NEWS on Tabs and commissions
General | Posted 13 years agookay... as some of you know, I offer tabs to people who cant affort art RIGHT AWAY but can pay over time. Problem is my records have gotten a bit messy lately and i'll be working on fixing those up here soon,
however! I've divised a way to keep track of the immediate payments and the ones on the Tabs.
I have two paypal accounts.The one ive always used, for those of you who pay right away, use that one, for those who are on TABS i will give you the adress for the other one, this way i can MUCH more easily keep track of payments from each and tick it off as it goes. who owes what and who doesnt etc.
ALSO, theres going to be a change coming up here with tradiional commissions. in the next couple weeks i'll be changing how thigs get sent out, using flatrate priority envelopes so you all get your artwork in a timely manner with automatic tracking, the post office will pick the mailers up at my apartment and that way im no-longer dependant on my roomate and her hectic scedule to get things mailed out. The downside to this is that things will be basically mailed out AS they are done instead of shoved into piles. This is only for those of you who do immediate payments mind.
how it will work:
starting tomorrow traditional art slots will be sold on my STORENVY account. additional characters will also be avaialbe as a separate, shipping-free purchase.
Shipping will be $5 from now on, i will do my best to make sure you can still make your piles count and find a way to still bulk ship things.
FOR DIGITAL ART.
I will be setting up Dropbox this weekend. MY commission folder will be full of HIGH REZ psd files for you to grab and download as things are confirmed as paid. USING MY DROPBOX IS GOING TO BE A PRIVILAGE. if that privilage is abused in any way i will take it back down. the Dropbox SHOULD hold most of not ALL of everything i owe people. So make sure to be ready. each person will be put into individual folders containing your art. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO DOWNLOAD SOMEONE ELSES ART, PLEASE DON'T. its rude and i count that as abuse. I will know everyone who has acess to my dropbox, if it is abused i'll tell everyone who used the service WHO YOU ARE and let them deal with you. I will not tolerate being an ass about it.
That is all.
I look forward to streamlining this process as much as possible if you have any questions regaurding anything here please comment.
however! I've divised a way to keep track of the immediate payments and the ones on the Tabs.
I have two paypal accounts.The one ive always used, for those of you who pay right away, use that one, for those who are on TABS i will give you the adress for the other one, this way i can MUCH more easily keep track of payments from each and tick it off as it goes. who owes what and who doesnt etc.
ALSO, theres going to be a change coming up here with tradiional commissions. in the next couple weeks i'll be changing how thigs get sent out, using flatrate priority envelopes so you all get your artwork in a timely manner with automatic tracking, the post office will pick the mailers up at my apartment and that way im no-longer dependant on my roomate and her hectic scedule to get things mailed out. The downside to this is that things will be basically mailed out AS they are done instead of shoved into piles. This is only for those of you who do immediate payments mind.
how it will work:
starting tomorrow traditional art slots will be sold on my STORENVY account. additional characters will also be avaialbe as a separate, shipping-free purchase.
Shipping will be $5 from now on, i will do my best to make sure you can still make your piles count and find a way to still bulk ship things.
FOR DIGITAL ART.
I will be setting up Dropbox this weekend. MY commission folder will be full of HIGH REZ psd files for you to grab and download as things are confirmed as paid. USING MY DROPBOX IS GOING TO BE A PRIVILAGE. if that privilage is abused in any way i will take it back down. the Dropbox SHOULD hold most of not ALL of everything i owe people. So make sure to be ready. each person will be put into individual folders containing your art. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO DOWNLOAD SOMEONE ELSES ART, PLEASE DON'T. its rude and i count that as abuse. I will know everyone who has acess to my dropbox, if it is abused i'll tell everyone who used the service WHO YOU ARE and let them deal with you. I will not tolerate being an ass about it.
That is all.
I look forward to streamlining this process as much as possible if you have any questions regaurding anything here please comment.
The Beast of Booty bay
General | Posted 13 years agoFunny little thing i came up with after listening to Voltaire's "Beast of pirate's bay" as some of you may know i fell off the wagon when it came to Warcraft.. *hangs head in shame*
anyway this is a little parody of the aformentioned song.
