrong...but I would do anything to make her love me back... even if it's a lie...I was still happy...now days, I can't sleep or eat...I try, but I just can't. I vomit up the food I eat, I can't sleep...I know the exact reason. it's my heart broken state...how is it going to be fixed? only 1 way, for her to love me again...and I am not going to even think of loving some one else again...


what hurts the most, is that you smile towards your "best friend" in a way you used to smile at me...It's obvious that you have a "feeling towards him" and I know that he has a "feeling towards you." you know how long I have suffered through the whole stabbing in the back? EVER SINCE YOU HAD FEELINGS TOWARDS HIM! which is what...4 months!

I know you are going to tell your "best friend" about this. you tell him everything. you told him everything about our relationship from what I did, and what I said to him. why do I know? because you were like that when WE were going out.

fucking shit...why do I still love her...? please, someone tell me, why do I still love such a horrible bitch from the bottom of my heart, why does thinking about her make me cry? why guys, why? U don't know...I want to forget this feeling...I want to forget how "love" feels...if it hurts this fucking much, I don't want to fall in love again... DAMMIT! I LOVE YOu! WHY! PLEASE TELl Me!!! why! why why whywh ywhywhy!? I don't know! is it your body? is it your personality? is it your existence? after you read this....I want to know what you have to say. say I'm a bitch. say that I'm trying too hard, say I have no more chance to be with you, say you are going out with your "best friend" say that you don't want to see me ever again...but please, TELL ME WHY I STILL LOVE YOU SO MUCH IT MAKES ME CRY EVERY DAY AND NIGHT!! </rant>

and no, I am not going to kill my self, for those who you are reading this and thinks Imma go commit suicide... and yes, I am going to be a dick, and I am going to make my love (my ex, but I still love her) read this and I am ready for my heart to burn to ashes, and I am ready to live my whole life without loving anyone, faking myself everyday.

man, I'm such an ugly asshole...


















why...

It's over-rated.

I hear people talk about the game as if it's god. I played the game when it was free...I beat the whole game within a day and I didn't die...and it was also my first time... :/

I'll play portal 2 when my friend lends me the game.

the cake is a lie...so what? i really don't care. my motivation is beating the game, not the cake.

right now! http://www.livestream.com/trentlive

hey, sorry for the lack of update. anyways, My podcast pals and I are going to give a live podcast a try. We will do it here: http://www.livestream.com/trentlive around 10:45 EST.

I hope I'll see some of you thar :3

when McDonalds/school foods are even more gross, expensive and unhealthy? D: (may vary depending on schools)

requests:

1.  Jinx-huha his fursona standing on ledge !done!
2.  golden-rabbit gothic military fursona (working)
3.  ATTACK1942 his fursona in S.T.A.L.K.E.R. uniform sitting against a wall. (working)
4.  Timitei him and his mate cuddling (working)
5.  Frankencupcake draw Jorial (organizing and working)
6.  Shukie Her Fursona sexy cute.
7.  rets187 his femboy cheetah fursona
8.  Falox His fursona.
9.  keeperofjunk His abra cosplayed as Samus
10.  aj93 his fursona as a KH char.

I swear Shukie, Rets and Falox is plotting something :/ You all came for request today 0.o;

OMG WTF!? 100 peoples be watching me!? IMPOSIBLE! THIS MUST BE A MISTA- NO ITS NOT!? thanks all for who ever is watching me, I actually never thought I would even get 30 watches :/ but damn, 100? for me who barely post art? dang...

