I've been mulling it around for a while now, and frankly, I haven't really gotten anywhere.

The only things I know for sure is that;

A.) No matter how much I wish it, I can't go back in the past and change what I've done. I'm just going to suck it up and continue onward.

B.) No matter how much I whine to myself, I can't change who I am. Plus it's pointless to whine to one's self, anyway.

and C.) Even if I could change myself, would everyone around me be okay with it? Who would stay with me afterwards? Who would leave?

All-in-all, I am who I am, I did what I did.

I'm still feeling down, it doesn't seem like it will get better, but I'm sure I'll find a way through.

I've had depression for half my life, now. It's affected me in every aspect of my life.

Work, social, home, sexual. Everything.

I never have slept well at night, even before the depression. It only got worse after, and still is. I have a hard time falling asleep, and I will often times wake up multiple times throughout the night and have a hard time getting back to sleep. I constantly have nightmares of death, including my own. I can count the number of times where I've had enjoyable dreams since then. Using no hands. Zero.

I have snapped multiple times at friends and coworkers for no reason. I get into arguments over minor incidents. It's to the point where I'm pushing away my friend of over 6 years and his wife. I'm pushing my family away from me.

I don't often have many sexual urges. This past month more-so than before, but has since dwindled.

I don't ever feel like doing anything. I used to love going to movies and playing games. I can't, anymore. All I ever want to do is just lay down. I've been trying to write, something I found that I love, and I can barely do that.

It becomes terribly hard for me to concentrate for too long. I can't remember details of things. I constantly forget things when leaving places.

I'm not looking for, nor do I want any sympathy. I'm simply putting this out there for the ones who have tried and are trying to contact me and I don't reply. I simply can't.

In my opinion, anyways. I think he is much better now.

- Name: Braxley Ruin Cooper
- Age: 22
- Height: 5'8"
- Eye Colors: Blue with a light glow.
- Eye Features: Blue lines around eyes (Think Fable)
- Ear Piercings: 3 glowing blue rings on each
- Body Features: Nipples pierced, glowing blue bars
- Paws: Paw pads are blue with a glow
- Mouth/Tongue: Blue tongue with a glow and pierced with a glowing blue stud
- Mouth Piercings: Snake bites, glowing blue rings
- Kawk~: Blue, with a slight glow to it~

Well, i have an amazing idea fer a commission, still lacking a bit of money, however, and the fact that i still need to find an artist who'll be able to do this.

I've been on a sort of Dragon Warrior Monsters binge, and would really like a commission of me and three of my favorite monsters. if anybody who is (for some reason or another) watching me knows of an artist who would be able to do this, and is reasonably priced, lemme know.

I'll be on the lookout myself, mind you.