Gather weary travelers
I have a tale to tell
it might just save your lives
but only if you listen well,
out there beyond the dockside
and just around the way.
there is a sign that say's beware
"the beast of booty bay"
Some say she's a monster
that was once sylvanas' pet
but if you want to look for her
you surely would regret
They say that she stands ten feet tall
and there's no place to hide,
everyone whose seen her twice
don't make it back alive
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
the beast of booty bay.
Some say she's a demon
who came here straight from hell
to banish the forsaken
and sinners just as well
I see you don't believe me
but you do have to agree,
from what I've said this crazy bitch
should never have been free
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
the beast of booty bay.
You've heard of warden stillwater
who was turning men undead
He really was a piece of work
he filled hillsbrad with dread
one day he met the creature
I'm not sad at all he's dead
with one swipe, her massive paw
took off the warden's head.
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
the beast of booty bay.
Varien Wryn you know of him
they once called him lo'gosh
because he fought just like a wolf
when in the horde he fought,
one day he met the monster
and it isn't hard to see
why now these days he never leaves
he safety of his keep
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
the beast of booty bay.
Well now the bar is empty
and there's only you and me
and if you care I'd like to share
how this song came to be
so come a little closer if
if you really want to know
this very sad and woeful tale
didn't happen long ago
I was minding my own business
when I came to booty bay
and there i saw the creature who
was in such a disarray,
She wanted so much to be a thing
which everyone would fear
a scourge upon the 7 seas
and she shed a lonely tear
no one would fear a worgen
they thought she was a cur
and so i promised Tiberon
to warn everyone of her,
And all I could to do help her
was to tell everyone each day
and I wrote the sign that said
beware the beast of booty bay!
and what did it say?
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
hell I should know I put it there!
heed the sign that says beware
the beast of booty bay.
anyway this is a little parody of the aformentioned song.
Gather weary travelers
I have a tale to tell
it might just save your lives
but only if you listen well,
out there beyond the dockside
and just around the way.
there is a sign that say's beware
"the beast of booty bay"
Some say she's a monster
that was once sylvanas' pet
but if you want to look for her
you surely would regret
They say that she stands ten feet tall
and there's no place to hide,
everyone whose seen her twice
don't make it back alive
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
the beast of booty bay.
Some say she's a demon
who came here straight from hell
to banish the forsaken
and sinners just as well
I see you don't believe me
but you do have to agree,
from what I've said this crazy bitch
should never have been free
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
the beast of booty bay.
You've heard of warden stillwater
who was turning men undead
He really was a piece of work
he filled hillsbrad with dread
one day he met the creature
I'm not sad at all he's dead
with one swipe, her massive paw
took off the warden's head.
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
the beast of booty bay.
Varien Wryn you know of him
they once called him lo'gosh
because he fought just like a wolf
when in the horde he fought,
one day he met the monster
and it isn't hard to see
why now these days he never leaves
he safety of his keep
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
the beast of booty bay.
Well now the bar is empty
and there's only you and me
and if you care I'd like to share
how this song came to be
so come a little closer if
if you really want to know
this very sad and woeful tale
didn't happen long ago
I was minding my own business
when I came to booty bay
and there i saw the creature who
was in such a disarray,
She wanted so much to be a thing
which everyone would fear
a scourge upon the 7 seas
and she shed a lonely tear
no one would fear a worgen
they thought she was a cur
and so i promised Tiberon
to warn everyone of her,
And all I could to do help her
was to tell everyone each day
and I wrote the sign that said
beware the beast of booty bay!
and what did it say?
don't you go out after dark
and don't turn off the light
'cause out there is a creature
who occupies the night
She'll tear you up in pieces
if you ever come her way
you've seen the sign it says beware
hell I should know I put it there!
heed the sign that says beware
the beast of booty bay.
In need of adresses
General | Posted 13 years agoSo i finally got off my arse and shoved all you peoples piles into envelopes, unseald as of yet just in case you want me to "hold" your bundle.