I'mma draw thank you pic nao, but I'm also gunna sleep *super tired -.-;*

---

[ ] Work on the art request -WIP-
[ ] Draw more -trying-
[ ] Try out Pastel coloring -no chance :c-
[ ] Get better at anatomy -Yep, need more practice-
[ ] Get more friends :c -so far, no luck :/-
[-] Get used to the tablet -slowly getting there.-
[ ] Try to get a Commission -no luck :c-
[/] Get 100 watchers - YESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!
[/] Do more requests and Trades -3 requests WIP if you wanna art trade, contact me :3-
[/] Get a new phone -I need to get a better one, this one sucks monkey balls :/
[ ] Save your F'n money -D:>-

001. Name → William Olin Tadaaki Mashburn the Fifth
002. Nickname(s) → Willie, Will, Ookami
003. Status → under pressure of drawing 0.o;
004. Zodiac sign → Gemini
005. Male or female → Male
006. Elementary → Summerset Elementry School
007. Middle School → Tyee Middle School
008. High School → Sammamish High / Robinswood Alternative School
009. Smart → Nevah
010. Hair colour → Brown (winter = dark, summer = light)
011. Long or short → medium long.
012. Loud or Quiet → Depends...but I guess I'm in a loud category XD
013. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans, it's the most common pants. (for a sec, I thought this question said "Sweet Jesus" LOL )
014. Phone or Camera → Phone, since you can't talk to others in real time with a camera
015. Health freak → Not a freak, but I do "TRY" to be healthy ;3
016. Drink or Smoke? → Nope, I can't even eat a food with 3/4 red wine in it :/
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Yes, it's mah girlfriend  shiho <3 RUV YOU!
018. Eating or Drinking → drinking, since it's more essential.
019. Piercings → I had one on my left ear, but I think it's closed.
020. Tattoos → Already have the designs, now I need money for it.

FIRSTS:

023. First Mate → My girlfriend  shiho
024. First crush →  shiho shit, I was worried if I was gay until I met her 0.o;
025. First best friend → Richard Fukutome (Fuck you to me XD) and Takuya Curtis My best friends.
026. First award → hmmm....none...I think?
027. First pet → Poochie... a mixed breed of black lab / unknown. Passed away April 1st, 2005.
028. First big vacation → shit, forgot, but I went to New Mexico with my BF, Tak. We watched a whole season of LOST there lol XD
030. First big birthday → Last Birthday, Had the most people over > 4 peeps
CURRENTLY:

049. Eating → I want to eat Burger King, Double Whopper :c
050. Drinking → None
052. I'm about to → HOLY SHIT PARADOX! *ahem* I'm about to go to sleep after this meme.
053. Listening to → Uraomote　・ love　・　knights (裏表・ラブ・ナイツ) http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm8842593
054. Plans for today → Draw for once.

YOUR FUTURE:

058. Want kids? → Hopefully a boy, so he can be William the Sixth XD
059. Want to get married? → I do, but not so soon
060. Careers → anything that'll get me into a gaming industry.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH OPPOSITE SEX?

068. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
070. Shorter or taller? →I wouldn't care.
072. Romantic or spontaneous → Spontaneous
073. Nice stomach or nice arms → Nice stomach <3 sexy abs.
074. Sensitive or loud → sensitive.
075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
077. Troublemaker or hesitant → Trouble Maker >:3

HAVE YOU EVER:

080. Lost glasses/contacts → Nope, I dun wear glasses or have contacts.
081. Ran away from home → nope.
084. Broken someone's heart → Nah, it's not like no one ever liked me anyways.
085. Been arrested → Several cases close to it, but nope.
087. Cried when someone died → I was the firstone to cry out loud ;_;

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

089. Yourself → yeah
090. Miracles → Without Miracles, life would be boring.
091. Love at first sight → Yea
092. Heaven → Definately
093. Santa Claus →I do, 'cause if I don't I don't get Xmas Presents :3
094. Sex on the first date → >.>; noooooooooooo? *looks away*
095. Kiss on the first date → Definitely
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → Of course.
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → No! I want a job, I want to get better at this, and that and that and *endless rant*
099. Do you believe in God → Only in the ones seems fun to believe in.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag people? Nope, not gunna tag, I'm doing this to be bored and sleep, and guess what? it's working XD

Gnight, all!

oh yeah, extra Q: Do you Believe in Aliens and Ghosts? : Aliens, yes. Ghost, I have no choice but to believe in them, bah XD

I'll be working part time starting from sunday Nov. 22, but until then, I need some way of support...

anyways, I learned several stuff about working from this first actual "job"

1. Do not be in any kind of fashion or position where they may think you are asleep, asleep or not, if you they think you are sleeping, you are in trouble (the reason why I got fired :/ )

2. Don't hold back, nothing is good when you do. Even if you feel lazy and not want to do something, do it (again, another reason. a certain famous game had about 6 page worth of bugs to write up, but because I was lazy and the developers said 4 out of 6 pages were all no bugs (24 bugs) I stopped posting them.