This is the list of people i need adresses from.
PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR ADRESS IN A NOTE
and i will save it to my rolladex once and for all so this crap doesnt happen
I will be checking you off as i get your addys
Peeps i need shiz from: (in no particular order)
ANIONEDGE
ARISUVIXEN
SIERRA - aquired
LEON DOTA - aquired
PARIAH
KACIFOX - aquired
DRACOSILVERSCAR
CODYDOG
SABER
ISK84WAFFLES
FLEXICO
CHAKAT TIGERSTRIPE
TIGERMARK
FORVET
KOICHI - aquired
LINADIVORCEOFL
REBEL SQUIRREL
(note if you know i need to send you shiz and your not on the list, it may be you have "less" of a pile with me. if so poke me and i will add you to the list and cross you off)
This is the list of people i need adresses from.
PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR ADRESS IN A NOTE
and i will save it to my rolladex once and for all so this crap doesnt happen
I will be checking you off as i get your addys
Peeps i need shiz from: (in no particular order)
ANIONEDGE
ARISUVIXEN
SIERRA - aquired
LEON DOTA - aquired
PARIAH
KACIFOX - aquired
DRACOSILVERSCAR
CODYDOG
SABER
ISK84WAFFLES
FLEXICO
CHAKAT TIGERSTRIPE
TIGERMARK
FORVET
KOICHI - aquired
LINADIVORCEOFL
REBEL SQUIRREL
(note if you know i need to send you shiz and your not on the list, it may be you have "less" of a pile with me. if so poke me and i will add you to the list and cross you off)
under the weather
General | Posted 13 years agogonna rest a bit today still feeling off colour from yesterday. Stream should resume tonight.
Just feeling meh.
Just feeling meh.
Achievement unlocked
General | Posted 13 years agoSooo yeah this is my first year being more or less 100% in charge of my own finances.
I really wish this hadnt been hammered into my head at an early age that this was a horrifying thing that all adults must do but hate because it's so darn difficult. It's not. As was filing my taxes for the very first time, not nearly as scary as my mother made it out to be.
What got me most about using turbo tax was that at the end it said : congratulations on filing your tax return, would you like to tweet or Facebook your achievement? Don't forget to like us on Facebook!
Adulthood has achievements.... Wtf
I really wish this hadnt been hammered into my head at an early age that this was a horrifying thing that all adults must do but hate because it's so darn difficult. It's not. As was filing my taxes for the very first time, not nearly as scary as my mother made it out to be.
What got me most about using turbo tax was that at the end it said : congratulations on filing your tax return, would you like to tweet or Facebook your achievement? Don't forget to like us on Facebook!
Adulthood has achievements.... Wtf
Mother board issues
General | Posted 13 years agoSo my Mac got overheated in our lovely air condition-less apartment and fried it's bloody motherboard. I'll be taking it to apple tomorrow to get it repaired but unless they have spare motherboards lying around I doubt im goings to be live for the next few days. Unfortunately I can't simply take nights off the way is like. I still have my tools of the trade just no way to record what I'm doing.best I can do is give someone pictures of what I'm doing. Basically if anyone wants traditional art cards badges or wha t have you I shall find a way to communicate with you I still have my iPad and I can still draw for people. I'm still willing to work as always just not I. The same way I used to. Please please help me out my goal is $100 a night and this is my only income. This is my job. Please help me.
Digital commissions tonight
General | Posted 14 years agoi'll be taking digital commisshies for the first half of the night tonight if anyone would like one before i transition back to trad for the rest of the evening please say so now, Mixed media streams will happen on monday, wendsday, and if im not doing MTG with my roomate, Friday. all other days will be Traditional only.
otherwise! I will be doing TLDragon's two digital commissions and then transitioning, you have untill i complete his order to stake your claim.
I should be starting at 6pm EST barring any unforseen circumstances, but failing that 7pmEST
(i am on GMT -5)
otherwise! I will be doing TLDragon's two digital commissions and then transitioning, you have untill i complete his order to stake your claim.
I should be starting at 6pm EST barring any unforseen circumstances, but failing that 7pmEST
(i am on GMT -5)
NEWS FOR WIGGLE PAW ICONS.
General | Posted 14 years agosooooo ive been getting an increased demand to change the template to perfectly fit peeps feets, wider, three toed, dragon, five toed.... you name it ive been asked to do it, but people are suddenly like "eeeeeehhh $40...... not worthit kthnx bai" I can understand this, the original commissioner of this icon paid for it in FA advertizing, the fact i could re-use it and made the only stipulation that his would be unique and i could use the base model. and im all like "sweet okay!" and its a very good deal really. I get tons of adverizing, get to recolor or gently remodel the template for other people for a nominal fee, and my paws are going out to all reaches of FA.
But alas i DO want to cater to those of you who have different feet but i cant really justify changing the template without knowing it will sell, hence the $40 for the creation of a new template i can reuse.
HOWEVER I HAVE FOUND A SOLUTION TO THIS.
If i can get 3 or more people to commit to buying a certain model, i will make it and only charge each of you $15. I get to keep the template, and you get icons that form fit your feet. Yay? yay.
SO. heres the models i've encountered that people want me to make but cant afford. people can "pledge" to a certain model and once i have 3 or more pledges I will make that template, the more pledges i have the sooner i will make it. Sound fair? i hope so.
Kangaroo feet: No pledges
Three toed regular feet: No pledges
four toed, wide feet:
averydragon
Three toed wide feet: no pledges.
Five toed normal feet:
not-fun
five toed wide feet: no pledges.
these are all i can think of so far. addition of pads will still be a small charge extra but only like $5 or so for the person requesting it, otherwise all templates above will be padless save the toes.
But alas i DO want to cater to those of you who have different feet but i cant really justify changing the template without knowing it will sell, hence the $40 for the creation of a new template i can reuse.
HOWEVER I HAVE FOUND A SOLUTION TO THIS.
If i can get 3 or more people to commit to buying a certain model, i will make it and only charge each of you $15. I get to keep the template, and you get icons that form fit your feet. Yay? yay.
SO. heres the models i've encountered that people want me to make but cant afford. people can "pledge" to a certain model and once i have 3 or more pledges I will make that template, the more pledges i have the sooner i will make it. Sound fair? i hope so.
Kangaroo feet: No pledges
Three toed regular feet: No pledges
four toed, wide feet:
averydragon Three toed wide feet: no pledges.
Five toed normal feet:
not-funfive toed wide feet: no pledges.
these are all i can think of so far. addition of pads will still be a small charge extra but only like $5 or so for the person requesting it, otherwise all templates above will be padless save the toes.
scype name (sorry for all the journals)
General | Posted 14 years agoRULES FOR JOINING THE SCYPE. IF YOU DO NOT TELL ME IN YOUR REQUEST TO BE ADDED WHO YOU ARE ON FA I WILL DECLINE YOUR REQUEST. please respect that i need to know who you are.
THIS is the official scype name for the stream: DEVIASTREAM so creative i know.
THIS is the official scype name for the stream: DEVIASTREAM so creative i know.
Livestream + scype?
General | Posted 14 years agoas some of you may know i now go upstairs to do my livestreaming evenings, this is to give my poor roomate "space" so she can game with friends over xbox live and do other things like rehearse for concerts without feeling preassured.''
this is FINE with me because my stream is a bit.... um... adult natured at times and im practically living with a woman who describing her as "pure as the driven snow" would be an understatement. But hey i love her and i wouldnt change her.
ANYWAY i lack censorship when im upstairs, and it provides me with some interesting opportunities. I have an ipad i can use to communicate over skype, and to be honest id like to have either some guests on there while i stream, or just a group of you that can vocally chat with me while i do my stuff.
So i'll leave that up to my audience, would it be cool? or just a pain? would anyone be willing to do it with me?