3. Be sure to let your manager know all of the disadvantageous condition of work (hard to put it in words, but I got assigned to 5 different project, and 4 out of 5 was the final version and at the last 2 week of the game, which means no bugs to find, so I had an incredibly low amount of bugs reported.)

4. And last but not least, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT STAY HOME EVEN IF YOU ARE SICK.(another main reason I was fired. Because some idiot decided to come to work with the pandemic flu not only once, but TWICE, it got me sick both times. and after I get better, guess what, new sickness, like a normal flu, and some shit like that. I did what the company told me to do, I quote, "Do not come to work if you are sick" which made me lose ALOT of days. so even if they tell you to, Don't stay home.)

*sigh* time to go look for another job...

Yes, my best friend is making a website for whatever reason he is, because I really don't care, but he said he'll make a room for me so I can do a webcomic. Hearing this, I was super hyped up, but now, I dunno I can do it, since the story I want to draw is almost all serious and almost no humor..so I have to re-write the whole story so it can have some humor and fan-service ;3

Now, he gave me these 3 rules to follow:
1. I have to update at least once every bi-weekly
2. It has to at least be in B&W or in full color
3. no super explicit stuff.

the rule number 3 got me, since there was going to be some blood and gore, so seems like I have to cut down on that :/

well, just letting all the people that is even going to bother looking at this journal know that I am going to start a webcomic someday. :3

Sorry for a totally random thing 0.o;

OMG, my wolf mascot made it to the top 4!? LOL!

but it was disqualified since I don't got to the school anymore :P

---

[ ] Work on the art request -WIP-
[ ] Draw more -trying-
[ ] Try out Pastel coloring -no chance :c-
[ ] Get better at anatomy -Yep, need more practice-
[ ] Get more friends :c -so far, no luck :/-
[ ] Get used to the tablet -slowly getting there.-
[ ] Try to get a Commission -no luck :c-
[ ] Get 100 watchers (7 more) -woo! getting there XD-
[/] Do more requests and Trades -3 requests WIP if you wanna art trade, contact me :3-
[ ] Get a new phone -Lost my old one :c-
[ ] Save your F'n money -D:-

[ ] Work on the art request -WIP-

[ ] Draw more -trying-

[ ] Try out Pastel coloring -no chance :c-

[ ] Get better at anatomy -Yep, need more practice-

[ ] Get more friends :c -so far, no luck :/-

[ ] Get used to the tablet -slowly getting there.-

[ ] Try to get a Commission -no luck :c-

[ ] Get 100 watchers (7 more) -woo! getting there XD-

[/] Do more requests and Trades -3 requests WIP if you wanna art trade, contact me :3-

[ ] Get a new phone -Lost my old one :c-

[ ] Save your F'n money -D:-

I WANT TO DRAW! but damn, I have no Ideas. I'm not as gifted and talented like the others, but I would like to practice, so I'm now open for art trades and requests. I'm going to take 3 requests and 5 trades.


Requests: ~closed~ (woah, that was fast)
1.  Jinx-huha
2.  golden-rabbit
3.  ATTACK1942

Trades:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

please, give me Ideas via message.

Here are the list of stuff I gotta do...:

[/] Finish the trade art for :icon TheBiggestIdiotEver:

[ ] Draw more

[ ] Try out Pastel coloring

[ ] Get better at anatomy

[ ] Get more friends :c

[/] Get a Job

[ ] Try to get a Commission

[ ] Get 100 watchers (9 more)

[ ] Do more requests and Trades

[/] Get a tablet

Graaaaah! D:> *drowns*

EDIT: I now work at nintendo :3

The problem is solved and it's all better now. Sorry for being such an ass and a pain yesterday >.<