EDIT: so apparently alot of people are interested. because im an insanely private person forgive me for not spreadng my personal skype name to the masses. but for those interested the streams name is: Deviastream, I may still be selective of who joins and who doesnt, WHEN YOU ADD THIS NAME please tell me who you are on FA if you do not you will not be accepted.
this is FINE with me because my stream is a bit.... um... adult natured at times and im practically living with a woman who describing her as "pure as the driven snow" would be an understatement. But hey i love her and i wouldnt change her.
ANYWAY i lack censorship when im upstairs, and it provides me with some interesting opportunities. I have an ipad i can use to communicate over skype, and to be honest id like to have either some guests on there while i stream, or just a group of you that can vocally chat with me while i do my stuff.
So i'll leave that up to my audience, would it be cool? or just a pain? would anyone be willing to do it with me?
EDIT: so apparently alot of people are interested. because im an insanely private person forgive me for not spreadng my personal skype name to the masses. but for those interested the streams name is: Deviastream, I may still be selective of who joins and who doesnt, WHEN YOU ADD THIS NAME please tell me who you are on FA if you do not you will not be accepted.
Pure Happiness.
General | Posted 14 years agoI took the night off last night from commisshies to chillax and relax with my stream homies and of course watch
Vinci_nicolaides do a beautiful card for me. you can see it here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7579562
This means a ton to me that i was able to get a commisison from her and such a beautiful one at that. I think most of my watchers know i don't personally commission art, ive had art bought for me, had a tail made, but ive NEVER and i mean NEVER sought out another artist to draw for me. This was a first and i must say It was worth every penny.
For those of you who dont watch Vinci, please do, shes an excellent and wonderful and professional artist whom i've admired for so so long. Her art has always filled me with warm fuzzies and I hope she does the same to you.
okay i think I'm done Fan-spazzing now. But yeah i was just in awe last night that after 10 years of knowing this womans heartfelt work, i was finally able to interact with her and watch her draw my favorite characters from her comic.
Peace Vinci, i hope I don't sound too darn creepy hehe.
Vinci_nicolaides do a beautiful card for me. you can see it here: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7579562 This means a ton to me that i was able to get a commisison from her and such a beautiful one at that. I think most of my watchers know i don't personally commission art, ive had art bought for me, had a tail made, but ive NEVER and i mean NEVER sought out another artist to draw for me. This was a first and i must say It was worth every penny.
For those of you who dont watch Vinci, please do, shes an excellent and wonderful and professional artist whom i've admired for so so long. Her art has always filled me with warm fuzzies and I hope she does the same to you.
okay i think I'm done Fan-spazzing now. But yeah i was just in awe last night that after 10 years of knowing this womans heartfelt work, i was finally able to interact with her and watch her draw my favorite characters from her comic.
Peace Vinci, i hope I don't sound too darn creepy hehe.
Beats head against the wall*
General | Posted 14 years agoToday was a bad day on the home front long story short my mother COMPLETELY LOST HER FORKING MIND. my closest friends know the gritty details but for the short version theres a high probablility that my father is going to have her comitted for this stunt.
Today was a very stressful high octaine emotional day and im feeling very drained. Stream will commence this evening probably around 7:30 unless the roomie has plans. If i had alchohol i'd be getting drunk.
Today was a very stressful high octaine emotional day and im feeling very drained. Stream will commence this evening probably around 7:30 unless the roomie has plans. If i had alchohol i'd be getting drunk.
The Entertainer
General | Posted 14 years agoi know this isnt the song that one of my streamers asked for, but it reminded me of the orignal and the lyrics that were added to it later. Im thinking of doing a little art peice around it.
Now the curtain is going up,
The entertainer is taking a bow,
does his dance step and sings his song
even gets all the audience to sing along
yes he knows just what he must do
he will bring down the house when he's through
snappy patter and jokes he knows what pleases the folks
the entertainer the star of the show
It was in vaudeville and he was on the bill
with all the singers, dancers, acrobats and clowns,
there was a dancing bear, even a dog act there,
and a comedian who never let 'em down.
But when he came on and did his fav'rite song
he really wow'd em in the cities and towns
they came from near and far to see the vaudeville star
the en-ter-tain-er.
Now the curtain is going down
on the entertainer, the artist, the pro
he was put on this earth to give us laughter and mirth
the entertainer, the star of the show.
- The entertainer
I have such a pathetically old soul its not funny
Now the curtain is going up,
The entertainer is taking a bow,
does his dance step and sings his song
even gets all the audience to sing along
yes he knows just what he must do
he will bring down the house when he's through
snappy patter and jokes he knows what pleases the folks
the entertainer the star of the show
It was in vaudeville and he was on the bill
with all the singers, dancers, acrobats and clowns,
there was a dancing bear, even a dog act there,
and a comedian who never let 'em down.
But when he came on and did his fav'rite song
he really wow'd em in the cities and towns
they came from near and far to see the vaudeville star
the en-ter-tain-er.
Now the curtain is going down
on the entertainer, the artist, the pro
he was put on this earth to give us laughter and mirth
the entertainer, the star of the show.
- The entertainer
I have such a pathetically old soul its not funny
im a SURVIVOR!
General | Posted 14 years agoI'm going to make it.
So adjustment time while i get settled into my new place, mom rwar, dad totally supportive. About how i thought it would be. *sigh* oh well. Just need to keep buisness up now with work work work weeeee. I art for MONIES. (And the rare art supply weee)
So adjustment time while i get settled into my new place, mom rwar, dad totally supportive. About how i thought it would be. *sigh* oh well. Just need to keep buisness up now with work work work weeeee. I art for MONIES. (And the rare art supply weee)
A Life in Retrospect
General | Posted 14 years agoTonight will mark the beginning or ending of my life as I know it. Some of you may know whats going to happen, others can only speculate by reading the comments of the knowing.
for early 27 years I have lived, loved, and grown under the faithful and at times oppressive care of my loving parents. Recent events however have taught me that there is more to life beyond my little golden cage. I live a privileged existence, my parents are "the 1%" as occupiers would tell you. Poor Little Rich Girl, so i've been called by my roommates in college. The suffocating atmosphere has grown too much to bear and with horror and with complete paralyzing fear, I've chosen to depart this evening. It frightens me that I have let it come this far, that im nearly thirty and still letting this continue. Never able to truely grow up. I could say it was a hazard of the economy, that cruel fate prevented my proper independence. In truth it was only partly to blame. In large it was my fear, of being hated by the two people I was raised to believe loved me unconditionally. In another it was my fear of the great unknown, what would befall little me in the great big scary world?
It took watching Tangled, to see an objective view and to my horror I saw my mother mirrored perfectly in Mother Gothel. Every parallel is there, the "stay with me or I'll die" My mother has lupus, any sort of prolonged stress can put her in the hospital as I saw first hand multiple times a year growing up. The manipulation of "mother knows best" Every refrain i'd heard before in some kind of twisted attempt to oppress self judgement. My mother isn't evil, just... flawed... and I recognize now my parents are not infallible. They have the wisdom of years, but what i am about to do... they did it too, and they didnt regret it either.
It is so hard to do this and not demonize them in the same breath. I'm terrified and in the bare bones of it, i can't pinpoint why. Fear of being caught? fear of being remanded? fear of being found and dragged back but why would they want me after this? Fear... just... fear itself. In the end, I love them and this kills me, but my mother has made it clear I'm not seen as a person so much as a possession, not quite her fault but hardly mine.
Wish me luck please,
for early 27 years I have lived, loved, and grown under the faithful and at times oppressive care of my loving parents. Recent events however have taught me that there is more to life beyond my little golden cage. I live a privileged existence, my parents are "the 1%" as occupiers would tell you. Poor Little Rich Girl, so i've been called by my roommates in college. The suffocating atmosphere has grown too much to bear and with horror and with complete paralyzing fear, I've chosen to depart this evening. It frightens me that I have let it come this far, that im nearly thirty and still letting this continue. Never able to truely grow up. I could say it was a hazard of the economy, that cruel fate prevented my proper independence. In truth it was only partly to blame. In large it was my fear, of being hated by the two people I was raised to believe loved me unconditionally. In another it was my fear of the great unknown, what would befall little me in the great big scary world?
It took watching Tangled, to see an objective view and to my horror I saw my mother mirrored perfectly in Mother Gothel. Every parallel is there, the "stay with me or I'll die" My mother has lupus, any sort of prolonged stress can put her in the hospital as I saw first hand multiple times a year growing up. The manipulation of "mother knows best" Every refrain i'd heard before in some kind of twisted attempt to oppress self judgement. My mother isn't evil, just... flawed... and I recognize now my parents are not infallible. They have the wisdom of years, but what i am about to do... they did it too, and they didnt regret it either.
It is so hard to do this and not demonize them in the same breath. I'm terrified and in the bare bones of it, i can't pinpoint why. Fear of being caught? fear of being remanded? fear of being found and dragged back but why would they want me after this? Fear... just... fear itself. In the end, I love them and this kills me, but my mother has made it clear I'm not seen as a person so much as a possession, not quite her fault but hardly mine.
Wish me luck please,
Goodbye Mr. Jobs
General | Posted 14 years ago... Say what you will about his products. But any negativity posted on this journal will be deleted and the person blocked.
Steve Jobs died today at aged 56. As a new drinker of the macintosh koolaid, Im not the best advocate of Mac or apple. Whether your a diehard PC user or Mac user lets all show some respect to a man of great innovation who frontiered several new inventions whose influence will shape the technological landscape for years to come.
Steve Jobs died today at aged 56. As a new drinker of the macintosh koolaid, Im not the best advocate of Mac or apple. Whether your a diehard PC user or Mac user lets all show some respect to a man of great innovation who frontiered several new inventions whose influence will shape the technological landscape for years to come.
Kitteh FOUND
General | Posted 14 years agoSo being the raving insomniac i tend to be i was afraid to go to sleep last night because of the fear of draming of all the horrible things that could have befell my beloved feline fatale.
wee early this morning Jynx our youngest cat, began making a terrible racket against our door, being awake aready i went to see what the fruckus was about. Opened the door and there, like nothing was wrong, sat Tess, looking up at me expectantly with a "Mrow?" I dont think she quite expected me to hug her so damn tightly but good news is shes fine, no visible injuries, or so much as a bent wisker to denote her 30 hours of tribulations. Aside from several dried leaves plastered to her fluffy tail. I've yet to comb them out though i don't want to irritate her. I have to go to work at my father's place today so on my way home im picking her up a tiny 1/4 pint of vanilla ice cream. Im so happy she's back, i was worried to death she was going to end up like Wolfie and trust me.... i STILL have nightmares of that.
So I am once again a very happy kitty.
This is Kat signing off, streams will resume this evening
wee early this morning Jynx our youngest cat, began making a terrible racket against our door, being awake aready i went to see what the fruckus was about. Opened the door and there, like nothing was wrong, sat Tess, looking up at me expectantly with a "Mrow?" I dont think she quite expected me to hug her so damn tightly but good news is shes fine, no visible injuries, or so much as a bent wisker to denote her 30 hours of tribulations. Aside from several dried leaves plastered to her fluffy tail. I've yet to comb them out though i don't want to irritate her. I have to go to work at my father's place today so on my way home im picking her up a tiny 1/4 pint of vanilla ice cream. Im so happy she's back, i was worried to death she was going to end up like Wolfie and trust me.... i STILL have nightmares of that.
So I am once again a very happy kitty.
This is Kat signing off, streams will resume this evening
Lost Kitty
General | Posted 14 years agoMy eldest Cat, Tess has gone missing. This is the second time I've lost a pet to my father's negligence. She's 10 years old going on 11 and is a delute tortie with soft french grey and beige/tan motttleing. She's been declawed but lived the first year of her life for the most part, out of doors. So she learned to hunt despite this.
Needless to say streams will be intermittent if they happen at all this week and the next. Be you chrstian, agnostic, atheist, muslim or anything else, PLEASE pray I find her alive and well.
Needless to say streams will be intermittent if they happen at all this week and the next. Be you chrstian, agnostic, atheist, muslim or anything else, PLEASE pray I find her alive and well.
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